failure is your friend:embracing the messy bits

anna roberts@wranglecreative

jolene zywica@jolenezywica

courtney francis@cfrancisrun

working examples@workingexamples

introduction definitions and assumptions

prepping for failure introduction, reflect and share

recovering from failure introduction and share

bringing it home

our assumptions

you believe in the value of failure

you’re interested in exploring your experience with failure

you’re ready to be a bit brave

what does failure mean to you? Not achieving your ideal or desired outcomes

Falling short

Disappointing someone

Not getting the results you expected

Not measuring up

Not doing what is expected of you

Floundering

Making a mistake or misstep

Not being “successful”

Forgetting do to something

Looking bad

Not holding it together

Procrastinating – not starting something

Being sub-par

Creating something that doesn’t work

Hurting someone

Not advancing to the next level

Overlooking something or someone

Slipping up

Fizzling out

definition #1:quality world picture

our fantasy of success vs. real world

the idea in practice: create a fallible picture of yourself

1. turn to your neighbor

2. share an “oops” moment that happened recently

3. laugh about it

definition #2:resilience

our ability to recover from tragedy, trauma, failure or risk

remember: embracing failure is a process

it starts small

it doesn’t always feel good (but it gets easier)

no one is ever great at it (but you get better)

embracing failure before you start: building your world picture

building your world picture

recognize it Are you feeling stuck? Frustrated? Having a hard time getting started? What are you struggling with?

Recognize what’s getting in the way or what you’re afraid of. Give it name.

deconstruct it Analyze your world picture. What exactly are you afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen?

The best? How realistic are those outcomes? What can you reasonably control?

relax Give yourself permission to explore and learn. Focus on adjusting your picture.

plan Build a strategy. What support do you need? Who can help?

baby steps Figure out first steps. Take one. Take another.

reflect on your own (3 minutes)Think about a time you were worried about failing – big or small

(just think about the experience, but don’t judge it)

What were some of your fears?

What’s the worst that could have happened?

How did it make you feel?

How did your fear/worry manifest itself?

How did you approach the problem?

Who did you ask for help, if anyone?

What might you have done differently?

share in small groups (10 minutes)Thinking about these tools, how could have your experience been different? Do any of

these steps resonate strongly with you? What steps or tools might you add?

recognize it Are you feeling stuck? Frustrated? Having a hard time getting started? What are you struggling with?

Recognize what’s getting in the way or what you’re afraid of. Give it a name.

deconstruct it Analyze your world picture. What exactly are you afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? The best?

How realistic are those outcomes? What can you reasonably control?

relax Give yourself permission to explore and learn. Focus on adjusting your picture.

plan Build a strategy. What support do you need? Who can help?

baby steps Figure out first steps. Take one. Take another.

ideas & strategies from the groupAdditional ideas from the participants of our SXSWedu workshop

slow down In our fast-paced world, we forget to slow down so that we can make good decisions. Take some time to

ponder solutions, think things over or prepare before acting.

do a “pre-mortem” Prepare by looking forward and identifying what might go wrong. Are there areas where challenges are likely

to arise? Make a plan that will account for predictable failures or potential issues.

remember that things will go wrong Set the expectation (for yourself and others) that there will be bumps in the road so you’re less likely to get

derailed if things go wrong.

perfect is the enemy of good Don’t get paralyzed by perfectionism. Doing ANYTHING is better than doing nothing; just get yourself started.

embracing failure after the fact: practicing resilience

practicing resilience

recognize it Admit it. What happened? How are you feeling about it (scared, frustrated, embarrassed, angry)?

feel it Don’t move past it yet, give yourself space to feel all the yuck. Nurture yourself. Find a support system.

reflect What happened? What might you have done differently? What can you learn from in this situation?

How can you make this into something positive? Find mentors to help you do this work.

next steps Based on what you’ve learned, what changes could help you be more successful next time?

What can you do to prepare? What (if anything) do you need to do to “recover” from your failure?

share in small groups (10 minutes)Which of these steps resonate strongly with you?

How have you used these to recover from a past failure? Or how might you have used them? Are there other strategies that you might add to the list?

recognize it Admit it. What happened? How are you feeling about it (scared, frustrated, embarrassed, angry)?

feel it Don’t move past it yet, give yourself space to feel all the yuck. Nurture yourself. Find a support system.

reflect What happened? What might you have done differently? What can you learn from in this situation?

How can you make this into something positive? Find mentors to help you do this work.

next steps Based on what you’ve learned, what changes could help you be more successful next time?

What can you do to prepare? What (if anything) do you need to do to “recover” from your failure?

ideas & strategies from the groupAdditional ideas from the participants of our SXSWedu workshop

apologize Recognize when you need to make amends. Was there someone(s) you hurt, toes that were stepped on?

Saying sorry is hard but will build trust with people and help you all move on together.

look for support Who can help you successfully recover from your failure? Look for people you trust to support you

emotionally, give you honest feedback, and help you plan your next steps.

focus on what worked How can you turn this negative experience into a positive one? What did you gain from the experience? Are

there things you learned or new relationships that might help you in the future?

move past it Don’t dwell for too long or be harder on yourself than the failure warrants. Letting yourself off the hook is an

important part of moving forward.

tips for bringing it home

these steps are a set of tools, not a prescription

remember, it’s a process

creating a culture of failure starts with YOU

supporting others in failure is great practice

BE BRAVE!

bringing it home: open share

How are you thinking about using these ideas

in your life, classroom, work, etc.?

How might you support your colleagues or students

to help them become more resilient?

ideas & strategies from the groupAdditional ideas from the participants of our SXSWedu workshop

teach (and model) resilience It’s very important as a leader, teacher or team member to model embracing and talking about failures. Teach

resilience by presenting failure as natural (and inevitable).

support your team Talk through your team’s strengths and weaknesses before failure occurs so you can focus energy in the right

place and seek the best support for your team if failure does happen.

avoid finger pointing Casting blame breaks down trust and doesn’t allow people to acknowledge or work through failure.

culture shift is slow Some situations will require a shift in thinking in order for people to embrace these values. Be patient and

model your own work to demonstrate the value of failure.

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