february 2011
DESCRIPTION
Social Networking, Dating Again, Heart Health, Pre NupsTRANSCRIPT
February 2010February 2011
MAGAZINE.COM
SOCIAL NETWORKING
Home | LifestyleDating Again
Health | FitnessMatters of the HeartAthletic SkippingDollars | SensePrenups
February 2011 | 3
08 HOME | LIFESTYLE 08 | Ugh! Dating Again 09 | Over 50 Progressive Single 09 | Online Dating Sites 10 | Valentine Recipes
12 HEALTH | FITNESS 12 | Matters of the Heart 13 | A Heart Healthy Dinner, Deconstructed 14 | Add a Skip to Your Step
20 DOLLARS | SENSE A Different Kind of Valentine:
How Prenups Can Enhance Your Love Life
26 ARTS | ENTERTAINMENT Romantic Getaways
Features05 | FROM THE EDITOR25 | THIS & THAT32 | UPCOMING EVENTS38 | RESOURCES
16Social Networking | Boomers are flocking to social networking in record numbers. Recognizing an opportunity to keep in touch with family and old friends with little effort, we are using sites like Facebook and MySpace and like with most things in our lives, we do it with gusto.
Next Month:Born to Be Wild | Boomers are doing the unexpected with their spare time and retirement.
Boomerang Children | What to do when adult kids come home.
Colon Health | March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. The importance of the colonoscopy.
Tax Tips | Tax time is upon us. Learn a few tips to help you through it.
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February 2011 | 5
Editorial
“Only do what your heart tells you.”-Princess Diana
February is a month that concerns matters of the heart. Not just in a romantic sense, but in the health sense as well. Feb-ruary is American Heart Month. Your heart is symbol of love, but the muscle itself needs to be strong and healthy for you to bestow that love.
Still, we haven’t forgotten the romance. We’ve tackled boomer dating, social networking and romantic getaways. The rest is up to you.
On a personal note: I have had my heart stolen. January 9th I became the grandmother of beautiful twin boys. For those of you who are grandpar-ents, you will understand how easily this crime—this theft of a heart—can be perpetrated. For those of you who aren’t, I strongly recommend it. You will be a most willing victim. Grandparenting is different than parenting because you know that the responsibility to raise these small humans into model citizens is someone else’s, leaving you the freedom of unconditional love. My own mother said, “At grandma’s house, we don’t build character”. While that wasn’t true in her case, I understand the sentiment.
And so, matters of the heart take many roles…health, romance, and love, and February is the month to acknowledge them. I hope you have a healthy, and happy valentines day.
Until next month,
Publisher .................. Utah Boomers Magazine, LLC
Managing Editor ........................................ Teresa Glenn
Contributing Writers ...............Tammy Fletcher, MA,
Brent Wilson, MD, PhD
Paul Holbrook
Photography .................................................... Mark Crim
Russ Lee
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Utah Boomers Magazine is published monthly for the baby boomer population of Utah. The information contained in this publication may be contributed by independent writers and does not necessarily reflect the views of Utah Boomers management. Copying or electronic distribution of any content within this publication is strictly prohibited without the written permis-sion of Baby Boomers Magazine and the author. For reprint permission, editorial submissions or comments email [email protected].
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8 |8 |
“I’m single again and I don’t remember how to go on a date!”
“We spent the whole dinner talking about my ex-husband and his late wife. Needless to say, we didn’t exactly spark.”
“What do women want these days? I haven’t dated since 1985!”
Sound familiar? If you are over 40 and find yourself in the dat-ing pool again, it might feel like you can’t remember even how to dog paddle in the shallow end. Baggage, history, exes, kids....how can you wade through all this to find a connection with a new love interest? Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you navigate unfamiliar waters:
DO:• Show an interest in your date. Ask about her work, or
about his hobbies. Movies, books, music, travel, food—all are great icebreaker topics and a way to get to know the person you are spending time with.
• Give your undivid-ed attention. Put the iPhone on vibrate, resist the temptation to update your Facebook status while waiting for the appetiz-er to arrive (“Having a great
first date!”), make eye contact, and listen.• Put your expectations aside and enjoy yourself. Even if
there is no love connection right away, look at the date as a chance to get to know someone new and have fun.
• Leave your baggage at the door. A date is a fresh chance to meet someone, get to know them, and spend a pleasant time together. We all have baggage, but there is no need to bring it along to weigh down your time together.
DON’T:• Spend the date talking about your ex. Whether you are
sharing the scoop on why the relationship fell apart and all the ways you were done wrong, or describing your ex in glowing terms, this time is about you and your date.
• Expect a love connection on the first date. Expectations create static in your thoughts that can distract you from having a good time. Be in the moment and see how things unfold.
• Feel pressured to move any faster than you feel comfort-able with. Even a first kiss may feel like you are rushing
things. When the moment is right to move things along, you’ll know. Remember when you were young and holding hands for the first time made you feel giddy with excitement? There is something to be said for taking it slow.• Feel like damaged goods because you are divorced,
older, or have experienced pain or sadness. Your life experiences have made you who you are today.
The most important thing to remember is—if you feel good about yourself, it will come across to everyone you meet. Dating is a fun way to explore new relationships, but it is not the ultimate goal in your newly single life.
Tammy Fletcher, M.A., IMF, CFT works with individuals and couples in the San Diego area. Her website is http://www.fletchertherapy.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticlescom/?expert=Tammy_M_Fletcher
Ugh! Dating Again
February 2011 | 9
Online Dating SitesStudies show that the one of the largest groups of online daters are baby boomers.
There are so many different reasons why people turn to online dating. You may be hesitant, shy, or even homebound. You may not have a circle of friends that enable you to meet new people.
The benefit of online dating is that you don’t have to put yourself back in the dating scene too quickly. Online dating sites offer you safe and anonymous communication until you feel comfortable enough to take it further.
The first step is to find the right online dating site, but Google “boomer dating sites” and you will get 575,000 hits. So. How do you know which site is right for you?
