MorePraiseforYourLeadershipStory
“Thecounselofancientwisdomistoknowthyself.Tobeeffectiveasaleader,younotonlyhavetoknowthyself,youhavetosharethyself.Theabilitytoknowandtellyourleadershipstoryiscriticaltoengagingotherstogetbiggerthingsdone.TimTobinhaswrittenahandbookthatwillhelpyoulearnhowtodothat.”—ScottEblin,authorofTheNextLevelandOverworkedandOverwhelmed
“TimTobintalksabouttheimportanceofself-awarenessanditscrucialplaceinouraction-orientedworld.Theabilitytobeself-awareasonemovesupwardintheorganizationalhierarchyiscriticalandoftenlacking.Readthisbookandapplytheexercisesandquestionstoyourself.Guaranteedtoraiseyourself-awarenessquotientandprovideyouwithawayofmoreeffectivelydevelopingyourteam.”—BeverlyKaye,founder,CareerSystemsInternational,andcoauthorofHelpThemGroworWatchThemGoandLove‘EmorLose‘Em
“YourLeadershipStoryisawonderfulbookthathelpsyoureflect,understand,anddevelopyourownleadershipcapabilitiesinapersonalway.Everyonewholeadsteams,projects,oranorganizationshouldreadthisbook.”—JoshBersin,Principalandfounder,BersinbyDeloitte
“Knowingmylife’sstoryandconstantlyupdatingitgivesmetheinformationIneedtoknowwhoIamandenablesmetoconnectwiththoseIlead.TimTobin’sbooktellsmehowtodoit.”—RobertM.Tobias,Professor,KeyExecutiveLeadershipProgram,AmericanUniversity
“Muchisbeingwrittenonhowtobecomeabetter,moreauthenticleader.Thereisliterallyanoceanofrecommendations—manyofwhicharedifficulttounderstandanduse.InYourLeadershipStory,TimTobincutsthroughtheleadershipnoiseandidentifiesanunderstandableandeffectivewaytobecomeabetterleader—bytrulyunderstandingandeffectivelycommunicatingyourownleadershipstory.”—WalterMcFarland,coauthorofChoosingChange
“Greatleadershipandskillfulstorytellingarenearlysynonymous.YourLeadershipStoryisprovocative,filledwithfreshinsights,andimmensely
practical.TimTobinbringswonderfulclaritytotheleadership/storytellingconnections.”—JimLoehr,bestsellingauthorandcofounder,HumanPerformanceInstitute
“Yourleadershipjourneyisapowerfultoolformotivatingyourselfandothers.TimTobinshowsyouhowtoturnthatjourneyintoacompellingstory.Don’tmissthisone!”—SteveArneson,PhD,authorofBootstrapLeadershipandWhatYourBossReallyWantsfromYou
“TimTobin’sfocusonperceptionsofleaders—theirownandthosetheyseektoinfluence—speakseloquentlytothepoint.Thisbookprovidesleaderswithsageadviceandskillsincrafting,aligning,andcommunicatingthemessagetheyspeakwiththemessagetheymodel.Powerfulintheirsimplicity,leadershipstories,whentakentoheartandmind,canhelpyouaccelerateyourleadershipeffectiveness.”—VictoriaJ.Marsick,Professor,DepartmentofOrganization&Leadership,andCodirector,J.M.HuberInstituteforLearninginOrganizations,TeachersCollege,ColumbiaUniversity
YourLeadershipStory
YourLeadershipStory
USEYOURSTORYTOENERGIZE,INSPIRE,ANDMOTIVATE
TimothyJ.Tobin
YourLeadershipStoryCopyright©2015byTimothyJ.Tobin
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2015-1
INTERIORDESIGN:ValerieBrewster.EDITOR:ElissaRabellino.
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ForChase,Finley,andSara—Youaremygreatestsourceofinspirationandyouprovidethegreatestmeaningtomystoryeachday.
CONTENTS
ForewordbyJayA.Conger
Preface
Introduction
CHAPTERIJustWhatIsLeadership?
AWordaboutPerceptions
WhatIsYourLeadershipStory?
TypesofLeadership
TowardaBalancedLeadershipStory
TwoBigQuestions
TheDrivingCatalyst
IntroducingBob
CHAPTERIIUnderstandingandAligningYourLeadershipStory
WhatMakesaGoodStory?
STEP1:DefineYourPlot
STEP2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters
STEP3:PrepareforConflict
STEP4:DevelopYourTheme
STEP5:FindYourOptimalSetting
CHAPTERIII
TheNarrativeArc
MappingYourArcandDiscoveringYourLeadershipTruths
CHAPTERIVTheArtofCommunicatingYourLeadershipStory
WhatConstitutesGoodStorytelling?
STEP6:KnowYourMessage
STEP7:KnowYourAudience
STEP8:MaximizeMomentsofTruth
STEP9:ActionsSpeakLouderThanWords
STEP10:EnlistOtherstoTellYourLeadershipStory
Conclusion
Resources
ActivitiestoDoYourself
ActivitiestoGivetoOthers
ReflectiveQuestions
Tips
Notes
Acknowledgments
Index
AbouttheAuthor
FOREWORD
Leadershipstartswithyou.Tobetrulyeffective,youneedtoknowwhoyouareandwhoyouwishtobeasaleader.Youhavetohaveaclearsenseofwhatmovesyoutolead.Youneedastronginnercompasstoensurethatyouareconsistentlymakingtherightchoices.Withoutthisinnerclarity,you’llbepulledindirectionsthatareunlikelytoharnessyourpotentialorthepotentialofthosewhofollowyou.Metaphorically,it’slikenavigatinganewcitywithoutthemapapponyourphone.You’llexperienceonemisstepafteranother.Youwillnotarriveattheaspirationalendpointeachofuswishestoachieveoverourlifetime.
Sothejourneytoleadingbeginswithyou—discoveringandmakingthemostofpersonalpassions,preemptingcostlymistakesthroughcorevaluesandrememberinglessonslearnedinyourpast.Youhavetoknowyourownleadershipstory.ThissingularinsightiswhyTimTobin’sbookmustbeatthetopofyourreadinglist.Itisaparadox,butifyouwishtolead,youhavetotakeastepback.Youneedtoreflectonwhatmeansthemosttoyouandtothoseyoulead.
Inmyownworkwithexecutivesandmanagers,Iamsurprisedathowmanyhavegivenfartoolittlethoughttowhotheyareorwhotheywishtobeasleaders.Itisshocking.IsaythisbecauseIknowthepricetheyarepayingforthislackofinsight.Insteadofleading,theyendupspendingtheirdaysmanagingatbest.Theyarepulledbywhateverdemandstheirimmediateattention.Theywillalsomakepoorchoicesbecausetheylackaninnersenseofwhat’stherightthingtodo.They’llmakecompromiseswhentheyshouldn’t.They’llrepeattheirmistakes.Theywillalltoorarelyarticulatetheiraspirationssincethesearedrownedoutbya“tickingtheboxes”mentality.Asaresult,theseindividualslackvisionandconsequentlylackthecapacitytoinspire.Theultimatepricetheypayforthislackofinsightintothemselves?Theyneverrealizetheirpersonalpotential.Quiteanumberplateauintheircareers,or,worseyet,theyderail.
WhatTimTobinhasdonesobeautifullyistoprovideastructuredmeansforyoutoexploretheessentialdimensionsofyourpersonalleadershipstory.Iwill
youtoexploretheessentialdimensionsofyourpersonalleadershipstory.IwillsaythathisbookisthemostthoroughguidetocraftingsuchstoriesthatIhaveread.Hetakesyoustep-by-step.Bydeployingwide-rangingandprovocativequestions,hewillhaveyoureflectingdeeplyonwhathasshapedyouasaleaderandwhereyouwishtogoasaleader.IliketothinkofhisbookastheequivalentoftheMayoClinic’sExecutivePhysicalforleadershipstories—everydimensionofyouasaleaderwillbeexplored!
Butwhyarethesepersonalstoriessoessentialtoleadership?Thereisafunnythingthathappenswhenyouhavetocreateastoryforyourself.Itforcesyoutopowerfullyclarifywhatismostmeaningfulandinspirationaltoyou.You’llalsocometorealizethatyoureallydopossessaninnersetofvalues.Thesearetouchstonesforyourmentalwell-being.Ifyoustrayfromthemforlong,somethingdeepinsidewilldisturbyouoverandoveragain.Withclarity,youwillbelessseducedbytheimmediatedistractionsthattakeyouawayfromyourgiftsandtheaccomplishmentsyouwishtoachieve.Youwillbelessseducedbychoicesthathaveashort-termpayoff(inreality,afalsesenseofaccomplishment)buthavealonger-termandexpensivecost.Asyougopublicwithyourstoryandshareitwidely,you’llexperienceagreatersenseofpersonalaccountabilitytoliveuptoit.Inotherwords,youwillfindyourselfnotonlytellingyourstorybutalsolivingitfarmoreconsistently!Youwilldiscoverhowitgivesyousomuchmoreclaritywhenyouareconfrontedwithdailycrossroadchoices.
There’sanotherbigadvantagetohavingarichleadershipstory.Itwillhelpyourassociatestoremembertherightchoicestheyneedtomakeeveryday.Theywillberemindedofwhatismostmeaningfulabouttheworkyoudoasateamandthevaluesandparametersthatshouldguideeveryimportantdecision.Whyisthat?PioneeringworkinneuroscienceandmemoryisrevealingthatstoriesengageusfarmoreprofoundlythanPowerPointpresentationsorabstractdiscussionsorvalueandmissionstatements.Theyareincrediblysticky.Weeasilyretaininourmemoriesthemovingpersonalstoriesofothers.Witnessthosetoldthousandsofyearsagobytheworld’sgreatreligiousleaders.Theirstories,richinlessonsandguidelines,remainvividtoday.Wecanrecallthemwithease.
Whatalsomakesthisbookspecialisthatyouwillbelearningfromoneofthemostpassionateindividualsinthefieldofleadership.Timlovesleadership.Hehaslivedit,taughtit,studiedit,andcoachedit.Hehasspentyearslearningthemethodologyofconstructingeffectiveleadershipstories.Thispassioncomesthroughinthepurposeofthisbook:tohelpindividualsseeandexperiencetheirpotentialtotrulylead.
Insum,yourinvestmentinthisbookwillexpandyourconceptionofwhoyou
Insum,yourinvestmentinthisbookwillexpandyourconceptionofwhoyouareandcanbeasaleader.Inthelongrun,itwilltransformyourimpactoveryourcareer.Iwishyouawonderfuljourneyofself-discovery.
JayA.CongerChairmanKravisLeadershipInstituteClaremontMcKennaCollege
PREFACE
Mostofmyprofessionalworkinglifehasbeenfocusedonleadershipdevelopment.Istudieditinschool.Ihavehelpedavarietyoflargeandsmallorganizationsbuildaward-winningleadershipprograms.Ihaveworkedwithleadersacrossindustries.Ihavehadtheopportunitytoworkwithtopleadersandworld-classleadershipspeakers.Ihaveledsmallteamsandbigteams.AndIhaveobservedothersdoingthesame.Ihavealsobeenfortunatetohavesomegreatmentors.AndIhavebeenequallyfortunatetocoachotherleaders.Iamastudentofleadership.Ihavededicatedmylifetoit,andIhavelearnedagreatdealalongtheway.
Ifyoulookclosely,youmightsayIhaveleadershipcomingoutofmyears.(It’sreallynotasuncomfortableasitsounds.)Soasyoulaunchintothisbook,youmightbethinking,thisguymustbealeadershipgenius.Hemustbe(soundofhorns)ThePerfectLeader.
Anddoyouknowwhat?Youwouldbewrong.OK,perfectisprobablynotafairorrealisticgoalforanyonetostriveforwhenitcomestoleadership.Therearejusttoomanymovingpartstoleadershipforanyonetobeabletonailitallthetime.
Sotobefair,let’ssaythetargetistobeaconsistentlygreatleader—thekindofleaderwhoinspiresandmotivatesothers.Someonewholeavesapositive,lastingimpression.Thatseemsmorerealisticandmoreattainable.
Whatevertheendmeasure,truthbetold,Istilldon’tgetleadershiprightallthetime.Heck,I’dsettleforprettydarngoodonsomedays.
Letmepauserightthereforasecond.Whywouldanyonewanttostriveforleadershipgreatness?Ifitistofeedtheego,reconsider:itrarelyendsingreatness.Ifthemotivationismorealtruisticinnature—tohelpothers,guidethem,developthem—youwillfindconsistentlygreaterfruitsofyourleadershiplabor.
IfIcanspendallthistimeimmersedinthetopicofleadershipandnotalwaysgetitright,howarepeoplewhoarefocusedoncountlessresponsibilitiesother
thanleadershipsupposedtogetitright?Thatisanawfullottoexpect.I’veencounteredgreatleadership,andI’veseengreatleadershaveoffdaysaswell.Tome,though,it’sallthepossibilitiesthatmakeleadershipsofun.That’sright—leadershipshouldbefun.Butlet’snotunderestimatethelevelofeffort,planning,anddevelopmentthatourleadersrequireiftheyaretobeattheirbestforthosetheylead.
Successatonepointinone’scareerdoesnotguaranteesuccessatanotherpoint.Ihaveseeninfartoomanyinstancesthathighlycapabletechnicalexpertsarepromotedtoaleadershipposition—withlittleornoleadershiptraining.Andtheyareexpectedtocontinueontheirpathtoexcellence.Unfortunately,whatI’vealsoseenisthatsometimesthatworksoutandsometimesitdoesn’t.I’mnotmuchofabettingman,butIdon’tlikethoseodds.
We’veallheardthe“Leadershipisajourney”metaphor,anditisfairtosaythatIamstillonmyjourneyandyouarestillonyours.Infact,thisbookwasbornoutoftherealizationthatI’vestillgotalottolearn.I’malsoatapointwhereIhavealottoshare.
Iwrotethisbookprimarilyforemergingleaders.Look,Irealizethatnoteveryonehastheopportunitytoattendamultidayleadershipprogramortohaveapersonalleadershipcoach.Bothofthosetaketimeandcancostalotofmoney.Butitdoesn’tmeanyoushouldbelefttoyourowndevicestojustfigureleadershipout.Unfortunately,foranynumberofreasons,thatisfartoooftenthecase.
Emergingleaderslikelyhavethemostquestionsaboutleadershipandthefewestresourcestosupporttheirdevelopment.Youshouldthinkofthisbookasbeinglikeaclassinleadership—notthedry,theoreticalstuff(don’ttellanyofmyprofessorsIsaidthat)butthereal,practicalstuff.Infact,considerthisyourpersonalclassinwhichtobecomemoreawareofyourleadershipcapacityandtoimproveit.
Andforyoucurrentleaderswhothinkyouhaveitallfiguredout,youmightwanttogivethisbookagoodreadbecauseyoumightbesurprisedbywhatyoufind.Ofcourse,anyleaderswhoarelookingtobetterunderstandwhotheyareasaleader,aswellasleadersgoingthroughacareertransition,willbenefitaswell.
Iwantedtodosomethingtohelpenablemorepeopletohavegreatersuccessasleaders—notsimplyforthembutalsoforthosetheylead.Tocreateall-aroundbetterexperiences.Todevelopmorepeople.To—asthebook’ssubtitlesuggests—energize,inspire,andmotivateotherstobetheirbest.Andleadershipisaboutpeople,tobesure,butitisalsoaboutdeliveringbetterresultsforthebusinessintheprocess.
Ifyou’vereadthisfar,Ihopeyouhaveaninterestinbecomingabetterleader.Iwouldlovetocontributetoyourjourneyinsomeway.Sowe’reinthistogethernow.You’llseethatIaskalotofquestionsthroughoutthebook.Iwouldencourageyoutoavoidasuperficialtreatmentofthequestionsandactivities,andinsteadtoreflectuponthemdeeply.Forgetabouttheruleagainstwritinginabook—ifyou’vegotaninsight,don’tletitgetaway.
Aswithmanythings,youcanexpecttogetonlywhatyougive.Ifyouarewillingtochallengeyourselfwithsomeofthequestionsandlookmoredeeplywithinyourself,youwillgainfargreater—possiblyeventransformational—benefits.Itendtoleantowardoptimism.Withagreaterunderstandingofyourleadershipstory,you’llfindthatthebestisyettocome.
TimothyJ.TobinWashington,D.C.
INTRODUCTION
Whatisyourleadershipstory?Moreimportant,whoistheauthorofyourleadershipstory,you…orsomeoneelse?Thisbookexamineswhyitisimportantforyoutobetheauthorofyourownleadershipstoryandhowyoucanbestcommunicateitsvalue.
Letmetellyouaboutoneofmyclients.I’llcallhimBob.Bobwasaself-confident,solidtechnicalexpertinhisfield—itdoesn’tmatterwhichone.Althoughhehadbeenamanagerforawhile,hissuccesses,hefelt,werecatchingupwithhim.Hewasbeingaskedtotakeonmoreduties.Hehadneverfelttheneedtohireacoachbefore,butwhenwetalked,herearesomeoftherevealingconcernsheconfidedinme.
•AmItakingontoomanyresponsibilities,toomuch?HowdoIknowwhentosaywhen?
•CanIhandleanincreasedleadershiprolebeyondmytechnicalrole?•IamnotsurethatIhandleeverymanagerialorprojectleadershiproleasbestasIshould.
•Rightnow,IseemtobetryingtobalancemytechnicalexpertisewiththemanagerialroleandprojectleadershipIambeingaskedtohandle.
•Whatdoesitmeantobealeader—Imean,arealleaderwhocanmaintainthatbalance?
•Howdoyouleadpeoplewhohavebeenpeersandfriendsandlunchbuddies?
•WhatdoIdomyself,andwhatdoIdelegate,andwhendoIknowthedifference?
•HowdoIbalancethenewworkrolesandmypersonallife?•Othershavedoneit.I’mconfidentthatIcan,butIjustneedsomedefinition.NoonewantstobeanexampleofthePeterPrinciple.
I’veknownandworkedwiththousandsofBobs.AndJills.Asyougothroughthestepsofthisbook—yes,it’saboutapracticalprocess—wewillvisitwithBobashefaceseachstep.Asareader,youcangetinsideBob’sheadorimaginethatyouarehe.Hisstoryisquitetypicalofsuccessfulpeoplewhoaretakingonmoreresponsibilityandseekoutsomeonelikeme.
Yourleadershipstoryisthecollectionofevents,perspectives,andbehaviorsthatrepresentwhoyouareasaleader.Itevolvesfromyouruniqueexperiences.Yourleadershipstoryisnotlikethatofthepersoninthenextdepartment.Hersisdifferent;neitherstoryisrightorwrong.Yourleadershipstorycommunicatesthemessageofidentity:whoyouareasaleader,whatyoubelievein,whatdrivesyouanddefinesyouasaleader,andhowyouact.
IfIdon’tknowaboutyouasaperson,thenIdon’tknowaboutyouasaleader.Andwhetherpreparingtobealeaderforthefirsttimeoranestablishedleaderwithmanyyearsofexperience,everyleaderhasastory.
Allleadershipstoriesshouldbedynamic.Theyarecolorfuldepictionsofeventsthatprovideasnapshotintime,yettheyareworksinprogress.Theyenergize,inspire,andmotivate.Storiesillustrateandreinforcekeypointsandprovidemeaningandrelevance.Theyhelpustolearn,impartalesson,andcommunicateamessage.Storieshelpustomakeanemotionalconnection;and,toldwell,storiesarecompellingandmemorable.
Thisbookisaboutmakingyourleadershipstorycompellingandmemorable.Thisisnotabouthowtospitouta15-secondelevatorspeech.
Ihavebeendirectlyresponsibleforthedevelopmentofthousandsofleadersacrossavarietyofindustriesandlevels,andeachleaderhashisorherownleadershipstory.Unfortunately,toooften,leadersdonotspendtimethinkingaboutorplanningtheirstory.Itisgivenlittlethoughtorattention,anditislefttochance.Leaderswhotakeaproactiveroleinunderstandingandcommunicatingtheirstoryhaveincreasedcapacity,strongerconnections,greaterself-awareness,greaterauthenticity,andbetterpreparationtomakeroutineandunanticipateddecisions.
Thisbookteachesyouhowtomakeyourleadershipstorymemorablebyprovidingyouwithguidanceforyoutobecomethewriter,director,andstarofthestory.Betteryet,let’smakeitanepic.
WhomIsThisBookFor,andHowShouldItBeUsed?
Thisisn’tabookwhereyouwillfindvalidationofhowexcellentyouthinkyouare.Rather,it’sabouttakinganhonestlookinthemirroranddiscoveringhowyourstoryisperceivedbyothers.Afterall,wouldn’tyouliketoknowhowothersseeyourleadership?Wouldn’tthatbehelpfultoyourcareerdevelopment?
Mostleadersaremuchmorethanwhattheyappeartobe.Thisbookismeanttohelpyoutobegood,nottolookgood.Youneedtodelvebelowthesurfaceofyourleadershipanduncoverthewhythatunderliesit.Ifyougodeeperwithin—towhatyouvalueasaleader,howyouthinkandhowyouact—andmovebeyondwhatyouthinkotherswanttoheartowhatyoutrulybelieve,thisbookandprocesshasthepotentialtobetransformational.
Itisforallcurrentoraspiringleaderswhowanttotakecontroloftheirownleadershipstory.If,asaleader,youareinterestedsimplyingettingtasksdonemoreefficiently,thenthisbookmaynotbeforyou.It’snotaboutprojectmanagement.
Instead,itintroducesaprocesstofacilitatetheself-reflectionrequiredforyoutounderstandyourleadershipstory.Includedisacollectionofactivitiesandtipstohelpyoubuild,shape,andcommunicateyourstory.
Ifyouareinterestedinmakingadeeper,strongeremotionalconnectionwiththoseyoulead,andyouwanttofindgreaterenergyandinspirationasaleader,thenthisbookisforyou.Itisaboutdevelopingapositiveeffectonthepeopleyoulead.Doyouknowwhetheryourpeopleresentorcraveyourleadership?Wouldn’tyouwantpeopletocraveit?
Youcannotfakeleadership.Itmustbesincereandrealandreflectwhoyouare.Youmustsearchyoursoulforwhatyoutrulybelieveandnotjustmassagewhatyouwantotherstoseeorhear.ChapterIwilloutlinetypesofleadershipandlackthereof.
Youmaychoosetosimplyskimthroughthestepsofthisprocesswithaneyetowardidentifyinghowyoulookorsoundasaleader.Ifso,theresultwilllikelybeasuperficialtreatmentofyourleadershipstory.Inlife,incareer,whendoesdoingsomethinghalfwayfeelgood,andwhendoesitevercreateaddedvalue?InCreatingPersonalPresence,DiannaBooherarguesthatpersonalpresenceiscomposedoffourdimensions:Look,Talk,Think,andAct.ShenotesthatmostpeopleemphasizetheLookandTalkdimensionsandassumethattheyarewhoyouare.ShepointsoutthattheThinkandActdimensionsarethemostimportant,andthemostdifficult,becausetheyexistatadeeperlevel.1ThatisthelevelI’mtalkingabouthere.
Forthistobetransformational,you’regoingtoneedtodosomesoul-
Forthistobetransformational,you’regoingtoneedtodosomesoul-searching.Anditmightbeuncomfortableattimes.Therealvalue:it’stransformationalnotjustforyoubutalsoforthoseyoulead.
ThePartsofThisBook
Thebookismadeupofstepsandchapters.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,thereare10steps—fivetounderstandyourstoryandfivetocommunicateit.Eachstepguidesyouthroughquestions,activities,andtipstogiveyouadeeperunderstandingofyourstoryandhelpyouultimatelytobecomeabetterleader.Althoughallofthestepsaremeanttofittogether,youmayfinditnecessarytospendmoretimeononestepthananother.
Inchapter1,wetrytodefinejustwhatleadershipis.Whatenhancesitandwhatcompromisesit?Whydootherssometimeshaveaviewofyourleadershipthatisverydifferentfromwhatyouseeinthemirror?WealsomeetBob.Hewillbewithusthroughoutthebookashetackleseachstep,rightalongwithyou.
Inchapter2,wefocusondefiningandunderstandingwhatthecurrentandidealversionsofyourleadershipstoryare.Eachstepinthischapterdealswithadifferentstoryelement;itincludesanoverviewoftheelementandwhyitisimportant,fivereflectivequestions,fiveactivitiesdesignedtofurthercreateself-awarenessanddriveaction,andthreequicktips.
Storiestakeplaceovertime,andtheyhaveabeginning,middle,andend.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,thenarrativearcisthatpointinyourcareerwhenitallcomestogether.Inchapter3,youwillhavetheopportunitytoidentifyandreflectuponwhereyouareonyournarrativearc,aswellasthepeopleandeventsthathavehadthegreatestinfluenceonwhoyouareasaleader.
Inchapter4,wefocusonhowyoucanbestcommunicateyourleadershipstory.Thestepstakeyouthroughknowingyourmessageandaudience,lookingforandmaximizingmomentsoftruth,understandingtheroleofactionsandothernonverbalcommunication,andenlistingotherstohelpyoutellyourleadershipstory.Eachstepprovidesanoverviewofthetopicandwhyitisimportant.Ialsoincludereflectivequestionstohelpyouthinkabouthowtocommunicateyourleadershipstory,strategiestohelpyourefinethemessageofyourleadershipstory,andashortanecdotetoillustratethataspectofstorytelling.
Iendthebookwithaconclusionandresources.Theconclusiontiesallofthe
conceptstogetherandprovidesfinalthoughtsforyoutoconsider.Itprovidesanopportunityforyoutolookbackatthewholeprocessofunderstandingandcommunicatingyourstory.Myhopeisthatattheconclusionofthisbook,youarebetterpreparedforchallengesandrewardsofleadership.Further,Ihopethatyouaremoreinspiredandthatyouhaveagreaterabilitytoinspirethoseyoulead.
Theresourcessectionprovidesaquickguidetotheactivitiesyoucandoyourselfandthosetogivetoothers.Italsogathersinonecentralplacethereflectivequestionsdesignedtohelpyouunderstandandcommunicateyourstory,andthetipsfromeachstepintheprocess.
Theperspectiveandactivitiesinthisbookaremeanttoestablishaprocessforreflection,toputinplaceanunderstandingthatwillhelpyouavoidblindspotsandbecometheauthorofyourleadershipstory.Afterreadingthisbookandworkingthroughsomeofthereflectivequestionsandactivities,youwillhaveabetterunderstandingofthecurrentandidealversionsofyourleadershipstory.Youwillalsohavestrategiestocommunicateyourleadershipstory.
So,ifyouareready,let’sgetstarted.
CHAPTERI
JustWhatIsLeadership?
Inthischapter,IwanttohelpyouunderstandwhatIcalltheecologyofleadership.Obviously,someonecannotbemuchofaleaderifnooneistheretobeled.Soit’sadelicateenvironmentofprojects,priorities,andplansaswellasemotions,sensitivities,andambitions.
PresidentEisenhoweroncecommented,“Leadershipistheartofgettingsomeonetodosomethingyouwantdonebecausehewantstodoit.”Ike’sapproachtodelegationcouldbecalledsubtle.Buttohim,delegationwasanimportantskillandabigdeal.ItsurelyservedhimwellinEuropeashedealtwithmanybigegostoleadtheAlliedeffortinWorldWarII.
AWordaboutPerceptions
SpeakingofIke,wetypicallydon’tthinkofhimashavinghadabigego.SupremeAlliedcommander,presidentofColumbiaUniversity,generaloftheArmy,presidentoftheUnitedStates.That’sarésuméthatwouldenableanyone’segotoballoon.ButnotEisenhower.Hewasawesomeandnotawesomeatthesametime.
Likewise,itisimportantforallofustounderstandhowweareperceivedbyothersandwherethatisconsistentwithourself-perceptions.Ifthereismisalignmentbetweenthetwo,itisimportanttounderstandwhythatis.Astheintroductionimplies,thisbook’sprocessandstepsarenotintendedtoreaffirmtoyouthatyouarejustsoawesomerightnow.Inafewparagraphs,youwillmeetBobandwatchhislunchmatestellhimhownotawesomehereallyis.Itisashockerforhim.
WhatIsYourLeadershipStory?
Thetruthis,youareonlyasgoodaleaderaspeoplethinkyouare.That’shardtoacceptifyouwearawesomenessonyoursleeve.Aself-reviewofyourleadershipwouldcontaininherentflaws,andtoooftenleadersattempttorationalizetheirbehavior.AccordingtothebookLeadershipandSelf-Deception,bytheArbingerInstitute,leaderscanblindthemselvestotheirtruemotivationsandcapabilities.2Withoutareviewfromothers,itisunlikelythatourself-perceptionisaccurate—whetherpositiveorcritical.Rarelyisourownperceptionexactlyright.Andthathasimplicationsforourabilitytoleadotherseffectively.
Ourawarenessandacceptanceofourimperfectionsisthepathwaytoexcellence.Tothatend,thisbookestablishesasystemofchecksandbalancestohelpyoutotrulyunderstandwhoyouareasaleader,basednotonlyonyourperceptionsbutalsoontheperceptionsandinterpretationsofothers.Youmaynotlikewhatyouhear.Itmaynotalignwithyourself-image.Butitiscriticaltofullyunderstandingyourstory.Thinkofitthisway:Thevalueaddedisbalance.
Yourleadershipstoryistheintersectionbetweenwhatyoubelieveyourstorytobeandothers’interpretations.Itisreflectedinwhatyousayanddoaswellashowothersperceiveandinterpretwhatyousayanddoasaleader.Andtoaddtothecomplexity,others’interpretationsmaynotbeaccurate.Orworse,theirmotivationsmaynotsupportyourstory.
Thisparadoxofwhoownsyourstoryisaconstantstruggle.Areyoutheprimaryauthor?Ordoesyourstoryliveintheinterpretationsofothers?Theanswerisyestoboth.Ifyoudonottakeprimaryauthorshipofyourstory,itwillbecraftedexclusivelythroughtheperceptionsofothers.Thatwillnotbeaveryaccurateautobiography.Thefollowingfigureillustratestheimportanceofunderstandingandaligningyourleadershipstorywiththeperceptionsofothers.Italsoshowstheproblemsofbeingmisunderstood.
VARIATIONS(ORINTERPRETATIONS)OFYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
Yourleadershipstorycurrentlyexistssomewherewithinthequadrantsabove.Eachisdescribedindetailbelow.Yourstorycanmanifestitselfpositivelyornegativelyineachofthequadrants.Yourobjectiveistounderstandyourleadershipstory,worktogetittowhereyouwantittobe,andmakesurethatothersarealignedwithit.
QUADRANT1Thisisadifficultplaceforleaderstofindthemselvesin.Itsuggeststhatothersknowyoubetterthanyouknowyourself.Onaslightlypositivenote,leadersheredonotbelieveinthemselves,nordotheybelievethattheyhavegreatattributesasaleader,andthismayshowitselfasbeinghumble.Butevenhumilityhasadarkside:overtime,otherswilleventuallynotbelieveinyou,either.
JefflivedinQ1.Everyonethoughthewasgreat,buthewasquicktodeflectpraise.Hewouldalwayssay,“No,no.Ididn’tdothat.Myteamdid.”Nobleindeed.Peopleappreciatedhishumility,buteventuallyheconvincedothersthathereallycouldn’tdoit,andthatfatebecamepartofhisstory.Inasense,hewroteithimself.
Benwasaleaderwhoranintothischallenge.Hewasviewedbymanyas
Benwasaleaderwhoranintothischallenge.Hewasviewedbymanyashumble.Hedidnottakecreditforhisexpertiseandleadershipcapabilities.Whenothersgavehimcredit,hewasquicktodeflectitandsay,“Oh,I’mnotsureIdidthat.”Hewasadmiredbymany,andthen,overtime,othersbegantoquestionhisabilities.Itbegansimplyenough,withafewpeersandleaderssaying,“I’mnotsure,”abouthisabilities.AlthoughhisstoryneverleftQuadrantI,itquicklytransitionedfromhumilitytoaquestionofcapability.Hehadeffectivelytalkedothersintonotbelievinginhim.Anadagecomestomind:Ifyoubelieveyoucan’tdosomething,youareprobablyright.
Anothertypeexistsinthisquadrant.Theyaretheleaderswhoarenarcissistic,self-important,oroverconfident.Leadersherethinktheyareawesome—andtheyaren’tafraidtoletothersknowitthroughtheirwordsoractions.However,awesomeisnothowtheyareperceivedbyothers.Ineithercase,theseleaderseitherarecluelessorsimplydon’tcarehowtheyareshowingupasaleader.Yoursolution,ifyoufindyourselftobeinthisquadrant,istoseekfeedbackandlistentoothers.Youmayfinditbeneficialtodoaskillsauditandtoworkonyourexecutivepresence.
QUADRANT2Usingthestoryasametaphor,thisquadrantisknownasaleader’struestory.Leadersinthisquadranthaveagoodunderstandingoftheirleadershipstory,andothersdoaswell.Leadershereareviewedasauthentic—whatyouseeiswhatyouget.Theyaregenuine.Theyknowtheirstrengthsandareasfordevelopment,andtheytendtobewillingtoenlistthesupportofothers.
