embracing religion

8/9/2019 Embracing Religion

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Embracing eligionSpiritual ools fo help meetmediation challenges

By HeidiM.Tauscher

ESPITE THE INCREASINGLY

urgent cty to identifYadditionalmediation-practice

tools, many mediators have not seri-

ously considered eligion as a potential

source of effective mediation practices.

Although mediators have traditionally

turned to the fields ofpsychology and

counseling for guidance, both the sep-

aration of ehurch and state in the

U.S. and the prevalence of religious

conflicts throughout the world have

discouraged mediators tiom seeking

guidance from religious traditions.

Though traditionally ignored bymediators, religions possessa treasure

of indispensable peacernaking tools

and conflict-resolution strategies that

ca n inspire openness, airness,empa-

thy, compa ssion and imagination.'

It is the goal ofthis article to iden-

tify some of the practical mediation

tools revealed in five of the world's

major religious traditions, as weil as to

examine how those skills are relevant

to the four stages of the mediation pro-

cess.

Note that these spiritual ski lls wili

be offered from an etic or outsider's

perspective and therefore will lack the

complexity that grounds them in the

faith of true believers. The concepts

are offered not to proselytize or con-

vert, but simply to furnish mediators

with another set of peacemaking tools.

The challenge remains for the medi

ators to translate these concepts and

their own emft or insider understand-

ings of peacemaking into the context

of their mediations, as well as to teach

and inspire the mediating parties to

utilize these practices and their own

peacemakingskills to affect lasting res-

olutions.

Each of the four mediation stases

Heidi M. Tauscher ls a certlfled atlorney

medlator and a Ph.D. candidate al Emory Uni-

ve9lty's Graduate SchootOt Arts and S6ren@s,

Dtvlston Ol Rettgtan. s'hs can b6 r@ehed at

[email protected]

- openingstatements, egotiations,

assessment f potential resolutionsand creationof enforceable ettlement

agreements presents the mediator

with its own uniqueset of challengesthat may be addressed hrough spiri-

tual lessonsdrawn from religioustra-

ditions suchasBuddhism.Hinduism.

Judaism, hristianity nd slam.

Stageone: establishing apport

As the mediatorenters he medi-

ationprocess, racticing he spiritual

art of compassionateawarenesscan

be extremely helpful in meeting themediator'schallenge o establish ap-port and create trust between thepartiesand himself/herself. The Bud-dhist practiceof karuna (compassion)

involves taking the time to empa-thetically focus on the participants

come of kinship and peace,but also

connotes onfidence n the future real-ization of a robustcommunal elation-

ship typified by respectand integrity,

peace ndjustice,wholenessnd lour-

ishing.'This s not to suggest hat themediatoruse he word shalom, ut thathe/she s mindful of the atmosphere

that nitial interactionsestablish.From

Jewishspirituality, the mediator earns

that the initial greeting s an opportu-

nity to establishrapport, win trust in

themediator,drawpartiesout of them-

selves,nstill confidencen theprocess,

establish espectbetween adversariesand createanticipation of a positive

outcome.Through initial statements, the

mediatorwill introduce he mediationprocess, stablishhe governing ro

cedures and create he ground rules.

Thoughraditionallygnored y mediators,eligions old

atreasure f indispensableeacemakingoolsandconf ct-resoltionstrategieshatcan nspi eopen ess,

fairness,mpathy,ompassionnd magination.

in th e room.' With conscious ntent,

the mediator approaches those pres-

ent compassionately aware of the dis-putants' frustration, opponents' anger

and participants' anxiety. Attentive to

the attitudes and feelings ofthe par-

ties, the mediator may begin to reduce

fear, engender respect and encourage

optimism. Through warmth and com-

passion, the mediator builds rapport

and models the behavior that the par-

ties will be encouraged to show one

another throughout the mediation pro-cess.

The mediator's initial greeting of

the parties will set the tone for the

mediation. Judaism eaches he impor

tance of commencing gestures through

its tradition sf shalom greeting. The

shalom address not only bids a wel-

The Islamic concept of hikmah may

be useful here because it ref-ers to

the wisdom of the qualified intervener.

