during all criminal investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once
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During all criminal investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. Never, ever, be Inspector Harry Callahan’s new partner. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
During all criminal investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip
joint at least once.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Never, ever, be Inspector Harry Callahan’s new
partner.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will
always choose the right one.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Police departments give their officers personality
tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their total
opposite.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated
machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man
eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
I missed the day of the Academy when they taught how to ride on a car hood.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Your supervisor is always wrong and must be trained
into understanding your methods of police work are
far superior to his.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Exotic sports cars can be bought on a cop's salary.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every officer will be involved in a shooting within the first week on
duty.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
There are two types of women:
1. Victims. 2. Kick ass partners. You will sleep with both types.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Pistols are never carried with a round chambered.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
You can knock most bad guys old cold with a single
punch, and never break your hand.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Unless the movie is about a federal agent, federal
agents all wear expensive, three-piece suits, and are
incompetent jerks.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Even the tightest, most fashionable outfits can
completely conceal guns, badges, handcuffs and
pistol magazines.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops involved in shootings are seldom debriefed or placed on administrative
leave.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Typing in only a name into a police computer will yield
the owner’s last ten addresses and employers, complete military record,
and medical history.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Any police radio can be “patched through” to the Joint Chiefs of Staff on a
moment’s notice.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops commonly transfer from one major police
department to another with no intervening training or loss of status or seniority.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Detective’s offices are always clean and modern,
unless they are in New York City, where they will be housed in condemned
buildings.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every patrol division has at least one fat, aging cop who
wisecracks endlessly and smokes a cigar.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
The smallest detail in a photograph or video image
can be “enhanced” to reveal the suspect’s face.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Criminal gangs can always find an abandoned building with heat, electricity, and
telephone service to use as a hideout.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Cops never know of the existence of these
buildings.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
An unlimited number of search warrants can be
“picked up” by any officer, for any reason, at a moment’s notice.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
The chances of being killed by a drunk driver increase
approximately 100 times by marrying a cop.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every third vehicle accident will involve at least a minor
fire.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every fifth vehicle accident will result in a breathtaking
explosion.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Police radios will transmit without having to activate the “push to talk” button.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Every police agency, district attorney’s office, and animal
shelter has at least one “safe house.”
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
If you need to escape from a building, use the ventilation system. The ducts are large
and unobstructed, and no one will think of looking for you
there.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All telephone numbers in the USA begin with 555.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All beds have special L shaped sheets which reach up
to armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the
man lying beside her.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is easy for anyone to land a plane, as long as there is
someone in the control tower to talk them down.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his
wounds.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
out a bill. Just grab one at random and hand it over - it will always be the exact fare.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Women will investigate any suspicious noise in a house
while wearing their most revealing underwear.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending telephone conversations.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices having large red digital
displays, so you know exactly when the bomb will go off.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.
Things I Learned From Cop Movies
Any door can be opened in seconds with a paper clip or credit card, unless it is the
door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.