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Why Can’t My Parents Let Go?
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Question: • I am 28 years old and a university
student. • I am still living with my parents • They still expect me to be home at a
certain time
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• My dad only supports my studies at a university of his choice
• My dad wanted me to car pool with his friends
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• I have a good job and am hardly ever at home
• My parents complain about not seeing enough of me
• When I want to move out there is an argument and I stay
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• I now want to move in with my boyfriend but don’t want to leave on bad terms.
• How do I deal with it?
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Answer: • Some parents find it difficult to
let a child go. • You cannot choose the way your
parents feel about you moving out – that is their choice
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• You can choose how you view their reactions to your choices
• Your parents choose to be angry rather than supportive
• Then you choose to feel guilty and stay with them
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• Why do your parents insist on you staying with them?
• What are they afraid of? • If they are afraid they won’t see
you again, tell them how often you will call or visit – and stick with your promise
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• If they have health issues or need physical support, find an alternative before you move out.
• If they no longer get on with each other, that is their issue to resolve
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• Find out what their biggest fear is and help them resolve it
• The fear is theirs, not yours • Don’t feel guilty about wanting
to get on with your life
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• Be firm and loving without taking on their issues
• If they choose to be angry, love them and remain calm
• They will choose to love you back
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