While arbitration is the typical form

of Islamic conflict resolution between

individuals, hikmah or wisd om stress es

the duty of all mediators to lead the

parties to a resolution that is both legal

and moral. Hikmah emphasizes the

need for the third party intervener to

inlroduce the mediat ion process in a

sincere, impartial and knowledgeable

manner." This wise deportment allowsthe mediator to gain the trust and con-

fidence of the parties, as well as to

engender respect and adherence to the

mediation procedures.

Dur ing the in i t ia l interact ions

between parties and their opening

statements, he mediator has the oppor-

t3 SPRING 2OOI



TheHindu racfice f satygrahawascreated y Gandhisa disciplineo overcomeheangerandviolence reventingim rom hearinghe other'swords.Dedicatedo reveal-ing truth and ustice,Gandhiperfected atygrahaas patientperceptiveisteningfollowedby honestquestioningdesignedo bring moral accountabilityo the discussion.

tunity to begin to neutralize feelings

of anger, hatred and shame.' Christian

spirituality imparts the discipline of

nonaccusation. The admonition to

"judge not, lest ye be judged" coun-

sels a practice of neutrality in the

face of accusations, blame or shame.

Through this practice, the mediator

learns to listen openly, reservejudg-

ment and to deal impartially with the

parties. Remaining open to deal fairly

and flexibly with the parties, the medi-

ator rnodels a refusal to be mired

in controversy or bl inded by blame.

Instead, the mediator can focus on clar-

ification of the facts and narrow ins of

the issues.

In preparing th e parties to rnove

toward resolution, the mediator must

establish optimism concerning the out

come. Ahimsa is the Hindu practice

of noninjury concentrating upon the

value of the life force withinall other

beings. Gandhi insisted that th e result

of th is intentional. f ansformative prac-

tice wa s compassion, harmony and

liberation. Through ahirnsa plact ice,

the mediator may inspire th e parties'

compassion for one another and opti-

mism in mediated possibilities. Having

engendered respect and inspired opti-

mism, the mediator moves the parties

from the in it ia l jo in l. session to stage

two negotiations.

Stagewo: ostering reativityna

cooperative tmosphereDuring stage two of the media-

tion process, the parties begin negotia-

tions of their dispute in eamest. In this

phase, the mediator seeks to develop

th e parties' awareness of the need for

settlement arrd to ease thern out of

recalcitrant positions.

As negotiations begin, the media-

tor needs to foster respect and frust.

The Jewish concept ofmahloketdenotes

a type of constructive conflict that

honors both sides of the debate. Allolv-

ing for c1'mitf\e face of dis-

asreemenL m ah ok e he}Bs reformulate

t; d ispt", \ becaus/t antic ipates

that f rie nd sh\p-wiH4-wv i ve.' Th ro ugh

respect and optimistic anticipation of

an amicable resolution- the mediator

can set the stage for civility, honorable

negotiation, earnest conciliation and

peaceful resolution.

During the negotiations, th e medi-

ator wi l l want to inspire equanimity

between th e parties. Muslim spiritu

ality is founded upon th e principle of

al-islam. Translated as peace, al-islam

represents concord based upon social

equilibrium an d personal spiritual bal-

ance.' Understanding social harmony

as the basis for peace, the rnediator

can act in an evenhanded manner that

inspir.es the parties' trust in the inter-

vener, confidence in the process and

courage to share their experiences and

perceptions.

As the parties negotiate, it is impor-

tant for the mediator to model genu-

ine receptiveness and responsiveness.

The Buddhist practices of "ernpa-

thetic listening" and "mindful speech"

engender such behavior. "Empathetic

l is tening" involves hearing compas*

sionately without judgmcnt or reaction.

The communicati ve bond established

by the speaker remains unbroken by

the listener's words until tlre speaker's

Inessage is fully conveyed ancl heard.

Only then does the listener respond

with "mindful speech," aware of th e

effect of his/her words upon the audi-

ence. Words are spoken with the corn-

passionate understanding gained from

careful, deliberate listening.'

