effective writing (nco-snco public)-2016

The Intellectual and Leadership Center of the Air Force

Effective Writing

CMSgt Hamp Lee IIIChief Enlisted Manager

Air University Communications Directorate


Overview

Writing Fundamentals Correspondence E-Mail Awards (1206s) Decorations Performance Feedback EPRs


Your Signature – be particular about what you sign your name to; it represents who you are as a NCO and leader.

Writing Fundamentals

Telling a Story – make sure the story you describe is one you want told; be intentional about the “message” you send.

Writing a History – unofficial and official correspondence establishes your professional, organization, and AF history.

Creating a Legacy – what you write today will have an impact tomorrow…for your Airmen, unit, and AF.


Late Submissions and Errors – Messages sent with late reports and errors in reports: “We don’t care about our products or people.”



CORRESPONDENCE


Determining Purpose:

To Direct – pass information for others to carry out

To Inform – provide information and details where the audience gets the message

To Persuade – selling your audience on new ideas or a change in operations

To Inspire – motivate audience toward an idea, concept, or direction



Principles of Effective Communication:

Focused – clear idea of intended audience and objective

Organized – logical, systematic, useful, and relevant

Clear – rules of language and get to the point

Understanding – understands views and knowledge of topic

Supported – logic and support build credibility and trust



Correspondence

Common Writing Formats:

Official Memorandum – conduct official business

Personal Letter – communication with a personal touch, warmth, sincerity, or a personal matter (keep to one page)

Memorandum for Record – informal document to note certain actions (separate page MR and explanatory MR are most often used)


Correspondence

Instruments of Written Communication:

Bullet Background Paper – concise written statements on a single idea or present a collection of accomplishments with impacts

Electronic Staff Summary Sheet – used to route documents for signature, coordination, or information to command channels via OPR

Trip Report – temporary duty trip which describes purpose, travelers, itinerary, discussions, etc.


Correspondence

References for Correspondence Support:

AFH 33-337, The Tongue & Quill

AFPAM 36-2241, Professional Development Guide (chapter 14)

Air Force Writer – http://www.airforcewriter.com

Unit Templates and Samples

http://www.airforcewriter.com/


E-MAIL


1. Be clear and concise.Choose readable fonts styles and sizes.

2. Watch your tone.Don’t write in ALL CAPITALS—it’s the e-mail version of shouting

and it’s considered very rude.

Don’t send in haste: If you’re really mad about an issue, draft the e-mail, but don’t send it until you calm down and read it over and over and over....

Electronic Mail (E-mail)


3. Be selective about what messages you send. Controversial, sensitive, classified, personal, privacy act or documents requiring special handling. Remember OPSEC.

4. Be selective about who gets the message.Use “reply all” sparingly. Don’t promote or fire someone via e-mail (unless there is no other way to communicate).

5. Check your attachments and support material. Before sending, check your attachments.



6. Sign your e-mails appropriately.

//SIGNED//HAMP LEE III, CMSgt, USAFChief Enlisted ManagerCommunications DirectorateBase 3A1 Functional ManagerAir University, Maxwell AFB ALCOMM: 334-953-4012DSN: 493-4012

7. Use your subject line.Provide a brief (specific and concise) subject:

ACTION:, *HOT*, MEETING CANX:, etc.



8. Keep your e-mail under control.Read and delete e-mails daily.

Create distribution lists, auto replies, and forwarding to save time.



AWARDs


AF IMT 1206

Used “universally” for: Quarter Annual Other Miscellaneous Awards (most, but not all)

Check AFIs, OIs, supplements, and local requirements for award guidance

Remember: know your audience!

Award Writing


Award Writing

AF IMT 1206

Format: May be different than your “normal” EPR written format. You can use “creative writing” in 1206s, but know

audience and desired format. Place largest impact in first and last bullets of each

section. Wordiness and lead-ins can show there’s not much in the

bullet. Place bullets in correct categories.


DECORATIONS


Decoration Guidelines

1. Be selective in decoration submissions.Everyone should not be awarded a decoration because they

showed up to work. Ensure your most deserving are recognized for outstanding performance, service, and support to the mission.

2. Understand local guidance.Ensure you have local administrative guides for specific formats,

along with AFI references.

