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A great essay handbook for esl students learning essayTRANSCRIPT
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Hands-on
Writing
Student’s Handbook
By: Ma. Teresa/Dindin Bansolay
Pines English Academy
Volga Street, Riverside Subd., Anunas, Angeles City
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PREFACE
For many ESL students the beginning of learning how to write well is to unlearn
much of what they've been taught. Most students arrive at language academies with a
grab-bag of rules that they try their best to hold on to. They've never really thought about
these rules, or wondered if they make sense. But students believe that following these rules
will help produce "good writing," and that "bad writing" is defined as breaking the rules.
With this problem commonly encountered, this class is designed to meet the needs
of students for a more formal, guided, and well structured writing!
For students who have taken Interactive Writing we believe they are very much
ready to take a higher form of writing that involves more hands-on activities which are
lengthy, refined, and more precise.
As for this class, we encourage students to be more critical and objective, the good
characteristics of language used in dynamic writing will evoke students’ responses in
writing activities. While essay types useful to develop and to concretely show students’
progress will make them more creative, more entertaining, and most of all more critical in
depicting ideas.
All in all, this class leads students to formal form of English writings, and it serves as
a tool in cases some will take proficiency tests such as TOEIC and TOEFL, where in both
Business and Practical English are used.
Teaching Guidelines
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The class is divided into three main parts; during the first week students are going to
learn the 3 major structures of an essay. Introduction, body, and conclusion are discusses
followed by examples and then by a writing application.
On the second week the students are going to learn the tools in maintaining unity and
coherence. Important lessons such as the use of transitions, proofreading symbols, and the like
are discussed.
On the third and fourth weeks, the students are going to focus on the content of their
work outputs, different types of essay will be the main focus of the class.
All throughout the term students are expected to finish every writing task given them, a
time limit is also set to encourage students to work well within a time pressured activity. The
rationale behind this is to instill to the students diligence in writing. At all times the use of
correct grammar, organization, coherence, clarity, and efficiency in writing is highly observed.
Therefore teachers are going to check each of the students’ work, and there after explain to
the students the mistakes formed, and thereby guide the student to make less error on the
next writing activity.
Students may find this class, exhausting and so teachers are expected to explain the
purpose of the class during the first day.
Table of Contents
UNIT CONTENT
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Unit I Elements of a Good Paragraph
Unit II Introduction
Unit III Paragraphs
Unit IV Conclusion
Unit V Proofreading
Unit VI Transition Markers
Unit VII Gathering Data for a Meaningful Essay
Unit VIII Choosing the Best Topics
Unit IX Descriptive Essay
Unit X Process Essay
Unit XI Definition Essay
Unit XII Application Essay
UNIT I. Elements of a Good Paragraph
A paragraph is effective for the following reasons:
1. The paragraph shows unity. All the sentences effectively relate back to the topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph. All of the sentences have something to do with dogs not liking cats.
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2. The paragraph shows coherence. There is a flow of thoughts and ideas among the sentences in this paragraph. There are good transitions employed in the paragraph. The writer also presents her sub-topics in an orderly fashion that the reader can follow easily.
3. The paragraph is developed. The writer gives herself enough space to develop the topic. He or she gives us at least two reasons to accept her argument and incorporates some examples in order to give those reasons more validity.
UNIT II. Introduction
Topic
Sentence:
Statement
of
main
idea
of
the
paragraph
Supporting
Details:
Provide
details
to
further
explain
the
topic
sentence
Minor
details:
more
details
YOUR ORIGINAL IDEAThere must be only one main idea in each paragraph.Ideas must be well-categorized accordingly
YOUR SUPPORTING DETAILS
Present details in an organized way.Do not mix up ideas in the paragraph.
ARGUMENTevidence
evidenceevidence
evidence
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Get the reader's attention
The first goal in your introduction is to grab the reader's attention. Wake him or her up and generate some interest about the topic. To grab the reader's attention, you might present . . .
an interesting fact a surprising piece of information an exciting quotation an intriguing paradox an explanation of an odd term a short narrative/anecdote (not fiction) a provocative question
Do not begin so broad and general that the first several sentences could fit nearly any essay. For example:
Too General: Crime has been an issue throughout time. More Specific: The question of the severity of punishments for juveniles is an issue that has
garnered attention due to the increasing number of juvenile shootings in the last several years.
