Download - The Power Of Making Decisions Right
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THEPOWER
OF
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1. About the author 3
2. Getting started 6
3. Decisions and their consequences 7
4. Making and taking decisions 10
5. How this book will change you 13
6. Real-life decisions 15
7. The right decision formula 19
8. Finding the cost of your decisions 32
9. The decision-making process 39
10. Paying the cost 51
11. Correcting wrong decisions 61
12. Summary 63
13. Pitfalls! 65
14. Workbook 66
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mitesh Khatri is the founder of Guiding Light Consultants (GLC) and SuccessTraining Videos (STV) Library. Under his leadership, GLC has become one of the
most preferred training and consulting organisations in India. GLC serves many
multinational organisations, including Amdocs, Zensar, Forbes Marshall, Atos
Origin, Capgemini, Dow Chemicals, 3Global Services, INCAT (TTL), Fujitsu,
CLSA, Persistent, Cognizant Technology Services, Aviva, WNS, S1 Services, EXL
Services, Novartis, Barclays, Genpact, Glaxo Smith Kline, Aztecsoft, and many
more.
STV Library offers several well-researched and presented training programmes that
are required by big, and even small, organisations. All the member organisations have
been benefitting from the training videos streamed on STV online Library.
Mitesh has acquired a thorough knowledge of behavioural science through research
that has been tempered with more than a decade of relevant and rich practical
experience. Mitesh has also participated in many training programmes to enhance his
knowledge. Some of the certifications he has received are:
Master Hypnotist by California Hypnosis Institute of India.
NLP by National Federation of Neuro-Linguistic Psychology.
Complete Curriculum for Livingby Landmark Forum, Mumbai.
Unleash the Power Within by Anthony Robbins, Mumbai.
Productivity Expansion by Mission Control, USA.
Mind Controlby Hope Academy, Pune.
Trainers Trainingby TAP Foundation.
Silva Mind Controlby Silva, Mumbai.
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Who am Iby Kryon, Pune.
Mitesh has been conducting workshops for individuals and corporate for more than
10 years. He has also been coaching and helping executives achieve their professional
goals. In several organisations, Mitesh has conducted workshops on Building
Innovation Skills, Creative Problem Solving, Business Communication Skills,
Change Management, Time Management Skills, Planning and Scheduling Skills,
Stress Management Skills, Leadership Skills, Team Building, Efficiency to
Effectiveness, Campus to Corporate, and so on.
He is an expert in teaching through experiential games, role plays, presentations and
group work. Mitesh is also an expert in breakthrough experiential tools like Steel Bar
Bending, Spoon Bending, Walking on Fire, and Breaking a Wooden Board. These
tools are very effective in Corporate Breakthrough programmes. During his
workshops, participants have benefited tremendously. They get over the biggest fears
in their life, move on from past issues, and achieve what they thought were
impossible goals in life.
In this book, Mitesh Khatri coaches you through one of lifes toughest challenges:
making a decision, and the right one at that.
The Power of Making Decisions Right, is a very powerful workshop Mitesh offers
management personnel and students. This has helped them take quicker and better
decisions in life. The technique of decision making that he teaches is also very
popular in executive coaching sessions, as it shows how quick and practical solutions
can be taken by executives.
Mitesh has also used this technique to help people resolve many of their personal
issues. He personally uses this technique in many areas of his life and it is helped him
make many important and difficult decisions in his life.
Mitesh says, Our daily life is full of situations when we have to constantly make
small and big decisions, thus my quest for this knowledge has transformed my life
completely. It gave me the power to make right and long-lasting decisions for a life of
high quality. For example, I have decided to work for only 15 days in a month and
enjoy the rest of the month as I like! This one decision has made my life a dream,
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which millions of people are still waiting to create, and yet I created this rich lifestyle
with a well-thought out decision. One of the other decisions was to be a Corporate
Trainer and Behavioural Expert even though I was an undergraduate. Yet, because I
kept working on my decision, today I coach CEOs and directors of multinational
organisations because they know that I can make a difference. If I can, then anybody
else can too, and thats exactly the skill that I want to share with millions of people
through this book.
In this book Mitesh has tried to explain the reasons why people are afraid and unable
to make decisions; why people regret their decisions; how a decision can set our life
right; and, how to correct past decisions that were wrong.
To know more about Mitesh Khatri, his work and his behavioural training
organisation, please visit http://miteshkhatri.com/
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GETTING STARTED
Do you have a problem when it comes to making decisions?
Do you have problem in owning up to a decision?
Do you always look for an easy option when you have to make a decision?
Do you believe that most of your decisions are always wrong?
Do you have a big list of pending decisions?
Are you indecisive because you believe you will regret your decision?
Do you have a list of decisions in your life, which you think were wrong, and
given a choice would you like to correct them?
Do not prefer to not make difficult decisions?
Do you prefer it if someone else had to make decisions for you, so that you
could blame that person if things went wrong?
Do you think choosing between two things is always an issue?
At this moment do you have a major decision which you are not able to take?
Do you depend on others for taking many of the decisions in your life?
Do you always go to your friends for help for many decisions in your life?
If you have answered yes to any or many of these questions, then you have
picked up the right book! Once you read through this book, and use the
worksheets to develop your decision-making skills, you will have sharp and quick
decision-making abilities.
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DECISIONS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES
The pointers offered to you here will help you in your life, no matter what issues
currently confront you. In fact, this may be one of the most important books you have
ever read in your life. Because, the quality of our life is the quality of decisions we
make!
In this book you will learn the power of making the right decisions. These techniques
have been used by the most powerful people in the world, including Mahatma
Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, and all those influential people who have had the
power to make precise, clear, and powerful decisions.
Decision making is a process, an important skill when it comes to taking major steps
and decisions in life. However, it is a process, which can be learned so that we can
control every aspect of our life.
Every waking moment, we make decisions. It is a very subconscious process.
Consider this,
We take our first decision in the morning when we decide when we want to
wake up. And then the decisions continue.
Should we get up looking forward to the day, or unenthusiastically?
Should we start our day with a smile, or by mulling over a list of problems?
Should we enjoy our work, or feel miserable about it?
Should we meet friends, or keep away from them?
Do we keep ourselves happy, or are we sad most of the time?
Do we decide to let go of your anger and control your mood, or let your
emotions control you?
Do we decide to live a mediocre life, or an extraordinary one?
The quality of our
life is the quality of
the decisions we
make.
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Do we decide to live in the past, or in the present?
Do we say No when we want to?
The consequences of all these decisions make our day, and eventually our life.
