drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children

73
1 Table of Contents At Home .............................................................................................. 3 At School .............................................................................................. 5 Restaurant Manners ...................................................................... 6 Social Etiquette Celebrations ...................................................... 7 National Anthem ............................................................................. 9 Table Graces ..................................................................................... 9 Familiar Graces ............................................................................... 9 F F o o r r m m a a l l D D i i n n i i n n g g ................................................................................ 10 Seven Course Meals ..................................................................... 14 Host Role…………………………………………………………..15 T T e e a a P P a a r r t t y y E E t t i i q q u u e e t t t t e e ....................................................................... 17 Formal Dining ................................................................................ 23 Healthy Eating ............................................................................... 25 How to Eat To Live ........................................................................ 26 Fun Food Facts .............................................................................. 28 Telephone Etiquette ..................................................................... 30 Cell Phone Etiquette..................................................................... 31 Email Etiquette .............................................................................. 32 Y Y o o u u r r C C h h i i l l d d s s S S c c h h o o o o l l ...................................................................... 34 University/College ........................................................................ 36 High Expectations and Enrollment Tips ............................... 36 Fashion Tips for Women ............................................................. 38 Fashion & Accessory Tips .......................................................... 38 Professional Attire ......................................................................... 44 Business Casual Attire for Women ......................................... 44 Personal Grooming ....................................................................... 46 Business Attire for Men .............................................................. 47 Business Casual Attire for Men ............................................... 48 Employment .................................................................................... 51 R R e e s s u u m m é é W W r r i i t t i i n n g g T T i i p p s s .................................................................... 51 Sample Job Application .............................................................. 53 Personal Check List ...................................................................... 56 Job Interview Tips ......................................................................... 57 Introductions Handshaking/Conversation Tips ............... 59 What to Talk About ...................................................................... 61 Communication Barriers ............................................................ 62 Choices We Make .......................................................................... 63 Parents/Caregivers ....................................................................... 65 Tough Subjects .............................................................................. 65 Alcohol ~ Drugs ~ Smoking ............................................... 65 Choices and Consequences ....................................................... 66 Achieving Your Goals ................................................................... 67 Your Financial Budget................................................................. 68 Glossary ........................................................................................... 69

Upload: gulzarminto

Post on 20-May-2015

334 views

Category:

Spiritual


1 download

TRANSCRIPT

1

Table of Contents At Home .............................................................................................. 3 At School .............................................................................................. 5 Restaurant Manners ...................................................................... 6 Social Etiquette Celebrations ...................................................... 7 National Anthem ............................................................................. 9 Table Graces ..................................................................................... 9 Familiar Graces ............................................................................... 9 FFoorrmmaall DDiinniinngg ................................................................................ 10 Seven Course Meals ..................................................................... 14 Host Role…………………………………………………………..15 TTeeaa PPaarrttyy EEttiiqquueettttee ....................................................................... 17 Formal Dining ................................................................................ 23 Healthy Eating ............................................................................... 25 How to Eat To Live ........................................................................ 26 Fun Food Facts .............................................................................. 28 Telephone Etiquette ..................................................................... 30 Cell Phone Etiquette..................................................................... 31 Email Etiquette .............................................................................. 32 YYoouurr CChhiilldd’’ss SScchhooooll ...................................................................... 34 University/College ........................................................................ 36 High Expectations and Enrollment Tips ............................... 36 Fashion Tips for Women ............................................................. 38 Fashion & Accessory Tips .......................................................... 38 Professional Attire ......................................................................... 44 Business Casual Attire for Women ......................................... 44 Personal Grooming ....................................................................... 46 Business Attire for Men .............................................................. 47 Business Casual Attire for Men ............................................... 48 Employment.................................................................................... 51 RReessuumméé WWrriittiinngg TTiippss.................................................................... 51 Sample Job Application .............................................................. 53 Personal Check List...................................................................... 56 Job Interview Tips......................................................................... 57 Introductions Handshaking/Conversation Tips............... 59

What to Talk About ...................................................................... 61 Communication Barriers ............................................................ 62 Choices We Make .......................................................................... 63 Parents/Caregivers....................................................................... 65 Tough Subjects .............................................................................. 65

Alcohol ~ Drugs ~ Smoking ............................................... 65 Choices and Consequences ....................................................... 66 Achieving Your Goals ................................................................... 67 Your Financial Budget................................................................. 68 Glossary ........................................................................................... 69

2

BASIC MANNERS Introduction Character & Life Skills should be taught from early childhood through every level in school. Grandparents no longer live next door and parents are working. Years ago, African American churches assisted parents in teaching their children proper social skills. But, we have dropped the ball! Let’s pick up the ball, take it to the classrooms, and bring it back into our churches.

I have written and self published several simple but powerful books for parents and our children. My goal is to prepare students and parents to live and work in a world that is highly technical and diverse. They will have learned the Proper Social Skills needed to interact in our diverse society. Students and their parents will have learned how to combine social skills with string educational practice.

The lessons in this guide book are designed to help you fit in anywhere. After reading this book, you will enhance the social skills you have already acquired. This book will increase your social awareness, with very simple instructions. Learning social skills is the key to being able to express acceptable behavior. Education is the key to success in life. Etiquette is basically good manners! The best etiquette is based on “The Golden Rule,” that is, treat others as you want them to treat you.

While working for many years in the San Francisco Unified School District, I found that the majority of students in public and some private schools, junior colleges, and universities lack the understanding, training, and experience of good social skills /

etiquette. This creates an insecurity and reluctance to blend with various societies. My goal is to teach students a good set of healthy values, respect for human life, and a respect for education and the ability to excel in school. I also would like to have an impact on increasing overall academic achievement; reducing the placement of students in special education classes; reducing suspensions and expulsions; reducing dropout rates for students; increasing the graduation rate and college attendance of students; increasing the rate of class attendance; increasing parent, family and community involvement and support; and increasing self-esteem and student achievement. We all like to think that we have good manners or great social skills. In reality, very few of us exercise these as a regular habit. In fact, many of us interact in society without ever having learned the proper social skills. As we deal with others in our daily lives, it is not difficult to observe that many of us ignore the most basic manners of social correctness. In order to be self-motivated and to increase confidence and self-esteem, you need to be mentally and emotionally balanced. One way to achieve this balance is by using good manners and social grace (etiquette), and you will experience success in all environments. Good manners and behavior define the caliber of who we are regardless of our income, race, degree of formal education, or career. A person with good manners shows the world who he or she is, including tastes, opinions, friends, quality of life, and self-respect.

Drevelyn Matilda Minor, Author

3

At Home

Early Childhood Development

First Teachers – Parents and Grandparents Grandparents can assist your parents with your development of great social skills. Remember, in most cases they taught your parents.

Character Building A grandparent might reinforce what your parents taught you during your early years to ensure proper behavior in your daily life.

The Golden Rule “Do unto others, as you would like others to do unto you.” Everyone is to be treated with respect and courtesy. This golden rule applies to all family members,

friends, co-workers, teachers, peers, strangers, and virtually everyone you come in contact with. The greatest attributes of social acceptance, is the ability to converse. Some important words to use in your daily life are

Please Thank you! You’re Welcome

I Apologize Good morning – Greet family members, house guests and anyone you might come in contact with at church, school, etc. Apply the same rule to the afternoon and evening. Good night -- Before going to bed say “good night,” to family members or any guest who might be visiting your home.

Hygiene Brush Your Teeth Twice a Day

Bathe or Shower regularly.

Don’t forget to say your prayers before going to bed.

4

Responsibilities at Home Sleepwear: Boys should have pajamas, a robe and slippers.

Girls should have pajamas, nightgowns, a robe and slippers. Daywear: Place your clothing out each night before you go to bed. Arrange outfits by them together. Do not place your clothing on the floor.

Laundry: Put your dirty clothes in your laundry basket or laundry bag. Wash your dirty

laundry and put away your clean clothes in drawers or on hangers

Housework: Volunteer to help your parents around the house willingly and quickly.

Closing Doors: Hold the door knob and shut it softly rather than letting it slam shut. Knock softly and ask permission before entering other family member’s bedrooms.

Yard Work: Help your parents with yard work and take out the trash daily. Meal Times: Volunteer on special occasions to help parents and grandparents prepare the meals. At other times, offer to set the table or do other things that might be needed for a family meal.

5

At School Be On Time for Your Class!

This is the first sign of good classroom manners. If you are sick and unable to attend school, have your parent or guardian contact the school secretary first thing in the morning. But if you’re late to class, enter the classroom quietly and gently close the door. Be considerate of other students and the teacher.

Student Questions in Class If you have a question,

raise your hand and wait for the teacher to call your name.

Don’t place your feet on the furniture at school or at home. Home Work Assignments Do your homework daily and turn it in on time. You can do your homework during free time at school, on the bus, in the car or at home.

If you need extra help with math, reading, science or any other subject, ask your teachers for information on after-school tutorial sites and Saturday schools. Also, ask about after-school and tutorial programs at your place of worship. Classmate Party Invitations

You must follow the school’s policy

for extending invitations. If you pass your invitations

out at school, it is polite to invite all of your classmates. (If you exclude some of your classmates, some students’ feelings might be hurt.) If you ONLY want to invite a small group from your class, (Girls Only “or” Boys Only) give them the invitations after school, or have your parents mail an invitation to their home. You can also contact them by phone to invite them.

6

Good Sportsmanship After playing a sport or a game, congratulate the other players on their playing ability and let them know that you enjoyed playing with them.

Good Sportsmanship is considered

fitting for playing or watching sports. This includes observing the

rules of fair play, respect for others, and being

gracious in losing.

Restaurant Manners Twelve Dining Tips for Parents and Children

It is never too early to start teaching good restaurant manners to children. Poorly behaved children can ruin the dining experience for other patrons, so if you bring your child to dine out, make sure they are behaving properly.

1. Use a fork unless eating finger food.

2. Do not stuff your mouth full of food because it doesn’t look good and because you could choke.

3. Chew with your mouth closed. No one should see food chewed up or to have to listen to it being chewed. This means no talking with your mouth full.

4. Eat slowly. Wait a few seconds before getting another fork full.

5. Do not reach over someone’s plate for any other item on the table. Ask someone to pass the item to you.

6. Do not make any rude comments about any food served in the restaurant. It will hurt someone’s feelings.

7. Always say “Thank You” when served something.

8. For buffet style meals – wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.

9. Break off a small piece of your

dinner roll before buttering it. 10. Do not pick anything out of

your teeth at the table. If it bothers you, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.

11. Use a napkin to “dab” your mouth. The napkin should be on your lap when not in use.

12. Do not wipe or blow your nose with your napkin.

Public Dining with Friends

Do not send a dish back unless it is

really inedible--not just because you changed your mind. When leaving the table, put your chair under the table.

7

Do not drum your fingers on the table, pick your teeth, comb your hair, or polish your nails.

Social Etiquette Celebrations

Birthdays First Communion

Bar Mitzvah

House of Worship A request to bow your head is asked of you most of the time for a moment of prayer, for an invocation, or for the benediction at a house of worship or at large gatherings. Whether or not you believe in God, bow your head and remain silent for the duration of the prayer. Religious Ceremonies

Parents, attending religious ceremonies

must understand that the ceremonies are

an important and joyful tradition for families. However, you should find other activities for children who are too young to sit comfortably, quietly and still throughout the services, thus respecting the house of worship, the clergy, and the other attendees. Public Manners Museum/Theatre/Concert

Never chew gum, do not smack, rattle gum or candy wrappers, or talk loudly while visiting or sitting next to people at the theater, at a concert, or in a house of worship. Be considerate of the performers and museum guides. Public Library

Treat books with the greatest respect. Never mark in them and always return them

on time.