Too General: Man has always wondered about the meaning of information. More Specific: The Age of Information brought about through the digital revolution of
computers has posed significant questions about the value and worth of this information: Does having instant access to every newspaper and journal blog in the world make us more intelligent, value-based people?
Now sit down and write the essay. The introduction should grab the reader's attention, set up the issue, and lead in to your thesis. (Note: The title and first paragraph are probably the most important elements in your essay.. In the first paragraph you either hook the reader's interest or lose it. In the real world, readers make up their minds about whether or not to read your essay by glancing at the title.
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Hands-on: Write an example Introduction for the topic “Why go to university?” Write 2 or 3 sentences for the introduction.
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UNIT III. Paragraphs
Each individual paragraph should be focused on a single idea that supports your thesis. Begin paragraphs with topic sentences, support assertions with evidence, and expound your ideas in the clearest, most sensible way you can. Speak to your reader as if he or she were sitting in front of you. In other words, instead of writing the
essay, try talking the essay.
I. Choose a singular focus
Each paragraph should have a clear, singular focus to it. If there is an overriding error students make in writing essays, it is shifting topics within the same paragraph, rather than continuing to develop
the same idea they began with.
II. Begin with a topic sentence
Nothing will help you keep a tighter focus on your paragraphs than topic sentences. A topic sentence is generally the first sentence of the paragraph, and it describes the claim or point of the paragraph,
thus orienting the reader to the purpose of the paragraph.
III. Develop ideas
Try to apply these techniques to develop the idea of your paragraph
illustrate your idea with examples give an authoritative quotation
anticipate and respond to counterarguments back your ideas with more evidence offer another perspective to the idea
brainstorm more insights about the idea elaborate on causes/effects, definitions, comparison/contrasts
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Hands-on: Write an example paragraph for the given topic, “Why go to
university?
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UNIT IV. Conclusion
Gracefully exit your essay by making a quick wrap-up sentence, and then end on some memorable thought, perhaps a quotation, or an interesting twist of logic, or some call to action.
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Hands-on: Write a Conclusion about the essay “Why go to university?”
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UNIT V. Proofreading
A. Common Proofreading Symbols
Symbol Meaning Example
insert a comma
apostrophe or singlequotation mark
insert something
use double quotation marks
use a period here
delete
transpose elements
close up this space
a space needed here
begin new paragraph
no paragraph
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B. Common Proofreading Abbreviations
Ab a faulty abbreviation She had earned a Phd along with her M.D.
AgrSee also P/A and
S/V
agreement problem:subject/verb orpronoun/antecedent
The piano as well as the guitar need tuning.The student lost their book.
Awk awkward expressionor construction
The storm had the effect of causingmillions of dollars in damage.
Cap faulty capitalization We spent the Fall in Southern spain.
CS comma splice Raoul tried his best, this time thatwasn't good enough
DICT faulty diction Due to the fact that we were wonderingas to whether it would rain, we stayed home.
Dgl dangling construction Working harder than ever, this jobproved to be too much for him to handle.
- ed problem withfinal -ed
Last summer he walk all the way to Birmingham.
Frag fragment Depending on the amount of snow we get thiswinter and whether the towns buy new trucks.
| | problem in parallel form
My income is bigger than my wife.
P/A pronoun/antecedentagreement
A student in accounting would be wise to seetheir advisor this month.
Pron problem with pronoun
My aunt and my mother have wrecked her carThe committee has lost their chance to change things.You'll have to do this on one's own time.
Rep unnecessary repetition
The car was blue in color.
R-O run-on sentence Raoul tried his best this timethat wasn't good enough.
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Sp spelling error This sentence is flawed with two misspellings.
- s problem with final -s He wonder what these teacher think of him.
STET Let it stand
The proofreader uses this Latin term to indicate that proofreading marks calling for a change should be ignored and the text as originally written should be "let stand."
