fatherhood 1 graeme russell psychology department macquarie university

Fatherhood1

Fatherhood

Graeme Russell

Psychology Department

Macquarie University

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Overview

Introduction» The context of my presentation

» Two fundamental propositions Views about fatherhood: self-reflection Summary of major findings

» Involvement

» Impact

» Views of fathers

» Interventions Examples of policy and practice What next?

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Two critical processes

Influence of fathering on fathers– Often ignored– But critical pathway to change

Influence of fathers on children and families– This is where we tend to focus our attention– Common points of discussion:

Show me that the impact on children is not negative Show me that the impact on children is positive Show me that fathers are essential

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My fundamental propositions

Begin with the assumption that fathers and fathering are critical components of healthy family functioning» We don’t need to justify this by “showing . . .”» Children, families, fathers, mothers know this!

Fatherhood, like motherhood, is expressed in a diversity of ways. Need a better understanding of this diversity» Culture » Family structure (separation, step fathers, fragile families)» Patterns of connection (fathering at a distance) etc

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Evaluating our own views about fathersQuestions to ask

What are the major difficulties and challenges experienced by fathers today?

How is being a father today different from the experiences of the previous generation of fathers?

What is a “good” father? What assumptions do I have about fathers? What can governments, institutions and practitioners do to

encourage and sustain father-inclusive research, policy making and practice?

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The diversity of family life

Parents are people too. Diversity of family contexts lead to “good”

outcomes All children are different What makes a difference?

» Availability/accessibility (implies balance)» Responsibility & Commitment (implies follow-through)» Acceptance (implies attitude and behaviour)

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The diversity of issues for fathers today

Adjusting to changed expectations» Of self Of others

Being a “good enough father” Taking responsibility Not taking responsibility Power, anger, violence, abuse Balancing distance and intimacy (being a friend?) Fathers as primary caregivers Gender issues

» Sons and daughters» Partner

Separation and divorce (suicide) Staying connected to children: A significant number are not connected Balancing work/career and family

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Summary of research findings

(Michael Lamb)

Fathers and mothers seem to influence their children in similar rather than dissimilar ways. The differences between mothers and fathers appear much less important than the similarities

The characteristics of individual fathers -- such as their masculinity, intellect -- are much less important, formatively speaking, than are the characteristics of the relationships that they have established with their children» This is true for fathers who live and are separated (day-to-day interaction

is important for this) “Individual relationships are now often seen as less influential than the

family context. . . . The absence of familial hostility is the most consistent correlate of child adjustment, whereas marital conflict is the most consistent and reliable correlate of child maladjustment.”

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Lamb conclusions continued

Fathers play multiple roles in the family and their success in all these diverse roles influences the ways in which they affect their children’s adjustment and development

The nature of paternal influences may vary substantially depending on individual and cultural values

There is no single “father’s role” to which all fathers should aspire. Rather, a successful father, as defined in terms of his children’s development, is one whose role performance matches the demands and prescriptions of his socio-cultural and familial context. This means that high paternal involvement may have positive effects in some circumstances and negative effects in others. The same is true of low paternal involvement

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Major conclusions: Lewis & Warina sample . .

Fathers have always been involved with their children. Some men have always been reported as highly involved

Fathers are the main carers of children when mothers are working Most men are neither superdads nor absentee fathers. There are

large variations in what fathers do in families Most men say they enjoy having close relationships with their

children. Fathers from a diversity of social and cultural backgrounds say that fathering is the most important part of their lives.

A parent’s gender is far less important in affecting child development than broader qualities such as warmth, kindness, setting limits

It is beneficial to a young child to be raised by more than one carer.

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Lewis & Warin continued

Involvement around the time of the birth» Many men “nest build”» Fathers who attend baby-care courses are

more likely to take on more care later» Men feel deeply moved by the experience of

childbirth» Mothers report fathers are their main source of

support after the birth

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Babies and pre-school children» Ability to cope with the demands of a new baby depends on the quality of

the relationship between the mother and father (true for men and women)

» There are no differences between men’s and women’s patterns of emotional arousal in response to their newborn

» Fathers can be just as skilful at caring for babies as mothers

» Fathers are as sensitive and responsive to their young children as mothers are

» Babies become attached to both fathers and mothers -- depends on responding sensitively and providing fun and playful stimulation

» Quality of time more important than quantity -- but . . .

» Fathers and mothers give their children the same amount of affection

» Babies usually “bond” as easily with fathers as with mothers

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Young children» Fathers engage more in play» Some studies suggest that fathers help children

develop social skills» Fathers often respond differently to sons and daughters

-- engage in more physical play with sons» Fathers and mothers critical for development of gender

identity -- but much is absorbed through wider culture

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Older children» Higher levels of guidance and information from fathers linked to

children reporting themselves to be more industrious, productive and caring members of society.

» Adults with a strong commitment to others often report their fathers had been particularly influential on them

» Children whose fathers offered kindness, care and warmth during primary school years, more likely to do well at secondary school

» When fathers are involved with their children before age 11, children more likely to escape having a criminal record by age 21

» Despite public discourse, no evidence that father involvement is particularly beneficial to boys.