Eveniftheseleaders’storieshavenegativeattributes,theyareawareofthisandeithertakecorrectiveactionindividuallyorareconsciousofwhenandhowtosupplementtheirskills.Butleadershereshouldnotgettoocomfortable.Ifyoufindyourselfinthisspace,youshouldcontinuetoreflect,beself-aware,andenlistotherstotelltheirstory.
Randymaynothavehadalltheanswers,buthewaswillingtobringinotherstohelp.Hehadgreatideas,butheknewhewasn’tanexpertineverything.Hisgo-tophrasewas“Whatdoyouthink?”Youfeltlikeyouknewhimonapersonallevelandthathecaredaboutyou.Andhewaspassionateabouttheworkhewasdoing.
QUADRANT3Leadershereare,well,hidden.Theyhaveagoodunderstandingoftheirstory,
Leadershereare,well,hidden.Theyhaveagoodunderstandingoftheirstory,butnooneelsedoes.Becauseothersdon’tknowwhotheseleadersare,theytendtobeoverlooked.
Ifyouknowyourstoryanditisnegative,youmaylackcredibilityandwillhavesomeworktodotobecomeabetterleader.Ifyouknowwhoyouareasaleaderanditispositive,youneedtobecomebetterknownasaleader.Ifyouareinthisquadrant,focusonbuildingyournetwork,getinvolvedthroughouttheorganizationinprojectsandinitiatives,andenlistotherstotellyourleadershipstory.
Jeremywasaleaderwhofitthisdescription.Hewasnewtotheorganization,freshoutofgraduateschool.Hehadalotofbrightideasbutnowayofsharingthem.Itwasn’thisstyletoaggressivelyasserthimself,andhedidn’twanttocomeacrossasbraggingortryingtotakecharge.Buteventuallyhebecamefrustrated.HeandIworkedonwaystobuildhisinternalnetworkandgetinvolvedinprojectstoshowcasewhathewascapableof.
QUADRANT4Theseleadersareinconsistentandunclearatbest;theyareerraticandunreliableatworst.JustasinQuadrantI,suchleaderslackself-awareness.Theylackthoughtandreflectionaboutwhotheyareasleaders,whattheyvalue,andwhattheystandfor.
Manyleadersherehavenottakenthetimetounderstandwhotheyareorwhattheybelieveinasaleader.Tomakethisquadrantmoredirectlypersonaltoyou,nooneelseknowsyouorwhatyoubelievein,either.Peoplemayfollowyoubecauseyouaretheboss,buttheyareskepticalandreluctanttodoso.
Ifyoufindyourselfinthisquadrant,youshouldbeginbyunderstandingyourleadershipstory.Asastartingpoint,focusonwhatyoubelieveinandvalueasaleader.Thegoodnewsisthatalmostanyactionyoutaketowardunderstanding,aligning,orcommunicatingyourleadershipstoryisastepintherightdirection.
Samwasanestablishedleaderwithintheorganization,dueinlargeparttohistechnicalknowledge.Sometimeshewantedtogetintothedetailsandsometimeshedidn’t.Hewouldassigntasksandfollowuponsomebutnotothers.NoneofSam’sdirectreportsknewwhattoexpectfromhim,nordidsomeofhispeers.Howdoyouthinkhisteamfelt?Heneverthoughtabouthowthiswasaffectinghisteam—creatinglowmorale,poorperformance,andasenseofuncertainty.Othersviewedhimasvolatileandinconsistent.
TypesofLeadership
Whattypeofleadershipdoyouwanttomaster?Whatleadershipstyledoyouaspireto?Youneedtothinkaboutwhattypeofleaderyouwanttobe.Andhereisthefunpartaboutleadership:thereisnotonesinglebestwaytolead.
Thechoiceisyours.Choosethekindofleadership,orcombinationthereof,thatbestsuitsyouandthatyouaspireto.Thepurposeofthisactivityisnotmerelytoincreaseself-awareness.Itwillhelpyoutoconsidertheultimategoalsofleadershipsothatyoukeepinmindtheimportanceofyourleadershipforthegreatergood.Theresultwillbeamoremeaningfulgoal—orsetofgoals—thatbringsfulfillmenttoyouandthoseyoulead.
Therearemanytypesofleadership.Whatdoesleadershipmeantoyou?Whatistheroleandpurposeofaleader?Asyouthinkaboutyourowndefinitionofleadership,someofthewordsyouusedmayhavegivenyouaclueastowhatstyleofleadershipyougravitatetoward.Didyouusewordssuchashelporserveothers?Didyoutalkaboutdevelopingothers?Doyoulookatleadershipasaprocess?Isitinteractive?Withwhom?Asyouthinkaboutthekindofleaderyouwanttobe,considerthevarioustypesofleadershipdescribedinthetablebelow.
TYPESOFLEADERSHIP
TypeofLeadership IllustrativePerspectives
Servantleadership RobertGreenleaf,KenBlanchard,MarkMiller
Purpose-drivenleadership BillGeorge,ClaytonChristensen
Positiveleadership RobertQuinn,RyanQuinn,KimCameron
AppreciativeInquiryleadership DavidCooperrider,DianaWhitney,EdSchein
Stewardshipleadership PeterBlock,NelsonMandela
ConversationsThatMatterleadership MegWheatley,BevKaye,SharonJordan-Evans,JuanitaBrown
Peer-to-peerleadership MilaBaker,BillGeorge
Benevolentdictatorship Somanyexamples
Benevolentdictatorship Somanyexamples
Command-and-controlleadership Someveryfamousexamples
TowardaBalancedLeadershipStoryforYou
Thisbookisaboutgettingyourleadershipstorystraight.Itisaboutfacingtherealitiesofyourleadershipstoryfrommultipleangles.Itisaboutunderstandingwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.Itisalsoaboutunderstandingandaligningyourbeliefsasaleaderwiththeperceptionsofothers—thatcriticalbalance.Inshort,YourLeadershipStoryisaboutunderstanding,aligning,andcommunicatingwhoyouareasaleader.
TwoBigQuestions
Chapter1concernstwoimportantquestions,solet’strytoanswerthem.
WHATMAKESGREATLEADERSHIP?Manydefinitionsofleadershipexist—toomanytomentionhere.Whatdoesgreatleadershipmeantoyou?Andwhatdoesitmeaninthecontextofyourorganization?
Lookaroundyouatthevariousleadersyoudealwithregularly.Whatdotheydothatisinspiring?Uninspiring?Thereareplentyofexamplesofgreatleadersandbadleaders.Whereveryoustandonthespectrumofgreat-to-poorleadersandwhateveryourdefinitionofleadershipis,Iwouldhaveonequestionforyou:Howisthatworkingforyou?Ifeverythingisgoingperfectly,keepupthegoodwork.Formostleaders,thereareopportunitiesforimprovementsomewhereintheirskillset.
Despitethecomplexityofleadership,thereseemtobesomecommonattributes,skills,andcharacteristicsamonggreatleaders.Leadershavetobetechnicallycompetent.Buttechnicalcompetencecanbebothahindranceandarequirementtobeagreatleader.
Irefertotechnicalcompetenceasacriticalpartofyourleadershipfoundationbecauseyouhavetohavetechnicalcompetenceandunderstandthebusinessyouareinbeforeyoucanbealeader.Atthesametime,asyoutakeonleadership
responsibilities,youwillhavetoletgoofsomeofyourtechnicalresponsibilities—thatwhichgotyouhere—inordertoembraceleadership.Youneedtotaketimetounderstandthevariousaspectsofthebusinessyouarein,thecompetitivelandscape,andtheoperatingenvironmentinordertomakegood,fundamentallysound,andrelevantbusinessdecisions.
Technicalcompetencecanbeabarriertogreatleadershipfortworeasons.First,beingtechnicallycompetentdoesnotautomaticallyensureleadershipcompetence.Ihaveseenthisfirsthandonnumerousoccasionswhereaperfectlycapableemployeegetspromotedintoaleadershippositionandfailsasaleader.Second,leaderswithtechnicalexpertisemayhaveadifficulttimelettinggooftheirtechnicalresponsibilities.Ihaveseenleaderscontinuetospendtimeonaspectsoftheirjobthattheyshoulddelegate.Greatleadersneedtofocusonleadership.
Greatleadershiprequiresprovidingvisionanddirection.Itrequiresmotivatingandinspiringpeopletoworktowardthevision.Itrequiresdevelopingotherpeople.Anditrequiresachievingresults.Inshort,leadershipisaboutpeople.Yourabilitytoconnectwithpeoplecanmakeallthedifferencebetweengreatandpoorleadership.Wherethisgetsparticularlycomplexisthatdifferentpeoplehavedifferentneeds,andthoseneedsmayshiftovertime,alongwithahostofotherchangingvariables.Leadershipisadynamic,movingtargetthatrequiresyoutobethoughtfulandpreparedinyourapproach.Yourleadershipstoryservesasananchorandfoundationforyouractionsasaleader.
Greatleadershaveaplan,andalsotheyaregreatimprovisers.Justasagoodactorhastoimproviseonstageifsomethingunplannedhappens,greatbusinessleaders,asimprovisers,aretheactor,writer,anddirectoroftheirstory.Theymustactinthemoment.Aswriter,theymustinitiateideas.Andasdirector,theymustprovideabiggerviewandfacilitateroomforideas,creativity,andaction.
WHYFOCUSONYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY?Youaretheactor,writer,anddirectorofyourleadershipstory.Youactinthemoment,initiateideas,provideabiggerview,andallowforideasandcreativity.Understandingandcommunicatingyourleadershipstorycanbequitepowerful.Itprovidesclarityaroundwhatyoustandforasaleader.Itkeepsalivethepeople,values,andlifelessonsthatyouholddear.Itgivesyouthepowerofinfluenceandauthenticitybyallowingyoutomatchyourwordsandyouractions.Itallowsyoutobuildtrust.Trustleadstocredibility.
Byhelpingyoutounderstandwhathasshapedyouasaleader,yourleadershipstorycanmakethestrongemotionalconnectionthatisnecessaryto
leadershipstorycanmakethestrongemotionalconnectionthatisnecessarytoinspireandmotivateothers.Itcanalsobeausefultoolwithwhichtoimpartknowledgeandlessonstoothers—tohelpthemlearnfromtheexperiencesthathaveshapedyourleadershipstory.Anditprovidesyouandotherswithinsightsintowhatyouholdimportantasaleader.
Byunderstandingyourleadershipstory,youwillhavegreaterself-awarenessandfewerblindspots.Itwillalsoprovideastartingpointforyouasyoucontinuetodevelopasaleader.Itwillguideyouinmodifyingyourstorysothatyoucanbeabetterleader.Whenyoueffectivelycommunicateyourleadershipstory,youandotherswillhaveclarityaboutyourexpectationsasaleader.
Leadershipisajourneythatinvolvesthepast,thepresent,andthefuture.Onceuponatime,yourleadershipstorywasablankpagefilledwithhopes,dreams,opportunities,andinspiration.Formany,thosehopesanddreamsincludedbeingagreatleader.Asyouhaverealizedsomehopesanddreams,andhavelearnedmorethroughexperienceaboutwhatmakesagreatleader,perhapsneworrevisedideasaroundbeingagreatleaderhavesprungup.
Whathascontributedtotheevolutionofyournotionsaboutleadership?Whathassupportedyouinyourpersonalquesttobeagreatleader?Whathasinhibitedyoufrombeingyourbest?Lookingahead,whatareyoupreparedtodotobethebestleaderyoucanbe?
Mysix-year-olddaughterrecentlytoldmesomethingprofoundandrelevanttounderstandingourleadershipstory.Shesaid,“Firstyouplantaseed.Thenyounourishit.Thenitsprouts.Thenitgrows.Finally,itturnsintoaflower.”
Ournourishmentforgrowthanddevelopmentconsistsofreflection,action,andinsights.Let’sfaceit—weoperateinaveryaction-orientedenvironment.Wespendmoretimeonactionandresultsthatrewardus,andfarlesstimeonthinkingandreflecting.Reflectionisaprocessofunderstandingwhathappenedandwhy.Itcreatesself-awareness.Alackofself-awarenessleadstoblindspots,andattheleastitputsyouatadisadvantageasaleader.
Who’sgottimeforthisreflectionandself-awareness?Iwouldrestatethat:Whohastimetogetleadershipwrong?Whenyoucombineself-awarenesswithawillingnesstostretchoutsideyourcomfortzone,youwillseethegreatestbreakthroughsandmaximizeyourleadershippotential.
Learningplaysakeyroleindevelopingyourstory.Reflectionisaboutaskingyourselfquestions.Itmayrequirethinkingdifferentlyandtakingactioninordertobuildcapability.Onceyouhavemasteredyourleadershipstory,youwillmakestrongerconnectionsandinspire,energize,andmotivatethoseyoulead.Youwillbeabetterleader.
WhenIrunworkshopsforleaders,attheendofthesession,Iaskthegroupasimplequestion:“Sowhat?”Sowhatdidyoulearnfromthis?Andsowhatareyougoingtodowithit?Iaskforonlyafewofthekeyconceptstheylearned,asIhavefoundthattobemorerealisticininitiatingchange.Ifyougaininsightswithoutaction,thisbookwillbeonlypartiallyuseful.However,ifyougaininsightsandtakeaction,thisbookwillbemuchmoreusefulandpotentiallytransformational.Whenyoufinishthisbook,askyourselfthesamequestions:WhatdidIlearn—aboutmyself,aboutleadership,andaboutmyleadershipstory?AndwhatamIwillingandpreparedtodoaboutit?
TheDrivingCatalyst
Whathappenstopeopletomakethemwanttolead—andleadsuccessfully?Mydaughterwouldsayitwasaseedthatgotplantedinsidethem.Saidanotherway,what’stheinstigation,thedriver,theprompt,orthescriptchangethatalteredhowtheyactedasaleader?Whatflippedtheswitch?Wasitsomedramaticturningpoint?Somechangeofheartorviewpoint,ordidtheyreceivesomelife-changingcriticism?Somewhereintheircareerdevelopmentsomethingchanged,andtheyfoundthemselveswithanewcompass.
Howoftenhaveyouheardsomeoneask,“Whatdrivesthatguy,anyhow?”WhenPaulO’NeilltookoverasCEOofAlcoain1987,hefacedaserious
leadershipwall.Trustatplantswaslackingbecauseofequipmentsafetyfailures.Unionswantedaction,especiallybecauseplantmanagersdidnotenforcesafetyrules.WhatdidO’NeillchooseasthedriverforhisleadershipofthesprawlingAlcoa?Workersafety.Hegavehishomephonenumbertoworkerstocallifsomethingwasbrokenorunsafe.Plantmanagerslearnedquicklythattheycouldbefiredforcoveringupasafetyviolation.BythetimeO’Neillleftthecompanyin2000,trustandqualityhadimproved,andsohadrevenue.Theannualnetincomewasfivetimeshigherthanin1987.Andhestartednotwithquarterlynumbersandstockvaluebutwithworkersafety.
NelsonMandelaturnedhis27yearsinprisonintoadriveforracialreconciliationinSouthAfrica.Hehadthevotestobecomepresidentandcouldhavechosenrevenge.Hedidnot,andthecountrywasbetterforit.
HowardSchultz,legendaryStarbucksCEO,neverforgothowhisfatherhadbeenfiredafterbreakinghislegonadeliveryroute.Thefamilylostitsincomeanditshealthcare.Schultz’sdrivewastocreateasuccessfulcompanythatgaveallemployeeshealth-carebenefits.
Iwanttohelpyouidentifythatdriver,thatseedasmydaughtercallsit,thatdramaticchangethatcanhelpyouwriteyourleadershipstory.Onthatbasis,wecandevelopthestory’splotinchapter2,Step1.
IntroducingBob
Butfirst,let’sintroducethesubjectofourrunningcasestudy,Bob.Bobworksinalargeserviceorganization,andhe’shadseveralsuchjobsutilizinghisexpertiseinotherfirms.Bobisaninnovativethinker,acreativeperson,who,whenlefttohisspace,comesupwithgreatideas.ButasIindicatedintheintroduction,hewantstodeterminewhetherheshouldcontinueasheisinhisprofessionortakeonmoreduties.Ishereadytobealeader?Hisanxietystemsfromatruedilemma:this…orthat,andishetakingontoomuch?
“Tim,I’vehadagreatruninmyprofession.I’veworkedformanycompanies.Eachgavemewidelatitudetocreatenewstuff,andIlikethat.ButIamjumpingaroundalot.Fiveemployersinthelast15years.It’stakingatollonmyfamily.”
“Whydidyouleaveeachcompany,Bob?”Iaskedhim.“Well,otherswerebeingtappedforbiggerprojects,soIfigureditwastime
tomoveon.What’smore,eachnewcompanywasinadifferentmarketspace,anditseemedlikeagoodwaytolearn.”
“OK,butwhatIamhearingisthis:youwanttosettledownalittle,onthepersonallevel,sowhatdoyouwanttogiveup?”
“IguessIhavetogiveupthethrillofmyownpetprojectsandbecomeateamleader.ButrecentlyabunchofmypeersandItookaleisurelyFridaylunchafterIannouncedthatIwasleavingthecompany.Conversationstartedwithquestionsaboutthenewjobandthendriftedtoprojectsandpromotionsatmycurrentfirm.Istartedtalkingaboutmyprojects.“Youguysaretakingonbiggerprojectswithmoreadminstuff,butIamofftolearnanewbusiness.”
“Stoprightthere,Bob.Howdidyourlunchmatesreacttothatstatement?”Iasked.
“Well,Iaskedwhytheyweredoingthat,givinguptheirownautonomyandall.ButIguesstheimplicationofmyquestionjustploppeddownrightonthetableandkindofsatthere:whynotme?Anuneasysilencecameoverthegroup.Theystarted,youknow,checkingtheiriPhonesandfidgeting.”
“Afterthedeadair,didanyonesayanythingmore?”Iasked.“Oneguysmiledkindofweaklyandsaidsomethingaboutthevalueoflarger
“Oneguysmiledkindofweaklyandsaidsomethingaboutthevalueoflargerteams,somethinglikerunningabigteamdevelopsmorewinnersandinnovators,andmostcompanieswantthat.Headded,‘Butittakespeoplewhocanlead.It’sonethingtobeatechnocratorexpertinyourprofession,butit’sabiggerthingtobecomealeaderofotherexperts.’ThenhesaidsomethingIhaveneverheardoforthoughtofbefore.Hesaid,‘Bob,youhavetodevelopanewprofession—leadership.Notjustprojectmanagement.Notjustmanagingacoupleofpeople.Strategicleadership.’
“Andthenanotherguyatthetablesaiditmoreemphatically.HetoldmethatIneededtogoafterandbeginleadingbigteamswhereIwouldsetthevision,motivateanddeveloptheteammembers—anddeliverbigresults.Hesaidthatforbigcompanies,it’spureeconomics,likethemultipliereffect.”
“Howdidthatonehityou,Bob?”Iasked.“Well,thethirdguypipedup.Icouldtellhewasrealuncomfortable,you
know,scrunchinguphismouth.HesaidIhadthereputationofbeingaloneranger,acontrolfreak.Theotherssmileduneasilyatthatone.Wow.IhadnoideaIwasperceivedthatway.Iwasshocked.Itwasquiteanawakening,likethemirrorjustgotrefocusedrightinfrontofme.”
“Sodidthatcasuallunchbecomeaturningpointforyou?”“Itsurelydid.Tim,IamrealizingsomethingIhadn’tthoughtaboutbefore.
Expertiseisoneprofession,buteventuallyyouhavetoapplyyourindividualexpertisetotheleadershipofothers—teams,sometimesbigteams—tobecomereally,reallyvaluable.Ihavetostopbeingaloneranger.I’vegottolearnhowtoleadstrategicteams.Bybeingabetterleadermyself,Iwillhavethepotentialtogetgreaterresultsandtohaveagreaterimpactonothers.Thatcanbealotofpressure.ButIamnotsureIcanrisetothatlevelofresponsibility.CanIbecomethatbigaleader?DoIhavetherightstuff—orshouldIstickwiththepathIamon?Canyouwalkmethroughyourprocess?”
WewillvisitwithBobaswewalkhim,andyou,thereader,througheachstep.Itmaynotbeacompletelysunnywalk,butyouwillbegratefulfortheexercise.
CHAPTERII
UnderstandingandAligningYourLeadershipStory
Yourleadershipstoryiscomplexanddynamic.Sinceleadershipisajourneythatinvolvesthepast,present,andfuture,yourleadershipstoryevolves.Itistheresultofnumerousfactorsovertime.Thegoodnews?Yourleadershipstoryhasdevelopedandwillcontinuetodevelop.Thissuggeststhatyouhavetheabilitytoreflectonandlearnfromthepast.Italsosuggeststhatyouhavetheabilitytoshapethefutureofyourleadershipstory.Doingsowilltakeworkandcommitmentonyourpart.Italsorequiresthatyoustartwithaframeworkinwhichtothinkaboutyourleadershipstory.
Tounderstandorwriteastory,aswealllearnedinliteratureclasses,youhavetoconsiderseveralelementsofyourstoryandprovidedetailsthatwillhelpittohavethedesiredimpact.
ButdonotmisinterpretwhatIamsaying.Byputtingforththesestoryelements,Iamnotencouragingyoutofictionalizeyourlife.Rather,youareusingthemastoolstounderstandhowyourstorymightwellvaryfromhowothersdescribeyourleadership.Youshouldnothavetwoleadershipstoriescontradictingeachother.Whenthathappens,youwillbeperceivedaslackingauthenticity.Overtime,itwilldraintheenergyandmotivationfromthoseyoulead.What’smore,yourtruestory,yourfullerstory,goesbeyondyoursurfaceappearancetoyourmoredeeplyheldvalues,beliefs,andactions.
WhatMakesaGoodStory?
Everystoryhasseveralkeycomponents:plot,characters,conflict,theme,andsetting.Yourleadershipstoryisnodifferent.Foryourleadershipstorytobe
setting.Yourleadershipstoryisnodifferent.Foryourleadershipstorytobeauthentic,youneedtoadddetailsandfeelingsforrichnessaroundeachelement,andyouneedyourperceptionstobealignedwithothers’perceptions.
Everyleadershipstorymusthaveaplot.Step1focusesontheplotofyourleadershipstory.Withinthiscontext,yourplotiswhyyoudowhatyoudo.Itfocusesonwhatprovidesyouwithasenseofpurpose.Itiswhatinspiresandmotivatesyou.Itclarifiesandreinforcesyourvaluesasaleader.Youhavetoknowwhereyouaregoing,ornoonewillfollowyou.Thisisthestartingpointforunderstandingyourviewsofyourleadershipstory.Butknowingwhereyouwanttogoandwhatdrivesyouisonlyonepartoftheequation.Youalsohavetoknowwhatisimportanttoothers,asthiswillshapetheirinterpretationsofyourstory.
Storiesarefilledwithcharacters.Youarethecentralcharacterofyourownleadershipstory.Tobeeffectiveasaleader,youneedtocreateaconnectiontotheothercharacters.Step2exploresthecharactersandnatureofyourrelationshipsinyourstory.Theothercharactersinyourleadershipstorycanserveaschampions,orprotagonists,ortheycanbedetractors,orantagonists.Whenyou’reseekingtounderstandothers’perceptionsofyourstory,thecharactersarethestartingpoint.Youmustidentifywhothekeycharactersofyourstoryare,whattheirroleis,andtheirperceptionsofyourstory.
Nostorywouldbecompletewithoutconflict.Conflictrevealsthestruggle.Thestruggleinyourleadershipstorycanbewithpeopleoruncertaintyaroundyourplot,tasks,andresources,tonameafewexamples.Withregardtoyourleadershipstory,leadershipisnotjustaboutgettingresults;itisabouthowyoudoso.InStep3,wewillexpandontheroleofconflictinyourleadershipstory.
Thethemeofastoryisthemainidea.Inyourleadershipstory,thethemecomesthroughintheformofbehaviors,skills,andhabits.Step4delvesintotheroleofthemeinyourleadershipstory.Itlooksathowyouthinkyouaredoinginkeyareasofleadership,aswellashowothersthinkyouaredoing.
Storiestakeplaceinasetting.Itcanbeasinglesettingoravarietyofsettings.Inyourleadershipstory,thesettingcanplayacriticalroleinshapingyourplot,introducingyoutocharacters,anddevelopingyourtheme.InStep5,wewillexploretheroleofsettinginyourleadershipstory.Wewillexaminetheelementsthatallowyoutobeatyourbest,aswellashowyoucontributetoothers’beingattheirbest.
STEP1
DefineYourPlot
Yourplotistheinspirationbehindyouraction.Itanswersthequestionofwhyyoudowhatyoudo.Itisthefoundationofyourleadershipstory.Thisisalsoreferredtoasyourmissionorpurpose,anditislikelydrivenbywhatyouvalue,orholdimportant.Understandingyourpurposeasaleadercanhaveprofoundimpactonyouandthosearoundyou.Further,whatothersaroundyouvaluewillhaveaprofoundimpactonhowtheyinterpretyourstory.
Besidesbeinghighlyenlighteningandpersonallymotivationaltothosearoundyou,theplotprovidesclarityaroundyourintentandhelpsguideyourdecisions.Itcanprovideinspirationforyouandthosearoundyou.Andthatinspirationandenergycanbecontagious.
Alongtheselines,yourroleasaleaderistoinstillasenseofpurpose.Yourplot,ifwelldefinedandarticulated,canalsobeasourceofinspirationforothers.Ontheotherhand,ifyourpurposeisnotwelldefinedoryoudon’tbelieveinyourpurpose,thenhowcanyouexpectotherstobelieveinit?Howcanyouexpectotherstobeinspiredortofollowyou?
Inadditiontoreflectingyourmissionorpurpose,yourplotislargelydrivenbyyourvalues.Yourcorevaluesareyourfundamentalbeliefsthatdriveyourperformance.Ihaveheardcorevaluesreferredtoasguidingprinciples.Theyareattheheartofyourleadershipstoryandwilldriveyouridentityasaleader.Intheactivitiesbelow,youwillhavetheopportunitytoreflectonyourcorevalues,orguidingprinciples.
Itypicallyhearcertainquestionsatthispoint:WhydoIneedapersonalmission,andwhathappensifIdon’thaveone?Whatisthebenefitofexpressingmypersonalmissiontoothers?DoIreallyhavetodeclarewhatmymissionandvaluesare,andhowandwhendoIdoso?
Johntackledsimilarquestions.Healwaysdidwellinhisjob.Hehadstudiedbusinessinschool,tookajobinthefinancedepartmentofhiscompany,andwasprogressinginhiscareer.Hewaspersonable,heshowedinitiative,andthequalityofhisworkwasalwaysaboveaverage.Hehadfourjunioremployeesasdirectreports,buthealwayshadanuneasyfeelingabouthisroleasaleader.Hefeltasthoughhewasjustgoingthroughthemotions,andhewasn’tevensureiftheyweretherightmotions.Asaresult,theenergyofhisteamwasflat—asiftheywerejustgoingthroughthemotions,too.
Bychance,oneofhiscolleagues,Susan,invitedhimtobeaguestspeakeratherteammeeting.Ashesatthroughthemeeting,heobservedsomethinghehadnotexperiencedinteammeetingsbefore.Therewasapalpableenergyinthe
notexperiencedinteammeetingsbefore.Therewasapalpableenergyintheroom.Everyonewaslisteningintently,providingfeedbackinanopen,constructivedialogue.Italmostseemedasthoughtheywerehavingfun.Hecouldn’thelpbutnoticethatSusan’steamwasevenmoreupbeatoutsideofthemeetings.Soitwasn’tjustabouthavingfunmeetings.
JohnwantedtoknowwhatenergizedSusan’steamsomuch.Amonthafterobservingherteaminavarietyofworksettings,hefinallyaskedherwhatthetrickwasformakinghermeetingssopositive.Sheclaimedthattherewasnotrick—theywereallworkingtowardthesamegoal.
Susanexplainedthatshehaddonethreethings,shortlyaftertakingovertheteam,thatbecametherallyingcryoranchorforhowtheteamworked.First,shewrotedownwhatshepersonallywantedtoaccomplishasaleader:shewantedtobealeaderwhoprovidedgrowthanddevelopmentopportunitiesforherteam,andwhointroducedsolutionsthataddedvaluetothebusiness.Second,shewrotedownwhatshethoughtwasimportanttogettingtheworkdone.Shewrotedownthingslikefun(notsurprisingly),respect,collaboration,andexpertise.Sheexplainedthatshesharedthesewithherteamandsaid,“Thatishowwewillgetourworkdone,andwecanallholdeachothertoit.”Andthird,shesetouttolearnmoreaboutthemonapersonallevelandtoheardirectlyaboutindividuals’interestsandgoals.Shescheduledameetingwitheverypersononherteam.Itwasabigundertakingandtooktimeoverandabovetheprojectworkshewasresponsiblefor.
JohnthoughtaboutwhatSusantoldhim.Hehadneverconsideredthisapproachbefore.Buthefigured,whynotgiveitatry?Writingdownthequalitiesoftheleaderhewantedtobeprovedmoredifficultthanhehadimagined.Hereallystruggledwithit.Butaftertwomonthsandseveraliterations,hefeltthathehadsomethinghewascomfortablewith.
Atthenextmeetingwithhisteam,heexplainedthathehadnotgivenleadership—particularlyhisownleadership—muchattentionbutthathehadbeenworkingonitoverthelastcoupleofmonths.Hetoldhisteamthathewantedtochange—tobeabetterleader,notjustforhimselfbutforthem—andthathewasgoingtoneedtheirhelp.Heunveiledhismissionstatementandsharedhisvaluesconcerninghowtheworkwasgoingtogetdone.Oneofhisvalueswascollaboration.So,truetohisword,heaskedforfeedback.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTPLOT1.Whathasbeenmostrewardinginyourcareer?Why?2.Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwantto
2.Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwanttomakeadifference/haveimpact?
3.Whatisimportanttoyouasaleader?Why?4.Whatinspiresandenergizesyouasaleader?5.Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplishasaleader?
ActivitiestoBuildandRefineYourPlot
Thefirsttwoactivitiesinthissection—DefineLeadershipandWhatDoYouValue?—areadaptedfromSteveArneson’sbookBootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeChargeandMoveUp.3TheyaresoimportanttothefoundationofdevelopingyourleadershipstorythatIincludedthemhere.Thefifthactivity—You’reonaMission—isadaptedfromJimLoehr’sbookThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessandinLife.4LoehrhasagreatframeworkandtakesabroaderviewofstorythanIdohere.Whereashefocusesonyourlifestory,Iamfocusedonunderstandinganddevelopingyourleadershipstory.
Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers
DefineLeadership✓ ✓
WhatDoYouValue?✓ ✓
SolidGrounds✓
GetExcited✓
You’reonaMission✓
DEFINELEADERSHIPTherearecountlessdefinitionsofleadershipintextbooksandontheInternet.I
TherearecountlessdefinitionsofleadershipintextbooksandontheInternet.Iamnotsuggestingthatyoureciteanyorallofthem,butitisimportant,asaleader,foryoutoidentifywhatyoubelieveleadershipmeans.Itshouldbeinherentlyyourpointofview.Youshouldbaseitonyourpersonalexperienceaswellasonanybooksyouhaveread,storiesyouarefamiliarwith,orinsightsyouhavegainedfromothers.
Thinkaboutwhatitmeansforyoutobealeaderofotherpeople.Whataretheexpectationsthatgoalongwiththat?Whataretheskillsrequiredtoleadeffectively?Whatdoyouviewasthemostimportantaspectsofbeingaleader?Onceyouhavewrittentheseideasdown,besuretorevisitthem,andbepreparedtosharethemwithothers.
Tobeaneffectiveleadermeansto
Youwillbegivingsomeoftheactivitiesinthisbooktootherpeoplewiththeaimofinitiatingaconversationthatwillhelpyoutobetterunderstandhowyouareperceivedbyothers.Thefirstistoaskselectindividuals—includingdirectreports,peers,andyourboss—howtheythinkyoudefineleadership.Thesecondistoaskthemhowtheydefineleadership.Itshouldbeaguidedconversation.Thefirstapproachshouldbeutilizedwhereyouareanestablishedleader.Itprovidesinsightsintohowyouractionsandprioritiesarebeingperceived.Thesecondcouldbeusedforneworestablishedteams.Itprovidesinsightsintohowyourviewsalignwithothers’andlendsitselftoestablishingacommonleadershiplanguageamongyourteam.
HowdoyouthinkIdefineleadership?
Whatdoyouthinkitmeanstobeaneffectiveleader?
WHATDOYOUVALUE?Thisactivityconsistsofthreeparts.Thefirstrequiresabitofreflectiononwhatyoubelieveasaleader.Whatfundamentallydrivesyourbehaviorsanddecisionsthatyouareunwillingtocompromise?Thesecondpartrequiresgatheringobservationsofhowothersviewwhatyouvalueasaleader.Itwillhelpillustratewhatgetsrewardedandwhatisdiscouragedbyyou.Andthethirdpartinvolvesaction.
