Parenting is an incredibly demanding job and you may have some days where you wonder if you have what it takes to be an effective parent. The job is easier if you have cultivated the right characteristics before your first child arrives on the scene. If you find you lack a few of these characteristics, you can acquire them in the process of rearing your child.

Parents need to be active participants in the life of their child. Your child learns by watching you, so be aware of what you project. Embrace your parenting job with enthusiasm, compassion, a sense of humor and a clear memory of what its like to be a child. Take the time to know your childs personality and parent your child based on her strengths and weaknesses, according to family relationship expert, Dr. Gary Smalley. If your child is loyal, consistent and compliant because she wants your approval, a disapproving look or a soft word could rectify a misstep. A strong-willed, take-charge and independent child, however, requires more discipline.Whether you are male or female, you can nurture your child. You can demonstrate unconditional love by addressing the behavior and not the character of the child when applying correction, advises KidsHealth. Express forgiveness when your child shows remorse for a misdeed. If you know what behaviors are mistakes or age-appropriate exploration, you can make allowances for those behaviors in ways that encourage your child to grow and learn. Employ positive reinforcement when you set limits and keep your expectations realistic and appropriate to your childs development and abilities. Your toddler probably wont sit still for several hours and your teen isnt going to blindly accept everything you say.A large part of your job as parent is to teach your child what he needs to become a productive and responsible adult. Model the behavior you want to see and take advantage of teachable moments to impart wisdom and common sense to your child. Your child will respond best to lessons that are creative, fun and impart a sense of adventure and discovery, according to Dr. Lisa Marotta, a private practice psychologist in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Set clear limits for your childs behavior and employ logical consequences when your child complies or defies those limits. Your child should know that you have confidence in his ability to learn and respond to new challenges.Family communication isnt always easy, but it is a priority if you want to be an effective parent. Actively listen when your child speaks, looking directly at her and making it clear that what she has to say is important to you. You can validate her feelings and repeat the important points in your own words to make sure youre both on the same page. Negotiate with your child, presenting clear choices whenever possible. Always treat your child with kindness and respect, giving praise and encouragement when you have the opportunity, advises Dr. Marotta.

Raising a child can be very difficult. Children learn how to be adults from none other than adults themselves. Parents need to be willing to teach their children. In my opinion, there are key things that a parent needs to do to be a "good" parent.

Parents need to be good listeners. They are sometimes too quick to judge their children's actions and words that they do not hear them cry for love, attention or help. Parents need to listen to their child's feelings and reactions to things. Also, they need to let them have their own opinions and voice them too. They should look at their child and show them that they are listening to them. Understanding their point of view and where they are coming from also will help one to be a good parent.

If parents want their child to do what is right, I think that they need to set an example by also doing what is right. Children should be taught how to be responsible, caring, hardworking and patient from watching and learning these traits from their parents.

Making time and traditions for your family is another part of being a good parent. True, many parents do have to work a lot to provide their family with the things they need. Spoiling children does not mean parents don't need to show love and spend quality time with their kids. Parents should invest time, not money into their children. Children shouldn't have to ask if they are important to their parents to know. They should just know. The time a parent puts into their family and the traditions they have will always be there.

Parents should respect their child's interests and get involved in their life. They should participate in activities that they all can enjoy. Parents should try out new things that their child likes.

Unconditional Love is the key to being a good parent. Parents need to love their children no matter what. If a child doubts a parent's love for them, the parent is not being a good one. Even when a child is disappointing,

Ithink "loving" is the most important characteristic that an ideal parent needs to demonstrate. When we are loving, we are consciously sharing our thoughts and feelings; we are tenderly touching and holding our child with care. We are playful and joyful in our actions and in our guidance. We take time to listen and to explain things to our child so they are able to understand. We always answer the child's questions. We create quality time where we can look into the child's eyes and connect with their "soul." We create an environment that is safe from any emotional, mental or physical harm.Another major characteristic that an ideal parent demonstrates is being a positive role model. A positive role model demonstrates and presents a healthy lifestyle that involves exercise, nature, art and self-expression. A positive role model prepares food that nourishes the eyes, the mouth and the body. They are wise in their words and actions. They strive to express their wants in a positive manner. They have hindsight, now-sight and foresight. They are not afraid to say they made a mistake and they are open to feedback on how they can do things better. They don't blame others, nor do they portray themselves as a victim. They teach the concept of acceptance by using everything for their upliftment, advancement and growth. They demonstrate the concept of patience by being present -- enjoying what is going on in the moment -- no matter what. They consciously present the concept of cause and effect so the child can learn through its experiences what is effective, and what is not effective. Since they know they are more than just a mother or a father, they take time to nurture and care for themselves so they can give from their overflow.Ideal parents demonstrate moral and spiritual responsibility. They believe in hope. They hold a space for their child to develop into who s/he truly is -- verses trying to make the child into something "they" want. They consistently demonstrate good boundaries and give their child permission to say "yes" and "no" when it's appropriate. They encourage the child to dream, to be more, and to think "outside the box." They teach the child to regularly look into the mirror and say, "I'm loving you."Ideal parents create a social environment where the concept of "family" extends out into the community and expands to all our brothers and sisters on the planet. Friends are welcomed and play is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to communicate, and to share. Formal education is embraced and the development of the intellect is valued and praised. Discipline and consistent daily routines, that support the family and the community, are demonstrated and reinforced. The child knows that they can count on their parent to hold, to comfort, to listen, to understand, and to love them.

