family connections: parenting your grown children

10

Click here to load reader

Post on 20-Jul-2016

214 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

Fam Proc 22:119-132, 1983

BOOKSReflections On Therapy and Other Essays, by Jay Haley, Washington D.C., The Family Therapy Institute, 1981, 258pp. $19.95 cloth, $13.95 paper.

Reflections on Therapy and Other Essays represents the cumulative work of one of family therapy's pioneer thinkers andprovocateurs. The papers in this volume are classics and belong in every family therapist's library. Many of the papers areessential to a full understanding of the history of the field as well as the evolution of some of the central debates withinfamily therapy. Jay Haley has never been shy about his opinions, and this collection gives the reader a comprehensive viewof his thoughts on the subject of therapy.

The 13 essays are characteristic of Haley's unique style and are published and distributed by Haley's own agency, TheFamily Therapy Institute of Washington, D.C. All of the essays are beautiful examples of his clever, precise way ofcapturing the essences of contexts. Included are such classics as "Towards a Theory of Pathological Systems," "The Familyof the Schizophrenic: A Model System," "The Contributions to Therapy of Milton H. Erickson," "Why a Mental HealthClinic Should Avoid Family Therapy," and "Fourteen Ways to Fall as a Teacher of Family Therapy." All the essaysappeared in other publications but are brought together for the first time in this book.

The papers can be divided into three categories reflecting Haley's various facets. The first third of the volume relates tohis contribution to the project on schizophrenic communication. The second group presents Haley's views on the therapy ofMilton Erickson and Don Jackson and essays on child and behavioral therapies. The final group comprises Haley'sclassical, satirical essays on the practice of family therapy.

Haley's excellent essays on "Behavior Modification" and "In Defense of Child Therapy" highlight the differences betweensystemic and other therapies, as well as their areas of overlap and the limitations of the various therapeutic models. All ofthese essays, along with his own reflections on master therapists, make this a satisfying glimpse into issues of therapy.

Papers on the wisdom of his mentorsGregory Bateson, Don Jackson, and Milton Ericksonall portray Haley's respectand appreciation of their subtle artistry. On the other hand, his satirical essays reveal a deep cynicism about clinicalpractice. The passion of Haley's belief in the creative genius of our masters, side by side with his disbelief in our ability topractice the art, makes an intriguing paradox.

Clöe Madanes, Haley's wife as well as a respected family therapist, writes in her introduction to the book:

The Haley connoisseur will find this book is a new treat, that, throwing a different light on many issues couldencourage him to re-read Haley's other books. Those who read Haley here for the first time will be provoked tothink about human interaction and about therapy in new and unusual ways.

There is wisdom in the recommendation of a wife; who better knows what one has to say than those we love?The initial essay in the book describes the history of the research project on schizophrenia. Haley beautifully portrays the

ideological differences within this pioneer project, which spawned both the double-bind theory of schizophrenia and familysystems theory in general. The story of this project is an excellent piece of scientific journalism. One can feel both thestruggles and affection among the various pioneers in their attempt to grasp the meaning of communication. The evolutionof the project was exciting and Haley not only presents the central ideas of the communication model but places them in aliving history. There are few scientific writers of Haley's caliber who also have pioneered the ideas they portray, vividlymapping contexts into words. Jay Haley joins Arthur Koestler (2, 3) as an artist able to portray the beauty of genius inideas.

One of the interesting bits of intellectual history emerges in the long essay on the history of the communication project. Itilluminates the origins of the current debate on aesthetics versus pragmatics. The discrepant views between Bateson andHaley on the meaning of contexts is at the source of the current debate in this journal (1). As family therapists, we would dowell to understand the origin of this dialogue as revealed in the history of its evolution.

In the essay on the history of the communication project, Haley recounts how one wing of the project, led by Bateson andappropriately called the "higher generalization" wing, wanted to address questions of evolutionary consciousness andawareness. The "behavioral wing," on the other hand, led by Haley, Watzlawick, and Weak-land, wanted the project tofocus on the observable and verifiable aspects of systems. The conflict between the "behavioral" and "highergeneralization" wings of the project was the first appearance of the presently resurging issue in the pages of FamilyProcess. The importance of the debate is that repetitive patterns in the differences between ideas often serve to catalyzecreative movement in a field.

The article concludes with a commentary by Bateson describing his fundamental differences with Haley. Bateson writes:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1

Page 2: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

As I saw it, he [Haley] believed in the validity of the metaphor of "power" in human relations. I believed thenandtoday believe even more stronglythat the myth of power always corrupts because it proposes always a false(though conventional) epistemology. [p. 54]

It is unfortunate that Haley has not yet directly formulated his current thoughts on this fundamental difference in the lightof his experience with Milton Erickson. What is most puzzling in reading this volume is reconciling Haley's commitment tothe power metaphor with his reverential understanding of the aesthetics of artists, such as Erickson. It leaves unansweredthe question of Haley's view of the relationship between power and aesthetics.

In one of the most beautiful, reflective essays in the volume, Haley describes Milton Erickson's therapeutic genius.

