everything you think you know about beating stress is wrong

8/8/2019 Everything You Think You Know About Beating Stress is Wrong

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Everything You Think You Know About Beating Stress Is Wrong

By Daryn Eller, PreventionWed, Nov 10, 2010

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If deep breaths, weekly yoga classes, and venting to your friends aren't helping you

relax, you have plenty of companyand it's not your fault. New studies show that these

supposedly tried-and-true anxiety busters are often just... well, a bust. Read on for the

surprising truth about what really helpsand what doesn'twhen it comes to relieving

chronically fried nerves.

Yesterday's Wisdom

Never go to bed angry

Today's Smart Strategy

Just get some sleep already!

When you're mid-dustup and about to wring your husband's neck, the last thing you feel

like doing is curling up in bed beside him. But deep down, many of us worry that going

to bed angry just tempts fate. So we bargain, cajole, and then fight some more in an

effort to resolve the dispute, thinking all will be well by the morning if we can just reach a

resolution. The fact is, forcing a discussion by bedtime can actually make things worse,

says Andrea K. Wittenborn, PhD, an assistant professor in the marriage and family

therapy program at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. When you'reupset, a part of the brain called the amygdala cues the fight-or-f light response, limiting

your ability to have a calm, rational discussion. So it's a good idea to hold off on any

showdown until you cool off. "Taking a time-out or even a night off is critical, because

once you've activated the fight-or-flight system, you can't simply tell it to turn off," says

Ronald Potter-Efron, PhD, author ofRage: A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming

Explosive Anger. "If you're already angry or frustrated, you become emotionally flooded

and unable to think clearly." Plus, sleep is a powerful antidote to stress, says Russell

Rosenberg, PhD, director of the Atlanta Sleep Medicine Clinic and vice chairman of the

National Sleep Foundation. Instead, agree to call a truce until morning, and make sure

to actually talk things out the next day. "Completely dropping issues that really bug youcan be damaging to your relationship and contribute to increased stress," warns Dr.

Wittenborn.

Yesterday's Wisdom

Control your temper


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Throw a tantrum now and then

From the time we're little girls, we're taught to control our tempers, and as adults

especially womenwe still believe that venting anger is unhealthy (not to mention

unladylike). In fact, the opposite now appears to be true. According to a study publishedin Biological Psychiatrythat looked at the effect of facial expressions of emotions, such

as fear and indignation, on our stress responses, displaying your anger may actually

cause your brain to release less cortisol, the stress hormone associated with obesity,

bone loss, and heart disease. And while experts know that chronic anger contributes

to hypertension and coronary disease, they've also found that expressing irritation in

response to a short-term and unfair frustration, such as being cut off in traffic, can

actually dampen the nasty effects of stress. That's because anger confers feelings of

control, counteracting the helplessness and frustration we often feel in response to

perceived insults and injustices, says lead study author Jennifer Lerner, PhD.

Yesterday's Wisdom

Turn to family and friends for support


Cuddle up with your pet

Hanging out with loved ones has long been touted as an instant mood-booster, but

according to new scientific evidence, when it comes to managing stress, the calmingeffects of spending time with a furry friend trump those obtained by hanging out with

friends and family. "Having your pet, whether a cat or a dog, with you during a stressful

event turns out to be more soothing than a best friend or a spouse," says James J.

Blascovich, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa

Barbara.

Dr. Blascovich and colleagues asked volunteers to perform difficult math problems while

in the company of their spouse, a friend, or their pet. Using heart rate andblood

pressure as measures of stress, the researchers found that people strained the least

and performed the best when in the company of their cat or dog. While spending timewith a friend or spouse can be a great way to relax, sidle up to your pet when the

pressure's on.

Yesterday's Wisdom

Express your feelings


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Keep it to yourself

In our tell-all, Oprah-fied culture, we've come to believe that sharing our feelings is the

only way to deal with life's struggles. But just the opposite is often true. "We've longthought that talking about problems is always better, but there's also evidence

suggesting that this coping style doesn't work for everybody," explains Karin Coifman,

PhD, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at Kent State University. Dr. Coifman

and colleagues looked at how people whose spouse or child had just died coped with

their loss. They learned that many of the subjects who avoided thinking or talking about

their sadnessa style psychologists call repressive copinghad fewer short-term

health problems, such as sore throats, diarrhea, and shortness of breath, as well as a

lower incidence of long-term psychological problems. What's more, they returned to

their everyday lives more quickly than those who dwelled upon their grief.

"There's a lot to be said for getting on with the business of living," says Dr. Coifman.

"People who talk endlessly about their problems are actually the ones at greater risk of

depression." In fact, researchers at the University of Missouri, Columbia, found that

participants who repeatedly expressed their sadness or disappointment were more

likely to develop depression and anxiety. That doesn't mean you should just suck it up

when something bad happens. While you shouldn't deny yourself natural grieving

moments, learning to direct your attention away from the stressor is a powerful coping

mechanism. So after experiencing that initial burst of tears, turn to something positive

check in on a friend or rearrange your furniture. It's an important skill to look beyond the

badwe wouldn't survive as a species otherwise, Dr. Coifman adds.

Yesterday's Wisdom

Never soothe yourself with food


Treat yourself to chocolate

We've been warned that bingeing on cookies and ice cream is a poor way to ease a

worried state of mind and can actually create more anxiety. But here's a sweet

exception to the rule: Indulging in a little chocolate can actually help. According to newfindings published in the Journal of Proteome Research, eating a few pieces of dark

chocolate when you're feeling on edge can help calm your nerves. (Unfortunately for

you milk chocolate lovers, the researchers believe the flavonoids in dark chocolate are

responsible for this soothing effect.) In the study, stressed-out participants who ate 1

ounces of dark chocolate a day for 2 weeks had reduced levels of stress hormones. We

can't think of a better way to treat yourself to some dessert, guilt-and stress-free!


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everything you think you know about beating stress is wrong

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