"Empathetic listening" and

"rnindful speech" allow the mediator

and parties to hear the ernotional

needs behind the disputants? lvords,

to become aware of the issues that

must be addressed for resolut ion and to

respectfully communicate their desire

to reach lasting settlement. Applying

these practices, the mediator may wish

to begin negotiations by acknorvledg-

ing the parties' courage to mediate

and complimenting their willingness to

resolve their disputes. Through such

interaction, the mediator may invite

each side to listen attentively without

interruption to the other's words seek-

ing to learn about the source of their

conflict. Each participant is then

encouraged to respectfully share his/

her perceptions of the conflict and

emotional investment in the outcome.

Successful negotiation requires the

parties to deepen thei r understandi ng

DISPUTE RESOLUTION MAGAZINE l4 SPRING 2OO4



of their own pel'ceptions f the con-

flict, aswell as heir opponents' iews.

The Hindu practice of satygvahaas

"rg-&4"-U_glttqlf$3-ai'eflllie-i.9y9!c9IL?q93!_e-r_gs4Jr*o,l9t9gge-venting him from hearing the other's

v/didt---D;ailatedloevealinsruthan-dTulC6,. -al{h-ie{erieos iieiirrtai- p[i1er!t. peJcgplive listening foj -toVedby honest uestioning esignedtb*brffi'Endftil atcd;'i.afti'fitt to ifib dis-

TheJewish oncept fmahloketdenotes typeofconstructiveonflicthathonors othsides

of thedebate, ndChristian criptureseach'forgive ndyoushall e orgiven.'

sibility that may aid the mediator nd

partiesn realistically ssessingettle-ment options. Because ll humans

are interdependent, arming anotherinjuresone's elf. n order o healpast

wrongs,Gandhibelieved hatpeople

must do continual yajna by acceptingthe responsibility o live peacefully."

The mediator may invite the parties

to accept esponsibilityor pastactions

and assess otential settlementalter-

natives for their efTect upon the par-

t ies'ongoing elat ionship.

As rnuch as possible, he mediatorwill want to encourage the parties

to interact directly with one another.

Face-to-face interaction facilitates rec-

onciliation by reduci ng chancesof mis-

communication and humanizing theparties to each other. To assist corr-

structive interaction, Buddhism offers

the practice of mettaor ki ndness culti-

vating goodwill toward others." Mod-

eling loving kindness, the mediator

may diffuse irritation through he inter-

jection of humor and perspective.

Further, the mediator can encourage

caring exchan ge over difficult issuesand divergent offers.

Through shuttle diplomacy, the

mediator may point the parties toward

mutuallybeneficialsolut ions. Th e

Jewish tradition offers the helpful role

of rodefshalom. The rodef shalom is the

"pursuerofpeace" who seeksout each

party to a conflict individually." Once

with a disputant,the rodefshalom ehc-

its that person's perspective ana liS'

tens to his/he r pain. The peacemaker

soothes he party, waiting for him/her

to release all emotion. ^then, the rodef

shalont searchesout the opponent to

render the same care. Building rap-

port through repeated ndividual visits,

the peacemaker uses these contacts

to convey positive messages and to

encourage econci liation on termsben-

eficial for both parties. Learning from

these Jewish traditions. the mediator

can use pa(y caucuses to draw ofT

excess motions, onvey messagesn a

positive light and encourageparties to

find win-win solutions.

While mediators cannot require

parties to pardon, the best resolutions

often occur after genuine forgiveness

an d reconcil iat ion.Christ ianscriptures

teach "forgive and you shall be for-

given."" As Christian exemplary, Jesus

forgave both his friends for their cow-

ardice and betrayal and his persecutors

for his crucifixion." The Greek word

reconciliation means o "walk together

again."" The Christian tradition calls

people to journey together as brothers

and sisters in community rather than

separateiyas enemies.By understand-

ing that forgiven ess brings healing and

reconciliation builds community, medi-

ators may encourage parties to release

their a nger, bury their grievances andforgive one another. In this way, the

parties may progress beyond mere set-

tlement to a lasting reconciliation of

their differences.

- Iediation is focused upon salvag-

ing the relationship between the par-

ties as well as within the community.

The Arabic word for community is'umma, which connotes a united people

or nation. While the Islamic tradition

of 'ummaadmits that communities will

always have some dissent, it insists

that reconciliation is key to restoring

social order and reintegrating dispu-tants into the larger community. The

Qu'ran insists "i f two parties of believ-

ers fall to fighting, then make peace

between them."" By understanding

that peace between the parties bene-

fits the entire community, the media-

tor encourages he parties to negotiate

fairly, propose us t terms and seek set-

tlements beneficial for their families

and comrnunity as well as themselves.

