Love is a Practice. We are here to Love; let’s Love each other well. Like everything, our willingness to Love and be Loved, expands in direct proportion to the amount of attention we give it.

Practice Love. Heal Yourself. Practice Love. Heal Others. Practice Love. Heal Yourself.

Getting Dumped on Yogaby

Anna Allocco May 2012

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“There is nothing you need to do to improve what you really are. The only thing left for all of us to do is to create a beautiful story and enjoy a better life. How do you create a beautiful story? By being authentic. When the main character is authentic, it is easy to write your story with integrity, with common sense, with love.”

~ Don Miguel Ruiz

One of the first Yoga Sutras states that Yoga is the practice of stopping how the mind turns things around.

Stories are not true. Stories are stories.

Some stories are sad.The narwhal looks pretty sad, doesn’t she? Alone, misunderstood, at least that’s her story. Maybe everyone loves her and gives her space as an expression of love. But, she doesn’t want space. She wants to

feel the world around and rushing through her.

Trungpa Chogyam Rinpoche defines Negativity as “the basic aggression of wanting things to be

different than they are.” First things first…we have to be honest when we are wishing things were different.

Maybe we are pretending to be okay with things but, actually, we’re not.

There is great freedom, there is power, in owning our negativity.

Negativity has energy that can be channeled. (Raw!) Repression, pretending, justifying, explaining, does not. (Stale.)

Take this guy; people insist he’s a Weeble. He says, he’s a Rocket Boy. If people bought and sold you for being something you’re not, you’re going to

have some Negativity. Am I right? No shame in Negativity, people. Own it!

Or, maybe you and your friend have been enjoying a nice jaunt and all of a sudden your friend takes off, no explanation, and stops talking to

you. That too, that kind of sucks. Negativity. Right?

My Heart is BrokenDid you know that Heartbroken is just a romantic way of expressing the feeling of betrayal?

The feeling of being sliced open by a sword you never saw coming and never guarded against.

No controlSurrenderVulnerableLoveTrust

Waffling between tragic and pathetic,between profound and absurd.

My daughter’s concerned that I’m going to seem “clingy” by sharing what this process was like for me.

She said, “Mom, he’s going to think you want to get back together with him.”

I said, “I’m not trying to get him back. I’m expressing myself, being honest, and practicing Yoga. ”

“Mom! You don’t get it. People are not like you.”

“Okay. I get that. But, nobody’s like anybody, honey.”

Eckhart Tolle, who’s making tons of money on ideas like this, says we have 3 choices when we encounter a Present Moment (which is all there is) that we don’t like. It’s very simple. Just three choices: Accept, Leave, Change.

1. We can Accept What Is.

And if What Is is ranking pretty high on the “This Sucks” scale, Acceptance may feel like depression.

That’s Weak Sauce. I hoped by practicing Acceptance I’d feel liberated, not depressed. Which is crazy. I know better. I’m a Yoga Teacher.

Anyway…I accepted that he broke up with me.

Ouch.

2. We can Leave What Is.

He chose option 2.

I accepted him leaving the intimate relationship and how I felt about that. But, I wasn’t willing to accept the radical amputation of all communication. I know, I’m being dramatic. Cut me some slack, woodja? I just got dumped!

Is it okay to look for someone who left? Don’t we all want to be seen?Don’t we all want to connect?

3. We can change What Is Not talking with each other about what happened

and feeling like my Voice is not valued is unacceptable; no for option 1. I don’t want a radical relationship amputation ; no for option 2. I cannot control his process, but I can respect mine. Yes for option 3: the change is reaching out to him again and the change is this slide-story..

Prayer/Devotion/MeditationI’m taking a bath for 30 Days because I’m desperate and that’s what desperate people do. We work the discipline. ~thank you desperation~

~thank you discipline~

I really liked this apartment. Look at the tub! The man who owns the building is friendly and respectful with warm energy. The location is perfect and it’s affordable.

But, I had a boyfriend with two children and I didn’t think there was enough room for all of us to comfortably be there at the same time. I said no to this apartment and yes to... (Stupid) Love.

After looking at this place, I told my boyfriend that sometime in the future I would be happy to be in a family with him. And, two days later he dumped me.

“I am not committed to being in a family with you.”

“Not now?”

Oh, no, he was clearer than that. Not now. Not ever.