S/V subject/verb agreement
The problem with these cities are leadership.
T verb tense problem He comes into the room, and he pulled his gun.
Wdy wordySeldom have we perused a document so verbose,so ostentatious in phrasing, so burdened with too many words.
WW wrong word What affect did the movie have on Sheila?She tried to hard to analyze its conclusion.
UNIT VI. Transition Markers
Use transition markers wisely. Sometimes you'll need to announce to your reader some turn in your argument. Or you'll want to emphasize one of your points. Or you'll want to make clear some relationship in time. In all these cases you'll want to use transition markers.
Here are some examples:
To show place - above, below, here, there, etc. To show time - after, before, currently, during, earlier, later, etc. To give an example - for example, for instance, etc. To show addition - additionally, also, and, furthermore, moreover, equally important,
etc. To show similarity - also, likewise, in the same way, similarly, etc. To show an exception - but, however, nevertheless, on the other hand, on the contrary,
yet, etc. To show a sequence - first, second, third, next, then, etc. To emphasize - indeed, in fact, of course, etc. To show cause and effect - accordingly, consequently, therefore, thus, etc. To conclude or repeat - finally, in conclusion, on the whole, in the end, etc.
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Sample Text
During the early twentieth century, Australian society experienced a transformation of the
domestic ideal. At this time families were subject to an increasing array of government and
'professional' programs and advice aiming to manage and regulate family life. Some of
these programs were designed to counter social changes, others were designed to
engineer them; ultimately each heralded a growing expert encroachment into the private
sphere.
Intervention and influence took three forms. Firstly, techniques designed to maximize
efficiency were introduced into the home and scientific principles were applied to its
design. In addition, housework and parenting methods were scrutinized and subject to
unprecedented standards. Secondly, all aspects of reproduction attracted increasing
intervention from government and the medical profession. Thirdly, state, professional and
philanthropic groups began to usurp the parental role within the family through instruction
and policy. Consequently, the development of 'modern' social ideals brought regulation,
intervention and ever-increasing unrealistic standards.
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Hands-on: Imagine these 2 paragraphs are part of a larger essay on Wendy’s.
1. Insert transitional words & phrases within the FIRST PARAGRAPH to make it more cohesive & less choppy. To do so, you’ll need to determine what kind of relationships exist between sentences and phrases & choose transitions that are appropriate. You may change punctuation as needed.
2. Provide a smooth transition sentence to begin the SECOND PARAGRAPH and smoothly connect it to the preceding paragraph. “Also” doesn’t cut it. Neither does the more grammatically correct “In addition…” (Notice the good transition that opens the 1st paragraph).
In spite of such negative statistics, I will continue to frequent Wendy’s in the Student
Union building. The fries are excellent. They are rarely too greasy. They are usually
fresh and crispy. They aren’t too crispy. The burgers are sizzling hot. The warmth of
the burger is accentuated by the coolness of the mayonnaise & other condiments. A
Frosty makes a good dessert. Dinner at Wendy’s is not healthy. The food tastes great.
Also, Wendy’s has great service. I particularly appreciate the lightening-fast finger work
of the Wendy’s cashier as he punches students’ orders into the magic box. When he
quickly enters my order, I am confident that he takes his work very seriously. Likewise,
the other Wendy’s employees are professional & courteous. They too acknowledge the
need to work quickly & effectively, and their service reflects such an understanding.
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UNIT VII. Gathering Data for a Meaningful Essay
Four Basic Data Gathering Procedure Options
Some students are not aware of the fact that they need to know some data gathering procedure techniques when writing their essays. Usually, they are simply concentrating on how to come up with a good thesis statement, how to develop literature review or even how to cute reference materials.
There are different ways for you to conduct data gathering procedures. Usually, these ways are related to the same processes in statistics.
1. Data mining – this procedure involves the search for published data from reputable sources. The process is simpler than other techniques but you need to make sure that the data is up to date.
2. Interviewing - this data gathering procedure involves a certain amount of time and effort investment. However, you can maximize the data that you can acquire form each respondents because you will personally acquire data from them.