Inordertocreatealevelofaccountabilityandownership,onceyouhavedefinedyourcorevaluesandunderstandhowothersperceivethosevalues,youneedtocommunicatethem.Irecommendstartingwithyourteam.Letthemknowwhatyouvalue;andwherethereismisalignment,establishaplanforactingdifferently.
Forthisactivity,thinkaboutwhatisimportanttoyouaboutleadingotherpeople.Howdoyouvalueinterpersonalinteraction?Whatpersonalitycharacteristicsortraitsdoyouholdinhighregard?Isthereanythingaboutworkingwithateamthatyouholdimportant?Otherworkprocesses?Outcomes?Doesanythingoutsideofworkfactorintoyourvalues?
Itmayhelptothinkaboutasituationinwhichyouwerefacedwithadifficultdecisionorsomeotherchallengeyouneededtoworkthrough.Howyoumadeyourdecision,whetherornotyouwereawareofit,mayhavebeendrivenlargelybyyourcorevalues.Remember,thesearetrulyyours—whatyouholdasimperativeandareunwillingtocompromiseorwaverabout.Mostpeoplehave5to10corevalues,althoughyoucanhavemoreorless.
Asaleader,Ivalue…
Wherethereisalackofalignment,whatwillIdodifferently?
SOLIDGROUNDAsaleader,youwilllikelyberequiredtocompromiseonsomeissues.Youwillhavetotakeastandorhaveapositionaboutvarioussubjects.Youshouldhaveaclearunderstandingofthosethingsonwhichyouareunwillingtocompromise.Thatisanaturalpartofleadership.Anditisyourjobasleadertobuildthebestcultureyoucan—onethatisproductive,collaborative,flexible,andfair,anddeliversresultsthatmatter.
Aspartofthis,youmayfindafewareasinwhichyouareunwillingtocompromise.Theseusuallycenteronyourcorevalues.Thelikelihoodisthatyoucanactoutofyourcorevaluesinavarietyofwayswithouthavingtocompromisethem.Forthisactivity,writedownthosefewareasthatareanchorstoyourleadershipstory—thatyouareunwillingtocompromiseon.
Asanexample,youmayvaluecollaborationandteamwork.Ifyouareworkingonaprojectthatisnotexhibitingthelevelofteamworkyouwouldlike,youmightsaysomething.Butyoucouldlikelyadapttothesituationwithoutcompromisingyourvalues.Ontheotherhand,ifyouseeindividualstakingcreditforworkthatisn’ttheirs,ortheyareotherwisenotgivingcreditforworkdoneasagroup,youmightfindthatunacceptableandbeyondcompromise.
Takealookbackatyourcorevaluesasastartingpointandwritedown(a)thosecriticalareasthatyouholdsacred,(b)whatspecificallyyouwilldotoreinforcethepositiveaspectsofthosebehaviors,and(c)howyouwouldhandleabreachofthosebehaviors.
GETEXCITEDIrecentlymetsomebodyforthefirsttimeataconference.Wegotintoabriefconversationaboutwhowewere,whatwedid,andhowwehadarrivedatthispointinourcareers.Asweeachtookturnsdiscussingourbackground(orstory),Inoticedtwoveryinterestingpoints.Asweeachtoldourstory,wechosetohighlightcertainaspectsand,speakingformyself,leftoutaconsiderableamount.IwonderedwhyIchosetohighlightwhatIdid.Clearly,whenmeetingsomeoneforthefirsttime,youdon’twanttogiveeverylastdetailofyourstory.Howdoyoudeterminewhatyouwouldliketoshareaboutyourself?Thesecondinterestingobservationwasthatweeachexpressedenthusiasmaroundcertainaspectsofourstory.Ihadneverthoughtaboutthatbefore.Ishouldpointoutthatweaskedeachotherquestionssuchas“Whatdidyoudothere?”“Whydidyouleavethatjob?”“Whatdidyoulove(ornot)aboutthatjob?Aboutyourcurrentjob?”
Hereisyourchancetothinkaboutwhatyou’reenthusiasticabout.Forthisactivity,thinkbacktoyourjourneythusfar.Writeabriefstoryofwhatgotyoutothispoint.Imaginethatyouaretellingsomeoneaboutyourpathtowhereyouaretoday.Whatdoyouhighlight?Whatdoyougetexcitedabout?Listwhatinspiresandmotivatesyouaboutyourworkandbeingaleader.Whenitcomestoyourlist,morespecificitywillallowyoutomakeapersonalconnectionwithyourownstory.Also,focusingonthepositivescangeneratesomeexcitementandpossibleclarityaroundwhatenergizesyou.
YOU’REONAMISSIONEarlyinmycareer,IalwayswonderedwhyIhadaslightlyuneasyfeelingaboutit.Iwaschallenged.Iwaslearningalot.IwascontributinginthefieldIhadpreparedfor.OrsoIthought.
Itwasn’tuntilmanyyearsintomycareerthatItookthetimetothinkaboutwhatItrulylovedtodoatwork.TheworkIhadbeendoingwasnotfarofffrommytruemission,whichmayormaynothavehelpedbecauseIdidnotfeelsodisorientedaboutmyworkthatIhadtochange.Iwasjustalittleuneasyabout
disorientedaboutmyworkthatIhadtochange.Iwasjustalittleuneasyaboutmycareer.IwasdoingworkIthoughtIwassupposedtodo,basedonmyeducation,myexperience,andwhatotherpeoplethoughtIshoulddo.ItwasnotwhatItrulywantedtodo.
Ihadnopersonalleadershipmissionstatementandhadnevergivenitathought.Myleadershipstoryandcareerwereoncruisecontrol.ItwasnotuntilIwasupforapromotion—whichIthoughtIwantedbecauseIshouldbemovingupinmycareer—thatIrealizeditwasnotwhatIwantedatall.Thepromotionwouldhavetakenmefurtherawayfromtheworkthatenergizedmethemost.Iaskedmyself,“WhatisitthatIreallywanttodo?”Sometimes,bylookingatwhatyoudon’twanttodo,youcanbegintonarrowdownwhatyoudowanttodo.
Itookthetimetowritemypersonalleadershipmissionstatement.Ithasgonethroughacoupleofiterations,butIhavefoundittobefairlydurable.Yourpersonalleadershipmissionstatementcanbepowerfulforyouandforothers.Itcanprovideclarityofpurposeanddirectyourenergy.Itcanmotivateandinspireothersaswell.
Asluckwouldhaveit,Iwasabletotryoutsomeprojectsinmythen-currentrolethatweremuchclosertomyinterest.Ithinkthesayingis“Likeaducktowater.”Myideasexpanded,asdidmyenergy.Havingthatclarityallowedmetomakethedecisiontodomoreoftheworkthatinspiredandmotivatedmeandothers.Anddoyouknowwhat?Myenergyandenthusiasmgrewandbecamecontagious.
Makenomistake,thechangewasrisky.IrealizedthatIcouldfurtherclarifymymissionstatementwithmoreexperienceandinsights.AndIamalwaysfine-tuninghowIenactmymission.
Writeyourpersonalleadershipmissionstatement.Thisshouldnotbeasummaryoftheworkyoudotoday;rather,itshouldbeanaspirationalstatementthatgetsyouexcitedtoleadpeopleanddoyourwork.Itisacombinationoflookingbackatwhathasinspiredyouinthepastandlookingforwardatwhatyouwillstrivetobeasaleader.Considerthefollowingquestions:
•Whatdoyouwanttoaccomplishasaleaderaboveallelse?•Whatareyoudedicatedtoasaleader?•Wheredoyoubringthegreatestvalue?•Whatprovidesyouwiththegreatestsenseofsatisfactionasaleader?•Howdoyouwanttoberememberedasaleader?
•Whatistheleadershiplegacyyouwanttoleave?•Whatimpactdoyouwanttohaveonothers?
Note:Effectivemissionstatementsarestraightforward,onetothreesentencesmax.Yourmissionshouldhavetwoparts.Thefirstpartshouldfocusonthecontributionyouwanttomake:whatyouwanttoaccomplishandforwhom.Youshouldincludeaverbandwriteitinthepresenttense.Thesecondpartofyourmissionstatementshouldconveythepurposebehindwhyyoulead.Whatimpactwillyouhaveontheaudience?Thinkintermsofresults,impact,andlegacy.
Personalmissionstatementscanberefinedovertime,butyouhavetostartsomewhere.
Mypersonalmissionisto…
QuickTips
ToBuildandRefineYourPlot1.Youmustknowwhatyoubelieveinandwhereyouwanttogoasaleaderinorderforotherstobeinspiredtofollow.
2.Identifywhatinspiresandenergizesyouaboutyourwork.3.Sharingyourpointofviewwithotherswillholdyouaccountable.
BobPondersHisPlot
OurcolleagueBobhasbeenlow-keysincethatfatefullunch.Low-keyatbest,blownawayatworst.
“Tim,thisplotthing.Iknowwhatastoryplotis.Everyonedoes.ButI’vehadagoodcareer,andmyrésumésaysthat.Iholdcertificationinmyfield.There.Isyourleadershipstoryjustalongerversionof
résumésaysthat.Iholdcertificationinmyfield.There.Isyourleadershipstoryjustalongerversionofyourelevatorspeech?”
“Astoryhastobeinteresting,Bob.Itcontainsfacts,yes,butitalsocontainsqualitativethingsthatspeaktoemotions—yoursandthoseofthefolksaroundyou,”Itoldhim.“Ithastohaveelementsthatpeoplenotice,grabonto,andaskyouabout.”
“Givemesomecolorandflavorhere,”Bobaskedsomewhatimpatiently.“OK,whatismorefun—managingprojectafterproject,smalltacticalprojects,alldonewell,Iamsure?
Orabiggame-changingproject?Maybe“project”istoolimitedaterm.Whichsuccesswouldmakeforabetterleadershipstory,Bob?Andwhowouldn’twanttobeledbyagame-changingleaderonasignificantstrategiceffort?SteveJobsdidn’tleadprojects.SteveJobsreinventedentireaspectsofourlives.Andheledenergizedpeople.Hewasatough,demandingboss,butlookwhathedid,andlookatthetalenthedeveloped.Thinkofitthisway:Managingisaboutspreadsheets.We’renottalkingprojectmanagementhere.Leadershipisaboutthepotentialforevolution.Thattakesvisionandtheabilitytofosterfollowership.Inspiredleadershipinvolvesinspiredfollowership.Soyourleadershipstoryhastohaveaplotthatisdistinctive.It’snotjustnumbers;it’semotions.”
“Goodexamples,Tim.ButI’mnotacrusaderorrevolutionary.Ihaven’tinventedanythingyet.”“Butyouhaveaviewofhowyourprofessionoperatesandperhapscouldoperatedifferently.Maybeyou
haveadifferentfocalpoint.”“Well,sure,Ido,butitneveroccurredtomethatpointofviewwassomethingaboutleadership.”“Yourlunchmatesthatdaymayagree.Whatdrivesyourpointofview,andhowdidyoureachit?What
wastheturningpoint,orwhathappened?Whathityou?Andwhywouldn’tyouwanttoinductothers,sotospeak,intothesametourdeforce?”
STEP2
IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters
Asaleader,youneedtounderstandtheroleofcharactersinyourstory,theroleofperceptions,whoyourprotagonistsandantagonistsare,andtheimpactyouhaveonothersandothersonyou.Whyshouldyoucareaboutsomeabstractioncalledcharacters?Becausetheyarerealandconcreteandallaroundyou.What’smore,youareoneofthemaincharacters,butnottheonlyone.
Thisaspectofyourleadershipstoryisaboutboththequalityandquantityofyourrelationships.Itisalsoimportantthatyoubuildstrongrelationshipswiththecharactersaroundyou,learnfromthem,andexpressyourgratitude.
Asaleader,youmaybecalledupontobeheroic.Youmayneedtomakedifficultdecisionsandhavedifficultconversations,tobelieveinotherswhentheydonotbelieveinthemselves,toinspireandmotivate,andtohelppeopleachievegreatnessandattaintheirfullestpotential.Buthowyoudothismakesadifference.Whenitcomestoyourpersonalleadershipstory,whoareyourheroes?Andtowhomareyouahero?
Leadershipisnotabouttellingpeoplewhattodoorhavingthemadjusttoyourstyle.Leadershipisaboutpeople.Itrequiresagreatdealofawarenessofselfandothers.Itrequiresemotionalintelligence.Emotionalintelligencereferstoyourabilitytorecognizeandconsideryouremotionsandfeelingsaswellasthefeelingsofothers.TheconceptwaspopularizedbyDanielGolemaninhisbookEmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ.5Thismaybemoreimportantthaneverforleadersinouraction-oriented,technology-basedculture.
Sure,youcanprobablygetthejobdonewithlittleattentiontothecharacters—whotheyareorwhattheyneed.Buthoweffectivewillitbe?Andcouldithavebeenalittlebetterifyouhadincludedafocusonthecharacters?Understandingthecharactersisaboutrelationships—whomyouhavethemwithandhowyoucultivatethem.Youarethemaincharacterinyourleadershipstory,butothersplayanimportantroleinyourleadershipstoryaswell.Itisprofoundlydifficulttobealeaderifnoonearoundyou—thecharacters—wantstobeledbyyou.
Whetherthroughactionorinaction,awarenessorlackofawareness,youownyourleadershipstory.Becauseoftheroleofcharacters,thechallengehereisthatyourstorycannevertrulybeself-authored.Leadersgetbetterorworseasjudgedbythosearoundthem.Youmaywellbetheprimaryauthorofyourleadershipstory,buttransformationalleadershipalsolivesintheobservations,perceptions,andinterpretationsofothers.Forexample,whatyouviewasprovidingautonomymaybeviewedbyothersasbeingdisengaged.
Stephaniewashiredrightoutofgraduateschool,whereshewasoneofthetopstudentsinhergraduatingclass.Shewasgivenleadershipresponsibilityrightaway,andshewantedtomakeagreatfirstimpression.Sheoftenworkedintotheeveningtoensurethatherworkexceededeveryone’sexpectations.Althoughshehadtheobligatoryone-to-onemeetingswithmembersofherteam,herprimaryfocuswasongettingtheworkdone.Duringofficehours,herdoorwasoftenclosedassheworkedonavarietyofprojects.Sheusuallyatelunchinherofficeandrarelysaidmorethan“Goodmorning”toherpeersandcolleagues.Whenitcametimefortheannualorganizationalclimatesurvey,shereceivedsomeofthelowestscores.Stephaniewasgettingthetaskdonewellwithoutanyconsiderationofthepeoplesheworkedwith.
Thesinglemostimportantthingyoucandotowardbecomingtheauthorofyourleadershipstoryistounderstandhowothersperceiveyourleadership.Youmaythinkyouareshowinguponewayonlytofindthatitisnotthecase.Forexample,youmaythinkyouarecomingacrossassupportiveandinvolvedinthe
details,whenyouarebeingperceivedasamicromanagerwhodoesn’ttrusthisemployees.Youshouldconsiderthedesignatedactivitiesinthisbookasstartingpointstoinvolveothersinunderstandingyourleadershipstory.Youarebestservedifyoucangatherperceptionsanonymouslytoencouragecandor.
Anotherusefultooltofacilitatethisprocessisaleadership360.Wewillhavemoreon360assessmentsin“Step4:DevelopYourTheme.”However,forthepurposesofunderstandingothers’perceptionsofyou,Iwouldencourageyoutodoa360assessmentif(a)youhaveneverdoneonebefore,(b)ithasbeenmorethantwoyearssinceyoudidone,or(c)youhavebeeninyourroleforoveroneyear.Considermakingthisimportantpulsecheckpartofyourroutineandongoingdevelopment.
Thereisasayingthatyoushouldnotjudgeabookbyitscover.Inotherwords,oneneedstotakethetimeandefforttounderstandwhatexistsbeyondthesurface.Andyet,intermsofothers’perceptions,Ihaveseenhumannatureinactionhere.Evenininstanceswhenpeopleintheworkplaceheardadetailaboutyoubutdidnotexperienceitforthemselves,theyareinclinedtocarrythataspartofyourleadershipstory.Infact,itistypicalthatwhateverthataspectofyourstoryis,theywilllikelylookforadditionaldatatovalidatewhattheyhaveheard.Andthisiswhereothers’perceptionscanbequitepowerful:theyarebecomingtheauthorsofyourleadershipstory,andyoumaynotevenbeawareofit.Thiscanworkfororagainstyou,dependingonwhatelementofyourstorypeoplehaveheard.Forthegreatestimpact,yourobjectiveshouldbetoensurethatothers’perceptionofyourleadershipstoryisalignedwithyourreality.
Yourownperceptionsofyourselfcanalsoplayacriticalroleinyourleadershipstory.Quitesimply,doyoubelieveinyourselfasaleader?Whyorwhynot?Whathashappenedtomakeyouthinkthatway?Whathasshapedyourmind-set?Howmightyounavigateanyuncertaintythatyouhave?Theobjectiveisnottooperateinadelusionalstateaboutyourcapabilitiesandthinkthatyoucanaccomplishthingsthatyoucannot.Theintentistotrulyknowyourcapabilitiesandbelieveinthem.Andwherethereisuncertainty,seektheadviceandguidanceofothers.
Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,severaldebatablequestionscenteronthecharacters.Forexample,Iamoftenasked,“Doyouhavetobelikedtobeaneffectiveleader?”“Doyouhavetobeauthentictobeaneffectiveleader?”“Doyouhavetobetrustedtobeaneffectiveleader?”Unequivocally,no.Therearemanyexamplesthroughouthistoryofleaderswhowerenotnecessarilywellliked,authentic,ortrusted.Fearmaybeaneffectiveapproachtogetresults,butdoesitcontributetoeffectiveleadership?
Thinkaboutthehumansideofleadershipratherthanthetaskside.Rememberthattheportionofyourleadershipstorydealingwithcharacterisaboutrelationships.Iftheonlypurposeweretogetresults,youwouldnotneedtoconsiderthingsliketrust,authenticity,andlikability.However,ifyourfocusincludeshowyougettheworkdone,establishingrelationships,andinspiringothers,thenyoudoneedtoconsiderthem.Characteristicsliketrust,authenticity,andlikabilitycomeintoplaywithregardtobeingrespected,relatingtoothersoraffinity,andmakinganemotionalconnection.
Agreatleadershiptactictoincreaseinvolvementandestablishstrongerconnectionswithyourcharactersistoaskthesimplequestion“Whatdoyouthink?”ThistipcomesdirectlyfromJ.W.“Bill”MarriottJr.’sbookWithoutReservations.6Askingthisshowsthatyoucareandareopentoconsideringothers’suggestionsthatmightyieldinterestinginsightsyouhadnotconsidered.Asaleader,youstillneedtomakethedecisions,andtheymayormaynotbeinlinewithwhatotherssuggested.Thekeyisthatyouengageothersintheprocess.
Aswithanystory,protagonistsandantagonistswillbepartofyourleadershipstory.Theprotagonistsareyourchampions.Moreoften,theseareestablishedleaderswithintheorganizationwhoactasyourcredibilitysubstitutes.Theyvouchforyouwhenyou’renotthere.Protagonistsdon’toftenthinkyouareperfect,buttheydobelieveinyouandyourpotential.Theyhaveyourinterestsinmindandlookforchallengingopportunitiesforyou.Theywanttoseeyougrow,develop,andsucceed.Ihavefoundthatprotagonistsoftenworkbehindthescenessupportingotherleaders.
Whywouldanyonewanttobeyourprotagonist?Andhowdoyougetmoreprotagonistsinyourleadershipstory?Unfortunately,thereisnotastandardformula.However,Ihaveseensomeconsistentcircumstanceswherepeoplearemorelikelytobeyourchampion.First,fromaprocessstandpoint,itisuncommonforanindividualtoasksomeonetobehisorherchampionorprotagonist.Overtheyears,Ihaveidentifiedsimplefactorsthatpromptpeopletowillinglybecomeone’schampionorprotagonist:capability,effort,willingnesstolearn,relatingwelltoothersoraffinity,likability,andevenhumility.Itusuallytakesacombinationofseveralofthesecharacteristics.Protagonistsimplicitlywanttoknow(a)whetheryouhavewhatittakestosucceed,(b)whethertheylikeyouenoughtowantyoutosucceed,and(c)whetheryouwillmakethem(thechampion)andtheorganizationlookgood.
Unfortunately,nearlyeverystoryhasatleastoneantagonist.Youmightbeasking,“Gee,howdoIspottheantagonistifIambusyworking?”The
antagonistisadetractor.Peoplecanshowupasantagonistsinyourleadershipstoryforanynumberofreasons.Theycanbesubordinates,peers,clients,competitorsforapromotion,orsupervisors.Theycanbeantagonistsbasedonmotivationsorperceptions,whetheraccurateornot.Intermsofmotivation,peoplemaynotwanttoseeyousucceedbecausetheybelievethatsuccessisazero-sumgame:ifyousucceed,theydon’t.Ortheirsuccessisalteredordelayed.Theymaynotwantyoutosucceedbecausetheydon’tlikeyou.Perhapsyougavesomeoneapoorperformancerating.Whetheritwasdeservedornot,ifthepersondoesn’tthinkitwasdeserved,shemayhaveitoutforyou.Thesearesimpleexamples,anditisdifficulttojudgewhysomeonewouldbeyourantagonist.Whatisimportant,though,isthatyoubeawareofwhomightbeanantagonist,andthenyoucanseektounderstandwhy.
Youcanevenbetheantagonistinyourownleadershipstory.Thiscanoccurif,forexample,youdon’tbelieveinyourself,givelittleeffort,don’tlearnandgrow,don’thonorcommitments,aredisrespectfultoothers,ordonotdowhatyousayyouwilldo.
InTheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders,authorsJohnZengerandJosephFolkmanrefertothesebehaviorsas“fatalflaws.”7Ihavealsoseenthemreferredtoas“derailers.”Itisimportantthatyoubecomeawareifyouhaveanyfatalflawsandthentakeactiontochangeorminimizethem.Notethatifyouhavehadfatalflawsthatwereuncheckedforsometime,yourleadershipstorymayhavebeenadverselyaffectedallthattime.Dependingonwhohasbeeninvolved,youmayneedtoacknowledgethebehaviorpublicly,apologizetotheindividual(s)affected,anddemonstratethatyouwillchange.
Sohowdoyoudealwithantagonistsinyourleadershipstory?Again,sincemotivations,experiences,perceptions,andsituationscanbesovaried,thereisnotasinglemagicformula.Butsomethingscanhelpmitigateantagonistsandtheirinfluence.Itbeginswithself-awareness.Youneedtobeawareofhowyoutreatotherpeopleandtheirneeds,andoftheimpactthatmayhave.Thatsoundsalotlikehavinghighemotionalintelligence,anditistrue.Alsohelpful:showeffort,demonstratefairness,don’ttrytogetaheadatothers’expense,don’ttalkbehindpeople’sbacks,andsetclearexpectations.
AndevenifyoulivebytheGoldenRule—totreatothersthewayyouwouldwanttobetreated—thatstillmaynotbeenoughtoavoidhavinganantagonist.I’mnottryingtomakeyouparanoidandthinkthatantagonistsareouttherelurkingintheshadows.I’mnotevensuggestingthateveryonehasantagonistsintheirstory.ButwhatIwouldpointoutisthatmostofthepeopleIhaveworkedwithweresurprisedtofindoutthattheyhadanantagonist.Youmightevensay
withweresurprisedtofindoutthattheyhadanantagonist.Youmightevensaythattheywerecaughtoffguard.
Ifyoudocomeacrossanantagonist,itwillbeimportantforyoutodevotesometimetorepairingthatrelationshipandunderstandingtheperson’smotivation.Wediscussthisfurtherin“Step3:PrepareforConflict,”butitisimportantthatthisnotbeleftunchecked.Antagonistscandoirreparableharmtoyourleadershipstory.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTYOURCHARACTERS1.Withwhomareyourkeyrelationshipsatwork?Whoimpactsyourabilitytodoyourbestwork,andhowdoyouimpactothers’abilitytodotheirbestwork?
2.Howcanyoubuildmoresupportersandchampionsofyourleadershipstorythandetractors?
3.Whatroledoyouplayinyourleadershipstory?Others?(Hero,villain,etc.)Why?
4.Whoareyourtrustedadvisors?5.Howwouldothersdescribeyouasaleader?Howwellisyourleadershipstoryalignedwithothers’interpretationofyourleadershipstory?
ActivitiestoIdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourCharacters
Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers
KeystoUnlockingConnections ✓ ✓
CommonGround✓
MonitortheEmotionalBankAccount ✓ ✓
BuildMentorCircles
BuildMentorCircles ✓
CommonGround✓
ThankYou!✓
KEYSTOUNLOCKINGCONNECTIONSYoumayhaveheardthesaying“Whomyouknowismoreimportantthanwhatyouknow.”Onethingisforsure:leadershipisarelationshipbusiness.Boththequalityandthequantityofrelationshipsareimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory.And,asdiscussedpreviously,alignmentmatters.
Navigatingtheorganizationalwatersandensuringabroadaudienceforyourleadershipstoryrequiresyoutohaveagoodnumberofpositiverelationships.Iamnotsuggestingthatyouhavetolikeorgetalongwitheveryone.However,youneedtobebothawareofthestatusofyourrelationships(i.e.,protagonistorantagonist)andstrategicwithkeyrelationships.
Forthisactivity,makealistofyourprotagonists/championsandantagonists/detractors,inorderofimportance.Youcanlistthosepeoplewhoareactuallyyourchampionorthosewhosesupportisimportanttoyou.Notewhyeachisanimportantrelationshipforyou,andthenwritedownwhatyouneedtodotomaintainorimprovehisorherstatustowardbeingaprotagonist.Thisshouldprovideinsightsintowhichrelationshipsyouneedtofoster.
Protagonist
Antagonist
Sinceitisunlikelythatsomeonewouldidentifyyououtrightashisorherantagonist,thevariationofthisactivityforothersistounderstandtheextenttowhichyousupportothers.Irecommendengagingabroaderaudiencethanyouidentifiedaboveforthisactivity.Includeallofyourdirectreports,abreadthofpeersfromacrosstheorganization,andyourboss.Askthemtorateonascaleof1to10(10beinghigh)howsupportiveyouaretothempersonallyortheirmission.Anythingbelowan8—somewouldsay10—requiresyourattention.Askthemhowyoucouldsupportthembetter.
COMMONGROUNDThisactivityisadaptedfromAlanGregerman’sbookTheNecessityofStrangers.8Asafollow-ontotheactivityabove,forthekeyrelationshipsyoulisted—withbothprotagonistsandantagonists—yourjoboverthenext30daysistoidentifyatleastfivenon-work-relatedthingsyouhaveincommonwitheachperson.Findingcommongroundallowsyoutoestablishstrongerrelationships,worktowardbetterresults,inspireproblemsolving,providebetterideas,andreinforceyourleadershipstory.Giveyourselffivepointsforeachpersonwithwhomyouidentifysomecommonground.
MONITORTHEEMOTIONALBANKACCOUNTThenotionofanemotionalbankaccountgainedwideattentionbybeingfeaturedinStephenCovey’sbookThe7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople.9Itiscenteredontrustandreferstothedepositsandwithdrawalsyoumaymakewitheachofyourrelationships.Depositsaretheresultofbuildingtrustbasedonbeingempathetic,payingattentiontoallaspectsoftherelationship,honoringcommitments,recognizingandapologizingininstanceswhereyoumighthavemadeawithdrawal,clarifyingexpectations,anddemonstratingrespect.Withdrawalsaretheopposite.Theyarebasedonsomethingyouhavedonetoharmtherelationshiportrust.Asayingthatcomestomindconcerningtrustandrelationshipsis“Ittakes99actstobuildtrustbutonlyonetotearitdown.”Soyoucanimaginethatyourobjectiveistomakefarmoredepositsinyouremotionalbankaccountthanwithdrawalsbecauseasinglewithdrawalcanhavelastingeffectsonarelationshipandonyourleadershipstory.
Youremotionalbankaccountexistswitheachindividual.Itisnottransferable.Anditisconstantlyevolving.However,whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,youmaybegivena“lineofcredit”basedonyourleadershipstory—perhapsbasedonhowyouareknowntotreatotherpeople.Depositsandwithdrawalscanbesmall,ortheycanbebig.
Intothefollowingform,copythenamesfromthelistsofprotagonistsandantagonistsyoumadeearlier.Notenexttoeachnamewhetheryouhaveasurplus(+)ordeficit(-)witheachindividual,andnotewhenyoumadeadepositorwithdrawal.Whatdidyoudoineachcase?Inthecaseofwithdrawals,youneedtorecognizethemandpossiblymakeanapology.
Thisactivityshouldbegiventoothersaswell.Youmaythinkyouareingreatstandingwithmanypeoplebutthenfindthatyouhavemadesomewithdrawalsthatyouwerenotawareof.Fortherelationshipsyoulistedabove,
withdrawalsthatyouwerenotawareof.Fortherelationshipsyoulistedabove,providethosepeoplewithanimaginary100coinsthattheycanallocatetoyourrelationship.Explainthat100iscompletelystrongandzeroistheweakest.Askthemtoallocatethecoinsbasedonhowstrongtheyperceivetherelationship.Anythinglessthan100indicatesthatyouhavemadeawithdrawalatsomepoint.Youmayaskthemwherewithdrawalshavebeenmadeandwhatcouldbedonetofullyreplenishthebankaccount.
BUILDMENTORCIRCLESLeadershipisprettyheadystuff.Itiscomplex.Youwilllikelybefacedwithverydifficultdecisionsforwhichyouhavelimiteddataorpersonalexperience.Youarenotalone—oratleastyoushouldn’tbe.Whileself-reflectionisagreattoolandonethatshouldbeexercisedoften,youalsoneedtrustedadvisorsyoucancallonasnecessary.
ThementorcirclesthatIammostfamiliarwithinvolvebringinginasingleleadertomentorasmallgroupofpeopleonmultipleoccasionsoversomeperiodoftime.Youcanbringinthesamementormultipletimesorrotateamongmultiplementors.Itisimportanttoprovidesomestructure.
Forthisactivity,wearegoingtomodifytheprocesstotheadvantageofyourleadershipstory.Ratherthanfindingasingleleader,yourjobistoidentifyseveralleaders(perhapsthreetofive)whocanprovidementoringandguidanceandbetrustedadviserstoyou.Acoupleofrules/tipsforthisactivity:
•Youneedtoberealisticinyouraims.Forexample,ifyouarejustbeginningyourjourneyasaleader,itmaynotberealistictohavetheCEOaspartofyourmentorcircle.
•Considerpeopleinsideandoutsideofyourcurrentorganization.Andalsoconsiderpeoplefromdifferentbackgrounds,perspectives,andpossiblyindustries.
•Keepinmindyourexistingrelationshipswiththeindividuals.Ifyoudonotknowthem,theywillbelesslikelytooffersupportandguidance,andthesupporttheydooffermaynotbeasvaluableorrelevant.
•Consideraccess.Doyouhavereadyaccesstotheindividual?•Youdon’tneedtoidentifyallofthepeopleinyourmentorcircleatthismoment—itcanandshouldevolve.
•Totheextentpossible,thisshouldbeatwo-wayrelationship;youneedtofocusonbeingagoodlistenerandonopportunitiestocontributeideasand
focusonbeingagoodlistenerandonopportunitiestocontributeideasandinsightsaboutchallengesyourmentorsarefacing.
•Providesomeclaritytotheindividualsforyourrequest.Whatareyouaskingfor?Why?
•Oncetherelationshipandexpectationsareagreedupon,avoidtoomuchstructure.Forexample,Ihaveseenstanding,recurringmeetingsfailbecausetheywereforced.Whatseemstoworkwellistoestablishsomeflexibilityforanoccasionaldiscussionasneeded.Alsorecommended:Don’ttaxthegenerosityofthementors,andexpressyourthanksfortheirinput.
THANKYOU!Gratitudeandappreciationaregivenfartoorarelyinleadershipandinlife.Infact,throughoutmycareerIhaveobservedleaderswhosoughttotakecreditratherthantogiveit.Asthesayinggoes,“Successhasmanyfathers,butfailureisanorphan.”
Let’sfaceit,wehavebeeninfluencedbyanynumberofpeoplethroughoutourcareer.Andhopefullywehaveinfluencedmanyaswell.Butthisactivityisaboutgratitudeandappreciationforthepeople(akacharacters)whohavehadapositiveimpactonyourlife.Thesearethepeoplewhohaveshownyouthewayandwhatitmeanstobeagreatleader.Ihavebeenfortunatetoencounterseveralinfluentialleaders.SomeI’vestayedintouchwithandothersIhavenot.Buttheimpactofallofthemhasbeenprofound.
Whohashadthegreatestinfluenceonyourleadership?Thisisagreatactivity,andyoushouldconsideritsapplicabilitybeyondleadership.Everydayforaweek,takeoneuninterruptedminuteandmakealistofthepeoplewhohavehadthegreatestpositiveinfluenceonyourlife.Then,nexttoeachname,notewhatyouaregratefultothepersonfor.Itdoesnothavetobeaboss;itcouldbeapeerorcolleague,adirectreport,orsomeoneoutsideofwork.