8

Public Elevator

Who gets on or off an elevator first? The person who reaches the elevator first or is closest to the door – regardless of gender, enters or exits the elevator first. Good Neighbors

Welcome new neighbors to your neighborhood.

Always ask for permission before walking or playing in a neighbor’s yard

or on your neighbor’s property. Dallas Texas Citizenship

Trash the Trash - Keep your city beautiful by using the public trash can. Always place your trash in a trash can (not on city streets). Federal Buildings Hats or Caps

Men and boys should remove their hats or caps when entering all federal buildings.

Public Transportation

Keep your feet out of the public passageway, so you will not trip people. Say, “Excuse me” or “pardon me” when trying to go passed another person. Always offer your seat to elders and people with a disability. If someone near you drops something, pick it up and hand it over to him or her. Sneezing in Public

When you sneeze or cough, cover your nose and mouth

with a soft tissue or handkerchief, using your left hand. This will leave your right hand clean for hand shaking, opening doors, etc. After sneezing it is polite and appropriate to excuse yourself, just by saying, “Excuse me,” to the

person next to you

9

after coughing or sneezing in both social and professional situations. When you have a cold or the flu, you should also wash your hands often or carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer. Never spit in public!

Public Market Do not cheat in line.

If you have 14 items in your shopping cart, and the supermarket is packed, you should not race to the 10 items express lane.

National Anthem When the National Anthem is played, you must stand up and sing. Men and boys should remove their hats.

There are four verses to the anthem, but it is the first verse that is usually sung. There are also state songs for each of the fifty states as well.

National Anthem Lyrics

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight, o’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof thru the night that our flag was still there Oh, say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave? The lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner were written by Francis Scott Key, and the music by John Stafford Smith. A Congressional resolution made it the National Anthem in 1931.

Table Graces Familiar Graces

Many households observe the tradition of pausing before a meal to give thanks for the food on their table and other good things in their lives. Grace should be said first and nothing should be touched on the table beforehand not even the water glasses or the napkins. Simple Guest Grace O Lord, forgive us our sins and bless these refreshments in Christ’s name. Amen O Lord, we pray thy blessings, upon this food and upon our souls. Guide us through life and save us through Christ. Amen.

Blessing for a Christian Home In Christian homes the father or mother usually says grace, although occasionally a child is asked to say it. Family grace is said either with everyone

10

standing or with everyone seated with bowed heads.

Our Father in Heaven, for this meal you have given we want to say thank you from our hearts. Bless the ones who prepared it and Lord as we share it will you stay with us and be our guest of Honor. Amen.

Thank you, Lord, for this food which is set before us. May we use it to nourish our bodies, and thee to nourish our souls? Make us ever more mindful of the needs of others, and the needs of our planet. Through Christ Our Lord, Amen

Around this happy table may no evil ever come, let health, peace and happiness make up our daily sum.

Children’s Prayers Children treat grace as an opportunity to talk about their concerns. It gives us all a chance to show how we can communicate with God. God is great, God is good Let us thank him for our food

by his hands, we are fed Let us thank him for our bread Amen. Thank you for the world so sweet, Thank you for the food we eat, Thank you for the birds that sing, Thank you, God, for everything. Amen.

Catholic Grace

Give us grateful hearts, O Father, for all thy mercies, and make us mindful of the needs of others, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

FFoorrmmaall DDiinniinngg

Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression. Our manners

11

can speak volumes about us as professionals.

The Menu If, after looking over the dinner menu, there are items you are uncertain about, ask questions about them. It is better to find out what is in the dish before you start placing it on your plate. It could be something you do not like or to which you are allergic. Avoid spending the entire meal picking tentatively at your food.

First Person Served The host serves the guest of honor (Fe-male) first and then proceeds counter clockwise around the table.

Last Person Served She serves her husband next to last and herself last. When should children begin eating? Children eating alone with their parents should wait until their parents begin eating before picking up their soupspoon or fork.

Serving Directions Serve and remove all dishes from the “LEFT.”

Serve all beverages from the “RIGHT.”

Passing Food at the Table Food should be passed to the right, or counter clockwise. If you need something that you cannot reach easily, politely ask the person closest to the item you need to pass it to you. For example, “After you’ve used them yourself, would you please pass me the salt and pepper?” Seasoning Your Food

Do not season your food before you have

tasted it! The host /chef will be offended by your actions – especially if you have not tasted the dish.

Bread or Rolls

Eat rolls or bread by tearing off small bite size pieces and buttering only the piece you are preparing to eat. When ready for another piece, repeat the same process.

Table Conversation

Engage in table conversation that is pleasant but entirely free of controversial subjects.

Proper Table Posture

Hunching - Never HUNCH over your dinner plate! Proper posture at the table is very important. Sit up straight, with your arms held near your body. You should neither lean on the back of the chair nor bend forward to place the elbows on the table. Contrary to popular belief, elbows on the table are acceptable between courses or after everyone has finished eating. It is permissible to lean forward slightly every now and then and press the elbows very lightly against the edge of the table, if it is obvious that you are not using them for support.

12

Eating Soup Dip the spoon into the soup, moving it away from the body, until

it is about two thirds full. Sip the liquid from

the side of the spoon.

Do not slurp soup from a spoon. Spoon the soup away from you when you take it out of the bowl and sip it from the side of the spoon. If your soup is too hot, let it sit until it cools; do not blow on it. Chewing Food Do not chew your food with your mouth open or make loud noises while you are eating. Although it is possible to talk with a small piece of food in your mouth, do not talk with your mouth filled with food.

Removing Bad Tasting Food Never spit a piece of bad food or tough gristle into your napkin! Remove the food from your mouth using the same utensil you used to place it in your mouth. Place the piece of food on the edge of your plate. If possible, cover it.

Food Caught Between Teeth If food is caught between your teeth and you cannot remove it with your tongue, leave the table and go to the restroom where you can remove the food from your teeth.

Leaving the Table You should not leave the table during the meal except in an emergency! Simply excuse yourself from the table if you must go to the bathroom or if you suddenly become sick. Later you can apologize to the host by saying that you did not feel well.

Left-Handed Person If you or someone you are dining with is left-handed, it is best for the left-handed person to sit at the left end of the table or at the head of the table. This arrangement helps ensure that everyone has adequate elbow room to eat comfortably. Spilling Food off Your Plate If food spills off your plate, you may pick it up with a piece of your

silverware and place it on the edge of your plate.

Drinking Beverages

Wipe your mouth with your napkin after eating off your plate. Do not

take a sip of any beverage at the table until your mouth is empty and wiped with your napkin. You need to keep the rim of your glass or cup free from food marks.

Silverware & Napkin Etiquette

Choosing the correct silverware from the variety in front of you is not as difficult as it may first appear. Remember the rule to work from the outside in, and you will be fine. Work your way in, using one utensil for each course. Starting with the

13

knife, fork, or spoon that is farthest from your plate, if you skip the first course, skip the first fork. The salad fork is on your outermost left, followed by your dinner fork. Your soup spoon is on your outermost right, followed by your beverage spoon, salad knife and dinner knife. Your dessert spoon and fork are above your plate or brought out with dessert. Use a knife and fork to cut and eat your food. On your plate cut your food by holding the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the fork tines piercing the food. Cut a few bite-size pieces of food, and then lay your knife across the top edge of your plate with the sharp edge of the knife blade facing you. Change your fork from your left to your right hand to eat, fork tines facing up. If, you are left-handed, keep your fork in your left hand, tines facing up If a piece of your silverware falls onto the floor, pick it up if you can reach

it and simply and quietly request a clean replacement.

If you have to leave the table temporarily, place your fork over your knife in an inverted “V.” This will let the server know you are not quite finished with your meal. Once you have used a piece of silverware, never place it back on the table. Leave unused silverware on the table. Do not leave a used spoon in a cup, either; place it in the saucer. You can leave a soup spoon in a soup bowl.

Napkin Etiquette

Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded. A large dinner napkin should be folded in half after opening and before placing on your lap.

Typically, you want to put your napkin on your lap soon after sitting down at the table (but follow your host’s lead). The napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and is used gently to blot your mouth when needed. If you need to leave the table during the meal, fold your napkin and place it back to the left hand side of your plate. The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin on the table. When you leave the table at the end of the meal place your napkin loosely next to your plate. (Do not refold your napkin, but do not wad it up, either.) Do not leave your napkin on your chair.

Fine Dining

Five Restaurants The Host is the Restaurant Greeter who is in charge of the dining room.

14

The Wait Staff The waitperson will serve your meal or any selections from the menu.

Communication The more you communicate to the waitperson, the better he or she will be able to serve you. If you are displeased with the dining experience in any way, it is up to you to calmly and politely articulate that to the waitperson, host or manager so they can have an opportunity to fix the problem. If you do not say anything and just wait until the end of the meal to leave a substandard tip, the waitperson won’t know what went wrong.

Tipping Standard Tip: 15-20% of a check Increase Tip: 20-25% Waitperson went to any length to make you happy

No Tip: Only in extreme cases should a tip never be given. Poor Service: inattentive – forgetful – rude – careless.

Seven Course Meals FIRST COURSE

Appetizer If the appetizer is seafood cocktail, a small fork is placed to the right of the soup spoon. The cocktail fork will be the only fork that will ever be placed to the right of the dinner plate.

SECOND COURSE

Soup After the appetizer, comes the soup bowl, which is placed on a service plate. Once you finish your soup, the service plate, soup bowl, soupspoon and sherry glass will be removed.

THIRD COURSE

Fish Entrée A small plate replaces the service plate. The outer utensils are used. The bread plate is to the left with a butter spreader.

FOURTH COURSE

Meat A large dinner or entrée plate follows once the server has removed the fishplate, fish fork and knife. Normally, red wine is served with this course.

FIFTH COURSE Salad

15

In European dining, the salad course is served last; Americans normally serve this course after the soup. Both the salad plate and salad knife and fork are smaller than the other utensils.

SIXTH COURSE Dessert

Except for the water and champagne glass, each place setting is completely cleared away from the table. A dessert plate is normally brought to the table; the dessert spoon and fork are placed above the main place setting.

Finger Bowl Use for washing your fingertips On the other hand, dessert can be served with the finger bowl. A finger bowl comes with an under plate and doily. The bowl contains warm water with a lemon slice. Once you have washed your fingertips, the finger bowl is placed to the left. The server will remove the bowl then serve the dessert.

SEVENTH COURSE

Coffee or Tea A coffee or tea cup and saucer is brought to the table and coffee or tea is served once dessert is served.

Host Role Restaurant Dining Business Meetings

As a host, you should clarify your role.

Choose an appropriate restaurant and make

reservations. If you are confirming for a breakfast, you should do so the afternoon before lunch. If you are confirming for a dinner, you should do so that morning before the afternoon of the dinner.