Our life is under the complete control of these conscious and subconscious decisions
that we make through the day. Thus, it is extremely important that we do not just
understand, but also master the technique of making powerful decisions, so that we
can do so instantly, and reap the benefits of our decisions for a lifetime.
Quite often, we find ourselves struggling with problems that confuse us, because we
are presented with at least two equally appealing options while we are not sure about
which one to choose. The questions could be something like this,
Should I do this, or that?
Should I do it now, or later?
Should I say it, or not?
Should I say it when I am alone, or in a public place?
Should I say the truth, or lie?
Should I use aggression, or be polite?
Should I be a straight talker, or manipulative?
Should I listen, or speak?
Should I do it, or not?
Would it be the right thing do, or should I choose something else?
How can I make the right decision?
What if this decision is wrong?
What if I fail again?
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Should I reveal who I truly am, or keep it hidden?
The list can go on, and such confusions make us weak since we are not in a position
to reach any kind of conclusion. This state of dilemma can be really dangerous
because it saps our strength by using up our energy in just thinking about various
possibilities. I know that given a choice nobody wants to live in a state of weakness
or confusion.
In this book you have a chance to change all this and understand the power of making
the right decisions.
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MAKING AND TAKING DECISIONS
The name of this book itself contains a very importantlesson on decision making. Think about this, is there any
decision in the world which is universally right or wrong?
Think carefully!
Some people say that not killing is a universal right decision. Well, do you think a
murderer or soldier would agree? Of course not. If they did, they would stop killing at
once! A person who wants to murder someone, does so for a purpose which they think
is noble, and similarly a soldier is just discharging his duties towards his motherland.
So, which decision is universally right? Or, is there any such decision?
Lets think about this some more.
My friend got married when he was very young. When he decided to get married,
most of his friends, including me, felt that he was taking a wrong decision and that he
was not old enough for marriage. We all thought that he would face many challenges
and would have to make many sacrifices after getting married. We also thought that
at some point in his life he would regret his decision.
Its now been four years since he took that decision, and I would not say that he has
had a very peaceful and easy married life. During these four years he has had to face
many challenges, such as shouldering the responsibilities of taking care of a family,
running the house on only his salary, having a baby, not getting enough time for
himself and his friends, and so on.
I do not see him have a great life, hence for me, his decision of getting married is still
wrong. But, having said that, he has never regretted his marriage at all. For him, his
decision was and is right even today.
Why is this decision wrong according to me and why is it right for him? We will
understand this later in this book. At this point we need to understand that, a decision
There is no decision
in the world, which
is universally right
or wrong.
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that I think is wrong, could be completely right for someone else, whereas a decision
that I think is right may be completely wrong according to someone. You may have
observed this in your own life. Because, there is no decision in the world, which is
universally right or wrong.
What is right or wrong is very subjective, and depends on the person who is taking
the decision and the situation in which the decision is being taken.
I am sure you realise that one persons right decision could seem wrong for someone
else. So, now think again, is there any decision in the world which is universally right
or wrong?
No! There is no decision in the world which is universally right or wrong!
But, can we take a right or wrong decision in our lives?
Yes! In fact our decisions can be labelled right or wrong only when judged in the
context of our own life.
Dont you already know this to be true! All our decisions are right or wrong
individually or personally, and can never be generalised for the entire world. Because,
we are the only ones who have to live with our own decisions and nobody can do that
for us. That is why we must own up to our own decisions and understand the processof making right decisions.
Another important fact we must recognise is that, on its own, no decision is right or
wrong. As an individual we need to consciously make our decisions right. Thus, you
can never find readymade right decisions to take (although we keep looking and
asking for them, dont we?).
So, it is incorrect to say that we take right decisions we must rather say we make
right decisions. You cannot take decisions, as there are no readymade right
decisions to take, we must makeour decisions right.
Summary
There are two takeaways:
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Seen universally, decisions are never right or wrong
Decisions are right or wrong only when seen in a particular context
We dont take right decisions, we make right decisions
We must learn how to make the right decisions and thus this book is called The
Power Of Making Decisions Right.
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HOW THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOU
Here is what I can promise you will gain from this book, or
by attending my workshops on decision making,
Promise 1: You will have all the required knowledge and tools to make right
decisions forever.
Yes, this knowledge, the tools you will pick up, and the power you will learn to
channelise, will last you a lifetime
Surprised? I know that this seems to be a very bold statement, but I am sure you are
curious to know if it is possible to learn how to make the right decisions.
If you are sceptical about my claims about giving you this knowledge, the power to
make right decisions, well, you dont have to take my word on it. Find out for
yourself! Read through this book, attempt the worksheets and you will be pleasantly
surprised at all that you learn.
Promise 2:You will also have the unique ability and power to convert all your past
wrong decisions into right ones.
This might sound impossible, but using the processes explained in this book, it is
possible to convert your past wrong decisions into right ones today.
I am sure you have taken at least one decision in your past, which you probably
regret. If you are nodding your head, this means you have just recollected the painful
details of a decision that you think was wrong, and you still regret it.
Given a choice, would you like to convert that wrong decision into a right one in the
present, so that you never have to regret it anymore?
I bet your answer is yes!
Yes, I want to change the past, I want to make it right again.
The ability to learn
from our decisions is
the biggest strength
of true leaders.
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I hear you! If this is your answer, then you are in the right place, my friend. Once you
understand whats in this book, you will be able to correct your past decisions.
Promise 3: You will gain the ability to learn and grow from every decision you have
made in the past, and enhance your decision-making powers.
The ability to learn from our decisions is the biggest strength of true leaders. Thus,
their strength to make right decisions is enhanced every time they take a decision.
Most people weaken their own decision-making power, because they do not learn
from their previous decisions.
But, now it is time for you to join the group of successful leaders so even your
decision-making strength will increase every day.
I promise you that the knowledge in this book will help you learn and grow from
every decision you made in the past rather than being stuck with it and regret it.
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REAL LIFE DECISIONS
I once met four friends who were unable to make some very important decisions in
their life. I was able to coach them successfully and helped them make the right
decisions. I have put forward the entire decision-making process using the narrative
technique, because it provides a very valuable real-life perspective.
It was late in the evening when four friends Raj, Tina, John, and Tony were
deep in conversation about pending decisions in their lives, and how they were failing
to reach any conclusion. They had all been grappling with certain problems for a very
long time and were very upset with their inability to make the right decision. They allagreed that everything in their life had been negatively affected by this. Not only
were they extremely frustrated, but also completely stressed out day after day,
wondering what to do next.
