emotions, life and happiness

8/14/2019 Emotions, Life and Happiness

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By Jo Brown

By Tony Rizk www.mysmarteguides.com

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Freedom Day!

How To Master Your Emotions © 2009

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Freedom Day - How To Master Your Emotions

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Table Of COnTenTs

InTrOduCTIOn

ChapTer 1Where Do Emotions Come From?

ChapTer 2

Why Command The Emotions?

ChapTer 3

Mind Over Will

ChapTer 4Mind Training and Strengthing

ChapTer 5

True Stories of People Commanding Emotions

COnClusIOn

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InTrOduCTIOn

People have always wondered if it is possible to control emotions. Yet, our topic is not mere controlling, but commanding our emo-

tions. This seems to complicate matters more. Can we actually command something within us that, for years, have been regarded

as involuntary impulses? They say emotions just happen to you and you have no choice but to feel them. Trying to “command”

emotions is almost saying you can tell your heart to stop beating pronto, right there and then!Emotions are lifetime companions. We cannot get rid of them. As long as we’re alive, feelings will be there to accompany our ac-

tions or even inactions. Traditional knowledge tells us we are slaves of our emotions. Emotions make our day. They decide whether

we get up in a good mood in the morning or in good spirits when we get in bed at night. Some people even give their emotions the

authority to mold their destiny. There are people who succumb to bad emotions and even get a fatal heart attack because of that.

Moreover, there are people who let emotions get the better of them all their lives. You see them become virtual puppets of their

moods. They say or act as if they have no other choice but to obey what their moods or emotions dictate them to do. They go to

work everyday with wrinkled faces and bad behaviors. They crumple other lives they meet along their path too. Their reason: They

had a ght with their spouse earlier, or some jerk cut them off the road. Perhaps they would blame the weather for it, or the plunging

economy. This brings us to another question: Are emotions mere hostages to what happens around us or to what other people do to

us?

When we surrender to traditional and man-made concepts without examining them awhile, we nd misery and slavery waiting for

us. Many people, among them professionals and leaders, are prisoners of their moods and emotions. They may be productive

career-wise, but they are terribly inept in handling themselves properly in crisis — or what they call crisis management. When you

let your emotions fail you, your being slowly disintegrates, and your career goes along with it.

But now you can take charge! You have been given a choice to take over or be taken over by your emotions. Emotions are made for

you, not you for your emotions. If you choose to, you can always be the best you can be, emotions and all. Emotions are designed

as added extras to highlight the positive impressions you make. They are not there to make you an object of pity, revulsion, or hor-ror.

So let us stop being used and instead start using our emotions and will right now!

Let us declare a day of freedom from negative emotions. A new day of powerful practical thinking is dawning. Let’s welcome it with

open hands. Do you see it coming?

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ChapTer One

WhaT Is an emOTIOn

An emotion is an inner feeling that reacts to a certain stimulus. A stimulus is something that spurs or prompts your emotion. It is

often something that is introduced from the outside. For instance, a car drives past and splashes dirty water on you. The stimulus is

the splashing of the water. Then, let’s say you get angry because you’re all wet with dirty water. That’s your reaction. Emotion is amatter of cause and effect. It is how you decide to be after a thing happens. You cannot have an emotion without any stimulus. You

cannot cry over spilled nothing. There has to be spilled milk or something. There has to be a reason for an emotion to show. The

basic principle always is, “When you feel an emotion, there is some reason or stimulus.”

WHAT CAUSES AN EMOTION?

A stimulus, however, does not cause you to feel an emotion. It merely tempts you to react. How you react is entirely up to you. A

stimulus does not and cannot create emotion in you. It can only incite you to act or react. It cannot decide what kind of response

you will have. The effect of any stimulus is just to lure you, and its work ends there. You make the decision of how to act or react to

a given situation. The emotion you show depends on how practical and mature you are. Practicality and maturity are all qualities of the mind. An emotion cannot think for itself. Your mind supplies the thinking.

The mind controls major body functions, among them the emotions and will. Emotions can never act independently of the mind.

