expressin’ ourselves to our full capabilities, now we’re...
TRANSCRIPT
It’sfinallyhere.Nomorehype,nomorewebcams,nomorebullshit.Theeventwe’vealllookedforwardtohasarrived.Shockingly,theseasondoescontinueafterthis,thoughyouwouldn’tknowit. Andthat’swhatmakestoday’sgamepivotalfortheHawks.Notbecauseit’satWrigley,oronNBC,orJohnMcDonoughmaybecomethefirstteampresidenttoblowhim-selfduringit.It’sbecausethepasttwosea-sons,thisistheexactpointwheretheHawks’seasonhasgoneofftherails.Lastyear,theHawksroaredthroughChristmas,winningfourinarow,includingtheseminalvictoriesovertheSenators,Oilers,andJordanTootoo’sface.However,theseeffortswerefollowedbytwoclunkersagainsttheKings--thesecondofwhichsawCaptainMarvelhurthisknee.Theyproceededtolosethenextsevenandneverrecovered. Twoyearsago,aftertheshit-canningofTrentYawneyandthehiringofSavard,theHawksthrewupa9-3-3stretch.Whatfol-lowedwasapuke-tasticsequencewheretheHawkswon2of14gamesandlostanychanceofevenbeginningtoconsidertothinkabouttheplayoffs. Sowe’veseenhotDecembersbefore.Admittedly,we’veneverseenonethishot.Wealsohaven’tseenhockeyofthisquality.Butwe’llonlyknowthatthisHawksteamistrulydifferentifthistrainkeepsa-rollin’rightintothenewyear.All Right, That Sucked Lastnight’sperformancehasn’tputourfearstobed.Butwealsothinkthe4-0scorelinemakesitlookalotworsethanitwas.We’vesaiditbefore,butthedifferencebetweenScumandprettymuchtherestoftheleagueistheydon’tmisswhentheyhavethechance.Inthefirstperiodlastnight,theHawkscarriedmost,ifnotall,oftheplay.Theirpowerplaywasdancingcircles.Conklinmadesomebigsaves,onestupidpenaltyfromBuff,andyou’redownone.Repeatforsecondperiod,butreplaceKaneforBuff.Downtwo.YouknowwhattheysayaboutDetroit:Givethemaninch,they’llstealyourcar. However,thiswasn’tlikethegameatthebeginningofDecemberwhichDetroitstole.Theyhadtheirshareofdominationaswell.Thesecondperiodwasn’tparticularypretty.Wedidn’tlearnanythingnewlastnight.Forstretches,evenwholegames,theHawkscanstickwithScum.Buttobeatthem,theyhavetobeprettymuchperfect.Detroitdoesn’t.There’sthegapforyou.
I’ll Take Your Scraps Therehavebeenrumblingsofdis-contentinBailoutCity.TheWingsdefense--ormoretothepoint,goaltending--hasnotbeenuptosnuff.They’re20thingoals-against,andyetthey’rethirdinshots-against.Thatwouldleadyoutolookbetweenthepipes,andspecificallyatChrisOsgood,who’sbeenprettyclosetowoeful.Unfortunately,we’venowgottenagoodlookatTyConklin,andwedon’tliketheviewatall.He’splayedwonderfullyagainstusthepasttwoencoun-ters.We’drathernotseeathird. Yet,theWingsarerightwheretheynormallyare,leadingthedivision,andonlyarecord-settingstartfromtheSharksiskeep-ingthemfromthetopoftheWesternheap.Thiswillsoundlikewhininganditpartlyis,butthey’vebeenabletodothatthroughtheirtalentalone.Theyhaven’tbeendefen-sivelysound.Theyhaven’tbroughtastrongefforteverynight.Buttheywin,andtheywinbecausetheydon’thavetobeneartheirbesttobeatmostteamsintheleague.Everyteamwillprovideyouwithacouplechances,andwiththebathtubofoffensive-skillScumboast,they’lltakethosechances.Andman,isn’titannoyingbeyondbelief?
Come Strong, Or Don’t Come At All Wecanacceptlosseswhentheop-posinggoaliestandsonhishead.WecanacceptthatmaybetheHawksgotcaughtlook-ingforward,justalittle,tothisevent(thankyouverymuch,Mr.McDonough).We’llevengrudginglyadmitthatScumarebetterandsometimesthatwilljustshinethrough.Whatwewon’ttakeisbeingoutmuscledbythosedickwads.There’snoexcuseforthat.TheHawksweregettinghitallovertheice.Thatcan’thappentoday.TheHawksmusttakeittoScumphysically,andwethinkwiththeimmensityoftheoccasiontheywill,iffornootherreasonthantogetthecrowdbehindthem. ButthisisanothertraptheWingscanplayonyou.Teamsconcentratesohardonhittingthemandpunishingthemthattheyraceoutofpositiontodoso.OnesliplikethatusuallyleadstoagoalielookingbehindhimandlotsofRedWingsmilesthatjustmakeourbloodboil.EspeciallyJiriHudler’s,couldn’ttellyouwhy.TheHawksareoneofthefewteamswithenoughspeedtogetcaughtoutonceortwicebutrecover.Findthebalancetoday,boys,anddon’tmakeusregretalltheboozewedranktokeepwarmouthere.Notthatweeverwould.-RonnieWoo-woo
Expressin’ Ourselves To Our Full Capabilities, Now We’re Livin’ In Correctional Facilities...
[email protected] 1st, 2009
The Committed Indian
The REal Fan’s Program
THE GREAT OUTDOORS
$3
secondcityhockey.com
$3
“God, even sitting outside doesn’t cover up their smell.”
You’ve McDonough Enough: I’m pretty sure if I see one more interview with John McDonough’s smiling face talking about the Winter Classic, I’m going to vomit up a living organism. Yes, today is a great event to be a part of. It’s exciting that the Hawks are the center of the Hockey World today. It’s downright shocking how quickly the Hawks are carving out their own spot in the Chicago sports scene. But John, this is not the Hockey Super Bowl, as you’ve termed it. It is not a college Bowl game, as you’ve also termed it. This is nothing more than a regular season game. The Hawks didn’t earn it by play on the ice. They were given it. It’s a gimmick. A fun, cool gimmick, but nothing more. The fact that the Hawks are hosting the NHL’s marquee regular season event has little or nothing to do with their play on the ice, which you’ve claimed is the most important thing. A win will be no more than two points. A loss will not be devastating. Let’s try and be realistic here, if we can. The Hawks have to be really careful from here. There have been far too many columns written, interviews done, and appear-ances made for a team that, as of yet, hasn’t accomplished all that much. Isn’t all this going to look awfully silly if the Hawks meekly go out in the first round in April? Not only with every win they pile up, but with every feature on ESPN.com, every front-page story,
every segment on the news ramps up the expectations on this team. All this hullabaloo would lead people to believe that this a team worth paying serious attention to. That means serious playoff-pro-gression. Tread lightly, Mr. McDonough. The more eyes that are
fixed on the Hawks, the more mouths to laugh if it all goes pear-shaped.