Just before they were about to go their separate ways, John remembered seeing an
advertisement for my organisation, Guiding Light Consultants, and told them about
my promise to help people make the right decisions in their life. John remembered
reading about the coaching sessions and workshops that I conduct. Within seconds
they were on the phone with me, fixing up an appointment.
Raj and Tina were excited about meeting me, whereas John and Tony were skeptical
but wanted to give this a shot. After all, they had nothing to lose.
The next day, bright and early, Raj, Tina, John, and Tony stood before me. Here is
what happened and how they all found what they were looking for the right decision!
***
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Mitesh: Hello everybody, how are you all today?
Raj: Hi Mitesh, we are fine. How are you?
Mitesh: I am excellent, thanks. Before we start, could I request each one of you to
tell me briefly about yourself and your pending decisions?
Raj: Sure, Ill start. I am an engineer and have been working in a multinational
organisation. I always wanted to earn a Masters degree in Business Administration
(MBA) so that I have a better career. Since I already hold a full-time job, it is difficult
for me to join a MBA course, which is also full-time. I am also not able to decide if I
should do my Masters, because I am the only earning member in my family and have
three people at home to support financially.
So Mitesh, my problem is, should I leave my job and do my Masters, or should I
continue with my job? I am not able to decide.
Mitesh: Nothing to worry about, we will work on it.
John: I am an entrepreneur and have also been making additional money through
trading on the stock exchange. Mostly, I have made good profits from the market,
however, recently, I sustained a sizeable loss due to a particular stock. This definitely
has been a painful and unforgettable experience. Because of this loss, I have now
become very scared of the stock market. But, at present there is a really good
opportunity, which can get me very good returns and also help me recover my earlier
loss.
But, Mitesh, I am not able to decide if I should take the risk of dealing in stocks ever
again.
Mitesh: Okay John, we will help you make a right decision. Now Tony, give me a
brief of your pending decision.
Tony: I am a senior executive in a software company, and have gained a lot of
experience in this field. I am very good at providing innovative solutions for IT
companies, so I aspire to have my own consulting firm. Since currently I have a
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highly paid job, I have financial security, which will disappear if I start my own
business. I will also have to borrow money from the bank as I do not have enough
funds to start up on my own.
I am in a dilemma. Should I take the risk and start my business, or continue working
in my current secure job? I am married and have a family that is dependent on me.
Also, there are a few loan instalments to pay.
Mitesh: Well, this sounds like an entrepreneur in making. We definitely have an
answer for you too, Tony. Tina, what about you? Whats your story?
Tina: I got married after I graduated and decided to be a housewife. I knew my
husband before we married, and I thought I had married the man of my dreams.
However, after two years of my marriage, I think I made a mistake. My husband isnot as romantic as I thought he was. He respects me and takes care of all my needs,
but he is not spontaneous and also not dynamic enough to stand up for himself.
Since, I am financially dependent on my husband, but not satisfied emotionally, I do
not know whether I should continue in this relationship or leave?
Mitesh: Fine. The issues are not as big as they look to all of you, we can very easily
work on them and find the right decisions. All I need is a short session with all of
you. I can already see a twinkle of hope, joy, and eagerness in your eyes.
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Summary
Raj is not able to decide whether he should continue working, or leave his job and
enter a MBA programme.
John is not able to decide whether he should risk dipping into the stock market, after a
very bad experience.
Tony cannot decide if he should leave his job and start his own business, or if he
should continue with his secure and highly paid job.
Tina is not able to decide whether she should continue living with her husband, or if
she should leave the relationship.
Coming up, is a transcript of the conversation that I had with them all, and with them
you will also learn how to make the right decisions. So, continue reading this
wonderful story that teaches you the lesson of a lifetime.
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THE RIGHT DECISION FORMULA
Raj: Now that you know our problems, how should we go about resolving them? Do
you have a systematic process that we can follow to make right decisions?
Mitesh: Yes, there is a systematic process, in fact I am about to share with you the
power of making right decisions. Since I have taught these techniques to many people
I have been able to design simple and systematic steps.
Why dont all of you take a notepad and pen and answer the following questions.
Today, I will not only help you make right decisions when it comes to your current
confusions, but I will also teach you the technique, so you can always make the right
decisions in your life. Now, answer the following questions:
a. What are the many other pending decisions in your life, which you have been
avoiding, or have been unable to make?
b.From this list, which is the most important decision for you?
c. Also list the wrong decisions you have made in the past, which you regreteven today, and would like to set right.
John: Okay, give us a few minutes.
Now heres my invitation to you, dear reader. Practise and understand this powerful technique
of making decisions and I bet that by the end of this book you will have the knowledge and
ability to make right decisions through your life. Dont just read this book, work with me and
you will be glad you did so. Go ahead answer these three questions before you read the next
page, in which I reveal the four facts of decision making.
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Mitesh: If you have finished writing, we can continue. There are four basic facts
regardless of what kind of decision you need to make. I am making you aware of
these facts before I explain to you the step-by-step process to help you arrive at the
right decision. It is very important for us to understand these facts, so that we do not
fall into the obvious pitfalls of decision making.
Tony: What are the obvious pitfalls?
Mitesh: You will soon learn that too, dont worry.
The 1st
Fact of Decision Making
Mitesh: Here is a question which will lead you to the first fact, Every decision comes
with a cost, is that true or false?
After thinking for a while, everybody said, True! Every decision has a cost.
Mitesh:: Thats right. Every decision comes at a cost, no matter how small or big. We
might not be able to see it sometimes, but it is always there. The difference can be in
the type of the cost, but it is always there. I am sure you have heard that every action
has an equally powerful reaction.
Everyone nodded.
Mitesh: Let me explain this with an example. I have a friend called Seema, who was
working as a personal secretary for a senior executive in an IT company. Seemas
boss used to give her a lot of his personal work, which Seema did not like to do. I
helped her realise that there is a cost to saying yes as well as a cost to saying no. If
she continued to say yes to her boss whenever he gave her his personal work, then
the cost is that she does not like working for him and is upset. Also, the cost is that
she was developing a strong dislike towards herself and her boss, which is not a good
feeling.
If she says no to her boss, then he might start disliking her, which she has been
afraid of.
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I explained to her that every decision comes at a cost. In fact, not taking a decision is
also a decision and that too comes at a cost. Once she understood this, she realised
that there is no way to run, there is a cost to each option.
Later, I explained the entire decision making technique to her, which helped her make
the right decision. At the end, to my surprise, she actually chose to do her bosss
personal work. But, the difference was that now this was her decision and she is very
happy with it. Just like Seema, we too must realise that every decision comes at a
cost. So, do we all understand the first fact?