Whatever emotions we show originate from the mind. So don’t blame your crabby neighbor or cranky customer whenever you’re

having a bad day. Your negative emotion didn’t come from them. They have no power over you. It came from inside of you. This is

worth repeating.

Remember:

Do not give any stimulus credit it does not deserve.

Stimuli do not put emotions in you. It cannot put anything inyou. They merely present themselves to you.

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CHAPTER TWO

Why COmmand emOTIOns?

Do we really need to control or command our emotions? Yes, we command our emotions so we can become better and more ma-

ture persons. They say emotions should be released. Restraining them may eventually be bad for our health. This is where we see

the difference between control and command. The rst is restraint or suppressed, while the other is released in a constructive man-ner. At best, a controlled emotion is partially released, redirected, or delayed. Thus, we see that commanding an emotion is often

better than controlling it. When an emotion, especially a negative one, is merely partially released, redirected, or delayed, it just

takes on other forms. Its essence remains. However, commanding emotions often bring out the best in us.

RELEASING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Let us examine the various ways of releasing negative emotions.

1. PARTIALLY RELEASED

When its bearer entertains an emotion, it is useless to release it partially. To get rid of the emotion, it must be 100 percent in, 100percent out. This is not to say, though, that 100 percent out is good for your health. When you allow the entry of an emotion, the

break or opening will allow the same emotion, (or several others) to enter you again. Always having negative emotions will wreck

your personality terribly. Soon, they may affect your health.

A partially released negative emotion will create harmful emotional eruptions inside you (making you a difcult person wherever you

are). It could also nd release somewhere else (to another person or family member), extending the damage further.

2.REDIRECTED

This is another form (and a worse one) of a partially released emotion. This produces unfairness and injustices to other people who

you see have less power. You may nd it easy to take “vengeance” on them. For instance, your boss has scolded you. Being his

subordinate prevents you from retaliating. When you get home, you may tend to release your anger on your house helps, children,or spouse.

3.DELAYED RELEASE

This is mostly responsible for a sudden burst of an accumulated emotion (anger for instance). You may get very angry over a seem-

ingly trivial or unimportant problem. For instance, a teacher who cannot vent her anger on her naughty pupils for the whole day (or

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CHAPTER TWO

Why COmmand emOTIOns?

days) may become so touchy as to be so ercely angered by a mere harmless joke. Here we see why controlling an emotion dam-

ages our health and well-being in the long run. The appropriate option is to command a right emotion to suit or neutralize a threat-

ening one.

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CHAPTER THREE

mInd Over WIll

The soul is the will, mind, and emotions all rolled into one. The will leans closer to the other two that have more power. If the emo-

tions are more powerful than the mind, the will easily submits to emotions. If the mind is more powerful, the will submits easily to it

also.

At times, a powerful mind that has subdued the emotions turns on the will as a last step to victory. You have the practical will to do

something once the mind and the emotions jointly agree on what is right. A powerful emotion that has subdued the mind has the

same effect. Together, you will nd that you have the intense emotional will to pursue something to satisfy a feeling.

The will is the determination to achieve an end. It can be propelled or empowered by an emotion or a concept. A soldier has the will

to defeat the enemy by loving his country or knowing the benets of freedom. Though seldom, it can be both. A soldier of a dictator -

ship, though he does not know real freedom, will ght to defend the dictatorship because he loves his country. Some foreign sol-

diers defend other countries. They may not love the country they’re ghting for, but they want to maintain democracy and politicalstability in it. Sometimes, they may even be forced to rescue a dictator they hate. The will is in the center of a tug-of-war between

the emotion and the mind.

More simply put, a child often faces the choice of eating a candy because he loves sweets, or not eat it because his doctor said

it’s not good for his tonsils. A strong willed lad, they say, will opt to go by what the mind decides is practical. What they call a weak

willed lad would go by what he loves. He will fulll immediate wants, even if he knows they are bad for him. Actually, both wills are

strong. We may classify them as intellectual will and emotional will.