Lunch With A Side Of Glass: I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I absolutely abhor games against Scum. I never enjoy them for one second. I turn into a petulant 12-year old child during them. I’m never sure what I’m capable of, win or lose. I just know that blood and arrests are certainly within bounds. Scum fans, their broadcasters, their uniforms, everything just brings my blood to a boil. So today, I’ll enjoy the atmosphere right up until face-off. As soon as that puck hits the ice, I will be the
most miserable person on Earth. God help me if there’s a Scum fan sitting next to me. I never even enjoy victory over them. It’s just a feeling of relief that I won’t have to listen to some lunchbox from Bloomfield Hills or Grosse Point or Domino Farms bellow some bullshit that leaves me about 3 seconds from seeing if he can fully digest a crowbar. I’d like to believe that one day I’ll grow up. But I think you and I both know that will never happen.
MUSINGS FROM THE EDITOR
Sam Fels
Look-a-Likes
Every day I get in the queue...to get on the short-bus that takes
Datsyuk....
NHL STANDINGS
ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 23 13 3 49 107 107 13-7-2 10-6-1 New Jersey 21 11 3 45 107 90 11-7-1 10-4-2 Philadelphia 19 10 7 45 123 112 12-4-3 7-6-4 Pittsburgh 19 14 4 42 118 110 8-8-2 11-6-2 NY Islanders 11 22 4 26 94 134 6-9-2 5-13-2
NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Boston 28 5 4 60 137 82 13-1-1 15-4-3 Montreal 21 9 6 48 108 91 11-4-4 10-5-2 Buffalo 17 15 5 39 105 108 10-9-2 7-6-3 Toronto 15 16 6 36 115 133 7-6-4 8-10-2 Ottawa 12 17 5 29 80 98 9-6-3 3-11-2
CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Tools United 24 7 5 53 132 105 13-3-2 11-4-3 HAWKS 20 7 7 47 123 88 11-1-4 9-6-3 Nashville 17 16 3 37 90 107 10-4-1 7-12-2 Columbus 16 16 4 36 94 103 11-6-1 5-10-3 St. Louis 14 20 3 31 106 128 9-9-2 5-11-1
PUCK DROP
SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Washington 24 11 3 51 124 111 15-1-1 9-10-2 Carolina 17 15 5 39 97 112 9-9-1 8-6-4 Florida 16 15 5 37 91 100 8-5-3 8-10-2 Tampa Bay 10 16 10 30 85 110 4-6-7 6-10-3 Atlanta 12 20 5 29 109 136 6-11-2 6-9-3
Eastern Conference Western Conference
NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Calgary 21 11 4 46 109 106 12-4-3 9-7-1 Vancouver 20 14 3 43 108 97 11-5-1 9-9-2 Colorado 19 16 1 39 102 104 11-6-0 8-10-1 Edmonton 17 14 3 37 95 102 6-5-3 11-9-0 Minnesota 17 16 2 36 89 82 10-7-2 7-9-0
PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY San Jose 28 4 4 60 126 84 18-0-2 10-4-2 Anaheim 19 14 4 42 107 105 10-7-2 9-7-2 Phoenix 17 15 5 39 94 105 11-5-2 6-10-3 Los Angeles 15 16 6 36 95 102 10-8-6 5-8-0 Dallas 15 15 5 35 103 121 8-6-3 7-9-2
*as of 12/31
TOP 10 LIST
Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions By Wings Fans
10. Consider bathing9. Expand horizons by date-raping a redhead this year8. Tell even more people how hard Detroit has been hit by the econ-omy, even though I’ve never actually lived in the state of Michigan7. Claim even more that non-sellouts at Joe are due to economy, and ignore the 40,000 the Tigers average6. Try and block Lions from memory5. Finally stop pretending we’re proud of Kid Rock4. Admit that Eminem is overrated by a factor of 123. Only blow guys for really good coke, not that stepped-on shit2. Burn down neighbor’s house, not my own1. Like every other Wings fan, move to Chicago
Chicago Blackhawks 20-7-7
# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary
88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 19 34 16 25 41 5 26 8 0 2 103 15.5 $3,725,000
10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 26 34 19 11 30 -1 30 7 0 4 104 18.3 $3,900,000
32 L VerStud 5'10" 180 22 33 10 19 29 14 39 3 1 1 62 16.1 $491,667
19 C Captain Marvel 6'2" 209 20 34 9 19 28 8 25 3 0 2 82 11 $2,800,000
51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 34 6 20 26 6 2 3 0 1 53 11.3 $7,142,875
24 R Martin Havlat 6'2" 217 27 34 9 17 26 13 12 3 0 1 93 9.7 $6,000,000
16 L Andrew Ladd 6'2" 198 22 34 7 16 23 16 14 0 0 0 73 9.6 $1,550,000
36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 34 7 14 21 8 18 0 1 1 46 15.2 $845,833
2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 34 4 14 18 19 18 0 1 1 70 5.7 $1,475,000
25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 24 3 14 17 -4 15 3 0 1 29 10.3 $2,768,587
33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 31 7 9 16 5 33 1 0 2 89 7.9 $3,000,000
22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 28 5 9 14 6 32 2 0 0 53 9.4 $675,000
46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 34 2 8 10 2 37 0 0 0 22 9.1 $500,000
7 D Brent Seabrook 6'3" 220 23 34 4 6 10 13 37 1 1 0 52 7.7 $600,000
55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 30 6 1 7 1 65 0 0 0 25 24 $568,000
23 D Aaron Johnson 6'1" 211 25 20 3 4 7 15 12 0 0 1 12 25 $3,500,000
43 D James Wisniewski 6'0" 207 24 5 0 4 4 -1 2 0 0 0 13 0 $900,000
28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 21 2 2 4 -2 14 1 0 0 22 9.1 $600,000
8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 22 0 2 2 6 22 0 0 0 23 0 $600,000
5 D Brent Sopel * 6'1" 211 31 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333
37 R Adam Burish 6'1" 189 25 19 0 0 0 -5 49 0 0 0 21 0 $712,500
Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.75 24.17 121 215 519 35 4 1076 11.25% $44,682,295
# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary
39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6'1" 209 35 18 1079 2.45 11 2 4 1 558 44 0.921 0 2 4 $6,750,000
38 Cristobal Huet 6'1" 205 33 17 991 2.3 9 5 3 1 460 38 0.917 0 0 0 $5,625,000
Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 35 2070 2.38 20 7 7 2 1018 82 0.919 0 2 4 $12,375,000
TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000
CAP SPACE: $274,000*
*space also affected by buyouts and injured players
16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every-thing I can think of to drive the core
fan away, strip hockey of all that’s great about it, and eliminate any at-tention by the mainstream media...
