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© Andy Hunt, Practical Wellbeing 2013 Why Always Is Never A Good Idea! Andy Hunt Practical Wellbeing

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© Andy Hunt, Practical Wellbeing 2013

Why Always Is Never A Good Idea!

Andy HuntPractical Wellbeing

What to expect

This webinar is about how to:● Beliefs and how they are formed● One common form of limiting belief● How to tackle those kinds of belief using EFT

Problem: Life Is Complicated

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Solution: Simplify

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How Do We Simplify?

Generalise Experience

Is There A Dog?

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Warning!

Generalisations Have Side Effects

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One Word Limitations

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● Very common● Rarely noticed● Subtly limiting● Easy to change

Meet The Universals

● Always

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything – Everything goes wrong

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything – Everything goes wrong● Nothing

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything – Everything goes wrong● Nothing – Nothing I do seems to work

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything – Everything goes wrong● Nothing – Nothing I do seems to work● All

Meet The Universals

● Always – I always get it wrong● Never – He never listens to me● Everybody – Everybody hates me● Nobody – Nobody pays any attention to me● Everything – Everything goes wrong● Nothing – Nothing I do seems to work● All – All men are selfish

The Consequences

● Creates mental blinkers

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The Consequences

● Creates mental blinkers

● Sets your expectations

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The Consequences

● Creates mental blinkers

● Sets your expectations

● Changes your behaviour

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Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

You would be:● Suspicious of everyone you met

Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

You would be:● Suspicious of everyone you met.● On your guard with other people.

Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

You would be:● Suspicious of everyone you met.● On your guard with other people.● Reluctant to trust anybody

Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

You would be:● Suspicious of everyone you met.● On your guard with other people.● Reluctant to trust anybody.● Waiting for a sign that the didn't like you.

Everybody Hates Me

What if this were true?

You would be:● Suspicious of everyone you met.● On your guard with other people.● Reluctant to trust anybody.● Waiting for a sign that the didn't like you.● ...

BUT ...

How can “Everybody hates me” be true?

There are more than 7,000,000,000 people on Earth

If there are more than 7,000,000,000 people on Earth

How can the 99.99999% of people, who have never met you, hate you?

They don't even know who you are!

Search for the exceptions to the belief that are being ignored or can't be seen

How To Soften A Universal

Exceptions

Everyone hates you …except the people who don't

Exceptions

Everyone hates you …except the people who don't

He never listens to me …except when he does

Exceptions

Everyone hates you …except the people who don't

He never listens to me …except when he does

All men are selfish …except the ones that aren't

Exceptions

Advantages:● Acknowledges perceived reality

Exceptions

Advantages:● Acknowledges perceived reality● Invitation to find counter-examples

Exceptions

Advantages:● Acknowledges perceived reality● Invitation to find counter-examples● You don't need to know what the

counter-examples are

Exceptions

Advantages:● Acknowledges perceived reality● Invitation to find counter-examples● You don't need to know what the

counter-examples are● It's very simple: no psychoanalysis, psychic

abilities or therapeutic intuition needed.

To make a good thing even better

Just add tapping!

Exception Tapping

Exception Tapping

Even though everybody hates me,I accept myself and how I feel x 3

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me ...

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me …● UN: except the people who don't

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me …● UN: except the people who don't● CH: Everybody hates me ...

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me …● UN: except the people who don't● CH: Everybody hates me …● CB: except the people who don't

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me …● UN: except the people who don't● CH: Everybody hates me …● CB: except the people who don't● UA: Everybody hates me ...

Exception Tapping

● EB: Everybody hates me ...● SE: except the people who don't● UE: Everybody hates me …● UN: except the people who don't● CH: Everybody hates me …● CB: except the people who don't● UA: Everybody hates me …● TH: except the people who don't

Exception Tapping Examples

● Always – I always get it wrong, except when I don't.

Exception Tapping Examples

● Always – I always get it wrong, except when I don't.

● Never – He never listens to me, except when he does.

Exception Tapping Examples

● Always – I always get it wrong, except when I don't.

● Never – He never listens to me, except when he does.

● Nobody – Nobody wants what I'm offering, except the people who do.

Exception Tapping Examples

● Always – I always get it wrong, except when I don't.

● Never – He never listens to me, except when he does.

● Nobody – Nobody wants what I'm offering, except the people who do.

● All – All men are selfish, except the ones who aren't.

Exception Tapping Examples

● Always – I always get it wrong, except when I don't.

● Never – He never listens to me, except when he does.

● Nobody – Nobody wants what I'm offering, except the people who do.

● All – All men are selfish, except the ones who aren't.

● Nothing – Nothing goes right for me, except when it does.

How Does Tapping Help?

● Loosens the original belief

How Does Tapping Help?

● Loosens the original belief● Eases the search for counter examples

How Does Tapping Help?

● Loosens the original belief● Eases the search for counter examples● Brings the belief and the counter examples

together

How To Use Exception Tapping

● Identify the belief

How To Use Exception Tapping

● Identify the belief● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 1

How To Use Exception Tapping

● Identify the belief● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 10● Use the Exception Tapping routine

How To Use Exception Tapping

● Identify the belief● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 10● Use the Exception Tapping routine● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 10

How To Use Exception Tapping

● Identify the belief● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 10● Use the Exception Tapping routine● Say the phrase out loud – score from 0 – 10● If necessary “rinse and repeat”.

Benefits

If you loosen the universal belief you will have:● Clearer perceptions

Benefits

If you loosen the universal belief you will have:● Clearer perceptions● More flexible thinking

Benefits

If you loosen the universal belief you will have:● Clearer perceptions● More flexible thinking● More flexible behaviour

Does Exception Tapping Work On Everything?

Does Exception Tapping Work On Everything?

Yes, it works on everything … ... except when it doesn't!

What next?

How often to you use words like always, never, everbody, nobody etc?

What next?

How often to you use words like always, never, everbody, nobody etc?

Personal practice suggestion:

When you find yourself thinking or saying one of these word, take a few moments to tap it out to give yourself more personal freedom and flexibility.

Shameless Plug

My good friend Masha Bennett and I are running a one day workshop devoted to working with

limiting beliefs using EFT.

The workshop is in York on Saturday, November 16th, 2013

www.ChangeYourMindWithEFT.co.uk

The Next Webinar

Next week's webinar is all about “can'ts” and “shoulds” and ways of tackling them with EFT.

I hope to see you then.

Thank You!

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