To be successful in commanding the emotions, the rst job of the mind is to win the full support of the will. This means you must

train yourself to be intellectually willed. When this is achieved, the rest is a piece of cake. Both the will and the emotions will submitto the mind.

Intellectual will

The intellectual will always asks, “How important is it, really?” This will goes through the thorough examination and weighing of your

fussy mind. If important, the will focuses on its accomplishment. If not important, the will focuses on disregarding it. When you are

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CHAPTER THREE cont

mInd Over WIll

overweight and you want to lose weight (because your mind tells you it’s healthy), the mind imposes strict discipline on the will to

eat only healthy foods. By the strong prodding of your practical mind (and by the cooperation of your will), you easily reject delicious

but unhealthy foods.

When someone hurts you, the mind weighs the situation at once and asks, “How important is this person to me? Why would I let

him ruin my day? Will I be a better person if I retaliate?” If the person is not important, then you may command your will to ignore

whatever he did. Your mind and will may jointly tell your emotion to remain unaffected. If the person is important, you may have the

same reaction. Your mind might say, “Anyway, no real harm was done. I’m still alive. I might as well celebrate being alive.”

Emotional will

This does not ask any question. It only magnies how you feel. The will succumbs to how you feel and feeds it. Thus, you eat the

unhealthy foods you love though you are overweight, because the emotion convinces your will that it’s okay to do such. Your happi-ness and satisfaction count the most.

If someone hurts you, your strong emotion would overreact and magnify the thing done. Then it commands your will to satisfy what

your emotion craves for — anger. Often, the mind do some function here, but only what the emotion and will jointly tell it to do. Usu-

ally, it is left with no other option than to justify the anger. “I hit him because he said this!” or “I hit him because he hit me rst!”

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CHAPTER FOUR

mInd TraInIng and sTrengThenIng

The idea that emotions can be trained says a lot about how important mental command is to regulate emotions. For instance, emo-

tions play a vital role in training dogs. Trained dogs are made to obey mostly by voice commands. The trainer believes in his mind

that he can command the dog to obedience. So his mind tells his voice to give a sharp and authoritative command (backed withemotions). “Fetch!” he commands. As he sees the dog repeatedly obeying him, his mind is encouraged. “It works!” he may tell him-

self. The more his mind is empowered by the result he sees, the easier the emotions are made to obey. Soon, condence is rein-

forced. The will becomes stronger. We see that positive emotions encourage or reinforce the power of the mind.

When the mind does not see immediate success, the emotions may work negatively. This may cause the mind to give up. The emo-

tions often take over at this point and tell the mind to quit. This is what happens when emotions command. Emotions are supposed

to merely support or encourage the mind, not command it. In anything, supporters must never take over. They must only cheer.

Cheering squads perk up the spirits of athletes. They never tell players how the game must be played. They cannot decide who

wins.

In the same way, emotions must always take the back seat and must be contented in supporting the plans of the mind, win or lose.

A mind determined to succeed will try and try again. It will command the emotions to produce courage against all odds. This cour-

age, in turn, feeds the mind to be more determined. This is what we call a positive mind. An emotion is the result of a process that

went on in your nervous system, triggered by a stimulus. Your brain spearheads the nervous system. The brain sends signals

through the nerves to a specic body organ relevant to the stimulus. Hence, the brain has the major part in how you react to a stim-

ulus. It is the brain, and not the stimulus, which decides what emotions you show.

In short, it’s all up to you. It depends on how you have trained yourself to respond to stimuli. You are the master of your emotions

and no one else. The outcome of any battle and war largely depends on how well the participants have trained. Here are some ex-ercises on how you can train your mind well to recruit the will over to your side and conquer your emotions:

1. GET ENOUGH REST.

Aside from good sleep, the mind ought to get sufcient rest daily. Rest here means as little stress as possible. Distress is a denite

no-no. Meditation is the best rest the mind can have. Some mind experts assert that having dreams in sleep means only the body

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CHAPTER FOUR cont


is getting a rest, not the mind. Thus, meditation is necessary in mind empowerment. The best way to meditate is to enjoy a serene

surrounding early in the morning while breathing deeply and slowly. As you do this, think of nothing except how the fresh air you

inhale revitalizes your brain, blood, lungs, and eventually, all your body functions. If possible, meditate in places that afford fresh air like the beach, parks, or forests.