The four friends nodded.
The 2nd
Fact of Decision Making
Mitesh: We have understood that every decision has a cost. Now to discover the
second fact, answer this question.Is the cost an option, or a reality?
Tina: I think it is an option.
Raj: How can cost be an option? The cost is a reality that we cannot deny. Since we
have already agreed and understood that every decision has a cost whether we like it
or not, then it has to be reality.
Mitesh: You are absolutely right, Raj. The cost is not an option, it is a reality! Just
the way the law of gravity exists, the cost of every decision also exists, whether we
like it or not. No matter how hard we look for a decision without any cost, we wont
find one, because the cost is not an option.
If you get married then there is a cost to the marriage. The cost will pinch you if you
are not having a great life, but if you have a brilliant satisfying marriage then you
wont feel the cost, but it is still there, although you dont notice it.
Tina: What is the cost of a great married life?
Mitesh: Even if you have a great married life, you still have to make some
compromises and adjustments with the new family members, new lifestyles, a new
home, new life partner, accepting his/her habits some of which you cannot change.
The difference is, since you are enjoying your life you do not mind doing all these
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compromises, adjustments, or sacrifices. You do not look at these things as a cost you
have to pay, but it is still a cost.
Tina and the others smiled and nodded to show they accepted this fact.
Mitesh: So can you recollect the two facts we have learned so far?
Everyone said, Every decision has a cost whether we like
it or not, and the cost is not an option it is a reality.
The 3rd
Fact of Decision Making
Mitesh: Great! Now lets move to the third fact. There are two types of costs that
come along with every decision that we take. One, the known or predictable cost.
This isthe cost, which we can see or analyse during the decision making process or
predict. Then we have the unknown or unpredictable cost. This isthe cost, which we
cannot analyse or predict before making the decision.
The prediction of the cost also depends on the analysis we make while thinking about
the decision. If we analyse the problem confronting us in detail, then there will be a
very low, or minimal costs which will be unknown to us while we make the decision.
For instance, when we make a small decision such as waking up late in the morning,
we know the cost and can predict that we will reach the office late. However, we may
not foresee that the result of reaching late could be working late in the evening and
missing out on the fun that you could have had with your friends and family.
So, you see, there is a known cost and an unknown cost for every small or big
decision of life. Lets take one real life example, which will help you understand all
these three facts.
I have a friend who is a successful manager in a multinational organisation. She has
spent most of her life outside India. She has a daughter whom she left behind in India
so that the child could study uninterrupted by her mothers constant travelling. When
my friend decided to leave her child behind, her intention was that her child should
learn Indian culture and values, which can be learnt best by living in India and having
an Indian education.
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Did she perform a cost analysis while making that decision?
Yes, she had done a cost analysis. The known cost was that while her daughter would
pick up good Indian cultural values and education, she would not get the presence of
her parents. Even though my friend would have to stay away from her daughter for a
long period of time, she was ready to pay all these known costs.
Now, since her daughter has hardly stayed with her parents, she is now used to living
her life without any instructions from her parents. However, my friend and her
husband are now back in India and are staying with her. Obviously, the parents keep
monitoring their childs studies and other things, which the daughter does not
appreciate at all.
So, the daughter is now unhappy and does not like the way her parents are interferingin her life anymore. Seen through the eyes of my friend, this is the unknown or
unpredictable cost of the decision that she had taken many years ago when she
decided to leave her daughter behind.
Now, does she have an option of not paying the cost? No! She does not have that
option, she has to pay this cost whether she likes it or not.
This is a great example for us to see all the three facts clearly. How every decision
has a cost, how the cost is a reality not an option, and that there are two types of costs,
known or predictable, and unknown or unpredictable costs.
With all that we have learned so far, are you beginning to understand how to make
the decisions you came here for?
Tony: Yes, I understand now that getting started on my own business, or staying in
my secure job, both come at a cost. Since the cost is not an option, but a reality, I
must start listing the known costs. Although, I think, I must also be mentally prepared
for the unpredictable costs so that I do not get too many surprises in future.
Mitesh: Bravo Tony! You have almost understood the entire technique of making
right decisions.
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Raj: I am clear about these facts now, but I am still confused about which is the right
decision for me. Should I continue working, or apply for a Masters degree?
Mitesh: You are still confused between right or wrong. Let me tell you the real
confusion that people have about making decisions. If you all understand this, then
making decisions will be simple and quick. Are you all ready to learn further?
Everybody was eager and Mitesh could see that they were
now at the edge of their seats. He continued.
The 4th
Fact - Real Confusion
Mitesh: Many people are confused about making decisions in life.
Students are confused when deciding between further education or
getting a job
Business people are not able to decide between expanding their
business, or not
A bachelor is confused when it comes to marriage, he is not sure if the
girl is right or wrong for him
An employee is confused whether to tell the boss when he/she is not
comfortable doing a certain job or project
The whole world seems to think that the real confusion is about right and wrong. But
today, I want you to know that the confusion is never about which decision is right or
wrong. The confusion is never between Decision A or Decision B. The real confusion
is completely hidden and people dont want to confront it.
This confusion is the biggest barrier that stops people from making the right
decisions. Most of us are not able to clear this hidden confusion simply because we
are all distracted by the superficial confusion of right versus wrong.
So, what is this confusion?
All four of them tried to come up with an answer, but after
offering a few guesses, they gave up.
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Mitesh: You will be shocked when you hear that the entire human race is stuck
because of this confusion.
The real confusion is that as human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do
not want to pay the cost happily. Read this again.
As human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost
happily!
Thats right. We all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost
happily. Even if we pay the cost, we pay it with regret or sadness.
Tina, if you look at your problem closely, you are trying to find an option that will
save you from paying the cost of leaving your husband and having to sacrifice your
needs.
And Raj, you are looking for a decision where you keep getting paid as well as get to
do a full-time Masters degree from IIM.
John, you are looking for a decision where you can continue investing in shares with
no risk of failure.
Tony, you want to start a business while you dont want to pay the cost of leaving a
job that gives you security.
All of us are in search of choices where we do not have to pay the cost of deciding
one way or the other.
You all know that you have specific options available, but there are also some known
and unknown costs.
Lets take your example Raj. Let me suggest a simple decision as an option to you.
Lets say you convince your current organisation to sponsor your Masters degree and
give you a part-time job. Would that make you happy?
Raj: I tried that Mitesh, and they agreed to do it. They were in fact ready to pay 50%
of my salary as well give me the part-time job.
Mitesh: Then whats the problem with that option?
