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Garza Out | City Hall Ordered to Pay Up | Hair and Hearts | Best of the Wurst
QueenofConfusion!
MonarchofMisinformation!
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 13
03.27.14DUNCE
HWY 46,2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS
Gary P Nunnwith special guest, doug moreland
Friday, April 4 at 7pmCall 830.379.8883 for tickets!
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TXCITIZEN
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table of contents1st WordCity Council votes to appealCan-Ban loss, and our PsychicCity Attorney earns her pinkslip. Well see if Council has thestones to hold her accountable,
or if they prefer to take the heatfor her dishonesty/incompetencefor the rest of her run.3
15
7Citizen
SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind
for the NB/SM Metroplex!
Advice fromUncle Esel
Got a problem? You will. 11
Best of the Wurst,2014 Your ballot awaits.
Around &AboutHair and Hearts raises cashand hair!
13
Due ProcessCity ordered to pay up in
Can-Ban case. 4
Carpe Canis/Carpe Cattus
Its either your house or the big
house for these furry orphans.Hot in the Kitchen
The TX Citizens Diva of theDish gets her cake on.
12The County
sMost Wanted
Look Mommy! Daddys in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo offends in two languages.
10
Ribbon CuttingIron Horse re-grand opens withgiant scissors and Silly String.6
SportsShort men put on a big show.14
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NOTICE TO CREDITORS.Notice is hereby given that original Letters Testamentary for the Estate of
Marthella Steves Spoonemore f/k/a Marthella Steves Simpson, Deceased, were issued on March 19,2014, in Cause No. 2014PCB0084, pending in the County Court at Law of Comal County, Texas, to:Dan Taylor Simpson. All persons having claims against this Estate which is currently being administered are required topresent them to the undersigned within the time and in the manner prescribed by law. DATEDthe 19th day of March, 2014.
Frank B. Suhr, Attorney at Law, 473 S. Seguin Ave, Ste 100, New Braunfels, Texas 78130State Bar No.: 19466300, Tel: (830) 625-4345 I Fax: (830) 606-4511, Attorney for Dan Taylor Simpson
NOTICE TO CREDITORS. Notice is hereby given that original Letters Testamentary for the Estate ofHarlan Howard Moss, Deceased, were issued on March 19, 2014, in Cause No. 2014PCA0083, pendingin the County Court at Law of Comal County, Texas, to: Donna Gail Lipsey. All persons having claims against this Estate which is currently being administered are required to
present them to the undersigned within the time and in the manner prescribed by law.DATEDthe 19th day of March, 2014.Frank B. Suhr, Attorney at Law, 473 S. Seguin Ave, Ste 100, New Braunfels, Texas 78130
State Bar No.: 19466300, Tel: (830) 625-4345 I Fax: (830) 606-4511, Attorney for Donna Gail Lipsey
L E G A L N O T I C ES
WORD
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
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TXCITIZEN.COM 3
A New Levelof StupidOn Monday night, CityCouncil voted 5-2 to appeal
the ruling in the disposable
container ban case. Heres the
roll call:
George Green, District One: NO
Aja Edwards, District Two: YES
Ron Reaves, District Three: YES
Mayor Gale Pospisil: YES
Sandy Nolte, District Four: YES
Bryan Miranda, District Five: YES
Stephen Digges, District Six: NO
We expected most of this. What we didnt
expect was Aja Edwards, a vehement can-ban
opponent, (and TX Citizen landlord), to vote
in favor of an appeal. What we really didnt
expect was the downright brain-damaged
reason she did it. That brain damage apparentlycaught by sitting next to the normally not
brain-damaged Ron Reaves. Why did Reaves
and Edwards vote to appeal? Because they
didnt understand the ruling, because the City
Attorney refused to explain it to them. Heres
Reaves quote from the meeting:
A lot of money has been spent in this
litigation. And as a patron came up to
the microphone this evening and said that
the Judge did a thorough job in giving hisopinion Im just struck by that comment,
because, there were no findings. He only
rendered that it was unconstitutional.
Im sitting here as a Council Person and
as a citizen, not understanding what actually
causes this finding for unconstitutionality. And
in what Im understanding, in legal fees, to
continue to the 3rd Court of Appeals, its not
that much to provide me and future councils,
what are we doing right, or what are wedoing wrong. And I need to know that so that
future ordinances that come out, whether it be
the river or not Am I going down the right
path? Or am I going down the wrong path?
And I feel like its unfortunate that this Judge
didnt help educate us as to why.
I feel like its against his obligation,
as a State District Judge, to not educate
the citizenry as to why he ruled other than
its unconstitutional. That doesnt help meunderstand, and doesnt keep me from
possibly making errors in the future.