The therapy of Erickson, more than that of any other therapist, seems to force us to consider whether the map oflogic is the appropriate one to explain the behavior and dilemmas of human beings. [p. 161]

This quote further reveals the paradoxical nature of Haley's thinking in that his analysis of contexts is known for its focuson the logic of power, which he seems to be questioning when reflecting on Erickson's style. In the same essay Haley goeson to describe Erickson's view of therapy:

He sharply focused on the subject of therapy as an art in itself, and he emphasized the practical skills needed tocarry it out. He was pragmatic and would shift what he did if it was not working. [p. 166]

Haley discusses Erickson's way of working directly with analogical communication through the changing of dreams andfantasies. Erickson worked outside of awareness as a way to reconcile the relationship between aesthetic and pragmatic. Heused his participation with the analogical system of the individual as a way to create pragmatic solutions to problems thatare revealed in the collective unconscious of the system.

Haley has never been known to be a proponent of theories of the unconscious, yet his work with Erickson reflects areverence for the healing aspects of the unconscious. In the essay on Erickson, Haley writes of Erickson's view of theunconscious "as a positive force which held more wisdom than the conscious. If a person just let his unconscious operate, itwould take care of everything in a positive way" (p. 168). One can't help but respect Haley's ability to shift metaphors andappreciate the wisdom in systems other than the ones of his own allegiance. The subtlety of the shifts in Haley's thinking asit evolved with Bateson and Jackson are also beautifully revealed in this volume and show the complexities of his thought.My respect for Haley grew after reading this book.

Whatever his present position may be, this book makes clear his deep struggle with the issue of aesthetics/pragmatics.He teaches us that it is not an either/or issue; both coexist as essentials of therapy. It seems that Haley reveres the aestheticgenius as the source of the pragmatic, while his cynicism reflects a view of therapy as an art with few artists. Haleyseparates art from pragmatics and seems to resign himself to the training of artisans rather than the joy of finding thecreative artists within trainees. This apparent pessimism about the practice of therapy is revealed in his witty views oftherapeutic practice.

Personally, I sometimes find Haley's cynicism grating, and I wish he had as great a respect for the average practitioner ashe does for the artists. Essays like "Fourteen Ways to Fail as a Teacher of Family Therapy," "How to be a MarriageTherapist Without Knowing Practically Anything," cleverly satirize some of the assumptions of therapeutic practice. Theseessays poke fun at some of the sacred therapeutic myths. Humor helps to differentiate contexts and establish flexibleboundaries. Haley serves as the court jester of family therapy, helping us to delineate our own limits by exaggerating ourabsurdities.

Essays entitled "How to Criticize Your Fellow Therapists" and "A Quiz for Young Therapists" are cast in the same mold.Haley addresses some important therapeutic issues through the questioning of therapeutic ideology. Embedded in his humorare such questions as the role of self-reflection in therapy. It is important to remember that the court jester serves animportant function. He is an outside member of the system, sanctioned to laugh at its inside tenants and their secrets. Thatserves as a way to keep them aware and energized. Haley, our court jester, views the absurdities revealed in the interfacebetween family theory and practice, thus stimulating us to greater self-reflection. He has served family therapy nobly bykeeping us aware of the boundaries of our contexts.

REFERENCES

1. Allman, L. R., "The Aesthetic Preference: Overcoming the Pragmatic Error," Fam. Proc., 21, 43-56, 1982. 2. Koestler, A., The Case of the Midwife Toad, New York, Random House, 1971.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2

Page 3: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

3. Koestler, A. and Smythies, J. R. (Eds.), Beyond Reductionism: New Perspectives in the Life Sciences, Boston,Beacon Press, 1969.

Lawrence Allman, Ph.D.Los Angeles Family Institute

Explorations in Marital and Family Therapy, by James L. Framo, New York, Springer Publishing, 1982, 308 pp.$23.95 cloth.

This volume of Framo's major papers (up to 1980) is explanatory and persuasive around his premise that the familyapproach is not just another form of therapy; it is a new orientation to the human condition. One of his memorable quotes is,"The family, not anatomy, is destiny." He is outstanding among writers in family therapy for his convictions about anddescription of the powerful emotions of family relationships and their motivating and organizing influence on clients,therapists, and ordinary mortals.

The papers are arranged by subject matter covering a period from 1965 to 1980. Two chapters on theory trace theevolution of Framo's thinking about interplay of the intrapsychic and the transactional, much of it based on the objectrelations concepts of Fairbairn and Dicks. Framo considers his paper "Symptoms from a Family Transactional Viewpoint,"written in 1970, to be his most important theoretical formulation and the basis of his work with families of origin. In a laterchapter on "Intensive Family Therapy," the author acknowledges that techniques for dealing with family problems lagbehind our understanding of these problems. The distinctive feature of his position, as readers of this journal know, is hisbelief that families cannot change in any deep or meaningful way with therapy limited to current, immediate interactionamong the members. The most powerful obstacle to meaningful treatment is the individual members' libidinal attachmentsto their parental introjects. Further, it is necessary for each member to work through this struggle with incorporated internalobjects because they are being acted out with the other family members. He notes that these introjects are based on thewhole family systemthe parents' marriage, the sibling subsystems, the family codes, its style, and its affect.

