edited by ian rees believers marrying unbelievers · believers and unbelievers separate adam and...

Believers marryingunbelievers‘From the beginning . . .’When God made man in the beginning He gave him a task inparadise which involved meeting all the other creatures He hadmade. God brought them to Adam to see what he would callthem and Adam took therole of the steward of God’screation and named themall. Yet in meeting all thesecreatures, Adam came torealize how ‘alone’ he was; itwas evident that no creaturewas equal to him. So God‘made an help meet for him’,Gen. 3. 19. God createdanother human being, out ofthe body of the man andmade equal to him. This newcreature was a woman, forGod saw that it was notgood for man to be alone.And it was God who broughtthem together, performed the first marriage ceremony, and gavethem His blessing on their sexual union. The New Testamentsums all this up when the Holy Spirit, through Paul, says,‘Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled’, Heb. 13. 4.

Believers and unbelievers separateAdam and Eve were expelled from the garden after theirdisobedience to God, Gen. 3. 1-13, 22-24. Their disobediencebrought a variety of judgements upon the serpent, the earthitself, and upon themselves as individuals. Their sin broughtdeath into the world, but it also gave them sinful natures whichthey passed on to the rest of mankind. Though Adam and Eve

EDITED BY IAN REES

Believers marryingunbelievers

My Top Ten BooksPage 6

Fools in Fellowship:The Whisperers

Page 8

YPS(Young Precious Seed)i s a supplement ofPrecious Seed designedfor those young in faith.Its purpose is to restatetimeless truths fromthe word of God for anew generation ofChristians and to kindlea biblical approach tocurrent issues in theworld in which we live.

YPS is published by Precious Seed,P.O. Box 573, Fareham, UK, PO149FB, and is also available separately

from the magazine.

© PRECIOUS SEED MAGAZINE

Volume 5 Number 3

Young Precious Seed 3-2008:Young Precious Seed 1-2007 5 7/10/08 4:29 PM Page 1

were made in the image of God,Adam’s son was begotten in hisfather’s image, which was a sinful,fallen image, Gen. 5. 1-3. Soon thatsinful image, likeness and naturewould show itself in rebellion againstGod. Cain was envious of his brother,hated him and killed him. Cainbecame a refugee, living away fromthe presence of God and from theinfluence of his God-fearing parents,Gen. 4. 9-16. He brought up a familythat neither knew God, nor loved norworshipped Him. Human-kinddivided itself into those that believedGod and obeyed Him, and those whodid not believe in Him or rebelledagainst Him. Some commentatorsthink that the ‘sons of God’mentioned in Genesis 6 werebelievers and the ‘daughters of men’who married them were unbelievers.Others think the passage refers tofallen angels who married women. If

the interpretationis the first one, i.e.that the passagerefers to believersm a r r y i n gunbelievers, wesee in these earlychapters of theBible that such ap r a c t i c e w a sfrowned upon.

God eventuallydestroyed most ofthese people in thegreat flood, savingonly Noah andseven members ofhis family. Yet fromthose eight whowere saved camethe same great

division, between those who lovedGod and those who did not. The sinfulnature of mankind again rebelledagainst God, until God scatteredthem over the face of the earth,confusing their languages, Gen. 11.From the vast majority of those who‘worshipped the creature instead ofthe creator’ we read of a minoritywho feared God. Job was one such, aswas Melchizedek and Abraham andhis family, whom God called out ofheathendom and promised to makeinto a great nation. Abraham left Urand went to live a nomadic life farfrom the pagan society round abouthim, Gen. 12. This nomadic lifestyledid not please Lot, Abraham’snephew. Given the choice, he took hisfamily into Sodom where hisdaughters married pagan men whodid not worship God. Such was theirdisrespect for God and His ways that,when Lot came to warn his daughtersof God’s imminent judgement uponthe city, his daughters died in God’sjudgement because their husbandsthought their father-in-law was mad,Gen. 19. 14.