The best type of rest is to meditate on the Book of Psalms and Proverbs in the Bible. Equally recommended is to read and meditate

on the life of Christ in the Gospel. Regardless of your religion, and even if you are an atheist, these materials afford a meditative

literature that enhances mind focus and rest. They relax your soul (mind, will, and emotions) and give you a better perspective.

2. STICK TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL PRIORITIES.

Setting your practical priorities for the day is a good practice only if you train yourself to abide by them. To strictly adhere to your

priorities, you have to ght off lots of temptations. Your emotions will always try to assert itself once you start to make your practi-cal mind prevail. Try this. List down the things you think you ought to accomplish for a day. Don’t deal with your wishes (which often

feed your emotions), but deal only with what you see and think is really important. This ought to make your list a very simple one,

and therefore manageable. Scratch out the things you really don’t need.

belOW Is a sample Of a lIsT TO dO On a saTurday:

a. Wash clothes – check

b. Throw out the garbage – check

c. Watch nal episode of your favorite TV series – scratch

d. Call up a friend – scratch

e. Clean up the attic – checkf. Talk session with your wife and kids – check

g. Finish a good book you’ve been reading – check

h. Attend the class reunion where the delicious dinner is free – scratch

From the list above, you will note that the choices are pretty much a challenge. It’s hard not to watch the nal episode of your favor -

ite TV series, for example. Moreover, it is tough to ignore the free delicious dinner where you get to meet old pals. Saturdays are

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supposed to be rest and fun days. So why sacrice and prefer household chores and scratch out all the fun?

The practical mind will agree that the checked items above are important and the scratched ones are not. It’s a sacrice to disre-

gard the scratched items, but they’re not really that important. The important thing is to throw out the garbage (for hygiene), for instance, and to bond with your spouse and kids or partner.

However, the emotional part of you will protest. It will say, “Preferring to read your kids a bedtime story over a swell dinner with long-

time-no-see friends is easier said than done.” They would add, “You can always have a sitter watch your kids,” and other justica-

tions to give way to your capricious cravings. You have to train yourself to stick to your priority list. Fight off temptations. You can be

lenient from time to time, or on other days — attend dinners and watch your favorite soap operas now and then — but try to accom-

plish the rigid Saturday priority list more often. Make sure you implement the list. This will train you to gradually assert your mind

over your will. You can begin with small simple steps.

In each strategy, make a practical list of priorities or principles that appeal to your mind, not to your emotions. Remember the intel-

lectually willed question? “Is this really important?” Is it a real need, or just a desire or whim? Then, implement gradually, becoming

more stringent as you go further.

You can use the same exercise when shopping. Often, when you have the money or credit card at hand, it’s almost too impossible

to be practical in shopping. Stimuli will bombard you left and right, all reinforced to the maximum with very tempting advertisements.

Once your senses catch the readings (stimuli), your mind analysis and emotional reaction can go crazy. The emotions often get the

upper hand, and the will and mind just give way. Here is an ideal time to start training your mind to command your emotions. Decide

on your intellectual priorities, assert them, and stick to them come what may. Command your will to fall on its knees, and tell your

emotions to shut up.An advisable strategy when shopping is to make a list of the things you NEED to buy. Make sure there is nothing that merely ap-

peals to emotion. Then, set out to the mall or grocery with a strong determination to stick to your list. When you are in the actual

shopping place, dozens of promotions and special discounts will try to lure you in aborting your original plan. Tell yourself — or any-

body with you who is trying to veer you off course — that “we came here for some denite goals, and that non-priority product is not

one of them!”

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3. ALWAYS BE ANALYTICAL.

Train yourself to assume an analytical attitude. Daily, you are presented with various life situations that challenge you to either act

or just react. In other words, these situations goad you to be intellectually or emotionally willed. Situations are analyzed by the mindwhich sends a report to your emotions. Then everything usually ends with an emotional burst. You just react.