I am so close to completing the task Stern charged me with....
*injured
Injury ListAdamBurish-Questionable(BrokenToe)
Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing
22Brouwer 10Sharp 88Kane32Versteeg 19Toews 33Byfuglien16Ladd 36Bolland 24Havlat55Eager 46Fraser 28Adams
Probable Pairings51Campbell 25Barker2Keith 7Seabrook
43Wisniewski 8Walker
Dear Patrick:Teams will notice you can be flustered by physical play and are prone to dumb, selfish penalties because of. Knock it off.Sincerely, Us
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Cam must feel hard done by. He has done everything asked of him, and yet ends up in the pressbox due to d-man logjam. This shouldn’t happen again. Wiz doesn’t have Cam’s hands on the top PP unit.
# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary
13 C Pavel Short-Bus 5-11 185 30 36 15 26 41 15 8 6 1 1 105 14.3 $6,700,000
81 R Marian Hossa 6-1 210 29 36 17 17 34 12 28 2 0 4 153 11.1 $7,450,000
40 C Henrik Zetterberg 6-0 190 28 34 14 17 31 8 18 7 0 2 140 10 $2,900,000
26 L Faggy McFagFag 5-9 178 24 36 13 16 29 4 2 4 0 2 74 17.6 $1,150,000
28 D Brian Rafalski 5-10 195 35 36 4 23 27 8 12 2 0 0 69 5.8 $6,000,000
93 L Johan Franzen 6-2 210 29 31 17 9 26 7 24 5 1 5 104 16.3 $1,150,000
37 R Mikael Samuelsson 6-2 211 32 35 7 18 25 3 22 2 0 0 106 6.6 $1,200,000
5 D Nicklas Lindstrom 6-1 190 38 34 5 19 24 13 10 3 0 2 79 6.3 $7,450,000
96 R Tomas Holmstrom 5-11 185 35 28 11 12 23 14 16 7 0 1 44 25 $2,250,000
11 R Daniel Cleary 6-0 211 30 28 6 12 18 4 18 1 0 2 66 9.1 $2,500,000
55 D Niklas Kronwall 6-0 185 27 35 2 15 17 -3 28 1 0 1 49 4.1 $3,000,000
51 C Valtteri Filppula 5-11 202 24 36 5 11 16 5 26 0 0 0 53 9.4 $2,000,000
3 D Andreas Lilja 6-3 228 33 34 1 9 10 7 30 0 0 0 32 3.1 $1,250,000
22 D Brett Lebda 5-10 195 26 32 2 5 7 1 26 0 0 0 33 6.1 $650,000
82 L Tomas Kopecky 6-3 205 26 36 2 4 6 -5 18 1 0 0 43 4.7 $525,000
23 D Brad Stuart 6-2 220 29 35 1 5 6 0 14 0 0 0 67 1.5 $3,750,000
33 C Kris Draper 5-10 190 37 36 2 3 5 -10 22 0 1 0 48 4.2 $1,850,000
18 R Kirk Maltby 6-0 190 36 34 2 2 4 -5 16 0 0 0 26 7.7 $950,000
14 D Derek Meech 5-11 185 24 16 1 2 3 -4 6 0 0 0 16 6.3 $475,000
25 R Darren McCarty* 6-1 210 36 13 1 0 1 -2 25 0 0 0 6 16.7 $569,000
24 D Judas 6-1 190 46 3 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 0 0 0 $750,000
Totals/Averages 6-0 198.33 31.14 128 225 72 373 41 3 1313 9.75% $54,519,000
...IS THIS THE YEAR?
# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary
30 Osgood, Chris 5-10 181 36 19 1127 3.19 12 2 4 0 482 60 0.876 0 1 0 $1,700,000
29 Conklin, Ty 6-0 184 32 17 1002 2.43 12 5 1 3 511 43 0.916 0 0 2 $750,000
Totals/Averages 5-11 182 34 36 2129 2.81 24 7 5 3 993 103 0.896 0 1 2 $2,450,000
TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,096,000
CAP SPACE: $274,000
*space also affected by buyouts and injured players
SCUM 24-7-5
*injured
Injury ListChrisOsgood-Questionable(Groin)DarrenMcCarty-Out(Asshole)NicklasLindstrom-Questionable(Ankle)
Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing
96Holmstrom 13Datsyuk 93Franzen11Cleary 40Zetterberg 81Hossa26Hudler 51Filppula 37Samuelsson18Maltby 33Draper 82Kopecky
Probable Pairings5Lindstrom 28Rafalski55Kronwall 25Stuart3Lilja 22Lebda
During the Olympics in Salt Lake in 2002, Zetterberg carried the label “Best Player Outside The NHL.” Soon after, Tuomo Ruutu carried it. We can’t think of a clearer indication of the difference that used to exist between the two organi-zations, and one that the Hawks still have much to do to close.
We’ve all heard the theory that Kronw
all will step into Lindstrom
’s shoes. We don’t buy it.
His Behind the N
et Rating has been nevgative twice in the past three years.
We really shouldn’t be shocked how Conklin’s performed. Every season he has gotten significant playing time his GAA has been below 2.50 and SV% above .900.
The Committed Indian’s Guide To Wrigleyville
WeunderstandthattodaymaymeanyourfirstjourneytotheLakeviewneighborhood--eitherinalongtime,orever--becauseeventhoughJohnMcDonoughmaynotknowit,notallHawksfansareCubsfans.Perhapsyoualsohaven’tcomeherebecauseoftheridiculouscondopricesandrent,orhaveneverhadtheneedtodrinkMillerLitewhileBritneySpearsblastsonthePA.Sowethoughtwe’dintroduceyoutotheHawkshomefortheday.
The Area
Wrigleyvilleisvibrantarea.ItissometimescalledRoofie-paloozaorThePlaceBeneathTheTreesWhereNobodySeesWhereTheDate-
RapistsGoToHaveTheirPicnic.Itischoc-fullofbarswhoseclientellewouldbeconsidered“upscale”or“douchey”.AcruisedownClarkSt.at2amwillofferplentyofviewingofmenincollared,blueshirtspeeinginalleysandwom-eninexpensiveshoesvomitingoncabswhileproclaiming“I’macatch!WhyamIalone?”
The People
ResidentsofWrigleyvilleareawell-to-dobunch.You’llfindplentyofdegreesfromBigTenschoolshere.OnSaturdayafternoons
you’llfindabevyofhot,youngwomenwearingfootballjerseys,whichisadmittedlysexyasallhell.Unfortunately,thatfeelingisruinedwhensaidgirltalks.FormerfraternitybrothersandsororitysistersaboundinWrigleyville,andaf-terabriefconversationwithanyofthem,you’llquicklyseewhytheypaidforfriendsincollege.
