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Written by:

Jaclyn DArcy

Illustrated by:

Sumi Tatsui

Clueless Teens

Guide To Dating


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Published by Merit Educational Consultants, LLC

Copyright ** Merit Educational Consultants, LLC

DArcy, Jaclyn, 2006

ISBN:

Printed in the United States of America

Except in the United States of America, this book is sold

subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade

or otherwise, be lent, copied, re-sold, hired out, orotherwise circulated without the publishers prior

consent in any form of binding or cover other than that

in which it is published and without a similar condition

including this condition being imposed on the

subsequent publisher.


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Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Introduction ......................................... 5

Chapter 2: Initial Sparks ....................................... 11

Chapter 3: Going Out and Commitment................ 39

Chapter 4: About Sex ......................................... 71

Chapter 5: Contraception .................................... 83

Chapter 6: STDs ................................................. 93

Chapter 7: Conclusion ........................................ 99


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IntroductionIm sure you have been here before: you re at a party,

and you see a really cute guy sitting on the couch. Youwant to go talk to him, but you dont know how.

Youre anxious and excited about meeting him, so you

decide to go with your friend to talk to him and his

friends. Youre enthralled at the chance to meet him.

Act on your feelings; if you dont, youll regret it later.

You may not get any second chances.

You may be thinking about what to say--after all, you

want to come up with the perfect opening. Typically,

girls say Hey, whats up? Hows agoin? These are

common and casual greetings that can break the ice.

Usually, if the guy is at all interested, hell answer andask you questions to keep the conversation going. Its

important to not read into his response because, unlike

you, he hasnt had time to think of questions and decide

what to say. Guys arent always sure of what to do

when theyre being approached. Theyll most likely feel

even more awkward and nervous than you will.

How do you know if this is going well? What does his

response mean? The answer to these questions and

many more are in this book. Clueless Teens Guide to

Datingis a guide for teens about how to best handle

awkward relationship situations. By reading this book,

you can use these tips to improve your relationships

with your friends and significant others.

The target audience for this book includes teenagers

from ages thirteen to eighteen. The information is


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Side Bar: Teenage dating is

misunderstood by the general public

because of the medias depiction of a

dangerous alcohol and drug-filled world

packed with threats from car wrecks tointernet predators (...because of the mediasdepiction of a dangerous world filled with drugs

and alcohol, and packed with threats from

everything from car wrecks to internet predators).

I want to demonstrate to both parents and

teens the reality of the events that occur in

modern dating scenes. Teenage lifestyles

are often described negatively and are notdepicted accurately. The stories of teenage

dating, drugs, violence, and random sex do

not apply to most teens. Even teens get most

of their information from the popular media.

Media depictions that include controversial

behaviors are not as frightening to teens who

live in this world as they might be to theoutside. To find out what really goes on in

the world of teens, keep reading. Parents

may be restricting their kids more than

necessary.


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specifically written for girls; however, it may prove to be

interesting to boys as well.

One of the keys to dating is knowing what you dontwant. Everyone knows what they do want: handsome,

generous, smart, sensitive, good sense of humor,

attentive, gentlemanly, respectful, etc

Although everyone wants those qualities in their guy, its

really more important to know what you dont want.

Being a teenager, youre going to be experimental.

Knowing what you dont like in a guy will help you

narrow down the type of guy you will get along with best.

Personally, there are several things that I cant stand

about guys (other girls might not find these so

offensive). For example, I dont like it when a guy makes

disparaging comments about girls hes hooked up with

before. Or guys who think its cool to get poor grades inschool, get high before classes, and to get drunk on a

weekday because theyre bored. One thing that I had a

hard time dealing with was when my ex told me that he

hunted animals for sport. Other girls might not be

bothered by it, but I dont like my friends hurting

animals. Knowing what you dont like helps you

understand yourself, as well as what kind of guy youwant to date.


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Sidebar: Make a list of things you dont like in a guy.1. Arrogant personality

2. Nipple and tongue piercing

3. Guys who flirt with everyone

4. Guys with hickeys

Sidebar: Hanging out versus Hooking up.

Hanging out is an activity that people do together when

they are just friends. Hooking up adds a one night

stand context and has a very negative connotation. It

doesnt always mean having sex. In fact, it rarely

means having intercourse. When people hook up it

usually involves making out with a lot of physical contact.


