Ducky the Clown

Sam and Kelly come onstage

Sam: At 900 pm. I meet Kelly at the Caf la Caf.

Sam: My dear Kelly, have you heard of the case of the blood bank burglaryKelly: He was caught red-handed, I know! Is there another case now?Sam: As a matter of fact, yes. About Ducky the clown. Kelly: Arent you afraid of clowns?Sam: Yes, but I dont turn down casesKelly: Talk about pride!

They come offstage

Sam comes in with Ducky.

Ducky: What did I do?Sam: Kill children, perhaps?Ducky: Oh yeah, that. Sam: Why, Ducky? I thought you were fun, not evil.Ducky: Youd be surprised how many evil clowns there are.

Sam trembles.

Ducky: AnywaySam interrupts.Sam: What?Ducky: Its nothing. Its just thatthatthat I am evil.Sam: Oh god!Ducky: You should know what I did.Sam: What is it?Kelly: I dont want to know.Ducky: I killed these children.Sam and Kelly (in unison): How!Ducky: Jokes.Sam: Kelly, since when did jokes kill?Ducky: Since 1940, I think.Sam: Thank you for your very interesting trivia fact.Ducky: Welcome.Kelly: Why did you do it?Ducky: For happiness.Sam: Ooooooh, he likes killing people!Ducky: Not like that, I kill them to get their happy power. Ever since I was a teenager at Clown School, I was laughed at and teased, especially about my name. Everyone called me Yucky and hated my jokes. I was so sad after graduating that I swore to get revenge on these meanies. I used my bad jokes to kill children and take their happy power so I could feel happier.