Make sure the dating site has security, privacy poli-cies, and a strict password system. A good dating site should vet their members and have policies within their terms of use allowing people to be removed or barred from the site for unreasonable behavior or misrepresentation.
What communication tools are important to you? Do you want chat rooms, email or instant messag-ing? To preserve your privacy, make sure the email service doesn’t use your home email adddress, but an account provided by the dating site.
Ask your friends and trusted acquaintances. What online dating sites have they used and what was their experience, both good and bad?
Read the fine print. How many of us hit the agree button without ever reading the terms of agree-ment? You don’t want to commit to a site that after a few weeks in, you find isn’t right for you, only to find out you’re financially committed for a given period of time.
Make sure the payment method is secure.
Once you’ve settled on a site that’s right for you, be honest. You don’t want to give misinformation that would come back to bite you. Tempting as it is, don’t post a picture you took 10 years and 15 pounds ago. Remember. You’re on a boomer site. We get it.
Be careful, but not afraid.
Happy Dating.
Over 50 Progressive SinglesInterested in a post holiday volleyball game or a bus trip to Wendover for a con-cert with other like-minded boomers?
Over 50 Progressive Singles is a group in Salt Lake City. They use www.meetup.com/singles-2567 as their online site, but don’t confuse this with a social net-working, ala facebook, or dating a site. This is a group of single liberal boomers from along the Wasatch Front who meet in the flesh. They currently have 242 members and a long list of events that you can participate in. If relationships form, well, that’s a side benefit.
Diane Winger, current site organizer, knows boomers. “We are not like our par-ents, sitting in front of the TV, growing old. With our kids gone and free time on our hands, we want to get out and do things we enjoy, while meeting new people with like interests. This is laid back group, with fun people who are easy to get to know.”
They have dinner meet-ups at local restaurants, attend blue grass concerts, attend the theatre, or enjoy moonlight gondola rides.
In 2010 the group took a day trip Nine Mile Canyon and a camping and rafting trip at Flaming Gorge. According to Winger, “The camp out was great. For many it was their first experience with our group and they trusted us enough to go along . We had a great time.”
In January, the group booked a bus to go to Wendover for the Temptations concert. The concert sold out leaving a waiting list for others who missed the deadline. Many decided to ride out on the bus just to spend time with the group.
So, if you are single, over 50 and interested in meeting new friends, give them a try.
Checking out petroglyphs in Nine Mile Canyon Photo by Russ Lee
❝ I really enjoyed meeting the folks [who were there] and the conver-sation…they were all very friendly and nice. Anyone considering this meetup group should come on over...they’ll have a great time! ❞
–Larry
10 |
Shrimp-in-Love PastaWhat you need
1/4 lb. linguine, uncooked 1 cup uncooked deveined peeled medium shrimp2 tomatoes, chopped 1/2 cup (1/2 of 8-oz. tub) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese Spread1-1/2 cups torn fresh spinach
Make it
Cook pasta as directed on package.
Meanwhile, heat large skillet on medium-high heat. Add shrimp, tomatoes and cream cheese spread; cook and stir 3 to 4 min. or until cream cheese is melted and shrimp are done.
Drain pasta; place in large bowl. Add spinach and shrimp mixture; mix lightly.
Substitute Prepare using 4 oz. (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) Philadelphia Neufchatel Cheese, cubed.
To double For 4 servings, prepare as directed using 1 tub (8 oz.) Philadelphia Cream Cheese Spread and doubling all other ingredients
Safely Thawing Shrimp It’s great to have a bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer for a quick meal. Thaw frozen shrimp in the refrigerator, not at room temperature. Or, place the sealed package in a bowl of cold water and change the water every 10 min. until the shrimp are completely thawed.
Calories 490 | Total fat 19 g | Saturated fat 11 g | Cholesterol 205 mg | Sodium 450 mg | Carbohydrate 50 g | Dietary fiber 3 g | Sugars 8 g | Protein 26 g | Vitamin A 70 % DV | Vitamin C 15 % DV | Calcium 10 %DV | Iron 30 %DV
Valentine Dinner
Chocolate-Dipped StrawberriesWhat You Need
1 pkg. (7 oz.) Baker’s Milk Chocolate Dipping Chocolate36 fresh strawberriesMake It
Melt chocolate as directed on package.Dip strawberries in chocolate; let excess chocolate drip off.Place on waxed paper-covered baking sheet. Refrigerate 30 min. or until chocolate is firm.Substitute Prepare using BAKER’S Dark Semi-Sweet Dipping Chocolate.Cooking Know How For best results, serve strawberries the same day they are dipped. How to Select and Store Fresh Strawberries When purchasing fresh strawberries, look for plump, brightly colored berries with a strong strawberry fragrance. If pre-packaged in plastic cartons, be sure to check the bottom of the container for any mushy berries or signs of mold. Store strawberries in the refrigerator and wash just before using.
Recipes and photos courtesy of Kraft Foods www.kraftfoods.com
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12 |
February is the month when we think of matters of the heart and that isn’t just limited to cupid’s arrow. It’s also a great time to assess our heart health. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for both men and women in the United States. Every 25 seconds, one person in the United States will have a heart attack—that’s 1.1 million Americans each year. Roughly 460,000 of those heart attacks are fatal. The vast majority of these indi-viduals never knew that they were at risk for heart disease.
I always try to educate my patients about the possible symp-toms of a heart attack. Some heart attacks are sudden and intense. However, most heart attacks are subtle, with only mild discomfort. Common signs may include the following:
Chest discomfort. This is usually located in the center of the chest and lasts more than a few minutes. It can be an uncom-fortable pressure, squeezing, fullness, or ache, and often gets worse with activity. There can be associated discomfort in one or both arms, back, neck, or jaw.
Shortness of breath. This may occur with or without chest discomfort.
Miscellaneous signs. These may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea, palpitations, or lightheadedness.
I think it’s also important to note that in recent years, the Na-tional Institutes of Health released research indicating women often experience different symptoms of heart attacks than men. Women may also experience these symptoms as long as a month before having a heart attack. The symptoms most often reported by women include unusual fatigue, sleep disturbance, shortness of breath, indigestion and anxiety.