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Raj: They are asking me to sign a contract with them, which says that I will continue
with them for three years after completing my degree.
Mitesh: And you do not want to do that?
Raj: No, because then the purpose of the Masters from IIM is lost. As soon as I
finish my degree from IIM, I will get a job with a very big pay packet in a better
multinational organisation. So, I definitely dont want to sign a contract with my
current organisation.
Mitesh: So you see Raj, you cannot take that option since you are not willing to pay
the cost. Thats fine, so lets look for some more options. What are the other options
you have?
Raj: My colleague suggested that I should forget about the Masters and continue
focusing on my job and excel at it.
Mitesh: Well, that is possible isnt it?
Raj: Its possible, but I am not happy to grow at average speed. For extraordinary
speed, I must get the leverage of a Masters degree.
Mitesh: You dont want to take this option because you dont want to pay the cost of
growing slowly, is that right?
Raj: Yes!
Mitesh: Great, but lets look at your other options as well. How about leaving your
job and applying for a full-time Masters programme?
Raj: Thats not possible since I have a family to support.
Mitesh: You are not ready to pay the cost of letting someone else take care of thefinancial responsibilities?
Raj: Yes, thats right.
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Mitesh: Observe and understand that no matter how many options we explore, but
because of being stuck in this attitude of not wanting to pay the cost that we will
always remain unhappy and confused.
Human beings have had to deal with this confusion for ages, and probably will
forever continue to face this reluctance to pay the cost. We keep looking for a free
option which does not exist. When we look for something which does not exist, we
get lost, confused, and powerless.
We all need to stop looking for an option, which has no cost, we need to first accept
the fact that every decision has a cost and it is a reality, not an option. Once we accept
these facts, we will stop looking for an option where there is no cost to pay. Then we
are ready to make realistic and right decisions.
So, have we agreed that we need to stop looking for a free option? If we are, then I
shall now give you the final formula for making right decisions.
Everyone nodded and agreed that they were no longer
looking for a free option.
The Formula to Right Decisions
Mitesh: Now that you know the four basic facts of making decisions, lets quickly
recap them.
Tony: First fact, Every decision has a cost whether we like it or not.
John: Second fact, The cost is not an option, it is a reality.
Raj: Third fact, Costs are of two kinds, known or predictable, and unknown or
unpredictable.
Tina: Fourth fact, As human beings, we all want to make decisions, but most of the
time we dont want to pay the cost happily.
Mitesh: Now that you know the facts accurately. Tell me what is the formula for
making right decisions?
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Tina: I am not sure about the formula, but I think it has something to do with clearing
the biggest confusion about not wanting to pay the cost.
Mitesh: You are quite close, Tina. Does anybody else have any other ideas about
what the formula could be?
Everybody was silent for a while, but finally asked Mitesh to go ahead.
Mitesh: Fine, here is the formula, but make sure you let it sink in before you reach
any conclusions! The formula is simple and you need time to explore its full
potential.
If you pay the cost happily and courageously then your decisions will become right,
but if you pay your cost with regret then your decisions will become wrong.
John: How can you be so sure about this formula?
Mitesh: Very good question. I am sure each one of you would have taken some
decisions in your life, which you think were right and you still think you are right.
Yet some people around you think you were wrong. Give me an example of one such
decision in your life.
John: During my graduation, I realised that I am not good at studies, but I was good
in business. Hence, I decided to leave my education and started my own small
business.
When I left the education halfway through, obviously a lot of people around me were
not happy with my decision. Even today, many people feel I would have done better
if I would have completed my studies, but I still feel I am in business because I left
college. If I would have studied, today I would have a job in a multinational
company, but not my own business. I think my decision was and is right even today.
Mitesh: Do you know why? But, before answering this question, tell me how do you
feel when people ask you about your education?
John: I feel very comfortable telling people that I am an undergraduate.
Mitesh: Do you feel scared about what people will think when they hear that?
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John: No, in fact I feel proud, because today I am doing much better than many of
my highly educated friends. I do agree that education is important in life, but I feel
that the decision I took then was also right. Today, I am very successful in my
business and I am proud of myself.
Mitesh: Do you know why your decision is still right for you?
John: Because I am happy with the success that I have today.
Mitesh: When you started the business did you ever struggle or fail for some time,
like most people would?
John: Yes, of course. I failed quite a few times and had to struggle for a few years.
Mitesh: During those hard days, did you ever regret your decision of leaving your
studies half way? Did you feel that if you had done your studies, you could have done
better?
John: Those days and those small failures were tough, but I never regretted my
decision. Even if I had completed my education, I knew that the struggle and failures
are part of life.
Mitesh: So you think your decision was and is right, despite the failure and the
success?
John: Yes, thats right.
Mitesh: So then, answer my question again. What makes you think your decision is
right even though there are people who still feel you are wrong?
John: I think I didnt mind paying the cost of the struggle and failure that I went
through.
Mitesh: Your decision is right for you, because you have paid the cost of your
decision happily and courageously and you continue to do so even today.
The cost of going through the ups and down of business
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The cost of people having a negative attitude towards the fact that you
are an undergraduate
The cost of working hard during hard times
You have paid all of these costs happily and courageously, thus today you have made
a right decision.
John: Now I see what you mean.
Mitesh: But John, please tell me, has it been easy to pay this cost all these years?
John: No, it has not been easy, in fact it was tough for quite some time, but I knew
that if I went through the hard times courageously then I would definitely succeed, as
I did!
Mitesh: So, one more lesson to learn is that a right decision is not always equal to an
easy decision. That is because it is not always easy to pay the cost.
But since you had chosen to pay the cost courageously in spite of going through
difficult times, your decision is still right.
John: Yes, I completely agree with you and am also starting to understand the
formula now.
If I pay the cost happily and courageously then my decisions will become right, but
if I pay my cost with regret then my decisions will become wrong.
Mitesh: Yes John, you got the formula absolutely correct. But tell me, what would
happen if one fine day you start regretting the fact that people think you are nothing
more than a mere undergraduate?
John: Then my decision would seem wrong. I see your point, if I regret my cost I canmake even my right decision into a wrong one.
Mitesh: Now you got it perfectly!
Tony: I also understand what the formula means, because I can relate this to a lot of
my decisions, which are right for me, but for other people these are wrong decisions.
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Tina: For other people our decisions may be wrong because they cant see
themselves paying the cost, which we are paying courageously.
Raj: So this is how soldiers think when they have to fight for their country, because
they are willing to pay the cost of death courageously.
Mitesh: Thats right. You have all got the formula. So just say it once more for me.