The Home Dugout
ThisiswheretheHawkswillenterthefieldfrom.Normally,thisspacehousesateamofmental-midgetswhointhemostimportantsituationsswingwildlyatlowslidersbeforeurinatingdowntheirownleg.Thedugoutisalsothought--byblitheringmorons--tocontainacursethathaskeptitsnormaloccu-pantspennant-lessfor64yearsandcounting.Unfortunatelyforall,oneofthoseblitheringmoronsischairmanofthebaseballteam.
The Bleachers
Today,forthefirsttimeincloseto20years,thisfamoussectionofWrigleyFieldwillbeseat-ingpatronswhohaveactuallycometowatchthesportingeventonthefield.Customarily,thesestandsarefilledwithdrunkenkidsandtour-istsfromIowa.Theyareanidioticbunch,whoarepronetolitterthefieldwithgarbagefortheslightestinjustice,suchasabadcallorastiffbreeze.Vomitandtitsaplenty.Braincells?Not
somuch.
What To Watch For: Somehow, we get the feeling NBC has told the NHL that if there are any fights they’ll pull the plug on the broadcast. No way Bettman is going to have his signature event sullied by something that entertains people even more.
No siree bob. In addition, it’s not hard to fathom that no one wants to get punched in the face when it’s 20 degrees out. How-ever, with emotions running high, the Hawks may want to rally the crowd behind them even more by throwing their weight around against the pansy-fied Wings. It could lead to shenanigans. We’re calling for Wiz to make his mark on national TV.
Team Opp PPG PP%PHI 141 38 27DET 146 39 26.7BOS 132 33 25CHI 148 35 23.6WSH 153 35 22.9SJS 172 38 22.1MIN 146 32 21.9STL 162 35 21.6TOR 159 33 20.8ATL 151 31 20.5ANA 142 29 20.4BUF 163 32 19.6EDM 159 30 18.9LAK 167 31 18.6PIT 163 30 18.4
Team OPP PPG PP%NYI 162 29 17.9OTT 146 26 17.8CGY 169 30 17.8VAN 173 30 17.3COL 157 27 17.2NJD 122 20 16.4DAL 156 23 14.7MTL 164 24 14.6CAR 179 26 14.5TBL 159 23 14.5FLA 139 20 14.4NYR 176 25 14.2PHX 166 23 13.9NSH 153 21 13.7CBJ 161 17 10.6
Power PlayTeam TS PPGA PK%MIN 134 15 88.8NYR 152 18 88.2SJS 139 18 87BUF 146 19 87CHI 138 20 85.5CGY 157 23 85.4LAK 161 26 83.8PHI 185 31 83.2FLA 155 26 83.2OTT 149 26 82.6NSH 176 31 82.4BOS 136 24 82.4MTL 164 29 82.3VAN 185 33 82.2CBJ 157 29 81.5
Team TS PPGA PK%PIT 151 28 81.5
ANA 202 38 81.2NYI 174 33 81NJD 135 26 80.7TBL 184 36 80.4PHX 151 30 80.1STL 165 33 80WSH 174 35 79.9DET 149 30 79.9COL 148 31 79CAR 144 32 77.8DAL 141 33 76.6EDM 151 38 74.8TOR 130 33 74.6ATL 153 41 73.2
Penalty Kill
GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Nose
Black Eye
Bruised Ego
Just Dancing
Analysis
4-2-08 Wiz v.Downey
2nd.9:43 x Lot of haymakers thrown, few land. Downey
on points.
11-11-07 Sharp v.Kopecky
2nd.16:23 x Sharp with one of his few, but always suc-
cessful, forays into the fisticuffs. Takes it in a decision
10-12-07 Burish v.Drake
1st.19:47 x Burish takes on all-world prick, lands a
couple jabs. Drake does the same thing he does with wife, i.e. punches while opponent
is prone. Draw
10-6-28 Wiz v.Drake
1st.6:10 x x Wiz lands some heavy shots. Drake again
waits for wife-position. Wiz in KO.
HAWKS vs. SCUMFightStatsprovidedbyHockeyfights.com
The Fight Card
BulletinWe have reliable intelligence that suggests this abortion of a celebrity Will
be in attendance today. likely to be flocking to a camera like a moth to a flame, albeit a talentless, lard-filled moth. can also be spotted after the 2nd period
if haWks are losing, as he Will remove his haWks jersey and put on a XXXXXXl detroit chelios jersey. should attract many snoWballs and beer cups, but not ones throWn by fans. his gravitational pull Will take care of that. if you see this man, resist urge to have contact in any Way. his lack of ability in conta-
gious, and you don’t Want to get fired from Whatever you do.
KNOW THY ENEMY
Hawks-SCUM: the Last 4
Dec. 30th, 2008: Hawks 0, Scum 4Well, you all saw it. Hawks power-play does ev-erything, including serving beer, but doesn’t man-age to score. Dumb penalties lead to power-play
goals and Conklin standing on his head.
Dec. 6th, 2008: Hawks 4, Scum 5 (SO)After going down 2, Hawks spend rest of 1st and
2nd periods bashing Scum’s skull in. Take foot off the gas in 3rd, and Scum plow through. Lose in
skills competition when no Hawks can beat Ty Fuck-ing Conklin.
Oct. 25th, 2008: Scum 6, Hawks 5 (SO)Absolute thriller. Both teams have extended pas-sages of domination. Hawks surrender 3 straight goals in 3rd --some of them works of art --to go
from 4-2 up to 5-4 down. Kane ties it late in 3rd, but Hawks fall in Home Run Derby.
Apr. 2nd, 2008: Scum 2, Hawks 6Yeah, so we ignored the last game of last season. So what? Wasn’t meaningful to either team. This one was, and man was it sweet. A Patrick Kane tour-de-force with 3 points leads to total ass-kicking. Bis-
cuit laying out Downey the highlight.
We are loathe to waste space on behalf of any fan of Scum, and we didn’t think we could find any who spoke in complete sentences. However, we found Christy from Winging It In Motown (www.wingin-gitinmotown.com). For someone from the Motor-Ain’t-Running City, she seems a jovial lass. So, against our better judgment, here she is to provide answers to our questions about the Sister-Chasers.