What should I do if I am having a heart attack? Often people aren’t sure what’s wrong and wait too long before getting help. The American Heart Association and the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute have launched the “Act in Time” campaign to increase people’s awareness of heart attack and the
Matters of the Heart
Brent Wilson, MD, PhD
12 |
February 2011 | 13
importance of calling 9–1–1 immediately at the onset of heart attack symptoms. The program also offers educational materials for both the public and health care professionals. (For more infor-mation on this program, visit www.nhlbi.nih.gov/actintime/index.htm).
What are the risk factors for heart disease? Traditionally, these include high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, to-bacco use, physical inactivity, and family history. We now know there are other conditions that also increase your risk of heart disease, such as sleep apnea, obesity, rheumatoid arthritis, kidney disease, erectile dysfunction, and peripheral artery disease.
What can I do to reduce my risk of heart attack? There are many lifestyle changes you can make to reduce your risk of a heart attack. Strategies include the following:
❤ Improve your eating habits. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Avoid foods high in fat, cholesterol, and salt.
❤ Increase your physical activity. Start slowly and build up to at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise five or more days per week. Walking is a good place to start.
❤ Maintain a healthy weight.❤ Quit smoking.❤ Check your blood pressure on a regular basis.❤ Check your cholesterol on a regular basis.
How do I know if I have heart disease? Fortunately, new tools allow us to detect heart disease at an early stage. By iden-tifying heart disease at an early stage, we can make changes that will prevent future heart attacks and heart failure. Talk to your health care provider about screening and tests that are appropri-ate for you.
Here are some of the most common tests and procedures for assessing heart health:❤ Cholesterol test❤ Blood pressure screening❤ EKG (electrocardiogram)❤ Echo Stress Test❤ CT Scan (CAT Scan)So as you celebrate Valentine’s Day, remember to focus on heart health. It could be the greatest gift you give the people you love.
Brent Wilson, MD, PhD, is an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Utah and serves as medical director of University Hospital’s Cardiovascular Center. He received his medical degree and Ph.D. in genetics from Stanford University.
A Heart Healthy Dinner Deconstructed
For Valentine’s Day or any other special occasion, what better
way to show your love than with a delicious heart healthy
dinner?
Start with a salad made with mixed greens. The darker the
greens, the more nutrient rich. Toss with a light vinaigrette
made with olive oil, which is rich in monounsaturated fat and
better for your heart health than saturated fats. Top with a few
dried cranberries which contain disease-fighting antioxidants.
For the main course, serve grilled or broiled salmon. Salmon is
rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids and it is also high in
protein which helps you feel full. The American heart associa-
tion advises eating salmon and other omega-3 rich foods twice
a week.
For a side dish, try homemade pasta with pesto. If you use
whole grain pasta, you’ll be getting fiber that can help reduce
cholesterol and make you feel full. Prepare the pesto sauce
with heart healthy olive oil, basil, and walnuts. Walnuts are
considered one of the top heart healthy foods because they
contain omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin E, magnesium, folate, fiber
and mono and polyunsaturated fats. As with anything contain-
ing fat— even if it’s good fat— moderation is the key.
Another great side dish is steamed broccoli. Broccoli contains
beta carotene, vitamins C and E, potassium, folate, calcium and
fiber.
Toast to your health with a glass of red wine. It contains
flavonoids which can help improve your so-called “good”
cholesterol (HDL).
For dessert, try blueberries which are considered a super
food when it comes to heart health. Among other nutrients,
they contain phytochemicals which help keep healthy cells
healthy and promote good immune function. Eat them plain
or with low fat, low-sugar ice cream. As a rule of thumb, fruits
and vegetables with rich colors, such as blueberries, cranber-
ries, pomegranates, sweet potatoes and squash are generally
consider some of the best disease-fighting foods so remember
to fill your plate with color as much as possible.
Top your evening off with a piece of dark chocolate which has
been shown to lower blood pressure. The higher the cocoa
content, the healthier the chocolate, so look for 70% and
higher.
14 |
Remember when you were young, with boundless energy and an unbridled exuberance for life, skipping wherever you went? Well, it’s time to channel that inner child and start skipping again.
Age Well With Athletic SkippingIn order to age well we need to engage in activities that not only improve our health but our physical performance and function. Walking on a regular basis has health benefits such as lowering the risk of heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, colon cancer and diabetes. Add short bouts of skipping into your walking routine and you will improve your power and ability to move quickly to help prevent falls.
What Happens With Age?As we age we lose around 1.5% of our strength per year after the age of 50. More alarming, we lose twice that, around 3% of our power or our ability to move quickly every year after the age of 50. It is the loss of power that affects our ability to climb stairs, move quickly to cross a street when needed, the ability to stand up from a chair or to recover from a stumble to prevent falling. Our bodies are made up of both slow twitch muscle fiber and fast twitch muscle fiber. Slow twitch muscle fiber allows us go long distance, such as running marathons. Fast twitch muscle fiber allow us to move quickly, such as a sprinter running 100 meters at full speed.
As we age the ability to lift our forefoot quicker (dorsi-flexion) becomes impaired and therefore we may become more sus-ceptible to stumbling because of that inability. Likewise, the inability to push off (plantar-flex) from our forefoot when walking, or to lift our knees high quickly to recover from a stumble or climb stairs limit our speed of movement.
What Exactly Does Athletic Skipping Do? From a simple movement done correctly the benefits are impressive.
Athletic skipping is an excellent fast twitch muscle fiber exer-cise for the lower body. The take off ankle engages in a rapid movement causing the fast twitch muscle fibers to contract so
you propel yourself upward while at the same time the foot stays close to the ground keeping impact low. The high knee movement on the other leg engages in a fast twitch action as well while at the same time producing a greater range of motion thus increasing mobility in that particular movement. The foot that is higher off the ground while the knee is raised high should be in a, “casting” position. This means the fore-foot is flexed or in other words the toes are flexed up toward your nose as if your foot is in a cast. The foot should not be pointed down. With that foot in the “casting” or flexed posi-tion then we exercise that particular movement or the muscle responsible for that movement to happen. Practicing this “casting” movement encourages the “picking up of the feet” while we walk and helping prevent stumbling which can lead to falling. During the aging process that movement gets weak or ineffective and can cause stumbling or tripping because of the inability to lift our forefoot when walking. Again, this will better train our foot to engage in that position while walking which in turn should reduce stumbling.