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Fatherhood in Australia(1000 random

sample+spouses+children+professionals)

The bar has been lifted:» Fathers expect more of themselves + others do too!! (children +

spouses + community).

Most fathers have got the message that they are important to their children.» both to their sons and their daughters!

Fathers of today spend more time (alone) with and are closer to their children than fathers of the previous generation» US and European data indicated increase in time accessible and

engagement (active interaction)

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Fatherhood in AustraliaInfluence and competence

Feel have most influence over» Child’s self-control/self-discipline» Attitudes and values

Feel most important aspect of fathering» Being accessible to children» Guiding and teaching children» Providing income/economic security» Providing emotional support to children

Competence and commitment» 71% Feel very competent as a father» 97% say have a strong commitment to role as a father

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Fatherhood in AustraliaThe challenges!

Very satisfied with my role as father: 61% Do not have enough time for myself: 54% On average, would prefer to work

10 hours less than current 47 hours/week. Job and family life interfere with each other: 53% Very satisfied with life: 38% Workload/work commitments = major barrier to being involved

as a parent. Greatest needs as a father:

» Workplace flexibility + support» Better access to advice/education

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Fatherhood and social policy?

Recent Fatherhood Summit in the UK» Burgess & Russell (2003)

Analysis of policies in various countries in terms of» Public discourse, eg., the gender contract» Employment

– Taxation– Parental leave, paternity leave, family leave, flexible work practices, workplace

culture etc

» Health: child birth, child health, male health etc» Education» Separation and divorce» Vulnerable children

Common theme: invisibility of fathers

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Two examples of working with fathers

Key themes:» Inclusiveness -- community and at workplace» Working with fathers where they are

Men in families» Antenatal and birth

Men at work

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Intentions of Men in Families

Recognise the importance of fathers to children and advantages of increasing both the motivation and skills of men to contribute positively to the well-being of their children.

Aims to build upon networks established in antenatal classes The promotion of positive parenting and relationship skills through

cooperative learning To act as an advocate for men Enhances the adoption of appropriate support services Key interventions:

» Content and process in antenatal classes» “I’m a dad” bag etc.» On-going support and networking

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The views of fathers QuickTime™ and aGraphics decompressorare needed to see this picture.

Understand my child

Feel confident as a parent

Feel competent as a parent

Satisfied as a parent

Extremely satisfied with relationship with child

Satisfied with family life

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

7083

6388

5580

6376

4056

7390

Pre Post

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What might have made a difference?

QuickTime™ and aGraphics decompressorare needed to see this picture.

Received Parentalk newsletter

Maintained contact with group members

Attended reunion

Message that fathers important from I'm a dad bag

Men in families session in antenatal classes effective

Antenatal classes effective in preparing me to be a parent

Extremely satisfied with antenatal classes

Antenatal classes addressed my needs "a lot"

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

87

38

66

80

66

1741

726

2242

Pre Post

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Men at workThe workplace as an opportunity

An opportunity to engage fathers where they are: psychologically and physically

Many organisations have work/life programs but few:» Approach in an integrated way» Address broader issues of personal and relationship well-being» Focus on men/fathers

Programs aligned with diversity, gender equity Note recent developments: programs for separated

fathers in the workplace: “Staying connected”

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Men at WorkWorking with men where they are!

Designed on the basis of:» Our knowledge of the process of change

– For individuals, families, organisations

» Research findings on men, health, gender equity, relationships, nature of work, organisations.

Evaluated» Pre, post, six months later

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The program?

Groups: 10 to 12 Session structure flexible:

» 4 x half-days

» Two days

Five modules» Work/life balance

» Physical and psychological health

» Relationships (. . . at work)

» Fathering and mentoring

» Leading work/life: policy and practice

Many different processes used

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Time Diary

T: Transition Time (Yellow) I: Individual Time with Children (Red) M: Marital, couple time (Green) E: Everyone time (Orange) S: Self Time (Brown)

Work Time: (Blue)

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Fatherhood:Challenges and Strengths

Challenges Taking the perspective of the child Communication Keeping work in perspective Being consistent; treating children the same Not taking sides in family tension Spending time Staying connected with your children Containing anger and being patient Doing what you say you will do Containing your expectations How to treat boys vs girls. Co-parenting; working things out with your

partner.

Strengths Being able to say “I love you” to my

children Showing affection Being open and available Being approachable Knowing my children; having some

common ground Being a good teacher Believing in my children; accepting them

for who they are Being calm and relaxed Knowing that no one is perfect Being truthful.

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Program is an enabler of outcomes for individuals, families and workplace

Examples of workplace outcomes:» Sustainable individual performance

– Energy and effectiveness– Resilience

» Relationship skills:– Gender relationships – Support and Team building– Performance management

» Mentoring» Leadership» Effective work/life and diversity strategies

All enablers of sustainable organisational performance

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Program Impact:Understanding of issues


Great deal or complete understanding of the impact

work+family/life issues have on organisational outcomes

Great deal or complete understanding of the impact work+family/life issues have on relationship well-being

Great deal or complete understanding of the impact work+family/life issues have on personal well-being

Great deal or complete understanding of work+family/life needs of men

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

16

44

21

72

20

74

12

65

Pre Post

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Program Impact:Have the knowledge and skills to . .