Q: Though the Wings are still in the upper echelons of the league, it’s hard not to notice your defensive frailties. Are Scum fans con-cerned about that moving forward?A: Wings fans are certainly concerned about our defense. Not as much as goaltending, but it’s definitely been an issue this season. It’s amazing that we have the same group of defensive guys as last season after the trade deadline, yet we just haven’t gotten it together for whatever reason. Fortunately our offense has been fantastic and that’s kept us going, but we definitely need to get the defense in gear if we hope to make it a long playoff run.You’ve got some free agent headaches coming up, with Zetterberg, Franzen, and Samuelsson all due big raises. Who’s going to be the casualty?We actually have even more headaches than that. Even though it’s not likely, Marian Hossa is still a possibility plus we have to worry about restricted free agent Jiri Hudler, who has had a fantastic season thus far. Realistically, the Wings can only keep two of the big three (Zetterberg, Franzen, and Hossa) and Samuelsson and Hudler’s fate will depend on the salaries of the big two players. If I had to guess, I would say we re-sign Zetterberg (a given), Franzen, and Hudler. Should the Wings win the Cup, Hossa is definitely gone but if not, we may see GM Ken Hol-land keep Zetterberg and Hossa and look to our up and coming prospects to fill in the void left by Franzen, Samuelsson, and Hudler.One of your more annoying habits, out of the hundreds, is that you always seem to pick up the exact player you need at the deadline. Will that player be a goalie this year? If not, what other position might you try and improve?To be honest, I really don’t see the Wings doing much if anything this year at the trade deadline. The reason is that we are right up against the salary cap so it would have to be a pretty even trade (rather than a prospect or two) for it to even be possible for us. Goaltending would be the most likely position for something to happen especially if someone should get injured (knock on wood), but I honestly believe Holland is going to stick to his current lineup. If anything, we may bring up a pros-
pect from the AHL to try and change things up if complacancy is getting to be a problem.You lost Kyle Quincey earlier this year due to your aged logjam. Are there worries that more of your prospects will have to go else-where? And who are they?Yes, it’s always a concern that we might have to lose a prospect because there just isn’t enough room for him. That being said, the key prospects for us are not going anywhere. On defense, Jonathan Ericsson and Jakub Kindl are our big up and comers. On offense, it’s Darren Helm, Justin Abdelkader, Mattias Ritola, and Cory Emmerton. We have a few other players (Ryan Oulahen, Evan McGrath, Darren Haydar, Randall Gelech) that will become RFAs this summer, but aren’t the blue chip players like Kyle Quincey that I would be really worried about losing to another NHL team.After your 6-0 thrashing of the Sharks a couple weeks back, how do Scum fans think they match up with them in the playoffs (not that it matters, we’re taking you out in the 2nd round)?I’m pretty sure most Wings fans would agree with me, but the two teams I would least like to face in the postseason are the Blackhawks and Sharks. The Sharks are a scary thought because they now play pretty much the same style we do thanks to former Wings assistant coach turned Sharks head coach Todd McLellan. Plus, their players are bigger so it would definitely be a physical and challenging series that would probably go six or seven games. I still believe the Wings would pull it out (if everyone stays healthy), but despite the blowout game it should be a tight series.Obviously, today’s game has been run through the hype machine like there’s no tomorrow here in Chicago. What’s the coverage been like leading up to it in Detroit (though we know no one in Detroit can afford to buy a newspaper)?The coverage hasn’t been bad and there certainly is a buzz around town about today’s game. However, we have had a couple big news events that have overshadowed the events leading up to the game. First, it was the whole auto bailout fiasco and now it’s how the Detroit Lions went 0-16 for the first time in NFL history. But to be fair, it’s hard to cover the events leading up to the game as well as NHL.com or a Chicago newspaper when the Detroit papers don’t have anyone reporting in Chi-cago in the couple weeks before the game. The coverage of the actual game should be great though.
Referee Stats For The HawksReferees 1st NHL
GameHawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks
PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/
GameW L OTL
2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 2 9 14 11.5 4.5 7.0 2 0 0
3 Leggo, Mike 1997 1 2 1 3.0 2.0 1.0 0 0 1
4 McCauley, Wes 2003 4 10 11 5.3 2.5 2.8 2 1 0
5 Rooney, Chris 2000 - - - - - - - - -
6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0
7 McCreary, Bill 1984 2 8 7 7.5 4.0 3.5 2 1 0
8 Jackson, Dave 1990 3 14 13 9.0 4.7 4.3 2 1 0
10 Devorski, Paul 1989 1 5 6 11.0 5.0 6.0 0 1 0
11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 - - - - - - - - -
12 Koharski, Don 1981 1 6 7 13.0 6.0 7.0 1 0 0
13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 2 12 10 11.0 6.0 5.0 1 0 1
14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 4 17 16 8.3 4.3 4.0 3 0 1
15 Auger, Stephane 2000 3 12 10 7.3 4.0 3.3 2 0 1
16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1
18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 4 20 21 10.3 5.0 5.3 3 1 0
20 Peel, Tim 1999 1 7 8 15.0 7.0 8.0 1 0 0
21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 2 6 4 5.0 3.0 2.0 1 0 1
23 Watson, Brad 1996 2 7 4 5.5 3.5 2.0 1 0 1
25 Joannette, Marc 1999 2 13 5 9.0 6.5 2.5 1 0 1
26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0
27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 0 0 1
28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0
29 Walsh, Ian 2000 - - - - - - - - -
30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 2 11 7 9.0 5.5 3.5 0 1 1
32 Kowal, Tom 2000 3 11 76 29.0 3.7 25.3 3 0 0
33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 2 7 9 8.0 3.5 4.5 1 0 1
34 Meier, Brad 1999 3 12 14 8.7 4.0 4.7 3 0 0
35 Warren, Dean 1999 - - - - - - - - -
36 Morton, Dean 2000 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 0 1 0
38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1
39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1
40 Kozari, Steve 2006 3 18 12 10.0 6.0 4.0 2 1 0
42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 2 11 13 12.0 5.5 6.5 1 0 1
43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 - - - - - - - - -
45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 4 19 15 8.5 4.8 3.8 2 0 2
If you’d like to contribute to The Committed Indian, or just want to tell us what you think, or call us asshats, feel free to email us at committedindian@
gmail.com. Every guest contributor will have a chance at a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports!