And heres Edwards:
I have been against the
Can Ban from the get go.
I never in a million years
would have thought that Id
ever consider an appeal. And
it wasnt until Councilmember
Reaves brought up the fact that,
moving forward, theyve given us
zero direction as to what we can and cant do.
To have that lack of clarity for the future, makes
me consider the appeal at least. I dont want
it to be over turned, but, not knowing how to
avoid stepping in another pile for the next two
years is kind of important.
Please read the following out loud for
maximum effect:
Let me be very ####ing clear about this.
Its a summary ####ing judgment, which was
requested by BOTH the City and the plaintiffs.
A summary judgment means that the ####ing
judge agrees with the ####ing plaintiffs case infull. You want to know the ####ing basis for the
####ing ruling? Read the ####ing arguments.
Maybe showing up in ####ing court once in a
while would have helped too. It was kind of an
important case, you stupid ####ers.
Also, to be ####ing clear, the fact that
Psychic City Attorney Madame Val Acevado
can read minds but cannot explain a summary
judgment so Reaves and Edwards can
understand it means that we have a ####ingincompetent City Attorney, who needs to be
####ing fired TODAY.
To be even more ####ing clear, the job
of letting you (Reaves and Edwards) know
whether or not youre going down the wrong
####ing path is not the job of the court, its
the ####ing job of your ###ing City Attorney.
Youre asking a ####ing judge to be your
####ing lawyer because the ####ing lawyer
youve got brings new meaning to the words####ing incompetent. Shes the one that
just sent you down the wrong ####ing path,
and if you dont move to fire her for this, you
get to wear the ####ing dunce cap next.
In short, the City Attorney, Val Acevado,
and the Citys attorney, William McKamie, are
pretending they dont understand exactly what
happened in that courtroom, and Edwards
voted to appeal a ruling she agrees with,
which is a first in the history of history.
Continued on page 5.
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City Hall Ordered to PayThe City of New Braunfels was given a
triple whammy Friday by Visiting Judge Don
Burgess in the disposable container and coolersize lawsuit against it. Predictably, Council
members voted Monday to appeal, claiming
they didnt understand why the judge ruled the
ordinances unconstitutional.
Attorney Jim Ewbank, who represents the
river-oriented businesses that sued the City,
anticipated the Citys action. They will appeal
everything as far as they can, Ewbank said
during Fridays hearing.
Ewbank said Tuesday that if the City isconfused by the ruling, it only needs to look
at his motion, as the judge agreed with the
entirety of the plaintiffs arguments. The
motion stated that the ordinances were ruled
unconstitutional because they were void for
vagueness, arbitrary and capricious, and
preempted by State law.
First on Friday, the judge signed an order
declaring the disposable container and cooler sizeordinances unconstitutional and unenforceable,
and that the City is illegally spending taxpayer
funds to enforce the Ordinances.
Second, Burgess ordered the City to pay
more than $250,000 in attorneys fees. This is
on top of the at least $341,000 New Braunfels
has already spent on its own attorneys fees.
Third, the judge ruled that law enforcement
cannot continue to enforce the ordinances
during the appeal. The City had argued that ithad the right to keep the ordinances in place
during appeal.
During the hearing, the Citys hired
attorney, William McKamie, continued to
make the argument that the ordinances were
lawful because they were approved by New
Braunfels voters.
The citizens of this town have the right to
choose to spend their hard-earned money to
protect their water supplies, McKamie said.
However, Ewbank pointed out that an
unconstitutional law remains unconstitutional,
regardless if it is approved by voters. Ewbank
said such a line is not a proper argument in
a Constitutional case, noting that Jim Crow
laws were once supported by the public.
You cant set aside Constitutional rights, even
if the ends are legitimate, Ewbank countered.
Counterting the argument that thedisposable container ordinance has saved
money by leaving a great deal less trash to
clean up, Ewbank pointed to New Braunfels
own budgets.
Before the ordinance, the City budgeted
$152,000, in 2009-10 as well as 2010-11,
to the company Pristine to clean up litter from
the rivers. The City had also budgeted funds
for six police officers to patrol the rivers as well
as 15 park rangers.
After the ordinance passed, the City
budgeted $140,000 to Pristine in 2012-13,
a savings of $12,000. While there would
remain six officers on the river, the number of
park rangers rose from to 67. The total cost
was $280,000, a significant jump.The current years budget, 2013-14, the
City maintained the same numbers, except for
park rangers, which dropped to 55. In both post-
ordinance budgets, the reason given for spending
increases was for education and enforcement
of the disposable container ordinance.