Stage four: inspiring talrness and

fidelity

The fburth stage of mediationinvolves finalization of a mutually

acceptable,enforceable settlement and

implementation of monitoring proce-

dures. Typically, the settlementagree-

ment is reduced to al writtgn form that

addressesall terms- The finalitv and

a

c

N-l i

a.if- i

a'

,Vl

X

cussion.'o Through this practice, both

inEbiator and participants use open

receptivityand truthful response to

appeal or eachparty's ruthful account-

ing and rnoral econcil iat ion.

Finally, the mediatormust inspire

the parties to open their minds and

hearts to alternative perceptions and

newpossibil i t ies. Christ ianunder-

standing includes the concept of meta-

noia, involving "the casting otfofthe

old mind and taking on a new mind."

Through this metamorphosis, the con-

sciousness is opened to new ways of

thinking and being. The rnediator

nlay use this concept to encourage he

parties to cultivate an open mind andllnd the courage to consider new al ter-

natives. To aid this process, he media-

tor may identify unspokenperceptions

and tacit assumptions. By disrupting

old mindsets, the mediator seeks to

open the way for new conceptions and

to inspire nnovativesolut ions.

Siage three: inviting receptivity

In the third mediation phase, the

mediator helps the parties assess he

mediation options generated during

negotiations and identify the alter-

native best meeting theirneeds.

During this process, he mediator must

i nspire receptivity, moderate exagger-

ated expectations and promote realis-

tic assessment f outcoilre.

The Hindu principle of'ajna pro-

vides a principle of collect ive respon-

DTSPIJTE RESOLU'|ION MAC;AZINE t5 SPRING 2OO4



enforceability of the agreement will

directly affect the ongoing relationship

between he pa{ies, as well as he need

for them to invest additional time.

money and resource. For this reason,

the mediator must not only motivate

the parties to voluntarily commit to

uphold fair terms, but also help them

sigr.ral termination of their dispute

through some meaningful gesture,sign

or ceremony.

Together, mediator and parties

work to finalize a written settlement

with enforceable conditions. The

Islamic concept of suhl rs a form of

just contract that ends conflict and bel-

ligerence allowing the parties to con-

duct their relationship in peace and

amity. Understood as imposing defini-

tive terms and binding condition s, the

sruftl nds hostilities. The parties thenpledge to fbrget past occurrences and

initiate new amicable relations." Ina similar manner, the mediator must

impress upon the parties the defini-

tive, binding nature of their final writ-

ten settlement, not only to ensure hey

abide by the terms, but also to rede-

f ine their relat ionship n a new, posl-

tive light.

It may help for the parties to

understand their settlement as estab-

lishing a trust between them. Jewish

tradition has developed the idea of

covenant as a sacred elationship based

upon fidelity to unbreakable terms and

reciprocal conditions. " Through thisrobust understanding of relational loy-

alty and mutuality, the mediator can

rmpress upon the parties the binding

nature of their settlement and the neg-

ative effect that a breach has upon the

parties' ongoing relationship.

lmplementation of the agreed set-

tlement will require parties to act with

fairness andself-control. Buddhism

emphasizes the transformational effect

of cultivating the inner discipline to

behave responsibly and act compas-

sionately." Through meeting the set-

tlement terms, the parties are not onlychanging their behavi or, but also trans-forming their way of relating to one

another.

After implementation, settlement

monitoring and enforcement become

key co ncerns. Hinclu dhma tiesone's

DISPUTE RESOLUTION MAGAZINE

dhatma, a mediator can impress upon

the parties that their breach of settle-

ment terrns not only negatively affects

them, but also their relatives, friends

and neighbors.

Once the settlement agreement s

understood, finalized and signed, the

mediator has the remaining obligationto assist the parties in signaling the

end of their dispute. Christian table

fellowship provides a useful model as

the ending of hostilities and beginning

of a asting, ositive hangen thepar-

ties' elationship.