Parts Two, Three, and Four deal with the application of this theoretical approach to families, to marriage and divorce, tointergenerational processes; the concluding section contains Framo's reflections on professional and personal issues. Thepapers have all been published elsewhere, and though familiar to many family therapists, are here made more accessible.Written at different times and for different audiences, the papers inevitably repeat not only ideas but verbatim sentences andparagraphs. Apart from this annoying feature, the collected work is always interesting, coherent, and persuasive.

The author has made a commendable effort to analyze the therapy process. He separates beginning, middle, andterminating phases, delineated for the therapist as breaking into the system; building trust in order to understand and workthrough old conflicts; and, finally, dealing with the dynamics of termination. Included in the "dirty middle" are discussionsof marital problems, the "well" sibling, transference and countertransference, and the cotherapy relationship. Here andelsewhere he does not shrink from the difficult task of describing curative factors and indicators of improved familyfunctioning. Other thorny issues he addresses include length of treatment, dropouts from treatment, and timing.

Part Three, on marriage and divorce therapy, pays specific attention to the initial interview and to Framo's use of thecouples group as the method of choice.

The fourth section, on intergenerational processes, represents a fundamental position Framo holds. He identifies fourpatterns of relationship with the family of origin: overinvolved, superficial, totally cut off, appropriate. His technique(described in clear detail and differentiated from the Bowen approach) is centered on treatment sessions with the families oforigin aimed at helping all members to know each other better and to deal with long-standing unresolved issues.

I responded most to the last section of the book. Here Framo considers what he has learned and felt during his years ofwork. His account of establishing a family unit within a medical school mental health center is revealing and instructive;many of us have shared both his frustration in writing grant applications and his high hopes for reorganizing the CMHCmovement. Framo ended his four years of involvement with this venture doubting whether a systems model of treatment canbe integrated with an individual illness model, a judgment I hope is premature. His discouragement with the way laws arewritten; with bureaucracy, rules and regulations; and with the traditions of medical settings is of course repeated by many.

The "Viewpoint on Training" is of particular interest. Consistent with the author's overall belief in "suffering andstruggle" and with the necessity for the therapist to have a feeling of involvement to effect real change, he emphasizes thepersonal development of the trainee. He also believes that the therapist should learn as many kinds of treatment approachesas possible in order to have a full repertory available to shift the system. The concluding chapter reveals some of hispersonal suffering and struggles while conducting treatment sessions; he rightly assumes that his experience of intenseassociations to the living presence of a family are common to all therapists and can be both disturbing and reintegrative."Each family we treat contains a part of our own."

W. Robert Beavers, M.D.Dallas, Texas

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3

Page 4: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

The Tactics of Change: Doing Therapy Briefly, by Richard Fisch, John Weakland and Lynn Segal, San Francisco,Jossey-Bass, 1982, 302 pp. $16.95 cloth.

This is a book about how to do psychotherapy briefly or, as the authors further state, an explicit and comprehensivemanual on how to do therapy effectively and efficiently. It approaches psychotherapy from a problem-solving point of view,seeing human misery as stemming from inadequate or wrongly contrived attempts to solve difficulties of an interpersonalnature. Once a faulty attempt is tried and fails, it sets in motion a wave of noncorrectable feedback loops, which lead theaffected parties further and further astray. The authors are all members of the Brief Therapy Project at the Mental ResearchInstitute in Palo Alto.

After an opening chapter on practice and theory, the book follows the course of a therapy treatment plan, beginning witha chapter on the therapist and following with chapters on everything from the initial interview to termination. Threechapters at the end are devoted to annotated transcripts of therapy case histories and the last chapter seeks to linktherapeutic tactics to a wider context.

For all its theoretical trappings, the book is best as a basic manual of how to do any kind of therapy, not just brieftherapy. It devotes a great deal of space to basic points learned (it is hoped) by first-year psychiatric residents, social workstudents, etc. The points themselves are not new, and one wishes the authors would give some credit to such people asHarry Stack Sullivan and Carl Whitaker. Material is extremely well laid out and easy to follow. Excerpts from interviewtranscripts are included to illustrate important issues.

The best parts of the book are the chapters on positions and interventions. Although the material covered is well knownto experienced therapists, it is put together especially nicely. The authors' insights can be useful in a large number ofclinical situations as long as one does not take what they say to be recipes from a cookbook. This too often happens,especially with beginning therapists who are looking for a tried-and-true approach.

The book tends to shy away from a number of issues it raises. It discusses the therapist/patient relationship without reallydealing with its complexities. For instance, the ability of clients to carry out therapeutic tasks is really dependent upon howmuch the clients trust and love the therapist. The issue of success of treatment is also dealt with in a hazy and confusingmanner. The authors' wish to apply therapeutic principles in the wider social context is laudatory but vague.