Abraham and Isaac set anexampleNo doubt Abraham saw whathappened to his relations, Lot’sdaughters, in Sodom. When, manyyears later, it was time for his son,Isaac, to marry, Abraham wasdetermined his boy would notmarry an unbeliever. He made hisservant vow he would not ‘take awife unto my son of the daughtersof the Canaanites’, Gen 24. 1-8. Theservant went back to Abraham’sGod-fearing family and broughtIsaac a wife, Rebekah. She and Isaac

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Believers marrying unbelieversBY

IAN

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Young Precious Seed 3-2008:Young Precious Seed 1-2007 5 7/10/08 4:29 PM

brought up their boys to fear Godand to obey Him. Esau, their eldest,however, rebelled and showed hisattitude by marrying unbelievingwomen. This was ‘a grief of mindunto Isaac and to Rebekah’, Gen. 26.34, who worried that Jacob mightdo the same. ‘If Jacob take a wife ofthe daughters of the land, whatgood shall my life do me?’ askedRebekah, Gen. 27. 46. So she senthim away to her family, saying, ‘Thoushalt not take a wife of thedaughters of Canaan’, Gen 28. 1.

God gives an instructionWhy all this fuss, we might ask?Surely all that is important is for aman or a woman who is lonely toget married? After all, if it is better tomarry than to burn with lust, 1 Cors.7. 9, then any wife or husband, willdo. Yet God saw the disastrousinfluence an unbelieving wife canhave on a husband, and vice versa,and so He instructed His believingpeople accordingly. As they wereabout to go into the promised land,He told them they would find manynations in the land, but they werenot to ‘make marriages with them’.Why? ‘For they will turn away thyson from following me, that theymay serve other gods’, Deut. 7. 1-4;Exod. 34. 12-16. Is this possible?There are many examples of thishappening, not least of all Solomonwho, despite his immense wisdom,loved and married many women,some of whom were unbelievers.And ‘when Solomon was old, hiswives turned away his heart afterother gods: and his heart was notperfect with the Lord his God’, 1Kings 11. 4.

Believers andunbelievers arefundamentallyincompatibleThe problem is simplythis, ‘Can two walktogether [unless] they be agreed?’Amos 3.3. A believer should havecompletely different standards, aims,and interests to an unbeliever. Abeliever should want to submit everyaspect of his/her life to God and toHis will; an unbeliever won’t. Abeliever should want to bring up anychildren he/she may have from themarriage to fear God and honourHim; an unbeliever won’t. A believershould want to attend a place ofworship every Sunday; an unbelieverwon’t. An unbeliever may want todrink alcohol regularly, go pubbing orclubbing; a believer shouldn’t. Howcan a marriage last if it has to face theadditional stresses and strains ofconstant disagreement in thisfundamentally important aspect oflifestyle? ‘What fellowship hathrighteousness with unrighteousness?and what communion hath light withdarkness? And what concord hathChrist with Belial? or what part hathhe that believeth with an infidel?’ 2Cors. 6. 14-15.

‘Ah! But…’ you say. ‘Didn’t Josephmarry an unbeliever in Egypt?’ Gen.41. 45. ‘Didn’t Moses marry anEthiopian woman?’ Num. 12. 1. Yesthey did, but this was clearly beforethe law of God was given throughMoses, and who is to say that becausethey did these things, we should? Onthe other hand, Joseph’s wife was thedaughter of a pagan priest but she

3Believers who havemarried unbelievershave brought upon

themselves hugeproblems and

sorrows and haveoften been led astray


may have come to believe in the onetrue God. There is nothing to tell usthat Moses’ wife, though Ethiopian,was not a believer in the one trueGod either. The command of God inthe Old Testament is clear, that Hisearthly people, the Jews, were not tomarry the pagans round about them.It is equally true in the NewTestament, where we read that God’sspiritual people, Christians, areinstructed, to put it at its simplest andstraightest, ‘Be ye not unequallyyoked together with unbelievers’, 2Cors. 6. 14.