Whohasbeenmostinfluential?Whohasshapedyouasaleader?Whathavetheytaughtyouaboutleadership(orpossiblylife)?Inyourlist,includeattributesyoulearnedfromthem.Doyouhaveashortexampleorstoryofhoworwhenyoulearnedaparticularcharacteristicorskillfromthem?Asanaddedbonus,ifpossible,contacttheindividualstoletthemknowtheimpacttheyhavehadonyouandwhatyoulearnedfromthem,andthankthem.
BobTacklesHisCharacters
IpushedBobalittlemoreonhiscolleaguesatwork.“Whyweretheyhesitanttoapproachyoubeforethatfarewelllunch?Yougotalongwiththemprettywell,didn’tyou?”Iasked.
“Well,weneverhadanyarguments.Certainlywediscussedtheprosandconsofdifferentapproachestoourprojects.”
“Whenyoulaidyouropiniononthetablethosetimes,howdidtheconversationsproceed?”Ipressed.“Theconversationsdidn’tgomuchfurther,”hereplied.ThenIaskedBobatougherquestion:“Howwasyourexitinterviewwithyourboss?”“ItwasOK,Iguess,”hesaidnervously.“Wealwaysgotalongfine,goodreviews,nomajor
disagreements…andhewishedmewell.”“Didn’thehaveanypartingadvice?”Iasked.“Afterall,youwerehoursfrombeingoutthedoor.”“Yeah,hesaidhehopedItookonsomebiggerprojects,morestrategicprojects,atmynextcompany;
andmaybethosebig-pictureleadershipsuccessesmightbevaluablebackheresomeday,hesaidwithafriendlysmile.”
DoyouthinkBobhasprotagonistsandantagonists?Hemayhavehadoneprotagonist,hisboss,orhewouldn’thavelasted.Butcanyouimagineinwhichcategoryhislunchmatesfit?Hardtosay.Maybealittleofboth.Butittookafarewelllunchtogetitoutofthem.Ifnoonecaresenoughtogiveyoufeedback,youareintroubleasaleader.
Sometimesitiseasytobecomecaughtinapatternofactionortosetourselvesoncruisecontrol.Relationshipstaketimeandefforttocultivate.HadBobtakenthetimetogettoknowanyofhislunchmatesorevenhisbossatadeeperlevel,hewouldhaveenabledthemtobemorecomfortable—betteryet,morecollegial—withhim.Hemighthavegainedsignificantinsightintohowbuildingstronger,welcoming,andmorecollaborativerelationshipscouldhelphimtobecomeabetterleader.Intheend,though,noonehadcaredenoughonewayortheothertosaysomethingtohim.BobwasBob,andBobdidwellatcrankingoutprojects.Hedidwhathewassupposedtodo.Hegotstuffdone,whileothersweremoreintobiggerstuff.Itwasn’tworthittothemtospeakupuntilBobwassafelyoutthedoor.Andwhatkindofleadershipstorydidheleavebehind?Howwillheberememberedathisformerpeers’nextcasualFridaylunch?
HowmuchbetterforBob’scareer,andforhislongevityatthecompany,wouldithavebeenifhehaddonetheexercisesinthisstepandspenttimeonthereflectivequestionsandactivities?
QuickTips
ToEstablishStrongCharacters
1.Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyou
1.Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameasordifferentlythanleadersyouknowhavedone.
2.Proactivelybuildpositiverelationshipsandexpressgratitude.3.Identifyandseekinputandguidancefromtrustedadvisors.
STEP3
PrepareforConflict
Conflicthappens.Anditwouldbehardtoimagineastorywithoutanyconflict.Theinitialimpressionofconflictisthatitisastruggle.Whenwereadorwatchstories,sometimesitisthatstrugglethatcreatesasenseofadventureandexcitement.Itoftendrawsusin.Eveninourownlives,lookingbackonconflictcangiveusasenseofexcitementorpride—pridethatweovercamethechallenge.
Twosayingscometomindwithregardtoconflict.Thefirstisthatconflictdoesnotbuildcharacter;conflictrevealsit.Inotherwords,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictsaysalotaboutyou.Doyouletitconsumeyou?Doyoutakeoutyouranxietiesonothers?Ordoyougowiththeflow?Whatisyourmind-setandapproachwhenitcomestoconflict,struggle,andadversity?
Thesecondsayingisthatitisaboutthejourney,notthedestination.Youarecertaintorunintochallenges,obstacles,andconflictalongtheway.Inmanycases,theywillbeunexpected.Howareyoupreparedtodealwithsuchconflict?Ifconflictdoeshappen,whatcanyoulearnfromit?Andhowcanyoubebetterpreparedforanyunanticipatedfuturechallenges?
Conflictvariesindegreeandeffect.Asaleader,youcanexperiencearangefromsmallconflictsorsetbacksallthewaythroughlarger,morecriticalconflicts.Additionally,therearemultipletypesofconflict.Onthenegativeside,youcanexperienceinterpersonalconflictorconflictwithtasks.Youmayalsoexperienceinternalconflict,whereyoustruggledeeplywithwhoyouareasaleader.Youwillhaveopportunitiestoexploreeachtypeofstrugglelaterinthisstep.
Interpersonalconflictisbetweenyouandanotherindividualormultipleindividuals.Itisoftenbasedonafundamentaldifferenceinopinion,philosophy,personality,ormotivation.Forexample,supposeyouhavetwopeerswhoarebothinlineforasinglepromotion.Inherently,thatmaycreateconflictofinterest;shapetheirmotivations;oraffecthowtheyacttowardoneanother(e.g.,
competitiveversuscollaborative),asintakingandgivingcredit,and,mostimportant,inarticulatingeachother’sleadershipstory.Inthiscase,howeachhandlestheconflictiscriticaltothelong-termrelationship.Asaleader,youhavetohelpensurethatneitherindividualpermanentlydamagestherelationship.Thismayrequireconsiderablepatienceandcommunication.
Conflictwithtasksmaybebasedonresourcesorskills.Forexample,doyouhavetheskillsorresourcestogetaparticulartaskdone?Isthetimelinefeasibleornot?Thistask-focusedconflictwillhaveadirectimpactonyourleadershipstory.Howdoyouarticulatethechallenge?Doyoubringsolutionstobearormerelyidentifytheproblems?Doyouhaveacan-doattitudeoracan’t-doone?Thisisanotherplacewhereadversitydoesnotjustbuildyourleadershipstorybutrevealsit.
Notallconflictisnegative.Conflictcansometimesbethesourceofgreatideas.Infact,ifyouarealeaderputtingtogetherateam,youwillbebetterservedbyidentifyingteammemberswithopposingviewpointsthanbyassemblingagroupoflike-mindedindividuals.Althoughtheprocessinthiscasecanbechallengingattimes,theteam’soutputislikelytobebetterandmoreinnovative.
Theobjectivehereisforyoutobuildyourawarenessaboutthesourcesofconflictandhowyourespondtoconflictasaleader.Itrequiresawarenessaboutthesituationsthatcauseconflict,yourpreferredorcomfortableresponse,andtheimpactthatyourresponsehasonothersaroundyou.Forsome,thismayrequireashiftinmind-set.Forexample,whenyouarefacedwithconflict,doesyourinnervoiceormind-setpositionyouasthehero?Thevictim?Animpostororfraud?Doyouhaveabring-it-onmentalityoranit’ll-never-workmentality?Doyoubelieveinyourselfandfeelthatyouhavetheabilitytoprevailovertheconflict?Itellmykids,ifyoubelievethatyoucan’tdosomething,thenthat’sprobablygoingtobetrue.
Youwanttobuildthisconflict-managementcapability—andyourmind-set—justasyouwouldbuildamuscle.Startwithsmallwins.Ifyouhaveneverbeenaleaderbefore,leadaportionofameetingorproject.Askforsomeguidanceinitially,butbeopentofiguringitoutforyourself.Andmostimportant,giveyourselfagradeandaskothersforfeedback.Ifindthatmostleaderswhohaveanegativemind-sethavetriedorbeenaskedtotrydoingthingsthatweremorethanastretch,havenotbeengivenproperguidanceorresources,orhavenotreceivedfeedbackalongthewayorattheend.Sucheventsshouldbeviewedasaprescriptiveorasaguideforfutureactions.
Imentionedearliertheissueoffeelinglikeanimpostor.Sometimesleaders
haveaninwardstrugglewithwhotheyareasaleadereventhoughtheyareinaleadershipposition.AcommonexampleiswhatIcalltheimpostorphenomenon,inwhichsomeleadersfear,perhapsunconsciously,thattheymightbeexposedasaleadershipimpostor.Nowthatisabigconflictissueinanyleadershipstory.
Experienceisagreataidfordealingwithconflictoradversity.Themoreexperienceyouhave,themorecomfortableandconfidentyouarewithconflict.Youalsohaveawiderlenswithwhichtounderstandthevarioussolutionsavailable.Sinceyoucan’tcreateexperienceonthespot,asurrogateisyourmentorcircle.Ifyouhavetheluxuryoftimeinrespondingtoaparticularsituation,howwouldtheindividualsinyourcirclehandleit?Whatadvicecantheyshare?Itisofcourseuptoyouwhetheryoutaketheadvice,buthavingmultipleperspectivesoutsideofyourownwillallowyoutobroadenyourthinking.
Understandingandpreparingforconflicthasalottodowithself-awareness.Whatbothersyouorcausesyouconflict?Andhowdoyoufeelaboutit?Youmaythinkthatsoundstootouchy-feely,butfranklyalackofself-awarenesswillleaveyouunprepared.Itmaycauseyoutoreactinunproductivewaysthatdamagerelationshipsandultimatelyyourleadershipstory.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTCONFLICT1.Whathavebeenrecurringcausesofconflictforyouasaleader(e.g.,typesoftasks,people,situations)?
2.Whatisyourroleinconflict?3.Howdoyoutypicallyreactto,respondto,orhandleconflict?Howresilientareyou?Whatwouldotherssayabouthowyouhandleconflict?
4.Whatisyourapproach,outlet,ormechanismforprocessingconflictconstructively?
5.Howdoyouresolveconflict?Whatimpactdoesthishaveonyourrelationships?Yourabilitytogetthejobdone?
Peggywasalwaysskepticalofherabilitytoleadothers.Hersupervisorsbelievedinherabilities,soshecontinuedtogetincreasingleadershipresponsibilities.Littledidanyoneknowthateachadditionalleadershipresponsibilitypromptedanewsetofdoubtsandfearsinheraboutherabilitytobeaneffectiveleader.Shefeltasthoughthecurtainwasgoingtobepulledbackatanytimeandshewouldbefoundoutasafraud.
Oneday,Peggyranintoaformerboss,Kristine,whomsheadmiredasagreat
Oneday,Peggyranintoaformerboss,Kristine,whomsheadmiredasagreatleader.Peggycasuallymentionedthatshedidn’tknowifshewantedtobealeaderanymore.Shemissedbeingmoreofanindividualcontributorasatechnicalexpert.Butshealsofeltthattherewasnogoingback.
Kristinewantedtoknowmoreandinvitedhertolunchthefollowingweek.TheyspentthewholelunchdiscussingwhyPeggyfeltthiswaydespitehavingapositivetrackrecordandreputationasaleader.IttookseveralconversationsforPeggytorealizethatnoleaderisperfect,andsheeventuallycametolookatthepositiveimpactshewashavingontheteam,howsheengagedherteam,andthepositiveresults.Overtime,sheshiftedherperspectivefromself-doubttooneofcontinuousself-development.Peggylearnedhowtohandletheleadershipconflictshehadhadwithherself.
ActivitiestoBeReadyforConflict
Conflictcantakemanyshapesandbeminorormajor.Aswiththeotheraspectsofyourleadershipstory,developingyourawarenessofwhatcausesconflictandhowyoureacttoitisanimportantstepinenablingyoutohandleconflictinthefuture.Itcanbechallengingbecauseourbrainsarewiredforfightorflight,andneitherofthoseapproachesmaybesuitableforyourleadershipstory.Theactivitiesdescribedbelowprovidewaysforyoutoreflectonhowyoucurrentlyhandleconflict,aswellastoprepareforhowyouwouldliketohandleitinthefuture.ThefirstthreeactivitieswereadaptedfromaneHowarticlebyCarriePerlestitled“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities.”10
Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers
TheI’sHaveIt✓
What’sHappening?✓
LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFuture ✓ ✓
WhatItTakes✓ ✓
TheHeartofInnovation✓
THEI’SHAVEITConflictisoftenbasedondifferencesofopinionandperspectiveamongmultiplepeople.Toooften,westrivetopullothersovertoourside.Thereiscertainlyatimeandaplaceforthat.Ontheotherhand,empathy,orputtingyourselfinothers’shoes,isoftenthelastthingonourmindduringaconflict.Thisactivityisaboutshiftingtoamoreempatheticmind-set.
Theactivityhighlightsconflictbetweentwoindividuals.Ittendstoyieldthebestresultswhenbothpartiesrecognizethatconflictexistsandarewillingandopentoresolvingit.However,youcanconductitasanindividualactivitytohelpyoubuildamind-setofempathy.Forthisactivity,yourjobistoreframeeverythingaroundtheconflictfrom“you”to“I.”“You”messagescancomeoffascondescendingornegative,andtheycanbeineffective.Forexample,insteadofstatementssuchas“Youshould…”or“Whydidyou…,”reframethestatementsothatitrelatestoyourownfeelings.Forexample,youmightsay,“IfeelXwhenyou…”
Whenyoucompletetheactivityasanindividualexercise,youwillbegintonoticeagreaterself-awarenessaboutsourcesofconflictandhowyoufeelaboutthem.Thatisthepathwaytobeingbetterpreparedforaction.Italsoallowsyoutobetterrespondtofutureconflictratherthanreactingtoit.
WHAT’SHAPPENING?Youcanlearnalotfromstories—notjustyourown(andothers’)leadershipstories,butalsocurrenteventsandhistory.Examiningnewsstoriesgivesyouanopportunitytothinkabouthowyouwouldhandleconflict.
Forthisactivity,makealistofcurrenteventsinvolvingaconflictbetweentwoormoreindividualsorgroups.Makeanoteabouthoweachsideattemptedtosolveit,aswellashoweffectivelythosemethodsworked.Payparticularattentiontoyourreactiontotheconflict,asitmayindicateinsightsaboutyourvalues.Forthesecondpartoftheactivity,considerhowyourobservationsofthewaytheconflictplayedoutmightinfluenceyourabilitytohandleconflicteffectively.
Howistheapproachtakenfromthecurrenteventapplicabletothewaysyoumighthandleconflict?
LEARNFROMTHEPAST,COMMITTOTHEFUTUREStrugglesareaninherentpartofstoriesaswellasleadership.Itisnotamatterofifyouwillexperienceconflictasaleader,itisamatterofwhenandwhatyouwilldotoprepareforitandlearnfromit.
Therearethreepartstothisactivity.Forpartone,firstthinkaboutandlistthelastthreetimesyouhadapersonalconflict,somethingunexpectedlycameup,oryouworkedonadifficulttaskorproject.Beasspecificaspossible.Considernotonlywhatthesituationwasbutalsowhatitwasaboutthesituationthattroubledyou.
Next,makeanoteofhowyoureactedtoit.Whatwereyournonverbalandverbalreactions?Howdidtheconflictmakeyoufeel?
Tocloseoutthefirstpartoftheactivity,writedownwhatyoudid.Howdidyouinteractwithortreatpeople(e.g.,active,passive;proactivelyaddress,ignore)?Howdidyouhandlethetask(e.g.,tryagain,enlistothers,giveup;takeresponsibility,defer)?
Forthesecondpartoftheactivity,askmultipleindividualstoidentifyasituationinwhichyoufacedconflict,gradeyouonhowyouresponded,andnotetheimpact(high,medium,orlow)thatyourresponsehadonthemorothers.Theircommentsmayrevealwaysinwhichyouarenotawareofsituations,yourresponse,ortheimpactofyourresponse.
Whatdoesthissayaboutyourinnervoice,mind-set,andself-awarenesswithregardtoconflict?Forthethirdpartoftheactivity,makeacommitmenttoyourselfregardinghowyouwishtohandleconflictthenexttimeitarises.Whatwouldyoudothesameordifferentlyifasimilarsituationpresenteditself?Keepinmind,thistakesself-awareness,andittakespractice.Allowyourselftimetodevelopthisskilljustasyouwouldamuscle.Youmaynotgetitperfectlythenexttimeconflictarises,butyouwillmovetowardareactionthatbettersupportsyourdesiredleadershipstory.Andasanaddedbenefit,youwillbeonyourwaytobuildingstrongerrelationships.
CommitmentThenexttimeIamfacedwithasimilarconflictinthefuture,Iwill…
WHATITTAKESInorderforyoutomanageconflictinawaythatiscomplementarytoyourleadershipstory,youhavetobetterunderstandtheskillsrequiredforconflictmanagementandwhereyoustandrelativetothoseskills,andyouneedaplanofactiontocontinuetodevelopyourconflict-managementskills.Thegreateryourself-awarenessandthemoreplanningyoudo,themorelikelyitisthattherewillbeatrainingeffectandyouwillrespondto,ratherthanreactto,conflict.
Forthefirststep,writedowntheskillsnecessarytomanageconflictinyourorganization.Ifyouareuncertainwhatthoseskillsare,Iencourageyoutotakeoneoftwoapproaches.First,overashortperiodoftime—nomorethanamonth—observehowdifferentpointsofviewareexpressedinmeetingsandanyotherinterpersonalinteractions.Alternatively,youmightcheckanycompetencymodelsyourorganizationhasandlookforthebehavioralindicatorsforconflictmanagement,collaboration,communication,orarelatedskill.Keepinmindthatthelatterapproachstatestheidealandmaynotrepresenthowconflictisactuallyaddressedwithintheorganization.Itisimportantforyoutounderstandhowconflictworksinyourorganization.However,ifneitheroftheaboveisavailableoryieldsusefulresults,anotheroptionistoresearchgenericconflict-managementskills.
Next,rateyourselfonascaleof1to5(1beinglow),relativetothoseskills.Foranythingthatyouratebelowa4,youshouldhaveaspecificdevelopmentplanforhowyouaregoingtoimprovethatskill.Foranythingrateda4ora5,youmaywanttonotewhatyouneedtodotomaintainthatcapabilityandpossiblytoteachittoothers.
Thisactivitylendsitselfnicelytovalidationfromothers.Providethemwiththesameworksheetbelow.Askthemtoidentifytheskillsnecessaryforconflictmanagement;itwillshowwhetheryouarealignedinthoseobservations.Askthemtoratehowyoudowiththoseskills,andgettheirinputforwhatyoucoulddobetter.
THEHEARTOFINNOVATIONNotallconflictisbad.Infact,differencesofopinioncanbeattheheartofsomegreatoutputsandinnovations.Thinkaboutit.Ifyouhaveagroupoflike-mindedindividualswithnodisagreements,youarenotlikelytochallengetheconventional.Althoughtheprocesstoreachfinalitymighthavebeenasmootherone,theoutputmaybeinferior.
Severalyearsago,Iwasbroughtintoafinancialservicesorganizationtoreviewavirtualteamthathadjustdeliveredoneofthebestreturnsoninvestmentforafinancialproductthatthecompanyhadeverseen.Forthem,“virtual”didnotsimplymeanthattheteamwasgeographicallydispersed;italsorepresentedthefluidityofteammembers.Theteamcomprisedleadersandsubject-matterexpertsfromacrossvariousinternaldepartments.Therewasunlimitedpotentialforterritoriality,disagreement,andconflict.Butnoneofthatbecameadistractionfortheteam.Seniorleaderswantedtoknowwhathadcontributedtotheeffectivenesssothattheycouldreplicateit.Asitturnedout,oneofthemostimportantaspectscontributingtotheteam’ssuccesswasthedifferencesamongthemembers.
Thinkabouthowyouhaveutilizedorcouldutilizeindividualdifferencesconstructively.Whataresomespecificsituationsthathavebenefitedorcouldbenefitfrommultipleperspectives?Whatcanyoudotofostertheencouragementofmultipleperspectives?Whatarethechallengesoffacilitatingmultipleperspectives?Howcouldyoubepreparedandovercomesomeofthesechallenges?
BobContemplatesConflict
Bobseemstohaveavoidedmuchconflict,includingthegoodstuffthatcomesfromsuchdifferencesasexperiencedbythefinancialservicesteamdescribedabove.Hislonerangerposturewasstrongenoughtodiscouragedisagreement,andhenevermovedfromsimplestaffmanagementintoarealstrategicteamleadershiprole.
“Bob,describeconflicttome.Isitsomethingtobeavoidedatallcost?”Iaskedhim.“Well,conflictisadistraction,Tim.IthinkIavoidit.Ijustwanttogetthingsdone.Iknowhowtoapply
whatIknowto‘nodrama’management.”“Soletmeaskyouthis,”Isaid.“Didyoueverinvitetheotherprojectleaderstohavesortofageneric
meeting,alearningorsharingsession,abouttypicalprojectmanagementproblems,youknow,whatevertheusualstuffis,justtoseehowtheyhandledsuchthings—suchasconflictinginformation,orconflictingapproaches,orconflictwithmanagementabove?Didyouevernoticetheothers,likethepeopleatyourlunch,goingofftoameetingroom?”
“No,Ican’tthinkofatime…no,Idon’trecallthat,”heansweredsheepishly.“Itmightbethatnoonewantstotanglewithyourexpertise,oryourviewofyourexpertise.Butmaybe
someonenoticedtheirinterestingenericproblemsolving,andoneortwogotabigpromotion.Continuebouncingaroundcompaniesorlearnhowtodealwithconflict,Bob.It’sthere,outsideofusandsometimesinsideofus.Inlife,threethingsarecertain:death,taxes…andconflict.Weallneedtodealwithit,includingourconflictingviewsofourselves.”
QuickTips
ToPrepareforConflict
1.Conflictisinevitable.Perhapsmorethanresults,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictoradversitywilldefineyouasaleader.
2.Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflict
2.Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflictconstructively.
3.Beproactiveinrespondingtoconflict.Itmaynotcomenaturallyorcomfortably,butifyoucanhandleconflictwell,itwillgreatlyhelpyourleadershipstoryandbuildpositiverelationships.
STEP4
DevelopYourTheme
Thethemeofaleadershipstoryisaboutcharacteristicsandcompetence.Itiswhatyoudowellandperhapsnotsowell,and,onceagain,self-awarenessofitisessential.Self-awarenessandacceptanceofboundariesisthepathwaytofreedom.Knowingyourabilitiesandevenyourlimitations–regardingwhatyouarecapableof,interestedin,andwillingtodo–canbequiteliberating.
Let’scomparethethemeofyourleadershipstorytobooks,movies,orevenbrandedproducts.GeorgeOrwell’sclassic1984wasabouttotalcontrolandhowBigBrotherusedlanguagetodeceivepeopleabouthiscontrol.11That’showwerememberthebookandthetwomoviesmadefromit.ThethemeofthemovieJawsisabouthowacommunityworkedtogether,ordinarypeopleandacoupleofcharacters,todefeatthesourceofasummerdisaster.Whenthekeycharacterswereonafishingboatsearchingforthesharkandsawitforthefirsttime,theyrealizedthattheirboatwasnotgoingtobesufficienttocatchit.Theydidnothavetheneededcapabilitiesorresourcestoaccomplishtheirmission.That’showwethinkofitandhowwe,too,mightsomedayneedabiggerboat.WhenwethinkofCNN,wethinkofconstantnewscoveragearoundtheworld.WhenwethinkofGoogle,wethinkofasearchtoolthatseemstounderstandhowwethinkandwanttosearch.So,ifyouleftyourcurrentcompany,howwouldthosefolksthinkofyou?Whatwouldbetheirtop-of-mindrecollectionofyou?That’sthethemeofyourleadershipstory.
Theacceptanceofourlimitationsopensthepathtoleadership.InhisbookLongWalktoFreedom,NelsonMandelanotesthatitiswhatwemakeoutofwhatweare,notwhatwearegiven,thatseparatesonepersonfromanother.12So,ifwearealldifferent,ourthemesvary.Asaleader,youneedtobeparticularlycarefultoavoidbeingsomethingyouarenot.Yourthemeisagreatsourceofcredibilityinyourleadershipstory.
Icannotthinkofaleaderwhoknowsmorethaneverybodyelseinallaspects
ofthebusiness.That’snottosaytherearen’tleaderswhothinktheyknowmorethaneverybody.SomeofthebestleadersI’veworkedwithaskquestionsmorethantheygivedirectionanddonotassumethattheyhavealltheanswers.Andhereistheimportantpart:theylisten.Theyhaveopinionsandcanmakedecisions,tobesure,buttheyengageothersintheprocess.
However,themeismorethanwhatyouknow.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,themecomprisesyourpersonalitycharacteristics,attitude,technicalskills,andinterpersonalskills.Thereareavarietyofleadershipcompetencymodels.Iamnotadvocatingoneovertheother,asmanyhavetheirmerits.Iencourageyoutobeawareofyourleadershipskills,aswellasotherkeytechnicalskills.However,thereisafinebalancebecauseleadershipisaboutmovingbeyondthetechnicalskills.Youmustletgoofyourexpertiseandcomfortzoneinordertotrulyembraceleadership.
Yourroleasaleaderistobeawareoftheskills,characteristics,andattributesthatareimportantforleadershipinyourorganization,andtoknowhowyouaredoingrelativetothem.Isleadershiponlyaboutwhatisaccomplished,ordoeshowtheworkisaccomplishedmatter?Thefirstisaboutchurningouttasks,projects,andinitiatives.Iamnotsuggestingthattheworkisnotimportant.However,whenitcomestobeingaleader,theworkitselfisonlypartoftheequation.Howtheworkisaccomplishedisalsoimportant.And,perhapsmostimportant,whataretheskillsandcharacteristicsrequiredforboth?Tobeaneffectiveleaderandcraftacompletestory,youneedboth.Asleaders,wearegenerallyheldaccountableforaccomplishingtasks—highquality,ontime,onbudget,andsoon—andyoualwaysneedtokeeppeopleinmind.
Asagoodleader,youneedtorecognizethatdifferentpeoplerequiredifferentapproachestoleadershipthatmayrequireyoutohaveadifferentlevelofemotionalintelligenceandanadaptableskillset.Forexample,mostleadersareinclinedtoleadastheywouldwanttobeled.Someteammembersmaypreferdirectionandguidancetoautonomy.Withoutthisawareness,youractionsmaybeinterpretedquitedifferentlythanyouintended.
Forexample,oneleaderIworkedwith,Bill,wasastrongadvocateofdelegatingdownasfaraspossible.Thiswasthemanifestationofhisvalueoftrustingtheexpertsonhisteam.Italmostbackfiredinhisleadershipstory.Billregularlyreviewedandtrackedhiscompany’sfinancialstatements,ashethoughtheshould.Buthealsohadstaffmemberswhowerededicatedtothefinancialoperationsofthebusiness.AtameetingwhereBillwasnotinvolved,aleaderoutsideofBill’sdepartmentaskedifhewasawareofthecurrentfinancialreports.Histeammemberwhowasresponsibleforfinancialoperationsresponded,“Billdoesnotgetinvolvedinthedetails.”
responded,“Billdoesnotgetinvolvedinthedetails.”Well,thatquicklybecamepartofBill’sleadershipstorywhetherhelikeditor
not.Andeventhoughhehadheardthatnotbeinginvolvedinthedetailshadbecomepartofhisstoryandwasactivelytryingtocorrectthatperception,ittookhimalmostayeartochangethataspectofhisstory.Inlife,stufflingers.OneofthelessonsBilltookawayfromtheexperiencewastofullyunderstandwhattheorganizationbelievedwasimportant,notjustwhathevaluedasaleader.
Hisstorywasbeingwrittenbasedontheneedsofothersratherthanonhisbeliefsoractions.Leftasitwas,thiscouldhavederailedBillandunderminedhisintendedleadershipstoryoreventhestoryhethoughthewasprojecting.Hewasfortunatethathereceivedfeedbackaboutthisnewelementofhisleadershipstory.
Theothercriticalaspectofthemerelativetoyourleadershipstoryisfeedback.Youmustseekfeedbackabouthowwellyouaredoing.Thestoryaboveillustratesjusthoweasyitistothinkyouaredoingwellinanareawhensomeone,somewhereelseintheorganization,doesnot.Youmightbeshowingup(a)differentlythanyouthinkyouareand(b)differentlyamongdifferentgroups.Soitisnotenoughtohavetheskillstobealeader;onceagain,yourstoryissubjecttotheinterpretationsofothers.Personally,Iwouldratherknowthisthannotknowit,sothatIcantakeactiontobeaware,asaleader,ofhowmythemeisshowingup.
Althoughtherearemanywaystogetfeedbackonyourleadershipskills,characteristics,andtraits,Ihavefoundthatthebestapproachtofeedbackforleadersisa360assessment.Itshouldbeconductedanonymouslyforthemosthonestfeedback.Thisisausefulleadershipdevelopmenttoolthatcanallowyougreaterinsightsintohowavarietyofothers(directreports,boss,peers,andcustomers)thinkyouaredoingasaleader.Itisusefultomapyourperceptionsagainsttheirstodeterminewheretheremightbedissonanceandwhereyoumightprioritizedevelopmentofyourleadershipskills.
Iwashavingaconversationwithoneleader,Barry,whowasadirectorinhiscompany.Ifyouhadaskedhimhowhewasdoingontheleadershipandtechnicalfronts,hewouldhavegivenhimselfstraightA’s.Hethoughthewasdoingexceptionallywellinallcategories.Hethoughthewasanexcellentleaderknownforresultsandprovidingpeoplewithlittledirectionandmuchautonomy.Hethoughthewasahands-offleaderknownfortakinginitiativeandgettingthejobdone.
ButBarryreceivedfeedbackindicatingthathewasperceivedbyothersasarenegadetypewhowasoverconfidentandoftenrolledoverpeopleinmeetings.
renegadetypewhowasoverconfidentandoftenrolledoverpeopleinmeetings.Someofhisdirectreportsfeltthathewasnotinterestedinthem.
Barrywentintopanicmode.Hedidnotwanttobeperceivedthatwayatall.Heknewthiswasnotgoingtobeturnedaroundovernight.Itwouldrequiretimeandconsciouseffort.First,heacceptedthefeedback.Second,hecameupwithaplan,whichbeganwithlettinghisteammembersknowthatherecognizedthisperceptionandwasgoingtochange.Heaskedfortheirhelpandspecificallyencouragedthemtotellhimifhewasgoingintothenegativeland.Hemadeitapointtoseeeveryonefromhisteameveryday—nottocheckuponthembuttocheckinwiththem,toaskhoweachwasdoing.Ashegottoknowthem,helearnedmoreabouttheirgoalsandwhathecoulddotosupportthem.Hewasabletoassignpeopletoprojectsthatmatchedtheirinterests,capabilities,andgoals.
Ittookalmostninemonthsandmanynewhabits,butBillknewhewasvieweddifferentlywhenhegotfeedbackthatthereweretwopeoplewhowantedtotransferontohisteambecausetheyheardhewasagooddeveloperofothers.
Formanyleaders,theresultsofa360assessmentprovidemanyinsightsintotheirleadershipstory.Theresultshelptominimizeblindspots.Ifpossible,asabestpractice,trytocompletea360approximatelyevery18months.Eighteenmonthscanbealongtimetowaitforfeedback,sointheactivitiessection,youwillfindapproachestogetfeedbackonamuchmoreimmediateandroutinebasis.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTPLOT1.Whatareyouknownforasaleader(skills,behaviors,attitudes)?2.Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?3.Whatareyourstrengthsandareasfordevelopmentasaleader?4.Whattraits,behaviors,andcharacteristicsareyoumostproudofasaleader?5.Howdoyoucontinuouslydevelopyourselfasaleaderandteachothers?
ActivitiestoDevelopYourTheme
Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers
GiveYourselfaGrade
✓ ✓
GreatestHits(andMisses)✓
KeepaDiary✓
MovingOn✓
TheMirror✓ ✓
GIVEYOURSELFAGRADEFeedbackcanbedifficulttocomeby.Foraleader,honest,candidfeedbackcanbeevenmoredifficulttocomeby.Butfeedbackiscriticalforcoursecorrectionandcontinuousdevelopment.Asaquickwaytogetfeedback,Iencourageleaderstogivethemselvesagrade,justasiftheywereinschool,AthroughF.Ofcourse,theassumptionisthatyouwillbehonestwithyourself.Andweknowthatself-reportdatahasitslimitations.Butitisastepintherightdirectionifdonehonestly.
Thiskindoffeedbackcanbedoneonavarietyoftopics.Forexample,youcangiveyourselfagradeforhowyoudeliveredapresentation,howyougavefeedbacktoanemployee,howyouinteractedwithyourboss,oranynumberofoccurrencesthroughouttheday.Youcangiveyourselfagradeforthedayforhowwellyoudidoverallasaleader.