Relearning SkippingThis is a simple exercise and short bouts can be added while out walking. For example, if you are out for a thirty minute walk, try skipping only 15 meters at a time for every 5 minutes of walking. Athletic skipping is done without much distance covered. In fact, athletic skipping can be done while in place without any forward movement at all. The focus should be on an erect posture, high knee action and very slow movement forward while the skipping action itself is swift.
While benefiting from the health benefits that walking pro-vides you can now improve your physical performance and function by adding athletic skipping to your walking routine.
Paul Holbrook has his master’s degree in Gerontology and is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist through the National Strength and Conditioning Association. He has over 20 years of experience working with older adults. In 2005, Paul founded Age Performance, Inc., which is a training center for older adults where he develops comprehensive strength and conditioning training programs to improve their physical function and human performance.
Add a Skip to Your Stepand quality to your life
February 2011 | 15
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OMG!Boomers are flocking to social networking in record numbers. Recognizing an op-
portunity to keep in touch with family and old friends with little effort, we are using sites like Facebook and MySpace, and like with most things in our lives, we do it with gusto.
That Boomers dramatically alter the social networks they adopt should come as no surprise, according to Lee Rainie, director of
the Pew Internet & American Life Project, a think tank that studies Americans’ online habits. “Boomers are the mainstream of the country now,” says Rainie. “When you attract a main-stream audience, you’re going to attract a lot more commercial interests. Boomers validate that this is a big market, and that this is a place where commercial interests can make money.”
Facebook and MySpace are the number one and two social networks in US respectively. How do the profiles of users from these two social networks stack up against each other?
MySpace stats show that 16.25 percent of the sites users are between ages 45-54 and 6.84 percent 55 and over, while
Facebook boasts 17.74 percent 45-54 and 13.53 percent 55 and over.
FacebookAccording to the site insidefacebook.
com, the median age of a Facebook user is 26, but the fastest-growing
user group is women 55 and over, up more than 175 percent since last fall. Men 55 and over are right behind, having increased almost 138 percent during the same time period.
Still, Facebook has over 140 million members in the United States alone, with the largest growth being those between the ages of 26-34. These “youngsters” often resent we fogies moving in on
their territory. They don’t want to befriend there parents and
grandparents. They feel vexed by our presence.
Our user styles are different. While our younger “friends” tell us what is
16 |
SOCIAL NETWORKING
February 2011 | 17
going on throughout their day (I’m going to the DMV, I’m at the DMV, I hate the DMV) blithely disregarding syntax, punctuation and spelling, we have a tendency to only speak when we have something we feel important enough to share, carefully typing out our thoughts in coherent sentence structures. We are less likely to use the text shortcuts like LOL or OMG but don’t shy away from smiley faces made with a quick colon and closed parenthesis.
EonsFounded in 2006 by Jeff Taylor of monster.com fame, eons.com is a networking site created specifically for baby boomers. They have over 800 thousand registered members.
Linda Natansohn, COO of Eons, explains the site this way, “We started Eons to capture the energy and interests of this genera-tion in a spirited, fun, easy-to-use way. While other social net-works tend to be about ‘me’ —my family, my friends, my circle of people I know, eons.com tends to be about ‘we’— a place to find others who are where you are in life and share similar interests, passions and experiences.”
For instance, search for dogs and there are 64,511 groups. Search for a specific breed and you will find 2033 groups for poodles and 1419 for Labradors. That isn’t to say that poodles are more popu-lar than Labradors. Search for labs and you will find 5520 groups including chocolate labs, white labs, lab toys etc.
You may not know a single person in one of these groups, but you do have something in common…your love for dogs.
If travel is your thing, there are groups for that. Interested in health? There are groups for that. The list is seemingly endless.
The members of these groups fast become friends and many start building offline relationships. Some plan group SKITS (spending kids inheritance tours) that involve their shared interests.
TwitterOur age cohort is less likely to tweet as a social outlet—adults ages 45-65 making up only nine percent of those on twitter. Yet, because boomers make up a large majority of upper management
in the work place, boomer executives are seeing the power of twit-ter as an excellent marketing tool for their younger client base.
LinkedInLinkedIn is a business-oriented social networking site and is mainly used for professional networking. LinkedIn had nearly 70 million registered users, spanning more than 200 countries and territories worldwide. The United States makes up nearly half of those users.
LinkedIn is a site where boomers have a definite stronghold. Ac-cording to data provided by Quantcast, 52 percent of LinkedIn users are male, 48 percent female. The largest user age groups are the 35-49 year olds (39 percent) and the 50+ (32 percent). The majority have an income ranging from $60k to 100+k and are col-lege educated.
Here’s how it works: with each connection you make, you are linked to that user’s connections. As one Utah LinkedIn user put it, “I have a paltry 25 connections, but because my connections are more prolific, I am connected to 338,737 professionals. If I am looking for a job, I can asked my connections for references, and their connections can view them.”
ConclusionThese popular sites are just a few of the many social networking options available to boomers. For more boomer sites go to direct-marketingobservations.com/2007/11/13/the-top-30-social-net-work-sites-for-baby-boomers/ where the top 30 sites are listed. Be sure to read the blog comments to see where your fellow boomers hang out in cyber space.