Remember, then, that God sees onlyone division amongst mankind and itis simply this, that there are believersand there are unbelievers, John 3. 36.This simple division can be seen asthose that have the Son and thosethat have not the Son, 1 John 5. 12,those that are in the light and thosethat are in darkness, those that are inthe kingdom of God’s dear Son andthose that are not. But it is the sametwo groups. Secondly, God warns usin both Old and New Testaments thatbelievers marrying unbelievers will

lead to compromise. Wheneversomeone from one group marriessomeone from the other there will beconsequences. Those believers whohave married unbelievers havebrought upon themselves hugeproblems and sorrows and haveoften been led astray because it iseasier to bring someone down thanto life someone up. RememberSamson and Solomon.

Going out with unbelievers‘Alright,’ you say. ‘I take your point. Butis there anything wrong in going outwith an unbeliever? Surely that isacceptable to God provided I do notmarry them?’ The first question to askis this, Why go out with them? Surelythe purpose of dating/ courting/going out with someone is to seewhether you are compatible or not?And if someone is not a believer, andyou are, you are fundamentallyincompatible. A man or womanshould only date someone who is apotential wife or husband;unbelievers are not potential wives orhusbands until they are believers.‘Yes,’ you say. ‘But that is the wholepoint. If I go out with an unbeliever,and invite them to the meetings,maybe they will get saved’. Yes. Andmaybe they will not. In the meantime,you and he/she are getting closeremotionally and physically, and thatis a dangerous position in which tobe. Say, for instance, that non-Christian boyfriend of yours proposesmarriage. Would you say, ‘No. I can’tmarry you because you are not aChristian’. How would you reply, then,if he said to you, ‘Then why are wegoing out together? You’re justwasting my time’? What if that non-

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Believers marrying unbelievers


Christian girl-friend of yours asks,‘Why don’t we live together?’ and youreply, ‘We can’t do that until we aremarried, but we can’t marry until youare a Christian’. Is that fair to her? Areyou not just putting pressure onsomeone to make a profession offaith that may prove to be unreal?

But what if I am alreadymarried to an unbeliever?The teaching of the Bible is clear thata believing man should neverseparate from his un-believing wife,nor should a believing wife separatefrom her unbelieving husbandmerely on the grounds of faith or lackof it in their partners. It is clearlystated, ‘If any brother hath a wife thatbelieveth not . . . let him not put heraway [divorce her]; and the womanwhich hath an husband thatbelieveth not. . . let her not leave him’,1 Cors. 7. 12 – 13. Marriage, even onebetween believers and unbelievers, issacred to God. It is surely the hope ofall believers married to unbelieversthat their unbelieving spouses can beinfluenced by their faith, theirexample and their godliness. It is alsotheir hope that their children may beinfluenced by the Word of God intheir homes, 1 Cors. 7. 14. Yet this doesnot lessen the fact that a home whereone partner is a believer and theother is not, is a divided home. Godcan bless it, and save in it. But God’sgrace should never be taken forgranted and should never be used asan excuse to enter into a marriagerelationship that is forbidden by God.

ConclusionThere are certain decisions that you

and I have to make which are uniqueto ourselves and for these there isoften no clear guidance for us in theBible. Where I live, what job I shoulddo, what car I should drive, whether Ishould marry or not, whom I shouldgo out with, are matters that aredifferent for each Christian. There arecertain principles of Christian living,however, upon which God gives clearguidance to all Christians. Theseapply to every believer regardless ofthe generation, time or culture. Godwill not vary these principles for anyone of us. If the principle of unequalyoke in marriage is given to allChristians, we have no right to thinkGod will vary that principle for us, andwe have no right even to considerdisobeying it. Keeping company withunbelievers andgetting too close tothem will bringcompromise. Don’tdo it. Neither marry,nor go out with,unbelievers. It maycost you everything.