This time reverse the ending. Act rather than react. Analyze everything. Tell yourself, “Now wait a minute. Before I let this silly thing

scare me or make me angry, I want to make sure it’s really scary or worth being angry about. If it’s nothing, I don’t want to waste

time or energy on it.”

If it turns out to be scary, ask yourself why you need to let it scare you. Will you just allow it to make you react? Are you just going

to let it dictate how you would feel? Reacting in exactly the way a stimulus “wants” you to only gives “satisfaction” to it. So why give

it what it wants? For sure, there is a better option available to you: Ignore the stimulus. Act in reverse. Don’t let your emotions lead

your mind on the way it should think. Let your mind lead your emotion on the way it should act or react.

4. PRACTICE BEING LOGICAL.

Many say being logical is the exact opposite of being emotional. Like analysis, logic is one of the deadly tools of the mind. Logic

whips emotions to obedience, somewhat like the way lion tamers crack the whip to make the beast sit and behave. When logic

tames the emotions, the will acts more rmly. Logic enforces what the mind wants to accomplish. It gives legitimacy to the mind as a

ruler. It’s like a president of a nation winning an election by a landslide.

Finishing your schooling before marriage is a good goal. The practical mind will go for it. But just because your mind has as good

a goal as nishing your schooling, doesn’t necessarily mean the emotions will also jump with excitement — especially when your

heart is aching to marry the woman you love. Logic may add power to your mind. It may argue that a nished education makes for a

more stable career that can make lots of money. All these spell a good marriage and a good future for the family. You do not negate

your emotions by this; but rather, you put them in their proper perspective. Problems only arise the moment you deprive yourself of your right to emotions. Commanding emotions does not mean restraining them, but putting them in their proper places.

5. ACT ON NEEDS, NOT DESIRES.

Always act based on a need, not on a desire. Train yourself to screen your motives always. Choose only what you need and set

aside what you merely desire. Your needs need immediate attention. Your desires, well, they can be ignored for a while. Return to

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them when you are trained enough to have your mind as the master of your will and emotions. While in training, never give in to any

desire that detracts you from the more important things in life.

6. STARVE YOUR EMOTIONS A LITTLE.

Emotions are needed, but we need to tame them to submit to our minds. To make your emotions submit, you must have them a bit

weaker than your mind. Thus, feed your mind with practicality feasts, and sometimes starve your emotions. If you’re given a choice

between seeing a movie or cleaning the whole house, go for the latter. If you love roasted turkey or beefsteak, and you’re given a

choice between these or bland vegetables, then settle for the latter. Do this often. Cut down on the number of times you give way to

what you love doing, and stress more on what you think ought to be done.

7. LEARN TO LOVE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

Doing what you don’t like is the worst scenario to have in life. Besides, it is bad for your health. Even if you do what you think ispractical, if you don’t love it, you fail nonetheless. It only means that your mind has only conquered the will, but not the emotions.

The emotions remain unconquered and rebellious, just waiting for the right time to re-assert itself back to the throne. The result will

be a life full of sacrices - forcing yourself on something you don’t like to do. This is typical of the convinced overweight who decided

on a rigid diet of everything he hated to eat. It went on for a while. Soon he gave up. His love for unhealthy foods is just too much to

overcome.

The proper way is to train the mind, not just to defeat the emotions; but also to make them submit, so that it commands the emo-

tions. Without this, the mind’s victory will just be temporary. The mind must be able to “teach” the emotions to love what is needful.

After sessions of the exercises listed in this book (plus several more from your self-devised strategies), you gradually subdue your

emotions, “mold” them, feed them with what is practical and correct, until your emotions begin to really “love” to do what your mindcommands them to. Soon, you would be surprised to see that your emotions have been so accustomed to the assertions of your

mind that they would even begin to “hate” to do things that merely cater to vain desires.

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CHAPTER FIVE

True sTOrIes Of peOple COmmandIng emOTIOns

Here are true-to-life examples that show the mind (if strong and trained to prevail) can teach and command the emotions and will.

They can ignore a stimulus that incites a negative reaction. Instead, a positive action can be produced to take over an otherwise

chaotic situation.

1. One of the greatest leaders ever known, Jesus Christ introduced the concept of loving the enemy, turning the other cheek when

slapped on the face, carrying the baggage for 2 miles when your foe tells you to carry it for a mile, and praying for those who insult

you, among other positive actions against offensive stimuli. He and his true disciples have been known to turn the world upside

down. Jesus is known to have taught that the spirit should make the esh obey.

2. Mahatma Gandhi, a guru and spiritual leader of India when the British still ruled over it, was known never to have reacted nega-

tively to any issue. He started the non-violent campaign of civil disobedience or non-participation in an unjust government adminis-

tration. Instead of getting angry and getting even, he introduced “fasting” or abstinence from eating any food. People who can fastfor days like Gandhi can command bodily urges to submit to the mind. This is the Hindu practice of self-denial.

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CONCLUSION

Success is everybody’s business. Nobody wants to fail. The role of a powerful mind cannot be overemphasized when we talk of

success. No doubt, an empowered mind is a big step towards triumph. Emotions are good. We need them to express and conrm

our will which the mind has decided on. Being too emotional, however, works to our disadvantage. It destroys the ability of the mind

to judge stimuli rationally (or see things clearly), and subordinates it to the will and emotions. The mind, when always subjected tosuch wrong judgment, would later adapt to the frequent error and can misinterpret everything.

Feelings are seldom accurate. They are poor perceivers. They can get to a certain amount of truth, but clouds of emotions often blur

the truth. Feelings are designed as a latter action or reaction after the mind has arrived at a conclusion. Feelings are not supposed

to act as a lead or a perceiver. Much less, they are not to be given power to decide a nal conclusion. Emotions are there to support

what the mind has commanded the will. Perception is designed to ascertain correctness. The mind is the apt organ for perceiving.

Perception can be honed to such sharpness and accuracy that truth becomes plainer to see. When you see the whole picture of a

situation with your mind, and give the mind total command, you are better equipped to respond.

There are times when you have an accurate perception of a stimulus, but then the emotions independently decide on a differentcourse. The will, at a loss as to where to go (there are times when you are “undecided” about something), would cling to the stron-

ger force, which is either the mind or the emotions. If this is always the case, you see an indecisive person always unsure about

things. He is easily torn between a whim and a thought.

The mind clearly ought to rule over emotion and will. There should be no compromise in this. Success depends largely on how em-

powered the mind is. The mind is trained to rule through daily simple exercises that intensify as progress goes. It is programmed to

command and be obeyed by the emotions by telling the will to take its side against a negative emotion, or vice versa. The mind can

also tell the emotions to take its side against a stubborn will.

As the mind progresses and given more power, it is then transported into a higher dimension of power — the power to command

things outside the body.

Mind empowerment has lots of positive benets. On a personal level, you can command a positive emotion and attitude to surface

from your inner self at just the wink of an eye. It can improve your image with colleagues and other people. You can become a very

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CONCLUSION cont

patient, understanding, and broad-minded person, seldom manifesting negative behavior, and often approaching things with an

open mind. Mind power can make you see things clearly and more objectively. You can assess situations better, with a clear mind

and heart, and become a person of integrity and resoluteness. In a word, it makes you a well-rounded person.

A truly empowered mind can make you affect other people and your environment as well. In an extreme sense, you may be able to

see yourself actually commanding nature to work according to the urgency of your situation. If an emergency requires that you go to

a place but a storm happens to be raging, you may be able to command the storm to cease for a while so that you can get to your

destination safely. Commanding in this sense must not be used for mere entertainment or proving that you have power to do things.

It must be used for extreme emergencies—for positive purposes alone.

These things may all sound crazy for the uninitiated. But there are people living today who actually claim and record that these su-

pernatural occurrences are true to them. The ability has helped them and other people a lot in times of crisis.

If it’s easy to see such a world, and that sight is believed by an authoritative mind, the rest will follow. We will be writing history in a

new light.

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