McKamie, the Citys attorney, objected to
Ewbank using the budgets as hearsay. He
was overruled.
Most of Fridays hearing was spenthaggling over attorneys fees. The City argued
that it shouldnt have to pay because the plaintiffs
received their relief with permanent injunction
of the ordinances and that the municipality has
immunity from having to pay such fees. Indeed,
in its pre-hearing motion on fees, the City argued
that it was entitled to attorneys fees.
Judge Burgess ordered the City to pay
almost $238,000 in attorneys fees, $14,350
in expenses and almost $2,400 in court costs.
Along with those fees, the judge also ordered
New Braunfels to pay $7,000 if it makes any
unsuccessful post-judgment motions, $20,000
if it files an unsuccessful appeal to the Third
Court of Appeals, and $17,500 in case of
an unsuccessful appeal to the Texas Supreme
Court. Payment of any fees, however, will be
frozen if the City appeals.
The City argued that it has the right tokeep the ordinances in place during its appeal.
Ewbank, however, said that is not true, citing
several cases that said the judge has the authority
to not permit the City to supersede the ruling.
Burgess agreed, ruling that since the law
is unconstitutional, the City cannot continue to
enforce unenforceable ordinances.
Naturally, McKamie was unhappy. Were
disappointed, he said. We can now see who
really cares about the rivers and who doesnt.
Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.
Due ProcessWITH NICK ROGERS
HZ Fa out
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
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TXCITIZEN.COM 5
Continued from page 3.
Heres why its unconstitutional, according
to the Motion that the judge agreed with:The
ordinance is void for vagueness, arbitrary and
capricious, and preempted by State law. That
means it was too vague to enforce and the City
didnt have the right to pass it in the first place.
There. Done. You need more information? It
was argued in front of the judge, entirely onthe record. In most cases, your attorney could
easily explain those arguments for you. Maybe
they just want to stretch this thing out. Maybe
they were sleeping in court.
Mo Money, Mo ProblemsThe attorneys fees in the can-ban case were
awarded last Friday, with the City of New
Braunfels ordered to pay over a quarter-million
dollars to the plaintiffs in the case. Nick Rogers
has the full story, including a breakdown of how
monies have been budgeted, in his Due Process
column, which appears on Page 4 of this issue.
The Citys attorney, William McKamie,
made some absolutely insane suggestions
during the hearing, including:
That any ordinance approved by
voters is lawful (Say hello to Jim Crow)
That ofcial City budgets should beconsidered hearsay
That the CITY, not the PLAINTIFFS,
should be awarded attorneys fees
Read that last one again.
See, the City was found to be in violation of
the Texas Constitution, and therefore, in the wrong.
They not only think theyre entitled to have their
attorneys fees paid for a problem they caused by
breaking the law, but have the gall to suggest they
deserve them in front of a judge. Sure, they gotmoxie, but this is just shameful. Yuck.
This is why we need to clean house in
the City Attorneys office theres too much
comfort with deception and bad logic. Just
one functioning brain, attached to a spine,
and featuring a post-bronze age conscience
would be a good start. We can build from
there. Ethics are important, even for lawyers.
IN OTHER NEWSOctavio, We Hardly Knew YeWalnut Avenue Project Manager and man-
who-just-couldnt-seem-to-keep-his-story-
straight, Octavio Garza, seems to have taken
our demands that he be fired to heart, and
put in his notice with City Hall. We suspect he
figured City Manager Robert Camareno might
be taking those demands seriously as well,and, as we all know, its best to get ahead of
the ball on stuff like this.
HZ Fa outThe Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung is still
licking its wounds from last weeks front-page
debacle, wherein the HZ accused the Moms of
New Braunfels group of charity fraud, and then
tracked down the family of a deceased teenager
to see if they were in possession of charity funds
intended for his attackers legal defense.
As it turned out, the attackers family did
indeed have all the money that had been raised
on their behalf, but the HZ didnt check far
enough into the story to see what the facts were.
We went ahead and got the story straight, without
harassing the grieving family, and published it in
last weeks column, which is available online at
txcitien.com. We started with an interview with
the funds administrator, Stacy Berry.
Its important to note that Berry is not
the founder of the fund, but was the party
ultimately responsible for administrating it and
disbursing the funds.
We got a message from Stacy after the issue
hit the streets. I had made clear my objection to
a fund being started for the attacker before the
victims funeral had even taken place, but Berry
made an excellent point about that, which has
caused me to dial back my objection intensity
from the full 100 percent to about 80. Afterall, nobody knew what actually went down
for a good long time after the attack. When it
happened, everyone thought it was a stupid
high school fight that ended tragically, not a
premeditated ambush, which we saw on video.