The Committed IndianThe best toilet reading around
ChicagoNAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATINGAaron Johnson 19 -0.11 -0.22 11.24 32.91 3.37 0.48 2.89Andrew Ladd 33 0.07 0.16 12.49 33.08 2.33 0.38 1.95Duncan Keith 33 0.06 0.21 19.22 26.36 1.51 0.48 1.03Matt Walker 21 -0.06 -0.25 12.31 34.13 1.86 0.84 1.02Martin Havlat 33 -0.02 0.03 13.41 32.16 1.63 0.62 1.00Kris Versteeg 32 0.05 -0.09 12.96 32.83 1.59 0.63 0.96Dave Bolland 33 0.08 0.45 11.90 33.67 1.37 0.76 0.62Brent Seabrook 33 0.08 0.39 17.37 28.20 1.15 0.77 0.38Troy Brouwer 27 -0.03 -0.27 11.80 33.93 1.32 1.18 0.14Dustin Byfuglien 30 -0.01 0.22 12.28 32.76 0.98 0.92 0.06Patrick Kane 33 0.03 -0.08 14.21 31.36 0.90 0.93 -0.03Jonathan Toews 33 0.02 0.13 13.40 32.17 0.81 0.96 -0.15Colin Fraser 33 -0.12 -0.68 7.57 38.00 0.72 0.96 -0.24Brian Campbell 33 -0.05 -0.24 18.13 27.44 0.60 1.13 -0.52Ben Eager 29 -0.14 -0.40 7.71 37.95 0.27 1.36 -1.09Patrick Sharp 33 -0.04 0.07 13.59 31.98 -0.13 1.36 -1.50Craig Adams 20 -0.17 -0.43 7.35 40.15 -0.82 0.97 -1.79Brent Sopel 23 -0.12 -0.01 10.89 34.84 -0.96 0.97 -1.93Cam Barker 24 -0.05 -0.14 14.65 31.37 -0.68 2.07 -2.75Adam Burish 19 -0.05 -0.16 6.29 37.65 -2.01 1.26 -3.27
ScumNAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATING
Tomas Holmstrom 27 0.05 0.83 11.59 33.86 2.49 -0.07 2.56Pavel Datsyuk 35 0.04 0.67 13.09 32.75 2.1 -0.16 2.25Marian Hossa 35 0.03 0.79 13.05 32.79 1.44 0.1 1.34Nicklas Lindstrom 34 0.12 0.59 16.06 29.83 1.32 0 1.32Daniel Cleary 27 -0.07 0 12.36 33.37 0.9 0.27 0.63Brian Rafalski 35 0.11 0.71 16.65 29.19 0.82 0.29 0.53Valttieri Flippula 35 -0.03 -0.23 13.15 32.69 0.78 0.37 0.41Henrik Zetterberg 33 0.08 0.16 14.34 31.39 0.89 0.52 0.37Mikael Samuelsson 35 0.04 0.04 12.8 33.04 0.67 0.42 0.25Johan Franzen 30 0.11 0.18 14.18 32.2 0.71 0.5 0.21Andreas Lilja 33 -0.14 -0.42 12.94 32.99 0.42 0.39 0.04Jiri Hudler 35 -0.06 -0.21 10.48 35.36 0.49 0.48 0.01Brett Lebda 31 -0.13 -0.37 13.12 32.92 0.59 0.71 -0.12Brad Stuart 34 -0.02 -0.12 16.71 28.98 -0.11 0.91 -1.02Niklas Kronwall 34 -0.02 -0.09 17.17 28.75 -0.21 0.86 -1.06Kirk Maltby 33 -0.1 -1.11 7.75 38.07 -1.17 0.81 -1.99Tomas Kopecky 35 -0.11 -0.55 9.21 36.63 -1.12 0.89 -2.01Derek Meech 15 -0.17 -0.79 9.38 37.32 -1.71 0.64 -2.35Darren McCarty 13 -0.17 -1.19 5.28 38.82 -1.75 0.83 -2.58Kris Draper 35 -0.06 -0.66 9.76 36.08 -2.11 1.19 -3.3
Hockey SabermetricsWe expanded to 16 pages partly so we could provide you with the Behind The Net numbers every night. So here they are for both teams. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. Example: Kane has faced the toughest opppostion at +.12 QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. TOF/60- Time spent off-ice, per 60 minutes, at full strength. +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.
not including last game
not including last game
Corsi RatingHere’s how the teams match up in Corsi Rating, which measure how many shots are attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a given player is on
the ice, per 60 min.Chicago
NAME CORSIMartin Havlat 14.2
Andrew Ladd 13.3
Dave Bolland 12.1
Duncan Keith 10.8
Brian Campbell 10.8
Matt Walker 9.5
Dustin Byfuglien 9.3
Brent Seabrook 8.8
Patrick Kane 7.7
Kris Versteeg 7.5
Jonathan Toews 5.8
Patrick Sharp 5.1
Troy Brouwer 4.9
Craig Adams 4.9
Cam Barker 4.8
Ben Eager 3.5
Aaron Johnson 3.1
Colin Fraser 1.7
Adam Burish 1
Brent Sopel -4.3
ScumNAME CORSI
Marian Hossa 25.2
Johan Franzen 24.8
Henrik Zetterberg 20.9
Tomas Holmstrom 20.7
Brian Rafalski 19.1
Jiri Hudler 19
Niklas Kronwall 18.7
Pavel Datsyuk 18.5
Mikael Samuelsson 17.9
Nicklas Lindstrom 16.9
Valttieri Flippula 16.3
Andreas Lilja 14.1
Brad Stuart 12.6
Brett Lebda 12.1
Daniel Cleary 9.3
Tomas Kopecky 8.6
Kirk Maltby 8.2
Derek Meech 0.9
Kris Draper -1.8
Darren McCarty -21.8
Penalties Drawn vs. TakenPretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn vs. taken, per 60 min.
ChicagoNAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60
Burish 2 1
Fraser 1.7 1
Versteeg 1.6 0.9
Adams 1.6 0.4
Brouwer 1.5 0.9
Sharp 1.5 1.2
Bolland 1.4 0.8
Kane 1.4 1
Toews 1.1 0.9
Eager 1.1 2.7
Ladd 1 0.9
Havlat 0.8 0.7
Byfuglien 0.8 1.1
Johnson 0.6 1.4
Walker 0.5 0.2
Campbell 0.5 0.1
Sopel 0.5 1
Keith 0.2 0.5
Seabrook 0.2 1.2
Barker 0 0.5
ScumNAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60
Zetterberg 2 0.5
Hossa 1.7 1.4
Kopecky 1.5 1.5
Holmstrom 1.3 1.2
Datsyuk 1.2 0.4
Filppula 1.2 0.9
Maltby 1.2 1.2
Hudler 1.1 0.2
Draper 1.1 1.4
Franzen 1 0.7
Samuelsson 0.5 0.9
Kronwall 0.5 1.2
Cleary 0.4 0.9
Stuart 0.4 0.5
Lilja 0.3 1
Rafalski 0.1 0.4
Lebda 0.1 1.5
Lindstrom 0 0.4
Meech 0 1.3
McCarty 0 0
ChicagoPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%
Jonathan Toews 527 54.1
Dave Bolland 459 46.2
Patrick Sharp 398 43.7
Colin Fraser 344 48
Kris Versteeg 48 45.8
Total Rank: 26th 47.5
ScumPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%
Pavel Datsyuk 607 57.3
Henrik Zetterberg 529 53.3
Kris Draper 460 60.4
Valtteri Filppula 286 51
Johan Franzen 83 57.8
Daniel Cleary 67 50.7
Total Rank: 1st 55.6
NHL LEADERS
Points
Player Team P
1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 592 A. Ovechkin WAS 493 Sidney Crosby PIT 494 Marc Savard BOS 435 Zach Parise NJ 4210 Patrick Kane CHI 41
Goals
Player Team G
1 Jeff Carter PHI 262 A. Ovechkin WAS 253 Tomas Vanek BUF 254 Phil Kessel BOS 225 Zach Parise NJ 206 Patrick Sharp CHI 19
GAA
Player Team GAA
1 Steve Mason CBJ 1.782 M. Fernandez BOS 2.023 Tim Thomas BOS 2.044 S. Clemmensen NJ 2.155 Roberto Luongo VAN 2.179 Cristobal Huet CHI 2.30
SV%
Player Team SV%
1 Craig Anderson FLA .9362 Tim Thomas BOS .9353 Steve Mason CBJ .9354 M. Fernandez BOS .9305 Jonas Hiller ANA .92910 N. Khabibulin CHI .921
Face-Offs
Hockey Sabermetrics
*as of 12/31
We can’t tell you how thrilled we are to have Puck Daddy, Greg Wyshynski, in today’s issue. Greg writes the best hockey site going, Yahoo’s Puck Daddy blog (sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy). It’s simply a must-read for any hockey fan, and the fact that he has stooped to our level today, well, we’re just chuffed.
