Family TiesBy Laura Sheppard

Family Trip to Maui, Hawaii

In 2003, my mom, dad, brother, and I took a two week family trip to Maui, Hawaii. We read by the pool, drank Pina Coladas, went parasailing, drove the Road to Hana, attended a Luau, snorkeled in the ocean, and spent fourteen days laughing together.

THE Jewelry Store

Eating dinner at my favorite Hawaii restaurant, Cheeseburger in Paradise, was the end to the perfect night.  After dinner, we walked up and down the streets of Lahina and stopped in some of the stores.  We spent a great deal of time in a jewelry store where jewelry designers created jewelry for the stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, and Nicole Kidman. 

The Necklace

We giggled as we put on the beautiful necklaces, earrings, and bracelets.  When the store owner put on my necklace created for Jennifer Aniston that had thin teal ribbon with seven oval shaped stones, I fell in love with it.  It brought out the blue in my eyes and looked stunning with my shirt.  The necklace could either be worn with a casual outfit for the weekend, or could be fancier for a night out.  Either way, I wanted the necklace.  After much thought, I decided to not buy it since I was a poor college student at the time.  But I couldn't stop thinking or talking about the necklace for the rest of the vacation.

My 20th Birthday

Six months later, it was my twentieth birthday.  My family drove to East Lansing to celebrate.  After singing and eating dessert, my mom pulled out a small box.  I tried to guess what was inside of it, but I couldn't figure it out.  Finally, I opened the box and was shocked to find the teal necklace I found on the Hawaiian streets months ago.  I was excited that my mom and dad bought it later that week in Maui when I was thought they were at the grocery store.  Today I wear the necklace to work, on the weekends, and nights out in downtown Atlanta.  Like me, the necklace is very flexible and can adapt to the current situation.  When I wear it, I always think of my family and our perfect Hawaiian vacation.

A Family Tradition

It was December 20, 2005.  Mimi, my grandma, asked if my best friend, Krista, my mom, and I could come over to help make the Dobos Torte for Christmas.  The Dobos Torte is a traditional dessert Mimi learned how to make when working for a Jewish bakery over fifty years earlier.  The torte takes about four hours to make and a lot of patience to create the seven layer almond flavored cake.  I was excited to learn how to make the dessert, help with the Christmas dinner, and spend the afternoon with Mimi. 

Made With Love

When we got to her house, Mimi started to weigh all the ingredients on a scale (measuring cups could not be used), while Krista and I began cracking eggs and blending ingredients.  After creating the white fluffy meringue, I started to fold in the almond flavored dough with a wooden spoon.  Mimi laughed, took the spoon away, and put my hands straight into the gooey mixture.  “It’s much better when it’s made with love,” she explained.  After it was all mixed and our hands, arms, and shirts were covered in batter, Mimi put globs of the mixture onto large cake pans.  Using her special flat spatula, we carefully spread the mixture around evenly.  While the batter baked, we began making the chocolate butter cream frosting.

The Perfect Dobos Torte

As the cakes came out of the oven, we watched in awe as Mimi carefully took out the paper-thin cakes from the pans and cut them into rectangles.  She laid down a layer of cake, and we spread a thin layer of frosting using her special spatula.  This continued until there were seven layers of cake piled between layers of frosting.  To finish the torte, Mimi instructed me to frost the whole rectangular torte with the rest of the frosting.  The torte looked magnificent. 

Christmas Eve

When it was time to serve the almond flavored dessert on Christmas Eve, a small nativity scene was placed on top of the cake.  All twenty grandchildren gathered around to sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus.  After the youngest blew out the candle, Mimi sliced the first piece of torte.  The layers that alternated cake and frosting were beautiful.  That was the best Dobos Torte I have eaten as it was made with love, teaching, and family tradition.

The Family Tradition Continues

Six months later, Mimi passed away unexpectedly.  I still miss her terribly; she was a wonderful, inspirational grandma, mother, teacher, and friend.  When it was Christmas time, my mom, Krista, and I knew we needed to make the Dobos Torte, it was, after all, a family tradition.  We bought our own flat spatula, went to her house, found her recipe with handwritten notes, and borrowed her pans and scale.  We spent a whole day attempting to create Mimi’s famous dessert.  We cried and laughed as we read her recipe, re-read her recipe, and tried to remember how to make it. 

Mimi’s Christmas Wish

I asked my mom if she thought it was a coincidence that Mimi taught me how to make the Dobos Torte the last time she made it.  My mom said that Mimi somehow knew it would be her last Christmas; she knew the importance of teaching me, yes me out of all the grandchildren, how to create the dessert.  Miraculously, we finished the dessert in seven hours (only three hours more that it took Mimi).  It was beautiful and looked just like Mimi’s.  That Christmas Eve was bittersweet without Mimi.  But my mom, my best friend, and I knew Mimi was with us as we sang Happy Birthday to baby Jesus and ate her Dobos Torte.  We will continue to make the torte with our own flat spatula; it was Mimi’s Christmas wish.

Family

These vignettes illustrate the importance of family in my life. My large family gives me my morals, character, love, friendship, compassion, and strength. They make me who I am; they are my identity.

The Hawaiian Vacation

This vacation is just a small glimpse into memories of my family. I think about all of our vacations and smile fondly. Spending time together playing Euchre (my dad and brother usually win), reading by the pool, kayaking, or just sitting on the front porch are all ways we spend quality time with each other.

The Dobos Torte

The Dobos Torte vignette demonstrates the importance of family traditions and teaching. Mimi knew the importance of teaching me to how to make the Dobos Torte; she wanted the tradition to continue. The Torte is an important tradition each Christmas that helps us pay tribute to Mimi: the best teacher, most compassionate, selfless person I have even known.

Teaching About Families

The Hawaiian Vacation and The Dobos Torte experiences help me be a better teacher. My family is such a large part of my life, that I begin each school year discussing differences and similarities among the different families in our classroom. This gives students the opportunities to learn about each other and the different families. We spend a great deal of time discussing the importance of showing respect to people that are different from us; we celebrate our differences. Students create Venn-Diagrams to visually compare and contrast themselves with a partner and create cutouts to look like them. We also create a bar graph to see the different numbers in each family. I strive to teach students the importance cultural differences though partner activities, literature, and sharing their family experiences.

Teaching about Family TraditionsI love to talk about my past experiences, such as family vacations or spending a special day with my mom cooking. Therefore, I encourage students to write personal narratives about something that has happened to them during Writer’s Workshop. These stories allow us to become a community of learners as we learn about each other. I model by writing about me and encourage students to use their lives to tell us a story. The End of the Workshop Share allows students to teach their peers about their families, traditions, and experiences. We learn about each other and our different identities through small moment personal narratives.

The Meaning of Family

To me, my family consists of different people that are thoughtful, caring, funny, fun to be around, and love me unconditionally. They play a large role in my life as I can always count on them. It is important to teach my students the value of their families. Reading, writing, and research activities help students learn about their families and the importance of being together. Students need to respect families that are different from their own. Family define us.