Heres what she had to say:
I saw your article today. Thank you
for printing the truth. I do want to say that I
understand your opinion regarding any typeof fundraiser for a killer. But you should know
that at the time the fund was created and
most of the money had been donated, no one
(including the media) knew the real story of
Logan being attacked.
I think I can speak for many others when
I say that money was donated in the spirit of
compassion from the perspective of a parent.
Most of the people who donated are parentsthemselves, and it is unimaginable to be in the
shoes of either family. Thank you again for
reaching out to me and allowing me to share
my side of things.
Thanks for speaking up, Stacy. We
appreciate you taking the time to meet with
and write to us.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
Gary P Nunnwith special guest, doug moreland
Friday, April 4 at 7pm
HWY 46,2 MILES PAST
CLEAR SPRINGS
830-379-8883DIRTYSTEXAS
@YAHOO.COM
Call830.379.8883fortickets!
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Last Saturday, Miss TX Citizen and her giant scissors helped Sylvia Ayala and her crew celebrate the grand re-opening of the Iron Horse Grill on Business 35!
The gang enjoyed some dang fine breakfast tacos and burgers, and after the ribbon was cut, the kitchen staff entangled Sylvia in celebratory Silly String. The
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Homemade Bloody Marysusing Fresh Infused
Jalapeno/Garlic Vodka
Come see us at5000 Old Hwy 81in New Braunfels
830-632-5627
GreenTreeApartments
FREEUtilities!
That's right, all bills paid!
35
337
46
35
Old
Hwy81 A
ustin
>
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
9/16TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Fri 3.28
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Cashd Out
w/ Jimbo Mathus
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigan Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country StoreCorey Smith
w/ Mike Ryan
7pm, 18+, $15-$20
Limelight
Lonely Horse, Migrant Kids, Joe Vinn,Bright Like the Sun
8pm
Luckenbach Dance HallMartin & Lewis
4pm
Almost Patsy Cline
8pm
Red Eyed FlySilence in Apathy, The Chase Meridian,
A God Unknown, 3Denied, Aundroma
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger JointLincoln Durham
w/ The Roosevelts
8pm, $13-$40
Stubbs BBQYonder Mountain String Band
w/ The Brothers Comatose
7pm, Outside
ZombiesBestemmia Aeternalis, Xapharon,
Maleficent, Disgusted, Matchless
9:15pm
Sat 3.29
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
TBA
10pm
Gallery Lineup:
Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigan Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Johnny Bush & the Bandoleros
8pm, 18+, $20-$25
Korova
The Creepshow, The Phenomenauts8pm
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Shan & Annie
1pm
Bruce Robison & Kelly Willis
9pm, $15
Red Eyed Fly
G Jet, Soulfresca, Alesia Lani,
Mike Hen & Dirt Rich
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
The Damn Torpedoes
8pm, $10-$30
Stubbs BBQ
Odesza
w/ D33J, Kodak to Graph
9pm, Inside
Thirsty Horse Saloon
Dave Jorgenson
9pm
OUTOF
BiergartenFeaturing Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh HandmadeSandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Live Music Every Night
Never a Cover
Kid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
BiergartenFeaturing Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers
Special Events Monthly
Fresh HandmadeSandwiches and Salsa
Private Parties- Catering
Wedding Facilities Available
Live Music Every Night
Never a Cover
Kid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!
omalovesyou.com
MAR 27@ 6 JAM NIGHT
MAR 28@ 6:30 JOEY FENDER AND THE 55'S
MAR 29@ 1 THE TEXAS SAINTS
@ 6 PEPPER'S BLUES
MAR 30@ 2 ARMS LENGTH
APR 3@ 6 JAM NIGHT
Upcoming Shows:
See you there!
BESTOF THE
WURST
2013
Double Winner!Best Live Music Venue
& Best Biergarten
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Karaoke
Tuesday Nights, 7:30pm 21+
Trivia
Thursday Night, 7:30pm
Faust Brewing Company
Trivia
Thursday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
10/1610 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Hair & HeartsHair & HeartsBlues FeStivalThe third annual Hair and Hearts Blues Festival to
benefit Pink Heart Funds at Oma Gruenes SecretGarten was another huge success! The folks fromBlinders Hair Salon harvested 95 ponytails from all
manner of generous Texans, including singer/song-writer Susan Gibson, while fans and friends of OmaGruenes and the New Braunfels Blues Society donat-ed $7,000 to the cause! Thanks to the donors andsponsors, twenty Texas suffering from cancer willhave some great new hair to make them feel a little
bit better. Well done, yall.