3. Depending on your essay topics, you can conduct surveying. If you wish to gather quick and raw data, this is the best medium for you. Prepare a set of questionnaire and then have your respondents fill them out.
4. Lab experiments – this type of data gathering procedure is intended if you wish to have a control factor. You can then conduct lab experiments to gather raw data and then compare your results to a control measurement.
UNIT VIII. Choosing the Best Essay Topics
Writing is an activity that has a sequence of logically well constructed sentences dedicated towards representing in essence the viewpoint of an individual. There are many simple factors that are considered when choosing the appropriate topics for essay. The style and the structure of an essay depend on the specific type of essay that you are writing on but the basic construction of an essay remains the same almost everywhere. The introduction is where the writer ushers in the topic of the essay and makes a thesis statement if necessary. When choosing a topic for essay keep in mind that you consider your level of knowledge and experience on the topic.
Successful essays depend a lot on how the topic for essay was chosen. The occasion for which the essay is to be written affects the language that you can you in essays.
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The classifications are very broad, some factors are environment dependent. The environment also determines what topic for essay is chosen. It is not always necessary to be outspoken and outright. It helps sometimes to be tactful and soft spoken.
Consider the audience: Always make it a point to consider your audience. If you have time to write the essay then you can brainstorm the topic, it helps to converse with peers about it and get the general opinion on the topic. Choose a catchy topic that is targeted to the interests of your audience.
Narrow your work down: Narrow down the possible topics for essay and make a list of the extremities of the topics available to you. Make sure that you do not choose a controversial topic to write an essay that has a high degree of importance unless you are familiar with the topic in question.
Research the topic: Research the topic if you have to. There are many online guides that will help you write a powerful essay. Web sites dedicated to hosting articles offer in great detail a good variety of sound articles which offer valuable help in writing drawing from a large database of topics for essay.
Use your imagination: Imagination has a very important role to play in the process of writing. One thing to remember when choosing topics for essay is the importance of your personal creativity and viewpoint. Adding your own individual element is just as important as writing with the correct structure or the correct grammar. Blunt writing only dulls the reader's affections towards your work.
Make a summary of the possible topics for essay. Work out the variables carefully and make a final list. Before you draft your work, make sure that you have selected a topic that will highlight your opinion and the need to act upon the topic.
To illustrate:
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UNIT IX. Descriptive EssayThis type of essay describes what the author observes and perceives. The main message is the author wants to share this experience with the reader.
To begin with a descriptive essay, it's important to identify exactly what to describe. Often, a descriptive essay will focus on portraying one of the following:
a person a place a memory
an experience an object
In writing a descriptive essay, the best way to create a vivid experience for the readers is to focus on the five senses.
sight sound smell
touch taste
SAMPLE ESSAY
Provoby Guo Ying Gao
Read other essays by Guo Ying Gao
Let your imagination guide you.
Avoid plagiarism - acknowledge your sources.
Select from a narrow but
realiable topics.
Who are your
audience?
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I have been in Provo for almost eleven months. I have seen
winter, spring, summer, and fall. Provo's winter is so beautiful. The
mountains are covered with a lot of snow. They look like many
beautiful brides wearing wedding dresses, and veils. In spring, Provo
doesn't have many trees; when the snow melts the mountains are
bald as strong bald men. Summer in Provo is very hot in the daytime.
Last summer when I was walking under the sky, it was like walking in
an oven; the sun was like a fire that burned my skin. In spring and
summer the weather was always clear. I never used my umbrella.
Provo was like huge clothes dryer; it is very dry in spring and
summer. In the fall the weather in Provo is very
strange. One late September morning when I woke
up, the mountaintops was covered with snow. Provo is
a lovely and strange place. I love it very much.
Hands-on: Describe the person you admire the most. Use adjectives and
adverbs to make your essay more comprehensible. Limit your essay from
150-225 words.
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UNIT X. Process Essay
Writing a process essay requires a lot of work to do. First of all the author is supposed to explain the significance of the analyzed process. Then, the effect this process may have on objects or even people is revealed. It is necessary to mention all the information about the process to make the reader fully understand its essence. A good way to make a process essay logical is to choose a correct number of steps within the process and the difficulties of each step.