Reference
pcworld.com/article/164522/are_baby_boomers_killing_facebook_and_twitter.html
google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&defl=en&q=define:LinkedIn&sa=X&ei=EjgvTYbFA4W8sQP_wfDXCQ&ved=0CBYQkAE
http://www.quantcast.com/
SOCIAL NETWORKING
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20 |
Since Jim, age 64, started dating Karen, he has felt 15 years younger. Even with his four adult children living nearby, life has been lonely for Jim since he lost his wife to cancer three years earlier. Karen’s enthusiasm for life has made him excited about the future again. As for Karen, age 58, she wasn’t looking for love. Since her divorce 12 years earlier, she had gone on to build a successful catering business with her sister. But Jim’s gentleness and distinguished good looks proved irresistible, and Karen had accepted Jim’s marriage proposal without hesitation.
Jim and Karen have agreed that Karen will sell her older, paid-off home and move into Jim’s newer home after their marriage. Although Jim has worked hard most of his life and has a good job, he has helped his financially-struggling children out a lot, leaving him with a modest amount of retirement savings and little equity in his home. Jim’s most valuable possession is an antique firearms collection left to him by his father. Karen’s busi-ness success has allowed her to pay off her home and accumu-late quite a large nest egg, but she and her sister have just taken out a large loan to fund the expansion of their catering business.
Although Jim and Karen are both excitedly anticipating their up-coming marriage, their life experience has taught them that mar-riage is more than romantic walks in the park. Both have dealt with the loss of a spouse before, albeit for different reasons, and know all too well the uncertainty and confusion introduced into family matters in such cases.
Karen worries about what would happen if Jim were to die shortly into their marriage. Would Jim’s children boot her out of the house owned by Jim? What would happen if something happened to her? She has always assumed that her share of the business would go to her kids, but what rights would Jim and his children have to receive a share as well?
Jim wonders if Karen will be willing to use their joint assets to continue to help his kids who have struggled economically most of their lives. And will he will be responsible for Karen’s debts
incurred in her business? What about his family collection of antique firearms? What would happen to them if he were to die or she were to divorce him? He knows he doesn’t have much, but being able to pass on this heritage that defined his family for generations is extremely important to him and he wants to be sure that the collection stays in his family.
A Solution: Prenuptial AgreementsWait! Before you toss this article aside and think to yourself “I could never have a prenup,” please, hear me out. Like a will or a trust (traditional estate planning tools), a prenup is merely an-other tool that allows individuals to create, in a sense, their own set of laws to govern the use and distribution of their property. A prenup can be useful for clarifying ownership of property, protecting one or both of you from the other person’s debts, or providing for children from prior marriages.
Without a prenup, Utah law specifies how your property will be divided in the event of a divorce or the death of a spouse. These laws, because they apply to all people, make certain as-sumptions about you and your family; assumptions that are frequently inappropriate to your own family circumstances.
When Might a Prenup Make Sense?1. You are remarrying. Remarriage brings a host of issues that
should be decided before the marriage begins. Often in remarriages there is much more property being brought by the parties into the marriage.
2. You earn much more than your fiancé. Without a prenuptial agreement, a wealthy spouse may end up paying far more alimony in the event of a divorce than would be considered “fair” by most standards.
3. You own substantially more assets than your fiancé. A prenuptial agreement can put to rest the fears of the more wealthy partner in a marriage that the new spouse is marry-ing them only for their money.
A Different Kind of Valentine:
How Prenups Can Enhance Your Love Life
February 2011 | 21
4. One of the partners has a high amount of debt. Many couples intend to work together to pay down the debts of each other. But most couples don’t want to be saddled with the other’s debts from before the marriage if there is a sud-den death or later divorce.
5. To prevent your spouse from changing your estate plan. A well drafted prenuptial agreement can ensure that cherished family heirlooms, cabin property, retirement accounts, and other property goes to whom it is intended to go to (such as your adult children).
6. You are a part owner in a business. A prenuptial agreement can clarify your spouse’s rights with regard to your business interests in the event of your death or a divorce. Without such a clarification, your business partners may be forced to “inherit” your spouse as a business partner.
7. You have substantially less property than your partner. If you are the spouse who brings little wealth to the marriage, a prenuptial can be very beneficial by ensuring that you will be sufficiently provided for if the marriage ends.
How Can a Prenup Bring Couples Closer Together?Many experts are beginning to recognize that prenups cab be an effective form of pre-marital counseling, result-ing in significantly strengthened marriag-es. A prenup involves honest communication about important issues such as money, property, and family—skills essential to any successful marriage.
A word of advice: premarital counseling by an experienced mar-riage and family therapist can go a long way in helping couples work through these issues in a safe, collaborative environment. Once the issues have been worked through and the couple feels comfortable with the basics of the agreement, only then should attorneys be brought in to iron out the legal details of the agree-ment.
Of course, whether a prenup is right for you is a very personal choice. But prenups are not just for celebrities or the ultra wealthy. They can be a highly beneficial communication tool that can lay the foundation for a strong, and healthy marriage.
A Different Kind of Valentine:
How Prenups Can Enhance Your Love LifeAttorney RobRoy Platt limits his practice to estate planning, asset protection, and elder
law. He is the founding chair of the Utah State Bar Elder Law Section, and is an active
member of the Bar’s Estate Planning Section, the Utah Valley Estate Planning Council,
and the National Planned Giving Council. RobRoy welcomes your questions—you may
reach him at [email protected] or (801) 769-1313.
22 |
8 Unbelievable Celebrity Prenups
Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air—explode softly—and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth—boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn’t go cheap, either—not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.
–Robert Fulghum
$5000 a month for shopping. $15 million if they stay together for three years. $3 million for each year the couple stays mar-ried.
Khloe needs $5000 a month for shopping—Recently, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom ironed out the details of their prenup. Khloe asked for quite a bit, including $5000 a month for shopping, $25,000 a month for support, and season court-side tickets to the Lakers for her whole family. I guess she wants to keep a front-row eye on her husband should they ever split.
That’s $5 million a year—When Russell Crowe married Danielle Spencer in 2003, reports surfaced that Spencer would receive a minimum of $15 million if the couple stayed married for at least 3 years. They also have an agreement for creating a $3 mil-lion trust for each kid they have together. For now, the couple is still together.