The extensive use of verbatim transcripts in a book such as this is troublesome. After many years of studying nonverbalcommunication, I find myself wondering what else is going on besides the words now printed and edited on the page. Whatis the dance really like? What are they really doing? When the authors further comment on the transcripts like sportsannouncers, I become more suspicious of what game they are calling. When the transcripts are excerpts to illustrate a point,I give up all hope of trying to put it together. I wonder why therapists who are interested in systems devote so much time toverbal interchanges and say almost nothing about the nonverbal side of communication.

The book is not, I'm afraid, what it intended to bea cohesive statement or an approach to therapy. It is, however, anexcellent general guide to beginning as a therapist or counselor.

Jane S. Ferber, M.D.Huguenot CenterNew Rochelle, N.Y.

The Sibling Bond, by Stephen P. Bank and Michael D. Kahn, New York, Basic Books, 1982, 363 pp. $16.95 cloth.The social science community has long awaited a major work on sibling relationships; it is with pleasure that we

welcome The Sibling Bond by Stephen P. Bank and Michael D. Kahn as such a book. Ever since their groundbreaking1975 article on sibling relationships in this journal, we knew that we could rely on them to fill this vital gap in ourunderstanding. The book is based on many years of clinical experience with sibling situations and about 100 in-depth,nonrandom interviews. The authors' central thesis is that sibling relationships have a crucial impact on personalitydevelopment and that most mental health professionals' oversight of this dimension of the human experience may beresponsible for some therapeutic failures.

The authors accuse Freud of overemphasizing the Oedipal triangle at the expense of the sibling drama, but theynevertheless make free use of other psychoanalytic concepts, such as ego and defense mechanisms. Their theoretical stanceis eclectic, combining an ego psychology and object relational viewpoint with systems theory. For example, they draw onMahler's attachment individuation theories; on Win-nicott's transitional object concept, on Sullivan's "not-me," dissociationexplanation; on Klein's and Dicks' concepts of projective identification; on Kohut's mirroring concept; on the loyalty andbalanced-ledger theories of Boszormenyi-Nagy; on structural family therapy ideas regarding family enmeshment and theparentified child; and many others. The authors have a proper appreciation of the complexities of family systems, but theiremphasis is on dyadic interactions because they think that children tend to gravitate toward one other sibling and that it isthese dyadic bonds that are the most fateful.

Faithful to their psychodynamic orientation, the authors have a developmental perspective. They view very earlyexperiences between siblings as potentially laying down "the foundation for their lifetime relationship" (p. 21), especially if

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4

Page 5: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

misunderstandings become frozen or escalate during subsequent developmental stages. In addition they suggest that anolder, or even a younger sibling, may become a primary (albeit disappointing) attachment figure and thus have a formativeinfluence on personality development. Moreover, the patterns of sibling interrelationships that are learned in childhood andadolescence may become characteristic ways of relating to other adult peers.

While Bank and Kahn are critical of certain entrenched stereotypes such as emphasis on sibling rivalry, on birth order,and on the parent-child relationship at the expense of sibling relationships, they do not discount these ideas but place themin a broader framework. When discussing sibling rivalry, the authors fully recognize the problematic, conflict-ridden,frequently aggressive nature of sibling relationships. It is one of their main contentions that sibling relationships areinevitably complex and ambivalent. They view rivalry, however, as a rather minor problem, while emphasizingdifferentiation as the central sibling issue that needs to be negotiated throughout life. "High-access" siblings, those close inage who share the same life-space for a number of years, tend to be identified with each other, either in their core identity,their important life roles, or perhaps in their outward persona. The intensity and nature of such identifications willdetermine the vicissitudes of bonding between siblings.

Thus, while the developmental literature discusses differentiation from the mother, Bank and Kahn discuss the"merging," "twinning," and "mirroring" (p. 38) that normally occur among high-access siblings. While these are important,useful mechanisms that develop into processes of "social comparison, projection and identification" (p. 68) in adolescence,they can easily misfire, resulting in life-long fusion, dependency, bondage, hostility or flight.

The authors' complaints about "parentogenic" (p. 299) personality theories is somewhat contradicted by their assertion,with dramatic illustrations, that parents, either through their expectations, projections, failings, competence, or even neglectand abdication, shape the nature of sibling interactions directly or indirectly, for better or for worse. Yet, while parents maymediate or set certain processes into motion, these processes then take on a life of their own. The authors convince us of thedirect and dramatic influence of siblings on each other. The total, partial, or disidentification with a loved or hated siblingmay become a major factor in identity formation.

While the authors question the value of "out-of-context" birth-order research, they come to familiar conclusions about itsimportance, although warning us that it "never operates in a simple way. Death, illnesses and emotional crises all interactwith birth order to create a pattern of affinity and distance" (p. 313). No doubt, this could be a useful warning tooverenthusiastic birth-order researchers, and it is perhaps meant as a criticism of Toman's (1) much-publicized theories.Yet, later, the authors playfully speculate about the effect of most therapists' first-born birth positions on their practice ofpsychotherapy, and in this sense they actually seem to subscribe to these very same birth-order theories.