Thekeytothisistoincludeinyourthoughtprocesswhyyouaregivingyourselfaparticulargrade.WhatdidyoudotodeservethatAorCorwhichevergradeyouearned?Andyourcriteriashouldspannotjustwhatyouthinkbutalsohowyouthinkothersreactedtoitandhowitwasviewedwithinthecontextoftheorganization.Tocloseouttheactivity,askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameordifferentlyinthefuture.
Therearetwovariationsonthisexercise.Thefirstisthatyouasksomeoneelsetogiveyouagradeandexplainwhyyouearnedthatgrade.Itisoftendifficulttoputpeopleonthespotforsomepotentiallydifficultconversations.
Butifyouareopenaboutgivingyourselfagradefirstandarereasonablycritical,youmightcreatealevelofcomfortandwillingnessforotherstoprovideyouinput.Startbysayingwhatgradeyougaveyourselfandwhy.Therealbenefithereisthatyouareshowingsomehumilityandvulnerabilityasaleaderandanopennesstoreceivingfeedback.
Thesecondvariation,amuchmoreconservativeapproach,istogiveothersagrade.Irecommenddoingthisinternally—meaninginyourownmind—andbeingthoughtfulaboutthecriteriayouusedtogivethegrade.Whydidyougivethemaparticulargrade?Whatwouldyouhavedonedifferently?Whatcanyoulearnfromthem?Usingthisactivity,youcanlearnagreatdealfromothers.
GREATESTHITS(ANDMISSES)Yourleadershipstorytothispointhaslikelybeenfilledwithupsanddowns,hitsandmisses,successesandfailures.Youhavetheopportunitytolearnfromboththepositiveandnegativeexperiences.Forthisactivity,writedownyourgreatesttwoorthreehits.Theseareprofessionalorpersonalaccomplishmentsthatsaysomethingaboutyouasaperson.Describetheaccomplishments.Whatmadethemgreat?Andwhatdidyoulearn?
Dothesameforyourgreatestmisses.Whatwasyourgreatestdisappointment?Whatmadeitso?Whatwasyourroleintheseexperiences?Beasspecificaspossible,andthinkabouttheturningpointsforeach,whatyourrolewas,andwhatyouwoulddothesameanddifferentlyinthefuture.
GreatestHits
Whattwoorthreethingswouldyoudothesameiffacedwithasimilaropportunity?Why?
Whattwoorthreethingswouldyoudodifferentlyiffacedwithasimilaropportunity?Why?
KEEPADIARYAsaleader,youarelikelyinvolvedinanumberofprojectsthroughouttheyear.Someleadersmaybeinvolvedinsomanyprojectsthattheycannotrememberthemall.Insomecases,youmaybedefined,andyourleadershipstorymaybewritten,byyoursuccessandfailures.
Forthisactivity,youshouldkeeparunninglistoftheprojectsyouworkedonthroughouttheyear.Althoughyoucanadapttheheadingsthatyoutrack,thinkaboutincludingtheprojectname,aone-ortwo-sentencedescription,yourrole,thedates,andanythingelsenotable,suchasoutcomes,awards,orrecognition.Thinkaboutthisintermsofwhatyoudid,whatyoulearned,andwhatyoutaught.
Thiswillgreatlyhelpyoutorecalltheworkyouhavebeenpartof,accomplishments,andanylessonslearned.Itisimportantbecauseifyoucan’trecallwhatyouhaveworkedonandwhereyouhaveaddedvaluetothebusiness,youcan’texpectotherstoremembereither.Thisalsobecomesausefultoolforyourannualperformanceevaluation.
Additionally,itprovidesagoodcheckandbalanceforyourinvolvementasaleader.Ifyoufindthatyourlistisrunninglow,lookforwaystogetmoreinvolved.Ifthereistoomuchonyourlist,lookforwaystoengageothersinsomeprojects.Itwillgivethemexposureandexperience,andyouwillbeviewedasadeveloperofothers.
MOVINGONYourcareerisajourneyduringwhichyouwillimpactandbeimpactedbymanypeople.Youwillalsolearnalotalongtheway,andhopefullyyouviewtheimpartingofknowledgeaspartofyourroleasleader.Whetheryouarechangingjobswithinthesameorganization,movingtoaneworganization,orretiring,whatdoyouwantyourlegacytobeasyoutransitionfromoneplacetothenext?Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?Let’shopethatthemeispositive.
Thisactivityisaboutawarenessandplanning.Forthisactivity,imaginethatyouaretransitioningoutofyourcurrentrole.Youhaveaskedacolleaguewhoknowsyouwelltogiveashortspeechatyourfarewellreception.
•Whatdoyouwanthimorhertosayaboutyou?•Whatdoyouwanttobeknownforasaleader?•Whereisitmostimportantthatyoubesuccessfulasaleader?Asaperson?•Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywillyoubemostproudofiftheycometofruition?
•Wherewouldyouhavethegreatestregretsifthatpartofyourleadershipstorywereleftunfulfilled?
storywereleftunfulfilled?
Tomakethisactivityreal,considerwritingoutyourfarewellspeechinfewerthan500words.Doesyourspeechchangeifitisforyourretirement?Doesyourspeechchangeifitisattheendofyourlife?Yourlegacyspansmorethanwork,andIencourageyoutothinkaboutthebroaderlegacyyouwishtoleave.Whatareyoudoingtocontributetoyourlegacy?Whatspecificactionsdoyouneedtotaketobuildthelegacyyouwishtohave?Inthespacebelow,bespecific,andbeconcise.
THEMIRRORWhenyoulookinthemirror,whatdoyousee?Whatifthemirrordisplaysonlyskillsandabilitiesratherthanphysicalattributes?Nowwhatdoyousee?Whatdoothersseewhentheylookatyou?
ThisactivityisadaptedfromArneson’sBootstrapLeadership.Hestatesthatpeoplecarryaroundyourbrandinafewwords.Inthefirstcolumnbelow,infivetosevenwords,writethewordsyouwouldusetodescribeyourselfasaleader.Inthesecondcolumn,writedownfivetosevenwordsforhowyouthinkotherswoulddescribeyourleadershipstyle.Andinthethirdcolumn,writedownfivetosevenwordstodescribeyouridealleadershipstyle.
Now,withoutsharingyourlist,askseveralothersfromavarietyofgroupstodescribeyouasaleaderinfivetosevenadjectives.
Howwouldyoudescribemeasaleader?
Whenyoulookacrossallthreeofyourcolumns,whatstandsout?Aretheremoresimilaritiesordifferencesacrossthecolumns?Whatisthedifferencebetweenyourperceptionsandothers’?Whyisthereadifference?Whatarethedifferencesbetweenyourcurrentleadershipandyouridealleadership?Why?Whatareyoupreparedtodoaboutit?
InordertobecometheidealleaderIwanttobe,Iwill…
InordertobetteralignwhoIamasaleaderwithhowothersseeme,Iwill…
BobThinksaboutTheme
Ifyouarestilluncertainabouthowtopullthistogether,Bobisinthesameboat.Butathisfarewelllunch,hedidgetanideaofwhatleadershipstorythemehewasleavingbehindashejumpedshiptoanothercompany.
“Bob,I’mgoingtogiveyouachoicebetweentwodoors…and,no,notigersbehindoneofthem,”Iassuredhim.“Youcancontinuebeingagoodtechnocratwhoruleshisprojectdomainwithoneortwodirectreports.Giventhatyouareinyour40s,youcouldplaythesametech-gururoleatfourorfivemorecompaniesbeforeyouhangupyourcertification.Or,youcouldhireandmoldbiggerteamswithstrategicassignmentsthatarecloselywatchedattheCEOlevel,helpdevelopotherstotheirpotential,andmaybeevengetsomebigstockoroptionawards.Andnothavetogotoanewcompany.Instead,learnnewthingsinproductlinesthecompanyneverdreamedof.What’syourchoice?”
Bobsatthereforawhile.“Iseeyourpoint,Tim.Iamuncomfortablewithmovingaroundalot,butit’sbecauseIamtoocomfortablebeingtheprojectexpert,holdingontoit.I’vebeenwearingmyexpertisehatallmycareer.Peopleknowmeforthatrightnow.SomaybeIamidentifyinganissueformyself:whendoIwearmyexperthat,andwhendoIwearaleaderhat?”
“Andthat’showpeoplethinkofyou,Bob.Theysaidso,howeveruncomfortably,atyourfarewellluncheon.Doyouwantthatlonerangerstufftobethethemeofyourleadershipstory?Ifyoudo,it’sgoingtofollowyou,notjustsitwithformercolleagues.Maybefollowyouforyears.Peopletalk,andsocialmediagivesnegativetalkaninfinitelifespan.”
Bobwaslisteningcarefully.
QuickTips
ToDevelopYourTheme
1.Forquickfeedback,giveyourselfandothersagrade;askotherstodothesame.Itcanhelpinitiatecandidconversations,reinforceexpectations,andhighlightperceptions.
2.Effectiveleadershiprequiresyoutoletgoof(ordelegate)sometechnicalskillsandembraceyourroleasleader.
3.Reconcilehowyouthinkyouaredoingasaleaderwithhowothersperceiveyouaredoing.
STEP5
FindYourOptimalSetting
Whenitcomestostory,settingreferstowheretheeventsofthestorytakeplace.Thesettingforyourleadershipstoryisaboutgeographicallocationandtheorganizationyouworkfor,anditisalsoabouttheworkitself.Specifically,forpartofyourleadershipstory,youwillneedtodeterminehowthesettingofyourworkprovidesmeaningtoyou.Youshouldconsiderhowthesettingcontributespositivelyornegativelytoyourleadershipstory.
Norightorwronganswerexistsforthequestionofwhetheryouareintherightsetting,exceptforonequalifier:How’sitworkingforyou?Ifyouanswersomethingalongthelinesof“Notsogood,”thenitisuptoyoutothinkaboutwhythatissoandwhatyouarepreparedtodoaboutit.
Iworkedwithanestablishedleaderwhohadmadeacareerchangeayearprior.Shewasamidcareerleaderwhohadtakenajobataflowershopbecauseshewantedtobearoundsomethingbeautifulandhelpbringjoytopeopleeveryday.AlthoughIdidnotknowherbeforesheworkedattheflowershop,sheexplainedhowshehadneverbeenhappier.Shealsoremindedmethatitwasatoughdecision,andthedecisionrequiredsomesacrifices.Thatisanextremeexample,andIamnotencouragingyoutoquityourjob.WhatIamencouragingyoutodoisfindyourflowershop—thatenvironmentthatbringsoutthebestinyouandothers.Lookforopportunitiestocreateitwithinyourexistingenvironment.
Formanyofus,ourstoryhasevolvedinavarietyofsettingsovertimeandmaycontinuetoevolve.Evenifwedon’tchangesettings,theenvironmentaroundusmightchange,sowestillmustbeawareofoursettingandhowitisworkingforus.Youshouldalsoconsiderhowyouasaleaderfosterasenseofprideintheworkyoudoandwhereyoudoit(i.e.,organization,physicalsetting).
Thinkaboutwhenyouarriveinanorganizationforthefirsttime.Youarelikelyconfrontedwithstoriesaboutpeoplecurrentlyandformerlypartoftheorganization.Youunderstandwhatgetsrewardedandwhatgetspunished.Thatformsthebasisoftheorganization’sculture,anditalsoservesasdataforyoutobetterunderstandwhatisimportantwithinthisnewsetting.Ifyouhavebeenpartofanorganizationforsometime,youhavelikelycontributedtothestoriesinsomeway.Howhaveyoubeenandcanyoubeaprotagonistforyoursettingandinyoursetting?
inyoursetting?Settingneedstobemonitoredfortheeffectthatyouhaveonitandithason
you.Thesettingshouldnotbeasourceoforgroundsforconflict.Asaleader,youneedtoknowwhatisimportanttoyou,whatisenabling,andwhatisconstraining.Youneedtohavealong-termplanregardingwhereyouwanttobeandanunderstandingofwhereyouareatyourbest.Havingagoodunderstandingoftheelementsofyourleadershipstoryupuntilthispointwillprovideagreatdealofclaritywhenitcomestothereflectivequestionsincludedthroughoutthischapter.
Sometimesyourleadershipstoryisnotreflectingyouaccuratelyorwhereyouwantittobe,eitherpersonallyorintheeyesofothers.I’mnotadvocatingchangingsettings,althoughthatmaybenecessaryatsomepoint.Keepinmindthesaying“Thegrassisalwaysgreenerontheothersideofthehill.”Thetruthofthematteristhatthegrassisgreenerwhereyouwaterit.Sowhatareyoupreparedtodotocreateanenvironmentthatallowsyouandotherstobeyourbest?
However,thisismoreaboututilizingopportunitieswhentheyexist.Specifically,whenyouareonanewteamorinaneworganization,youhavetheopportunitytoreviseyourleadershipstory.Youneedtobepreparedtotakeadvantageofthoseopportunities,anditbeginswithhavingacompletepictureofyourleadershipstory—whereitiscurrentlyandwhereyouwantittobe.Soitmaybebestinmanycircumstancestomakethemostofwhatyouhave.Infact,myfirstrecommendationwouldbeforyoutomakethemostofyourcurrentsituation.Itmayrequiresomedifficultconversationsrelativetoyourneedsandexpectations.
Inanyevent,Iamadvocatingthatyoutakeacloselookatyoursetting—thatyouexaminewhathashadaneffectonyou,whatcontributestoorinhibitsyoufrombeingatyourbest,andwhereyoumightseeyourselfinthelongterm.Whatisimportanttoyou?Wherecanyoubeatyourbest?Andhowcanyoutakethenecessarystepstoachieveyourgoals?Whatcanyoudotomakeyoursettingbetter?
Dawnhadbeeninherorganizationformorethansevenyearsandinhercurrentroleforalmostfiveyears.Shehadherroutinedown,fromherdriveintoworktoherofficesetuptoherdailyandweeklyroutinesinteractingwithherteam.Peopletendedtocomeinandworkwiththeirheadsdownandthengohome.Littleday-to-dayinspirationexisted,andtheofficespacewasageneric,somber,sobergray.Ithadalwaysbeenthatway.Sheneverquestionedit,andneitherdidanyonefromherteam.
SherecentlyhiredSaraforacreativerolethatwasopenonherteam.Sarahadatonofenergy,buttheblandofficeenvironmentdidn’tnurtureacreative
hadatonofenergy,buttheblandofficeenvironmentdidn’tnurtureacreativespirit.Shewasreadytoworkhardbutneededstimulusandexchange.Oneday,SaraaskedDawnifitwasOKtobringinpersonalpicturestoputinherworkspace.Saralovedtotravel.Shebroughtinpicturesfromawhitewater-raftingtrip,arock-climbingadventure,andherfamilybeachvacation.Saralovedanythingtodowithwaterandespeciallylovedlighthouses,soshebroughtinmini-statuesofthreeofherfavoriteones.Othercolleaguesnoticedthedifferenceandbroughtinfamilyandpetpictures,picturesoftheirtrips,andotheritemsofpersonalinterest.Afewbroughtinsmallplants.Oneevendecoratedherworkspaceforthevariousseasons.
Somethinginterestinghappened.Peoplebegantowalkaroundtheoffice,sharepersonalstoriesandinterests,andexchangeideasaboutallkindsofthings,personalandbusiness.BecauseofSara’syearningforamoreenergeticenvironment,amorepositiveandproductiveattituderadiatedthroughouttheoffice.
Areyouwhereyouwanttobe—geographically,emotionally,andorganizationally?Whereyouaregeographicallyandculturallyatthisstageinyourcareerwillinfluencethequestionsyouaskandtheanswersyougive.Forexample,ifbalanceisimportant,howdoesyoursettingcontributetothat?Inanotherexample,ifyouareintheearlystagesofyourcareer,youmayhaveagreatersenseofadventureandflexibility.Atanotherstageinyourcareer,itmightbemoreimportantforyoutohavestability.Neitheriswrong;theyarejustdifferent.
Whenyoulookbackatwhereyouhavebeen,whichsettingshavehadagreatimpactonyou?Why?Wasitthepeopleortheplace?Wasitthestructures,policies,orculture?Whathaveyoulearned?Andhowdoyourealizetheimpactsofwhereyouhavebeenandwhereyouare—allaspectsofyoursetting—onyourleadershipstory?
Whenyoulookahead,wheredoyouwanttobe,intermsoflocation,life,andcareerstage?Bethoughtfulaboutwhatwillallowyoutobeatyourbestandachieveyourgoals.True,youmighthavetomakesometrade-offsalongtheway.Butitisbetterforyoutodrivethatprocessaccordingtoyourneedsandgoals.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTYOUROPTIMALSETTING1.Howdoesyoursettingenableorconstrainyourbestleadershipcapabilities?
2.Whatgetsrewardedandpunishedinyourorganization?3.Howhaveyourtravelsshapedyourperspectiveasaleader?Wherehaveyoubeenthathasinfluencedyourthinking?
4.Howcanyoumakethemostofyourcurrentsetting?5.Wherehaveyouhadthegreatestimpactandexperiencedthegreatestsatisfactionasaleader?Why?
ActivitiestoFindYourOptimalSetting
Activity ForSelf GivetoOthers
Masterful2x2✓
Detour!✓
NewConstruction✓ ✓
Gratitude✓
BeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T. ✓ ✓
MASTERFUL2x2Mostjobshaveaspectsthatwelikeandsomethatwedon’t.Theyalsohavethingswearegoodatandthingswearenot.Inthosesameinstances,thereareseveralaspectsthatarecriticaltoyourrole.Forexample,youmaylovebeinganaccountant,andyoumightbegoodatit.Butifitisnotcriticaltoyourleadershiprole,youmayfindyourselfmicromanagingandnotdelegatingwhereyoushould,which,Iassureyou,willreflectonyourleadershipstory.
Becausethisconcernsyourleadershipstory,itisimportantthatyouhaveself-awarenessaboutit.Theresultofbeingself-awarewillhelpyoutofocusyourefforts.Thisactivityisaboutidentifyingandbecomingamasterofwhatyou
efforts.Thisactivityisaboutidentifyingandbecomingamasterofwhatyoulovetodo.
First,inthe2x2matrixthatfollows,writedowntheaspectsofyourjobthatfitineachquadrant.Keepinmindthatsomeoftheworkmaybeimportanttotheorganizationoryourrole,soitislesslikelythatyouwouldsimplystopdoingsomeaspectsofyourjob.Ontheotherhand,youneedtobeawareofwhatyoulikeandwhatyouaregoodat(andthevariations)inordertobestpositionyourleadershipstory.Forexample,ifyouspendyourtimeintheupperrightquadrant,youarelikelytobeexcitedanddelivergreatresults,andyouwillseebenefitsthroughyourleadershipstory.Ifyouspendtimeinthebottomleftquadrant,youaremorelikelytobedisengagedandmakemistakesthatwillreflectnegativelyonyourleadershipstory.
Whenyouaredone,writedownaplantoharnessthepositiveaspectsyouhavelistedandmitigateanyofthenegativeaspects.Thinkintermsofbecomingamasterandbeingadeveloperofothers.
Harnessthepositive.I’vetalkedabouttheimportanceoftechnicalexpertisethroughoutthisbook.You’vegottobetechnicallycompetentandknowthebusinessinordertoberecognizedassomeonewithfutureleadershippotential.
Yourtechnicalcapabilityisverylikelyoneofthereasonsyouaregivengreaterleadershipresponsibilities.Soitcanbehardtoshiftfromthe“doing”mind-setofatechnicalexperttothe“developing”mind-setofaleader.
Asyoubecomealeaderandultimatelytakeongreaterleadershipresponsibilities,youwillbefacedwithnewchallengesanddecisionsaboutwhatyouneedtofocuson.Justasyouworkedhardtobecomeagreattechnicalexpert,tobecomeagreatleaderyoumustshiftsomeofyourfocus,planning,andefforttoleadership.Timespentonsomeoftheproceduraldetailsshouldshifttoagreaterfocusonsettingavision,chartingthecourse,listening,deciding,motivating,anddeveloping.Todothis,youmustletgoofsomeofyourtechnicalresponsibilities.Youmustdelegate.Youmustalsoteachanddevelopothers.Howwillyoucontinuetodevelopandpassalongwhatyouaregoodatandliketodo?Howandwhatwillyouteachothers?Andhowandwhatshouldyoulearnanddevelop?Bespecific.
Mitigatethenegative.Howcanyoudelegateworkthatyoudon’tlikeandarenotgoodat?Note:thismaybeadevelopmentopportunityforothersonyourteam.
DETOUR!Iliveinthecity,anditseemsthatroadworkisalwaysgoingonsomewhere.Thecityclaimsthatitisinthenameofprogress,tomakethingsbetter.ButItypicallyfinditaninconvenienceunlessIknowaboutitbeforehandandfindanalternateroute.OnethingIhavelearnedaboutthesedetoursistheabsenceofshortcuts.Yousimplyhavetoplanforthemandworkaroundthem.Somehow,Ialwaysendupatmydestination.
Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,yoursettingisnodifferent.Iknowoffewpeoplewhohaveeverythingperfectaroundtheirsetting.Somethingcan
fewpeoplewhohaveeverythingperfectaroundtheirsetting.Somethingcanalwaysbedonetomakethesettingbetter.
Forthisactivity,startbylistinganythingyouwouldconsideraroadblockinyoursetting.Rateitonascaleof1to5(5isforthebiggestimpedimenttoyourbeingatyourbestasaleader).Andthenbrieflynoteanymitigatingstrategies.Inotherwords,listwhatyoumightbeabletodoeithertochangethataspectofthesettingordetouraroundit.Note,thisisnotaboutpeople;itshouldfocusonthephysicalsetting,culture,policies,structures,andthelike.
NEWCONSTRUCTIONThisisanextensionoftheDetour!activityabove.However,thisfocusesonthoseaspectsofsettingwithinyourcontrolthatyoucanadapttoallowyoutobeyourbest.
Withoutconsiderationofyourcurrentsetting,thinkaboutwhatyouneedtobeatyourbest.Doyouneedmusic?Doartorpersonalphotographsenergizeyouandmakeyouhappy?Doyouneedtostandupandmovearoundthroughouttheday?Doyouneedfreshair?Whatkindofsetting,includingtimeofday,doyoufindmostconducivetocreativeproblemsolving,especiallyaboutpeopleissues?Focusonthethingsoverwhichyoumighthavesomecontrol.
Forexample,ifthebeachmakesyouhappy,thatisnice(itmakesmehappy,too)butnotrelevanttoadaptingyoursettingtobettermeetyourneeds.Thisactivityisnotjustaboutwhatmakesyouhappy.Thisisaboutwhatneedstobepresentforyoutobeatyourbestandwhatyoumightbeabletodoaboutit.Keepinmind,itmayrequireaconversationwithasupervisor.Itmaytaketimeorbeincremental.Tomanageexpectations,alsokeepinmindtheimportanceoffairnessandequitywithintheworkplace.
Toextendthisactivity,youshouldalsoaskotherstodescribewhenyouareatyourbestandtheimpactithas.Whatarethesituations?Howdoesitshow?Andhowdoesthatimpactothers?
GRATITUDESometimeswedon’trealizehowfortunateweare.Thegoodinourlivesbecomeswallpaper—backgroundthatwetakeforgrantedandhardlynotice.Ihavefoundinmyexperiencethatweareliterallysurroundedbygood.Wejusthavetolookforit,recognizeit,andpayattentiontoit.
Yes.It’sbackagain.Forthisgratitudeactivity,yourfocusisonyoursettingratherthanonpeople.Everydayforaweek,foroneminute,writedownallthethingsyouaregratefulforinyoursetting.Youcanrefertopastorpresentaspects,buttheyhavetobereal,andtheyhavetobeaboutyoursetting.Thesimplequestionis:whatareyouthankfulforinyoursetting?Forthisactivity,youshouldthinkaboutthephysicalenvironmentyouworkin,aspectsofthecorporateandlocalcultureyouarepartof,perhapsyourlocalgeography,andthelike.
BESELF-A-WHEREANDS.M.A.R.T.Tobeatyourbest,wheredoyouneedtobe,andwhatdoyouneedtodo?Weallhaveanenvironmentthatallowsustobeatourbest,todoourbestthinking,toreflect,ortobecreative.Theremaybedifferentplacesforeachofthoseactivities.Infact,itmaybeaplace,atime,orasetofconditions(forexample,listeningtomusicmighthelpyoutobecreative).Theseareallnoblepursuits,andtheymaybecriticaltothefutureofyourleadershipstory.Butweoftendon’tmaketimeforwhatweviewasimportant.
Forthisactivity,firstlistwhatyouwishyoudidmoreof.Thesecouldincludereflection,fitness,creativity,planning,oranynumberofthingsyouwouldliketoincorporateintoyourroutineorspendmoretimeon.Then,ratetheimportanceoftheseactivitiesforyoutobeatyourbest(1to5,with1beingmostimportant).Next,writedowntheamountoftimeyouwouldneedtospendoneachactivity.Finally,writedownarealisticandmeasurableplantofindmoretimeforwhatyouneedtodoorwhereyouneedtobetomakeithappen.Notjustwhatyouwillcommitto,buthowyouwillmakeithappen.
Therereallyisnowronganswer.Thisisaboutcreatingself-awarenessaroundwhatyouneedtobeatyourbest.Itisaboutwhatismostimportanttoyouandaboutidentifyingspecific,measurable,actionable,realistic,andtangible(S.M.A.R.T.)goalstogetyouthere.
Asaleader,youneedtocreateanenvironmentthatallowsotherstobeattheirbest.Forthenextpartofthisactivity,identifyspecificindividualsandwhattheyneedinordertobeattheirbest,howyoucurrentlyenableorconstrainthem,andwhatyoucandotosupportthem.Askeachmemberofyourteamtoanswerthetwoquestionsbelow,andhaveaconversationwitheachofthemabouttheirresponses.Youmaywanttoprovidesomecontextaroundwhatyouortheemployeecancontrol.Forexample,Ionceworkedwithaleaderwhotried
ortheemployeecancontrol.Forexample,Ionceworkedwithaleaderwhotriedthisactivitywithoutanyguidelines,andmanyoftheresponsescenteredaroundhavinggreateraccesstoparkingneartheoffice.Thatisinterestingfordiscussion,buttheleaderwasunabletotakespecificaction.Notethatthisisaboutbeingasupportiveleader,notaboutestablishingcodependence.Itshouldleadtoadialogueaboutandawarenessofindividualprioritiesandyourroleasleader.
Whatdoyouneedinordertobeatyourbest?
HowdoIenableorconstrainyoufrombeingatyourbest?
BobExploresHisSetting
ItalkedwithBobabouttherolethatsettingplaysinpeople’sworkenvironmentsandtheoften-negativeeffectsofsettings.WediscussedhowMichaelBloombergcompletelychangedthefloorplanintheexecutivewingofNewYork’sCityHallwhenhebecamemayor.Heinsistedonbeinginacubicleamongthestaff,inthecenterofthelargeroom.Communicationwasimportanttohim.Afterall,hehadsetupacommunicationsempire.Itwasn’taboutcost,itwasaboutaccess—thestaff’saccesstohimandhisaccesstothem.
“Well,weprettymuchallhavecubes,somebiggerthanothers,”Bobobserved.“OK,butsettingisseveralthings,justlikeinastory,”Isaid.“It’sphysical;it’stimeofyearandtimeof
day.Inaleadershipstory,thesettingcanenhanceyourabilitytoleadandaffectthecomfortlevelofthoseyoutrytolead.It’sabouttheeaseofbeingabletosaytosomeone,‘Hey,let’sgogetacupofcoffeeandtalkaboutthatissue.’”
“Mydirectreportscancometalk.WeuseOutlooktoscheduleappointments.I’mavailable,”heassuredme.
“Letmechangegearshere,Bob.Imagineasmallbusiness—say,10people.Theownerisanautocrat.Hefrequentlyremindseveryonethatit’shisballgame.Whenpeoplespeakuporofferasuggestion—or,worse,acontraryviewpoint—theyallgettheballgamespeech.He’saleader,allright.He’sdefinitelydisplayingtheairsofoneoftheleadershiptypesI’vetalkedabout.Buthowcomfortableisthatenvironment?Howmanysickdaysdoyouthinkpeopletake?Howmanyarethereafter5p.m.?Getmypoint?”
“Tim,Iamnotthatway,notatall…”“Ididn’tsayyouwere.Let’smakethatownera1ona1-to-10scaleofleadership.Heain’tleading!
Let’ssaythatMayorBloomberg,inbusinessandinpolitics,wasa10,justforthesakeofdiscussion,OK?Bob,whereareyouonthatcontinuumregardingthesetting,thecomfortlevel,thewarmandfuzzies,ofyourleadership?Andanotherthing:Outlookisgreat,averyproductivetool.Butit’sjustatool!Usingitthatwayforappointmentsisjusttellingpeoplethattheyhavetoapproachyou—dareIsaycrawltoyou?—and,withluck,findanopenslotonyourOutlookcalendartotalkwithyou.That’sone-directional.Whenwasthelasttimeyoujustpoppedinonsomeoneandsaid,‘How’sitgoingwithyourproject?’”
Bobhadneverquitethoughtofhislittlecornerofthecompanycubefarminthoseterms.
QuickTips
ToFindYourOptimalSetting
1.Takeownershipandresponsibilityforwhatyoucandotomakeyoursettingoptimalforyou.
2.Knowandarticulatewhataboutasettingenablesyoutobeatyourbestandconstrainsyoufromthesame.
3.Activelyseekfeedbackfromyourteammembersaboutwhatittakesforthemtobeattheirbest,andhaveaspecificplantohelpsupportthem.
CHAPTERIII
TheNarrativeArc
Let’spauseforamomenthere.We’vediscussedtheelementscommontoanystory,andyourleadershipstorycan’tbeaninterestingoneunlessitcoversthosebasicelements.What’smore,itwon’tbemuchofastoryunlessithasabeginning,middle,andend—atimeline.Thisiscalledanarrativearc,withrisingactionthatreachesabigturningpoint,orclimax,anddescendingaction.Moviesfollowthesamepattern,orwewouldn’tbeeagertoseethatnextfilm.
Yourarcshouldleadtoahighpointinyourcareerwheneverythingcomestogether.Nowisthetimetothinkaboutwhereyouwanttogowithyourleadership—oryourpurpose—andhowyouaregoingtogetthere—oryourpath.Yourarcweavesitswaythroughalltheotherelementsofyourstory.Asyoulookacrosseachoftheelements,thinkaboutitintermsofyourtimelineandtheinfluencethatcertainpeopleandeventshavehadonthewayyouthinkandactasaleader.
MappingYourArcandDiscoveringYourLeadershipTruths
Confuciussaid,“Studythepastifyouwishtodefinethefuture.”Thepastisafoundationalaspectofourleadershipstory,anditshowsuptodayasourleadershipmind-set.Itisimportanttounderstandthepastandhowitshapesourleadershipstory—toreflectonit,tolearnfromit,butnottoliveinit.Whoorwhathasshapedyourmostdeeplyheldvaluesasaleader?
Whenitcomestohowthismanifestsitselfinourleadership,therearethestorieswetellourselves—fromourinnervoiceormind-set—tojustifyandrationalizeouractions.Andthentherearetheoutward-facingstoriesthatothers
hearandbywhichtheyjudgeourleadership.Howwelldoyourinnerandoutervoicesalign?Putmorebluntly,iswhatyoutellyourselfastretchfromwhatothersperceive?Wouldyouagreethatitisimportanttoassessthematch?RememberhowshockedBobwasatlunch?
Sowhereareyouonyourleadershipjourney?Thisisanopportunitytolookinthemirror.Aswetransitionfromunderstandingyourstorytocommunicatingit,thissectiongivesyouachancetomapoutyourleadershiptimelineinordertovisualizeyournarrativearc.Sure,thissoundseasyenough,butitcanbealittleuncomfortable.Youcertainlycouldskimthesurfaceandhaveasuperficialarc.Ifyoureallywanttohaveadeeperunderstandingofyourleadership,youwillhavetoworkhardonthisactivity.
Thinkaboutyoursignificantpersonalmilestones—thoseeventsandpeoplethathadasignificantimpactonwhatyouvalueandhowyouthinkasaleader.Thiswillallowyoutomeasureyourmilestonesandguidepostsalongthewaytoyourultimategoal.Itisanopportunitytolookbackandmakesenseofthepeople,places,andeventsthathavecontributedtoyourleadershipstoryingeneral,andyourmind-setorvoiceinparticular.
Hereishowthisworks.Thereisreallynoruleastotimelineformat.Youmaychartalineacrossthepage,writeanarrative,orputyourstoryinoutlineforminbulletpoints.Iprefertostartwithanoutline,andIliketoworkchronologicallyuptothepresent.
Ihavefounditbesttosegmentone’slife—particularlyfortheearlyyears.Inpartoneofthisactivity,thinkaboutyourfirst15to20years.Whoweretheinstrumentalpeopleinyourlife?Isuggestbeginningclosetoyourinnercircleandmovingoutward.Werethereparents,grandparents,siblings,orotherfamilymemberswhohadastronginfluenceonyou?Asyouworkyourwayoutfromfamily,wereothersinfluential,suchascampcounselors,coaches,churchorcommunityleaders,orteachers?Makeanoteofwhotheywereandhowtheyinfluencedyou.Mostimportant,whatwasitabouttheirleadershipthatyouremember?Keepinmindthatyouarenotlookingforvolume.Youarelookingforinfluence.