Say no to drugs—Country music star Keith Urban will receive $640,000 for every year he remains married to Nicole Kidman should they get divorced. But wait, there’s a stipulation. Urban can’t relapse and use drugs again. If he does, he can kiss that settlement goodbye.
Where’d that napkin go?—Steven Spielberg was forced to pay his
first wife $100 million after their divorce. Spielberg claimed they had a prenup written on a napkin, but the judge didn’t buy it.
Cruising toward a pay day—Katie Holmes is said to earn $3 mil-lion for each year she stays married to Tom Cruise. After 11 years of marriage, this is voided and Holmes is entitled to half of Cruise’s fortune.
Want to sleep with another woman? Pay me—Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards had one of the messiest and most publicized Hollywood divorces in recent history. The wildest thing to come of it? Denise had a clause that gave her a $4 million bo-nus if Sheen ever cheated on her.
The biggest mistake is not getting a prenup at all—Before marrying Tom Arnold, Roseanne Barr fired her attorney for recommend-ing she get a prenup. She was so in love that she was sure they would never get divorced. Fast forward four years and Arnold was collecting $50 million from Roseanne. Oops!
But we aren’t even married!—Rumor has it that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie—despite the fact they’re not married—have signed a prenup that ensures Jolie maintains custody of all the kids should they split up.
http://nakedlaw.avvo.com/
Trusts
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5532 Lillehammer Lane, Suite 100Park City, Utah 84098Phone: (435) 658-3366Fax: (435) 658-1441e-mail: [email protected]
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February 2011 | 25
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BOOMER GAMERSFor most people, the concept of a “Baby Boomer Gamer” seems to be an oxymoron. Yet an increasing number of studies are beginning to paint a different picture, with women over forty repeatedly outpacing all other groups as the fastest growing gamer population. This is just one of many indicators that the impact of the Baby Boomer population on the gaming landscape is growing.
Nintendo partnered with Dr. Ryuta Kawashima, a neurosci-ence researcher at Tohoku University who discovered a correlation between reduced symptoms of dementia and other age-related brain disorders and playing certain types of mentally challenging games.
Boomers typically prefer these mentally challenging game to the high adventure reflex games and often play games with their younger grandchildren that are more adventure/story and less action-oriented
Among the online gaming sites, there are those specific to the baby boomers including winster.com, theoldergamers.com (TOG) and gameboomers.com. On other gam-ing sites, you are likely to find games created specifically for the boomer gamer (Boom Boom Boomer and The Boomer Man).
All past issues of Utah Boomers Magazine
are archived in a downloadable format on
www.utahboomersmagazine.com
Remember your mother pulling up a kitchen chair and exercising to the commands of Jack LaLanne?
He brought fitness to the females of the 50’s before fitness was popular.
Jack LaLanne died January 23 at the age of 96.
26 |
Whether you are in a new relationship or have been married for decades, time spent to-gether is important to keep the relationship alive. It is easy, after all, to grow apart, easing
into complacency. You have full time jobs, kids and parents to care for, and other commitments that force you to put your own needs on the back burner. Professionals will tell you the way to rekindle and strengthen your relationship is to spend quality time together—relearning communication skills. What better way than to plan a valentine getaway for two?
Close to HomeIf you can’t take time to go far, many local hotels have Val-entine’s Day specials. The Hotel Monaco has two romance packages. Their Don’t Come A Knockin’, (kind of reminds you of the 70s) package, includes fuzzy handcuffs! If that’s a bit risque, they offer the Wine Me, Dine Me romance package that includes a daily $50 food and beverage credit, to dine in style, chocolate covered strawberries, champagne or cider delivered to your room.
Not to be outdone, The Peery Hotel offers a romance pack-age that includes a 30 minute carriage ride through downtown Salt Lake, a $50 food credit to the Macaroni Grill and cham-pagne or cider delivered to your room.
These are within walking distance of at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, where African Drums will be playing February 12, the Capitol Theatre where you can watch Ballet West’s Sleeping Beauty or Abravenel Hall where guest pianist Joyce Yang will perform Stravinsky’s Song of the Nightingale, Shostakovich’s, Piano Concerto No. 1 and Bartók’s Concerto for Orchestra with the Utah Symphony on February 12. If a little violence stirs your blood, there’s always Confrontation at the Complex.
Up North, you’ll find The Alaskan Inn Bed & Breakfast. Located up Ogden Canyon is a tranquil property with arctic-inspired themed suites and cabins. Their package, “Rest & Romance” includes fresh rose petals leading from door to bedroom, 6 Roses in a vase or a medium treat basket (popcorn and movie treats) and 6 chocolate covered strawberries, and an in-room massage for two. Heaven.
If you’d rather have a ski weekend, Park City’s Goldener Hirsch Inn has recently undergone a complete renovation of all 20 rooms and suites along with many of the common areas. All guest rooms offer the finest in travertine showers and sunken bathtubs. Most have private balconies and wood burning fireplaces. Their two night ski package includes two or more night’s lodging, two full day ski passes at Deer Valley, per person and a daily European breakfast buffet each morning. If your muscles get sore from all that skiing, you can order up an in room couples massage.
Road TripCedar City offers romance at the bed and breakfast—The Garden Cottage. In keeping with the name, the cottage is surrounded by gardens and the names of rooms, the flowers
www.goldenerhirschinn.com
February 2011 | 27
within. You can reserve the Rose Room, Hollyhock Room, and Lilac Room, to name just a few. They offer A delicious full breakfast served on fine china each morning at 8:30 with savories and sweets is quiche, fruit, home-baked breads, juice or smoothies, coffee, tea, hot chocolate and hot cider. Normally, closed for the winter, they open for the weekend of February 4th and 5th for the performance of Love Letters—a fund raiser for the Shakespeare Festival.
Further South, St. George and Mesquite has many properties that could claim romance (see Leaving Winter Behind, December Utah Boomers Magazine). Famous for spas, golf, hiking, there is no short-age of getaway potential.
Short Flight AwayIf Bora Bora is out of the question and your idea of romance is being near the ocean, there are plenty of quick getaways—just a short flight away.