Decorations



3. Know when to write a push note and when not to.Some commands will not approve decorations when there are PT

failures, minor misconduct, etc. However, there may be unique circumstances when a decoration may be approved with a PUSH note. Grease skids with leadership first… Remember your signature…

4. Submit timely decorations.Some commands are “pin ‘em where you win ‘em.” Make sure

you can meet your command’s expectation.

Decorations



5. Read your decorations aloud.Decoration recipients should be proud to stand in front of his or

her peers. Make sure it ‘reads’ correctly.

Decorations


PERFORMANCEFEEDBACK


1. Define specific expectations.If your subordinates don’t understand what’s expected, how can

they perform to your expectations in accomplishing the mission?

2. Set challenging, yet achievable goals.Establish a “Point B.” Help your subordinates reach specific goals

for each quarter, year, and reporting period.

Stretch them professionally without breaking them.

Performance Feedback


3. Schedule feedback when required…and as needed.

When you see downward trends in your subordinates, don’t wait until their EPR is due to address, schedule formal (or informal) feedback to address issues or concerns right away.

4. Cover all aspects of professional and personal development.

Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions if they are necessary to uncover areas of concern.



4. Provide honest feedback.Withholding accurate feedback because you don’t want to hurt an

Airman’s feelings or having a fear of honesty, establishes a false understanding of standards, conduct, and performance.

5. Remember the type of feedback you always wanted and give the same to your subordinate.

Fundamental responsibility of a leader is to take care of his or her people.

Every Airman deserves your best effort. Help them succeed by mapping paths of success.



EPRs


Your Signature – whether writing or receiving performance reports, each one represents you.

Consider This…

Telling a Story – make sure the story you describe in your reports is one you want told; be intentional about the “message” you share about yourself and your subordinates.

Establishing your history – what you write today will have an impact many, many years later.


Airmen do things Conducted, assisted, supported, volunteered

NCOs supervise/lead Airmen doing thingsLed, authored, designed, created, devised

SNCOs manage/lead/oversee Airmen doing things…building and developing teamsManaged, led, directed, coordinated, empowered

EPR Mechanics

REVIEW AFI 36-2618, The Enlisted Force Structure for duties/responsibilities for current rank and one rank above.


;--/‘

Transition between action; result Good space saver

Transition to impact portion of bullet

Use instead of conjunctions/prepositions Avoid using between result/impact Good space saver

Use to abbreviate; “coordinat’d, track’d, nation’l” Use sparingly on EPRs

EPR Mechanics


… Good space saver Indicates omission of a word Not recommended on EPR/OPRs, but use sparingly on

1206s (e.g. Completed task in 48 hrs to Completed task…48 hrs)

EPR Mechanics


Strong duty performance – leading, problem solving, creating new processes. (Leaving your office better than you found it and helping everyone.)

Elements of an EPR

Elements of education – be a career-long learner. You don’t have to complete an entire degree in one year…be slow, steady, and intentional.

Unit, base, and community impact – show how you lead in your unit, across the base, and in your community.


Awards – work with your supervisor/subordinate (in advance) about varying levels of award submissions (i.e. unit, wing, NAF, MAJCOM, functional, etc.).

Elements of an EPR

Breath of knowledge and experience – each performance report should show breath of knowledge and experience...special duties, rotating duty sections, tough and challenging positions, and PCSing.

Great performance feedback – work with supervisors/ subordinates to outline and align goals for the reporting period.


Parts of an EPR

action impact result

- Procured 13 tactical response vehicles worth $200K; 45% of fleet new/modernized--galvanized base defenses


Parts of an EPR

what how result

- Oversaw base CATM program; trnd 3.6K wpn trainees/ qualified 1.4K deployers--100% base UTCs fulfilled


Parts of an EPR

what resultlead-in

- Alternative unit fitness pgm manager; drafted two new Sq policy letters/aided primary--kept Sq fit to fight


Parts of an EPR

what /

lead-in

result

- Cultivated Airmen award wins; 65x BTZ stripes, 2x NCOA DG, quarterly: 7x group, 4x wg; annual: 8x group, 4x wg


EPR Writing

1. Source information: duty description and AFI 36-2618, Enlisted Force Structure.

Write a duty description that encompasses the entire scope of your area of responsibility. Ensure your report aligns with AFI 36-2816.

