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“But you can’t quit soccer! I’d just be a regular mom!”

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“On the other hand...

you have different fingers.”

– Steven Wright

“I should fire you for being oblivious and uninformed... but it’s nice having someone around here who’s in a good mood!”

“You better cut the pizza

in four pieces because

I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

– Yogi Berra

“I know I want to have children

while my parents are still

young enough to take care of them.”

– Rita Rudner