Twenty-five miles northwest of Seattle is Widbey Island. This sea-side hamlet complete with bookstores, art galleries, specialty food shops, and unique boutiques has something for every traveler. The Inn at Langley offers a weekend retreat that includes two nights in a waterfront guest room, a six course inner for two, bottle of
Top 10 Most Romantic Hotels in UtahAccording to Gayot.com, the following are the 10 most romantic hotels in Utah listed in alphabetical order:
Alaskan Inn Bed & Breakfast 435 Ogden Canyon Road, OgdenRustic, romantic suites nestled in the mountains.
Angel House Inn 713 Norfolk Avenue, Park CityA lovely slope-side bed & breakfast decorated with gos-samer angels.
Anniversary Inn Salt City Jail 460 S. 1000 East, Salt Lake CityLuxurious, themed suites for a celebratory getaway.
Ava House Inn & Spa 278 N. 100 West, St. GeorgeUnderstated Victorian style and lots of memorabilia.
Goldener Hirsch Inn 7570 Royal Street East, Park City, UT 84060An exquisitely elegant ski-in/ski-out inn in Deer Valley.
The Grand America Hotel 555 S. Main Street, Salt Lake CityA nod to old world style in the heart of downtown.
Hotel Monaco Salt Lake City 15 W. 200 South, Salt Lake CityThe comforts of home at a premier Salt Lake City bou-tique hotel.
Peery Hotel 110 W. Broadway, Salt Lake CityA historic downtown hotel offering boutique style at its best.
Silver Queen Hotel 632 Main Street, Park CityA small, hip hotel on historic Main Street.
Stein Eriksen Lodge 7700 Stein Way, Park CityPark City’s most luxurious hotel, offering classic lodge style.
February 2011 | 27
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wine and a steam bath and two sixty-minute massages at Spa Essencia. Every oversized guestroom features epic 180-degree waterfront views, creating a personal refuge with its use of space, oversized jetted tub and fireplace.
One hour north of San Francisco is a quaint village of In-verness. Manka’s Inverness Lodge has been voted one of the top 50 most romantic getaways. Located on the shore of Tomales Bay amidst white cliffs, 80,000 acres of parkland, pris-tine beaches, ridges forested in douglas fir, laurel, and redwoods. Miles of trails give hikers and bikers freedom to find their own hidden spot. Two thousand acres of Audubon Nature Reserve. The numerous beaches provide for swimming, surfing, kayak-ing, and relaxing in the dunes. Dramatic scenery, whale watch-ing, horseback riding. Frommers review calls it terribly roman-tic in a Jack London-ish sort of way, and tastefully done.
If these locations don’t offer enough water, you can take a quick 3 or 4 night Baja cruise from ports of call in Long Beach or San Diego. Cabo San Lucas, a once sleepy fishing town lo-cated on the southern tip of the Baja California Peninsula, into one of the most popular resort destinations in Mexico. Rolling sand dunes and hidden coves dot a countryside ringed by some of the most famous and often-photographed rock formations in the world. These short cruises are quite inexpensive and provide solitude and romance galore.
So, we’ve provided some options—the rest is up to you. Enjoy!
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Conveniently located just across from theUtah Shakespearean Festival
Open for Shakespeare Festival’s Love Letters February 4 & 5
Breakfast Provided
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AdvocacyAARP of Utah
801.561.1037Utah Dept of Aging and Adult Services (DAAS)Phone: 801.538.3991www.hsdaas.utah.gov/
Utah State Courts Estate Planning & Probatewww.utcourts.gov/howto/wills/Phone: 801.578.3800
Social Security Administration1.800.772.1213www.ssa.gov
SAGE Utah Services & Advocacy for GLBTQ Elderswww.glccu.com/programs/lgbtq-elders-50
Dental Services
Employment Services
Legal ServicesUtah Legal Services ................800.662.4245
Financial Services
Healthcare ResourcesAlzheimer’s Association of Utah801.265.1944
American Cancer Society of Utah801.483.1500
American Chronic Pain Association800.533.3231
American Diabetes Association-Utah801.363.3024
George E. WahlenDepartment of Veterans AffairsMedical Center500 Foothill DriveSalt Lake City, Utah 84148 Phone: 801.582.1565
Pet Services
Respite CareMedical Home Portalwww.medicalhomeportal.org
CHTOPChapel Hill Training-Outreach Programchtop.org/ARCH/National-Respite-Locator.html
helpwithmyparents.org
Connecting caregivers and professionals
Senior CentersMost Senior Centers supply transportation and meals. They are open Monday through Friday, and the hours varies. Call your center for times.
Davis CountyAutumn Glow Center81 East CenterKaysville, UT 84037Phone: 801.544.1235
Golden Years Center726 South 100 EastBountiful, UT 84010Phone: 801.295.3479
Heritage Center140 East CenterClearfield, UT 84015Phone: 801. 773.7065
Salt Lake CountyColumbus Senior Center2531 South 400 EastSalt Lake City, UT 84115Phone: 801.412.3295
Draper Senior Center12350 South 800 EastDraper, UT 84020Phone: 801.572.6342
Eddie P. Mayne Kearns Senior Center4851 West 4715 SouthSalt Lake City, UT 84118Phone: 801.965.9183
Friendly Neighborhood Center1992 South 200 EastSalt Lake City, UT 84115Phone: 801.468.2781
Harman Senior Recreation Center4090 South 3600 WestWest Valley City, UT 84119Phone: 801.965.5822
Kearns Senior Center4850 West 4715 SouthSalt Lake City, UT 84118Phone: 801.965.9183
Liberty City Center251 East 700 SouthSalt Lake City, UT 84111Phone: 801.532.5079
Magna Center9228 West 2700 SouthMagna, UT 84044Phone: 801.250.0692
Midvale Senior Center350 West Park Street 7610 S)Midvale, UT 84047Phone: 801.566.6590
Mount Olympus Senior Center1635 East Murray Holladay RoadSalt Lake City, UT 84117Phone: 801.274.1710
River’s Bend Senior Center300 North 1300 WestSalt Lake City, UT 84116Phone: 801.596.0208
Riverton Senior Center12891 South Redwood RoadRiverton, UT 84065Phone: 801.254.7609
Sandy Senior Center9310 South 1300 EastSandy, UT 84094Phone: 801.561.3265
South Jordan Senior Center10778 South Redwood RoadSouth Jordan, UT 84095Phone: 801.302.1222
Sunday Anderson Westside Senior Center868 West 900 SouthSalt Lake City, UT 84104Phone: 801.538.2092
Taylorsville Senior Citizen Center4743 South Plymouth View Dr.Taylorsville, UT 84123Phone: 801.293.8340
Tenth East Senior Center237 South 1000 EastSalt Lake City, UT 84102Phone: 801.538.2084
West Jordan Center8025 South 2200 WestWest Jordan, UT 84088Phone: 801.561.7320
Washington CountyCouncil on Aging www.washco.utah.gov/contactThe Washington County Council on Aging provides services for senior citizens 60 and older. These include classes (pottery, painting, aerobics, yoga, square dancing, and computer training) tax assistance during tax season and other services. Nutrition is a main focus of the senior centers. In-house meals are served as well as Meals on Wheels. The following centers are sup-ported in part through the donations of those patrons who use the facilities.