Inparttwoofthisactivity,addingtotherecordyou’vebeencreatingabove,thinkabouttheeventsandactivitiessinceyourearlyyearsthathaveinfluencedyourdeepestthinkingasaleader—thathadalastingimpactonyou.Theycouldbesingleeventsorsomethingthatoccurredovertime.Thinkabouttimeswhenyoutookonresponsibilityforpeopleandwhenotherslookedtoyouforguidanceanddirection.Howdidyouact?Whatdidthatteachyouaboutpeople?Aboutbeingaleader?Whatdidyoulearnaboutyourselfandotherpeople?
Asyoucontinuewiththeactivityuptothepresentday,youmayfinditeasiesttocontinueacrosstimesegments(e.g.,every10years),oryoumaybemorecomfortableshiftingyourfocustothekeypeopleandeventsthathaveinfluencedhowyouthinkaboutleadership.Eitherapproachisfine,andIwouldencourageyoutokeeptwothingsinmindasyoudocument.First,thisactivityalwaysencouragesimpactoverquantity.Second,yourstoryisbestrepresentedinchronologicalorder.Why?Youmayrediscoverthatyourleadershipisanchoredinsomecoreprinciplesgroundedataveryyoungage.
Youmaylikewhatyoufind…oryoumaynot.Thetaskisnottorationalizeorexplainawaywhatyoufindaboutyourcoreprinciples;itistounderstandyourleadershiptruths.Thisactivityisnotmeanttoindicateanythingrightorwrong,perse.Itisaboutgainingadeeperunderstandingofwhathasshapedyouasaleader.
Asyoucompletethetimelineactivity,youshouldbegintohavegreaterclarityaboutyourleadershiptruthsthaneverbefore.Doyoulikewhereyouareinyourleadershipjourney?Doyoulikeyourstory?Asyoulooktothefuture,whatpathisyourarctaking?Istherestillmuchworktobedone?Theextentto
whatpathisyourarctaking?Istherestillmuchworktobedone?Theextenttowhichthereisdissonancebetweenwhoyouaretodayandwhoyouwanttobeasaleaderprovidesthestartingpointforyourpersonaldevelopment.
Whilemuchofthissectionisfocusedonwhathasshapedyourdeepestthinkingandvaluesasaleader,youshouldtakethetimetothinkabouttheroleyouplayinotherpeople’sarcs.Whatimpactareyouhavingonothers?SteveJobs’sleadershipstyleiswelldocumented.Althoughhegotresultsthatcontinuetobeadmired,heleftalotofpersonalcasualtiesinhiswake.Imaginethepoweroftheongoingimpacthewouldhavehadifhehadnotonlydevelopedinnovativeproductsbutalsodevelopedhispeopletoagreaterextent.Whenallissaidanddone,youwillberememberedforthepeopleyouinfluencedandmolded,butonlyincidentallyforthetasksandprojectsyoucheckedoff.Whatdoyouwanttoberememberedfor?Howareyouusingyourleadershipforthegreatergood?
Here’sanothertip.It’stheoppositeofforecasting.It’scalledbackcasting.Imaginewhereyouwantyourleadershiptimelinetoendup,inthefuture.Startwiththeidealyoureallywant.Nowgobackwardinsomeincrement—say,fiveyears.Whatdoyouhavetodotomeetthatbenchmarkbeforeyoucanreachtheendgoal?Maybetheincrementsareshorter,suchasayear.Whateverworksforyou.Thenkeepgoing—e.g.,byanotheryearorfive-yearspace.Keepbackcastinguntilyoureach,well,today,markingoffeachsub-accomplishmentthatyouknowyouneedbeforetheendofthetimeline.Doesthisgiveyoumoreofaleadershipplanthanyouhad,say,onehourago?
Bob’sNarrativeArc
Oneevening,BobandItookalongwalkaroundthelakeneartheconferencecenterwhereIwasspeaking.Walkingisagreatwaytofreeupthinking.
“Bob,Ioftentalkaboutaperson’sinnervoiceandoutervoice.Thewayyouwereatthelunchwithyourpeersatthelastcompanywasyouroutervoice.Itclashedwithyourinnervoice,theoneyouweretalkingtoyourselfwith.DoyouseewhatIamgettingat?”Iaskedhim.
“Well,Tim,Iamquiteawareofthelunchanditsimpact,OK?”hesaid,somewhatinfrustration.“Sure.Enoughofthelunch,already.Solet’sgobackintimeandfindsomemoreinnervoicesandouter
voices,waybackwhen,andseehowwecanbuildanarrativearcforyourleadershipstory,”Isuggested.Aboutthen,wepassedabunchofgeeseonthelake.Westoppedandstared.Notmanygeeseherein
WashingtonorBob’shomecity.Suddenly,Bobmadeacommentthatwasrobustwithopportunity.“Gee,isn’titfunnyhowthewholebunchofthemfollowthatoneguyalloverthelake?I’vealways
wonderedaboutthatinbirds.”Idecidedtoholdthatthoughtforawhile.ThenIexplainedtoBobhowthenarrativearcreachesahigh
pointinacareerandhowwhatleadsuptothatarcisquiteinfluentialinourprofessionallives.We
pointinacareerandhowwhatleadsuptothatarcisquiteinfluentialinourprofessionallives.Wediscussedthefactthattheinnervoiceistheoneweusetorationalizeourownstorytoourselves,buttheoutervoiceiswhatothersaresaying.Conflictsometimeshappens.
“Bob,whoinfluencedyouinyouryouth?Notwhopersuadedyoutoenteryourcurrentprofessionaloccupation,but,rather,whomadeanimpactonhowyouthoughtaboutyourself?”
“Oh,Ihadascienceteacherinhighschoolwhosaidsomethingnoonehadeversaidtome.Itwasalabclassandwewerebuildingsmallmotorizedcatapultsasexamplesofclassictools.Imadeasuggestionaboutsomething—can’trememberwhatitwas—andhetoldmeIwasacreativeproblemsolver.HesaidIlookedatthedesignwewereallworkingfromandquestionedit.Hethoughtmyidea,assmallasitwas,demonstratedgoodthinking,”Bobrecalled.“HealsosaidIwasgoodatexplainingdifficultconceptssimply.Funny,butIrememberhissayingthatEinsteinclaimedanyonewhocouldn’texplainsomethingsimplydidn’tunderstandithimself,andIhaveneverforgottenthatidea,”headded.
“Anyoneelse?Thinkoutsideofschool…church,camp,parents,friends,sports,memorableconflicts…whatcomestomind?”Iprodded.
“Well,achurchleader,duringastudysession,saidIaskedgoodquestions,althoughIdon’tthinkheappreciatedsomeofthem,”Bobjoked.
“Anycrisesorconflictsthatbecamepartofyourinnervoice?”“Ah,yes.Summercamponeyear.Iwasastudentcampassistantorsomething.Turnedoutsomekids
hadsomeconflictormaybewerefromopposinggangs…can’trememberwhat.Itwasneargettingphysical,andwecouldn’thavethat.Thecampdirectorwasabouttopounce,when,outoftheblue,Iofferedthetwogroupsachallenge:whichgroupcouldbuildaNativeAmericantepeethatwouldwithstandthestormweheardwascoming?Idon’tknowhowIthoughtofit.Idorecallthecampdirectorstaringatmeandthensmilingslightly,”Bobrecalledwithanostalgicgrin.
“Howdiditworkout?Didthestorms,bothofthem,thingsdown?”Ipressed.“EverythingcameoutOK,andwehadnoproblems.Andbothtepeeswithstoodtherain,buteachwas
builtslightlydifferently,andweleteachgroupdescribehowtheymadetheirs,”herecalled.“AndwhateverIproposedthereafter—fordays—theyallwentalongwithit.”
“Theyallwentalongwithit?”Iasked.“Whydoyousupposethathappened,Bob?”“IguessIwasturninggoodproblemsolvingintoanearlystageofleadership,”heobserved.
Weexploredhistimelinefurther,especiallyashedevelopedhisprofessional,technicalexpertise.Boblikedbeingaproblemsolverinallhisjobs.Hefounditfun.Helikedaskingquestionstochallengeconventionalthinking.Iwondered,whyhadn’thedevelopedhisleadershipskilltoo?Forsomereason,hedefaulted,sotospeak,towhathisinnervoicetoldhimwasthesaferoute.SoIaskedhimaboutallthat.
“Stayinginmyprofessionalframeofmindwaseasy,”Bobadmitted.“Maybeitwasthefearoftheunknownabouttakingonbigendeavors.MaybeIthoughtmyluckwouldrunout.Afterall,corporatelifeisnotlikeasciencelaborasummer-campconflict.IguessIdidn’twanttofailatanything,”heventured.
“Bob,manymanagementgurushaveexpressedavariationonthissimplethought:ifyouneverfailatsomeendeavor,youaren’ttakingenoughrisks—reasonablerisks.Allcompanieshavefailedproducts.Sowhatifyoucallonewrong?Youmoveon.Learnfromit.GMfailedwithSaturn.MGMhasproducedhundredsoffailedmovies.Procter&Gambleregularlypullstheplugonconsumerproducts.Failuresprovidepathwaystosuccesses.Edisonspokeofthislongago.Ifyoudon’thaveabombnowandthen,someoneupstairswillthinkyouareplayingtoosafe.
“Itsoundslikefearoffailureisakeyroadblockhere.That,andacomfortlevelthatistoocomfortable.
“Itsoundslikefearoffailureisakeyroadblockhere.That,andacomfortlevelthatistoocomfortable.Don’tgetmewrong,Bob.Everyonewantstobecomfortable,butit’salsocomforting—andfun—toleadotherpeopleintotheircreativepotential.What’smore,followingacreativeleaderisfun.It’salsocomfortable.Thosekidsatcampalmostgotnasty,butthentheyfollowedyoufordays—becausetheywantedto,forwhateverreason.”
Itwasourthirdtriparoundthesmalllake.Weagaincameacrossthegeese.“Theyjustseemcomfortablefollowingthatleadgander,don’tthey?”Bobjoked.
“Yup.Leadershipistheartofmakingpeoplefeelcomfortablewithbeingled,givingthemthesensethattheyareheadedforwhat’sgood,somethingthat’sbest,”Isaid.
CHAPTERIV
TheArtofCommunicatingYourLeadershipStory
Understandingandaligningyourleadershipstoryisafoundationalpartoftheequation.Howyoucommunicateyourstorytellsasmuchaboutyouasthestoryitself.Ifnottoldright,attherightopportunityandwiththerightaudience,yourleadershipstorycanbackfire.
Sinceyourleadershipstorylivesinyouractionsandthehearts,minds,andperceptionsofothers,itisimportanttothinkabout,beawareof,andplanforhowyoucommunicateyourleadershipstory.Asthetitleofthissectionsuggests,thereisconsiderablearttocommunicatingyourstory.Thereisnosinglebestway.
Ifweagreethatunderstandingyourleadershipstoryiscomplexanddynamic,tellingitisequallyso.Infact,addingtothecomplexityisthatyoumaybetellingyourleadershipstoryinadvertently.Oryoumaynotevenbetheonetellingyourleadershipstory.Ofcourse,youplayacriticalroleincommunicatingyourleadershipstory.And,youraudienceandyourleadershipstoryitselfalsoplayacriticalroleaswell.Tocommunicateyourleadershipstory,youmustthinkaboutandproactivelyplanforyourmessages(what),beawareofuniqueopportunitiesandtiming(when,where,andhow),andalsorecognizetherolethatothersplayincommunicatingyourleadershipstory(who).Youwillalsoseethataudiencematters,andotherscanandshouldplayabroaderroleinyourleadershipstory.
Chapter4ofthisbookprovidesaguideforyoutothinkaboutyourleadershipstory,aswellasstrategiestohelpyouplanforcommunicatingit.Eachstepinchapter4beginswithanoverviewandexplanationofastorytellingelement.Andbecauseeverysituation,environment,andpersonallevelofcomfortwith
expressingyourleadershipstoryisdifferent,eachstepprovidesquestionstoguideself-reflectionandintroducesstrategiesandtipstohelpyoupreparetotellyourleadershipstory.Becausethisdealswithexecution,youwillfindthestrategies,techniques,andtipstobetacticalinnature.
Whenyoutellastory,severalelementsarerequiredforittohavethegreatestintendedimpact.
WhatConstitutesGoodStorytelling?
Totellagoodstory,youmustknowyourmessage,knowtheaudience,makethemostofopportunitiestocommunicateyourstory,andrecognizethatactionsspeaklouderthanwords;andyoushouldenlistotherstotellyourstory.Foryourintendedmessagetocomeacrossandbememorable,youneedtobetruetoyourselfandauthentic.Dependingonyourleadershipstoryandyourpersonalcomfortlevelincommunicatingit,youmayneedtorelyonsomeaspectsofstorytellingmorethanothers.
Yourleadershipstoryisuniquelyyours.Andyouneedtobefamiliarwithit.Step6discussestheimportanceofknowingyourmessage.Havingjustcompletedmanyoftheactivitiesearlierinthebook,youshouldhavegreaterself-awarenessandgreaterinsightsintohowothersperceiveyou.Thischapterprovidesguidanceforpullingyourstorytogetherinasuccinctandcrispway.
Yourleadershipstoryneedstobeflexibleenoughtomeettheneedsofavarietyofaudiences,whetherlargegroupsorindividuals.Step7discussesthepotentialaudiencesyoushouldbepreparedforataminimum,theimportanceofunderstandingtheirneeds,andhowtotailoryourmessagetoyouraudience.Youwillbeintroducedtostrategiesandtechniquestohelpyoubereadytoadjustyourstorytomeettheneedsofavarietyofaudiences.
Timingmaynotbeeverything,butitsureisimportant.Thereisatimeandaplaceforeverything.Step8delvesintowhythisisimportantandprovidesstrategiesforfindingjusttherightopportunities—ormomentsoftruth—toshowcaseyourleadershipstoryoranaspectofit.Youwillfindthatsomeopportunitiescanbeplanned,whileothersareunanticipated.Dependingontheaudience,thesemomentsoftruthmaybehighlyuniqueevents,soitisimportantthatyoubepreparedfortheunanticipated.
Iwishthatcommunicatingyourleadershipstorywereassimpleasverballypresentingwhoyouareasaleaderandwhatyoubelievein.Unfortunately,that
isnotthecase.Muchofyourleadershipstoryresidesinyouractionsandothernonverbalcues.Step9discussesthistopic,providingexamplesandtipstoincreaseyourawareness,aswellasstrategiestoactivelyengageyouractionsandothernonverbalcommunicationtoyouradvantage.
Aswehavediscussedthroughoutthisbook,youaretheownerofyourleadershipstory.However,othersplayacriticalrole,whetherintheirperceptionsorasaprotagonistorantagonist.InStep10,Idiscussthebroaderroleofothers,aswellashowandwhytoenlistthemintellingyourleadershipstory.Theresultscanbequitepowerful.
STEP6
KnowYourMessage
Goodstorytellershaveapurposeinmind.Theyknowwhattheywanttoshareandwhy.Thismaysoundstraightforwardenough,butwithoutspecificstrategies,itcanbeeasiersaidthandone.
Addingtothecomplexity,themessageofyourleadershipstoryisnotjustaboutyou.Youmaynotevenalwaysbethemaincharacter.Greatleadersengageothersintheirstory.Theyaskquestionsandshouldstrivetobeknownforthequestionstheyask.Andtheymakestrongconnections.Yourmessagemustbesimple,clear,understandable,andmotivational.And,unlikefolktales,yourleadershipstoryshouldnotexaggeratetomakeapoint.
Howyoucommunicateyourstoryisanimportantconsiderationaswell.Ifyouwantyourleadershipstory(oraspectsofit)tobememorable,itneedstobesuccinct,timely,andinspiring.Youhavetothinkaboutyourcomfortzoneintellingaspectsofyourleadershipstory,aswellaswhereandhowyoucanhavethegreatestimpactwithyourmessage.Inotherwords,youhavetoframeyourmessageappropriately.Forexample,let’ssayanimportantelementofyourleadershipstoryandadefiningcharacteristicandvalueisthatyouarehumble.Youcannotverywellgoaroundtellingpeoplethatyouarehumble.Sothroughoutthischapter,youareprovidedwithstrategiestothinkaboutnotonlywhatyouwanttoconveybuthowbesttoconveyit.
Let’sbeginbyfocusingonwhatyouwanttoconvey.Thefirstpartofthebookprovidedanumberofactivitiestohelpyoudefineimportantelementsofyourleadershipstory.Youshouldhaveasolidpointofviewaboutwhoyouareasaleader,whatyouvalue,andwhathasshapedyourleadershipstory.Keepin
mindthattheremaybeelementsofyourleadershipstorythatyouwanttoconveyandsomeaspectsthatyoumaynotwanttoconvey.Nowthatyouhaveabroaderunderstanding,thinkaboutthefollowingquestionstohelpyoubegintohomeinonwhatyouwanttotell:
•Howwouldyousuccinctlysummarizeyourleadershipstory?Thinkaboutwhatyouaremostpassionateaboutasaleader.
•Whatarethekeyaspectsyouwanttoreinforce?Thinkaboutthisintermsofhowyouleadandinteractwithpeople,aswellasthetasks.
•Whatlessonsdoyouwanttoimpart?Thinkaboutwhatmessagesyouwanttoimpartaboutyourself,yourapproachtoleadership,whatyouhavelearned,andyourexpectationsofyourselfandothers.
•Whocanbesthelpyoucommunicateyourleadershipstory?Whatmessagesdotheyneedtoknowtodosoeffectively?
FramingYourMessage
Whenitcomestocommunicatingyourleadershipstory,themostimportantconceptisframing.Thiscombinesyourmessagewithyouraudience.Thelatterisdiscussedfurtherinthenextstep.Framingallowsyoutoprovidecontext—toillustrateideasandconceptsinaparticularwaythatgivesthemgreaterrelevance,helpsotherstodrawconclusions,andestablishesacommonunderstanding.Aswiththeexampleabove,youarenotencouragedtowalkaroundtheofficetellingpeopleaspectsofyourstory,suchasyourhumility.Youwouldneedtoframethatmessagedifferentlysothatotherscouldreachthatconclusion.
Toniwasanewpartneratherfirm.Shehadbeenhiredfromoutsidetheorganization.Toniinheritedanewteamofprofessionalseagertogettoknowherandherstyle.Inherfirstteammeeting,shetookthetimetodiscussherprofessionalbackground.Notonlydidshehighlightwheresheworked,butshealsohighlightedwhatshehadlearnedaboutleadingpeople.Andnotallofherbackgroundwasfilledwithsuccesses.Sheadmittedtothegroupthatshehadlearnedthroughsomemistakesalongtheway.Shetalkedaboutwhatwasimportanttoherasaleader—whatherexpectationswereforherselfandforherteam.Shesharedsomeofherpersonalinterestsandalsotooktimetoanswerquestions.Shelettheteamknowthatshewouldbeschedulingindividual
meetingswitheachoftheminthecomingweekstolearnmoreaboutthem.InthebookOwntheRoom:DiscoverYourSignatureVoicetoMasterYour
LeadershipPresence,AmySuandMurielWilkinsdiscussmultiplewaysofframingthatyoucanadapttofityourleadershipstory.13First,youcanframeyourstoryrelativetowhereyoufitwithyourcompany’sbiggerpurposeandobjectives.Forexample,youwouldestablishaconnectionbetweenwheretheteamororganizationisgoingandhowyouchampionthat.Second,youcanframeyourleadershipstoryrelativetoaspecificpurposeoroutcome.Andthird,youmaywanttoillustrateyourmessagethroughastoryinordertobringittolife.
Yourleadershipstoryshouldbebasedonyourexperiencesandbeliefs.Yourexperiencesandbeliefshavetobefrontofmindforyou.Youshouldhavedataorexamplesthatreinforceyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit.
Sinceyoudonotknowandcannotplanforeverysituationthatwilllenditselftoyourtellingyourleadershipstoryorelementsofit,itisimportantforyoutobepreparedwiththekeymessagesyouwanttoreinforce.Thinkaboutthefollowingreflectivequestions.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTKNOWINGYOURMESSAGE1.What,inyourmind,arethemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory?2.Howwouldyoubestsummarizewhoyouareasaleader?3.Whataretheinspirationalaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Whataretheaspirationalaspects?
4.Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywouldyouliketofurtherrefine?5.Howcanyoubuildhabitsandroutinesaroundthinkingaboutyourleadershipstoryandkeymessages?
Rememberthatstorieshelpustointerpretthepastinordertoshapethefuture.Forpartofyourmessage,youwillwanttoclearlydifferentiatewhoyouareasaleaderfromwhoyouwanttobe.Itisasubtledifferencebutanimportantone.Thisshiftsyoufromastaticmind-settomoreofalearningandgrowthmind-set,anditaddsalevelofhumilitybyassumingthatyoustillhavesomethingtolearnasaleader.
Theanchorfortellingyourstoryliesinhowwellyouunderstand,believein,
andconnecttoyourownstory.Additionally,youneedyourstorytoberelevant.Wetalkinthenextpartaboutknowingyouraudience,butitisimportanttopointoutherethatthereisadirectrelationshipbetweenknowingyourmessage,knowingyouraudience,andknowingtheorganizationalcontext—orwhattheorganizationvalues.Ifyourmessageisnotalignedwitheitheroftheseothertwoentities,yourleadershipstorymaybeunderappreciatedormisinterpreted.
Bob’sStrugglewithMessage“Framingmymessage…gosh,Tim.IamnotsureIknowtheessenceofmyleadershipmessage,letalonehowtoframeitforothers,”Bobsaid.
Hewasunderstandablyfrustrated.Afterall,hehadbeenaprojectmanagerwithacoupleofdirectreports.Rightnow,however,heisbeginningtoseethathehasboxedhimselfinbybeingthelonerangerincompaniesthatwanttodevelopstrategicleadersforinitiativesthatarebiggerthananordinary,short-term,let’s-get-this-done-this-quarterkindofproject.
“Tim,acoupleofdaysagoyoucorrectedmeaboutelevatorspeeches—youtoldmethatmyleadershipstoryisnotsomeone-sentenceelevatorspeech.OK,fillmein.Isitaparagraph,apage…Ijust…”
“Wearenottalkingwordsandpunctuationhere,Bob,”Iasserted.“Wearetalkingaboutagrandvision.Wearetalkingaboutanemotionaljoltthatmakespeopleyouleadsay,‘Wow,Iwanttobepartofthat.’Thisisaflag,ananthem,andabattleplanallwrappedupinnontangibleterms,notabumperstickeroraprojectsummary.
“Letmeaskyouaboldquestion,”Icontinued.“Canyoudescribethegrandideayouwouldliketoimplementandleadwithabig,strategicteamyouchooseandguide?Whatwoulditbelike?”
“Well,IsupposeI’dhavetoidentifythetypeofpeoplefirst,”Bobbegan.“Theydon’tallhavetobeinmyprofession,right?Icanhaveamixed,diversegroupofpeople,notallwiththesameviewpoint?”
“Bob,thisisabreakthrough.You’vehadsomething—somethingbig—inmindforawhile,haven’tyou?Nowyouhaveareasontodevelopaleadershipstory.Oryoumighthaveanevenlongerrésuméofemployersfromnowuntilthenextdecade.Yourchoice,guy,”Isaidsmiling.
QuickTips
ToKnowYourMessage
1.Don’tfabricateormisrepresentyourleadershipstory.2.Knowthedifferencebetweenwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.
3.Rehearseyourstoryandelementsofit.4.Readbiographiesandautobiographiesofleaders.Notewhatmadethemgreatandhowtheirstorywastold.
STEP7
KnowYourAudience
Youarethefirstaudienceforyourleadershipstory.Yourjobistodeterminewhatisworthtelling.Then,onceyouhavefilteredthroughandidentifiedthemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory,thestorytellingmustbecomecollaborative.Itreinforcesandbridgestherelationshipbetweenyouandyouraudience.Andrecallthatyourleadershipstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers.Therefore,youraudienceplaysanimportantroleinyourleadershipstory.
Itisnotsimplyaboutcreatingabiggeraudienceoronewithmoreseniorleaders.Forexample,ifyouareafirst-timeleaderjuststartingoutatacompany,itmaybeunlikelythatthepresidentorCEO(orotherseniorleader)isinyourimmediateaudience.Sothischapterislessaboutincreasingyouraudienceandmoreaboutensuringthesignificanceofyourmessagewithexistingaudiences.
Storiesneedtoberelevanttotheiraudience.Asyourleadershipstoryevolves,youneedtobeawareofhowyoufitwithothersandtheorganization.Inotherwords,thinkabouthowyourleadershipstoryisalignedwithandsupportsothers.Youneedtoidentifywhothoseinyouraudienceare,whattheywanttoknow,whytheyshouldknowit,andhowandwhentoengagethem.Keepinmindthattheexchangeshouldbetwo-way:asyougivetheminformationaboutyourleadershipstory,seektounderstandwhatisimportanttothematthesametime.
Jessicametwithhersupervisoreveryotherweek.Sheusedthesamestandardtemplateforherupdatesthatsheusedforherteam.Shelistedtheprojects,theirstatus,anyaccomplishments,andanybarriers.Jessicawasreportingonwhatshewascomfortablewith,whatshewouldwanttohaveknown,andwhatshethoughthersupervisorwantedtoknow.Healwaysnoddedandmadesomenotes,buthealsoroutinelyaskedJessicaquestionsaboutthedetailsofthefinancialstatements.SometimesJessicawaspreparedandsometimesshewasnot.ItgavehersupervisortheimpressionthatJessicaeitherwasn’tinformedordidn’tcareaboutthedetails,specificallythefinancialdetailsthatthesupervisorcaredverymuchabout.
Atherannualperformancereview,Jessicawassurprisedtobetoldthatherinattentiontothesedetailswasanegative.Shehadworkedatthecompanyforyears,andthiswasthefirsttimeshehadreceivedthisfeedback.Theexpectationsofthecompanyand,moreimportant,hersupervisorhadshifted.Oncesherealizedthatthiswascriticalinformationforhersupervisorandthat
Oncesherealizedthatthiswascriticalinformationforhersupervisorandthatshewasn’tmeetingexpectations,Jessicarevisedhermeetingstobeginwithafinancialreviewandwaspreparedtoansweranyquestions.
Shealsotriedtoincorporatethisnewrevisionintoherregularteammeetings.Afterthethirdmeetingwithhernewfinancialreviewagendaitem,shecouldsensethatthegroupwasshuttingdown.Outsideofthemeeting,Jessicaaskedoneofherdirectreportswhytheteamwasdisengagedduringthemeetings.Hesaidsomeoftheteamfeltasiftheywerebeingbeatenupinfrontoftheirpeers.Furthermore,manyofthedetailsdidnotpertaintoeveryoneintheroom,sotheywerehavingahardtimefollowingtheconversation.
AlthoughJessicahadbeenaleaderatthecompanyforoverthreeyears,shehadan“aha”momentthatbroughtheranewunderstanding.Upuntilthattime,shehadbeenprovidingtheinformationthatshethoughtwasimportant.Herlessoninallofthiswasthatleadershipwasnotabouther.Sherealizedthattheinformationherbosswantedwasverydifferentfromwhatherpeersneeded.Andbothwerecontributingtoherleadershipstory.Forherboss,thestorywasabouttheextenttowhichJessicaunderstoodthebusinessandtrackedthedetails.Forherteam,thestorybeingwrittenwasthatJessicacaredlessabouttheiraccomplishmentsthanshedidaboutbottom-linedetails.
Identifyingyouraudienceisnotthedifficultpart.Thechallenge,rather,istodeterminewhattheyalreadybelieveaboutyourleadershipstory,theirexpectations,whattheyperceiveasimportant,andhowthatalignswithyourviews.Peopleinyouraudiencewillbelookingtoeitherholdupyourleadershipstoryagainsttheirexpectationsorvalidatetheirexistingperceptionsaboutyourleadershipstory.Inotherwords,theywilllooktomakesenseofwhattheyknoworperceiveaboutyou.Yourjobistodeterminewhatisimportanttothem.Itisalsohelpfultoknowtheorganization’svaluesandwhereyoufitwithintheorganization.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTKNOWINGYOURAUDIENCES
1.Whoareyourkeyaudiencesthatyouinteractwithmostfrequently?2.Whoareyourmostimportantaudiences?3.Whichaudiences’needsdoyouhavethebestunderstandingof?Whichdoyouknowleast?
4.Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneed
4.Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneedtoknow?Why?
5.Whathappenswhenyourleadershipstoryisnotaccuratelyrepresentedtoorbyothers?
Whenitcomestoidentifyingyouraudiences,thereareafewkeygroupsthatyoushouldinclude:yourdirectreports,yoursupervisor,andyourpeers.Eachofthesegroupshasadifferentneedaroundunderstandingyourleadershipstory.
Itisimportantthatyouidentifytheneedsofeachaudience,andIwouldsuggestthatyouleavelittletochancewhenitcomestohowothersperceiveyourstory.Interpretationcanbetheenemyofauthorship.Whilesomegeneralneedsaretypicallyassociatedwitheachgroup,yourchallengeistofurtheridentifyyouraudiencesanddeterminethespecificneedswithinthem.
Toeffectivelycommunicateyourleadershipstorytoyouraudience,youneedtoshowempathyandestablishrelevance.Youneedtobeabletoputyourselfintheirshoes.Thebestwaytoshowempathyandknowwhatisrelevantfordifferentaudiencesistoaskthem.Whatisontheirmind?Whatconcernsdotheyhave?Whatinspiresandmotivatesthem?Understandingthiswillallowyoutoframeyourleadershipstoryaccordingly.Remember,thiscomponentofyourleadershipstoryisnotaboutyou;itisaboutthem.
Althougheachaudienceisimportantinitsownright,youshouldthinkaboutthefrequencyofyourinteractionwithaparticularaudienceandtheimportanceofthemessagerelativetothataudience.Yourmessagemaybeimportant,andthereismoreroomforcoursecorrectioninyourstoryforthosewithwhomyoufrequentlyinteract.Ontheotherhand,ifyouinteractinfrequentlywithanaudienceandthemessagetothemisparticularlyimportant,youmustbepreparedandgetthemessageofyourleadershipstoryright.
Foryourdirectreports,youneedtostateyourintentionsasaleader.Referbackto“Step1:DefineYourPlot”forthis.Theyshouldknowwhatleadershipmeanstoyou,whatyouvalue,andyourexpectations.Theyneedtohaveaclearsenseofwhereyouaretakingtheteamandhowyouintendtogetthere.Theyneedtobemotivatedandinspired.Andtheyneedtobeprovidedwithfeedback,berewardedandrecognized,andknowhowyouwillsupporttheirdevelopment.
Yoursupervisorneedstoknowhowyouwillsupporthertoaccomplishhergoalsandthebroaderorganizationalgoals.Referbackto“Step4:DevelopYourTheme”forthis.Insimpleterms,shewillwanttoknowhowyouwillgetresults.Shewillbekeenonyourcapabilitytogetthejobdone;howyouhandleorganizationalissues,challenges,andopportunities;whetheryouhaveexecutive
presence;howyoucommunicatewithherandotherleaders;andavarietyofotherpossibilities.Yourjobistodeterminewhatyoursupervisorwantsandhowyoucanbestsupporther,evenifyoudonotagreewithheroneverything.Thereisaconceptcalledmanagingupthatreferstohowwellyouworkwithyoursupervisorandkeephimorherinformed.
Yourpeerswillwanttoknowhowwellyoucollaboratewithandsupporttheminachievingmutuallydependentgoals.Referbackto“Step2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters”and“Step3:PrepareforConflict”forthis.Youwilllikelyneedtoworkdifferentlywithprotagoniststhanyoudowithantagonists.
Keepinmindthatthereareothercharactersinyourstorywhoareneitherprotagonistsnorantagonists.Thepointisthatyouhavemanyaudiencestoconsider,withdifferingneedsandexpectationsofyourleadership.Youmayverylikelyhavetoadaptovertimeandperhapsevenmodifyyourleadershipinavarietyofsituations.Thistakesself-awarenessinwhoyouareasaleader.
Inadditiontoknowingwhoyouraudiencesareandwhattheycareabout,howyoucommunicatewithyourvariousaudiencesisimportant.Technologyhasbecomeapopularandsometimesusefulmeansforcommunication.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,communicatingviatechnology,whilefastandefficient,isone-dimensional.Ittendstobeliteralandsubjecttotheinterpretationoftherecipient.Sowhencommunicatingaspectsofyourleadershipstory,istechnologyafriendorafoe?Thatisforyoutodecide.Onesuggestiontoconsideristhatyoushouldnevercommunicateanythingviatechnologythatcouldelicitanemotionalresponse.
Bob’sAudience“Tim,allalongIthoughtaudiencemeantthepeopleIleadonsomething,”Bobsaid.