Bank and Kahn make a major contribution to developmental theory by our perception of these heretofore neglectedprocesses. They also alert the clinician to a number of sibling experiences that may remain unexplored in therapy in spite oftheir crucial importance. Among such experiments are incest with a sibling, growing up with a handicapped sibling, and thepremature death of a sibling. A whole chapter is devoted to each of these subjects. We learn that "incest is more likely tooccur if there is parental neglect or abandonment, so that brothers and sisters begin to need each other for solace,nurturance and identity, or as a vehicle to express rage and hurt" (p. 195). We come to understand in detail the potentialburdens of fear and contagion, shame, survivor guilt, anger, and added caretaking responsibilities that are engendered bygrowing up with a physically, mentally, or emotionally handicapped sibling. We read that parental secrecy, overprotection,and parental replacement fantasies can hinder the life chances of the surviving sibling. The authors discuss with depth andsensitivity the various ways in which such dramas occur and the possible short-term and long-term malignant consequencesof these experiences. These chapters should be of special value and interest to clinicians.

Clinicians will also appreciate the therapeutic guidelines of the last chapter. These are written to apply to a number ofdifferent therapeutic approaches, including even behavior therapy. The authors give detailed suggestions on when, why, andhow adult siblings might be included in therapy. They also give specific advice regarding what areas of sibling relationshipsshould be explored to assure that no vital damaging sibling problems be neglected. One of their most original ideas is thesuggestion that therapy should be conducted in a less parental and more egalitarian, sibling-like manner. This could createsignificant sibling transference (and countertransference) reactions, which could then be usefully interpreted andunderstood.

Clinicians need not be the only readers of this book. The authors have a voice that is sophisticated enough for both theprofessional and educated lay reader. Although they do take a certain amount of psychological background for granted, theyexplain most psychological concepts sufficiently well to be generally understood.

All readers will be intrigued to encounter their own and their children's sibling problems. Parents who might be inclinedto blame themselves for their children's lack of a mutual strong attachment might be surprised and perhaps comforted tolearn that the strongest bonds of sibling loyalty "require a basic weakness, absence or failure of parents ... [and that]parental over-involvement diminishes sibling loyalty while underinvolvement can emphasize it" (p. 123). Parents are alsoassured that sibling fights are normal, healthy aspects of growing up and that such conflicts are instructive to children andshould not be suppressed. Parents, and professionals who work with parents, will no doubt garner many other helpful ideas

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5

Page 6: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

from this book. The authors make an especially strong case against exploiting an older child as a major caretaker for his orher siblings, explaining the possible destructive consequences for both children. Many of the chapters provide suchguidelines for optimal parenting, either directly or by implication.

Although Bank and Kahn are careful not to make rigid prescriptions as to what sibling relationships should be like, theydo have definite ideas on that matter. They do not envisage an unchangingly loyal and unconditionally accepting siblingrelationship as the most ideal. They prefer a more challenging relationship in which differences "prevail but are temperedby ongoing feelings of affinity and respect" (p. 99). Such relationships allow "separateness and differentiation from oneanother without isolation, and cooperation, closeness and intimacy without enmeshment" (p. 315). Bad relationships thatare in need of change, by contrast, are those "that hinder development, create conflict and difficulty, destabilize the familyor cause psychological damage" (p. 315).

The case viguettes strewn throughout the book are interesting and relevant, although at times somewhat predictable.There are also a number of welcome literary references. The organization of the material is very clear; each chapter startswith an outline that is followed through systematically. The book is written in a highly readable, academic style. The indexis useful and complete, and acknowledgements to background literature are carefully interwoven in the text. Their 12 pagebibliography is also a great potential resource.

The Sibling Bond can thus be valued on various levels. It offers a comprehensive review of difficulties inherent in allcommitted, long-term dyadic relationships. It offers an unforced, non-apologetic integration of psychodynamic and systemstheory, both in the abstract and in therapeutic application; an integration that transcends ideological polemics. It is fortunatethat this important subject has finally found writers to do it justice.

REFERENCES

1. Toman, W., Family Constellation: Its Effects on Personality and Social Behavior, 3d ed., New York, Springer,1976.

Sophie Freud Loewenstein, Ph.D.Simmons College School of Social WorkBoston, Massachusetts

Assessing Marriage: New Behavioral Approaches, Erik F. Filsinger and Robert A. Lewis (Eds.), Beverly Hills, Calif.,Sage Publishers, 1981, 300 pp. $18.95 cloth, $9.95 paper.

Assessing Marriage, published with the cooperation of the National Council of Family Relations, is a major contributionto family research. In 18 articles, this book provides a comprehensive overview of behavioral marital assessment. Itincludes papers on the conceptual base of behavioral assessment, major scoring systems for observing and coding data onmarital interaction, and data analysis strategies. Bibliographies accompanying each article offer a basic guide for anyoneinterested in reviewing behavioral research in the field.

