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Learning Objective:To use descriptive language when
describing a setting.
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It will be written in
three chapters: boarding the
ship, the disaster and
being rescued.
We will be writing a
recount of a surviving
passenger’s journey aboard
the Titanic.
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You will be writing the recount in role as a passenger.
Let’s design a character to use in
our recounts.What is some important information about your
character’s personality?
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…English, Irish or another nationality?
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Is your character…
…male or female?
…an adult or a child?
…first, second or third class?
…excited or nervous?
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What could you use to help you write in chronological order?
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A recount re-tells an event. What are some grammatical and language features that you might find in this kind
of writing?
What tense might it be in?
What person will your recount be written in?
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Titanic recountfeatures
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Did you think of any of these features?
Features of a recount
• First person• Past tense• Chronological order• Adverbials of time• Possible dialogue
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As we write, we will be using descriptive language to describe the
setting around your character as they arrive at Southampton port and see the
ship for the first time.
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In this first chapter we will be focusing on the first time your character sees the
Titanic and boards the ship.
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Imagine being your character as you walk up to the
Titanic for the first time.What can you see, hear, smell or feel? What actions or movements come to
mind as you experience this moment?
Tell your partner all the words, phrases and ideas you just had.
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Descriptive writingfeatures
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Did you think of any of these features?
Descriptive writing features
• Interesting verbs • Adjectives • Expanded noun phrases• Adverbs & fronted
adverbials• Similes• Metaphors• Personification
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Click on each of them to find out more.
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Interesting verbs
Every sentence needs to have a verb in it
somewhere. Verbs are action words.
Remember: words like is, was and are are
verbs. The ship towered above
me.
For our descriptive writing, we need to make choices for the verbs we use to help convey an effect on the reader. Which actions sound more exciting,
scary or calm?
We can use a thesaurus to help us find synonyms for verbs we feel need
to be improved. Can you think of some synonyms for the
verb ‘walked’?
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Interesting verbsSynonyms for ‘walked’
Once you have found some synonyms, you can organise them on a scale of intensity. This helps
you assess the effect of the verbs you want to use.
walked
strolle
d
wandere
d
traipsed
marched
bounded
hiked
More intenseLess intense
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For our descriptive writing, we need to make choices for the adjectives we use to help convey an effect on the reader. Do you want the reader
to feel nervous, excited or bored as you describe the setting?
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Adjectives
Adjectives describe the noun(s) in a sentence. They can be used in a list before or after the noun, using a
comma to separate the different adjectives.
The dense, deafening crowd pressed forward,
eager to board the famous ship.
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A noun phrase is a word or group of
words in a sentence with a noun in it, along with any other words
which help distinguish it. It can be the subject
or object within the sentence.
If the phrase can be replaced by a pronoun, it is a noun phrase.
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Expanded noun phrases
The man threw the grey suitcase.
He threw it.
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Expanded noun phrases are a quick way of conveying information about an object. A
successful author will think carefully about the information that they put into a noun
phrase.
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Expanded noun phrases
A noun phrase can be expanded by
adding adjectives and/or prepositional
phrases.
Excited passengers on board the ship began chatting as they
explored their vast and luxurious surroundings.
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In the example above, we already know the ship is big
because it is ‘towering’ above the narrator. The words
‘enormous’ and ‘giant’ are redundant here. What words would you replace them with
to make a more effective expanded noun phrase?
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Expanded noun phrases
As an author, you must make decisions about the
adjectives you put into the noun phrases. The
adjectives you choose should add new
information for the reader, rather than repeating
things they already know.
Towering above me was the enormous, giant ship.
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An interesting way to use an adverb or adverbial phrase is at the beginning of a
sentence. This becomes a fronted adverbial.
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Adverbs and fronted adverbials
Adverbs add information about a verb. Usually they tell us how, when, where or why the
verb is being done.
As soon as we had arrived, we could feel the
excitement in the air. Quickly, we unloaded our bags from the carriage and
made our way to Southampton port.
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SimilesA simile compares two things to one
another to create an image. They describe one object as being ‘like’ or ‘as’ another.
Effective similes will be chosen to suit the effect that you as an author
want to create and the context of the
writing.
The portholes were like glistening eyes, peering at the crowds who had come to see the Titanic set sail.
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MetaphorsA metaphor compares two objects with similar qualities. They directly compare
them by referring to an object as it it were another.
The sea of faces cheered as the Titanic
finally set sail.
My mother’s hand was a vice around
my wrist as she guided me through the
crowds.
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PersonificationPersonification is the act of giving an object human qualities or actions. It can be used to create powerful, relatable images in the
reader’s mind.
These human qualities might
be actions, sensations, speech or physical
movements.
The Titanic welcomed us with a blast of her foghorn.
The top bunk in our cabin was calling my name.
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Which descriptive writing feature(s) will you focus on in your
writing today? What kind of mood do you want to create with
your writing?
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FSD? Activity - Shared write
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Take some time to read your classmates’ work. Are there any sentences that you think are particularly
effective? Why? What makes them effective?
Plenary
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