2. Bullet statement format.Concise: What was done and for whom?

Accurate: Reflect accurate results/impact

Brief: You have one line to work with

Specific: Do not use general or bland statements


EPR Writing

3. Be consistent in spelling (i.e. CMSgt, Chief).If you use a specific spelling or abbreviation for one word, try to use

the same standard throughout the report for the same word.

4. Consider word choice.Saying a master sergeant delivered 10K puppies is a lot different

that a master sergeant oversaw 10K puppies delivered.

5. Don’t vomit all over your EPR.You don’t have to try to squeeze everything you’ve done for the

year. Be intentional and purposeful. Consider Twitter…


EPR Writing

6. Use lead-ins and exclamation points sparingly.Lead-ins can be used as space fillers…remember the story you

want to tell in the report.

7. Minimize abbreviations.Abbreviating many words allows you to “fit” more information in a

bullet, but can also make it harder to read/understand when meeting award and promotion boards.

8. Avoid fluff.“Fluffy” bullets may convey that you don’t have anything better to

say about yourself or your performance (space filler).


EPR Writing

9. Watch for white space…unless done on purpose.White space and providing minimum bullets can send a message

about performance (or lack thereof).

10. Consider bullet placement.Strongest bullets for the reporting period should be with the

additional rater and final evaluator. Bullets placed in incorrect areas also tell a “story.”

11. Support your claims when asked.Be ready to ‘prove’ bullet statements…saving $6.8M annually may

come with a question.


EPR Writing

12. Be honest.Lying on an EPR reveals your level of character and integrity (or

lack thereof).

13. What is/isn’t your report saying?Ensure the performance report has the meaning you intend.

14. Your EPR is ONE.Your EPR is a single document that should provide an intentional

story of your reporting period, not a collection of bullets you threw together.


Building an EPR(AF Form 910)


Section II: Job Description–Write a duty description that encompasses the entire scope of your key duties, tasks, and responsibilities. This is your foundation.

EPR Building

Line 1–list the scope and area of responsibilities and/or unit specifics – build a word picture (e.g. Training NCOIC for the Air Force’s largest maintenance squadron supporting 15K personnel across three continents)

Line 2–describe the direct office responsibilities you have (e.g. supervisory and direct requirements from your supervisor) – office

Line 3–list what you provide to your unit and/or base – unit/base

Line 4–list what you provide to your base and/or external agencies (e.g. reports, coordination, etc.) – base/external agencies


Section III: Performance in Leadership/ Primary Duties/ Followership/ Training (AFI 36-2618)

Task Knowledge/Proficiency–Consider the quality, results, and impact of the Airman’s knowledge and ability to accomplish tasks.

Initiative/Motivation–Describes the degree of willingness to execute duties, motivate colleagues, and develop innovative new processes.

Skill Level Upgrade Training–Consider skill level awarding course, CDC timeliness completion, course exam results, and completion of core task training.

Duty Position Requirements, Qualifications, and Certifications–Consider duty position qualifications, career field certifications (if applicable), and readiness requirements.

EPR Building



Training of Others–Consider the impact the Airman made training others.

EPR Building


Section III Bullet Placement:

Line 1–strong bullet that captures an overview of your reporting period and connects with the duty description.

Lines 2-5–strong bullets that intentionally captures the appropriate word picture of performance for the reporting period (i.e. breath and depth of experience, AFI 36-2618, duty description).

Line 6–strong bullet that captures a different perspective of your duty performance.

EPR Building


Section IV: Followership/Leadership

Resource Utilization (e.g. Time Management, Equipment, Manpower, and Budget)–Consider how effectively the Airman utilizes resources to accomplish the mission.

Complies with/Enforces Standards–Consider personal adherence and enforcement of fitness standards, dress and personal appearance, customs and courtesies, and professional conduct.

Communication Skills–Describes how well the Airman receives and relays information, thoughts, and ideas up and down the chain of command (includes listening, reading, speaking, and writing skills); fosters an environment for open dialogue.

EPR Building


Section IV: Followership/Leadership

Caring, Respectful, and Dignified Environment (Teamwork)–Rate how well the Airman selflessly considers others, values diversity, and sets the stage for an environment of dignity and respect; to include promoting a healthy organizational climate.