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
11/16
MOST WANTEDCOMAL COUNTY S
ASK A MEXICAN!!
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
12/1612 AD SALES 830.358.2493
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
MEDELLIN, JESSERODRIGUEZMale 507 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possessionof a controlled
substance pg 1 under1 gram and theft ofproperty under $1500with 2 or moreprevious convictions
CLEMMONS,
TOBY LEEMale 602 210 lbsDOB: 05/20/1980CHARGE: Bail
jumping and fail to
appear felony andfailure to appear fordriving whileintoxicated
DELAFUENTE,RENE SALAZARMale 509 165 lbsDOB: 03/09/1970CHARGE: Bail jumpingand fail to appearfelony and three counts
of failure to appear fordriving whileintoxicated with childunder 15 years of age
GARDNER,
ADAMMale 508 210 lbsDOB: 11/09/1973CHARGE: Failure toappear for possession
of a controlledsubstance
AGUILAR,
HEATHERFemale 507 173 lbsDOB: 05/10/1988CHARGE: Burglary of
habitation and creditcard or debit cardabuse against elderly
LINDIG,
JESSICA MARIEFemale 502 180 lbs
DOB: 01/26/1979CHARGE: Failure to
appear for possessionof a controlled
substance
PHILLIPS,MICHELLE J
Female 502 135 lbsDOB: 09/27/1982
CHARGE: Bail jumping
and fail to appear felonyand fail to appear forpossession of a
controlled substance
TURNER,AARON LEE
Male 508 130 lbsDOB: 07/20/1966
CHARGE: Bail jumpingand fail to appear
felony and failure toappear forgery
financial instrument
WHITE,RONALD JEY
Male 510 175 lbsDOB: 10/31/1975
CHARGE: Affidavit ofsurety to surrender for
tamper/fabricatephysical evidence with
intent to impair
RODRIGUEZ,
ARTURO LOPEZ
Male 506 170 lbs
DOB: 12/27/1989CHARGE: Failure to
appear for evadingarrest or detention
with vehicle
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurateaccount as of Monday, March 17, 2014 at 10:00 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try toapprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs Office and are notindicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any personis innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED.Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
CATES,JOEL DAVIDMale 510 175 lbsDOB: 01/19/1986CHARGE: Failure toappear for possessionof a controlled
substance andviolation of conditionsof bond for possessionof a controlledsubstance
ARRESTE
D
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Can you help me
unravel the citrus dilemma? When I
am in Mexico or a Mexican restaurant
or market I am unable to find lemons
(yellow, egg-sized, tart-tasting fruits).
Whenever I ask, I get green-colored
fruit, which looks and tastes to me like
limes (green, smaller than egg-sized,
tart tasting fruits).
I understand that there are Persian
limes and Key limes (smaller, sweeter-
tasting). But what are limones, which
they sell in the markets? I thought limn
was a marketing creation by Sprite/7UP,
a blend of lemon and lime juices. Have
the genetically modifying corporate
food scientists succeeded in creating
a limn, and why is it only available in
Hispanic markets? Please enlighten me,
so my future father-in-law no longer
refers to me as El Cabrn!
Le Chupacabra
Dear Gabacho: Why Mexicans call the
limes used in our cooking limones when the
Royal Spanish Academy calls that fruit limas
is the probably the most confounding question
mexicanos have of themselves after whyPancho Villa insisted on using 19th century
military tactics at the Battle of Celaya.
And the answer boils down to agricultural
terms used in Mexico. If you want a lemon
in the motherland, you have to ask for limn
amarillo, says Alfonso Cano, founder
and CEO of 1810 Revolutionary Clothing
Company, which all aspiring Mexican boxersand MMAers should wear while sparring.
Cano has worked in produce for years,
and he himself admits the etymological
controversy drives people crazy. The limn
Persa is the actual wording used to signify what
Americans call limes. If you ask for a lima in
Mexico, you will most likely be getting a sweet
limewhat Americans call a Key lime, which
we call lima dulce or limn criollo.
And if you want to get even more
confused: the Persian lime does turn yellow if
you let it grow long enough, which makes it
look like a lemon. But whatever you want to
call limones, better hoard them fast. The trifecta
of a bad harvest, demand, and drug cartels inMexicos lime-growing areas has made prices
skyrocket: a 40-pound case of limes sells
wholesale to grocery stores for $115, more
than triple its previous historic high. If you think
your Mexican neighbors pick from your fruit
tree a lot, you aint seen nothing yet
Okay, so Im probably a puta.Ive had countless partners, a sizable
percentage of which were Mexican.