A process essay has a classical structure depending only on the amount of the process’ steps described:
I- IntroductionIn the introduction the author reveals the basic aim of the process leaving out specific details. Basic background information is also provided. Another factor to mention is the true meaning of this process and its everyday life application. The thesis statement is always the final sentence of the introduction.
II- BodyThe amount of body paragraphs depends on the amount of process stages. Therefore the body is a guide to how to carry out the procedure. Each step or stage should have its specific purpose the reader needs to understand.
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III- ConclusionThe conclusion paragraph reveals the result of the process. It is also offers a thesis restatement to
reinforce the significance of the procedure.
Process Essay Sample Outline I. Introduction Thesis: Ingestion, digestion, and absorption are the three major steps involved in the digestive process.
II. Food is ingested. A. Food enters the mouth. B. Food is chewed. C. Food is ready to travel to the stomach.
III. Food is digested. A. Food is mixed with acidic gastric juices in the stomach. B. The partially liquid food moves from the stomach to the small intestine. C. Enzymes are secreted.
IV. Absorption A. The digested food passes through the walls of the small intestine. B. The digested food is absorbed into the bloodstream.V. Conclusion
Paraphrased Thesis: The digestion process involves three major steps: ingestion, digestion, and absorption.
SAMPLE ESSAY
A Process of DigestionThe digestive process is important in maintaining the lives of living organisms
and in providing them with needed energy. Groups of organs, such as the mouth,
esophagus, stomach, and intestines, work together to perform this complex task.
Digestion is the process of breaking down food from large molecules into small ones
to make it easier for absorption. The three major steps involved in the digestive
process are ingestion, digestion, and absorption.
Ingestion, which occurs in the mouth, is the first step of the digestive
process. After food enters the mouth, the teeth chew it. Saliva, which is produced by
the salivary glands, plays a major role in breaking down the food into smaller pieces.
These small pieces travel to the stomach through the esophagus.
In the stomach, the second step of the digestive process begins. When the
chewed food reaches the bottom of the esophagus, a valve lets the food enter the
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stomach. Contraction of the stomach wall mixes the food. Acidic gastric juices, which
are secreted by the gastric glands in the stomach, help in mixing the food and in
turning it into a partial liquid so it will have the ability to move into the small
intestine. In the small intestine, enzymes are secreted, and digestion is completed.
The last step in the digestive process is absorption. Absorption takes place in
the small intestine. The wall of the small intestine is lined with small, finger like
projections called villi. Small molecules of food are absorbed by the huge number of
villi. Some of these absorbed molecules enter the bloodstream to be distributed
throughout the whole body.
In conclusion, the digestive process involves three major steps: ingestion,
digestion, and absorption. Ingestion, which occurs in the mouth, helps to increase
the surface are of the food particles and prepares them for digestion. In the
stomach, digestion begins, and it continues until it reaches the small intestine,
where absorption takes place. The digestive process maintains
organisms' lives by providing them with energy needed for
different functions.
Hands-on : Write an essay on how to develop self-confidence. Use
transitions and limit your essay from 150-225 words.
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UNIT XI. Definition Essay
I. A definition essay defines a word, term, or concept in depth by providing a personal commentary on what the specific subject means.
A. Most physical objects have a definition about which most people agree.
1. Most people will agree on what trees, windows, computers, and pencils are in general.
2. These objects all have specific physical properties that most people can agree on through the use of their physical senses.
B. However, abstract terms, such as love, pain, or patriotism, have different meanings for different individuals since such terms play on people’s feelings more than their physical senses.
C. The definition essay provides a personal, extended definition of such terms by linking or comparing the term to a previous definition and by illustrating how that term should be applied.
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COURAGE
So literally it means “an action that comes from a heart”, other words it is a noble action. It what sense is this word used by modern people? The main interpretation of the usage of this term is – “to describe people who have a quality of mind that allows them to face danger without fear, which is also often referred to as bravery or boldness”. This word it mostly used when talking about man for from its original it is considered to be more of a manly a good value. The definitions of this word are numerous, but since the world around us changes the definitions change, too. For instance, if we talk about the liberty of word we can define “courage” as the “the person’s ability to say what he thinks on this matter”.