“Itdoesmeanthat,”Iasserted.“OK,butduringthissession,youtalkedaboutdifferentaudiences,includingtheCEO.Iamnotleading
uppermanagement!”heclaimed.“Yes,youare—ifyouareasuccessfulleader,”Isaidemphatically,playingwithhimatad.Hehadtheeyesofadeerintheheadlights.“SoIhavetoknowwhataCEOwantsinmyleadership
ability,andthatmightbedifferentfromwhatpeersanddirectreportsneedtoknow?”“Precisely.Inthelastsession,Iaskedifyouhaveeverhadagranddesignyouwantedtopulloff.Most
leadershavehadagranddesign.That’swhatleadersdo.Now,whomdoyouthinkthoseleadershadtoconvinceaboutthosebig,strategicinitiatives?Itwasn’tjustpeersorpotentialteammembers.Thoseleadersspentdays,weeks,pullingtogetherproposalsandcostanalysesandPowerPoints,andthencorralledtheCEOandexecutivestaff.Sure,thebigguyscouldhavesaidno,buttheywererisktakerstoo.Andtheysensedsomething.Theirintuitionabouttheleaderkickedin.Bob,they,too,wantedtobeledbyleaders
sensedsomething.Theirintuitionabouttheleaderkickedin.Bob,they,too,wantedtobeledbyleaderswhoseleadershipstoryhadcredandwhohadahistoryofpullingoffbigstuff.Getitnow?Haven’tyoumadeproposalstothebrassbefore?”
“Sure,Ihave.Sometimestheysayyes,andsometimestheysayno.”“Nokidding?Theysometimessayno?Bob,thanksfortellingmethat!”Isaidaswebothlaughed.
WhatBobwasgettingissimple:Practicebeingaleadertoallyouraudiences,andtheyesratemightclimb.Steeply.
QuickTips
ToKnowYourAudience
1.Testthewaterswithselectindividualsbytellingthemaspectsofyourleadershipstory.Gaugetheirreactiontowhatyousaidandhowyousaiditbyaskingforfeedback.Afterward,don’tnecessarilychangeyourmessage,butconsiderreframingitforthataudience.
2.Findspecificexamplesandstoriesofwhatconstitutessuccessfulleadershipatyourcompany.
3.Understandand/ordefinethevisionofyourcompanyorteam,andknowhowyourpersonalmissionsupportsthegreatervision.
STEP8
MaximizeMomentsofTruth
Life–andyourleadershipstory–ismadeupofaseriesofmoments.Whenthereissomethingtobegainedorlost,Icallthesemomentsoftruth.Momentsoftrutharedistinctopportunitiestoshareorreinforceyourleadershipstory.Itistheseeventsthatmakeyourleadershipstorymemorable.Tomakeyourleadershipstorystick,yourgoalisfortheseeventstobeaspositiveandtruetoyourleadershipstoryaspossible.
Let’ssayyouarewatchingabasketballgame.Ifyouareaskedtorecallthatgameimmediatelyafterward,youwillprobablyrememberagoodnumberofdetails.Evenso,youarenotlikelytoremembereverypass,shot,ordribble,eventhoughtheymighthavebeenimportantinthemoment.Astimegoesby,youarelikelytorememberevenfewerdetails.That’sjusthowmemoryworks.
Ontheotherhand,inthatsamebasketballgame,youarelikelytoremembersomethingamazingthathappened—perhapsitwasaslamdunkorshotatthe
somethingamazingthathappened—perhapsitwasaslamdunkorshotattheendtowinthegame,orperhapsitwasamissedshot.Youaremorelikelytoremembersomethingoutoftheordinary.Thinkofamomentoftruthasagreatawakening,arevelationthatchangesasignificantpartofyourviewoflife.Inshort,amomentoftruthisnevermomentary.Itlasts.Long.
Relatingthistoyourlifeandcareer,youmightencounteronlyafewdifference-makingmoments—ormomentsoftruth—andtheyneedtobemaximized.Howareyoupreparedforthosemoments?Areyousurethatyouwillidentifythemasmomentsoftruth,orwilltheyjustbemomentary?Somemaywellbenegativetruths.Andintheeventthattheydon’tgoyourway,howareyoupreparedtohandlethosemoments?Doyoulearnfromthemsothatyouarebetterpreparedforthenextone?
Kevinisnotonetotalkabouthisaccomplishments.Hethinksthatwouldsoundasifhewerebragging.Soinstead,hemaintainsalowprofileandkeepstheaccomplishmentsofhisteamandhispersonalaccomplishmentstohimself.Whenaskedbyhisbossaboutupdates,hesharessomesubstantialaccomplishmentsbutdoessoinaratherblandway—asjustpartofaone-pagebulletedweeklysummary.
Hehasnoticedthatanotherteam,ledbyKristine,hasbeengettinglotsofkudosandrecognitionfromleadersacrosstheorganization.Kevinwonderswhatthebigdealis.SeveralmonthsgobywithafewmoreaccoladesforKristine’steam,andthentheorganizationannouncesthatKristineandthreemembersofherteamaregettingpromotedforallthehardworktheyhavedoneandtheircontributionstothebusiness.
Timingiscriticalwhenitcomestobuildingandcommunicatingyourleadershipstory.Goodfortunefavorstheprepared.Youhaveanopportunity—Iwouldsayanobligation—tobepreparedandtobeproactiveinmakingthemostofyourmomentsoftruth.Thinkaboutthefollowingreflectivequestionstoprepareforyourmomentsoftruth.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOHELPMAXIMIZEMOMENTSOFTRUTH1.Whataresomespecificopportunitiesforyoutoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?
2.Whatdoyouseeasyourmomentsoftruth?3.Howcanyoubestbepreparedforunanticipatedopportunitiestoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?
leadershipstoryoraspectsofit?4.Whataresomeadditionalopportunitiesforcontactwithkeyaudiences?5.Howdoyouutilizemomentsoftruthasatooltolearnandteachothers?
Momentsoftruthcanbeplannedorunanticipated,andtheycanbeformal(e.g.,meetings)orinformal(e.g.,chanceencountersandcasualconversations).Plannedmomentsoftruthcanincludeeventssuchasstartinganewjob,joininganewteamororganization,one-on-onemeetings,orpresentations.Theoperativewordhereisplanned.Youseethemcoming,andyouneedtoplanforthem.
Andevenwiththeseplannedmomentsoftruth,tellingyourleadershipstorycantakeonanumberofvariations,fromsubtletodirect.Forexample,ifyouarestartinganewteamorproject,youhaveanopportunitytotellyourleadershipstory.Itmaybetoyouradvantagetobeclearaboutyourintentionsandexpectationsasaleader.
Unplannedmomentsoftruthcantakeonanumberofforms.Forexample,youmayhaveachanceencounterwithasupervisororcolleague,ormeetsomeonenewataprofessionalconference.Noteverythingshouldbecompletelyscriptedbyyou.
Whethertheyareplannedorunanticipated,beingpreparedforyourmomentsoftruthrequiresstrongself-awarenessandpreparation.Thosemomentsareanopportunitytoreinforceandbuilduponyourleadershipstory.Theyareanopportunitytoclarify,inspire,andenlistotherprotagonists.
Youarenotnecessarilylookingforvolumewhenitcomestothesemoments.Infact,youshouldbecautiousaboutovercommunicatingyourleadershipstoryortryingtoohard.Thatmaylookliketellingeverybodyeverythingallthetime.Thinkqualityofencounteroverquantity.
Youandyourleadershipstorymaybejudgedbyyouractionsduringthesemomentsoftruthasmuchasbyyourinaction.Areyoucoolandprepared?Orareyouflustered?Doyouspeakupandofferinsights,ordoyousitback?Whatisimportantistocompletelyunderstandyourmessage—yourbeliefsasaleader,aswellasyourcapabilitiesandlimitations.Youneedtoanticipatetheunanticipated.
Buthowdoyoudothat?Youneedtoconstantlyworkonscenarios—thosepossibilities—inyourmind.Gooverthemjustasyouwouldrehearseforanimportantpresentation.
Itisequallyimportanttolookatthedarksideofthisequation.Missedopportunitiesandlackofpreparationfortheunanticipatedcansetyourleadershipstoryback.
leadershipstoryback.AshleywasanewleaderIworkedwith.Sheverymuchwantedtoimpress
hercolleagues,hersupervisor,andakeysetofcustomers.Shewasalwaysquicktovolunteertoleadprojectsasawaytoshowherinitiativeandcapabilities.Shealwayssaid,“Igotit,”onlytoregularlyfallshortofexpectationswithmissedtimelinesandprojectsthatdidnotrepresentneedsorexpectations.Whileshebelievedshewasbeingagreatleaderandshowinggreatinitiative,hernarrativewasbeingwrittenandreinforcedwitheverypassing“Igotit.”Ashleyhadblownseveralmomentsoftruth.Anysinglemisswouldnothavereinforcedthisstory,butoverarelativelyshortamountoftime,shebecameknownacrossallofherkeystakeholdergroupsassomeonewhodidnotgetit.
Themessageforyou?Setrealisticexpectationsaboutwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader.Youshouldunderpromiseandoverdeliver.Youcangetinyourownwayandevenderailyourleadershipstory.Or,withpreparationforandmaximizingofmomentsoftruth,youcanbeyourownbestchampion.
Bob’sMomentsofTruth
Bobhashadseveralmomentsoftruthsofar.Heispickingupthecuesforhisleadershipstory,stepbystep.
“Iamcuriousaboutsomethingrelatedtowhenyougotthislatestjob,”Ibegan.“Didanyoneontheinterviewteamaskyousomethinglike“Bob,what’sthebiggestinitiativeyouled?”or“Bob,whatwasthelongesttimelineyouhadforaproject?”
“Yeah.Ididgetaskedbothofthosequestions,nowthatyoumentionit,Tim.”“Youhavejustarrivedatanothermomentoftruth,Bob.Theyareexpectingbiggerthings,andyoucan’t
waitanylongertowrite,direct,andactoutyourleadershipstory,”Isaidfirmly.
QuickTips
ToRecognizeandMaximizeYourMomentsofTruth
1.Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,presentations,etc.).
2.Createyourownmomentsoftruthbygettingactivelyinvolvedinprojects.Volunteerwhenyouknowyoucanexceedexpectationsthataddvaluetothebusinessorsolveachallengingorcomplexproblem.(Note:donotovercommitoroverpromise.)
3.Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethe
3.Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethebusiness.(Note:thisisnotabouttrackingalistofcomplaints,butabouthavinggenuineandrealisticideasforwhereyou[and/orothers]couldimprovethebusiness.)Lookfortherighttimeandaudiencetosharethoseideas.
STEP9
ActionsSpeakLouderThanWords
Thelanguageyouuseisawindowintoyou,andsoareyouractions.Youcertainlyneedtobecognizantofwhatyouandotherssayaboutyourleadershipstory,butyouractionsareanotherveryimportantwayyouexpressyourleadershipstory.
Asaleader,youareonstagevirtuallyatalltimes.Youractionsmustalignwithyourstory.Yourleadershipstorywillbedefinedbyyouractionsbecauseotherswillbelookingtovalidatetheirperceptionsaboutleadershipwithyourstory.So,whatyousay,whatyoudo,andyourleadershippresencearenotthreeseparatenotions.Together,theymakeupyourleadershipstory.
Whenyourwordsandactionsdonotmatch,yourcredibilitywillsuffer.Thelackofcredibilityorconsistencywillthenbecomepartofyourstory.Credibilityreferstothealignmentbetweenwhatyousayandwhatyoudo.Doyoudowhatyousay,anddopeoplebelievewhatyousay?
Amoreimportantaspectofyourleadershipstoryisauthenticity.Authenticityreferstotheextenttowhichyourbeliefsarealignedwithyourwordsandyouractions.Itisadeeperconnectionandgetsatthecoreofwhoyouareasaleader.Toincreaseauthenticity,youagainneedtohaveastrongself-awarenessofwhatyoubelieveandvalueasaleader.“Step1:DefineYourPlot”providesthefoundationforanauthenticleadershipstory.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTTHEROLEOFACTIONSANDOTHERNONVERBALCOMMUNICATION1.Towhatextentcanpeoplereadyouremotions?2.Whatdoesyourimage—yourstyle,attire,officespace,etc.—sayaboutyouasaleader?
asaleader?3.Howdoesyourattitudeimpactothersaroundyou?4.Howwouldyoudescribeyourexecutivepresence?Howwouldothersdescribeit?
5.Howmightyouboostyourimage?
Whenyouwanttofocusontellingyourleadershipstory,youneedtobeawareoftheactionsyoutake,aswellasyournonverbalcommunicationandpresence.Italltiestogether.Theseaspectsofyourleadershipstorycontributetoyourconfidence,image,credibility,andtrustworthiness.Forexample,youcannotsaythatyouhaveanopen-doorpolicyandthennotbeavailable.Or,youcannotsaythatyouvaluecollaborationandthennotseekinputfromothers.Youcannotsaythatyouvaluebuildingstrongrelationshipsandthensitinyourofficeallday.
Iknowaleader,Hannah,whowasjustbeginningherroleasaleader.Hannahwouldoftensaythatshewasagoodleader.Myresponsetoherwas,“Don’tsayyouareagoodleader.Gobeagoodleader.”Ifgreatleadershiprequiresyoutoinspireandmotivateothers,youneedtoactivelyengageothers.Relationships,again,arekey.Thinkabouthowyouarephysicallypresent,visible,andavailabletoyourteam.Thinkaboutwhetheryouseekthemoutortheyhavetoseekyouout.Again,ifthereareparticularaspectsofleadershipthatareimportanttoyou—ifyoubelievethattheyareessentialforgreatleadershipandacorepartofyourleadershipstory—youneedtotakeactionsthatareconsistentwiththosebeliefs.Forexample,ifbeingaccessibleisimportanttoyou,doyouseekothersoutproactivelyorwaitforthemtocometoyou?Youractionsspeakvolumesabouthowyouvalueaccessibility.
Youneedtobetruetoyourself.Itmayrequireoperatingoutsideofyourcomfortzone.Minimally,itwillrequireastrongsenseofself-awareness.Youmaythinkyouareagoodorgreatleader.Ifyouractionsdonotsupportthat,othersareunlikelytoperceiveyouthatway,nomatterhowloudlyandhowoftenyouproclaimit.Asintheexamplesabove,ifyoubelieveinbuildingstrong,collaborativerelationships,youmusttakeappropriateaction.Walkaroundandgettoknowyourteammembers.
Yourleadershipstorywillalsoexistintheheartsandmindsofothersrelativetoyourleadershippresence.Leadershippresenceisachoice.Andsinceothersaremakingjudgmentsaboutyou,youneedtoconsiderhowyoudress,howyoukeepyourworkspace,yourbodylanguage,yourexpressions,yourmood,yourtone,andhowyoucarryyourself.Doyouappearasifyoucareornot?Howdoesyourstylefitwiththeorganization?Youneedtolookaroundandmakea
doesyourstylefitwiththeorganization?Youneedtolookaroundandmakeadetermination.
Joshledateamofsevenpeople,rangingfrombrand-newemployeesfreshoutofschooltoseasonedveterans.NoonequestionedJosh’sintelligence.AndJoshcapitalizedonthatwithasaying,“It’swhat’sinyourheadthatmatters,aboveallelse.”
ThatshowedinotherareasofJosh’slifeatwork.Hisworkspacewasmessyandappeareddisorganized,althoughheclaimedthatheknewwhereeverythingwas.Whilemostleadersinthecompanyworepressedshirtsandasportcoat,Joshfrequentlyworeanuntuckedgolfshirt.Manypeoplelaugheditoff.SomeofthemorejunioremployeesevenemulatedJosh’sattire.Theysaid,“Hey,itworksforJosh.”
ThentwoofJosh’speersweregivenadditionalleadershipresponsibilities—onewasastraightpromotion,andtheotherwasahighlydesirableprojectthatJoshwasasqualifiedtohandle,ifnotmoreso.Theprojectwasgoingtohavehighvisibilityforthecompany,forthepersonleadingit,andfortheteamworkingonit.
Joshwenttohisbossandaskedwhyhehadnotgottentheopportunity,andhisbossexplainedthatwhiletechnicalknowledgewasakeyconsideration,itwasnottheonlyone.Giventheproject’svisibility,itwasequallyimportantthatthepersonleadingthisprojectreflectthecompanywellthroughhisorherprofessionaldemeanor.
BobBalancesWordswithAction“Idon’tgetit,Tim.WhatJoshworeisunimportant.Hey,we’vegonefromcasualFridaystocasualweeksinthelast10years.Andlotsofcreativepeoplearequitedisorganized.Youknow,it’stheleft-side,right-sidebrainstuff.Somepeoplearelogical,andothersareintuitiveandsometimeserratic,”Bobsaidwithsomefrustration.
“OK,Bob,let’sputthisinperspective.Peoplemakejudgments,oftensubliminallyorwithoutthinkingoffairness,”Itoldhim.“Putyourselfinthebigguy’schair.You’rethebigboss,andyouhaveachoiceforthatbigstrategicinitiative.Ifallthingsareequal,whichpersondoyouchoosetoleadit?ThepersonwithPost-itnotesstuckalloverthecubicle,withpilesofpapersonthefloor,whooftenshowsuplookinglikehesleptinhisclothes?Orthepersonwhoisnotlikethat—keepinmind,allotherthingsareequal—someonewhodoesn’ttriggersnickers.Ifyou’retheboss,youmighthavetospendtimeovercomingallkindsofobjections,suchas‘Yousureyouwantthatpersonrunningthisthing?’Allthingsequal,yougowiththeeasysell,Bob.”
“Butlet’sgetbacktome,”hesaid.“I’mnotanyofthosethings.”“Maybeso,butactionsspeaklouderthanwords.Givenwhatyou’vetoldme,youapparentlyaren’tvery
engagingwithevenyourpeergroup,withwhomyoucouldinteract,share,andsolvecommonproblems,encouragingandsupportingeachother.Thatlonerangerthingdefinesyourleadership—orlackthereof,”I
encouragingandsupportingeachother.Thatlonerangerthingdefinesyourleadership—orlackthereof,”Itoldhimwithsomehesitation.
QuickTips
ToMakeYourActionsandOtherNonverbalCommunicationSpeakLouderThanWords
1.Alwayslookonelevelormoreupintheorganizationtoseehowleadersdress,carrythemselves,andkeeptheirworkspace.Modelthatandsettheexample.
2.Makealistofwhereyouandotherswouldrateyouhighlywithregardtoexecutivepresenceandwhereyouneedtoimprove.Howdoothersviewyourpresence?Writeaspecificplanforhowyouwillimproveyourexecutivepresenceandcreategreateralignment.
3.Walkaroundandinteractwithindividualsonyourteamregularly.Besuretogotothemandgettoknowthemonapersonallevel,andseethattheyhavetheresourcesandsupporttogettheirjobdone.
4.Ifyouractionsandwordseverdonotalign,recognizeitandrecalibrateyourstoryoractionsaccordingly.
STEP10
EnlistOtherstoTellYourLeadershipStory
MostleadersIworkwithareuncomfortabletellingtheirleadershipstory.Theyfeelitistoomuchlikeself-promotion.Whetheryoufallintothiscategoryornot,thisstepisforyoubecauseIhavefoundthoseinstinctstobemostlyonpoint.Youhavetobecarefulaboutwhatyousayaboutyourselfversuswhatotherssayaboutyou.
Becauseyouhaveavestedinterestinyourself,yourleadershipstoryisbesthandledthroughthewordsofothers.Ifyousingyourownpraises,peoplemaybeskepticalorevenresistant.Theymaylookforwaystodiscountyouorevencontradictyou.Thischapterfocusesonwhomtoenlisttotellaspectsofyourleadershipstory,howtoenlistthem,andwhy.
Petewasanextremelyhardworker.Heledateamof14professionals,andworkrequiredhimtotravelalmosteverymonth.Althoughitwaslogisticallydifficulttokeepupwithalltheobligationsofleadingateam,itwasapriorityfor
difficulttokeepupwithalltheobligationsofleadingateam,itwasapriorityforPete.
Duringonestretch,hewasoutoftheofficefornearlythreeweeks.OneoftheweeksinvolvedaseriesofmeetingsthatincludedGeorgia,thecompany’sseniorvicepresidentofmarketing.InacasualconversationwithGeorgia,thetopiccameupthatitwasdifficultforPetetobeawayfromhisfamilyandtheteamforanytime,butthisthree-weekrunwasparticularlyhardonhim.Petedidn’tcomplainaboutthetravel;hesimplystatedthatitwasalongrun.
Thefollowingweek,whilePetewasstilltraveling,Georgiawasbackintheofficeandatameetingwiththeleadersofeachofthedepartments.Thesubjectofworkplaceflexibilitycameup,andaseniorleaderfromanotherdepartmentsaid,“HaveyounoticedhowmuchPetehasbeenoutoftheoffice?Itseemslikeheisneverhere.”Georgiareplied,“Nowwaitaminute.Peteisoutoftheofficeonworktravel.Heisworkinghardandcommittedtothiscompany.”HadGeorgianotbeeninthatmeetingandspokeninPete’sdefense,thestorythatmayhavebeenwrittenwasthatPetewasoutoftheoffice,takingadvantageofworkplaceflexibility.Instead,thestorythatwasreinforcedwasthatPetewasdedicatedtothecompanyandwillingtomakeasacrificeforit.
RecruitingCredibilitySubstitutes
Anyoneyouenlisttotellyourleadershipstoryactsasacredibilitysubstitute.Inhis1998HarvardBusinessReviewarticle“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion,”JayCongerhighlightstheimportanceofcredibilitysubstitutes.Henotesthatcredibilitygrowsoutofexpertiseandrelationships,andcredibilitysubstitutesaretrustedexpertswhosecredibilitybecomesasubstituteforyourown.14
Thisreinforcestheideathatwhomyouknow—orratherwhoknowsyourleadershipstory—canbeasimportantaswhatyouknow.Whenitcomestoyourleadershipstory,youcanenlistcredibilitysubstitutesbytakinginitiativeandvolunteeringtogetinvolvedwithprojectsthatyoucandowell,establishingstrongrelationshipsandshowcasingyourcapabilities.Butthistakestime.Iamremindedofthesayingthatittakes100actstobuildtrustandonlyonetotearitdown.Thatholdstrueforcredibilityaswell.
REFLECTIVEQUESTIONSTOTHINKABOUTBEFOREENLISTINGOTHERSTOTELLYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY1.Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?
1.Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?2.Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyourcredibilitysubstitutes?Why?
3.Whatwouldyouwantotherstosayaboutyourleadershipstorywhenyou’renotaround?
4.Howcanyouplantseedswithothersforyourtrueleadershipstorytogrow?5.Howcanyouensurethatpeoplewithinyourteamandorganizationknowwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader?
Credibilitysubstitutesarepowerfulbecausetheyhavelessofavestedinterestorpotentialforbias,andtheycanvouchforyou.Evenwithcredibilitysubstitutes,itmatterswhothesubis.Ifasenior-levelleaderwhoisrespectedacrosstheorganizationtellsyourleadershipstory,itwillbenefitmorethanifanantagonististellingit.Itisbesttohavemultiple,credibleindividualssupportingyourleadershipstory.Youhavetoletpeoplegettoknowyou,andyouneedtobuildrelationshipsbeyondthesuperficialforthattohappen.Thetruthofthematteris,youhavetomakeaneffort.
Awordofcautionhere:watchyourmotivesforgettingtoknowpeopleandhavingthemgettoknowyou.Ifyourmotivesarestrictlyforself-promotion,itrarelywillworktoyouradvantage.Peopleseethroughthatstuff.Anditdoesnothavetobeallabouthoweachother’sweekendwas.Yourcredibilitysubstituteswillcomefrompeoplewhotrustthatyouaregoingtohelpthem,theorganization,thedepartment,andtheteamtolookgood.Thetruthis,peoplemakejudgmentsallthetime.Someareconsciousandsomemaybesubconscious.Buttheyareaskingthesebasicquestions:Canyoubetrustedwithbiggerresponsibility?Togetthejobdone?Toreflectwellontheorganization?
Therecanbeseveralsourcesofcredibilitysubstituteswhenitcomestotellingyourleadershipstory.Forstarters,youneedprotagoniststotellyourstory.Theprotagonistsyouidentifiedin“Step2:IdentifyandBuildStrongRelationshipswithYourKeyCharacters”provideagreatstart.Thesearepeopleyouidentifiedwhobelieveinyou.Theywanttoseeyousucceed.
Antagonistscanplayanimportantroleaswell.Butyoumustreestablishyourrelationshipwiththemandensurethattheyaccuratelyknowkeypointsofyourleadershipstory.Sinceyouhaveidentifiedsomeinitialpotentialantagonists,yourjobistoestablishamoreconstructiverelationshipwiththem.Youwillbestaccomplishthisthroughidentifyingcommonground,establishingallegiances,andperhapsseekingfirsttounderstandtheirpointofviewwhileclarifyingyours.Youmaynotconverteachantagonisttoaprotagonist,butthestrongerthe
yours.Youmaynotconverteachantagonisttoaprotagonist,butthestrongertherelationshipsyoubuild,thebetteroffyou(andyourleadershipstory)willbe.
Therolethatothersplayinyourstorycanbestbeillustratedwithastoryfromoutsideofthebusinessenvironment.Agoodfriendofmineandaformercolleague,Mary,toldmethisstory,anditisaperfectlyappropriateexampleofenlistingotherstotellyourstory.Shewaspartofagroupoffriendswhoperiodicallygottogethersocially,usuallyinvolvingfoodandlivelyconversation.Therewasanewperson,Jackie,whohadjustbecomefriendswithothersinthegroup.MaryhadnotyethadthechancetomeetJackie,butJackiehadbeentoseveralsocialeventswithsomeoftheotherfriends.AfteronesocialeventthatMarycouldnotattend,acoupleoffriendstoldMarythatshejusthadtomeetJackie.Amongotherthings,theysaid,Jackiemadethebestdeviledeggs.Ashorttimewentby,andafteranothersocialeventthatMarywasunabletoattend,sheheardfromseveralotherfriends,whosaid,amongotherthings,thatJackiemadethebestdeviledeggs.Sheaskedwhethertheyhadalltriedthemfirsthand,andtohersurprise,onlyhalfofthepeoplehadtriedthem.Jackiehadbecomeknownforoutstandingdeviledeggsevenifpeoplehadnotexperiencedthempersonally.Ithadbecomepartofherstory.Alittletimewentby,andMaryhadtheopportunitytotryJackie’sdeviledeggs.Shethoughttheyweregood.However,herexpectationshadbeensetsohigh,sheconcludedthatJackie’seggswerenotanybetterthanotherdeviledeggsshehadhad.
BobPondersWhomtoEnlist“HowamIgoingtorecruitthesecredsubs,Tim?”Bobasked.“Iamnewtothiscompany.”
“Youneedtochangeyoursenseofisolation,foronething,Bob,”Ireplied.“Youneedtoembraceasenseofcollegialitywithpeers.Gettoknowthem.Startalunchgroupwiththem,ormeetforbreakfaston,say,thefirstFridayofeverymonth.Makeitregularsothatit’sontheircalendars.Betheleaderofyourpeers,startingnextweek!Withdirectreports,doaone-on-oneeveryweek.Also,justdropintochat…‘Hey,how’sitgoing?’Showpeopleyouunderstandtheirconcernsaboutstuff.Listen…andthatdoesn’tmeanyoualwaysmustagree.Ifyoulisten,theywilllistenandunderstandwhatisonyourmind.Youdon’thaveanyantagonistsatthisplace—yet—sodon’tsowtheseedsofantagonism,”Itoldhim.“Plantyourleadership.Taketheinitiative.”
“Ihearyou…Ihearyou,”Bobsaid.AndthistimeIthinkhebegantounderstandthecareercrossroads,theopportunity,hewasfacing.
QuickTips
ToEnlistOtherstoTellYourStory
1.Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnabout
1.Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnaboutwhotheyareandwhattheydo.
2.Askotherstodescribewhatyouarelikewhenyouareatyourbest.3.Identifyatleastthreecredibilitysubstitutesforyou.
CONCLUSION
Leadershipisagift—agiftthatrequiresyoutosetadirection;motivate,inspire,anddevelopothers;anddeliverresultsthatmatter.Itisalsoajourney.Itisaboutyourexperiencesandtheinfluenceyouhaveonothers.Leadershipiscertainlyabouttheworkthatgetsdone,butitismuchmoreabouthowtheworkgetsdoneandtherelationshipsalongtheway.
Agreatstorycanmotivateandinspireothers.Itcanimpartamessage.Thinkabouthowyourleadershipstoryimpartsamessage,inspires,ormotivates.Remember,yourleadershipstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers,andyouareconstantlyonstageasaleader.Sometimesyoucanrehearseorplanahead.Othertimes,improvisationisneeded.Thosearoundyouwillhaveexpectations,assumptions,interpretations,andperceptionsthatimpactyourstory.Foryoutobeatyourbest,others’perceptionsofyoumustbealignedwithyourstory.
Considerthatyourleadershipstoryhasalltheelementsofagoodstory:plot,characters,conflict,theme,andsetting.Theseareeachinstrumentsbywhichyoucanunderstandwhereyouarealignedandwherethereisworktodoonyourstory.Nomatterwhereyouareinyourjourney,thereissomethingtobegainedbyusingthestoryasaframeworktoconsideryourpast,present,andfuture.Understandingyourleadershipstoryprovidesasolidfoundationforwhoyouare,whatyoubelievein,andwhatyouvalueasaleader.Itisareminderoftheimportantcharactersinyourstory,howyouhandleconflict,andwhatittakesforyoutobeatyourbest.
Itisimperativethatyoubeawareofwhatyoubelieveaboutyourselfandwhatothersperceiveasapathtowardauthenticity.Establishingthatawarenesswillallowyoutohavegreaterownershipandalignmentofyourstory.Youcannowbettermitigateinaccuraciesinyourstory,suchasbeingperceivedasinsecure,arrogant,orunreliable…orbeingoverlookedaltogether.Youshouldbeonyourwaytohavinggreatercontrolofyourleadershipnarrative,orpointofview.Andyouneedtocontinuetochallengeyourownassumptionsaboutwhatleadershipmeanstoyouandhowyouwillactasaleader.Youneedtocontinue
tomonitoryourleadershipstory.Understandingandtakingauthorshipofyourleadershipstoryisnotaneasy
task.Itmayrequireyousometimestoconfrontpersonalandinterpersonalissues.Itmayrequireyoutomaketoughdecisions.Avoidanceandinactionmaybetheeasierpath,butcertainlythelessfulfillingone.Additionally,ifyoudon’trecognizeandunderstandyourleadershipstory,youcannotcommunicateitormodifyit.Ontheotherhand,totheextentthatyouunderstandyourstory,youbecometheprimaryauthorofit.Youcanadjustyourstoryanduseittoenergizeandpossiblyeventransformothers.
Reviewing,reflecting,andunderstandingyourleadershipstorymaybetheeasypartoftheprocess,relativelyspeaking.Actionmaybethetoughestpart.And,moreimportant,turningactionsintohabitswillbedifficult.Habitsrequireself-awareness,practice,andfeedback.Turningactionsintogoodhabitshasthepotentialtobetransformational.Whatareyoupreparedtodotoproduceyourbestleadershipstory?Whatisyourcommitmenttoyourleadershipstory?
Aftercompletingtheactivitiesinthisbookandhavingotherscompleteactivities,howdoyoufeelaboutyourleadershipstory?Howhasyourmind-setaboutyourleadershipstoryshifted?Doyoubelieveinyourselfasaleader?Doyouneedtocreateanewstoryorperhapssimplyrefinesomeoftheelementsofyourcurrentstory?Maybeyouneedtochangethewayyourleadershipstoryisperceivedbyothersorpossiblyhowitiscommunicatedtoothers.Anyoftheseactionsrequireself-awarenessandinsightsaboutwhatyouaredoingwell,whatyoucoulddoevenbetter,whatyouareknownfor,andhowyouareperceived.
Thegoodnewsisthatyourleadershipstoryisdynamic.Youcanmodifyit.Youhavetheopportunitytowriteandrewriteyourleadershipstory.Infact,thatisthemarkofgoodleaders:theyareawareoftheirleadershipstoryandcanmakemodificationsasneeded.
Inadditiontoknowingyourmessage,whenitcomestocommunicatingyourstory,youshouldknowwhoyouraudienceis,whattheirperceptionsare,andwhattheywanttohear.Youshouldbeawareofanticipatedmomentsoftruthandpreparedfortheunanticipatedones.Thereismoregoodnews.Youarenotalonewhenitcomestocommunicatingyourleadershipstory.Whileitmaybedauntingtothinkthatyourstorylivesintheheartsandmindsofothers,iftherightpeoplehaveaccurateperceptionsofit,theirroleascredibilitysubstitutes,champions,andambassadorsofyourstorycanbequitepowerful.