It would be a mistake to consider this book valuable only to those interested in behavioral marital therapy andassessment. As a group, the authors have given careful and systematic attention to the generic issues involved in integratingbasic theory, research, and clinical work. Their efforts can provide all researchers with models for using theory to guideobservations. The authors illustrate how to develop and select appropriate data collection methods and coding systems, toanalyze and interpret observational data, and to use assessment data to focus clinical work.

In their introductory chapter, the editors explain the meaning of the book's behavioral emphasis. They make these centralpoints: (a) that the predominant data collection mode is observation of marital interaction by a trained other; (b) that theirperspective of behaviorism incorporates cognitive behaviors as important for understanding human interaction; and (c) thatbehavioral techniques and observational data are not cure-alls and should be integrated with self-report and multi-methodassessment procedures.

The book is divided into five parts: Frameworks for Behavioral Assessment, Innovations in Data Collection, Innovationsin Data Analysis, Comparison of Assessment Techniques, and Issues and Challenges in Behavioral Assessment.

Part I includes five papers on major questions about conceptual frameworks for behavioral assessment. Robert Weissoutlines a "behavioral systems approach" that aims to integrate social learning and exchange models with systemicapproaches. He advocates that those using Behavioral Marital Therapy (BMT) should correct their overemphasis onperformance aspects of couples' assessment and intervention and incorporate cognitive dimensions. The cognitiveprocessing of marital partners shapes the meaning they give to their interactions and context. This issue is addressed byother authors as well. Unfortunately, the book does not include specific examples of how these researchers have integratedbehavioral and cognitive approaches in marital assessment.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6

Page 7: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

Cromwell and Peterson present a multi-system/multi-method framework for assessment. The aim of this approach is tocollect and interpret information from relevant subsystems as well as from the family system as a whole. Lowman, in a thirdarticle, offers another conceptual view, arguing that the affective dimension is the most powerful predictor of marital andfamily system functioning. The interface between research and clinical issues is the focus of papers by both Olson andMargolin. Olson describes the ways in which practitioners and researchers can support one another's work. He uses hiscircumplex model as an example of how theoretically and empirically derived typologies can bridge the interests of thesetwo groups of professionals. Margolin, writing from the perspective of the clinician, describes how therapists can adaptmany specific behavioral assessment measures to suit clinical needs.

The five chapters in Part II offer detailed descriptions of the major techniques for collecting observational data in maritalinteraction. These chapters include not only definitions of the coding categories for each system but also discussions ofprocedures for training coders and establishing reliability. The authors' descriptions of the types of questions each system isdesigned to answer and the potential research applications for these systems will help researchers select appropriateinstruments. Examples include pinpointing where problems in interaction occur, determining the necessary type of clinicalinterventions, and establishing pretherapy baselines for measuring therapeutic change. Two chapters in this section deal notonly with systems for coding data but also with available computer technology. The authors make it clear that we have thetechnological capability to collect frequency, durational, and sequential data simultaneously.

Part III includes two sophisticated and useful articles focusing on data analysis techniques and strategies. The first ofthese is an excellent summary of issues and decision points in assessing the reliability of observational data. The second is aguide to the analysis of observational data that focuses on three strategies for analyzing event-based sequential data (p.198):

1. nonsequential analysis to test the idea that nondistressed couples produce differential frequencies, rates, orproportions of interactional events compared to distressed couples;

2. sequential analysis to assess the interactional patterns to describe and/or discriminate between distressed andnon-distressed couples; and

3. spectral analysis of time-series data to assess component oscillations.

What is particularly useful about these two papers is that the authors explain each strategy in terms of the focusingquestion that it is designed to answer. Graduate students and senior researchers will find these works to be good models forthinking through their own research requirements.

The two articles in Part IV evaluate the state of the art in behavioral assessment of couples. Markman et al. provide areview of the major observational coding systems available for assessing marital interaction. They consider the majoradvantages and disadvantages of each scoring system and the contributions that each approach has made to our knowledgeabout marital distress. In addition, they highlight the major conceptual and methodological problems that limit thegeneralizability of conclusions drawn from observational studies. These issues include validity, research design, and dataanalysis. The second article, by Lewis et al., provides a rare example of convergent validity between traditional self-reportand behavioral assessment techniques.

In the final section of the book, Murray Straus offers a probing evaluation of recent requirements for protecting the rightsof human subjects and their interpretation by review boards. He provides a helpful perspective for considering the questionof risk to subjects posed by research studies. The last chapter, by Arkowitz et al., presents a general overview of the bookand highlights the weaknesses of current work in behavioral assessment. This critical review is a balanced one withsuggestions for future directions in the field. Most important, the writers place behavioral assessment in perspective byemphasizing that the various coding systems are only methods for describing behavior. They emphasize that researchersmust still answer the question of what behavior to code on the basis of theory that tells us where to look. Techniques forassessing behavioral, cognitive, and affective components of interaction can facilitate theoretical integration betweendivergent models.

This book is important not only as a presentation of behavioral assessment approaches but also as a stimulus for thinkingabout research in marital and family studies in general. The authors' emphasis on the need to integrate behavioral,cognitive, and systemic perspectives, as well as the use of multi-method procedures, points the field toward scientificmaturity.

