editing sentences

Editing Sentences

This week’s rule 11/4/2013Rule: Colons can be used to introduce lists; however, there are only certain times when this can happen. There must be a complete sentence before the list. If it is not a complete sentence before the list you cannot use a colon.

Examples:1. The class had many great students: Sofia, Halle,

and Suliana.2. Some great students in the class were Sofia,

Halle, and Suliana.

Fix the following sentences. There are several errors. The first time you fix them as best you can, and then we’ll fix them as a class. Make sure that they are perfect.

1. the potion contained the following cheese snails and boiled earwigs

2. Although I have love reading, i dont like reading twilight.

Now, make certain that your sentence is corrected.

1. The potion contained the following: cheese, snails, and boiled earwigs.

2. Although I love reading, I don’t like reading Twilight.

Combining Sentences 11/05Combine all of the following into one sentence. Try using this week’s rule. Try not to leave out any important information.

1. We bought cake. We bought candles. We bought hats for the party.

2. A successful student will do many things. They will study. They will be prepared. They will ask questions.

Sentence Corrections

1. I have found that most people is afraid of several things hieghts spiders and squirrels named jim.

2. Although Cody likes huntin he didnt cetch much.

Sentence Combining 11/7

1. Painters often use many tools. They use brushes. They also use pigments. They use solvents.

2. Mateo said it takes several things to make a good hacky sack player. It takes focus. It takes practice. It also takes the right shoes.

RuleOne can use a colon to signal a second complete sentence that explains a closely related preceding sentence.

The professor’s advice was straight to the point: He won't tolerate students who can't get to class on time.

Religion and politics can be touchy subjects: Many people hold opinionated views and are easily offended by other people's remarks.

Corrections 11/11

1. Their are only three vegitables that i hate turnips tomatoes and eggs.

2. Martin believed firmly in one thing The purpose of his minde was to dominate the lesser biengs on this panet.

Corrections 11/11

1. There are only three vegetables that I hate: turnips, tomatoes, and eggs.

2. Martin believed firmly in one thing: The purpose of his mind was to dominate the lesser beings on this planet.


1. Adlyn and Keaton are big fans of juggling chainsaws. Adlyn and Keaton are clumsy.

2. Brian wanders around all the time. The teachers get upset with Brian.

Try using the subordinating conjunctions

Sentence Corrections 11/13

1. Weather you want one or not. You are going to need the supplies a hammer, nails, and a stake.

2. If there not out here look in their.


1. Whether you want one or not, you are going to need the supplies: a hammer, some nails, and a stake.

2. If they’re not out here, look in there.


1. I was in the neighborhood. I stopped in to see you. I wanted to see your new pet.

2. Brady believed one thing. The thing he believed was profound. He believed all raisins started as grapes.

1. Silently they sat as their english teacher who was an angry old man read there essays.

2. Angry and frustrated she starred at her grade on the assinment


1. Silently, they sat as their English teacher, who was an angry old man, read their essays.

2. Angry and frustrated, she stared at her grade on the assignment.

Combining

1. The gelatin is red. The gelatin wiggles. It is in a large bowl.

2. I worked late. Then I walked home. Home is sixteen blocks from work.


1. As aaron was taken to the principles office we could here him yelling im a bee, im a bee.

2. Since the students had done so well on the test the teacher who was generally amiable gave them the day of, the students were happy.


1. As Aaron was taken to the principal’s office, we could hear him yelling, “I’m a bee! I’m a bee!”

2. Since the students had done so well on the test, the teacher, who was generally amiable, gave them the day off. The students were happy.


1. The tree fell on my car. The tree was a sycamore. My dog was in my car. My dog was not hurt.

2. My grandma plays guitar. She plays classical music. She also loves to play Metallica.

New RuleSemi colons can be used to join two separate independent clauses if the two are closely related to each other. Note the capitalization.

This is a semicolon ;Examples

Experts believe “[a] banana tree isn't a tree at all; it's the world's largest herb” (Koeppel)."Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."(Mark Twain)


Symbols is something concrete that represents something abstract, and they can be very important, so i advice you to learn how it works.

After Skyler scored the point the team which was in a slump managed to win the game.


A symbol is something concrete that represents something abstract. They can be very important, so I advise you to learn how they work.

After Skyler scored the point, the team, which was in a slump, managed to win the game.

Sentence Combinations 12/03

Sentence combining is useful. It produces variety. It adds maturity. It also gives emphasis where needed.

Christopher Columbus noted the unusual quantity of floating seaweed. He crossed the Sargasso Sea.


1. Bertha my best friend asked when do we get our uniforms?

2. Im not sure remarked Billy the most knowledgeable in the group when we will get em we were very eager.


1. Bertha, my best friend, asked, “When do we get our uniforms?”

2. “I’m not sure,” remarked Billy, the most knowledgeable in the group, “when we will get ‘em; we were very eager.”


My dog has four legs. He lost one in an accident.

The Sargasso Sea is a strange, still area. It is part of the Atlantic Ocean.