Please arrive early and wait by the door for your guests. If you are seated, order water or a soft beverage, but don’t begin eating the bread. If your guests are over 15-20 minutes late, you should call and tell them that you are waiting. Wait five or ten more minutes and then decide whether you want to eat alone or leave. If you leave, you should leave a message with the restaurant host and tip the waiter. You can make menu suggestions to your guests, and if they order an appetizer or soup, do likewise. You are responsible for initiating business talk. If it is a breakfast meal, keep social conversation to a minimum. If it is a lunch meal, you can converse until orders are taken, but then get down to business. If it is a dinner meal, business may or may not be discussed. If spouses/partners are included, never talk business. Do not make a big production about the bill. It is best if you give your

16

credit card to the waitperson before the meal so that the bill never comes to the table. Always phone in advance for a reservation and be on time. If you need to cancel your reservation try to notify the restaurant within 24 hours of your cancellation. If you are running late, let the restaurant know of your late arrival. Hopefully, they will be able to fit you in. Gentlemen – it is appropriate to hold the chair and seat the woman on your right. Always speak softly when eating out and never snap your fingers at the server! When the server is ready to take your order, and you have not made a decision about what to order, ask the server to return in a few minutes. If, after looking over the menu, there are items you are uncertain about,

ask your server any questions you may have. Answering your questions is part of the server’s job. It is better to find out before you order what is in a dish. It could be something you do not like or to which you are allergic. You don’t want to spend the entire meal picking at your food. In a restaurant, women’s orders are taken before the men’s. An employer will generally suggest that your order be taken first; his or her order will be taken last. As a guest, you should not order one of the most expensive items on the menu or more than two courses unless your host indicates that it is all right. If the host says, “I’m going to try this delicious sounding cheesecake; why don’t you try dessert too,” or “The prime rib is the specialty here” I think you’d enjoy it, then it is all right to order the item if you would like it for your meal. It is best to order food that can be eaten with a fork and knife. Finger

foods can be messy and are best left for informal dining. It is inappropriate to ask for a doggy bag when you are a guest. Save the doggy bag for informal dining. Do not order alcoholic beverages. Drinking too much when dining out is one of the most disliked behaviors. Do not smoke while dining out. When leaving the table, always say excuse me to others at the table, fold your napkin neatly and place it to the left of your dinner plate.

Not Finished

If you do not want the waitperson to remove your plate from the table, place your knife and fork in an inverted “V” on your dinner plate. Place the fork over the knife with the “Prongs” pointing down.

Finish When you finish your meal place the knife and fork parallel to one another across your plate with the

17

knife blade facing inward toward you. Your knife and fork should be positioned at ten o’clock to four o’clock. Social Setting - it is always appropriate for a male to stand when a female is leaving the table. Business Setting – it is not always necessary for a male to rise whenever his female coworker(s) leave the table. Sharing Foods – Yes, it is appropriate to share when others at the table are also willing to share. However, always request additional small plates and clean utensils for dividing the shared food. When entertaining a guest for dinner or cocktails, the person who extended the invitation (regardless of gender) is responsible for the bill. Sneezing or Blowing Your Nose – Excuse yourself from the table, and do not use your napkin as a handkerchief.

Guest Role

Be on time. Call if you will be late. Allow the host to lead and never fight over the bill. Always be courteous and thank the host. Keep your briefcase and/or purse off the table. Ladies - always go to the bathroom to apply your make-up or fix your hair. Never do it at the table. Turn off your cellular phone during a business meeting. Never correct others’ manners. Ten Commandments for Business Meals

I. Thou shall not jump straight into business talk

II. Thou shall not be late III. Thou shall not table hop IV. Thou shall not talk policies,

diets, or about family V. Thou shall not dominate the

conversation

VI. Thou shall not dawdle over ordering or eating

VII. Thou shall not drink too much alcohol

VIII. Thou shall not fight over who pays the bill.

IX. Thou shall not neglect thy table manners.

X. Thou shall not forget to show appreciation

TTeeaa PPaarrttyy EEttiiqquueettttee

If the host pours your cup half full with tea – that is a sign that they wish for you to stay a while longer. A full cup of tea poured by the host indicates a wish for you to leave.

18

There are three basic types of Afternoon or Low Tea:

Cream Tea Tea, scones, jam and cream

Light Tea Tea, scones and sweets

Full Tea Tea, savories, scones, sweets and dessert

In England, the traditional time for tea was 4 or 5 o’clock and no one stayed after 7 p.m. Most tearooms today serve tea from 3 to 5 o’clock.

The menu has also changed from tea, bread, butter and cakes, to include three particular courses served specifically in this order:

Savories Tiny sandwiches or appetizers Scones served with jam

and Devonshire or Clotted Cream

Pastries Cakes, cookies, shortbread and sweets

Since it is a tea party, it is okay to eat with fingers. However, if an item is particularly messy (has a runny filling), use a fork.

If all the courses are laid out on the table, you should eat them in this order:

First: Scones or Muffins Second: Tiny Sandwiches Third: Sweets – Pastries

Think of it like a meal where you can start with bread, then have the main course, but save the dessert for last. For scones or muffins, break off a bite-size piece, then put a small amount of jam or butter on it. If Devonshire or clotted cream is available, a small amount can be dabbed on after the jam. This thick cream is for scones, not for the tea. Take bites of the tiny sandwiches. Never stuff the whole thing in your mouth, even though it is small. If using sugar, do not dip the sugar tong or sugar spoon into your teacup. (I recommend using sugar cubes.)

Stir sugar and/or milk with your teaspoon, and then place the teaspoon on your saucer. When drinking the tea, you can hold the cup and saucer near your chest then take the teacup off the saucer and bring it up to your mouth to drink. If the tea is hot, do not blow on the tea. Leave your teacup on the table to cool.

Messy Tea Bags

Hopefully, the tea will be served from the teapot, rather than having individual tea bags, which can get very messy, especially with children. When using tea bags at a tea party, always have a small dish at your place setting on which your guest can place the used tea bag.

TTeeaa CCuupp EEttiiqquueettttee

19

Pick up your cup and saucer together holding the saucer in one hand and cup in the other.

Hold the saucer under your cup while you sip your tea (so you don’t spill it or dribble).

The best way to hold a teacup is to slip your index finger through the handle, up to almost the first knuckle, then balance and secure the cup by placing your thumb on the top of the handle and allowing the bottom of the handle to rest on your middle finger.

Pinky – Finger

Do not extend your

pinky out when drinking tea. Just hold the teacup

normally.

Hold the cup lightly, by the

handle - your pinky does not have to be extended. (Contrary to popular belief, the ring and pinkie fingers should not be extended, but should rest by curving gently back toward your wrist.)

Stirring Your Tea When stirring your tea, do not make clinking noises by the sides of the cup while stirring. Gently swish the tea back and forth being careful not to touch the sides of your cup if possible. Never leave your spoon in the cup and be sure not to sip your tea from the spoon. After stirring, place your spoon quietly on the saucer, behind the cup, on the right hand side under the handle.

Milk – Not Cream

Serve milk with tea. Please do not use cream. Cream is too heavy and masks the taste of the tea. Although

some people pour their milk into the cup first, it is probably better to pour the milk in the tea after it is in the cup in order to get the correct amount.

Tea Party Menu Lemon Slices–Not Wedges

When serving lemon with tea, use lemon slices, not wedges. Provide a small fork or lemon fork for your guests or the tea server can neatly place a slice in the teacup after the tea has been poured. Be sure never to add lemon with milk since the lemon’s citric acid will cause the proteins in the milk to curdle.

Tea Party Menu (TEA SANDWICHES)

20

Chicken Curry ~Cucumber Mint ~Carrot-Ginger ~ Cucumber-Goat Cheese and Watercress ~Putting on the Ritz Egg Salad ~ Radish Poppy Seed Tea Sandwiches ~ Spring Radish Tea Sandwiches

Radish Sandwiches on Zucchini Basil

Muffins

Smoked Salmon Sandwich

on Pumpernickel.

Quick Breads & Scones

Muffins ~ Apricot and White Chocolate Scones ~ Best Blueberry Muffins ~ Cherry Scones ~ Date Drop Scones ~ Orange Poppy Seed Bread ~ Scones ~ Mincemeat Nut Bread ~ Vanilla Bean Loaves ~ Wonderful Scones ~ Zucchini Bread

Spreads & Toppings

Lavender Jelly Lemon Curd Mock Devonshire Cream

Desserts

Cake ~ Pies ~ Cookies ~ Boccone Dolce (Sweet Mouthful) ~ Cranberry Tartlet ~ English Trifle ~ Fresh Strawberries Dipped in Chocolate ~ High Tea Lemon Cookies ~ Lavender Tea Cookies Finger Foods

Artichoke To eat it, pull off a leaf, dip it, scrape the flesh from the base of the leaf with your top teeth, and discard the leaf on the plate provided for that purpose.

Asparagus

Asparagus may be eaten with the fingers as long as it is not covered with sauce. It is fine to use a fork and knife to eat asparagus.

Bread Bread must always

be broken, never cut with a knife. Tear off a

piece that is no bigger than two bites worth and eat that before tearing off another. If butter is provided, then butter the small piece and eat it.

Bacon When bacon is cooked until it is very crisp, and there is no danger of getting the fingers wet with grease, it is okay to pick it up to eat.

21

Cookies It is never necessary to try to eat the cookie that comes as a garnish to your dessert with a spoon. Unless the cookie has fallen so far into the chocolate sauce that there is not a clean corner by which to pick it up.

Corn on the Cob It is unlikely that it will be served at a formal event, but if you encounter corn on the cob, it may be picked up and eaten. The approved method of doing so is to butter one or two rows at a time and to eat across the cob cleanly. French Fries, Fried Chicken, Chips, and Hamburger These items (also classified as fast foods will not be served in a formal setting. Most are eaten with the hands, although a particularly messy hamburger could be eaten with a fork and knife. Also, steak fries (the thick-cut, less crispy variety) may be best eaten with a fork.

Hors d’Oeuvres, Crudités

Canapés, Almost everything that is served at a cocktail party or during a pre-meal cocktail hour is intended to be eaten with the fingers. Some of these foods make appearances at regular meals as well (although not usually in very formal ones). When they do, it is still permissible to use the fingers to eat them. This includes olives, pickles, nuts, deviled eggs, and chips.

Small Fruits and Berries on Stems

If you are served strawberries with the hulls, on, cherries with stems or grapes in a bunch, then it is okay to

eat them with your fingers. Otherwise, as with all berries, the utensil of choice is a spoon. In the case of grapes, you may encounter a special scissors, to cut off a small cluster from the bunch. If not, tear a portion from the whole, rather than plucking off single grapes, which leaves a cluster of unattractive bare stems on the serving platter.

Straightforward Sandwiches The straightforward sandwich is any sandwich that is not open-faced, not too tall to fit in the mouth, not saturated with dripping sauces or loaded with mushy filling. It is intended to be picked up and eaten. Otherwise, use a fork and knife.