Everyone said, if we pay the cost happily and
courageously, then our decisions will become right, but if
we pay it with regret then it become wrong.
Mitesh: Excellent. Why dont you start listing the various costs for your decisions, so
that we can choose which one to pay and start making right decisions.
Dear Reader, I hope you will do this exercise as well.
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FINDING THE COST OF YOUR DECISION
Raj: But how can I choose the cost?
Tony: On what basis should we make the choice?
Tina: Is there a technique when it comes to choosing, or we can do it randomly,
going by our gut feeling?
Mitesh: These are all very important questions. To understand how to choose the cost
we need to discuss a very important and integral part of our life, its called values!
We all live our life based on the values we have imbibed through our life. All the
decisions of our life are also driven by our values.
John: What are values?
Mitesh: Values are conscious and subconscious priorities that we make. All our
choices and decisions are completely based on our values. Most of our values come to
us from our parents, family and friends.
Tina: I think we mostly inherit our values from our parents.
Mitesh: Thats right Tina, we learn most of our values from our parents, however
values are not static. As life changes, our values keep changing in importance, thus
affecting their hierarchy.
Tony: Hierarchy? How?
Mitesh: Yes, there is a hierarchy comprising the first, second, and third priorities in
our life. Mostly your core values remain the same, however, you will see them
changing their position in your hierarchy.
For instance, when you are a student and young, you will find yourself spending most
of your time with your friends and not with your family. At that age, what are your
priorities?
Values are conscious
and subconscious
priorities that we
make.
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Raj: At that age our priority is having fun with friends, not being with our family.
Mitesh: Thats right. This means having fun with friends is one of the top values and
spending time with the family is the next priority in our hierarchy of values at that
age.
When you grow up and get married and have kids, soon you start to love spending
more and more time with your family, and have very little time for your friends. This
means that your values have changed their place on the hierarchy. The family is on
top, and spending time with friends is much lower in the hierarchy.
Let me share a story with you. I have a friend called Maria. She used to take care of
herself very well and also used to shop a lot for herself. When she became a mother,
her focus shifted on to her kid. She started taking care of her kid more than she usedto take care of herself. Most of her shopping is now for her kid than for herself. What
has changed? Her values have changed their position on the hierarchy. Caring for the
family has become her most important value.
Tony: I understand this, but what are values but how do we realise what our values
are?
Mitesh: Explaining values will require a very long conversation to understand all its
facets, which we will not be able to cover now. However, I will briefly explain how
you can find your values and how you can understand what another persons values
are. This brief explanation will give you a fair idea about your values and thus help
you choose your cost appropriately and make the right decisions.
A simple way to find out your values is by checking what are you fighting for, or
defending. You will find that you always fight for your values. Of course, this is not
the best or the only way to arrive at a list of your values, but it can definitely give you
a fair idea of it.
Lets do a small and quick question-answer session. You need to think about the
problem I throw at you. And, you need to justify your answers.
Would you like to keep your child in crche (day care centre) so that you and your
spouse can work and make money?
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Raj: No, I would not like to bring up my child in a crche. Instead, I would prefer
one of us taking care of our child. I do not mind if we make less money, but for me
my child is more important.
Tina: I would not mind sending my child to a crche, because for me my career is as
important as my husbands career. For me, giving the best facilities to my child is
also important, hence I would like to work and make more money for my child.
Tony: I agree with Raj, I would not want anybody else bringing up my child. I would
love it if my wife were to stay at home and take care of our child.
John: I am not yet married, so I cant comment on this. But for me, my wife and
child would be equally important, so if she prefers working instead of babysitting
then I would let her do that. I would not make her sacrifice her dreams to fulfil mydreams.
Mitesh: Wow, excellent replies! Now can you tell me who is right and who is wrong?
John: Well, we all are right according to what we value the most. Although, nobody
is really completely right or wrong.
Mitesh: Excellent, John. Universally, there is no single right or wrong decision for
anything, decisions are right or wrong only when seen on a case by case basis.
No one is wrong here because you have all answered this question based on your
value systems. Whichever value is your top priority, you defended it and accordingly
took your decision.
Raj is already willing to pay the cost of making less money, but he would rather have
his child brought up by him and his wife and not a babysitter. He made this decision
right by choosing his cost based on his values. For him, the family is on top, and
growth and success is secondary.
Tony agreed with Raj because his value hierarchy is the same as Raj, and thus their
decisions are the same. They immediately chose their cost happily and courageously.
For Tina, her decision is to send the child to the crche, because she values and
respects her career as much as her husbands. Besides, she also values the comfort
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and success that her career would make possible for her child. Based on her most
important values, she has made her decision right and no argument can make her
wrong.
Similarly, for John, his most important value is ensuring that his wife is happy, and
thus he would be happy to send his child to the crche if she wants to pursue her
career. If not, he is also happy if she decides to take care of the child at home. His
clear values have made him strong enough to choose the cost and make the right
decisions even before he gets married. Well, he is definitely ready to be a good
husband and a father right now!
Everyone laughed at this, but told Mitesh that they were not sure
how to analyse the cost that they would willingly pay, based on
their most important values at a given moment in time.
Mitesh: I have listed a few values in a table, it is not an exhaustive list. If you think I
have missed anything, please feel free to add those values in the table.
I would like all of you to do one exercise before we move ahead. This exercise will
help you find your values. Read through the table, and choose eight values that you
think best fit you.
Remember, the choices should be made on the basis of what you are and not what
you would like to be.
Tina: Could you please give us one more example so that we get more clarity on the
concept of values?
Mitesh: Sure! Now, imagine that there are two friends, both are good in their chosen
profession and work in the same organisation. However, one of them decides to go
home at 6 in the evening, and the other decides to stay back at work till late in the
evening.
According to you, who is wrong? The one who goes back home early, or the other
one who works till late evening?
Raj: The one who goes home on time.
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John: No, the one who unnecessarily stays late at work.
Mitesh: Actually nobody is wrong here. They just have different value systems that
are organised according to their chosen hierarchy. One believes in leaving home early
for spending time with his family and the other believes in working extra to realise
his ambitions. One values his family more than work, and the other values his
ambitions more than his family, in that moment of their life.
Since Raj defended the person who works late, Raj values working hard over
spending time with his family, whereas John, you value your family more and believe
in going home at an appropriate time.
So, you see, we all make our decisions right by choosing to pay our cost happily and
courageously. However, we will be choose that cost only when it is clearly alignedwith our values. When we choose to pay a cost that comes with a decision that goes
against our values, we will most certainly regret that cost in the near future and this
makes our decisions wrong.