How the Fuck out of it was I?I know, I know, we all love differently. I’m not going to explain why I

was so shocked; those details don’t add anima to the story. This story is about Supernova EXPLOSION! This is about getting knocked down

by dissonance*!

*Okay, it’s also a story about standing, about being connected and grounded.

Where does a remarkable resolve to disconnect come from? Why can’t we take care of ourselves and others at the same time?Why do we withhold suffering from one another? Why do we keep our petty grievances, life-long fears, shame and sorrow hidden?

It’s so sad.Almost unbearable.

We may have broken up anyway. I understand that.

Do people give each other beautiful necklaces like this and then just stop loving them?Oh, I know, I know. It’s much more complicated than that. All of us have elaborate stories justifying Fear.

How do I balance respect for other people being the author of their story with respect for my storywhen there is no agreement between the two stories?

When I am afraid, how do I come from Love, again?

If someone else is afraid, what can I do?

CONFUSION

It’s all story… it’s ALL story!We (including me) think our stories are Truth when in fact, they are just interpretations. She doesn’t pay attention …

He’s missing the point…

We act like our stories are real. They are not. They are one way of linking life together. Wake Up, people!

It’s sweet. We create something that is sacred and absurd. We construct physical testimonies of our longing for Connection and Joy…And, then, we get the wind knocked out of us. Maybe I’m all fucked up? Maybe this unprotected approach to Love is irresponsible? Maybe I had my head up my ass in la-la land?

This is Romehenge. In Rome, Maine.My best people, Michelle and Rhoads, live here. My boyfriend visited Rome with me 3 weeks before dumping me. He didn’t see Romehenge. He did play Horse with us. You know, that basketball game. Who can resist a man who plays Horse? You? Well then, bad news - you’re crazy.

FEAR, the path to love

Am I okay?

When I can be so out of touch with a person I love, am I okay?

If I love someone that doesn’t love me the same way, am I okay?

When the people I love are scared, am I okay?

If people don’t hear the call to Love like I hear it, am I okay?

Am I okay?

I’m scared because I care about experiencing the Love of Existence.

Appendix that is not at the end:

Responses to hearing about my being Dumped•“Stunned,” said my Dad. •“Surprised and depressed,” said a nameless man.•“This makes no sense!”, said Michelle.•“Maybe he has a terminal illness and is protecting you from it,” said my sister.•“Shocked,” said my teacher.

Maybe I wasn’t so out of it. We all welcomed him in our hearts.

I look so relaxed, here.

Chillin’. You know how I do.

Chillin’ here.

That’s me, still.

What Are We Doing Here?

If we’re not here to Love each other, then what are we here for?I’m not saying that we need to justify or explain to one another how our Love is uniquely expressed.What I am saying is, Let’s be Honest. What are we doing?Are we trying to make sure we don’t get fucked up or over? Are we protecting ourselves? Or, are we in Love? * Who’s your Daddy?*

Are some doors better left closed?

Shit, man, I don’t know.

I like opening. I also like chocolate. And, almonds.

Just admit it when you’re closing the door. And be honest about what you want to keep out or in. If you’re too scared to open the door, own it. Negativity has power.

Hiding does not.

If you think there’s Wisdom in keeping it shut, share the frickin’ insight. Don’t just slam it. Damn.

What is stronger than Fear?

What am I willing to be absolutely terrified for?

What inspires me to come out of hiding?

Freedom. Connection. Expansion. Joy.

LOVE.

LOVE.

LOVE.

See the Shadow

I invoke my ability to see clearly, all that is there. It’s okay to see people’s Shadows and name them. We all have them.

I welcome my willingness to notice when the people I love are becoming fatigued.

I can be responsible for my strength and passion.

All Love.

Including love for myself… you won’t see me wearing that necklace anytime soon…

Not because he’s a jerk, but because I’m not down with Love that shuts down so quickly.

How amazing is this relationship right here?

At any moment, we can let the story go, look around, be amazed and…

…begin again. We begin again and again and again…

Love is a Practice. We are here to Love; let’s Love each other well. Like everything, our willingness to Love and be Loved, expands in direct proportion to the amount of attention we give it.

Practice Love. Heal Yourself. Practice Love. Heal Others. Practice Love. Heal Yourself.

Red Cardinal Press © 2012