22

1. Server Plate (will be replaced with a Dinner Plate) is placed on table allowing about two feet for each person and in the CENTER of the space 2. Soup Bowl Placed in the CENTER 3. Salad Plate to the LEFT of the dinner plate just above the NAPKIN and SALAD FORK 4. Dinner Roll Plate and Butter Spreader (on top of the bread plate) – Place just above the DINNER PLATE, a little to the left 5. Place napkin to the LEFT side of the SALAD FORK with the INSIDE FOLD facing the DINNER PLATE 6. Salad Fork is placed on the LEFT HAND side of the Dinner Plate

7. Dinner Fork is placed to the LEFT side of the DINNER PLATE 8. Dinner Knife Placed at the RIGHT of the DINNER PLATE 9. Beverage Spoon Placed on the right hand side to the RIGHT of the DINNER KNIFE 10. Soup Spoon Placed at the RIGHT of the DINNER SPOON (If serving soup) 11. Beverage Glasses (Water) Placed to the RIGHT hand side starting at the TIP of the KNIFE. 12. Beverage Glasses (Milk or Juice) Placed to the RIGHT hand side of the WATER GLASS

Basic Table Setting

23

Formal Dining

Rules: In a formal place setting, the first two rules to remember are:

1) Solids are to the LEFT (Yes, your bread plate to the left)

2) Liquids to the RIGHT

Utensils are placed in the order used. You always work from the “outside in” as the meal progresses. Beverage Glasses Formal meals normally have a minimum of five glasses at the table. Each glass is slightly different in shape and size.

This is fairly easy to master. Your waiter will fill the glasses in the correct order. When each course is finished, allow the server to remove the glass for that course as well as the plate.

Beverage Glasses Positions (minimum of five glasses)

Sherry or Aperitif Glass The glass farthest to the right may be a sherry or aperitif glass, if one is served to accompany the soup course. This will be the first glass you use.

White Wine Glass Next is the white wine glass, which is used during the fish course or appetizer. Red Wine Glass Behind the white wine glass is the red wine glass. This glass is larger, with a fuller bowl that allows the red wine to “breathe.” Water Goblet The largest glass is the water goblet, which sits just above the dinner knife. Champagne Glass Finally, behind and to the right of the water goblet is the champagne glass, if champagne will accompany dessert. You may also find a champagne glass in the first position, perhaps served with oysters as an appetizer.

24

1) Server Plate ( Replaced with a Dinner Plate) 2) Soup Bowl 3) Salad Plate 4) Bread & Butter Plate 5) Napkin 6) Fish Fork 7) Salad Fork 8) Dinner Fork 9) Dinner Knife 10) Fish Knife 11) Beverage Spoon 12) Soup Spoon

13) Small Cocktail Fork- placed to the right of the soup spoon. (This cocktail fork will be the ONLY fork that will ever be to the right.) 14) Dessert Spoon & Fork 15) Water Goblet 16) Champagne Glass 17) Red Wine Goblet 18) White Wine Goblet 19) Sherry Glass 20) Coffee or Tea Setting (Placed on the table at end of meal, often with the desserts.)

Formal Dining Table Setting

25

Healthy Eating Physical Fitness

Breakfast Brain Power (10) Tips Research has shown that eating a nutritious breakfast that includes grain or protein and fruit or juice helps to improve students’ test scores, behavior and well-being.

1. Start with Breakfast (Daily)

Breakfast fills your “empty tank” to get you going after a long night without food. Eating a good breakfast can help you do better in school. Easy to prepare breakfasts include cold cereal with fruit and low-fat milk, whole- wheat toast with peanut butter, yogurt with fruit, whole-grain waffles or even last night’s pizza.

2. Exercise Regularly

Work up a good sweat. When you are breathing hard and sweating, it helps your

heart pump better, gives you more energy, and helps you look and feel your best. Start with a warm-up that stretches your muscles.

Include 20 minutes of aerobic activity, such as running, jogging or dancing. Follow-up with activities that help make you stronger such as push-ups or lifting weights. Then cool-down with more stretching.

3. Get Moving!

It is easy to fit physical activities into your daily routine. Try to fit physical activities into your daily routine – take the

stairs instead of the escalator or elevator. Try to do these things for a total of 30 minutes every day.

4. Snack Smart

Snacks are a great way to refuel. Choose snacks from different food groups – have a glass of low-fat milk and a few celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins, or some dry cereal. If you eat smart at other meals, cookies, chips, and candy are okay for occasional snacking.

5. Grains, Fruits, and Vegetables.

Energy Foods –Eating more grains, fruits and vegetable gives you carbohydrates for energy plus vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Besides, they taste good! Try breads such as whole-wheat bread, bagels, and pita. Spaghetti and oatmeal are also in the grain group.

26

6. Balance Your Food Choices

Do not eat too much of one thing. You do not have to give up foods like hamburgers, French fries, and ice cream to eat healthfully. Your body needs protein, carbohydrates, fat, and many different vitamins and minerals such as Vitamins C and A, iron, and calcium from a variety of foods.

7. Healthy Eating Style

A healthy eating style is like a puzzle with many parts. Each part, or food, is different. Some foods may have more fat, sugar or salt, while others may have more vitamins or fiber. There is a place for all these foods. What makes a diet good or bad is how foods fit together.

Balancing your choices is important. At dinner choose lower fat foods. Fit in a higher fat food like a meat pizza in moderation. If two pieces of pizza fill you up, do not eat a third.

8. Exercise with Family or Friends Being active is more fun with family or friends. Invite others to join you and plan one special physical activity like a bike ride or hiking, with a group each week.

9. School Physical Activities Join in. Whether you take a physical education class or do other physical activities at school, such as intramural sports, structured activities are a sure way to feel good, look good and stay physically fit.

10. Fun Physical Activities

Take advantage of physical activities you and your friends enjoy doing together. Be adventurous. Try new sports, games, and other activities as well as new foods. You will grow stronger, play longer, and look and feel better! Set realistic goals – don’t try changing too much at once.

How to Eat To Live Six (6) Nutrient Groups Group One (1) - Water Water transports other nutrients to cells, carries wastes away, aids digestion and more. It makes up more than half your bodyweight. SOURCES: water ~ juices and other beverages, soups and many “solid” foods (fruits, vegetables, breads, etc.)

Group Two (2) – Minerals Build bones, teeth, blood, and help the body use energy. Especially important to young people:

Group (3) Three - Calcium

Calcium is found in milk, cheese and other dairy products, and also in some green vegetables.

Group Four (4) Proteins

Proteins build and

27

repair cells, fight infection, and make your blood strong. Found in meat, poultry and shellfish, dried beans and peas, dark green leafy vegetables (spinach, etc.), and dried fruits.

COMPLEX PROTEIN SOURCES

Fish, meat, chicken, eggs, milk, and soybeans COMPLETE PROTEIN SOURCES Dried beans, lentils and peas, nuts, breads, noodles, grains and cereals VITAMINS help the body use food and work properly. ESPECIALLY GOOD SOURCES: Carrots, spinach, broccoli, green peppers, leaf lettuce, cantaloupe, citrus fruits, tomatoes, potatoes, whole and enriched grains, milk products, fish, meat, and poultry.

Group Five (5) - Carbohydrates Provide energy

(calories) for muscles, nerves, and the brain.

Complex carbohydrate foods provide calories and other nutrients. (They are also sources of fiber, essential for digestion and the prevention of some diseases.) Simple carbohydrates provide calories, but not much else. COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATES: These include breads, noodles, grains, cereals, potatoes, nuts, seeds, dried beans, lentils and peas, vegetable, and some fruits. SIMPLE CARBOHYDRATES: These include table sugar, powdered sugar, brown sugar and “natural” sugars in honey, corn, and some fruits Group Six (6) – Fats

Provide energy and fatty acids, helps digestion. Too much fat can be harmful. SOURCES: Vegetable

oils, margarine, butter (and food fried in them), whole milk, cream, most cheeses, meats, poultry (especially with skin), eggs, chocolate, avocados, peanut butter and nuts.

Note: A good source of a vitamin or mineral contributes at least 10 percent of its Percent Daily Value per serving. A good source of dietary fiber contributes at least 2 grams of dietary fiber per serving.

Good Sources of Vitamin A

Apricots Broccoli Cantaloupe Carrots Collards Eggplant Kale Mango Pumpkin Spinach Squash, winter Sweet potato Tomato Turnip greens Watermelon

Good Sources of Dietary Fiber

28

Apple & Pears with skin Apricot, dried Banana Dry Beans Lima Beans Black-eyed peas Broccoli Carrots Lentils Orange Green Peas Split Peas Potato with skin Prunes Spinach Winter Squash Strawberries Sweet potato Tomato

Remember: You have to burn 3500 calories to lose one pound of fat.

Good Sources of Potassium

Apricots, dried Dry Beans Black-eyed peas Cantaloupe Grapefruit juice Honeydew melon Lentils Orange juice Green Peas Split Peas Plantains Potato Potato with skin Prune juice Cooked Spinach Winter Squash Sweet potato Tomato Banana Good Sources of Foliate

Beans, dry

Black-eyed peas Lentils Mustard greens Orange Orange juice Green Peas Split Peas Spinach Turnip greens

Fun Food Facts

Did You Know? Fast Food Isn’t New! The remains of fast foods shops have been found in ancient ruins! Even ancient Greeks enjoyed take-out. The only thing that is new is the mass production, standard menus and recipes of fast-food “chains.” Wow!

Other Interesting Food Facts

Lemons

Lemons contain more

29

sugar than strawberries.

Snails

In France, people eat approximately 700 million snails per year.

Onion The onion is named after a Latin word meaning large pearl of rice. Half of the world’s population lives

on a diet staple of rice.

First Breakfast Cereal The first mass produced breakfast cereal was corn flakes.

Instant Coffee

Instant coffee has been in existence since the

middle of the 18th century. Salt

The word salary comes from the

Latin word salarium. Salt was used in ancient times to pay for work done. Today, salt (a form of sodium) is so prevalent in packaged foods that it is far too easy to eat too much salt. Watch your daily sodium intake and read labels.

Frozen Fruits and Vegetables Sometimes frozen fruits and vegetables are more nutritious than fresh.

The longer that fruits or vegetables sit around waiting to be sold or eaten, the more nutrients they lose. Fruits and vegetables grown for freezing are usually frozen right after they are picked, and have less time to lose their nutrients.

Chop suey

The most likely of various tales about the origin of chop suey is that it was created by Chinese immigrants in California.

Appetite

Temperature can affect your appetite. You are

more likely to be hungry if you are cold!

Tomato Have A Tomato With Your Burger! When a source of Vitamin C (orange, lemon, grapefruit, strawberry, tomato, etc) is eaten with

meat or cooked dry beans, the body makes better use of the iron in

the protein food.

30

Milk Within two (2) hours of standing in daylight, milk loses between half and two-thirds of its vitamin B content.

Baker’s Dozen

Bakers used to be fined if their loaves of bread were under weight, so they used to add an

extra loaf of bread to every dozen, just in

case – hence, the expression “baker’s dozen”

Fish with Lemon It has been traditional to serve fish with lemon since the Middle Ages. People believed that the fruit’s juice from the lemon would dissolve any bones accidentally swallowed.

Telephone Etiquette

Home Phone

Be considerate of the family telephone – others might wish to use the phone.

In a friendly voice, answer by saying hello, good morning, or good afternoon. If the caller wishes to speak to you, answer, “This is he/she” or “This is James.” If the call is for another person and he/she is nearby, say to the caller, “One moment please.”

Your Neighbor’s Phone If answering the telephone at someone else’s home, simply say, “Hello, Jackson residence.”