Gayle & Mary Aldred Senior Center245 North 200 WestSt. George , UT 84770435.634 . 5743
Washington County Senior Citizens150 East 100 South StreetEnterprise, UT 84725435.878.2557
Hurricane Senior Citizens Center95 N 300 WHurricane, UT 84737435.635.2089
VolunteeringUtah State ParksVolunteer Coordinator1594 W North Temple, 116Salt Lake City, UT 84116(801) [email protected]
The Nature Conservancy in Utahwww.nature.org/wherewework/northamer-ica/states/utah/volunteer/
Volunteer Matchwww.volunteermatch.org/
United Waywww.unitedwayucv.org/volunteer/
Utah Commission on Volunteersvolunteers.utah.gov/
Red Butte Garden Call 801-585-5688
No More Homeless Pets in Utah8029 South 700 EastSandy, UT 84070 801-432-2124
To include your services in this space call Traci Wood at 801.201.5087
Resources
February 2011 | 31
February EventsFebruary 1Heart Attack and Stroke: What You Need to Know!Columbus Library2530 South 500 East, Salt Lake CityPhone: (801) 944-7545
February 2–February 9African Art Class for AdultsU of U Lifelong LearningUniversity of Utah Campus Marcia & John Price Museum Building, Salt Lake City6–8 pm$65
February 3Remembering the Poetry of Tennes-see Williams: A Public Reading4th Floor Conference RoomMain Library, Salt Lake City6:00 pm–8:00 pmFree
February 3–February 6Western Hunting and Conservation ExpoSalt Palace Convention Center100 South West Temple, Salt Lake City10 am–7 pm$20 ($10 discount coupons at Cabela’s)
February 4–February 6Love LettersRandall L. Jones Theater300 W. University Blvd, Cedar City1-800-PLAYTIX$25 and $45
February 4–February 12A Night of BroadwaySCERA Center for the Arts745 S South State, Orem801.225.2787$10 Adult, $8 Child (age 3-11) $8 Senior (age 65+)
February 5Centerville Trail HikesMeet at the top of 100SDeuel Creek850 E 100 S, Centerville801.298.3021
Free
February 5Annual Bald Eagle DayFountain Green Fish HatcheryOff Highway 89, Fountain Greenwww.utahoutdooractivities.com/baldeagleday.html
February 7World Affairs Lecture SeriesVieve Gore Concert Hall, Westminster College1840 South 1300 East, Salt Lake City7–9 pmFree
February 8Writing for Change: Community Writing EventSalt Lake City Public Library Downtown210 E 400 South, Salt Lake City801.957.21921$ donation
February 9Love + $West Jordan City Hall8000 S Redwood Road, 1st Floor Community Room, Salt Lake City6:30–7:30 pm801.468.3179Free
February 9Healthy Heart, Healthy Conflict— Couple’s Cooking ClassSalt Lake County Government CenterUSU Extension2001 S. State Street, South Building, S-1007/8, Salt Lake City801.468.31796:30–8:30 pm$10 per couple
February 11–February 12Romeo & Juliet Dinner TheatreThe Old Spaghetti Factory575 E University Pkwy, Suite A-2, Orem801.262.5083$15 for adults, $8 for children under 12
February 12Regency Romance BallMasonic Temple650 East South Temple Salt Lake City7:00 pm –12:00 am$20 - $50
February 17–February 19Night at the MuseumJohn Hutchings Museum55 North Center St, Lehi5 pm to 8 pm801.768.7180$3 per person
February 18–March 15“Unmistakable Twist” Fred Calleri’s One Man ShowGallery MAR580 Main Street, Park City435.649.3001Free
February 19Moonlight Snowshoe Hike—Rock CliffJordanelle State Park—Rock Cliff Nature Center2500 W State Route 32. East end of Jordanelle St Park, Francis7 pm–10 pmwww.stateparks.utah.gov
February 25Park City Gallery Stroll Main Street, Park City6 pm–9 pm435.649.3001
February 26Dog Town Half Marathon K9–9K2350 N Coral Canyon Blvd, Washington8:30 am to 2:00 pmwww.washingtoncity.org/run $40 1/2 Marathon, $25 9K
To have your event printed in this section, email to www.info.com by the 15th of the month prior to the issue month.
Bring your little chicks over to Le Jardin to warm up during the winter bluesand see amazing tropical birds and owls from Tracy Aviary. Enjoy activities for the whole family, such as face painting, bird crafts and LIVE BIRDS.Get a sneak peek at our plans for a new Owl Forest opening in Spring2011. This event is free but donations are always welcome.Visit www.tracyaviary.org for details.
A Trip to the Tropics
with
Le Jardin at The Rose Shop
&
Saturday, February 26, 20111:00 – 3:30 PM10600 South 1910 East in Sandy101
Picasso the Blue-and-Gold Macaw