Lets take one more example. If you ask students, what are your priorities or values in
life? They will tell you studies, a good career, and having fun. But often, you will find
students missing their classes for a movie or a party. Theoretically, they might
mention different values to you, but their actions demonstrate different values or
priorities. So they are really unclear about what they really value. Do they want to
prioritise having fun over being successful? The moral of the story is, please check
your actions before finalising your values. As our actions are a reflection of our true
values.
Now that you all are clear on how to choose values, please start the exercise and
choose the values yourself.
Dear Reader, why dont you join us! Please choose the eight values that you hold
dear over the others in the list, and continue reading only after you have done
this.
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Values
Dependable Family Impulsive
Passion Integrity Fun
Understanding Trust Team Player
Creative Fairness Leaving a Legacy
Adaptable to change Achievement Accountable
Consistency Recognition Maintain Balance
Honesty Credibility Entrepreneur
Career Development Empowerment Risk taking
Respect for others Effectiveness Competence
Customer focused Transparent Commitment
Quality Lifelong learning Freedom
Gratitude Initiative Faith
Responsibility Compassion Peace
Love Justice Truth
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Tony: Okay Mitesh, we have chosen eight values from the list.
Mitesh: Great! Now, from this list of eight values, choose four, and once you have
done that choose only two.
Tina: Done.
Mitesh: Good! These two values are your top two values. Of course, in the next few
days you have to keep checking this list. Are you always behaving in favour of these
two values, if not, you will need to do this exercise again and find your right values.
Okay, tell me what values have you chosen in the final draft?
Raj: My top values are family and career.
Tony: Family and security.
John: Risk taking ability and money.
Tina: Security and Fun.
Mitesh: Now you know what your priorities are and thus based on this you can
choose to pay your cost courageously and happily.
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THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS
Raj: I am so excited today! I am sure to find the right
decision and get out of my confusion.
Mitesh: You have derived your values, so now you
are now ready to work on your decisions.
You need to identify the available options for each problem you have and then
analyse the cost attached to each option. Remember that the cost can be known as
well as unknown.
Raj: I dont think I am getting this. What do you mean by options?
Mitesh: To explain this better let me work with you. Can we?
Raj: Yes, Mitesh.
Mitesh: In our earlier conversation, while we were talking about the fourth fact we
have already discussed your problem and its cost, but to make it more clear lets have
that conversation once again.
Raj: Mitesh, my confusion is that I would like to do a Masters in Business
Administration, but I cant leave my current job as I am the only earning member in
my family.
Mitesh: And you are not able to decide between studying further and working, right?
Raj: Yes, perfect!
Mitesh: Okay! Here are some suggestions that are the options you have. Since you
are not able to leave the current job, join the evening school and do your Masters.
Raj: I found out about this, but if I join evening school then I wont have any time
left for myself and my family. This is the cost of the first option.
While analysing the
costs of our decision,
we can ask our friends
and family to help.
They can contribute by
giving us theirperspective of the
possible cost of our
decisions.
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Mitesh: You have a point, in that case why dont you think of doing the Masters
through a distant learning education programme? You do not have to attend any class
and you still get the certificate.
Raj: I found about that as well, but Mitesh, the certifications done through distance
learning programmes are not as valuable as a full-time course from IIM. This is the
cost of my second option.
Mitesh: In that case Raj, you have only one option left, leave your job and attend the
Masters course.
Raj: I cant leave the job, as my family will have to face financial problems.
Mitesh: If thats the case, then drop your idea of doing the Masters and continue with
your job. This is your fourth option.
Raj: But, what about my aspirations?
Mitesh: Now, everyone, have you noticed the different options for Rajs problems?
Raj: One is doing my Masters in an evening school.
Mitesh: Correct, and what is the cost you will have to pay?
Raj: No time for myself and my family.
Mitesh: List all the other options and analyse their cost.
Tony: Opt for a distant learning programme, and the cost for that is it has no value.
John: Leaving the job is another option, but the cost is that his familys expenses will
not be met.
Tina:Not doing his MBA, is also an option and the cost for that is that Raj will have
to sacrifice his aspirations.
Mitesh: Perfect, so now you all have understood what I mean by available options
and analysing their costs. Remember, there may not be just one cost for every option,
there can be multiple costs, so do analyse carefully.
While analysing the costs of our decision, we can ask our friends and family to help.
They can contribute by giving us their perspective of the possible cost of our
decisions.
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Sometimes, other people are able to see what we cannot and that perspective can help
us realistically arrive at the known and unknown costs of our decision. So, instead of
asking our friends and family for what the right decision is, which we have realised
does not exist, we must ask them for what the possible cost of our decisions could be.
However, the final choice should be made only by you.
Now, back to your notepads and write down the options available to you and analyse
and mention the related costs. The best way to do this is by creating columns for each
option. This gives you complete clarity on each option and its costs.
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RAJ: OPTIONS and COSTS
Available
Option
Part-Time
study
Distance
Learning
Leave the job and
study
Continue working,
no studies
No time formyself and
the family.
Value of thedegree is not as
good IIMs.
Family will face afinancial crisis.
Will have to sacrificemy dreams.
Degree is
not
valuable.
It will not
boost my
career.
Family will have
to support me.
Career growth will
be slow.
It will not
boost my
career.
I will not be
proud of myself.
I will get a good
degree.
Family will have my
financial support.
I will not be
proud of
myself.
I can have a great
career with this
degree.
Related
cost
Will be able to
provide a good life
to my family.
Mitesh: Please let me know if you have any doubts, or once you are done writing.
Tina: Mitesh, I think I need your help as well. I am not able to decide on my problem
yet.
Mitesh: Tina, you have two clear options, either continue in the relationship, or leave
it. I would say, you leave the relationship.
Tina: If I leave the relationship then I would get my freedom, I will have an
opportunity to find the man of my dreams. But,
I am not educated enough to get a good job
How will I take care of my expenses?
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My parents will suffer unnecessarily.
His parents will also suffer.
How will I take care of my baby alone?
Will I be able to find a nice person for myself?
What if that person does not accept me and my baby?
Mitesh: I can see that the cost of leaving your relationship is very high for you. In
that case I suggest you decide to continue in the relationship.
Tina: But then Mitesh,
How long I am going to sacrifice my life and my feelings?
I am not enjoying my life
I feel as if there is no life in this relationship
As such he takes care of me completely, but there is no chemistry
between him and me
We have no love left for each other
Often we have nothing to talk about
I do not want to live this kind of life
I want to have fun in my life. I want to have romance.