Taking a Message

Listen Carefully If the person is not home, listen carefully to what the caller says and take a message. Keep a pad and pencils on your desk at all times for writing down messages. 1. Ask the caller his/her name. If

you do not know the correct spelling of the caller’s name, ask the caller to spell his/her name.

2. Ask for their phone number. 3. Write down the message that the

caller would like to leave.

Leaving Voice Messages at Home In a clear voice repeat your name and telephone number, and a short message that is to the point. Repeat your phone number slowly.

31

Gum Chewing and Talking Do not chew or crack your gum when speaking on the phone or speaking to others in person

Talking During Mealtime Never answer the phone or talk to another person on the phone while eating.

Business Calls

Please keep business calls professional or businesslike.

Receiving Business Calls Pick up the phone and answer with a very clear voice. Identify your company name and yourself. For example: “Nia’s Enchanted Hair Boutique & Beauty Spa, Nia speaking; how may I assist you?”

If you are talking to a caller and the second line rings, apologize to the first caller and ask them if they would please hold. Answer the second caller, get the caller’s name, phone number, and tell them you are on a call and will call them back as soon as you finish. Return to the first caller thanking the caller for being patient and finish the business conversation. Call the second caller promptly after you have completed the first call, just as you had promised. Business Messages

Business messages always leave your company’s name, your name,

your company’s phone number and the message.

Office Answering Machine If your company uses an answering machine or voice mail, please check your messages as soon as you return to your desk. Disconnected Calls at Work and Home – Who Calls Back? The person who originated/initiated the call is responsible for calling back the other party

Keeping Phone Records Keep a record of all calls that comes into the office. Use a phone message pad or phone log that indicates who called, the caller’s phone number, and date and time of the call. You can also log the message in the computer and save to retrieve when needed.

Cell Phone Etiquette

Social Settings

32

Always use discretion when using a cellular phone in a social environment. It is best to refrain from placing cell phone calls during social events. Only answer incoming calls after excusing yourself from the immediate area and remember to speak softly.

Cell Phone Pictures Never take anyone’s picture with your cell phone without his or her permission. Taking someone’s picture and publishing it without their permission is violating the law.

Talking and Texting While Driving a Car Talking and texting on your cell phone can be hazardous to you, your passengers and other drivers. As of 2010, a ban on driving while talking on a hand-held cell phone is in place in 7 states (California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Utah, and Washington) and the District of Columbia). The use of all cell phones while driving a school bus is prohibited in 17 states and the District of Columbia (DC). The use of all cell phones by novice

drivers is restricted in 21 states and DC.

Text messaging is banned for all drivers in 19 states and DC. Even if you use a hands-free headset, you are still distracted by trying to have a conversation while driving. Pull off the road if you have to answer or place a call. Never TEXT while driving.

Standing in line

It is not polite to talk on your cell phone while standing in line at a place of business such as in a bank, deli, department store, airport, restaurant, and other public places.

When you arrive face to face with the clerk or associate do not continue talking on your cell phone. Your actions in most cases will be upsetting to the others in line behind you and the staff person waiting to serve you. Stay focused on why you are there and what business you need to complete.

Email Etiquette

Important Email Etiquette Tips:

1. Be concise and to the point. Avoid long sentences.

2. Answer all questions and

33

pre-empt further questions. 3. Use proper spelling,

grammar & punctuation. (Spell Check)

4. Use templates for frequently used responses.

5. Answer promptly. 6. Do not attach unnecessary

files. 7. Use proper structure &

layout. 8. Do not overuse the high

priority option. 9. Do not write in CAPITAL

LETTERS. It equals shouting. 10. Do not leave out the

message thread. 11. Add disclaimers to your

emails. 12. Read the email before

you send it. 13. Do not overuse Reply to

All 14. Don’t overuse

abbreviations and emoticons. 15. Take care with rich text

and HTML messages. 16. Do not forward chain

letters or Internet hoaxes. 17. Do not copy a message

or attachment without permission.

18. Do not use emails to discuss confidential information.

19. Use a meaningful subject.

20. Avoid using URGENT and IMPORTANT.

21. Do not send or forward emails containing defamatory, offensive, racist or obscene remarks.

22. Do not reply to spam. 23. Use cc: field sparingly. 24. Do not make an email

longer than it needs to be. 25. Don’t assume that no

one else will read the email.

Why is email etiquette important?

A company needs to implement etiquette rules for the following three reasons:

1) Professionalism: By using proper email language your company will convey a professional image.

2) Efficiency: Emails that get to the point are much more effective than poorly worded emails.

3) Protection from liability: Employee awareness of email risks will protect your company from costly lawsuits.

Educational Tips

34

Reading Reading is essential in the educational process. It is the gateway to the liberal arts and to seeking knowledge, to learning about the past, to understanding the present, to being able to see what others are writing about the future. Mathematics Mathematics is the gateway to the sciences. You cannot understand chemistry, physics, or logic, unless you have a background in mathematics. In an increasingly technological world, the mathematics skills of the Nation’s workers are a crucial component of economic competitiveness. Parent Involvement and School Partnerships Much research supports the view that involvement by parents, guardians or other caregivers in a child’s’ education has a positive impact on student achievement. Parental involvement is crucial.

Parents/Guardians/Caregivers

The first step to higher achievement is to believe that one can achieve. Parents should instill a belief system in their children that they can achieve at a higher academic level. Research has shown that expectations have a substantial impact on academic achievement. Children should be given a list of non-negotiable rules. Teach children to respect others and adhere to the dress code for school and work. Children with a strong work ethic and high self-esteem can achieve whatever they want to achieve. Each person is the sum total of his/her life experiences. Music influences young people so listen to what they listen. Begin talking to them at an early age about going to college and take them on college tours when the time comes. Computer Skills

Make sure that your children

develop basic computer skills, so they can become Internet literate. Support the superintendent and the board of education in setting and pursuing high educational standards.

YYoouurr CChhiilldd’’ss SScchhooooll SSeelleeccttiioonn TTiippss The best way to learn about schools is to visit them. emember, schools do not accept unscheduled visitors. Make a list of schools that you might want to visit. The list will not tell you

35

which schools are good or bad. It is just a tool to help you determine your own priorities and to evaluate whether a school meets your child’s needs.

• Find out which school is your neighborhood school.

• Visit your assigned school no matter what you have heard about it. You owe it to yourself and the school to visit. It has become commonplace to blame schools for children who fail. Many of the “failing” schools are the places where teachers work the hardest, against the most difficult social problems, and deserve the most respect.

• Talk to your friends and neighbors to get their ideas.

• Talk to your child’s current teacher for ideas.

• Research programs and test scores with independent materials that compare schools.

• Rank your choices before you tour. Begin with your assigned

school and visit schools in reverse order of your priorities, from your least to most favorite.

• After you have toured, go back over the checklist and identify any major areas of concern. Talk with students and their parents at your top choices to get their input.

• Attend a PTA meeting or request the name of an active parent in the school who can answer your questions.

• How are students expected to learn? Example: Do students work independently at their own desk or in groups?

• How is the curriculum planned?

• Are teachers and parents included in school-wide planning about the curriculum?

• Is the work challenging? • If the work is over their head,

how do they get extra help and when?

• How are students with greater abilities challenged in the classroom?

• Does the content in the class

seem appropriate for the grade level?

• How many students are receiving college credits?

• What advanced placement courses are offered?

• What college guidance is offered?

• What exposure to the work world is provided?

• Do student receive help finding summer jobs or placement following graduation?

Essential Characteristics School Principal – Successful schools have motivated principals who have the necessary personnel and resources, and have created partnerships. Principals should visit every teacher’s classroom. They should walk the halls a lot and know their school and its students. Cultural Factors

36

Schools are now a blend of many different cultures. This demands that today’s teachers be equipped and confident to teach in a diverse classroom. Classroom Climate The climate determines behavior of students in the classroom, for example, the extent to which teachers and principals believes that youth can achieve. The teaching environment should be exciting, creative, have lots of bright student artwork displayed. A warm teaching environment gives students a sense of safety, security and comfort. Impressive Teachers

Look for teachers who impress students in the same way you would impress a visitor to your home. Teachers should make them feel welcome in the classroom. Children are happy to return to a class that has a welcoming environment. Well-Trained Teachers

A well-trained teacher believes all children can learn. He/she motivates everyone to set

high standards and continues to strive for the best from students. Teachers should provide clear expectations to students and parents. Make sure teachers know their subject matter in depth. Look for teachers who have knowledge of

their content areas. They will bring high expectations to the classroom, and make a connection between home and school. Always check out the school’s yearly report card. You can do this online or by getting a copy from the school’s secretary. Support Structures Schools must have support structures in place to facilitate academic achievement. The school must provide a support structure to help students stay in school (middle and high school).

University/College

High Expectations and Enrollment Tips

37

Education is a constructive, driving force for positive change. Without a good education, the chance for individuals to do well in society is not very good. Children who are not prepared for work or prepared to attend college, will face very competitive, difficult and stressful times. This is the battle for their ability to live independently. Children who have been poorly educated will most likely also be economically poor. As parents we must challenge our children to achieve at a high and competitive level. We have no choice but to give the best to our children in terms of instruction, and, in return, we must expect the best from them.

College Selection Do not select a university or college based on tuition and fees. Parents and students often forget that almost

all educational institutions have grants and scholarships available. Do not think you cannot go to the university or college of your desire. Financial aid is sometimes available.

University or College Application

Apply to as many schools as possible that offer the desired major.

Admissions Clerk Never answer your cell phone in front of the admissions clerk – it could make a difference in whether you are accepted to that university or college. Counselors Make friends with your guidance counselor. The dean and other staff

members will call this person first for any information on you.

Parent Message Set high achievement goals for yourself and your children. Research has shown that most first-year students will change their major three (3) times before they get it right. Our children are our most valuable resource and we must help them to achieve.

38

Fashion Tips for Women

Fashion & Accessory Tips

This style guide is for general fashion tips and advice. Check out the current trends to get the latest fashion tips and tricks for the newest

styles.

Choosing Your Style Sharpen your fashion skills with these practical tips to flatter your figure and make your clothes work for you. The styles you choose will affect your appearance and how you’re perceived.

Overcoming “Flaws” Every woman has flaws. These ideas are for those who accept them, but wish to minimize them.

1. Stand up straight, have good posture and carry yourself with grace. Not only will you appear taller, you will radiate self confidence.

2. Know your body and what looks good.

3. You are logically attracted to styles and colors that flatter your figure.

4. Use past experience to your advantage and trust your intuition; sometimes fashion and beauty etiquette comes naturally.

5. Feel free to experiment!

Boutique “Skinny Mirrors”

Beware of those “skinny” mirrors in boutiques and department

stores that are misleading. If a

39

style didn’t look good on you in the past, it won’t now—unless you’ve made some major changes.

Neutral Colors Have plenty of neutrals on hand to mix and match.

Open collar shirts and scoop necks will lengthen a short neck. Add a long necklace.

Know what looks good on you!

Tailored Clothing Tailored clothes flatter most women’s figures.

Purchase Similar Styles

Buy styles similar to the clothes you already own that

you think flatter your figure.

Safety Pin

Always carry a safety pin in your purse for emergencies.

Shoulder pads: will help you balance large breasts and wide hips, but keep them slim. Shoes: Break in your shoes before wearing for an entire day or special occasion. Sticky Zippers Fix sticky zippers by rubbing them with some wax or a bar of soap.