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Be honest; you dont have to have a rational reason for

your sensitivity. Evaluate the list to better understand

yourself as a person. In many cases, you may want a

guy who is just like you; in other cases you will notbutby clarifying what you dont want, you will figure out

what you do want.

This book is divided into four chapters that will

chronologically cover advice spanning from the initial

sparks to the end of the relationship. There is also

information about contraception, pregnancy, STDs, and

birth control.

I will discuss typical scenarios that you and your friends

may have already encountered and some you may have

not. Fictional stories are also added to illustrate the

reasoning for my tips.

The information in this book is useful and practical. Thestatistics on teenage problems were gathered from

surveys taken by teenagers across the United States.

With both the surveys and my own personal experience,

I try to create helpful and informative advice to guide

teenagers through a challenging and exciting time in

their lives.


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Initial Sparks

2. Initial SparksAlright, youve seen him, now what do you do?

-How do you let him know that you like him?Sometimes you might not know how to approach the boy

youre interested in. You may want to wait for your

crush to come to you so that you do not have to go out

of your normal comfort zone.

You want to impress him and make a good impression

on him, but you dont know how. This can make a

conversation that you would normally have with a boy

awkward and difficult especially if you are meeting him

for the first time. Even if you have known him for

several years, you may not know how to handle

becoming attracted to him in a new way. If you feelanxious, stressed, and/or nervous, dont fret, youre not

alone.

Sometimes, a boy will not approach you because he

might think that if you were interested in him, you would

have already approached him. Also, boys can simply

be oblivious to your desires even if they share yourfeelings.

The best way to get his attention is to approach him with

a smile and talk to him about things that you have in

common. If youre already friends, then youll need to

send him some kind of message that youre interested in

being more than friends.

Flirt and smile, but make him come to you; let him make

the first move. Be subtle, dont throw yourself on him


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because hell most likely not respond well to your

actions. By aggressively pursuing a guy, you may

succeed in hooking up with him. However, that does not

ensure his respect or a long-term relationship. Its bestto not hook up too soon. The chase is fun for both

people, so enjoy the sparks of the new relationship.

Waiting for someone usually makes you want him even

more, and, in the end, itll make having him all the more

worthwhile.

So, girls, dont trip over yourself trying to get some

guys attention. Usually the more reserved and classy

girls stand out and are more attractive to guys than the

loud and obnoxious girls who are all over them.

Its important to realize that girls often have an

advantage over boys in the initial meetings. Were more

social and have an ability to make both casual

conversation as well as physical communication. Girlstend to be more skilled when it comes to perceiving

natural moments, such as the right time to touch him (be

physically close). After all, girls are friendly and

emotional with their girlfriends. These are natural skills

that most girls acquire through time. If hes interested in

you, he can take your signals as an interest in him. If

hes not interested in you, he can easily ignore themwithout actually rejecting you.

Girls are good at body language. You can start making

eye contact and making more light physical contact with

him by tickling or nudging him. If youre only

acquaintances, or have never met him, look for a

connection between the two of you that can open thedoor to more dialogue.


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Do you have mutual friends? Do your friends know any

of his friends? Do you have any of the same classes as

him? If so, then take the chance to talk to him in a

group setting. This will make it easier to talk to him one-on-one in the future.

Once this friendship is established, you can take it to

another level. The next level is finding a way to get in

contact with him again after this initial talk or meeting.

One way of indicating that the relationship is going

somewhere is to get his phone number, screen name,

email, and/or MySpace name. Personalized web

spaces like MySpace are ideal because you can look up

other people and send messages to them. Because it

might be too forward to call him directly, sending him a

quick message is a harmless way to communicate with

him. It serves as both a protective barrier and a buffer

that helps take the edge off the initial meetings. Its thestep before contacting him through other friends or

calling him on the phone.

Be wary when socializing on the internet. One in four

teens have been sexually solicited online.

If you know that a guy likes you, and you feel the same

way, talk to him online, on the phone, at school, orwherever you see him. Flirt with him and make eye

contact with him when talking. If he doesnt ask you to

hang out with him, then you might have to take the

initiative to ask him to hang out with you. On weekends,

invite him to join you and your friends at a movie or fun

activity. Or you can invite him to a big social gathering;

a party or a bonfire would be an easy way to spend time

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