Ihopethatafterreadingthisbook,youareclosertounderstandingyourleadershipstoryandhowothersperceiveit.Thatisessentialforbeingtheprimaryauthorinthenarrativeyouintend—aligningwhoyouare,whatyoubelievein,andwhatyouaspiretobewithothers’understandingofthosethings.
believein,andwhatyouaspiretobewithothers’understandingofthosethings.Ihopethatyouareabletofindinspirationfromwithinandcanexpressthatenergy,enthusiasm,andauthenticitytoothers—tohelpothersgrow,develop,andreachtheirfullpotential,andtohelptheteamandorganizationdothesame.Ihopethatyouareabletomakeyourleadershipstoryanepic.
Bob’sEpilogue:FiveYearsLater
BobandIkeptintouchovertheyears.Inoticedthathehadbeenwiththatnewcompanynowforfiveyears.Thatgotmecurious,soIcontactedhimtosuggestalunch.
Mychallengewhenwehadfirststartedmeetingreallygothimthinking.Hebecamethemanageroveralltheprojectgroups—allofthem!Heinitiatedwhathecalledalotofcross-pollination,atermI’dneverheardhimusebefore.“I’vebeenpleasedwithhowthatopenedupdiscussionandteamwork,”heannounced.“Peoplearen’tafraidtocomeupwithout-of-the-blueideas,evenifsomecan’tfly.”
Twoyearsago,heproposedamajorinitiativethatmanagementapproved.He’sbeenholdingsemiannualteam-unitymeetingsatanoff-siteconferencecenterfarfromthecity.Thegoalistoallowideastoflowwithinthegroup.
Bobhasbeenexperiencingsomethingelsethat’snewtohim.OftenthetopC-levelexecswilldriftdowntohisofficeattheendoftheday,sitdown,andaskhisopinionaboutcompanydirectionandproblems.Far-reachingquestions,what-ifquestions,thekindthatexecutivesdon’taskofordinarymanagers.
ButBobisnolongerordinary.Atthecrossroads,hetooktheroadhehadnottakenbefore,theunchartedroadleadingtoleadership,andhe’sapparentlyfounditasfunas,ifnotmorefunthan,hislonerangerdaysinthecornercubicle.
SoBobwentfromonestorytoanother,fromshellshockabouthowhewasbeingperceivedtoout-of-the-boxproposalsthatgotthebignod.He’sfullyembracedleadershipashisnewprofession.He’slearnedfromothers.Hefoundawaytomakejobsandcareerstransformationalforhispeople.Peoplewanttobeinhislead…andtheyaren’tbuildingtepees!HRtoldhimthesick-dayrateinhisdivisionisthelowestinthecompany.Peopleseemmoreenergizedthanthoseheknewatpastcompanies.Executivesseekhisopinion.He’sprovidedsomegreatdirection.Bobrecognizesnowthathispersonalmissionistocreateleadersofthefuture.
Therealmessageaboutone’sleadershipstoryisthis:Yourstorycontinuesto
Therealmessageaboutone’sleadershipstoryisthis:Yourstorycontinuestobewrittenandrevisedaslongasyouhaveleadershipresponsibilities.Itrequirescareandfeeding.Youmustthinkaboutwhetheryouaretheprimaryauthororothersarewritingit.Bobhasthatclearnow.
Fulldisclosurehere:Bobisacompositeofmanyofmyclients.Ifyouhaveseenyourselfinhisquestionsandconcerns,youhavetakenanimportantstepinwriting,directing,andactinginallthepartsofyourleadershipstory.
Enjoy—andprosper!
RESOURCES
Theresourcesareprovidedtogiveyouquickaccesstotheactivities,reflectivequestions,andtipsfromthroughoutthebook.Althoughallofthepartsofthebookaremeanttogotogetherintoasingleprocesstounderstandandcommunicateyourstory,youmaywanttospendmoretimeandeffortonaparticularaspect.ThatisperfectlyOK.
Goingthroughtheseresourcesisnotmeanttobeaneasy,skim-the-surfaceexercise.Asyougothroughthevariousresources,theintentisthatyoutakeadeeplookwithintobetterunderstandwhoyouareasaleaderandbecometheprimaryauthorofyourleadershipstory.Someoftheactivitiesandquestionsmaybedifficult.Theymaymakeyouuncomfortable.Youmightevenbetemptedtoglossoverthem.Butrememberthattheeffortyougivetotheseresourceswilldirectlyimpactwhatyougetoutofthem.
ActivitiestoDoYourself
UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
Plot
DefineLeadershipWhatDoYouValue?SolidGroundGetExcitedYou’reonaMission
Characters
KeystoUnlockingConnectionsCommonGroundMonitortheEmotionalBankAccountBuildMentorCircles
BuildMentorCirclesThankYou!
Conflict
TheI’sHaveItWhat’sHappening?LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFutureWhatItTakesTheHeartofInnovation
Theme
GiveYourselfaGradeGreatestHits(andMisses)KeepaDiaryMovingOnTheMirror
Setting
Masterful2x2Detour!NewConstructionGratitudeBeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T.
ActivitiestoGivetoOthers
UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
Plot
DefineLeadershipWhatDoYouValue?
Characters
KeystoUnlockingConnectionsMonitortheEmotionalBankAccount
Conflict
LearnfromthePast,CommittotheFutureWhatItTakes
Theme
GiveYourselfaGradeTheMirror
Setting
NewConstructionBeSelf-a-WhereandS.M.A.R.T.
ReflectiveQuestions
UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
Plot
Whathasbeenmostrewardinginyourcareer?Why?Whatisyourquestorchallengeasaleader?Whereandhowdoyouwanttomakeadifference/haveimpact?
Whatisimportanttoyouasaleader?Why?Whatinspiresandenergizesyouasaleader?Whatwouldyouliketoaccomplishasaleader?
Characters
Withwhomareyourkeyrelationshipsatwork?Whoimpactsyourabilitytodoyourbestwork,andhowdoyouimpactothers’abilitytodotheirbestwork?
Howcanyoubuildmoresupportersandchampionsofyourleadershipstorythandetractors?
Whatroledoyouplayinyourleadershipstory?Others?(Hero,villain,etc.)Why?
Whoareyourtrustedadvisors?Howwouldothersdescribeyouasaleader?Howwellisyourleadershipstoryalignedwithothers’interpretationofyourleadershipstory?
Conflict
Whathavebeenrecurringcausesofconflictforyouasaleader(e.g.,typesoftasks,people,situations)?
Whatisyourroleinconflict?Howdoyoutypicallyreactto,respondto,orhandleconflict?Howresilientareyou?Whatwouldotherssayabouthowyouhandleconflict?
Whatisyourapproach,outlet,ormechanismforprocessingconflictconstructively?
Howdoyouresolveconflict?Whatimpactdoesthishaveonyourrelationships?Yourabilitytogetthejobdone?
Theme
Whatareyouknownforasaleader(skills,behaviors,attitudes)?Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?Whatareyourstrengthsandareasfordevelopmentasaleader?Whattraits,behaviors,andcharacteristicsareyoumostproudofasaleader?Howdoyoucontinuouslydevelopyourselfasaleaderandteachothers?
Setting
Howdoesyoursettingenableorconstrainyourbestleadershipcapabilities?Whatgetsrewardedandpunishedinyourorganization?Howhaveyourtravelsshapedyourperspectiveasaleader?Wherehaveyoubeenthathasinfluencedyourthinking?
Howcanyoumakethemostofyourcurrentsetting?Wherehaveyouhadthegreatestimpactandexperiencedthegreatestsatisfactionasaleader?Why?
THEARTOFCOMMUNICATINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
KnowYourMessage
What,inyourmind,arethemostimportantaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Howwouldyoubestsummarizewhoyouareasaleader?Whataretheinspirationalaspectsofyourleadershipstory?Whataretheaspirationalaspects?
aspirationalaspects?Whataspectsofyourleadershipstorywouldyouliketofurtherrefine?Howcanyoubuildhabitsandroutinesaroundthinkingaboutyourleadershipstoryandkeymessages?
KnowYourAudience
Whoareyourkeyaudiencesthatyouinteractwithmostfrequently?Whoareyourmostimportantaudiences?Whichaudiences’needsdoyouhavethebestunderstandingof?Whichdoyouknowleast?
Whatdopeoplewanttohearaboutyourleadershipstory?Whatdotheyneedtoknow?Why?
Whathappenswhenyourleadershipstoryisnotaccuratelyrepresentedtoorbyothers?
MaximizeMomentsofTruth
Whataresomespecificopportunitiesforyoutoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?
Whatdoyouseeasyourmomentsoftruth?Howcanyoubestbepreparedforunanticipatedopportunitiestoshareyourleadershipstoryoraspectsofit?
Whataresomeadditionalopportunitiesforcontactwithkeyaudiences?Howdoyouutilizemomentsoftruthasatooltolearnandteachothers?
MakeYourActionsSpeakLouderThanWords
Towhatextentcanpeoplereadyouremotions?Whatdoesyourimage—yourstyle,attire,officespace,etc.—sayaboutyouasaleader?
Howdoesyourattitudeimpactothersaroundyou?Howwouldyoudescribeyourexecutivepresence?Howwouldothersdescribeit?
Howmightyouboostyourimage?
EnlistOtherstoTellYourStory
Whatisyourcomfortlevelintalkingaboutyourleadershipstory?Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyour
Whoelsemightyouenlistintellingyourleadershipstory?Whoareyourcredibilitysubstitutes?Why?
Whatwouldyouwantotherstosayaboutyourleadershipstorywhenyou’renotaround?
Howcanyouplantseedswithothersforyourtrueleadershipstorytogrow?Howcanyouensurethatpeoplewithinyourteamandorganizationknowwhoyouareandyourcapabilitiesasaleader?
Tips
UNDERSTANDINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
Plot
Youmustknowwhatyoubelieveinandwhereyouwanttogoasaleaderinorderforotherstobeinspiredtofollow.
Identifywhatinspiresandenergizesyouaboutyourwork.Sharingyourpointofviewwithotherswillincreaseaccountability.
Characters
Youcanlearnalotfrombothgoodandbadleaders.Askyourselfwhatyouwoulddothesameasordifferentlythanleadersyouknowhavedone.
Proactivelybuildpositiverelationshipsandexpressgratitude.Identifyandseekinputandguidancefromtrustedmentors.
Conflict
Conflictisinevitable.Perhapsmorethanresults,howyoureactorrespondtoconflictoradversitywilldefineyouasaleader.
Findamechanismorprocessbywhichyoucandealwithconflictconstructively.Beproactiveinrespondingtoconflict.Itmaynotcomenaturallyorcomfortably,butifyoucanhandleconflictwell,itwillgreatlyhelpyourleadershipstoryandbuildpositiverelationships.
Theme
Forquickfeedback,giveyourselfandothersagrade;askotherstodothesame.Itcanhelpinitiatecandidconversations,reinforceexpectations,andhighlightperceptions.
perceptions.Effectiveleadershiprequiresyoutoletgoof(ordelegate)sometechnicalskillsandembraceyourroleasaleader.
Reconcilehowyouthinkyouaredoingasaleaderwithhowothersperceiveyouaredoing.
Setting
Takeownershipandresponsibilityforwhatyoucandotomakeyoursettingoptimalforyou.
Knowandarticulatewhataboutasettingenablesyoutobeatyourbestandconstrainsyoufromthesame.
Activelyseekfeedbackfromyourteammembersaboutwhatittakesforthemtobeattheirbest,andhaveaspecificplantohelpsupportthem.
THEARTOFCOMMUNICATINGYOURLEADERSHIPSTORY
KnowYourMessage
Don’tfabricateormisrepresentyourleadershipstory.Knowthedifferencebetweenwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe.Rehearseyourstoryandelementsofit.Readbiographiesandautobiographiesofleaders.Notewhatmadethemgreatandhowtheirstorywastold.
KnowYourAudience
Testthewaterswithselectindividualsbytellingthemaspectsofyourleadershipstory.Gaugetheirreactiontowhatyousaidandhowyousaiditbyaskingforfeedback.Afterward,don’tnecessarilychangeyourmessage,butconsiderreframingitforthataudience.
Findspecificexamplesandstoriesofwhatconstitutessuccessfulleadershipatyourcompany.
Understandand/ordefinethevisionofyourcompanyorteam,andknowhowyourpersonalmissionsupportsthegreatervision.
MaximizeMomentsofTruth
Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,
Writeoutyourheadlinepriortoparticipatinginkeyevents(meetings,presentations,etc.).
Createyourownmomentsoftruthbygettingactivelyinvolvedinprojects.Volunteerwhenyouknowyoucanexceedexpectationsthataddvaluetothebusinessorsolveachallengingorcomplexproblem.(Note:donotovercommitoroverpromise.)Haveapreparedsetofobservationsaboutwaysyoucanimprovethebusiness.(Note:thisisnotabouttrackingalistofcomplaints,butabouthavinggenuineandrealisticideasforwhereyou[and/orothers]couldimprovethebusiness.)Lookfortherighttimeandaudiencetosharethoseideas.
MakeYourActionsSpeakLouderThanWords
Alwayslookonelevelormoreupintheorganizationtoseehowleadersdress,carrythemselves,andkeeptheirworkspace.Modelthatandsettheexample.
Makealistofwhereyouandotherswouldrateyouhighlywithregardtoexecutivepresenceandwhereyouneedtoimprove.Howdoothersviewyourpresence?Writeaspecificplanforhowyouwillimproveyourexecutivepresenceandcreategreateralignment.
Walkaroundandinteractwithindividualsonyourteamregularly.Besuretogotothemandgettoknowthemonapersonallevel,andseethattheyhavetheresourcesandsupporttogettheirjobdone.
Ifyouractionsandwordseverdonotalign,recognizeitandrecalibrateyourstoryoractionsaccordingly.
EnlistOtherstoTellYourStory
Spendtimegettingtoknowpeoplethroughouttheorganization.Learnaboutwhotheyareandwhattheydo.
Askotherstodescribewhatyouarelikewhenyouareatyourbest.Identifyatleastthreecredibilitysubstitutesforyou.
NOTES
1.DiannaBooher,CreatingPersonalPresence:Look,Talk,Think,andActLikeaLeader(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2011).
2.TheArbingerInstitute,LeadershipandSelf-Deception:GettingOutoftheBox(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2010).
3.SteveArneson,BootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeCharge,andMoveUp(SanFrancisco:Berrett-KoehlerPublishers,2010).
4.JimLoehr,ThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessandinLife(NewYork:FreePress,2008).
5.DanielGoleman,EmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ(NewYork:BantamBooks,2005).
6.J.W.“Bill”MarriottJr.andKathiAnnBrown,WithoutReservations:HowaFamilyRootBeerStandGrewintoaGlobalHotelCompany(NewYork:DiversionBooks/LCP,2014).
7.JohnZengerandJosephFolkman,TheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders(NewYork:McGraw-Hill,2009).
8.AlanGregerman,TheNecessityofStrangers:TheIntriguingTruthAboutInsight,Innovation,andSuccess(SanFrancisco:Jossey-Bass,2013).
9.StephenCovey,The7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople:PowerfulLessonsinPersonalChange(NewYork:FreePress,1990).
10.CarriePerles,“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities,”eHow(March2014),http://www.ehow.com/list_6738552_conflict-management-training-activities.html.
11.GeorgeOrwell,1984(NewYork:SignetClassics,1969).12.NelsonMandela,LongWalktoFreedom:TheAutobiographyofNelson
Mandela(Boston:BackBayBooks,1995).13.AmyJenSuandMurielMaignanWilkins,OwntheRoom:DiscoverYour
SignatureVoicetoMasterYourLeadershipPresence(Boston:HarvardBusinessReviewPress,2013).
14.JayA.Conger,“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion,”HarvardBusinessReview(May1998).
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ThereisnowayIcouldhavecompletedthisbookwithoutastrongsupportnetwork.Thatbeginswithmywife,Sara,andourchildren,FinleyandChase.Youaresimplyamazing.WordscannotdescribehowmuchIappreciateyoursupport,patience,love,andencouragement.Youarewhatisimportantinlife.IloveyouandknowthatIcouldnothavedonethiswithoutyou.
Ialsowanttothankmymom,whohasanamazinggiftofpatience,unconditionallove,andsupport.Youhavealwaysbeenmygreatestfan,andthatmeansalot.ThankyoualsotoEddieandEllieSharpe,whoshowgreatinterestandenthusiasminmypursuits.Thankyouforfreelysharingyourwisdom.
WalterMcFarlandisapersonIadmireandrespect.Iamveryfortunatetocallyouafriendandmentor.YoualwaysseepotentialbeforeIseeitmyself.Thankyouforshowingmetheway.Thankyouforlisteningandaskingquestions.Iamabetterpersonforknowingyou.
ToJayConger,Ioweabigthank-you.Youhavecontributedtomybookandhelpedshapemythinkingfarmorethanyouwilleverknow.Thankyouforallyoursupportandencouragement.
Ioweabigthank-youtotheGWELPcommunityforgivingmesomanyopportunitiesandprovidingastrongfoundationofknowledgeformetobuildon.
I’vehadthegoodfortuneofworkingforsomegreatcompanieswithgreatleaders,colleagues,andteammembers.Therearetoomanypeopletoname,andIfearImightmisssomeone.Butknowthatifyouhavebeenacolleague,Ihavelearnedfromyou.IhavetomentionthatthefirstpersonIworkedwithonabigleadershipprojectwasLoriZukin.Lori,thankyouforbeingagreatcollaboratorandteammate.Yourdepthofknowledgeandwillingnesstosharethatknowledgestartedmeoffontherightfoot,andIhaveneverforgottenthat.Ihavetriedtopayitforwardwhereverpossible.
Andtomygreatbosses,thankyouforprovidingmewithopportunities,givingmefeedback,andtrustingmewithgreaterresponsibilities.Iappreciateyourhavingmyback,encouragingmetopursuemyinterests,andallowingme
yourhavingmyback,encouragingmetopursuemyinterests,andallowingmetolearnandgrow.Youneverknowwhatyouarecapableofuntilyoutakethatfirststep.Thankyouforallowingmetotakemanysteps.
Thankyou,SteveArneson,foryourinsightsandadvice.Yourenthusiasmforleadershipisinspiring.Andyourguidanceisappreciated.Youareagreatrolemodel.Althoughyouhavedonealotmoreformethanmakeanintroduction,IneedtospecificallythankyouformakingtheintroductiontoNealMailletatBerrett-Koehler.
NealandtherestoftheBerrett-Koehlerteamarephenomenalacrosstheboard.Theyhaveeachplayedaroleinmakingthisareallyfunprocess.Nealhasprovidedgreatfeedbackandperspective;thankyou,JeevanSivasubramaniam,formakingitquiteaseamlessprocess,alwaystakinggreatinterestinmyideas,questions,andconcerns;thankyou,DiannePlatnerandyourteam,foryourcreativityandsupportonthebookdesign;thankyou,LindaJupiterandyourteam,formakingthisabeautiful,reader-friendlybook,andespeciallyElissaRabellino,foryourbrilliantcopyeditingandsuggestions;andtomyreviewers,KerryRadcliffe,JanNickerson,andLeighWilkinson,feedbackisagift,soIthankyoufortakingthetimetooffersuchgreatfeedback.Ihopeyouseethedifferenceyoumade.
RogerPeterson.Youaregreattoworkwith.Youhavegotagreatgiftwhenitcomestowriting,andIappreciatethetimeyoutookandinsightsyousharedtohelpbringmybooktolife.
AsIreflectonhowfortunateIamtohavesuchagreatgroupofpeopleinmylife,somehow“Thankyou”doesn’tseemtofullycapturethegratitudeIhave.ButI’llsayitanyway.Thankyouallforbelievinginme,encouragingme,andteachingme.
INDEX
Aaccessibility,89,119accountability,31,36,66actions,5,17,118–122,138
reflectivequestions,119Seealsononverbalcommunication
activities,3,5,102–103,130characters,44–50conflict,57–63corevalues,30–32todoyourself,134togivetoothers,135plot,29–34setting,82–89theme,70–76Seealsoquicktips
Alcoa,18alignment,7–8,9,12,14,118,122,129,141
audienceand,107–108charactersand,44,45plotand,23,24,30,31,32
antagonists,24,38,42–44,47,51,101,111enlistingothersand,125–126keystounlockingconnections,45–46
appearance,120–121appreciativeinquiryleadership,13ArbingerInstitute,8Arneson,Steve,29,74arrogance,9,10audience,100,101,107–112,131,137–138
casestudy,111–112reflectivequestions,109–111
authenticity,9,10,23,118awesomeness,7–8
Bbackcasting,94–95behaviors,32–33benevolentdictatorship,13Bloomberg,Michael,89,90Booher,Dianna,4BootstrapLeadership:50WaystoBreakOut,TakeChargeandMoveUp
(Arneson),29,74boundaries,acceptanceof,65–66
Ccapability,10casestudy(Bob),131–132
actions,121audience,111–112characters,50–52conflict,63–64enlistingothers,127message,105–106momentsoftruth,116–117
narrativearc,95–97plot,36–37setting,89–90theme,76–77
characters,24,38–52,125–126activities,44–50antagonists,42–44casestudy,50–52protagonists,41–42quicktips,52,139reflectivequestions,44,136
choiceofleadershipstyle,12cluelessness,9,10collaboration,107,111collegiality,51,127comfortzone,17,100,102,120command-and-controlleadership,13commitmenttofuture,59–61commonground,44,46communicationofleadershipstory,5,99–101,102,111,131,137–138,140–141
Seealsoenlistingotherscompetence,65competencymodels,61,66compromise,32conflict,24,53–64,111
activities,57–63casestudy,63–64mind-setand,54–55quicktips,64,139reflectivequestions,56,136self-awarenessand,55–56
typesof,53–54“ConflictManagementTrainingActivities”(Perles),57Confucius,91Conger,Jay,124conversationsthatmatterleadership,13corevalues,3,26
activity,29,30–32Covey,Stephen,47CreatingPersonalPresence(Booher),4creativeproblemsolving,96–97credibility,11,16,66,118–119credibilitysubstitutes,41–42,124,125–126,131
Seealsoprotagonistscross-pollination,131–132currentevents/newsstories(what’shappening),57,58–59
Ddataandexamples,104delegation,7,67,82,83,84depositsandwithdrawals,47–48derailers,43,116detours,82,84–85developingothers,94,97
setting,83,84diary,70,72–73differences,strengthof,62,63drivingcatalyst,18–19
Eecologyofleadership,7Eisenhower,DwightD.,7
emergingleaders,1–2emotionalbankaccount,44,47–48emotionalintelligence,38–39,43,67EmotionalIntelligence:WhyItCanMatterMoreThanIQ(Goleman),38–39empathy,58,109–110enlistingothers,123–127,138
casestudy,127quicktips,127Seealsocommunicationofleadershipstory
excitement,29,33,36,132executivepresence,10,110,118,119,120–121,122experience,55,104TheExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders(Zenger
andFolkman),43
Ffarewellspeech,73fatalflaws,43fearoffailure,97feedback,67–69flexibility,49,67Folkman,Joseph,43framing,103–104funpartsofleadership,12,27,97,132
Ggame-changingleadership,36Goleman,Daniel,38–39grading,70–71granddesign,112gratitude,50,82,86–87
Gregerman,Alan,46
Hhabits,69,105,130headline,117hearsay,40hiddenleaders,9,11hitsandmisses,70,71–72humility,9,9–10
IIstatements,57–58image,119impostorphenomenon,55,56–57improvisation,15,129inconsistency,9,11–12innerconflict,53,55,64innervoice,92
Seealsomind-setinnovation,57,62–63inspiration,26,80–81internalnetwork,11interpersonalconflict,53,54involvement,11
JJobs,Steve,36–37,94
Kkeystounlockingconnections,44,45–46
L
leadershipdefined,5,7–21defining,activity,28,29–30asdynamic,movingtarget,15asgift,129great,14–15journeyto,xiv–xv,16,23,129perceptionofothers,3,5,7,9,39–40asprofession,20types,4,12–13,13ultimategoals,12uncertaintyabout,40–41
LeadershipandSelf-Deception(ArbingerInstitute),8leadershiplanguage,30leadershipskills,66leadershipstory
authorshipof,1,6,8,39–40,49,109,130–132balanced,14currentandidealversions,5defined,2interpretations/variations,8,9,24proactiverolein,3quadrants,9,9–12reasonforfocuson,16–17steps,4–5understandingandaligning,23–25
learnfrompast,committofuture,57,59–61learning,17legacy,73–74listening,66,127Loehr,Jim,29
loneranger,20–21,63,105,121,127LongWalktoFreedom(Mandela),65–66Look,Talk,Think,andAct,4
Mmanagingup,110Mandela,Nelson,18,65–66Marriott,J.W.,Jr.(“Bill”),41masterful2x2,82–84mentorcircles,44,48–49,55message,102–106,131,137
framing,103–104keypoints,103quicktips,106
mind-set(innervoice),54–55,58,60messageand,105narrativearcand,91–92,94,95
mirror,70,74–75mission/purpose,25,29,34–35misunderstandingofleadershipstory,8momentsoftruth,138
casestudy,116–117quicktips,117reflectivequestions,114
movingon,70,73
Nnarrativearc,5,91–98
casestudy,95–97eventsandactivities,93–94influentialpeople,92–93
mappinganddiscoveringleadershiptruths,91–95past,91–92Seealsostories
“TheNecessaryArtofPersuasion”(Conger),124TheNecessityofStrangers(Gregerman),46newconstruction,85–86nonverbalcommunication,5,101
reflectivequestions,119Seealsoactions
Oobservationstoimprovebusiness,117O’Neill,Paul,18organizationalculture,79,105outervoice,92,95overcommitting,116,117OwntheRoom:DiscoverYourSignatureVoicetoMasterYourLeadership
Presence(SuandWilkins),104
Ppeer-to-peerleadership,13perceptionofothers,3,5,7,9,39–40,101
hearsayand,40leavelittletochance,109outervoice,92,95themeand,67–68
Perles,Carrie,57personalpresence,4plot,24,26–37,110,118
activities,29–34casestudy,36–37
quicktips,36,139reflectivequestions,28,136
pointofview,37positiveleadership,13ThePowerofStory:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourDestinyinBusinessand
inLife(Loehr),29pride,senseof,79projectmanagement,36–37promotions,34protagonists,24,38,41–42,47,51,79,101,111
enlistingothers,125–126keystounlockingconnections,45–46Seealsocredibilitysubstitutes
purpose-drivenleadership,13
QQuadrant1,9,9–10Quadrant2,9,10–11Quadrant3,9,11Quadrant4,9,11–12questions,asking,66quicktips,139–140
actions,122audience,112characters,52,139conflict,64,139enlistingothers,127message,106momentsoftruth,117plot,36,139setting,90,140
theme,77,139Seealsoactivities
Rrationalization,8reflectivequestions,5,6,79,136–137
actionsandnonverbalcommunication,119audience,109–111characters,44,136conflict,56,136enlistingothers,124–125message,104–105momentsoftruth,114nonverbalcommunication,119plot,28,136setting,81,137theme,69,137
relationships,24,41Seealsocharacters
relevance,105,107,109–110resources,133–141
activitiestodoyourself,134activitiestogivetoothers,135
SSchultz,Howard,18self-awareness,11–12,17
antagonistsand,43audienceand,111conflictand,55–56,60,61settingand,82,87–89
themeand,65self-perception,8,9self-reflection,3,5,17servantleadership,13setting,25,78–90
activities,82–89balance,81casestudy,89–90changesin,78–79detours,84–85effectof,79gratitude,86–87makingthemostof,79–80masterful2x2,82–84quicktips,90,140reflectivequestions,137S.M.A.R.T.,82,87–89
The7HabitsofHighlyEffectivePeople(Covey),47skillsaudit(whatittakes),57,61–62S.M.A.R.T.,82,87–89solidgrounds,29,32–33specificity,33stewardshipleadership,13stories,2
elementsof,23,24–25,100,129Seealsonarrativearc
storytelling,good,100–101,102Su,Amy,104
Ttask-focusedconflict,54
teammeetings,108teams,leadershipof,20technicalexpertise,1,12,14–15,20,66,83thankyouactivity,44,50theme,25,65–77,110
activities,70–76casestudy,76–77quicktips,77,139reflectivequestions,69,137self-awarenessand,65
360assessments,40,68–69timing,101,114trainingeffect,61trust,16,18,41
emotionalbankaccount,44,47–48truth,momentsof,113–117
Vvirtualteams,62–63volunteering,117,124
WWilkins,Muriel,104WithoutReservations(Marriott),41
ZZenger,John,43
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
TimTobinisalearningandleadershipprofessionalcommittedtoprovidingopportunitiesthathelppeoplereachtheirgreatestpotential.Inhis25yearsofprofessionalexperience,hehasbeendirectlyresponsibleforthedevelopmentofthousandsofpeople,fromC-leveltofirst-timeleaders,acrossmultipleindustries.
Hebelievesthatdevelopmentmustbeginwithself-awareness.Hebelievesthatwelearnbestthroughpractice,anddevelopmentshouldbeanongoingendeavor—onethatispursuedwithpurpose.AnotherkeytothedevelopmentprocessinTim’sviewistheinterplaybetweenactionandreflection.Inouraction-orientedsociety,toooften,wedonotleavetimetoreflect.Toooften,leadershipisanafterthought.Notenoughtimeisdedicatedtothinkingaboutleadership.Thisbookwaswrittentohelpfacilitateyourthoughtprocessaboutwhoyouareasaleaderandwhoyouwanttobe,andtoprovideguidingactionstohelpgetyoutowhereyouwanttobe.
Timiscurrentlyvicepresident,globallearningandleadershipdevelopment,atMarriottInternational,whereheisresponsibleforlearningandleadershipdevelopmentstrategy,programs,andcurriculumacrosstheenterprise.Hehas
designedanddeliverednumerousleadershipprogramsforaglobalaudience.Here,Timlearnedaboutteamleadershipandtheimportanceofsettingastrongvision,understandingthepersonalinterestsanddevelopmentneedsofeachindividual,andnotsimplyleadingthewayyouwouldwanttobeled.WhileatMarriott,hewonthe2014ChiefLearningOfficerawardforGlobalLearning,the2013Bersin&AssociatesawardforEnablingHighImpactLearning,the2012ChiefLearningOfficerawardforInnovativeLearning,andthe2012Bersin&AssociatesawardforLeadershipDevelopmentStrategyExcellence.
PriortoMarriott,TimwasdirectoratBakerTilly(formerlyBeers+Cutler),wherehedesignedandimplementedtheircorporateuniversityandleadershipstrategyandprograms.Hewasalsoresponsiblefortheirbroadertalentmanagementfunctions.Inthisrole,Timrealizedtheimportanceofbuildingstrong,collaborativepartnershipsacrosstheorganization.HeintroducedtheApprenticeshipModelofLearning,implementedthecompany’sfirstLearningManagementSystem,andbuilttheirleadershipstrategyandprograms.Theresultingprogramsreceivedmultipleawards,includingthe2010Bersin&AssociatesLearningLeaderawardforLearningandTalentInitiativeExcellence,the2009HeliosHRApolloawardforoutstandingemployeedevelopmentprograms,andthe2008Bersin&AssociatesawardforOperationalExcellence.HewasalsorecognizedwiththeLearningLeaderawardforoutstandingserviceinsupportofBeers+Cutler.
BeforeBakerTilly,TimworkedforBoozAllenHamilton.Inhisrolethere,Timhadabroaderhumancapitalfocus.ItwastherethatTimdevelopedanappreciationfortakingaconsultativeapproachtoworkandtheimportanceofunderstandingtheneedsofthebusiness.Hemanagedandparticipatedinprojectteamsfocusedonavarietyofmanagement,leadership,training,andhumanresourceinitiativesprimarilyforgovernmentclients.HewasalsoakeycontributorforaBoozAllenHamiltonPartnerDevelopmentProgram.WhileatBoozAllenHamilton,Timwonthe2005FutureHumanCapitalLeaderawardfromHumanCapitalmagazine.
TimreceivedanEdDinhumanresourcesdevelopmentfromGeorgeWashingtonUniversity,anMAinorganizationalmanagementfromtheUniversityofPhoenix,andaBAinpsychologyfromtheUniversityofDelaware.Hehasbeenanadjunctprofessorforover15yearsatCatholicUniversity,TrinityUniversity,andGeorgeWashingtonUniversity,wherehehastaughtgraduateandundergraduatecoursesinlearning,strategy,andhuman-capitaltopics.HeiscurrentlyamemberoftheUniversityofMarylandSmithSchoolofBusinessExecutiveProgramsAdvisoryBoard.
Timisoftenaspeakeratregional,national,andinternationalconferences,andhehaspublishedindiversepublicationssuchasSalesandServiceExcellenceEssentials,theInternationalJournalofStrategicBusinessAlliances,ASTD—TheTorch,SmartCEOmagazine,andSocialPsychologyandEducation.
Onapersonalnote,Timisaneight-timemarathonfinisher,athree-timeIronmantriathlonfinisher,andafinisheroftheGreatChesapeakeBaySwim.HeisaWashington,DCnative.Helivestherenowwithhiswife,Sara,andtheirson,Finley,anddaughter,Chase.YoucancontactTimatttobin7@gmail.comandstayconnectedonTwitterat@tobinleadership.
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