Clean Clothing

Always clean your clothes before storing them away.

Thrift Stores If you are losing or gaining weight, go to your local thrift store and get some in-between sizes that fit.

Pantyhose Make sure your pantyhose fit correctly. Tugging on them in public is a no-no. New Styles Do not be afraid to try anything new.

Do not bare all. Leave some mystery to your look.

Loose Buttons Secure your buttons by dabbing the backs of them with fingernail polish or clear glue. This prevents the stitching from coming loose.

Clingy Clothing If you are concerned about clingy clothing, do not buy anything with more than 5% Lycra.

Static Cling Use dryer sheets or fabric spray to reduce static cling.

Leather Clothing Leather has a tendency to stretch, so buy your pants one size smaller.

Department Store

40

If a department store does not have your size, ask your sales associate to contact another store. Many stores are set up to call their other stores to locate and ship the desired size directly to you.

Designer Fashions Do not fret if you see an outfit in a magazine that is too pricey for your budget. You can probably put together the same outfit at stores

such as the Macy, Gap , Old Navy, Chico’s, Dillard and Nordstrom at a fraction of the price. Just cut out the picture and take it shopping with you. Perfume Apply your perfume before dressing to prevent staining your clothing. Apply your perfume lightly.

Hats

Men and women know what a lift a new hat can give. But if the hat is wrong, it

can ruin the whole outfit. Choose

a hat that is suitable for your outfit

Choose a hat according to your figure. Do not wear a small hat on your head, if you are a full figured person. (It will make you look out of proportion.)

Always match your hat in size according to your figure, color and design with your outfit you are planning to wear. (See the illustration on the next page.)

Try your hat on in a full-length mirror with your outfit to see if the entire ensemble is in balance.

Your hat style determines the occasion and the outfit with which it should be worn.

Glamorous Hats

Ladies wearing dressy suits or dresses should have a more glamorous hat – such as, velvet, soft satin, flowers, or feathers, but simple in design.

Berets

Ladies casual tweed suits look best with a tailored cloche or simple beret.

41

Right Hat for Your Figure “Short Stocky Figure” A A short stocky figure with a short neck and a large bosom looks even shorter, because, top heavy under a large, wide hat (a)

Wrong

Right

On Figure (a), the hat is scaled down in width and is much higher to give a taller, slimmer look. It sets higher on the head, which is more flattering to the short-necked figure.

Right Hat for Your Outfit “Hat Sizes & Outfits” B Hat size applies to outfit as well as figure. This coat with a large, high collar has all of the weight at the top of the figure when a big hat is put over it (b).

Wrong

Right The smaller hat, on figure (b) gives a clean, more balanced look to the coat with the higher collar.

Right Hat for Your Figure “Slim Figure” C A too-small hat used with a sleek, slim dress like this gives a bare, unfinished look to the outfit (b)

42

Wrong

Right The larger hat, worn with the scoop necked sheath, takes away the bare look of the head and neck and gives a better balance to the figure ©.

Purse Tips Your purses do not have to be expensive to look smart. Choose a purse suitable to the occasion. A small woman looks overburdened with a too-large purse/handbag. A large woman looks out of proportion with a very small purse/handbag.

Handbags and Currency Organizers Coin Purse and Billfold – are used to keep your purse from becoming messy – never open a messy purse in front of

others. It could question your organizational skills.

Casual and Dressy Attire

43

Over-the-shoulder purses belong with a casual outfit

Dressy – A dressy purse of suede or fabric is out of place with a sweater and skirt. Usually, a dressy bag is smaller than the one generally used for every day.

Suitable Accessories -- Colors

Jewelry – Neutral Colors

Neutral black can safely be used for all accessories. Other neutral colors that can also be used more freely are

gray, brown, taupe and navy. Often, two neutrals can be used, with a third color to brighten the whole outfit. Shades of a bright accessory color can also be used in the same ensemble without overdoing the color. Shoes: Shoes and purses in most cases are of the same color.

Gloves and Hats are of the same color.

44

Professional Attire

Suits Suit pieces should be same color Skirt suits or pants suits are acceptable; 100 % wool or wool blend in dark grey or blue solids or muted pinstripes. Skirt-suits are still considered more appropriate by conservative employers. Skirt length should be no shorter than 1” above knee. Wear the skirt to practice sitting in it.

Does it ride up? Then buy a longer one! Tight Skirts Wear only conservative outfits in an office or religious environment. Do not wear tight skirts or tight pants. Shirts Shirts should be of cotton, wool, polyester, cashmere, or silk blends in conservative colors. Short or long sleeves with a jewel (rounded) neckline. Blouse or shell - Press shirt/blouse carefully, particularly the collar No visible cleavage

Shoes Recommended shoe colors are black, burgundy or brown leather. Pumps or flats with a 1-2” heel; no spikes.

Hosiery Neutral or skin tone Bring an extra pair for emergencies. Tights are not as dressy as sheer hosiery.

Business Casual Attire for Women Jacket & Pants, Skirt or Dress

Jacket and pants or skirt do not need to be the same color.

45

Knit Tops of cotton, wool, cashmere or silk blends; short or long sleeve; sweater sets. No

visible cleavage

Woven Tops of 100% cotton or cotton/polyester blends. Any muted conservative solid, stripe, or plaid. Button-down, straight collar and long sleeves are best.

Tights and Socks Colored tights or socks are appropriate for casual wear and should complement your outfit.

Casual Shoes

Black, burgundy or brown leather pumps or flats with 1-2” heel; no spikes. Polish and clean shoes (don’t wear outside, particularly if raining

or snowing)

Final Mirror Check Remember to do a final mirror check before leaving. Unacceptable Office Attire

However, this attire maybe very appropriative for other job environments.

Simple Accessories Watches and Rings should be simple. Please one ring only.

Earrings For the office, wear simple earrings. Do not wear long dangle earrings and only one earring per ear.

Writing Instruments Invest in a Mont Blanc pen

or any other handsome writing instrument that you can afford.

Briefcase:

Purchase a nice leather briefcase if needed for your job.

Scarves Scarves or long necklaces blouses are generally not recommended attire.

46

Eyewear: Make sure that your eyewear is simple and clean. Select fashionable eyewear that will complement your face.

Undergarments should fit properly and be 100% non-visible

Tattoos are not an accessory – Cover all visible tattoos.

Gum is not an accessory.

Personal Grooming

Brush Teeth

Bath or Shower Personal Facial ~ Use a daily facial

cleanser and a moisturizer for your face.

Makeup should be minimal! Use muted, conservative colors. Learn the correct way to apply your make up. Visit a salon or the makeup

counter at your local department store for advice and a personal demonstration.

Hair looks best pulled back from your face, so as not to be a distraction. It is also best to have a fresh haircut combed

and styled, but not over-gelled. Nails ~ Clean and trim fingernails; no long nails and no color polish! Clear nail polish is best.

47

Colognes ~ Do not over use cologne.

Business Attire for Men

A man’s suit should be100% wool or wool blend and a conservative fit. Button the jacket when standing; unbutton when seated. Suit jacket and pants should be the same color, preferably in dark grey, blue or black solids or pinstripes.

Shirts Your shirt should be 100% cotton or cotton/polyester blend. Shirts of broadcloth or pinpoint oxford are best. The most common shirt to wear is white or a conservative color.

Press Shirt Make sure you press your shirt carefully, particularly the collar. Do it yourself or

spend the money on dry cleaning. Most commonly worn under the shirt

is a plain white crewneck t-shirt.

Cuffs and Cufflinks

Cuffs should extend ¼” beyond jacket sleeve. Taped or regular fit (not full-cut)

Ties 100% Silk Most commonly worn tie width is approximately the same as jacket lapels (2 ¾” – 3 ½”). The tie color should complement suit. No logo or cartoon ties. Belts and Shoe Colors The belt should match the shoe color. Best colors are black, burgundy, and brown. Wear leather, dark colored shoes that lace up and that complement

48

your suit. Make sure your shoes are polished and clean.

Wear lightweight business socks in dark colors that complement your suit.

Business Casual Attire for Men Jacket and Woven Shirts A nice pullover shirt can also be worn. A sweater vest or long sleeve sweater can be worn over a shirt with a collar.

Shirt: The most commonly worn shirts are100% cotton or a

cotton/polyester blend in any muted, conservative solid, stripe, or plaid. The most popular shirts worn are button-down or straight collar with long sleeves.

Knit Shirts Cotton, wool, polyester or cashmere

blends. Must have collar (no crew neck), short or long sleeves. Casual Jacket and Pants A jacket is not necessary for casual business attire. Jacket and pants do not need to be same color.

Pants: Nice wool blend pressed cotton pants are okay. Check for proper rise fit and inseam. Ties are not necessary for casual dress. Belt should match shoe color.

Shoes Wear dark leather slip on or lace-up. Make sure your shoes are polished and clean. Socks: Wear dark colored socks that complement both your pants and shoes. A belt should be worn around the waist-- no sagging pants. Secure your belt around your waist and through the pant loops

Underwear should fit properly and be 100% non-visible. Unacceptable Office Attire

49

However, this attire maybe very acceptable for other job environments.

Men Accessories Watches A simple watch is okay. Match your watch color with belt buckle color. A tie tack is not necessary.

Wallet / Billfold You should have a nice leather wallet and never over stuff it. An

over-stuffed wallet will not have a neat appearance in your suit pants.

No fat wallets! Writing Instruments: Invest in a Mont Blanc pen or any other handsome writing instrument that you can afford.

Briefcase: Purchase a nice leather briefcase if needed for the job.

Rings Wear your wedding band or one simple ring

Earring and Other Rings The night before an interview, seriously consider removing any nose rings or other rings on your body that are visible.

Tattoos Cover all visible tattoos.

Coffee and Newspaper

Do not have a cup of coffee or read a newspaper at your interview. Remember, this is not a social occasion.

50

Gum is not an accessory – please do not chew gum in public.

Mirror

Do one final check in the mirror!

Personal Grooming

Facial Hair No facial hair is best for conservative companies. At minimum, trim neatly and close to face. Cologne and After Shave Lotion

After shave lotion and cologne should be applied sparingly. Fragrances are often offensive to business associates and therefore inappropriate in a professional venue.

Hair Cuts

Consider cutting long hair. it is also best to have a fresh haircut trimmed neatly and

close to your face. Have it combed and styled, but not over-gelled.

Shampoo Hair Remember, to shampoo your hair after a haircut. Brush and comb your hair in a neat style.

Finger Nails Clean and trim finger nails.

51

Brush Teeth and Floss

Shower Daily Use soap and deodorant

Shoes ~Keep your shoes clean and polished at all times

Employment

RReessuumméé WWrriittiinngg TTiippss

DDOO .. .. .. Make certain your resumé is concise, well spaced and visually attractive. Use action words to describe your experiences (see list of power words). Quantify your experiences wherever possible. Be consistent in your use of dates, numbers, abbreviations, etc. Check and recheck for errors; look closely for mistakes in grammar,

punctuation, and spelling. Have someone else critique and proofread your résumé. Select quality bond paper for your final copies. Use white, ivory, cream, beige, buff, or light grey paper. Use a letter-quality or laser printer and black type. Fold and mail your résumé in a matching envelope or mail it flat in a 9” x 12” white or manila envelope.