New RuleWe have learned about commas being used to “set off” appositive phrases and clauses. Now we are going to focus on interrupters.

Interrupters are little thoughts in the middle of a clause added to show emotion, tone, or emphasis. These should be emphasized with commas or the flow of the sentence may be awkward for the reader. Interrupters are easily identified by saying the sentence out loud.

Example:Now, where do you suppose, Davey, your shoes might have gone this time?


Exercize in fact stimulates the release of endorphins, that can make people fill good but many still prefer being couch potatoes.

In anshunt Incan society a couple was considered marryed when they took off there shoes, and handed them to each other.

Corrected

Exercise, in fact, stimulates the release of endorphins that can make people feel good, but many people still prefer being couch potatoes.

In ancient Incan society, a couple was considered married when they took off their shoes and handed them to each other.

Sentence Combining

I want to see you combine this two different ways.

Principal Crowther likes to dance. She is new to our school. She also likes to read. She likes to paint as well.


Elizabeth Blackwell who was a determined courageous beleiver in women’s rights overcame alot of obstacals to become the first woman doctor in America.

Incidentally two of comedian, Charlie Chaplin’s, finest funniest movies are City Lights (1931) and The Gold Rush (1925).

Corrected

Elizabeth Blackwell, who was a determined, courageous believer in women’s rights, overcame a lot of obstacles to become the first woman doctor in America.

Incidentally, two of comedian Charlie Chaplin’s finest, funniest movies are City Lights (1931) and The Gold Rush (1925).


1. The dog drank lemonade. The dog was thirsty. The dog’s name is crunchy.

2. The weather was perfect. The girls were playing soccer. The girls were teenagers.

New RuleIt’s actually a rule that you should already know.

If it lacks a subject or a predicate, it cannot be a sentence because it is, in fact, a phrase. Therefore, it must be attached to a complete sentence. A complete sentence has a subject a predicate and a complete thought. Make sure that you are punctuating correctly.

Plunged into a stone, a great sword could be removed only by the person who was meant to be king.

Corrections 12/16

1. Part myth, part history. The story of King Arthur is based on a Celtic legend stated the teacher knowingly.

2. She continued in all the tales about Arthur. The historical elements are difficult to authenticate.

Corrections 12/16

1. “Part myth, part history, the story of King Arthur is based on a Celtic legend,” stated the teacher knowingly.

2. She continued, “In all the tales about Arthur, the historical elements are difficult to authenticate.”

Sentence Combining

1. The howling of the wolves was heard. The howling was heard along the river bank.

2. Brittany painted a huge, colorful sigh. Brittany painted the sign above the door of her house.

Corrections 12/18

1. Actually many strong nights attempted to remove the sword to prove their worthiness to be king all failed.

2. Arthur if you must know pulled the sword from the stone, he had been sent back to retrieve a sword for Sir Kay.

Corrections 12/18

1. Actually, many strong knights attempted to remove the sword to prove their worthiness to be king. All failed.

2. Arthur, if you must know, pulled the sword from the stone. He had been sent back to retrieve a sword for Sir Kay.

Sentence Combining

1. Tiger Woods is one of the most outstanding golfers in the history of the sport. He attended Stanford University.

2. Ichabod Crane sang hymns as he rode home late at night. He was trying to appear nonchalant.

Review RulesColons (:) can be used to introduce a list as long as it is a complete sentence that precedes that list.

I have the following items in my trunk: jumper cables, a Neil Diamond cd, and four teeth.

Semi colons (;) can be used to separate sentences, and show that those sentences have a relationship to one another.

Your dad’s moustache is glorious; it must have taken years to grow it.

Sentence Corrections

1. If you want to defeat mr. james in debate you will need the following items a jar of slugs 2 armpit hairs and a feather toothbrush.

2. Chris spends most of his day sculpting his hair playing basketball and studying diligently.

Sentence Corrections 01/06/14

1. If you want to defeat Mr. James in debate, you will need the following items: a jar of slugs, two armpit hairs, and a feather toothbrush.

2. Chris spends most of his day sculpting his hair, playing basketball, and studying diligently.


1. Josh wanted to travel around the world. He wanted to study different cultures. He wanted to become a cosmopolite.

2. Jimmy wanted to become a monk. Jimmy wanted to become a professor. Jimmy was a bright young man.


1. Lois Lowry the author of numerous books including the giver believes that we are all fascinated with dreams that is why they are such a prevalent part of her books.

2. Lois Lowry has written the following books and more the messenger the giver gossamer and son


1. Lois Lowry, the author of numerous books, including The Giver, believes that we are all fascinated with dreams; that is why they are such a prevalent part of her books.

2. Lois Lowry has written the following books and more: The Messenger, The Giver, Gossamer, and Son.


1. Eddie was reluctant to participate. He was sure that he could win. He had lost so many times. He was quiet.

2. Marlon danced in the aisles. He sang in the halls. He thought about why he was here. He skipped through the class.

editing sentences

Documents

complete sentence

sentence correctionsi

preceding sentence

following sentences

following cheese snails

great students

boiled earwigs

sentencesthis weeks