Anglo and black men do it about the
same way: slow to fast, ending with
a big blow. Mexican men start like a
jackrabbit, banging away at 150 humps
a minute. Is it something cultural,
inherited, or just a rush to finish?
Mamo la Pinga
Dear Gabacha: Chula, you aint no whore
just cause you like to sleep with men. But I
have to wonder about your choice of chorizo,
because the stats just dont reflect your reality
that men want to finish muy pronto rpido
arriba arriba. For instance, the 1992 National
Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) study
conducted by the University of Chicago found
that the prevalence of premature ejaculation
among gabachos, negritos, and wabs was
19%, 34%, and 27%, respectively, which
means that our hombres can hold out pretty
good, jackrabbit sexo and all.
Far less scientific was the announcement
by some app that said its collection of bedroom
stats showed New Mexicans had the longest
sexytimesand guess what state in los Estados
Unidos has the highest percentage of Mexis?
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook,follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano
or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!!
Hot in the Kitchen!Carpe Canis
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
13/16TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Old Man Winter has finally headed back up north, and although weve enjoyed some really
hearty stews and soups, its time to start cooking lighter, fruiter fare. What better way to celebrate
strawberry season in Texas and the incoming warmer weather, than to enjoy some fresh picked
strawberries and a cool glass of fresh squeezed lemonade? Ive combined these spring and
summer tastes into one rich poke cake. This is an easy recipe that can be shared as a dessert
for Easter or taken to any backyard barbeque or patio get together.
Spring Strawberry Lemonade Poke Cake 1 lbs. fresh strawberries, sliced
Juice from 1 lemon
cup granulated white sugar, divided in
half
15.25 oz. box of Butter Recipe Yellow
Cake Mix (Betty Crocker) 1 cup quality real lemonade (not a
lemonade flavored powdered drink)
1/3 cup butter, softened
3 eggs
Zest of 2 lemons, reserve tsp. for
whipping cream
12 oz. jar of lemon curd (in the jam & jelly
aisle of your local store)
2 cups very cold heavy whipping cream 1 tsp. vanilla extract (e-mail me to get my
homemade recipe for vanilla)
In a medium bowl, combine strawberries, lemon juice, and cup sugar. Cover bowl
and set aside to marinate. This can be done a few hours before making the cake or overnight.
Refrigerate.
Preheat oven to 325. Grease just the bottom of a 9x13 glass baking dish. Prepare cake
per box directions substituting lemonade for the water. Add butter and eggs as directed on
box. Combine as directed but add lemon zest to batter. Bake for the lowest recommended time,
because the sugar in the lemonade that you are using instead of water will serve to brown thecake faster. Remove cake from oven and let cool in the baking pan. Once cake is cooled, poke
holes all over the cake with a large drinking straw in a checkerboard pattern.
Strain lemon juice and sugar marinade from strawberries and combine with lemon curd,
then set strawberries aside for layered topping. Pour lemon curd and juice marinade mixture
over the cooled cake and smooth down with a spatula, spreading the mixture over the cake
and allowing it to fill in the many poked holes. Layer reserved strawberries on top of the lemon
curd marinade mixture.
In stand mixer bowl with the whisk attachment, combine very cold heavy whipping cream,
cup sugar, vanilla and reserved tsp. lemon zest. Whip until soft peaks form. Layer whipped
cream over top of layered strawberries. Top with more strawberries and lemon slices as desired.
Refrigerate for several hours or overnight.
Enjoy your Texas spring and summer!
Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!
Sherri
Copyright 2014 by Eat, Drink & Be Sherri. All rights reserved.
Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of
8. This summer Chef Sherri will be sailing on the M/V Liseron which sails weekly from Sitka to Juneau, Alaska. On board,Chef Sherri will be preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, happy hour hors doeuvres, and cocktails for her 20 passengers andcrew, so get ready for some amazing new recipes! Chef Sherri can be contacted at [email protected].
Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri Gallagher
Misha Rum Tum
Carpe Canis
Carpe Cattus
MARCH MADNESS Adoption drive!Bring home a new dog for only $50or a
new cat for $30for the entire month of March!Meet them in person at the New Braunfels
Humane Society, at 3353 Morningside Drive,
or call 830.629.5287 for more information.
Help us save a life today!
830.625.5700 happytailspetranch.com
This space generously provided by
Grooming
Boarding
Daycare
Valet Services
Pet PhotographyNatural & Organic Treats
Happy Tails Pet Ranch
is a family owned and
operated full service
grooming and boarding
facility located in theheart of New Braunfels.
HoudiniAnnette Rita
Odie
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 AD SALES 830.358.2493
TextWINGSNBto71441
FORGREATOFFERS
&GIVEAWAYS!