EPR Building


Section IV Bullet Placement:

Line 1–varied but complementary bullet that captures a unique perspective of the followership/leadership.

Line 2–strong bullet that encompasses followership/leadership.

EPR Building


Section V Whole Airman Concept:

Air Force Core Values–Consider how well the Airman adopts, internalizes, and demonstrates our Air Force Core Values of Integrity First, Service Before Self, and Excellence in All We Do.

Personal and Professional Development–Consider the amount of effort the Airman devoted to improving themselves and their work center/unit through education and involvement.

Esprit de corps and Community Relations–Consider how well the Airman promotes camaraderie, embraces esprit de corps, and acts as an Air Force ambassador.

EPR Building


Section V Bullet Placement:

EPR Building

Line 1–varied but complementary bullet that captures a unique perspective of the whole Airman concept.

Line 2–strong bullet that encompasses the whole Airman concept. This is often the last item that will be viewed on the front page.


Additional Rater, Unit Commander, and Future Roles

**Your strongest accomplishments for the reporting period should be in these sections.

Section VIII, #1, Line 1–second or third strongest bullet for the entire reporting period.

Section VIII, #1, Line 2–first or second strongest bullet describing duty performance, leadership, mentoring and/or an award.

Section IX, #1, Line 1–use your top performance bullet for the year, a strong descriptive or duty bullet, and/or an award.

NEVER LEAVE A LINE BLANK!!!!

EPR Building


Building an EPR(AF Form 911)



Mission Accomplishment–Consider the Airman’s ability to lead and produce time, high quality/quantity, mission-oriented results.

Resource Utilization–(e.g. time, management, equipment, manpower, and budget): Consider how effectively the Airman leads their team to utilize their resources to accomplish the mission.

Team Building–Consider the amount of innovation, initiative, and motivation displayed by the Airman and their subordinates (collaboration).

Mentoring–Consider how well the Airman knows their subordinates, accepts personal responsibility for them, and is accountable for their professional development.

EPR Building



Communication Skills–Describe how well the Airman communicates (includes listening, reading, reading, speaking, and writing skills) in various mediums, translates superior’s direction into specific tasks and responsibilities, fosters an environment for open dialogue, and enhances communication skills of subordinates.

Complies with/Enforce Standards–Consider personal adherence and how the Airman fosters an environment where everyone enforces fitness standards, dress and personal appearance, customs and courtesies, and professional conduct.

EPR Building



Duty Environments–Rate how well the Airman establishes and maintains caring, respectful, and dignified environments while valuing diversity; to include promoting a healthy organizational climate.

Training–Describes how well the Airman and their team complies with upgrade, duty position, and certification requirements.

EPR Building


Section III Bullet Placement:

Section III, #1, Line 1–strong bullet that captures an overview of your reporting period and connects with the duty description.

Section III, #1, Lines 2-7–strong bullets that intentionally captures the appropriate word picture of performance for the reporting period (i.e. breath and depth of experience, AFI 36-2618, duty description).

Section III, #1, Line 8–strong bullet that captures a different perspective of your duty performance.

EPR Building


Section IV: Whole Airman Concept

Air Force Core Values–Consider how well the Airman adopts, internalizes, demonstrates, and insists on adherence of our Air Force Core Values of Integrity First, Service Before Self, and Excellence in All We Do.

Personal and Professional Development–Consider effort the Airman devoted to improve their subordinates, their work center/unit and themselves.

Esprit de corps and Community Relations–Consider how well the Airman promotes camaraderie, enhances esprit de corps, and develops Air Force ambassadors.

EPR Building


Section IV Bullet Placement:

Section IV, #1, Line 1–varied but complementary bullet that captures a unique perspective of the whole Airman concept.

Section IV, #1, Line 2–strong bullet that encompasses the whole Airman concept. This is often the last item that will be viewed on the front page.

EPR Building


Unit Commander, Additional Rater, Final Evaluator, and Future Roles

Strongest Accomplishments–your strongest accomplishments for the reporting period should be in these sections.

Section VII, #1, Line 1–second or third strongest bullet for the entire reporting period.