BY IA

N RE

ES

A man or womanshould only date

someone who is apotential wife or

husband;unbelievers are notpotential wives or

husbands until theyare believers.

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My Top Ten Books Bible:The Greek/Hebrew Key Word Study BibleIncluded under book number 1

1 The Greek/Hebrew Key WordStudy Bible by Spiros ZodhiatesI have found this Bible to be anexcellent language help study Bible.Key words in each verse are keyed toStrong’s dictionary in the back of theBible. Key Hebrew/Greek words arealso listed in the back in a usefulLexical Aid section. New TestamentGreek verbs are keyed to aGrammatical Aids section as well.There are good introductions to eachbook of the Bible and while notagreeing with every study note theyare generally good and helpful.

2 Exhaustive Concordance of theBible by James StrongWe all owe a great debt of gratitudeto Mr. James Strong for thismonumental work. Each word in the

English Bible iscarefully listedalphabetically and it’sHebrew or Greekc o u n t e r p a r tnumbered. Then eachHebrew/Greek word istransliterated, brieflydefined, and otherwords used in Englishto translate thatparticular word listedat the end. This work isthe key to hours ofvery profitable wordstudies opening upthe beauty of the

original languages to the Englishreader.

3 Expository Dictionary of Words by W. E. VineFor the student with no knowledge ofGreek this volume is indispensable.The newer editions are keyed toStrong’s Concordance which can behelpful. Learning the various Englishwords translated from one Greekword or one the other hand variousGreek words translated into oneEnglish word is valuable inunderstanding the fullness of bothlanguages thus enhancing our Biblestudy. This greatly expands andenhances the dictionary in Strong’sConcordance.

4 Theological Wordbook of the Old Testamentby Harris, Archer, and WaltkeHebrew is a completely different kindof language than Greek or English.This does for the Old TestamentHebrew what Vine’s does for the NewTestament. It has an index which iskeyed to Strong’s numbers and withthis the English reader can find hisway through the Hebrew alphabet bywhich this work is arranged. This isthe most helpful Old TestamentLexical aid for the non Hebrew readerthat I have found.

5 The Moody Atlas of Bible Landsby Barry J BeitzelThis Atlas is divided into threesections. There is a physicalgeography, a historical geography ahistory of Biblical mapmaking. Thislast section I have never read because

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∞my interest isn’t in mapmaking. Thesecond section is the largest and forme the most interesting. A great dealof commentary is given all of which Ido not personally endorse, but agreat deal of which I have found to bevery helpful. A helpful tool forbackground study in the Bible

6 The Crises of the Christ by G. Campbell MorganMr. Morgan divides the life of Christinto 7 crises events showing thebeauty of the character of the LordJesus. It is devotionally written whilethoroughly expository. Its 400 pluspages will point you to the glory ofthe Lord Jesus. Unfortunately, I’m notsure it is still in print. But if you canfind a used copy somewhere it isworth the investment.

7 The Church. A discipleshipmanual for the body of Christby Randal AmosThis is a new book by a well-knownand respected brother who has a realpassion for the proper functioning ofthe local church. It is written as astudy manual thus making it ideal forsmall group studies especially forbeginners in church truth. As I read itI was greatly encouraged with itspractical instructions and doctrinalintegrity. Two elders that haverecently read it have ordered copiesfor each family in their fellowship. Ipray that this book will have a widedistribution.

8 Harvest Festivals by H. K. DownieThis book on the Feasts of Jehovah(Lev. 23) is important for two reasons.First, it is more complete than most

books on this subject and itsexposition is clear. He is careful toexpound the Jewish understandingbefore jumping to its typical teachingwhich is very important. Secondly, asa first book a person may readdealing with the typology of the OldTestament it will greatly help in theunderstanding and interpretation oftypology here as well as otherpassages.

