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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Marilyn Monroe Rose Cross Back Swimdre ss, $88, in sizes 18 to 24.
out that Yours Clothing cartoon-print dress before I got one.)
I dont have many f ashion rules I hold to . Actually I probably have none except f or this one: never buy a white
swimsuit if you plan on gett ing it wet. My mom had a super hip white swimsuit back in the day that was way
awesome until she hit t he ocean and then it became a litt le, uh, transparent. Now if you are looking f or a
transparent swimsuit, rage on, badass you! But I am not. Generally speaking.
Nows the part where I throw that rule right out the window because LOOK AT THIS SUIT:
ARE YOU DYING LIKE I AM? Itscalled the Marilyn Monroe Rose
Cross Back Swimdress and the only
way I would love it more is if the
leafy bits were actually green, but
whatever. On the up s ide, it has one
negative review that says, There is
a sheer like material underneath that
does no thing but let t he f at jiggle,
and I am all up in here going YEAH
THE FAT JIGGLIN.
And, yes, I know most people on
earth hate swimdresses BUT I LIKE
THEM, especially when theyre
adorable and retro-y like this one.
WHICH I have already ordered as my
swimwear f or t his year, so as to not
repeat t he cartoon-print heartbreak
of my last f atshion post. Heres
hoping the rose suit is lined enough
that transparency is not a problem.
SPEAKING OF SWIMDRESSES:
I know. I can sense your horror. But
WAIT: ask yourself , is this s uit
ACTUALLY horrif ying, o r are the
narrow limitations imposed upon
your mind by an awesomeness-
oppressive culture only making you
THINK it is horrif ying? Because I
think it is GREAT and also t hat I ama STYLE GENUIS for thinking so.
You have to admire it. This is a suit
that leaves no sto ne unturned -- a
one-shouldered leopard-print
flowered bandeau sheath shirred
http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/Leopard-Tropical-One-Shoulder-Swimdress?p=4194http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/Marilyn-Rose-Cross-Back-Swimdress?p=4287http://www.xojane.com/clothes/spring-fatshion-guide-how-to-look-skinny-when-you-are-enormously-fat-secrets-revealed -
7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
3/14
Leop ard Trop ical One-Shoulde r Swimdre ss, $68, in sizes 10 to 24
sw m ress. a y
has no reviews, probably because
everyone whos bought it has t ried it
on and been immediately assumed
into the special FABULOUS HEAVEN.
SPEAKING OF ONE-SHOULDERED
SUITS:
Big ups to f atshion bloggerAmanda of Fashion Love and
Martinis f or buying this ombre one-
shoulder tank hotness and putt ing it
on Instagram so I knew it existed. I
am not usually an ombre f an but f or
some reason I really love this suit --
I just wish it wasnt a one-shoulder
deal because I always f eel weirdly
of f -balance in them. Like I'm carrying
an invisible messenger bag that isf illed with my whole body.
Right now youre probably thinking
DUDE WHERE ARE THE BIKINIS?
OKAY IM DOING IT.
Monif C kills at swimwear every
f reaking year and this year is no
exception. Her s tylized-peacock-
print bikini separates come in
orange and turquoise and arecurrently on sale, so if youre f ence
sitting, you might want to move f ast
before they sell out. The halter tops
and high-waistedbottoms are sold
separately so you can get a
gorgeous f it.
And bonus? THAT TOP HAS AN
http://monifc.com/plus-size-swimwear/sao-paulo-high-waisted-plus-size-bikini-brief-orange-multi.htmlhttp://monifc.com/sao-paulo-high-waisted-plus-size-bikini-brief-turquoise-multi.htmlhttp://monifc.com/plus-size-swimwear/sao-paulo-high-waisted-plus-size-bikini-top-underwire-turquoise-multi.htmlhttp://monifc.com/plus-size-swimwear/sao-paulo-high-waisted-plus-size-bikini-top-underwire-orange-multi.htmlhttp://www.swimsuitsforall.com/Longitude-Orange-Ombre-Plus-Size-One-Shoulder-Tank-Swimsuit?p=3884http://www.fashionloveandmartinis.com/ -
7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Monif C Sao Paulo Swim Separate s, in size s 16W to 24W
like a bra, so o stensibly if you know
youre down with a certain Lane
Bryant bra size then getting one of
these to f it should be an easy
effort.
I know not all of you are on the
f atkini train, and Im here to assure
you that s T OTALLY OK. Maybe youneed an interval suit to get there, or
maybe youre just more a tankini
person. I spent a couple summers
trying to be a tankini person myself
-- mos tly because they seem like
theyd be easier to go f or a pee in --
but I never could quite get there.
Maybe its my long and f leshy torso
but I was yanking that shit down ALL
DAY LONG like f reaking Captain
Picard.