Buy 1 Meal &2 Beverages & Receive
2nd Meal 50% Off
Buy 1 Meal &2 Beverages & Receive
2nd Meal 50% OffDine-in only, limit one per customer.
Limit one coupon per table. Not validwith any other offers. Maximum discount $6.00.Valid at New Braunfels and San Antonio Location Only.
Expires 6/30/14
GREAT FOOD & GREAT ENTERTAINMENT
Your March
MadnessHeadquarters!Grab your brackets and watch
them play out on 20+ TVs,
grab your wings to go,
or let Snap! deliver them to you!
830-626-9464(WING)
983 LOOP 337 NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130Delivery! www.snapNB.com 830.358.7281
ItwasnothingbutHARDCOR
EatDirtysBar&QlastSatu
rday
night, as the dim
inutive grapplers of Extr
eme Midget
WrestlingbroughttheactionouttoHighw
ay46.Implements
ofdestructionincludedam
ini-bike,pipewrench,acrutch,
severalpizzapansandthe
requisitefoldingchairs.
THIS IS YOUR SAMPLE BALLOT
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
15/16TXCITIZEN.COM 15
BESTOF THE
WURST
2014
THIS IS YOUR SAMPLE BALLOTTear it out, take it with you!
FUN
Best Coin-Op Game Bar Old Ice House
Watering Hole
Scores
Riley s Tavern
Freiheit Country Store
Best Sports Bar Buffalo Wings and Rings
Scores Sports Bar and Grill
The Watering Hole Saloon
Black Whale Pub
Old Ice House
Best Backyard/Patio Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Dirtys Bar & Q
Adobe Verde The Pour Haus
Riley s Tavern
Koozies Icehouse
Best Live Music Schedule Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Phoenix Saloon
Billys Ice House
Best Texas Mojo Old Ice House
Watering Hole Saloon
Riley s Tavern
Freiheit Country Store
Dirtys Bar & Q
Phoenix Saloon
Iron Horse Grill
Best Pick-Up Bar Phoenix Saloon
Black Whale
Pour Haus
Prickly Pear
Watering Hole
Billys Ice House
Best Place to Hide a Body Forbidden Island of Booneville Ave
North Trib Drainage Project
Any Given Fissure on Walnut
HZs Groovin Section
DRINK
Best Beer Bar Old Ice House
Dirtys Bar and Q
Freiheit Country Store
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Iron Horse Grill
Koozies Ice House Bubbas Big Deck
Best Wine Bar Vino en Verde
Vineyard at Gruene
Kork
Winery on the Gruene
Gruene Door
Best Full Bar Phoenix Saloon
Watering Hole Saloon
Buffalo Wings and Rings
Adobe Verde
Scores Sports Bar and Grill
Prickly Pear Lounge
Rileys Tavern
Black Whale Pub
Faust Brewing Co
Pour Haus
Best Local Micro Brew Faust Brewing Companys Golden Ale
Guadalupe Brewing Companys Texas
Honey Ale
New Braunfels Brewing Companys
Erde Weiss
Best Signature Shot Adobe Verdes TKO Frog
Oyster Bars Breakfast Shot
Rileys Taverns Cucumber Shot
Phoenix Saloons Purple Gecko
Buffalo Wings and Rings Mexican Candy
Calahans Car Bomb
Faust Brewing Cos Key Lime Pie
Infernos Ring of Fire
Best Signature Cocktail Prickly Pear Lounges Pear Punch
Adobe Verdes Dos Rita
Rileys Taverns Key Lime Pie
Watering Holes Watering Hole Punch
Phoenix Saloons Pepperita
Buffalo Wings and Rings Wingarita
Best Bloody Mary Faust Brewing Co
Phoenix Saloon
Pour Haus
Watering Hole
Oyster Bar
Black Whale
Adobe Verde
Buffalo Wings and Rings
FOOD
Best Signature Burger Spud Ranchs Texas Burger
Phoenix Saloons Blue Burger
Lone Star Float Houses Bacon Chili
Cheeseburger
Dirtys Bar and Qs Dirty Nasty
Iron Horse Grills Bossman
Scores Cheeseburger
Best Signature Sandwich Olives Meatball Sub
Oma Gruenes Secret Gartens Chicken
Salad Sandwich
Iron Horse Grills Texas Club
Cravings Envy
Scores Pulled Pork
Best Signature Pizza Calahans Pubs Buffalo Chicken Pizza NY Pizza Pubs Cooper
Bosses Pizzas Herd
Figlios Old School
Oreganos Margherita
Infernos Scorpion Pepper Pizza
Best Signature Cupcake Sweet Dreams Bakerys Elvis
Two Tarts Strawberr y Lime
Gruene Flour Cupcakerys Dreamsicle
PEOPLE
Best Bartenders Prickly Pear Lounge
Old Ice House
Watering Hole