9 The Pilgrim Church by E. H. BroadbentThis book is a tracing of folks downthrough the centuries of the churchthat have sought to meet togethersimply endeavoring to be atestimony to the truth of scripturesnot only in the gospel but in churchorder as well. This endeavor has putthese folks outside the main streamof Christendom. Those who dependon the Word as their only authority,the Spirit as their only guide, andthe Lord as their only head havealways been in the minority. Beencouraged!

10 Shadow of the Almighty by Elizabeth ElliottMaybe the most important event inthe spread of the gospel thatoccurred in the 20th century was themartyrdom of 5 men in the jungles ofEcuador in January of 1956. This is theaccount of the life of Jim Elliot, one ofthe five, by his wife. Jim’s life ofdevotion to God and his passion forthe gospel is one of the greatmissionary stories of our time. Thefamous quote from Jim Elliot’s life is“He is no fool who gives what hecannot keep to gain what he cannotlose.”

BY JI

M M

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K (U

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Meet Mrs. Gossip. Of course, when we speakof Mr. Know-it all, Master Cynic or Mrs. Gossipwe know that these characteristics are notgender-specific; there are many women whoare sarcastic and know it all, just as there aremany men who are gossips. But we areidentifying a family in our assessment offoolish behaviour.

And we have all seen the Mrs., or Mr., Gossip atwork. They are free with their tongues,unprincipled in what they say and to whomthey say it, and are quite unconcerned aboutthe results of what they say. Proverbs 18 andverse 8 describes such a person as ‘a talebearer’.The same word is translated as ‘a whisperer’ inchapter 16 and verse 28. Mrs. Gossip issomeone who enjoys sharing news about otherpeople, especially if it is bad news. She oftenbegins her conversation with, ‘Did you know?’or ‘Have you heard about so-and-so?’ She willnot, of course, spread her news in front of theperson about whom she is speaking. Her workis usually done behind someone’s back, with a‘nudge nudge’, and a low, whispering tone. Sheis not always malicious in what she says. It isjust a thrill for her to be the first to tell peoplesomething. ‘A talebearer revealeth secrets’, Prov.11. 13, and she is so well known for this thatsome will say, ‘Don’t tell so and so or elseeveryone will know’.

The trouble is we all like to hear gossip. Thedanger of hearing gossip is as bad as thedanger of spreading it. We are twice warnedabout this in the book of Proverbs, once inchapter 18 and verse 8 and then again in

chapter 26 and verse 22. ‘The words of atalebearer are as wounds, and they go downinto the innermost part of the belly’. The word‘wounds’ here means ‘dainty morsels’. It comesfrom the verb to ‘devour’ or ‘gobble up’.Listening to gossip, and passing it on, is aspleasurable as eating the most appetizingpudding.

We need to be aware that gossip divides thebest of friends, Prov. 16. 28. It is destructive. Itcauses strife, Prov. 26. 20. Gossip influences ourthoughts and opinions of other peoplewithout us knowing it, and very few of us willgo up to the person about whom people aregossiping to confirm the truth of what isbeing said. Gossip, therefore, often grows, and,like Chinese whispers, ends up completelydifferent to the truth. If it is said kindly (andsome of it is well-intentioned) it can still beinaccurate and harmful. If it is said maliciously,it can destroy a person’s reputation, character,testimony and influence.

God hates gossip and gossips. ‘Thou shalt notgo up and down as a talebearer among thypeople’, says God, Lev. 19. 16. He hates ‘he thatsoweth discord among brethren’,Prov. 6. 19. Don’t be a gossip,and don’t listen to gossip. Turnaway from it. If news hasnothing to do with you, don’tpass it on. Talk to the Lord aboutwhat you hear about others, andnot to anyone else. ‘Speak notevil, one of another’. Gossips arefools. Don’t be one.

BY IA

N RE

ES

Young Precious Seed magazine is online at www.youngpreciousseed.org . . . log on for web-only content as well

Recognizing, but not being, fools.

The Whisperers


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