Courage is a brilliant word. For many people risking or giving one's life for others is probably the highest example of courage. This is an action that will always be deeply respected by other people and touches every single one of us to the core. What about everyday courage? Can certain devoted actions made by ordinary people in ordinary situations be considered to be courageous? Is courage measured by physically giving someone’s life away for somebody? Is it “courage” when a person reconciles from the death of the loved one? Or is “courage” living with a handicapped child? We can say that “courage” is being strong even though you are afraid, but on the other hand it is taking risks without knowing the future result. Bravery, heroism, boldness, spirit, confidence, firmness, persistence, fearlessness, determination – these words can all be view from a point of being synonyms to the word courage. This word is a combination of these words and has a deeper meaning...
UNIT XII. Application Essay
1. Being good is not enough. Be unique.
There are many good essays out there. So you should not be contented with a good essay. You have to work for an excellent essay.
Admissions officers have to evaluate mountains of applications. This means that they are busy people. And when they have to go through identical papers a sort of fatigue sets in that could inadvertently lead to rejection of the candidates who submit non-differentiated essays, even though these essay by
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themselves are of good quality. This means that not only will your essay have to be good; it has to be different enough to break the boredom and make the admissions officer sit up and take notice.
You can do this by incorporating the right amount of creativity on your essay. Just make sure that you do not overdo everything.
2. Your application essay should reveal your personality
You can make your essay interesting by portraying a four dimensional image of yourself through your essay. You have to talk about your character as well.
Make sure that in addition to being grammatically correct, your essay must also be an expression of your personality and character, and be persuasive enough to make a busy admissions officer to accept your application.
You have to portray yourself as honestly as possible. The admissions committee will surely see through your lies.
3. Your essay should talk about your past and future
Your essay should also incorporate the things that influence you. Talking about these things will give uniqueness to your essay since people’s experiences and influences are not exactly the same. It also pays if you talk about your goals and dreams.
Reflect on the way you view the world. Contemplate on the things that drive you, and on the people that have made a difference in your life. And finally what are your aspirations
Talking about these things will give an impression that you are a person who is strong enough to handle difficulties and who is active enough to pursue his or her dreams.
4. The essay should be natural and uses specific examples
5. Your essay, in order to be noticed, should be unique and creative. It should reveal your personality, experiences, and dreams.
19 Common mistakes that need to be avoided…
Here’s some helpful advice to help improve an application essay:
1. Select the Best Topic and Subject. If the application requires more than one essay, select distinct topics and subject areas so the admissions people get a broader, and more complete, picture of you. If you are an athlete, for example, try not to write more than one essay about sports.
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2. Answer the Question. Read the prompt carefully and pay particular attention to two part questions. The admissions people are looking for a window into your character, passion and reasoning.
3. Be Personable and Specific. Brainstorm with others. Don’t be afraid to think creatively. Don’t be afraid to reject ideas! Most strong essays have more “show” than “tell”.
4. Make Your Essay The Right Length. If there is only an upper limit, don't stress if your essay appears too short. Lincoln got his points across in brief in the Gettysburg address -- in less than 275 words. Be concise. Omit irrelevant details, clichés, and poorly developed ideas. Do not distract the reader with unnecessary words and repetition.
5. Watch Your Tone. A bit of well placed humor is fine, but don’t try to be a comedian. 6. Don’t Appear Self-Interested or Materialistic. If you are applying to a business program, the
average starting salary of recent graduates should not be your stated motivation for seeking admission!
7. Don’t Rely on Your Computer’s Spell Checker. Applicants who rely solely on their computer's spell check program may find themselves submitting applications with poor grammar and word choice. Just because everything is spelled properly doesn’t mean it is correct. A good way to catch mistakes is to read your essay very slowly and out loud.
8. Don’t Overlook the ordinary. Some essays of this type center on a moment of enlightenment or clarification when the writer views life from a new perspective and/or gains new confidence.