Scores Sports Bar and Grill
Prickly Pear
Rileys Tavern
Freiheit Country Store
Oyster Bar
Dirtys Bar & Q
Koozies Ice House
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Black Whale
Phoenix Saloon
Faust Brewing Co
Adobe Verde
Buffalo Wings and Rings
Calahans Pub
The Pour Haus Bubbas Big Deck
AJs Ale House
Best Baristas Kora-Kora Coffee
Gruene Coffee Company
NB Coffee Company
Crosswalk Coffee, Downtown
Crosswalk Coffee, Westpointe
Best Fake Journalist TX Citizens Uncle Ken Esel
Herald-Zeitungs Ethel der Klatsch
Herald-Zeitungs Sheamus OGroovahan
CIVICS
Most Appalling Abuse of Power NB Aero Takeover
Towing Contract Bidding Fiasco
Can-Ban Debacle Justin Carters $500,000 Bail
Worst Expenditure of Public Funds Walnut Avenue Benches
Can Ban Defense
Psychic City Attorney Val Acevados Salary
4-Bs Corporate Welfare
Use the next two weeks to perform your due diligence. Research those burgers. Sample those shots. Visit thosebackyards. Soak in the mojo. Then stagger to your computer and vote between April 11 and May 7. Well publish the
address of your web-based voting booth in the April 10 issue.
Did we inadvertently leave your favorite out? Let us know at [email protected], and well consider your suggestion for inclusion on the final ballot maybe.
ld lik tha k h f ll i l f h i d i ll
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.27.14
16/16
24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar
Live Entertainment - Pool Tables
BLACK WHALE PUB367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605
Karaoke Thursday & Sunday
DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday
118 Common St.830.387.4466
SOUPSARE
BACK!
SPUD
RANCH
Open Mon-Sat 11 to 8Closed Sundays
Greg GallagherAttorney at Law8 3 O .2 3 7 .2 2 6 5
Free Consultation!
DWI DEFENSE $1,5OO* Expunctions $5OO** E x cludi n g F i li n g F e e s
989 Loop 337 830.626.2253 /SweetDreamsNB492 West San Antonio
The Bra Specialist
830.214.0728
15% offwhen you check-in on
(Does not apply tosale items and maynot be combined with
other offers.)
Hair & HeartsHair & HeartsBlues FeStival
BENEFITTING
Than kyou!
The Texas Ski RanchMontana Mike's
The Reel
The Perky Peacock
Rita's Organic Food
Market
ScottyPtography
Michelle at Blinders
Lori White Massage
Lone Kro' Metal Art
The Alamo Draft House
Ernesto's Jewelry
Element 29
New Braunfels Candy
Happy Tails Pet RanchThe Brauntex Theater
Clyde and Sandi Gray
Glass Hoppers
Rudy's BBQ
Starbucks
360 Personal Fitness
Paradise Fun Center
The Jumpy Place
Alamo Music
Terri Hannasch
Glasshoppers
Tommy Talley
Patrick and Christina
FallinDick and Kathy Koegle
Kimberly's Kakery
John and Gaylynne Payne
Peggy Patton
Blumenmeisters Flower
Market
Susan Gibson
New Braunfels Welders
Supply
Holly Cruz
Francine Larrabee
Wally's Party Store
Tri City
Wright DistributingGLI
Heidi @ Blinders
Cindy Lee Yeargan
Charis Keenum
Donella Doyle
Smokey D's
June Randow
Julie Bosko
Monty Tyler
The Monty "Guitar"
Tyler Band
would like to thank the following people for their generous donations, as well as ourco-sponsors for this event, The New Braunfels Blues Society and Blinders Hair Salon. We
would also like to thank our countless volunteers who worked all day for this very worthy
cause. We raised $7000 and 95 ponytails for Pink Heart funds, thats over 20 Texans whose
lives will be a little bit easier because of you.
910 Gruene Rd. #3
830.387.4378
grueneroadpharmacy.com
/GrueneR oadPhar macy
We are proud to offer:
Prescription Services, Compounding,
OTC Medication & Durable Medical Equipment
You pay the same copay and get more value!
"Bringing personalized service back to pharmacy."
46
337
ECOMMON
STH
ANZRD
GRUE
NERD
Try our
NEWbreakfast tacos!
Served 7 to 10am
Pick-up
Drive Through
Now Open!
830.606.1610 1030 N Business Ih 35