Section VII, #1, Line 2–use line to provide description of strong duty performance, leadership, mentoring…

Section VIII, #1, Line 1–strong bullet that captures your performance in the unit, stratification, or a descriptive bullet

EPR Building


Bullet Placement:

Section VIII, Future Roles–should match your performance for the reporting period…

Section XI, #1, Line 1–use a descriptive bullet or your top performance bullet for the year.

NEVER LEAVE A LINE BLANK!!!!

EPR Building


Bullet Examples


Sample 1:

Team player exhibiting a ‘can-do’ attitude! Squadron selected as the Wing’s “Unit of the Year” winner for 2011

Good or Bad?

Bullet Examples


Sample 1:

Team player exhibiting a ‘can-do’ attitude! Squadron selected as the Wing’s “Unit of the Year” winner for 2011

BAD!!!- After the word “attitude” this entire bullet ceases to be

about the individual.- What exactly does a ‘can-do’ attitude look like?- How did this individual help clinch the Wing’s “Unit of the

Year” award for 2011?

Bullet Examples


Sample 2:

Most respected Airman in the squadron; elected by peers to perform duties of “Squadron” Association Treasurer

Good or Bad?

Bullet Examples


Sample 2:

Most respected Airman in the squadron; elected by peers to perform duties of “Squadron” Association Treasurer

BAD!!!- How is being elected to be the unit treasurer associate with being

the most respected Airman?- Where is the impact of the Airman’s election?

Bullet Examples


Sample 3:

#1 of 45 ops airmen; instrumental in Installation Security Plan revision--prepared base for contingency ops

Good or Bad?

Bullet Examples


Sample 3:

#1 of 45 ops airmen; instrumental in Installation Security Plan revision--prepared base for contingency ops

Better, but not quite…- Why was this person instrumental?- Was the installation unprepared before this Airman came to the

base?- Can you stratify Airmen?

Bullet Examples


Sample 4:

Scheduled 290 physicals; managed 15% troop increase--kept Wing’s medical readiness rate 4% above AF avg

Good or Bad?

Bullet Examples


Sample 4:

Scheduled 290 physicals; managed 15% troop increase--kept Wing’s medical readiness rate 4% above AF avg

Good bullet…- This bullet told us what was done, for whom, and the resulting

impact

Bullet Examples


Sample 5:

AT Flight goes TDY each year and creates 1,000 widgets which takes 500 man-hours. A1C Snuffy created a process that cut production in half.

What information should we gather?

Bullet Examples


Hourly wage breakout for AT Flight:

O-2: $11.46 (2 years) E-7: $12.63 (over 16 years) E-6: $9.71 (over 8 years) E-5: $8.32 (over 6 years) E-4: $6.66 (over 3 years) E-3: $5.16 (over 2 years)

Bullet Examples


Team hourly wage breakout:

O-2: $11.46 E-7: $12.63 E-6: $9.71 x 2 E-5: $8.32 x 2 E-4: $6.66 x 4 E-3: $5.16 x 4

Total Team Hourly Wage: $107.43 (minus per diem)

Bullet Examples


Total team hourly wage is $107.43

Widget ProcessNormally takes 500 hours yearly ($53,715 in manpower cost)

A1C Snuffy’s innovation cut production to 250 hours ($26857.50 in manpower savings cost).

Numbers vs. Percentages:Evaluate which is stronger:

Saved $26K yearly vs. cut processing 50% vs. saved 250 man hrs

Bullet Examples


Sample 5 bullet examples:

- Authored new widget creation process; constructed auto-oiling function--cut production time 50%/saved AF $26K/yr

- Built 1st ever widget auto-oiling function; process cut production 50%/saved AF $26K/yr--shared across units AF-wide

- Innovator! Developed new widget creation process; created auto-oiling function--saved AF 250 man-hrs and $26K/yr

- Developed new widget creation process; crushed production metric by 50%--saved AF 250 man-hours and $26K/year

Bullet Examples


EPR Writing Tools

Additional Tools for Success:

1. AF Directives and Instructions

2. Senior Leadership and peers

3. Local base level guidance/directives

4. Internet – AF Mentor, Writer, and AF EPR Bullets

5. Thesaurus

6. Word lists


Questions?

effective writing (nco-snco public)-2016

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