It’s hard to improve on perfection. That’s why there’s no “Born to Run 2: Born Runner” or McDonald’s waffle fries or another Katie Holmes nude scene after “The Gift.” The first two editions of the NHL’s Winter Classic are, in the context of the League’s many missteps, close to perfection: The Pittsburgh Penguins and Sidney Crosby facing the Buffalo Sabres in a picturesque snow globe that attracted a huge television audience; and then the Detroit Red Wings and Chicago Blackhawks capturing casual fan attention again with a game in Wrigley Field. Assuming the 2009 edition goes as planned, it’ll be another success. But this is Gary Bettman’s NHL we’re talking about here; success is a fleeting endowment, a temporary euphoria. We can only assume, as puckheads, that they’re going to find a way to screw this up. So here are 10 ways to make the Winter Classic so ridiculously awesome that it’s as close to Bettman-proof as one can get without the benefit of garlic and a stake:
Let the players be players on New Year’s Eve: Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres told me that the players were expected to be “professional at all times” on Winter Classic Eve, despite it being the second-greatest party night of the year (behind Leafs Elimination Day). What a waste. Let the boys be boys, and at the very least you’d have a few guys still shaking off the whiskey haze during the game, pulling a Brophy from “Slap Shot” and begging guys not to throw’em against the boards for fear that they’d piss themselves. Or, if we’re lucky, some player will stumble onto the ice two periods late wearing only a two-day stubble, women’s underwear and a look that says the last 24 hours have been permanently wiped from his memory.
Saturate the sinners: If we’re playing to the casual fans, then we need to keep the game as clean as possible; we’re not going to trick a newbie into spending $85 for a lower bowl ticket if they discover NHL games are actually 60 minutes of holding, hugging and violent acts with lumber. So if you’re sent to the penalty box during the Winter Classic, you’re going to learn your lesson by getting doused with a bucket of freezing cold water. And we’re not talking a dribble here; we’re talking a “You Can’t Do That on Television” flood from the heavens. And that’s how you get rid of obstruction, folks: with massive shrinkage and the threat of pneumonia.
Dress the goalies like Randy from “A Christmas Story.”: A per-fect way to tie into holiday tradition, keep the goalies safe with extra padding and increase goal-scoring … by dressing them in snowsuits that keep their arms suspended in the air at all times. Shoot ‘till their eyes are out, kids.
Instead of the shootout, ice ball throwing: The shootout might be a nice way to wrap up a pedestrian regular season game, but this is the Winter Classic we’re talking about. So scrap the skills competi-tion and decide a winner by seeing which team can take the most ice balls to the face without openly weeping. Not only because it har-kens back to those halcyon days of misbehaving lads playing shinny on the pond, but because it has about as much to do with actual hockey as deciding the winner of a game with a shooter, a goalie, blind luck and no passing or defensemen involved.
Change the announcers: No disrespect to Doc Emrick and the rest of the NBC crew, but the Winter Classic demands a different approach. We nominate Dan Rather for the folksy clichés (“It’s colder than Granny’s stare with your hand caught in the cookie jar”); Barry Melrose for the hung-over pseudo-analysis and stylish Mafioso winter wear; and Denis Leary to call all the players pussies for either being cold and/or not hailing from the greater Boston area.
Get Dick Clark to sing “The Hockey Song” during the second pe-riod: OK, so he sounds like Tom Carvel nowadays. But the man IS New Year’s, and we’d sure as hell take him over Ryan Seacrest. Then again, we’d take Def Leppard using the Stanley Cup as a urination trough over Ryan Seacrest, too.
Get the local NBA team’s dance squad as ice girls: No offense to the talented lasses who shovel snow and toss T-shirts for the NHL, but the NBA probably still takes the award for best-looking in-arena eye candy. So hire the local Spirit Explosion or Dance-gasm or whatever they’re called, and put the bas-ketball beauties to work as Winter Classic Ice Girls. Because there’s nothing funnier than a hot broad falling on skates, and because sexy women plus icy temps equals … well, just ask Letterman why his
studio is always so cold.
Allow Tampa Bay Lightning owner Oren Koules to produce the game: There’s no discernable defense from either team. Both coaches are fired 16 minutes into the Classic. And a creepy puppet keeps asking players if they’d like to play a game.
Have a pond hockey team from a small Alaskan town take on the New York Rangers in a televised outdoor exhibition game: And maybe, you know, get Burt Reynolds to coach them.
Finally, play the game at Vostok Station, Antarctica: The lowest reliably measured temperature on Earth was recorded there in 1983, at minus-128.6 degrees Fahrenheit. Average temperature: minus-85 degrees. Any other Winter Classic is just a Classic.
Greg Wyshynski is the editor of the Puck Daddy blog on Yahoo! Sports. He was recently named the 100th most powerful and influ-ential person in hockey by The Hockey News, if you can believe that shit.