Howard M. Weiss, Ph.D.Ackerman Institute for Family TherapyNew York, N.Y.

Techniques of Family Therapy, by David S. Freeman, New York, Jason Aronson, 1981, 349 pp. $25 cloth.This review has been hard work, for David Freeman has written a gentle, informative, yet uneven book. It seems to start

low and end high. Although his book is entitled Techniques of Family Therapy, it attempts to accomplish much more anddoes so with questionable degrees of success in some areas while achieving genuine contributions in others.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7

Page 8: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

Organizationally, Freeman moves from a definition of the field through a series of what he calls "misconceptions," to asection on general systems theory, to definitions of concepts, to a view of levels of systems affecting family therapy, tointerviews and commentary highlighting clinical issues, including goals and processes during first, middle, and finalinterviews. A final chapter touches on therapeutic dilemmas, and an appendix includes two interview transcripts of casespresented earlier without discussion. A rather full bibliography concludes the work.

David Freeman comes across as a forthright, sensitive, and caring man, and, to judge from the transcripts of interviews, afine family therapist and clinical teacher. His unruffled ability to involve a family in releasing untapped opinions, options,and unused resources in their own behalf is intriguing. His framework derives basically from Bowen, with aspects of Nagyand others well blended in.

The concept underlying his model of family therapy is a belief that the family is continually changing but has theresources, in therapy, to arrive at different problem solutions than those it has been using. Freeman delineates the therapistas coach, consultant, researcher. With logic and feeling, he supports the belief that the purpose of family therapy is to helpfamily members know realistically who they are and what they can expect from each other. He believes that a therapist'stask is to help a family forge new ways of thinking and acting, in the process of finding new solutions to current problems.Those problems are seen as manifestations of the manner in which the needs and wishes of individuals are being workedout interactively. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to empower families to solve their own problems in the future: "If thetherapist takes responsibility for the solution of problems, then he must take responsibility also for the outcome. If thetherapeutic endeavor works, it is because he is a bright therapist; if it fails, it is because he is inadequate. In either case, thefamily does not assume responsibility for resolving their problems. (p. 4)"

Freeman's writing is most alive and illuminating when analyzing his interviews in terms of the underlying principles ofhis way of doing systems therapy. His mode of interviewing by almost continual questions avoids letting the family gettrapped into too narrow a view of any issue. He increasingly evokes new information, with the eventual result that thefamily expands its view. In this process, he succeeds not in reframing issues but in having the family reframe them. At notime does Freeman box them in or insist that they accept his definitions. Thus his interviews are congruent with his beliefsand with his clinical theory. His commentary on the thinking behind his questions allows the reader to see clearly how hetranslates theory into practice. His respect for each individual is paramount, as he keeps his own particular biases abouthow this family should be well out of the way of the interview.

Freeman seems to walk easily through territory that many other therapists might find loaded, in a calm and matter-of-factmanner that is skillfully "innocent." He always searches for whatever systems are involved, for new information, for themore cognitive expressions of wishes, images, hurts, desires. He refrains from any over-viewing statements while repeatingthose family members make, so they may refine and expand them. On paper his tone is neutral, curious, and interested,allowing his clients the greatest freedom to answer questions freely.

Of particular interest to this reviewer is his inclusion of a first interview in which varying agency members who had beeninvolved with the family were present. Freeman enlists their input and cooperation without threatening any of themanunusual skill in the fractionated and competitive world of helping agencies. He manages this by moving slowly andcarefully, defusing intensity. At least on paper, he registers as devoid of any absolutes as to how a family should be, and ifhe is confrontational his adversaries are not people but only closed minds.

Yet Freeman's book is more than his clinical framework and interviews, and here is where some of the problems lie.Although he says in his brief preface that this is his model of therapy, as a scholar he has bitten off more than he haschewed well, and in the process, has not come off as best he might. It is unfortunate that someone with something to say didnot have the help of a good editor, for there is the absence of careful thought, presentation, and structure in the earlier partof the book.

Given the progression from background to clinical material, one can assume that this book is primarily for those notcurrently esconced in their own ways of practicing family therapy. Indeed, it reads as a book for beginners in the field,although Freeman states it is to be a guide for experienced clinicians as well.

While he acknowledges that there are many views of this field, and that he will not be making comparisons, Freemandoes present his personal views in a totalistic manner. For instance, after an opening chapter entitled "What is FamilyTherapy?" he addresses "Common Misconceptions About Family Therapy." The first misconception is that "the familytherapist is the expert in solving family problems." This can hardly be called a misconception when it is central to severalschools of family therapy. His own belief system and ethical platform are presented as if they represent the entire field,rather than his personal professional bias.