. QuickTime™ and aGraphics decompressorare needed to see this picture.

Ensure that your work area has

an effective work+family/life strategy

Be an effective father

Have a high quality relationship with children

Have a high quality relationship with spouse/partner

Have a high level of personal well-being

Achieve a balance between work+family/life needs

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

1434

3253

3457

3156

2450

1865

Pre Post

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Program Impact:Changes in behaviour


Changed behaviour in relation to workgroup

Changed behaviour at work to increase job effectiveness

Changed behaviour to improve relationship with children

Changed behaviour to improve relationship with spouse/partner

Changed behaviour at work to reduce negative impact on family/personal life

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

42 22

44 23

41 38

51 35

50 34

Some change

Fair amount/great deal of change

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The group processQuickTime™ and aGraphics decompressorare needed to see this picture.

Talked about the relationship of self to another

Honestly discussed opinions and feelings, even if threatening or unpopular

Tried out a behaviour that is new or acknowledged to be different from the past

Talked about my own feelings and behaviour

Talked about my weaknesses

Disclosed true personal feelings, even if threatened or unpopular

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

84

83

71

97

77

92

% Yes

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MADNESS for Men

Spend one on one time with my wife on a regular basis and jog two times a week

Take my wife out to dinner once a month; arrange for my parents to look after the children

Walk with my wife daily Talk to my wife daily when I get home Take my family on a weekend outing Focus on my 21 year old son; go out to

club with him once a week for a few beers.

Talk to my daughter at bedtime every night; ask her about her day

Take more of an interest in nutrition and reduce fat intake

Eat fish three times a week Increase black time -- phone a friend

each evening; do something with a friend on weekends

Read 30 minutes a night Commit to better work hours; go home

early at least 3 days a week Become more engaged in non-work

stuff; take more control over my diet at home -- cook more

Take the initiative to plan family social activities -- take more responsibility

Learn to switch in (vs switch out)

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Madness for men

Spend quality time with my wife, Wed, Thurs and Frid evenings

Have a date with my wife every Wednesday night

Finish doing family goals with my wife

Spend half an hour each morning having a cuppa and talk to my wife.

Plan local beach trip with my children three times a week

Learn to laugh together Walk out of the place at 4 every

day and convince my wife she should walk out at 5 rather than 6.

Take a day off for the relationship in next four weeks. Agree on a suitable day with my wife

Reduce chaos and stress at work: (a) make sure I take a lunch break and (b) delegate things

Get back into bike riding: Sundays 1.5 hrs

Lose 10 k in 10 weeks Jog every morning for 30 min

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10 ways for an organisation to become more father friendly

Encourage fathers to combine their careers with their family commitments by introducing flexible working conditions (that fathers feel comfortable in using).

Develop a Working Fathers Forum to get fathers to talk openly about issues that affect their lives. Provide advice and information about being a father.

Provide paid parental leave + actively encourage men to use this leave. In company newsletters, highlight fathers who take leave.

Introduce a Dad's Day at work: Encourage fathers to bring their children to see what they do.

Encourage opportunities for fathers to do some of their work from home.

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10 ways continued

Encourage effective role models at the top: encourage management to take their fathering responsibilities seriously.

Enjoy the benefits of employing men who have a strong commitment to families, community, as well as their career.

Frame your company's profile as a father friendly employer in recruiting and advertising.

Consider the different needs of fathers at different stages of their careers and provide career flexibility.

Look for opportunities to affirm the role of fathers. Establish links with community organisations that focus on positive approaches to fatherhood.

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What next?Critically review assumptions and

presumptions

Fatherhood is expressed in a diversity of ways. Both women and men have the potential to be

competent parents The majority of fathers have strong feelings

towards their children. Under most circumstances children actively seek

to know, identify with and have acceptance from their fathers, and benefit from fathers reciprocating in this relationship.

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What next:

For research» Develop father-inclusive theoretical and empirical models

– Take account of this in the review process

For the purposes of policy and practice: Presume that:» Mothers and fathers have shared responsibility for children

» Mothers and fathers have equal rights to give and receive care and to have access to paid employment

» Balance between paid work, family involvement and intimacy in relationships has potential benefits for the well-being of fathers, families and the community

» Develop policies and practices that are– inclusive of fathers– enable and sustain father-involvement and connections with children

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What next?For service provision and practice

Develop father-inclusive approaches Focus on professional development Identify the needs of fathers Work with fathers where they are:

» Physically, psychologically, feelings» Celebrate and affirm; reflect, share and learn

Acknowledge that some fathers can experience difficulties in being assertive and finding the space to be involved in change

Expect that fathers value sharing their concerns with other fathers. Focus on "what is in it for fathers?” (not guilt!) Acknowledge that many fathers have accepted the challenge!

fatherhood 1 graeme russell psychology department macquarie university

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