DDOO NNOOTT .. .. .. Type the word “Résumé” above your name. Use abbreviations or contractions. Write lengthy prose. Use multiple fonts, typographic symbols or other visual elements.

Use personal pronouns (I, we, my). Include a photograph.

Mention personal data (e.g., height, weight, health, age or date of birth,

52

marital status, race, religion, sex, etc.)

POWER WORDS

Key for Your Resume Here are a few of power words that you can include on a resume. Accomplished Led Achieved Managed

Advised Persuaded Communicated Planned Conducted Recommended Designed Reconciled Developed Reduced Directed Sold Doubled Supervised Edited Taught Evaluated Wrote Hired Improved Increased Installed Interviewed

Basic Resumé Format [Type your name] [Type Your Phone Number] [Type Your Address] [Type Your E-Mail Address] [Type Your Web Site]

Objectives [Type the Objectives]

Education [Type the Year] – [Type the Degree] List of Accomplishments

Experience [Type the start date] – [Type the end date] – [Type the job title] [Type job responsibilities]

Skills [Type list of skills]

Basic Cover Letter Format [Your name] [Street address] [City, St, Zip Code] [Date]

53

[Recipient Name] [Title] [Company Name] [Street address] [City, St, Zip Code]

Dear [Recipient name] We spoke on Monday. As promised, I am enclosing a copy of my resume. I am also enclosing copies of:

• _________________________________________________________________________________

If you have any questions, please call me at (999) 999-9999. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

[Your name] Enclosure

Sample Job Application Form

Print, then practice filling out this job application form and use it as a guide when completing applications for employment.

Instructions: Print clearly in black or blue ink. Answer all questions. Sign and date the form.

PERSONAL INFORMATION:

Full Name __________________________________________________________

Social Security Number_______________________________________________

Street Address: City, State, Zip Code __________________________________

Phone Numbers: Home ___________Cell ___________ Other ______________

54

E-mail: _____________________________________________________________

Are you eligible to work in the United States? Yes ____ No____

If you are under age 18, do you have an employment/age certificates?

Yes _______ No_______

Have you been convicted of or pleaded no contest to a felony within the last five years? Yes_______ No_______

If yes, please explain: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

POSITION/AVAILABILITY:

Position Applied For: _________________________________________________

Days/Hours Available: Monday __ Tuesday __ Wednesday__

Thursday __ Friday __ Saturday __ Sunday __

Hours Available: from _______to _____

What date are you available to start work? _____________________________

EDUCATION:

Name and Address of School - Degree/Diploma - Graduation Date

Skills and Qualifications: Licenses, Skills, Training, Awards

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Present or Last Position:

Employer: ___________________________________________________________

Address: ____________________________________________________________

Supervisor: _______________________________ Phone: ___________________

Email: ______________________________________________________________

Position Title: _______________________________________________________

From: ____________________________to:________________________________

Responsibilities: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Salary: $ ___________________________________________________________

Reason for Leaving: __________________________________________________

Previous Positions Employer Name: _______________________Address: _____________________

City ____________________________State _______Zip Code _______________

55

Supervisor: __________________ Phone: ____________________

Email: ___________________________________________________

Position Title: ____________________________________________

From: _________________________ to: ______________________

Responsibilities:

Salary: __________________________________________________

Reason for Leaving: ______________________________________

May We Contact Your Present Employer? Yes ___ No ___

References:

Name/Title/Address/Phone Numbers/E-mail address

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I certify that information contained in this application is true and complete.

I understand that false information may be grounds for not hiring me or for immediate termination of employment at any point in the future, if I am hired. I authorize the verification of any or all information listed above.

Signature: _________________________________Date________

56

Personal Check List for Your Interview Remember: You only have one chance to make a first impression. Follow this guideline and you will be sure to impress the employer. Your first impressions can affect the rest of the interview.

Use proper grammar and

communicate in a professional manner. Try to avoid “UMS” and “YOU KNOW.” Make Eye Contact with the interviewer at all times. Ask Questions. Research the position and company prior to the interview. Prepare yourself by practicing. Thank the interviewer for your interview. Be Positive. Make a good first impression. Arrive 15 minutes early for the interview.

Choose responses and verbal statements that promote you. Greet the interviewer with enthusiasm and a firm handshake. Be personable and prepared to “make small talk.” Be polite to support staff (their input matters.) Reflect confidence in your voice tone. Wear conservative colors. Nails should be trimmed and clean. Hair should be well groomed and away from your face. Eye glasses should be cleaned and polished. Wear a belt with pants around your waist. No “pants on the ground.” Cover tattoos if possible. One ring per hand. One earring per ear. Be “neutral.”

57

Okay you are now ready for your interview.

Job Interview Tips Typical Interviews Most employers follow a standard outline during the interview process.

(The interviewer may give you a preview of what will occur during the interview.) The employer may give you a

brief overview of the position or additional information about the organization. You respond to questions. (If it is a good interview, this is the longest segment and you should do most of the talking). You ask questions of the interviewer. Have at least five or ten questions prepared beforehand.

Employer Questions Anticipate questions you will be asked and prepare responses beforehand.

The following are common questions asked by employers.

What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Why did you select Texas Women’s University? Why did you choose the major in fashion and marketing? Why did you choose your career field? What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? How has your college experience prepared you for your career? What qualifications do you have that will make you successful in this position? Describe your most rewarding accomplishment. Describe a challenge you encountered and how you dealt with it. Why are you interested in working for our organization? What do you know about our organization? Tell me a little bit about yourself. How would you describe yourself? What two or three things are most important to you in your job?

58

Why should I hire you?

Questions for the Employer Formulate Questions of High Quality for the Employer

Do Your Homework Be prepared beforehand to ask the interviewer questions. Research the organization and your profession. Your knowledge of the

profession and information you gather

through research and networking will help you formulate questions of high quality. Questions -you may ask in an interview.

Examples: What is the philosophy of the organization? What do you consider the organization’s strengths and weaknesses? What are the organization’s plans and goals? Describe the work environment. What attracted you to this organization? Why do you enjoy working for this organization? Describe the typical responsibilities of the position. What are the challenging facets of the position? Describe the opportunities for training and professional development. Employers Advancement Chart Are there opportunities for advancement within the organization?

Ending The Interview The interviewer closes the interview and explains the next steps in the process.

Be sure to thank the interviewer for his or her time and consideration.

Other types of interviews include telephone and on-site interviews.

59

Introductions Handshaking/Conversation Tips

In the United States, usually a person stands the distance of one arm’s length from an individual when shaking hands.

Being Introduced Always stand up when being introduced. Extend your right hand in an open vertical flat position for a handshake (using a firm grip) but not crushing the other person’s hand.

Small Talk ~ Greeting and small talk will be use to put you at ease and break the ice. Eye Contact

Look the person in his or her eyes, and say your first and last name in a clear voice. Never pat the top of the other person’s hand. The handshake should last for 2-3 seconds. Avoid referring to individuals by their first name. This assumes a friendly relationship and often is not appropriate. Use the name that was given during the introduction. “Steven is Steven, NOT Steve.”

Nametag Position

Nametags should ALWAYS be placed on the right side, so an individual may easily look at your name when shaking your hand. Forget Someone’s Name If you forget someone’s name, take the embarrassment upon yourself. Say something like, “I’m sorry I know that we have met before, you are...?” Close an Introduction Always remember to close an introduction by saying something like, “It was nice to have met you.” Never simply walk away. Rules of Different Conversations Learn the art of social conversation and appropriate topics of conversation for formal and informal occasions. Social Conversation is very important. It is important to always be attentive in the presence of others...

60

Some basic rules regarding Social Conversation: Keep it short! It is social conversation after all. Emotional Topics Avoid talking about topics that evoke opinions or emotions such as religion, politics and money. Watch your speech patterns. Do not interrupt people when they are speaking. Do you finish other people’s statements? If so, you are not listening to the speaker! It is important not to monopolize the conversation. If you experience rudeness in a social conversation, simply ignore it. Do not waste your time and energy thinking about it. If appropriate and under extreme circumstances, address it in private with the individual.

Polite Conversation Polite conversation is not a long drawn out one; it is used in greeting people who start to talk to you at church, grocery stores, airports, bus stations. Just using a few sentences are all that is necessary in order not to be rude. Real Conversationalist A Real Conversationalist is a self-confident person. He/she inspires, simulates and teaches us. Occasionally that person will flatter and tease us because of an honest desire to please and a sense of humor. A successful conversation requires perceptiveness, education and cultivation or self-education. To be a good conversationalist you must be up to date and current on life in general. What Makes a Bad Impression A good vocabulary is one of the most impressive assets a person can have. No matter how intelligent you are, if you use swear words or too much slang in your conversation, you will make a bad impression. People will not perceive the depth of your conversation or its intelligence; they will hear only its harshness and vulgarity.

Introductions – Deference A Common Rule Deference refers to common courtesy that is extended to one another. With regard to introductions, juniors are always presented to seniors.

A common rule is to introduce the highest-ranking person first, and then introduce everyone to him or her.

Deference is based on rank in a company and not on gender.

Also, remember that a client ALWAYS outranks someone from within your company (even your supervisor).

61

What to Talk About Here are some possible topics of conversation:

Current events

Personal Hobbies

Line of work

Entertainment World

Artist

College

62

Travel

Communication Barriers In life we have many barriers that might cause us not to effectively communicate with others such as: Too Tired or Too Bored

Too Hungry

Too Angry

Fear

Sick Facial Expression

Attire & Body Language

63

Bad Hairdo & Attire

Choices We Make Good and Bad Behavior

Respect grandparents and other people at all time.

Be Kind to Animals Pet Owners: Make sure you take your pet to the veterinarian for regular check ups.

Do not chase cats and dogs. Remember you would not want a stranger chasing you. Do not frighten the animals. Homophobia ~ Understand other people. Say, “NO” to homophobia!

Racism ~ Do not engage in racism! Be kind to others (Human beings and animals)

Personal Safety On-line Tips Do not engage in conversation with strangers on the Internet!

64

Do not give out your personal information and place your picture on the internet! Keep your personal information private! Riding with Strangers Do not get in cars with strangers! Do not place yourself in a possible dangerous position.

Suspicious Package If you find a suspicious package, do not open it. Please contact your local police department right away. Good Jobs

There are many non-degree jobs available in your community. Check out the list of jobs below. Pizza Maker

Short Order Cook

Bank Teller

Disc Jockey

Grocery Checker

Theatre Usher

Bad Jobs

65

Work for what you want. Breaking the law will place you in jail. Do not waste your life behind bars. Get a real job!

Boxed - In jail Do not break the law! Again, work for want you need or want.

Parents/Caregivers

Tough Subjects Alcohol ~ Drugs ~ Smoking Most parents think they have had serious discussions with their teens about drugs and alcohol, but only about half of teens agree. So, even though you might stumble and falter, start talking! The stakes are too high for you to keep silent.

Back when our children were small, who could have imagined what life would hold for them: pressures surrounding sex, alcohol, drugs, and a bewildering array of messages, choices, and consequences.

While it’s a rare parent who doesn’t want to say, “Let me help you sort things out,” we also recognize that our children’s need for independence grows as they do. And talking about touchy subjects can be especially difficult when teens tend to tune us out.