In our ncreasingiyluralistic oci-

ety, religious traditions provide aninvaluable esourceor conflict management ndpractice. Yet, we have

just begun heprocess f tapping piri-tualpracticesor the nsights, ractices

andskills hat heycan engender.

virtue o upholding ne'sworldly duty a sacred itual where enmity is con-or obligation. This moral responsi- sciously etaside nd ood s sharednbility is met by performing esponsi- genuine ellowship." Inspired by theble actions that meet this duty and communionmeal, he mediatormaythereby,maintain he stabilityof soci- devisea closing itual thatprovidesaety." Infbrmed by the concept of comfortable, ongenial elebration f

Whilehe slamicraditiononcerningumma dmitsthat ommunitiesil lalwaysave ome issent,t nsists

that econciliations key o restoringocial rder ndreintegratingisputantsnto he arger ommunity.

Endnotes

r Dafai Lama and Howard C. Cutlsr, M.D.,THE " Ch.istopher Queen, ThePeace wheel. Nonvi-

ART OF HAPPINESS 9,87 (1 gga);Thich Nhat Hanh, olentActivi sm in Buddhist Traditioti, in SUBVERTING

ESSENTTAL RITINGS 9,1 5 (2001). HATRED, supra nots 6, at 30; Hanh, supra note 2, at

105,1 56.s

Rabbi Sleve S- Schwa uschild," SHALOM;.THE CHAL-

LENGEOFSHALoM7-18 (1994)- '6 Abot de Rabbi Nathan Xll; Gopin,supra note l,

at 137-13a,'ta2-1a6.

" Ahmed Mousslli. An /sraurcModel tor PolilicalContlictResorulron:Tahkim,in PEACEANDCONFTICT ' ' Luke6:31;seealsoMatthsw6:14; Mark11:25.

RESOLUTION N ISLAM 146 (2001);Ralph H. Salim,et a l . ,

rsLAMAN DcoNFlrcr REsoLUTtoN 13i. 13 2 1998). ' ' Luke 2r ,31 23:34.

s Matth€w 7:1; Luke 6:37: John 7:24,8:15. 'o Megan McKenna, RITES OFJUSTICE 12 8 (1997).

6SunandaY-Shaslri&Yaineshwars.Shastri,'?QU'BAN49:9,

Ahimsoand the Unity of All Things: AHindu View

ol Nonviolence, i n SUBVERTTNGATRE0: HECHATLENGEo George E. lrani & Nathan C. Funk, Rituals of

OF NONVIOLENCEN RELIGIOUS RADITIoNS67-69,83 (D. L. Reconciliation:Arob-lslamic P€rsp@tives, in PEACE

Smith-christopher,ed.,199a);M.K.Gandhi, r NON' ANDCoNFLICTFESoLUTIONINISLAMI32-43(A.A Saidet

vloLENcE lN PEACE NDwAR 49 t1948). al.' eds.' 2001 ).

I Se6 Marc Gopin, FHOM EDEN r. ARIIAGEDDON

1 99-203 (2000).

, Gopin,supra note 1, at 127,'178.

oSeyyed Hossein Nasr,Mo le andFemalo in

lslamic Perspeclive, in THE WAYS ot BELIGION 40

(Roger Eastman ed,,1999).

" Gavin Flood,ANINTRODUCTIONo HINDUISM40

(1996)tParekh,supro note 1o,at 170.

I' Genesis 9:1-7,1711-22; euteronomy 6:4-9,

33:4; Numbers t 2: -9 ; see also John Corrigan,et

al., EWS, HRISTIANS,USLIMS58"591998).

'" Dalai Lama and Cutler, supra note 2, at 311;

Hanh, supra note 2, at 155,161.

' Hanh,supra note 2,at 154,160; Dalai Lama and

Cutler, supra not e 2, at 89,96. " Flood,supra note l t ,a t 1 1-12,52-53.

," Bhikhu Parekh,Gandhi's euesl forNonviolent " Matthew 26.17-29i Mark 14:12-25; Luke

PolilicalPhitosophy,inCELEBBAT|NGPEACElT3(Leroy 22:7-23;Jor|n 13:21-31;Corinthians ll:23-34:see

s. Rouner od.'199o). corrigan,supra note 19'a1241-242'249'

t6 SPRING 2OO4

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