As one who shares this bias (though practices differently), I feel he has done himself a disservice by making suchsweeping statements and possibly alienating readers at the beginning of the first chapter. It is here and in similar instancesthroughout the first half of the book that a good editor would have asked Freeman to let his own values and approach shinethrough as differentiated "I" statements rather than as pronouncements about the whole field.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8

Page 9: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

At times I felt as if Freeman's editor was unfamiliar with the field as a whole as Freeman seems to be in these earlychapters. The section on general systems theory, another example, gets confused with maps of family therapy andinterventions and is hard to follow. It also seems unrelated to the rest of the book. In another chapter, "The Major SystemsAffecting Family Therapy," Freeman heads a section "The Practitioner's Personal Family" and then proceeds to discuss thishardly at all, except to state that one should have one's act together or it will get in the way. He then goes on to explorecommon myths about how families organize, using examples from clinical cases and says no more about the therapist's ownfamily. In other instances, there are conceptual leaps that at first left this reader feeling she missed something, only to findthat something was truly missing.

Freeman is on surer ground when he speaks of the theoretical constructs on which he bases his work, primarily those ofBowen, to whom he gives ample credit. Here he connects complicated concepts in a facile fashion, yet uses references verysparsely, so that newcomers to the field would be hard put to identify which pieces of theory derive from whom and whichare pure Freeman. Sections on "loyalty," "alliances," "fantasies, distortions, legends," "unpaid dues and ghosts,""communication," and others, all go without any mention of pioneers in the field, whereas "differentiation of self,""multigenerational view," and "emotional triangles" are properly identified with Bowen. There is no mention of premisesand constructs belonging to structural or strategic therapies.

The authors is most in his stride beginning with Chapter 5, in which he swings into full gear about the practical teachingof family therapy, starting with the first telephone contact. This half of the book has much to offer clinicians, new andexperienced, those who teach therapy, and all of us who are interested in the many ways in which change in families cantake place. A good editor would have encouraged Freeman to expand this section to become most of the book and certainlywould not have relegated two interviews to an appendix. Such an editor would have trusted in Freeman's shiningdemonstration in therapy sessions of his weighted and patient belief in morphogenesis, (the ability of families to changetheir way of functioning and relating), to fascinate, instruct, and entice us all, including those many mental healthprofessionals he mentions at the beginning of the book, who still consider individuals out of context.

The clinical framework and material he has given us adds to the emerging interview literature in this field. It exemplifiesthe general systems principle of equifinality in the field of family therapy: many different ways of getting to the same goal,that of helping families and the individuals within them to live their lives more fully and freely in connected differentiation.

Bunny S. Duhl, Ed.D.Boston Family Institute Brookline, Massachusetts

OTHER BOOKS OF NOTEThe Family In Political Thought, Jean Bethke Elshtain (Ed.), Amherst, Mass, University of Massachusetts Press, 1982,352 pp. $22.50 cloth, $10.00 paper.

A Treatise On The Family, by Gary S. Becker, Cambridge, Mass., Harvard University Press, 1981, 288 pp. $20.00 cloth.Maybe some of our critics are right that family therapists talk only to each other. If that worries you, season your clinical

studies with these volumes. The Elshtain collection looks at historical models of the family with recurring emphasis on afeminist perspective. Becker, on the other hand, has written a completely economic analysis of family life, viz., "A coupledivorces because unexpected information after marriage reduced their wealth from remaining married below their wealthfrom a divorce" (p. 234). This is quoted out of context, of course, but gives you an idea. If reading (surviving?) Becker doesanything for you as a therapist, it will possibly be to open up that most forbidden topic in clinical work, money.

Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children, by Arthur Maslow and Moira Duggan, Garden City, New York,Doubleday and Co., 1982, 217 pp. $14.95 cloth.

I have always found some patients who like "background reading." It may not answer their problems, but it does seem togive them some perspective, and they feel a kind of kinship with other people's problems in similar areas. This book has aunique subject, the relationship of parents to their adult children. Whether you agree with the authors' advice to parentsmay not be so important as whether the book allows patients to think over their problems from another point of view.

How To Keep Love Alive, by Ari Kiev, New York, Harper & Row, 1982, 207 pp. $13.95 cloth.Now that they're successfully parenting their grown children, a couple will naturally want to know how to keep their love

alive. Dr. Kiev assures his readers that, among other things, "people who establish loving unions do so by letting the otherperson be a whole person, rather than forcing him or her to be only one-half of a whole" (p. 76). Who could argue?

Systems Theory and Family Therapy: A Primer, by Raphael J. Becvar and Dorothy Stroh Becvar, Washington, D.C.,

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9

Page 10: Family Connections: Parenting Your Grown Children

University Press of America, 1982, 93 pp. $18.25 cloth, $7.75 paper.Remember the kid in the front row who wrote while you doodled through the whole lecture? And didn't you always want

those notes in the worst way the night before the final exam? Well, if you have $7.75 and a magnifying glass, they're yours.Sample: "To say that a system's purpose is to receive inputs, process those inputs, and produce outputs to other systems isanother possibility. Indeed this is what it does. However, in terms of goal or purposes this too is problematic in itscircularity" (p. 21). Never mind what it means, just memorize it and you'll get your A.

And here's something from my college notes, though to be perfectly truthful it was scribbled on the back of an oldHayes-Bickford menu: Caveat emptor.

R. S.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10