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EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

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Page 1: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN

(AGES 2 – 5)

Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

Page 2: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

OBJECTIVES

Gain understanding of:

• Stages of Development

• How Children Think and Feel

Learn Effective Discipline Methods:

• Discipline Talk

• Shaping Behaviors

• Coordinating with Parents

Understand When to Seek Help

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 2

Page 3: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

INTRODUCTION

• A young child’s job is to explore their

environment and test limits – this is how they

learn

• The caregiver’s job is to allow exploration while

at the same time setting firm limits

• Understanding how children develop can help in

this process

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 3

Page 4: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT: 2–3 YEAR OLDS

• Mastering body movements

• Growing vocabulary (about 50 new words each month)

• Developing independence (Love to say “No!” and “Mine!”)

• Separation issues

• Playing with peers

• No concept of time

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 4

Page 5: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

DEVELOPMENT STAGES FOR CHILDREN 4-5

• Continued development in large & small motor skills &

eye/hand coordination

• Vocabulary grows from about 1500 words at age 4 to

about 2000 words by age 5

• More confident & independent

• Playing in groups & developing special friends

• Vivid imagination

• Little concept of time

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 5

Page 6: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

UNDERSTANDING HOW CHILDREN THINK

• Children do not think like adults

• Children’s annoying behavior is fun for them &

developmentally appropriate

• Children become very engrossed in their activity

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 6

Page 7: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

HOW CHILDREN THINK

• Like adults, children

have moods

• Rarely think before

acting

• Thinking is concrete

• Learn through repetition

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 7

CONTINUED

Page 8: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

CHILDREN & THEIR FEELINGS

• Feelings & communication

• Helping children identify

feelings

• Validating children’s

feelings

• Teaching appropriate

expression of feelings

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 8

Page 9: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

CHILDREN & THEIR FEELINGS

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 9

Page 10: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS FOR CHILDREN AFFECTED BY DEPLOYMENT

• Effects of a parent’s

deployment

• Acting out

• Creative approaches

to express emotions

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 10

Page 11: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

DISCIPLINE TALK

• Connect before you direct

• Address the child by name

• Keep discipline brief & simple

• Ask the child to repeat your request

• Make an offer they can’t refuse

• Try “Stop” instead of “No”

• Begin directives with “I want”

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 11

Page 12: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

DISCIPLINE TALK

• Give choices

• Model appropriate language

and behavior

• Calm the listener down

• Use rhyme rules

• Use “I” statements

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 12

Page 13: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

DISCIPLINE METHODS

The most effective methods of classroom

discipline are:

• Ignoring the behavior

• Redirecting the child

• Natural and Logical Consequences

• Positive attention

• “Thinking time”

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 13

Page 14: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

IGNORING THE BEHAVIOR

Used to stop harmless, unacceptable behavior

• Move away from the child

• Turn your back

• Avoid eye contact

• Stop any conversation with the child

• Ignore any protests or excuses

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 14

Page 15: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

REDIRECTING OR DIRECTING

• Helpful when the child wants something they can’t have

or is doing something they shouldn’t be doing.

• Example: The child is grabbing at another child’s toy.

• Method: Offer the child another toy or distract them with

another activity.

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 15

Page 16: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

NATURAL & LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES

• Experiencing the consequences of their choices teaches self-discipline

• Natural consequences (child unable to play with toy they broke)

• Logical consequences (parent requires child to clean up the mess he/she made)

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 16

Page 17: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

POSITIVE ATTENTION

The positive interactions &

feedback children receive

when they are not

misbehaving:

• Give physical attention

• Be specific

• Give immediate feedback

• Plan parent-child activities

• Catch children being good

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 17

Page 18: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

“THINKING TIME”

• Take the child to a “thinking time” area and sit

with them as you review their poor choice and

discuss better choices

• Appropriate for children 2 to 10 years

• Should be used to shape behavior, not as a

punishment

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 18

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AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS IN THE CLASSROOM

Example: child hits another child to get a toy

• Suggest an alternative approach If the child hits again,

say “Stop! I can’t let you hit. It hurts people.”

• Take the child to a “thinking time” area

• Help the victim say to the child “I don’t like it when you

hit.”

• Ask the aggressive child to say, “I’m sorry and I won’t hit

you again.”

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 19

Page 20: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

WORKING WITH PARENTS

• Home discipline

• Classroom discipline

• Share discipline issues

• Work with the parents

• Report positive behavior

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 20

Page 21: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

WORKING WITH PARENTS

Remember

• The caregiver’s responsibility is to focus on

the behavior, and let the parents know what

they observe

• It is up to the parent to decide when and if to

seek additional help for their child

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 21

Page 22: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

• Be kind to yourself

• Pamper yourself whenever you can

• Give yourself credit for the good

job you have done

• Seek support from other parents

and peers

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 22

Page 23: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

WHEN TO SEEK HELP

• The child’s misbehavior is dangerous

• The misbehavior does not improve after

implementing discipline methods

• The child seems sad and withdrawn

• The child seems angry most of the time

• Other children do not want to play with the child

• Always seek help if you think you are at risk for

hurting a child

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 23

Page 24: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

CONCLUSION

• Family rules and limits provide children with a sense of

stability

• Effective discipline teaches self-control

• Experiencing the natural and logical consequences of

their choices teaches children self-discipline

• Effective discipline requires good communication

• Seeking help is a sign of strength

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 24

Page 25: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

QUESTIONS?

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RESOURCES

• Military Community Services

• Chaplain and Local Clergy

• Military OneSource (800) 342-9647

• TRICARE www.Tricare.mil

• Behavioral Health Services

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 26

Page 27: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

REFERENCES

• www.militarychild.org

• www.familyeducation.com

• www.parenting-ed.org

• www.askdrsears.com

© Copyright Department of Defense 2014. All rights reserved. 27

Page 28: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 · EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN (AGES 2 – 5) Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

THANK YOU