effectively communicating your research findings · publisher challenges reader expectations...
TRANSCRIPT
Effectively Communicating Your Research Findings
Amanda Hindle
Senior Editor
Edanz Group
22 March 2013
A little about me…
�What do editors look for?
�Reader expectations
�Structuring your ideas
�Writing simply
�Common language problems
�Editing your own manuscript
Session 1 …
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Preparing for
Submission
Journal editors and reviewers ask…
� Is the manuscript novel?
� Is the manuscript of interest to our readers?
Novelty
Significance
Target audience
Impact factor
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Preparing for
Submission What do journal editors want?
Interesting to journal’s
readership
Increase
impact
High quality
research
Original and
novel research Clear and concise
English
�Avoid rejection
�Minimize rounds of revision
�Communicate to the world
�Get cited
�Help establish a reputation
�Advance your career
Why is clear language important?
明快な言葉で、出版プロセスを促進
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Preparing for
Submission Language requirements
� Journals are clear regarding their English
requirements国際舞台で意見交換するに国際舞台で意見交換するに国際舞台で意見交換するに国際舞台で意見交換するにはははは明確明確明確明確な文書表現が重要な文書表現が重要な文書表現が重要な文書表現が重要
Brain Structure & Function
Language: Manuscripts will be checked by our
copyeditors for spelling and formal style. Clear
and concise language will help editors and
reviewers concentrate on the scientific content
of your paper and thus smooth the peer review
process.
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Preparing for
Submission
Japanese scientific writing style
�Passive voice
�Cause/reason comes first
�Followed by the conclusion
採用率を高める科学英語の書き方:日本人の論文に特徴的な問題点とは . 2011.
International Nursing Review, Supplement
151, 34(3), 94–102
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Preparing for
Submission
English scientific writing style
�Active voice
�Conclusion stated first
�Then reasoning or explanation
Reader Expectations
Section 1
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations Reader expectations
�Information is easier to
understand when placed
where most readers expect
to find it
�Good writers are aware of
these expectations
読者は情報が何処に書かれているかを読者は情報が何処に書かれているかを読者は情報が何処に書かれているかを読者は情報が何処に書かれているかを予測する予測する予測する予測する
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
Subject
1. Verb placement
�Readers expect verbs to closely follow subjects
SentenceSubject
Verb
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations Verb placement
� Readers become confused when subject and
verb are separated by too much content
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt)reading frame overlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminalportion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6gene, has been identified as the animal equivalent of therecently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
The smallest of the URF's is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase
the [NH2]-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene, has been
identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L) has been identified as the
animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase
subunit 8 gene; URFA6L is a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame
overlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminal portion of the
adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene.
We identified the smallest of the URF's (URFA6L) as the animal
equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8
gene. URFA6L is a … .
Avoid reader confusion
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations Which voice?
�Active or passive voice?
�Blood samples were collected from 256 patients.
�We collected blood from 256 patients.
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations 2. Active voice
�Sentences written in the active voice are:
simple
direct
clear
easy to read
Subject
Verb
Active
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
�Readers focus on information at the end of a
sentence.
take-home information
SubjectVerb
3. Stress position
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations Stress position
� Local food production is limited by land and water resources.
� Land and water scarcity limit local agricultural production.
� Increasing local production can help improve food security.
� Readers, without thinking, concentrate on the end
of a sentence.
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
Topic position
Stress position
SubjectVerb
�Readers expect a sentence/phrase to be a story
about whoever shows up first
4. Topic position
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations Topic position
�Linkage and context
The patient went to the hospital to see a
gastroenterologist. The doctor performed several
diagnostic tests. The results indicated the patient
suffered from a mild infection. The patient was then
prescribed a two-week course of antibiotics.
idea ideaideaidea
Topic link
sentence
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
� Indicates the main idea of a paragraph
� Provides the writer with a focus
� First sentence of a paragraph
� Then discuss/explain the topic
� Summarize with a concluding
sentence
Beginning →→→→ Middle →→→→ End
5. Topic sentences
Publisher
Challenges
Reader
Expectations
In his studies of the conditioned reflex, Pavlov worked
almost entirely with dogs and with the salivary reflex.
Implicit in all of his work is the notion that everything
the dog learns from puppyhood on is a result of the
association of certain events (which happen to occur at
the same time) with the biologically adequate stimulus
to some native response such as withdrawing,
struggling, eating, sex behavior, or the like. What the dog
can learn…Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology”
Example
Readability
Section 2
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearly
“only 4% of readers understand a 27-word
sentence the first time”
� Consider the reader
� Only need to read once
� Do not have to read slowly
� Can understand author logic immediately
Readability
Pinner and Pinner, Communication Skills (4th ed.) 1998
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearlyStructure of ideas
Logical
flow of
ideas
Start with a broad background
Specific
� Clear organization
� Helps you AND the reader
論理的論理的論理的論理的ににににアイデアをまとめるアイデアをまとめるアイデアをまとめるアイデアをまとめる
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearly
Cell 2012; 148: 780–91
Structure of ideas
Cancers are clonal cell lineages that arise due to somatic changes that promote cell proliferation and survival.