Nevertheless, I have shopped for
tankinis f or you EVEN THOUGH I
WILL NEVER WEAR ONE. Like this
vintage-y, only-slightly-grandma-ish
floral tankini top from Lands End:
Okay, so it's sorta reminiscent o f a
bedspread, but I like the
uxtapos ition. On the other hand, it
has an underwire in it! And given that
Lands End legitimately makes t he
best swimwear in the universe this
is a prett y sure bet. Many of my
http://www.landsend.com/pp/womens-lela-beach-floral-underwire-tankini-top~238651_57.html?sku_0=::UT9http://www.lanebryant.com/shimmer-dot-balconette-bikini-top/p180141/index.pro -
7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Gab iFresh for s 4a Yog a Bikini, $68, in sizes 10-24
f avorite suits over the years in
terms o f f it have come f rom Lands
End -- I just wish their suits were,
yknow, cuter? A litt le more diverse in
st yle? And generally more
obnoxious?
Torrid has a couple of more trendy
tankini options as well, like this
obligatory but nevertheless
adorable cherry-print keyhole top:
Or this pink mesh top, which needs
to GET OUT with that ruf f le:
And a variety of bot toms to pair
them with. Heh, bot toms.
For t he old-f ashioned tank-lovers
among us, finding a non-fumpy
one-piece suit is almost as hard as
finding a swimdress that doesnt
suck (hey does anyone remember
SPARKLEBOOBS?). But a little-
known FASHION SECRET is that
you can put polka dots on pretty
much anything and I will instantly
want t o wear it. WITNESS:
Exhibit A:ASOS red and white po lka
dot wide-st rap belted tank. In any
other print t his s tyle would look
to tally unappealing to me, but thepolka dots make it.
Exhibit B: This navy polka-dot ted
ruched tank. I know navy is like
barely a step up f rom black so f ar
as swimsuit colors are concerned,
and I vowed years ago never to buy
another black swimsuit. But I still
'
http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/Marilyn-Navy-Polka-Dot-Ruched-One-Piece-Swimsuit?p=4285http://us.asos.com/ASOS-Curve/ASOS-CURVE-Exclusive-Swimsuit-with-Spot-Contrast/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2924345&cid=9577&Rf900=1598&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Redwhitehttp://www.xojane.com/clothes/plus-size-swimsuits-with-skirtshttp://www.torrid.com/torrid/Collections/HeatWave.jsphttp://www.torrid.com/torrid/Collections/HeatWave//Black+Cherry+Tankini+Swim+Top-514112.jsp -
7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Joe Browns Striped Bikini Set, $58, in sizes 8 to 28
Exhibit C: THIS WILL NEVER FIT ME
because it's junior plus sized, but it
is seriously so freaking adorable.
Somebody else should buy it. It's
pretty cheap too .
At t his po int I am pret ty sure t hat
Ive included just about every cuteplus size swimsuit on THE WHOLE
INTERNET. Im actually sick o f
looking at them, which I wouldnt
have thought possible. What do you
think? Do you like any of them?
Have I lost my mind? Also why am I
so inexplicably drawn to one-
shouldered suits right now? Tell me
all your swimwear-related hopes
and dreams in comments.
Special note to those who wear
extended sizes, A.K.A. greatbigfats!
Several of the above suits go up to a
26 or 28, but if you need bigger,
allow me to point you atLove Your
Peaches, which makes gorgeous
swimwear up to a 6x, and also back
to Swimwear For Allagain, which has
suits up to a 34 and can be sorted
by size.
http://www.swimsuitsforall.com/One-Piece-Swimwear-Department?go=Y&c=2&total=&all=0&page=1&sort=&dismissLargeSizeModal=N&shopBySizeSelection%5B%5D=14http://www.loveyourpeaches.com/shop/category.aspx?catid=26http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=80561&vid=8&pid=373601022#close -
7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Land' s End Floral Underwire Tankini Top, $ 35 (on sale from $69), in size s 16W to 26W
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Black Cherry Tankini Swim Top, $ 34 (on sale from $ 49), in size s 0X to 4X
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Pink Mes h Dot Tankini Swim Top, $ 34 (on sale fro m $49), in size s 0X to 4X
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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ASO S Curve Exc lusi ve Sp ot Swims ui t, $ 42, in si ze s 14 to 22
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Marilyn Monroe Navy Polka Dot Ruche d Swimsuit, $88, in size s 18 to 24
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7/27/2019 Xojane.com-FATSHION a TRULY RIDICULOUS Number of Cute PlusSize Swimsuits to Jam Your Excellent Fat Ass Into This
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Forever 21 Polka Dot One-Piece , $28, in junior s izes XL to 3X