9. Skip the Volunteer Trip. Dedicated community service over a period of time can be a strong topic for an application essay.
10. Don’t Rehash the Resume. The admissions committee relies on essays to learn additional things about you such as your initiative, curiosity about the world, personal growth, willingness to take risks, ability to be self directed, motivation and ability to make the most of a situation.
11. Read thoroughly the Entire Application. Many applications, especially for some of the more competitive schools, are complex and require multiple essays and short answers.
12. Don’t Fall in Love with the Thesaurus. There’s no need to use a big word in every sentence. Use caution when showing off your extensive vocabulary.
13. Check Your Ego at the Door. Even if you are impressed with yourself, most admissions officers don’t respond favorably to students/applicants who brag, put down others, or wax eloquent about their amazing achievements.
14. Accentuate the Positive. Few students have a perfect resume, which is apparent in the application. Drawing attention to weakness in an essay is generally not a good idea, unless you were able to overcome a weakness, and make it a strong suit.
15. Proofread Carefully. Don’t let your eagerness to submit an application cause you to overlook careless mistakes. Errors can doom your otherwise excellent application.
16. Organize Your Essay. Make sure you include enough background information about whatever topic you are writing about so that the reader can put it into context.
17. Research the College/Company Before Writing the Essay. Pay attention to what is important to the particular school/company and, when appropriate, consider including it in some manner in your essay.
18. Invest in a Strong Introduction. A boring opening may cause the reader to not pay close attention to the remainder of the essay. Design the introduction to draw them into your essay. A well-planned essay may omit some key details in the opening forcing the reader to pay close attention to the rest of the story.
19. Start Early and Take Your Time. Don’t wait until the last minute. Application essays almost always take longer than you anticipate. Invest the time necessary to do it right. It should be
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your best work. Ask others to review your drafts and offer comments and suggestions. Take comments and suggestions seriously – behind every good writer is usually at least one good editor!
SAMPLE ESSAY 1
The Greatest Influence in My Life
It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to have her portrait painted by (Sergeant), the kind of mother who always has time for
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her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.
My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise. I vividly remember standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of the battle at Troy. Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to value what I have learned on these journeys about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family and myself.
While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house. As a ten year old, I often accompanied my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and children's center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer Program by chasing children around the building and performing magic tricks. Having finally perfected the "floating paintbrush" trick, I began work as a full time volunteer with the five and six year old children last June. It is here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end of the summer, I decided to continue my work at (name deleted) as Jane’s tutor. Although the position is often difficult, the personal rewards are beyond articulation. In the seven years since I first walked through the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of giving to others, but also of deriving from them a sense of spirit.
Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought behind it. While the raw experiences I have had at home and abroad have been spectacular, I have learned to truly value them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with her passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her endless love of everything and everyone she is touched by, I have seen a hope and life that is truly exceptional. Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by my side.
SAMPLE ESSAY 2 (Application)
Intel Job Application Essay
Essay #5 (Max 300 words)
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Five Work Habits
Do you plan your work in advance? Are you more interested in the overall planning of a project, or in specific details? What factors influence your priorities? How do you accommodate unforeseen circumstances in your work?
For my whole life, people have asked me how I maintain such a busy schedule. The only way that I am able to meet all of my obligations -- AP classes, college courses, science research, three varsity sports, two musical instruments and peer tutoring – is through efficient time management. My first priority is always my academic work, with sports, music and fun filling up my left-over time.
When I begin a project, I try not to plan all of the work in advance. I develop a general approach and then roll up my sleeves and get to work. I am a big believer in mental momentum, meaning that when I begin to make progress and things seem to be running smoothly, I try not to break the energy. In the same way, when I approach a task, I try to envision how the whole process will work. Once that is conceptualized in my mind, I focus on the details making sure they are correct as I go, so I won't have to go back to incomplete or inaccurate portions of the task.
I accommodate unforeseen circumstances by keeping my mind open and my attitude positive. For instance, when my initial mentor had to resign due to poor health, I did not become demoralized; I simply identified the most respected number theorist in my area of study and contacted him. This experience reflects my personal optimism in that I always believe there is an attainable solution, and it is my job to find the approach which will yield the desired result. Once I determine the best course of action, I work tirelessly and thoughtfully and am willing to put in as much time and effort as it takes to make the goal a reality.