Although natural selection operating on cancers favors the outgrowth of malignant clones with replicative
immortality, the continued survival of a cancer is generally restricted by the life span of its host.
Tasmanian devil facial tumor disease (DFTD) is an unusual cancer that has survived beyond the death of the
individual that spawned it by acquiring adaptations for transmission between hosts. This cancer has spread
through the Tasmanian devil population and is threatening the species with extinction (Hawkins et al.,
2006,McCallum et al., 2009).
The genomes of the Tasmanian devil and its transmissible cancer, DFTD, are thus of interest both from the
perspective of conservation of a threatened species as well as for the insights they may provide into
the origins, somatic evolution and population genetics of an extraordinarily divergent neoplastic clonal
lineage.
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearly
Cell 2012; 148: 780–91
Structure of ideas
General background information on cancer
Related background to a specific host and a
particular cancer of concern for this animal
Narrowed the focus to genomes and how they
may influence the evolution of this disease
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearly
� One idea per paragraph
� Discuss ideas in the order presented consistently
“Therefore, our aims were to study (1) the kind of treatment the patients
had received 3 months after hospitalization for self-poisoning and
whether this varied according to the intention evaluated, (2) satisfaction
with care during the initial hospital stay and the follow-up period, (3) if
the patients had engaged in repeated acts of self-harm, (4) how the
patients perceived their need for professional help, and (5) their level of
depression, hopelessness, and generalized self-efficacy.”
Creating readability
ひとつの段落にひとつの段落にひとつの段落にひとつの段落には、は、は、は、 ひとつひとつひとつひとつのアイデアのアイデアのアイデアのアイデア
Publisher
Adaptations
Writing clearly
� Use support data or references for context
� Ensure transitions are smooth
�Logical progression
�Reference back to last topic
�What do these findings mean?
�Finish the story
�Tell readers why this research is important
Creating readability
Beginning →→→→ Middle →→→→ End
アイデアアイデアアイデアアイデアを補完するを補完するを補完するを補完する
Simple Language
Section 3
Simple language Make it easy for your reader
�Simple language is best
�Makes your work more relevant
�Maximizes understanding
�Science is complex
簡潔簡潔簡潔簡潔なななな表現は理解しやすい表現は理解しやすい表現は理解しやすい表現は理解しやすい
Simple languageSentence length
�We examined numerous peer-reviewed
journals
�Easy to read articles had an average
sentence length of 17 words
長文は理解し難い長文は理解し難い長文は理解し難い長文は理解し難い
Simple languageGoals to aim for …
�Maximum 25–30 words per sentence
�Not more than four 30-word sentences in the
whole manuscript
�Think about ‘reader expectation’ and match
the expectation with the contents
1文に文に文に文につきひとつのつきひとつのつきひとつのつきひとつのアイデアアイデアアイデアアイデア
Simple language
Preferred
more
enough
clear
try
show
try
very
Avoid
additional
adequate
apparent
attempt
demonstrate
endeavor
exceedingly
Simple words
Simple languageMore simple words
Preferred
Size
Aim
Done
Asked
Keep
Later
Enough
End
Use
Avoid
Magnitude
Objective
Performed
Requested
Retain
Subsequently
Sufficient
Terminate
Utilization
Simple languageUnnecessary words
In order to increase the length across which DNA messages can be
transmitted, we…
To increase the length across which DNA messages can be
transmitted, we…
Simple language
Avoid
For the reason that
In the first place
In the not too distant future
Four in number
Green color
Subsequent to
Prior to
Except in a very few instances
Preferred
Because
First
Soon
Four
Green
After
Before
Usually
Examples of unnecessary words
Common Mistakes
Section 4
Common mistakes
� Use past tense to describe your results
� Use present tense to discuss what is
already known
Past vs present tense
Our results showed that gene expression was inhibited
by TGFβ.
TGFβ is an important regulatory protein that controls
many key cellular functions.
Common mistakesComparisons
� Needed in Results and Discussion sections
� Compare ‘like’ with ‘like’
� Use ‘with’, not ‘to’
The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared to the liver.
The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with that
from the liver.
Common mistakesComparisons
Expression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with non-smokers.
Expression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with p53
levels in non-smokers
Expression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with those
in non-smokers
Common mistakes Avoiding ambiguity: comparisons
�Relative terms, such as more, higher and
greater, require a reference for comparison
�Use than or compared with
The rate of arachlor degradation was higher in inoculated soil.
Higher than what?
The rate of arachlor degradation was higher in inoculated soil than
in non-inoculated soil.