Puck Daddy
Greg Wyshynski
Improving on perfection: 10 ways to make the Winter Classic Completely Rule
The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks
YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997
Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001)Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998)Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001)
2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000)Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations.Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001)
Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995)
2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003)Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001)
2005-2006 Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006
Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992)
2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round)Dave Bolland (2nd round)Troy Brouwer (7th round)
2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round)Corey Crawford (2nd round)Dustin Byfuglien (8th round)
Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990)
2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)James Wisniewski (5th round)Adam Burish (9th round)
COACHESHead Coach-Joel QuennevilleAssistant Coach-John TorchettiAssistant Coach-Mike HavilandAssistant Coach- Marc BergevinGoaltending Coach-Stephane Waite
GM HISTORYDale Tallon (2005-Present)Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck-ing Times)Mike Smith (2001-2004)Bob Murray (1999-2000)
info in part provided by hockeyreference.com
The Making ofScum
YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Marian Hossa (OTT 1st round
1997)Ty Conklin (EDM Undrafted FA 2001)
2007-2008 Brad Stuart (SJ 1st round 1998) from LAK for 2008 2nd round pick and 2009 4th round pick
Darren McCarty (DET 2nd round 1992)Brian Rafalski (NJ Undrafted FA 1999)
2006-20072005-2006 Daniel Cleary (CHI 1st round
1997)Mikael Samuelsson (SJ 5th round 1998)Andreas Lilja (LAK 2nd round 2000)Chris Osgood (DET 3rd round 1995)
2004-2005 Johan Franzen (3rd round)
2003-2004 Brett Lebda (Undrafted FA)2002-2003 Jiri Hudler (2nd round)
Valtteri Filppula (3rd round)Derek Meech (7th round)
2000-2001 Niklas Kronwall (1st round)Tomas Kopecky (2nd round)
1999-2000 Henrik Zetterberg (7th round)
1998-1999 Pavel Datsyuk (6th round) Judas (MTL 2nd round 1981) from CHI for Anders Eriksson (DET 1st round 1993), 1999 1st round pick, and 2001 1st round pick
1995-1996 Kirk Maltby (EDM 3rd round 1992) from EDM for Dan McGillis (DET 10th round 1992)
1994-1995 Tomas Holmstrom (10th round)
1993-1994 Kris Draper (WIN 3rd round 1989) from WIN for future considerations
1989-1990 Nicklas Lindstrom (3rd round)
GM HISTORY1996-Present: Ken Holland
COACHESHead Coach-Mike BabcockAsst. Coach- Paul MacLean
Asst. Coach- Brad McCrimmonGoaltending Coach- Jim Bedard
info in part provided by hockeyreference.com
Playing at home............ 11-1-4Playing on road........... 9-6-3Scoring first.......... 11-2-2Opponent scores first........ 9-5-5Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 3-0-1Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 8-1-3Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ................. 0-0-0Playing on a Monday.............. 1-1-1 Playing on a Tuesday................ 2-1-0Playing on a Wednesday........... 4-0-2Playing on a Thursday.............. 0-0-0Playing on a Friday................ 4-2-1Playing on a Saturday............. 3-2-3Playing on a Sunday................ 5-1-0Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 19-5-6Are out-muscled by opponent.... 7-7-3Outshoot opponent....... 13-4-2Are outshot by opponenet.... 7-3-5Havlat shies from contact......... 16-6-6Patrick Kane scores............... 8-3-2Jonathan Toews scores.......... 3-0-3Martin Havlat scores............. 5-0-1Patrick Sharp scores............ 12-2-2Dustin Byfuglien scores......... 4-0-1Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 17-6-5Andrew Ladd scores............. 6-0-1Dave Bolland scores......... 5-0-1Adam Burish scores....... HA!51 Phantom scores....... 3-1-1Duncan Keith scores........ 2-2-0Brent Seabrook scores...... 4-0-0Aaron Johnson scores.... 2-0-1Troy Brouwer scores.... 4-0-0Scoring a Power Play goal....... 16-2-6Not scoring a Power Play goal... 4-5-1Allowing a Power Play goal...... 7-4-7Not Allowing a Power Play goal....... 13-3-0Scoring a short-handed goal........... 2-1-0
Allowing a short-handed goal......... 1-1-1Taking 30 or more shots......... 16-4-4Taking less than 30 shots..... 4-3-1Allowing 30 shots or more...... 10-3-5Allowing 30 shots or less......... 10-4-2100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 10-1-41st of a back-to-back...... 2-2-22nd of a back-to-back..... 4-2-0Opponent played night before.... 4-1-1Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 6-2-3Burish takes a penalty....... 4-3-2Keith takes a penalty......... 5-1-2Sharp takes a penalty....... 8-2-2Toews takes a penalty..... 6-1-2Havlat takes a penalty.... 4-0-0Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-551 Phantom blows a coverage...... 13-5-6Toews is trying too hard...... 3-5-2At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-2No fights in 300 Level..... 10-1-2Playing Eastern Conference..... 3-2-1Playing Western Conference..... 17-5-6Playing Central Division...... 2-1-5Playing Northwest Division.... 9-1-0Playing Pacific Division 6-3-1Playing Atlantic Division 1-1-0Playing NASCAR Division 0-1-0Playing Northeast Division 2-0-1Playing in October.... 4-3-3Playing in November.... 6-3-3Playing in December...... 10-1-1Playing in January..... 0-0-0Playing in February..... 0-0-0Playing in March...... 0-0-0Playing in April...... 0-0-0UC plays really stupid goal song..... 11-1-4Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 2-4-2Getting obliterated on face-offs....... 7-6-4Are even close on face-offs..... 13-1-3
Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 19-7-7Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D during 4-on-4........ 19-7-7We fantasize about shooting Eddie O.... 19-7-7We’re ecstatic Pat Foley is back...... 19-6-7Ice-girls wear skirts....... 4-0-3Ice-girls wear pants....... 3-1-0ice-girls wear shorts.... 4-0-1Ice-girls wear hideous pink outfit....... 1-0-0Leading after 2 periods...... 15-1-3Losing after 2 periods...... 1-4-2Tied after 2 periods......... 4-2-2In overtime.......... 2-2In shootout....... 2-5Cam Barker plays....... 15-4-4Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 3-2-3Lacking a #2 center........ 20-7-7In 1-goal games..... 5-3-7In 2-goal games...... 5-2-0In 3-goal games....... 4-1-0In 4+ goal games...... 5-1-0Scoring 3+ goals..... 13-1-4Scoring less than 3 goals...... 0-6-3PA plays Ministry....... 0-0-0PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 11-1-4PA plays Classic Cock-Rock....... 7-1-4PA plays P.J. Harvey........ 0-0-0Frasier fights...... 5-2-1Burish fights....... 4-1-0Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0Barker fights......... 0-0-1Buff fights......... 0-0-2Sharp fights........ 0-0-0Eager fights.......... 6-0-1On Comcast...... 15-3-4On WGN....... 5-3-3On Vs........ 0-1-0Judd Sirott swears a lot off-air 20-7-7Committed Indian is sold outside... 7-1-2Editor of Committed Indian bleeds on programs........ 1-0-0
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