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Hands-on : Write an essay on how to develop self-confidence. Use
transitions and limit your essay from 150-225 words.
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APPENDICES
APPENDIX (Process Essay)
Suggested transition words to lead readers through your essayProcess essays are generally organized according to time: that is, they begin with the first step in the process and proceed in time until the last step in the process. It's natural, then, that transition words indicate that one step has been completed and a new one will begin. Some common transitional words used in process essays are listed below:
Onetime
TransitionAnothertime
TIME
After a few hours, Immediately following,
Afterwards, Initially,
At last In the end,
At the same time, In the future,
Before In the meantime,
Before this, In the meanwhile,
Currently, Last, Last but not least, Lastly,
During Later,
Eventually, Meanwhile,
Finally, Next, Soon after,
First, Second, Third, etc. Previously,
First of all, Simultaneously,
Formerly Subsequently,
Immediately before, Then,
APPENDIX (Descriptive Essay)Descriptive Adjectives List
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Appearance
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Personality
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Feelings
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Adorable Aggressive Afraid
Attractive Ambitious Angry
Alluring Amused Anxious
Beautiful Brave Bad
Bewildered Bright Bored
Confident Cruel Calm
Cheerful Combative Confused
Cultured Co-operative Comfortable
Clumsy Cowardly Creepy
Drab Dangerous Depressed
Dull Diligent Disturbed
Dynamic Determined Dominating
Disillusioned Disagreeable Deceitful
Elegant Evil Envious
Fair Frank Faithful
Filthy Fearless Fine
Gentle Generous Good
Glamorous Gifted Grieving
Handsome Helpful Horrible
Homely Harmonious Happy
Hurt Hesitant Hungry
Ill-mannered Instinctive Ill
Jolly Jealous Jovial
Kind-hearted Knowledgeable Kind
Lovely Loner Lively
Magnificent Mysterious Mature
Nervous Naughty Nice
Pleasant Pleasing Proud
Perfect Placid Peaceful
Plucky Punctual Protective
Smiling Successful Sorrowful
Splendid Sedate Silly
Self-assured Sincere Sombre
Snobbish Selfish Sore
Thoughtful Talented Tired
Tense Thrifty Troubled
Timid Truculent Testy
Upset Unbiased Unwell
Vivacious Voracious Vengeful
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Wonderful Witty Wicked
Worried Wise Weary
Wild Warm Wrong
Zaftig Zany Zestful
eg- What an adorable baby! eg- He was a brave knight. eg- She was in a jovial mood.
Following is a list of descriptive adjectives that describe shape, sound, size, time and quantity.
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Shape
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Size
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Time
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Quantity
Broad Big Ancient Abundant
Crooked Colossal Annual Bountiful
Circular Great Brief Cumbersome
Distorted Gigantic Early Empty
Flat Huge Fast Extra
Hollow Large Late Few
Narrow Miniature Modern Heavy
Round Mammoth Old Myriad
Square Petite Rapid Many
Skinny Tall Swift Multiple
Steep Thin Slow Numerous
Wide Tiny Young Substantial
eg- A skinny boy eg- A miniature train eg- An ancient manuscript eg- Myriad stars
The following descriptive adjectives list qualify nouns related to sound, taste, touch and color.
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Sound
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Taste
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Touch
List of Descriptive Adjectives Describing Color
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Blaring Bitter Hard Azure
Cooing Delicious Loose Aqua
Deafening Fresh Rough Blue
Loud Hot Smooth Black
Melancholic Icy Slippery Crimson
Noisy Juicy Sticky Cyan
Soft Spicy Sharp Gold
Shrill Sweet Scattered Green
Squeaking Sour Soft Magenta
Silent Salty Tender Orange
Thundering Tasty Uneven Pink
Whispering Tasteless Wet Turquoise
eg- Blaring loudspeaker eg- Delicious pastry eg- Rough surface eg- Green diamond