A good parent prays for his/her children. One of he greatest privileges I have as a parent is to pray for my children. It occurred to me a few years ago, if Im not praying for my children, then who is? I pray for my children in both the big and little things of life. I pray for their protection against the evil one. Most of all, I pray that they might come to love God and treasure him above all else.A good parent is gracious. Her children see the way their mom treats people. They see her graciousness in the way she talks with the person at H.E.B. or Walmart. They witness graciousness in the way mom or dad relates to their friends. These children see graciousness in the way their parents relate to one another. No smart aleck talk between mom and dad. No put downs. These parents exude grace.Good parents understand that kids first learn about the grace of God not in theological explanations but in lives of their mom and dad.A good parent builds an atmosphere of encouragement. Youve seen them. Moms and dads who love their children and yet, for whatever reason, constantly discourage and frustrate them. This may be the dad who regularly second guesses his son or daughter. He communicates doubt instead of confidence. Consequently, his son or daughter grows up to be hesitant, afraid to step out and risk, and unsure of himself. A good parent communicates that she believes in her children. Regardless of their age, children need parents who are encouragers.A good parent creates an atmosphere of joy and laughter at home. I know a father who looks like he is miserable much of the time. I suspect there is little laughter in his home. How sad! Our children live in a tough world. At school they may feel tremendous social pressure, hear many put downs, and yet have to deal with the pressure of grades, the future, etc. Home should be a place where we look forward to being at the end of the day. A good parents works to create a home that is a place of warmth, acceptance, and laughter.A good parent realizes that one of the best gifts that he can offer his children is himself. Too many parents try to buy their way to their childrens hearts. Ive been around many teens during the last eight years. I have not known any who I thought were deprived by having to drive an older model car, etc. However, I have known a number of teens whose parents were too busy for them and unavailable emotionally. I have known several who received no moral or spiritual direction from their parents, whatsoever. Consequently, these kids felt as if their parents really did not know what was going on in their lives not to mention their hearts. My children need a parents who is fully engaged in their lives.

Respect - A good parent is respectful to their child, even when disciplining. Children first learn respectful behaviors from their parents and caregivers, so a child who is consistently treated respectfully by a parent is more likely to develop a healthy self-respect, and a respect for others, including their parent. Parents should keep in mind that it is possible to be respectful and firm at the same time.

Empathy - A good parent knows how to listen, more than talk. Sometimes, all a child needs is a listening ear, a safe place to talk things out, and for the parent to put themselves in the child's shoes, rather than jump in and fix his problems for him. A parent who is willing to tune into their child's words, tone of voice, and body language, will have a better chance of hearing what their child is really saying. Empathic listening sets the stage for open communication and can go a long way in strengthening the parent-child relationship.

Trust - A good parent takes advantage of opportunities to allow their child to make age-appropriate decisions, thereby, instilling a level of trust in the child's ability to do so. Entrusting a child to make certain choices is a great way to empower a child, and ultimately help a child learn how to become responsible. When parents try to control too many things in a child's life, it sends the message, "I don't trust you to make the right decisions, my way is better." Consequently, the more control a parents uses, the less cooperation they will get.

Leadership - A parent's main role in their child's life is to be a leader- someone the child can model, and learn from, but most importantly, someone who will keep them healthy and safe. Leadership in parenting requires being firm, when necessary, and a willingness to put rules in place, even when those rules are not readily accepted by the child. Parents, who are leaders, accept that there will be times when their child will not like them for putting certain limits in place, but they enforce them anyhow, knowing that it's their job to do what's best for their child.

Courage - It takes courage to be a good parent. The need for courage in parenting can show up in different ways, such as taking an unpopular stand to instill values, rules, and limits, even if it goes against what their child, or others may believe. At other times, courage may be needed to let go and allow a child to make certain choices and experience the consequences of such choices, so he can learn and grow. Courage is not reckless, nor is it the absence of fear; it's the willingness to try, and do what needs to be done, despite having fears.

Confidence - Parents who are confident don't have all the answers, but they are confident in their abilities to do the best they can. When they don't know the answer, they look for it. Rather than dwell on their own mistakes, confident parents are willing to admit them, learn from them, and make better choices in the future. They see problems as opportunities to learn and grow. As a result, they're in a better position to help their child develop self-confidence, as well.

Gratitude - Gratitude in parenting helps a parent appreciate their child as they are. Gratitude says, "I like who you are and who you are becoming." Gratitude helps parents become aware of, and help build on a child's strengths. A grateful parent focuses on and accepts the present moment, doesn't fret about past mistakes, or worry about the future. Gratitude in parenting helps parents become more approachable, and a positive influence in their child's life.

Understanding - Probably one of the hardest characteristics to develop in parenting, but the most needed, is the characteristic of understanding. Many times it can be hard for parents to deal with a child's misbehaviors, mostly because they don't understand them. One of the worst things a parent can do is take their child's misbehaviors personally. As part of their growth and development, children are going to misbehave and do things that go against the rules. Knowing this can help parents anticipate and redirect a child toward more positive and acceptable behaviors, and avoid a lot of unnecessary anger. Understanding can also lead to forgiveness.

Happiness - Happiness is not given to a chosen few; it's available to those who choose to make it a part of their everyday life. Many people wait for things, events, and other people to make them happy, but this is a mistake. Choosing to be happy is a choice we can all make because it comes from within. It's a reservoir that we can tap into whenever we choose. It's not designed to make problems go away, although, sometimes it may. Happiness can help us rise above our problems, and not just survive, but thrive, in spite of them. Plus, it just feels good to be happy. Parents who practice happiness have a greater chance of influencing their child's perception of happiness, and their attainment of it, as well. Most children are naturally happy and enjoy being around happy parents.Be involved in your child's life."Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."Being involveddoes notmean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells WebMD. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior."The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering. He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they be understanding so his self-esteem doesn't suffer?"With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "He may be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional."5. Establish and set rules."If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.""But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Once they're in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene."6. Foster your child's independence."Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both."