Common mistakes Avoiding ambiguity: word choice
�Use specific language
�Avoid generalizing or using vague
terminology
We analyzed the results using the usual rigorous criteria.
What criteria?
We analyzed the results using Student’s t-test.
Common mistakes
� Use between for comparisons of two groups
� Use among for comparisons of more than
two groups
‘Between’ or ‘among’?
… the only difference between the original molecule and the
new molecule is ...
… significant differences were observed in the H values
among bio-, fully- and semi-synthetic molecules
Common mistakes
�‘Respectively’ is often misused
� Used to refer to two corresponding lists
�The two values were 143.2 and 21.6, respectively.
�The two values were 143.2 and 21.6.
�The two tubes were labeled B and S, respectively.
�The tubes containing blood and saline were labeled
B and S, respectively.
Respectively
Common mistakes
Oxygen detector flow Nitrogen detector flow Hydrogen detector flow
85 mL/min 7 mL/min 4 mL/min
Respectively
The oxygen detector flow was set at 85 mL/min; the nitrogen
detector flow was set at 7 mL/min; and the hydrogen detector
flow was set at 4 mL/min.
Oxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen detector flows were set at 85, 7
and 4 mL/min, respectively. 15 words
28 words
Common mistakesColons and semi-colons
�Colons (:) are used to introduce a list
�Semicolons (;) are used to separate the items in a
list too long for commas
�Use ‘and’ before the last item in the list
There are a number of journals for surgery
manuscripts: General Surgery, published by Springer;
the World Journal of Emergency Surgery, published by
BioMed Central; and the British Journal of Surgery,
produced by Wiley & Sons.
Common mistakes
�Use a space between numbers and units
�10 mL not 10mL
�No space is needed before %
�56%
�The word “of” should be used to describe amounts
�6 mg of caffeine was …
�The word “of” is not needed for concentrations
�rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine
Numbers in the text
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
ResourcesThere is help for you
• Books
• Style manuals
• Writing course
• But … not always practical
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Resources
• Paradigm Online Writing Assistantpowa.org/
• Springer Exemplarspringerexemplar.com/
• Google Scholarscholar.google.com/
• Purdue Online Writing Labowl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
Helpful websites
Coverage and
Staffing Plan
Resources Springer Author Academy
Coverage and
Staffing PlanPublish Faster
Before you submit your manuscript, always go
back and see what can be improved
�Material organized according to journal
instructions?
�Ideas discussed in a logical order?
�Short sentences using the active voice?
�Unnecessary jargon removed?
�Consistent terminology?
�UK or US English?
Editing your own work
AppendixUseful set phrases
Abstract
� Here, we present…
�Here, we show…
�Here, we report…
�In this work, we introduce…
AppendixUseful set phrases
Abstract
� These results show…
� To test whether (past tense), we performed…
� To examine if (past tense) we (past tense)…
�We used XX to YY. Using this approach, we identified ZZ.
AppendixUseful set phrases
Introduction�We demonstrated previously…
�Previous studies have shown that…
�We have previously shown that…
�To determine whether…
�The purpose of this study was…
AppendixUseful set phrases
Introduction�Therefore, we tested the hypothesis…
�This report describes experiments designed to determine whether…
�Therefore, our first objective in these studies was to determine whether…
� In this study, we sought to extend our observations and specifically test…
AppendixUseful set phrases
Methods
�To test whether XX (past tense), we
performed…
�To examine if XX (past tense) we performed…
AppendixUseful set phrases
Results�Among the cases we analyzed…
�XX was/were observed…
�The results are summarized in Table 1.
�Figure 2a shows the effect of X on Y.
�Group X showed higher/lower levels of Y than the control group.
AppendixUseful set phrases
Discussion� In the current study we have shown…
� In summary…
� To conclude…
� In conclusion…
� In demonstrating XX, our findings show/suggest that…
� Taken together, these results suggest…
AppendixUseful set phrases
Discussion
� The above data collectively show…
� Our data supports the idea that XX
� Our study supports the hypothesis that ZZ
� Our study is limited by…
� There were some limitations to the current study.
AppendixNumbers in the text
Spell out the numbers one through nine and use numerals for 10 and greater, except:
� Units of measurement
2 mL, 4 min
� Beginning a sentence
Twelve patients were randomized…
� Reporting a series including numerals
We enrolled 5 patients with AD, 12 with PD, and 20 control subjects.
� Reporting numbers consecutively
…five 2-mL tubes
� Reporting a range including a number greater than nine
5-12 mL
Appendix Language: US vs UK spelling
Be consistent!
� Check the journal’s Instructions for Authors
� Generally, American journals require US spelling and British journals require British spelling, but many accept either form as long as the spelling used is consistent
Exceptions: Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare; your
references
Fibre Or Fiber
Centre Or Center
Labelling Or Labeling
Colour Or Color
Any questions?
Thank you!
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