Create Time to Talk

Driving your teen to a sporting event or to meet his or her friends at the mall may seem like just another chore, unless you recognize it as an opportunity to talk. Of course, you may have to get the conversation going. Try telling your child a little about your day or inquiring about his or her friends, before asking her how things are going. Make sure your family sits down at the table and has dinner together weekly or as often as possible during the week.

Do Your Research Before discussing topics like sex or drugs with your son or daughter, first do a little homework. Often it’s as simple as checking the phone book for hotlines or asking my doctor to recommend some pamphlets. If your son or daughter is not willing to discuss a touchy subject, you can still give him or her phone numbers to call or an article to read. And, of course, tell them you will always be available if he or she needs your help.” Students’ Private Matters - Talk to your parents or school counselors about private matters that may concern you... Just talk to someone you trust.

66

Victim of Abusive Behavior Get help!

No one should hit you with any harmful items. Please call 911 or tell your teachers, neighbors or someone you trust. Sexual Behavior Do not engage in unprotected sex or acts of incest!

Choices and Consequences

Alcohol More than half of the nation’s 6-12th graders drink alcoholic beverages. Don’t let your teen become a statistic. Smoking Help your teens kick this dangerous habit or better yet, convince them never to start. Smoking is not fashionable anymore, and research has proven that smoking kills people.

Drug Abuse In the next 24 hours, 15,006 American teens will use drugs for the first time. Do not let your teen be one of them! Take only medications prescribed by a doctor. Do Your Research “Before I discuss topics like sex or drugs with my son,” one father says, “I do a little homework. Often it’s as simple as checking the phone book for hotlines or asking my doctor to recommend some pamphlets. If my son is not willing to discuss a touchy subject, I can still give him a number to call or an article to read. And, of course, I tell him I’m always available if he needs my help.”

Street Drugs Slang Words

Glossary Listed below are only a few words used by drugs users and dealers. C – Cocaine C & M – Cocaine and morphine C Joint – Place where cocaine is sold Cabbage Head – An individual who will use or experiment with any kind of drug Cabello (Spanish) – Cocaine Cadillac Express – Methcathinone Cafeteria Use – Use of various drugs simultaneously, particularly sedatives or hypnotics Cafeteria-Style Use – Using a combination of different club drugs Caine – Cocaine; Crack Cocaine Cakes – Round discs of crack Calbo (Spanish) – Heroin

67

California Cornflakes – Cocaine California sunshine – LSD Cancelled Stick – Marijuana cigarette Candy – Cocaine; Crack Cocaine; amphetamine; depressants Candy Blunt – Blunts dipped in cough syrup

Candy flipping on a string – Combining or sequencing LSD with MDMA; mixing LSD, MDMA, and cocaine

Bull – Narcotics agent or police officer

Achieving Your Goals Challenges to Achieve – Emotion and Physical My goal is to: _______________________________________________________ My Goal Positive (+) Negative (-) _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ What Are Goals? Something that somebody wants to achieve Remember, Successful people DO things that Unsuccessful people are UNWILLING to do!

1. Specific goal: (Eat Healthy) 2. Measurable: (Did things change?) 3. Time line: (I will accomplish my goal by this date) 4. Be Realistic: (Too challenging or too easy?)

Listed are fourteen (14) ways to achieve your goals;

68

1. First start with three (3) goals 2. Prioritize your goals 3. Write down your goals 4. Rewrite your goals every month 5. Place your goals where you and others will see them

everyday 6. Find people to support you (Your Villagers) 7. Be Patient 8. Be Persistent 9. Be Optimistic

10. Visualize (The new you) 11. Be willing to admit when you are kidding

yourself and then – STOP IT! 12. Be willing to stretch to a point and ask for

help when you need it. 13. Be willing to be uncomfortable for at least six

(six) weeks. 14. Be willing to trust yourself and the process.

Your Financial Budget Monthly Inventory

Expenses Expenses Amount Food/Household Supplies _________________________ Rent/Mortgage _________________________ Household Taxes _________________________ Household Insurance _________________________ Household Repairs _________________________ Gas and Electric _________________________ Water _________________________ Cell/Home/Internet _________________________ Cable _________________________ Clothing _________________________ Dry Cleaning _________________________ Laundry _________________________ School Supplies _________________________

Diapers _________________________ Childcare _________________________ Child Support Payment _________________________ Car Payment _________________________ Car Insurance _________________________ Car Repair _________________________ Gasoline _________________________ Bus / Transportation _________________________ Medicines _________________________ Vitamins _________________________ Insurance Polices (Medical/Life) _________________________ Personal Grooming (Haircut/Styling) _________________________ Personal Care Products _________________________ Other _________________________ Monthly Inventory

Income Wages Amount

Yourself _________________________ Wage-earner 2 _________________________

69

Wage-earner 3 _________________________ Wage-earner 3 _________________________ Sub-Total (A) $________________________ Benefits Worker Compensation _________________________ Unemployment 1 _________________________ Unemployment 2 _________________________ Social Security 1 _________________________ Social Security 2 _________________________ SS Disability (SSI) _________________________ TANF/AFDC _________________________ Food Stamps _________________________ VA Disability _________________________

Other _________________________ Sub-Total (B) $________________________ Other Income Retirement-1 (Pension) _________________________ Retirement-2 (Pension) _________________________ Child Support _________________________ Miscellaneous _________________________ Sub-Total (C) Total Income (A+B+C) $_________________________ Less Total Expenses (-) $_________________________ BALANCE $_________________________

Glossary

Ambitious: Having strong desire for success in life

Apologize: Acknowledge and express regret or remorse for

something; say that you are sorry for something that has upset or inconvenienced somebody else.

Application: A formal and usually written request for

something such as a job, a grant of money, or admission to a school or college.

Appreciate: Value somebody or something highly – to

recognize and like the qualities in somebody or something.

Behavior: Conduct, manners, the way somebody behaves.

Benediction: A prayer asking for God’s blessing, usually at the

end of a Christian service

Bishop: A high-ranking Christian clergyman especially in

the Roman Catholic, Episcopal, and Orthodox churches.

Choice: A decision to choose one thing, person, or course

of action in preference to others.

Clotted Cream: A thick cream made chiefly in England by slowly heating whole milk on which the cream has been allowed to rise and then skimming the cooled cream from the top – also called Devonshire cream.

College: Institution of higher learning - an institution of

higher learning that provides education to undergraduates and awards bachelors and sometimes master’s degrees.

College Dean: A member of a college / university

administration in charge of a learning institution, faculty, special section of students, or of the whole body of students.

70

Congregation: A group of people gathered for a religious

service.

Conversation: An informal talk with somebody, especially about opinions, ideals, feelings or everyday matters.

Cultures: Civilization; people with shared beliefs and values

of a group – the beliefs, customs, practices, and social behavior of a particular nation or people.

Development: The process of changing and becoming larger,

stronger, or more impressive, successful, or advanced, or of causing somebody or something to change in this way

Devonshire: See Clotted Cream. Discrimination: An act directed against a person who is

different from you, e.g., minorities. Education: Skills obtained from a learning process, training or

schooling.

Elders: Older, more mature, having seniority

Employee: Staff Personnel, Worker, Laborer Enhance: To improve or add to the strength, worth, beauty,

or other desirable quality of something.

Etiquette: Rules of acceptable behavior – the rules and

conventions governing CORRECT or POLITE BEHAVIOR in society in general or in a specific social or professional group or situation.

Excuse Me: Apology

Expectation: Expected standard of conduct or performance

expected by or of somebody.

Family: Group of relatives - a group of people who are closely related by birth, marriage, or adoption…

Fine Dining: Outstanding – far better than the average

Foliate: Relating to or resembling leaves

Formal Dress: Attire suitable to wear for an important occasion,

e.g. a tuxedo for men and a full-length dress for women.

Foundation: Support for a building; a part of a building,

usually below the ground, that transfers and distributes the weight of the building onto the ground. Can also be a charitable organization.

Grace: Prayer said at mealtimes – a short prayer of

thanks to God said before or sometimes after a meal.

Guardian: Someone who is legally entrusted to manage

somebody else’s affairs, especially those of a minor.

71

History: The past events of a period in time or in the life or

development of a people, an institution, or a place

Homophobia: Irrational hatred of homosexual people – disapproval or fear of homosexuality, gay and lesbian people, or their culture.

Inexperienced: Without schooling or experience.

Indecent: Offensive to accepted standards of decency. Incest: Sex between close relatives - sexual activity

between two people who are considered, for moral or genetic reasons, too closely related to have such a relationship. Incest is regarded as a serious taboo in almost every society, although cultures differ as to the extent to which marriages are allowed between relatives.

Insult: Be offensive to somebody – to say or do something

RUDE or INSENSITIVE that offends somebody.

Interview: A meeting during which somebody is asked questions, e.g., by a prospective employer, a journalist, or a researcher.

Interviewer: The person asking the questions in an interview.

Invocation: Calling upon a greater power such as God or a

spirit for help.

Knowledge: General awareness or possession of information,

facts, ideas, truths, or principles. Library: A room, building, or institution where a collection

of books or other research materials is kept.

Listen: Make a conscious effort to hear; to concentrate on what somebody is saying.

Manners: Social behavior, especially in terms of what is

considered correct or unacceptable.

Museums: Place where important things are preserved – a building or institution where objects of artistic, historical, or scientific importance and value are kept, studied, and put on display.

Nutrition: Processing of food – the process of absorbing

nutrients from food and processing them in the body in order to keep healthy or to grow

Observe: Notice something - to see or notice something, especially while watching carefully.

Parent Somebody mother, father, or legal guardian.

Please: Use to make a polite request or command.

Pope: The Bishop of Rome and head of the Roman

Catholic Church.

Postgraduate: Someone who has graduated from a university or college with a bachelor’s degree, especially one who is studying for a higher degree.

72

Principal: School administrator - the head administrator of a school, especially a grade school or high school.

Professional: Conforming to the standards of skill, competence,

or character normally expected of a properly qualified and experienced person in a work environment.

Rabbi: The religious leader of a Jewish congregation, or the chief religious official of a synagogue.

Resume: Continue something – to continue with something

after a temporary halt, or be continued. Resumé: A compilation of education, work experience, and

other relevant material submitted when seeking a job.

Roots: The base of something, or the part by which

something is attached to the body.

Rude: Ill-mannered, disagreeable or discourteous in manner or action.

School: An institution in which children and teenagers are

taught, usually up to the age of 17, or a building housing such an institution.

Self-esteem:

Self-respect, confidence in your own merit as an individual.

Silverware: Metal Tableware – metal knives, forks, and other

items of tableware. Student: A person who is enrolled to study and learn from a

teacher or instructor at a school, college, university, etc.

Superintendent: The administrator or manager in charge of

school system. Teacher: Somebody who teaches, especially as a profession. Text: A written, typed, or printed version of something

such as a speech or a statement.

Undergraduate: Student studying for a first degree; a student at

a college or university who has not yet received a bachelor’s degree.

University: An educational institution for higher learning that

typically includes an undergraduate college and graduate schools in various disciplines, as well as medical, law and other professional schools.

Unrefined: Lacking refinement or social skills.

Unskilled: Showing a lack of skill or training. Village: A group of houses and other buildings in a rural

area, smaller than a town.

Wardrobe: All the clothes that belong to an individual.

73

Wisdom: Good sense shown in a way of thinking, judgment, or action; the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience.