emotional intelligence for project managers, may 2, 2014

Business Book Summaries April 21, 2014 Copyright 2014 EBSCO Publishing Inc. www.ebscohost.com All Rights Reserved

April 21, 2014

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers The People Skills You Need to Achieve Outstanding Results

Anthony Mersino

2013 Anthony C. MersinoAdapted by permission of AMACOM, a division of American Management AssociationISBN: 978-0-8144-3277-8

Key Concepts Project managers wishing to improve their man-

agement and leadership abilities must invest in emotional intelligence. This means using emo-tions to enhance thinking, understand others, and employ empathy.

A project managers resources will determine proj-ect success or failure. Only with the right skills, experience, and motivations will team members succeed. Therefore, it is critical for project manag-ers to get the right team members and be able to retain them until the project ends.

A successful project manager must be able to iden-tify an organizations key power relationships. This means recognizing the individuals who have power and control over projects, including those people who influence the decision makers.

Project management means getting work done through others. This requires the competencies of effective communication, inspiring and motivat-ing others, managing conflict, and decisiveness.

Conflict is endemic within projects and must be managed effectively. The best performing people assigned to projects also tend to be the most dif-ficult to work with, and emotional intelligence provides the tools to work with them and develop productive relationships.

Emotions are a valuable source of incoming infor-mation. Project managers who are in touch with their own emotions are better placed to use the associated information to make better informed decisions.

Project managers who understand their team members and themselves can communicate more effectively. This understanding enables them to choose words and messages that best connect with team members and stakeholders.

Emotional intelligence can set a projects emo-tional tone. It enables project managers to create success by fostering commitment, active coopera-tion, and high morale.

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers Anthony Mersino


IntroductionProject managers require more than knowledge to succeed at their tasks. Strong interpersonal skills and the ability to recognize emotional cues are now essential tools for team leadership. In Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers, Anthony Mersino explains how emotional intelligence, the ability to rec-ognize and understand emotions as well as employ them in the decision-making process, is a crucial asset in successful project management. Effective project managers (PMs) can use emotional intelligence to communicate clearly, set the tone and goals for their projects, engage and motivate team members, foster collaboration, and counter stress and discord. With-out these interpersonal competencies PMs risk seeing even the best organized projects fail.

An Introduction to Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is the knowledge and manage-ment of ones own emotions and those of others for improved performance. It is an essential tool for proj-ect managers, who must work effectively with others in order to achieve success. Research has shown a strong correlation between emotional intelligence and project success, with all types of projects benefitting from the related competencies of self-awareness, con-scientiousness, sensitivity, and communication.

Project managers need emotional intelligence for sev-eral reasons. First, each project is unique, and as PMs move from one project to another they encounter dif-ferent teams, sponsors, and stakeholders. PMs must master the skills to assess, understand, and manage the emotions of team members and stakeholders to establish relationships. Second, the temporary nature of projects requires PMs to move quickly and develop relationships early in the project to form the founda-tions for success. Finally, PMs have limited power and authority over team members and cannot simply order them to perform required tasks; this is why strategies of inspiring, motivating, and leading are needed to achieve project objectives.

The first element of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This is the ability to recognize ones own emotions and the influence they exert. One way in which emotions manifest themselves is physically.

The body can experience temperature swings, accel-erated heart rate, muscle tightness, fatigue, and other sensations. These sensations should be evaluated until one can interpret what they reflect in terms of associated emotional feelings. Facial expressions are another medium of emotional display; a persons face can reflect emotions of sadness, anger, excitement, or happiness. Recognizing these expressions and their emotional meanings can be a valuable tool in enhanc-ing ones powers of self-awareness.

Another element of emotional intelligence is accurate self-assessment. This is the ability to evaluate oneself accurately and seek feedback from others to improve personal performance. PMs who master this task are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, learn from their experiences, are receptive to honest feedback, and have a sense of perspective about themselves.

Just as important is the presence that comes with self-confidence. PMs should be able to present them-selves with self-assurance, be willing to express potentially unpopular views, and be able to make difficult decisions. Self-confidence enables one to feel a level of comfort that facilitates better communica-

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tion and relationships with project team members and stakeholders, thereby enabling improved perfor-mance and enhanced results.

PMs can improve their emotional self-awareness by using monitoring techniques to make ongoing assess-ments of their feelings. One way is through keeping a written record throughout the day on experiences and the feel-ings resulting from them. Simple entries can form a useful record that, over time, may reveal pat-terns of cause and effect that will provide useful insights into emotions and their behavioral influences.

Another form of monitoring is backtracking. This is the retracing of ones activities to determine why a par-ticular emotion is being felt. A PM feeling the onset of a negative feeling can think back from the present to earlier in the day and identify the specific event that triggered the negativity. Once the source is identified, it can be examined and addressed.

The most effective monitoring will take place in an environment of quiet reflection. Therefore, it is advisable to take some time every day to relax and think back on recent events. One can use meditation, breathing exercises, or any other activity that assists relaxation and enables thoughtful examination of ones feelings.

PMs who master emotional intelligence will set themselves apart from other PMs. They will be able to achieve more with the same team. They will excel in their careers. And they will feel more satisfied with themselves and their relationships with others.

About the AuthorAnthony Mersino, PMP, PMI-ACP, is an Agile Transformation Coach and IT program man-ager with more than 27 years of experience. He has delivered large-scale business solutions to clients that include Abbot Labs, IBM, Unisys, ARAMARK, and Wolters Kluwer. He has also provided enterprise agile coaching for The Car-lyle Group, Bank of America, Hayneedle, and Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota. He lives in Chicago, Illinois.

Project Management Begins with Self-Management Self-management involves managing personal emotions in order to control ones behavior. Self-man-agement uses techniques that help regulate emotions, perceive and head off emotional triggers, and identify and prevent thoughts that invite emotional crises.

Self-management and control are highly influenced by self-awareness, which is useful in disarming nega-tive emotions. Self-control is actually the maintenance of composure under stress. Given the harmful effects of negative emotions in a team environment, it is natural that project managers seek to master them to prevent damage to project dynamics. The damage can be caused by:

Furious tirades: Explosions of anger at the work-place, in public, or in private.

E-mail ordnance: Angry expressions, through modern office technology, of irritation, frustra-tion, and resentment.

Withdrawal: Team members avoid meetings, become uncommunicative, and sometimes avoid specific project members.

Criticizing: Insecure people may voice unwar-ranted criticism of others with the intention of causing hurt.

Sarcasm: A means to cause hurt without directly addressing the truth.

Emotional breakdowns are often triggered by specific emotional stimuli. Knowing what these stimuli are and how to deal with them can remove the threats that these triggers pose. Sometimes, foreshadowing, or the anticipation of the worst, can be the trigger. This occurs when one predicts negative outcomes of future events. Defeating this problem is sometimes as easy as identifying the pattern of negative thinking and using another person as a sounding board to get a



trusted opinion whether a suspected negative potenti-ality truly exists. Logic is another weapon. Analyzing the foreshadowing on the basis of its logical under-pinning will often reveal it to be without basis.

Emotional breakdowns can also be caused by distorted thinking, a form of self-imposed depression that can make one vulnerable to emotional disturbance. One form of distorted thining is All or Nothing think-ing, which is the belief that the slightest imperfection equals failure. Recognizing the fallacy of this is the best defense against the imperfection vulnerability. A similar emotional threat is the tendency to dwell only on the negative. By focusing only the unpleasant things that happen, negativity can become the reality. Again, it is important to realize that there are positive things that outweigh the negative. The most effective counter to this thinking is to remind oneself of past and current success, achievement, and progress.

Self-control techniques are useful in resisting emo-tional breakdowns. Individuals need to know their specific emotional triggers, the patterns of distorted thinking, and the things that bolster their emotional resilience. Personal health is also important; this means eating healthy foods, getting sufficient sleep, and exercising. Talking freely with good friends, trusted acquaintances, and mentors can also help; the opinions of these people will help to place negative thoughts in their proper perspective.

Building Project Stakeholder Relationships Social awareness is the facility of evaluating situations and people and understanding and empathizing with others emotions. This is important for project man-agers because they work through others and cannot succeed without them.

Empathy is crucial to social awareness because it enables the PM to see matters from other peoples points of view and gain better understanding as a result. Empathetic listening, listening without judging,

is a key tool. This means letting another speak with-out interruption, giving full attention and making eye contact, and focusing only on that person while sus-pending judgment.

Being able to assess others feelings is also impor-tant. This means listening for words that convey their emotions, such as disappointed, concerned, or ner-vous. The speakers may not attach much significance to those words, but they are communicating more than they are aware. Physical appearances can also show feelings, both in facial expressions and body language. The PM who recognizes the meaning of a scowling face and folded arms has an advantage in assessing feelings.

Social awareness also involves the concept of orga-nizational awareness. This is the ability to accurately discern and understand the social, political, and cul-tural forces within an organization, as well as its key power relationships. The easiest way to understand an organizations culture and values is to read its mis-sion statement. These statements often take the form of wall posters, advertising slogans, and other pro-motional materials. Other insights can be obtained by examining an organizations distribution of awards. This means understanding who gets promoted and why, as well as identifying the specific behaviors that get rewarded and punished.

Determining key power rela-tionships means identifying the people who have power and polit-ical influence over projects. These people reveal themselves when they make decisions that actu-ally impact a project. A systematic

approach to evaluating power relationships is essen-tial because without recognizing decision makers, one cannot manage stakeholders.

Stakeholder relationships are important, and man-aging them involves carefully developing contacts and understandings with stakeholders to gain their support for a project. A stakeholder is a person who is impacted by a project or who can cause its fail-ure. Stakeholders can be senior management, the customers program management office, vendors, suppliers, or end users of the deliverable. Once they

If we dont manage our emotions in the project environment, very bad things can happen. In addition to poisoning the atmosphere of the team, we can get a reputation for being out of control.



are identified, their information should be collected and analyzed. This means understanding stakeholder roles on the project and their objectives. It is also important to determine the best communication style to use with themsome may prefer brief face-to-face meetings while others may prefer e-mail or telephonic communication. With the communication style selected, PMs can then obtain needed information from and provide information to the right people using the methods that work best. This approach is the best for creating solid relation-ships with the individuals whose support is vital to project success.

Another aspect of relationship management is that of developing others. This means increasing team members capabilities and building team cohesion. One useful approach is to acknowledge and reward specific skills and contributions, thereby showing appreciation. Another developmental method is to provide practical feedback and identify those areas where an individual needs further growth; this should be communicated as an investment in the individuals potential for contribution. Finally, a proficient PM will give relevant coaching as needed and assign tasks that challenge and nourish a persons skills.

Another component of relationship management is that of telling the truth. This means using an unvarying openness in communicating with others, something that is not always easy. It can involve tactfully dis-agreeing with superiors, saying no to someone who clearly expects yes, and voicing existing issues with another person. Some topics may be difficult to address and will require courage to bring to light, but telling the truth requires risk taking in order to develop the relationship. Ultimately, the respect a PM earns for being truthful can become a key element of project success.

Using EQ to Lead Project Teams Project team leadership is the dominating focus of emotional intelligence competency for PMs. It means obtaining the right people for the team, motivating and communicating successfully, resolving conflict, and removing obstacles so that team members can achieve project objectives. Good communication is

essential here and is one of the most vital skills for a PM. Much of the PMs management activities will involve moving around to talk with team members or stakeholders. Sitting in meetings, participating in telephone conversations, and sending emails are additional communications tasks that must be done well to ensure effective leadership.

PMs can best craft communications by using the fol-lowing steps:

1. Determine the objectiveBefore issuing instructions or seeking information from others, understand the point of the communication, whether it be to obtain a progress update, recognize a team mem-bers contribution, or motivate a team member to work harder.

2. Understand personal emotionsPMs should be aware of their own emotions before selecting the method and content of communication. This facilitates the accuracy of the communication and reduces the probability of ambiguity.

3. Select the appropriate time, place, and modeDeliv-ering bad news as team members are leaving for home is bad timing. Personal issues, such as poor performance, are best discussed in private. Firing should not be done by e-mail, and instant messag-ing is a poor medium for a contentious discussion.

4. Listen and respond to the emotions of othersPMs must be able to discern the difference between the content of what people say and the emotions that underlie it. It may be more appropriate to respond to the emotions rather than the precise wording of the expression.

Team meetings are essential components of project management, and PMs can maximize their utility by using these approaches:

Begin by stating meeting objectives and the agenda.

Leading others is all about relationships. If we build solid relationships with team members and other project stakeholders, we improve our ability to lead. Without relationships, leadership is difficult or impossible.



Assess the groups emotions; if people seem bored or tense, do not hesitate to ask why.

Show respect for others; this applies to team members not in attendance.

Enforce appropriate expressions of emotions; reproach sarcasm or malicious criticism.

Address conflict; where it arises, examine, dis-cuss, and work to resolve it.

Conflict is unavoidable on projects. Time, cost, and scope are potential fuels for conflagration wherever people must interact to achieve project goals. There will also be conflict over resources, recognition, responsibilities, reporting structures, and person-alities. Without proper management, conflict will disrupt productivity and may even lead to failure. Project managers must first recognize it when it arises and then choose one of several methods of remov-ing it. Possible methods include compromise, which does not entirely satisfy each party but offers some measure of identifiable benefit. Compromise is best in situations where the stakes are not high. Another method is accommodation, which works to emphasize areas of agreement and attempts to minimize points of conflict. Its drawback is that problems can be sub-merged only to reappear at another time.

Forcing is another conflict resolution technique. It actually requires the suppression of disagreement, usually by the PMs clear statement that conflict will not be tolerated. It fails to address the cause of the discord and should only be used when time is lim-ited or when no other solution appears to be viable. The most effective method is confrontationfacing the conflict directly and employing problem-solving techniques to break down the disagreement. Con-frontation exposes the conflict elements to full view for examination so that the underlying causes can be addressed.

Emotional intelligence is an effective tool in conflict resolution because it facilitates the understanding of opposing parties feelings and helps in identifying underlying needs. These may include the need to be recognized, to be considered important, the desire to be productive, and the need for self-expression.

Project managers must use emotional intelligence to create a project environment that is positive and productive for the team. They do this by setting the

projects tone and direction with specific leadership conduct. First, they lead by example. They show themselves willing to take on dif-ficult tasks, sacrifice their own interests, and never assign any team member a chore that they would not do themselves. Second,

they are optimistic. They set positive expectations for team performance and project outcomes. Team members feel heightened senses of creativity when they are directed by optimistic leaders and perform accordingly. Third, they establish team values. These are the expected norms of the team and represent an accepted standard of how team members will act and treat each other. Naturally, PMs must enforce these norms, whether they mean showing up for work on time, attending meetings, or judicious use of team resources. Enforcement shows team members that the PM treats everyone fairly and in accordance with stated expectationsan underpinning of good morale.

Projects of greater size and complexity require PMs to have enhanced levels of emotional intelligence. PMs will encounter the following on larger projects:

Stakeholder conflictdisagreements about objec-tives and approaches.

Layers of stafflarger project teams that may be divided into subteams headed by other PMs.

Subcontractors and vendorsthird parties that require effective PM communication skills in order to deliver desired results.

Virtual teamsstaff that are in remote locations and removed from daily face-to-face PM contact.

A great deal of conflict that we experience on projects could be reduced or eliminated if we simply tried to understand the other persons point of view before we tried to convince them of our own message. We need to listen with the intention of understanding what others are trying to say.



In larger projects, the most successful PMs will be those who step away from the daily minutia of activities and deliveries and instead concentrate on leadership, coaching, stakeholder management, and task facilitation. The primary tool for this effort will be delegation. PMs who find this difficult should start delegating small tasks and work upward. Those who receive delegated responsibilities must be made to understand their accountability.

Management of virtual teams presents its own chal-lenges, largely because of team members placement in different locations. This means that emotional intelligence has to be employed to get the most effectiveness out of telephonic and e-mail communi-cations. It is strongly recommended that PMs have at least one face-to-face meeting with each team member at an early stage of the project. This assists in later communication when the PMs can remember the earlier physical meetings and picture facial expres-sions and body language. Project communications can be greatly enhanced with available technology, which can include a project web site, blogs, instant messaging, bulletin and discussion boards, and video conferencing. Teleconferences are one of the most important means of project communications, and it is vital that they not be overly formalized or struc-tured. PMs can build relationships with virtual team members by encouraging them to talk about their viewpoints, interests, goals, and even hobbies.

Agile projects may pose a different challenge for the PM but can be effectively managed using emotional intelligence. Agile teams are generally self-organizing groups working on new product or service develop-ment efforts in a very flexible and interactive manner. Most team activities are performed by the team with little PM participation. This means the PM must avoid heavy-handed involvement that might squelch team creativity and inventiveness.

The substitute for PM direction and control in these teams is servant leadership. Servant leadership means making the requirements of others a priority and then serving them. Agile leaders function best in this role when they remove obstacles and assist the team to improve collaborative performance. PMs stuck in the traditional command mindset can ben-efit from adopting a different set of approaches. First,

they should refrain from offering advice and instead place the focus on team problem resolution. Second, they must release expectations of specific results and focus on team learning and growth. Lastly, they must be willing to let teams fail, not spectacularly but in the sense of learning from a misstep.

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Features of the BookEstimated Reading Time: 56 hours, 278 pages

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers intro-duces the concepts of emotional intelligence and presents the ways in which it can be applied to achieve project goals. The book would benefit proj-ect managers who wish to enhance their leadership, communications, motivational, and developmen-tal skills. It contains numerous figures and tables to illustrate its major points, and Anthony Mersino has provided many anecdotes detailing his experiences in project management. Some chapters end with per-sonal action plans to assist readers in setting down specific emotional intelligence development tasks. A set of appendices provide assessment tools. The book should be read in order to preserve its continuity.

ContentsAcknowledgments

Part One: An Introduction to Emotional Intelligence

1. My Growth in Emotional Intelligence

A Dangerous Situation

Emotional Mastery for Project Managers

Project Management Is Competitive

The Rules for Project Managers Have Changed

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Measuring Your Emotional Intelligence

The Good News About Emotional Intelligence

Applying Emotional Intelligence to Project Man-agement

Emotional Intelligence Is Vital to Project Manag-ers

2. A Brief Primer on Emotional Intelligence



The Popularity of Emotional Intelligence

Some Useful Definitions

How to Improve Your Understanding of Emo-tional Intelligence Concepts

Learning About Emotional Intelligence Is Only the First Step

Part Two: Project Management Begins with Self-Management

3. Self-Awareness

An Introduction to Self-Awareness

Emotional Self-Awareness

Accurate Self-Assessment

Self-Confidence

Techniques to Improve Your Self-Awareness

Personal Action Plan: Self-Awareness

4. Self-Management

The Emotional Intelligence Model for Project Management

Self-Control

Prethinking or Foreshadowing

Techniques to Improve Our Self-Control

Personal Action Plan: Self-Management

Part Three: Building Project Stakeholder Relation-ships

5. Social Awareness

An Introduction to Social Awareness

Empathy

Seeing Others Clearly

Organizational Awareness

Emotional Boundaries

Techniques for Improving Our Social Awareness

Personal Action Plan: Social Awareness

6. Relationship Management

An Introduction to Relationship Management

Stakeholder Relationships

Developing Others

Telling the Truth

Additional Principles of Relationship Building

Techniques for Managing Relationships on Proj-ects

Personal Action Plan: Relationship Management

Part Four: Using EQ to Lead Project Teams

7. Project Team Leadership

An Introduction to Project Team Leadership

Communications

Methods of Project Communications

Conflict Management

Inspirational Leadership

Additional Considerations for Team Leaders

Techniques for Improving Project Team Leader-ship

Personal Action Plan: Project Team Leadership

8. Creating a Positive Team Environment

What Makes a Great Project Team?

How PMs Set the Tone and Direction for the Proj-ect

The Team Within the Team

Techniques for Creating a Positive Team Environ-ment

Personal Action Plan: Creating a Positive Team Environment

9. Leveraging Emotional Intelligence on Large and Complex Projects

Are You Ready to Lead Large and Complex Proj-ects?

Characteristics of Large and Complex Projects

Concerns for Large-Scale Project Managers

Applying Different Leadership Styles

Applying Emotional Intelligence to Virtual Proj-ect Teams



Emotional Intelligence Techniques for Large and Complex Projects

Personal Action Plan: Leveraging Emotional Intel-ligence on Large and Complex Projects

10. Success with Agile Projects

Agile Project Managers, Scrum Masters, Coaches, and Team Leaders

Servant Leadership Is an Alternative to Com-mand and Control

Agile Leaders Need to Be Emotionally Intelligent

Social Awareness and Relationship Management

Positive Regard

Techniques for Improving Our Success with Agile Projects

Personal Action Plan: Success with Agile Projects

Epilogue

Appendices

A. Emotional Tally Sheet

B. Assessment for Emotional Self-Awareness and Self-Control

C. Stakeholder Management Tool

D. Emotional Intelligence Movies and Scenes

E. Books on Emotional Intelligence

F. Emotional Intelligence Assessment Instruments

Index

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