Of course, there are a lot of benefits in this relationship, such as, all my expenses and
social needs are taken care of by him. He is very sweet and helpful. He takes care of
our baby very well.
Mitesh: Since you are not sure of your decision, let me suggest another one. I have a
third option, but you might not like that as well.
Tina: What is that?
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Mitesh: Have an affair.
Tina: How can you give me that option! I cant even think of it. It is definitely not
my culture and it has its own negative repercussions. I dont even want to go that
way.
Mitesh: Excellent! You now have in front of you all the available options and their
costs. Please write them down on the notepad, so that you can choose the cost you can
pay.
Tina: I have understood all the options and their costs, is it still necessary to write it
again?
Mitesh: Yes Tina, we must always write down our options and costs. Dont skip that
step . Our mind has the ability to overestimate and exaggerate or underestimate or
reduce the cost, hence writing is always good. For example, say you feel like leaving
your husband, then your mind will underestimate or reduce the cost of leaving the
relationship and make you feel as if it is lesser than the cost of staying in the
relationship. So, please always use pen and paper and write everything down.
Tina: Thanks Mitesh, I understand now, I will write it down.
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TINA : OPTIONS and COSTS
Available
Options
Stay in the current
relationship
Leave husband Have an affair
I dont feel happy. I will have my freedom
and be able to have fun.
Too many issues.
No romance, love, or
chemistry in this
relationship.
The opportunity to find
the man of my dreams.
My expenses are taken
care of.
How will I manage my
kid alone?
My baby has a father,
and he takes care of us
very well.
I am not financially
independent, how will I
take care of my
expenses?
All my social needs are
fulfilled
How will I get a good
job, I am not educated
enough.
Have an excellent and
supporting family.
Will I get a good partner?
Related Costs
He is very sweet and
helpful.
Will I be able to fulfil all
my social needs?
Will I be happy with my
new partner?
Will I have such a
supporting family in the
future?
Our parents will suffer.
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Mitesh: How about you guys? Tony, John? Have you been able to write anything?
John: I think I have identified all my options. But, I would like you to work with me,
the way you worked with Raj and Tina. Just in case I missed anything.
Mitesh: How many options do you have?
John: I have two options. Either I invest extra money and recover my earlier loss, or I
dont take another risk and recover my earlier loss through my current business. One
option looks like a shortcut, but fraught with risk, and the other option is almost risk-
free, but will take lots of time.
Mitesh: Lets say you choose to take the shortcut and invest extra money, then what
is the cost?
John: If I invest extra money, then there is the risk of losing that money. I definitely
have a chance of recovering my earlier losses, however I also have the risk of losing
this investment. If I recover the money, then I will be happy, but if I lose any money
then I will have to sell my current business to pay off my debts.
Mitesh: Very goodgo on.
John: If I have to sell the business then I will have to start my career from scratch
again. I will also lose my trust in the stock market. However, if I recover my earlier
losses then I will regain my trust in the stock market, which I had. Its a very big risk
as well as a very good shortcut.
Mitesh: What does your study of the market say?
John: It says that I will recover my money, but then you never know about the
market, if anything goes wrong in any part of the world and the market is affected,
then it can go down as well.
Mitesh: Okay, if you choose not to invest any more money and recover your losses
through your business, then what?
John: Then life will be simple, not challenging. I will not have to borrow any more
money and I will recover the losses eventually.
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Mitesh: Will you be able to recover such a big loss from your current business?
John: It is possible, but it will take time. It wont be easy, according to my study of
the stock market. I will have to sacrifice my current lifestyle since I will be taking a
big chunk out of my profits to recover my money.
Also, my business will be safe. The sad thing is that I will lose my trust in the stock
market and I will not be able to take any more risks in the stock market.
Mitesh: Now tell me, are you married?
John: No not yet, hence I can think of taking these risks.
Mitesh: How will your table of options look? In fact John, while I work with Tony,
please write down all your options and costs as we discussed, in the table.
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JOHN : OPTIONS and COSTS
Available Options Invest more money to recover
earlier losses
Do not invest any more
money in the market
Borrow more money Risk is low
Very high risk No chance of losing any
more money
If I recover my money then I will
regain my faith in the stock market
Will have to compromise on
my current living standards
Will recover my losses Recovery of losses will take
time
Will not have any burden of debts I will always have doubts
about my risk taking abilities
Will be able to continue with my
current living standards
Will never be able to trust
the market
If I lose money, then I will lose my
complete trust in the stock market.
Might lose this money as well
Might have to sell my current
business to pay off debts
Related Costs
Might have to start my career from
scratch
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Mitesh: How is it going Tony?
Tony: I also have two options, either leave the job and start my own consultancy,
offering innovative solutions to IT firms. Or, continue in my current job and give
innovative ideas to my current organisation.
Mitesh: Lets look at your favourite option, i.e. leaving the job and starting a
consultancy firm.
Tony: If I start my own firm, then I will have freedom. I will be able to work as I
want to. I will be very happy and passionate about my work, because it is my passion.
But, I will have to leave my job, borrow some money to start the firm as I do not have
enough funds. I am married and have a family, so this will be a bigger risk for me.
They will have to make compromises, since initially there will be very little or no
income from my new firm.
In the long term, I will be able to make much more money than I am making currently
in my job. My heart belongs to my own firm, hence I will be more motivated to
expand my firm than to work for someone else.
Mitesh: What about your family? Will they support you?
Tony: My family will be able to support me emotionally, but financially its not
possible.
Mitesh: Lets look at your other option. If you stay in your current job, then what?
Tony: In that case, I will not be able to fulfil my dreams of having my own firm.
My family will not have to compromise on anything. There wont be any risk. I will
not have to borrow any money. My career growth will be a little slow and directly
dependent on the employer.
Mitesh: Put all these items in the table so that it becomes completely clear to you as
well.
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TONY : OPTIONS and COSTS
Available Options Leave the job and start a new
consultancy firm
Continue with the current
job
Will be able to fulfil my dreams Family will not have to
compromise
My career will grow faster My expertise will get limited
exposure in my current job
Will be able to add value to the IT
world
My career growth will be
slow
Will have to borrow money to startthe firm
My dreams will not befulfilled
Will have to work extra to make
the firm successful as fast as
possible
I will not have to borrow any
money, hence there wont be
any debts
Related costs
Initially, the firm might not make
any profits, during those family
will have to compromise till
business is settled
Risk is very low
Once business starts running
smoothly, family will have better
life
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PAYING THE COST
Mitesh: Okay everyone, your cost analysis is now
done. I will give you a few more minutes, just check
your tables, and if you think you have missed anything,
please add it now.
Remember and understand that the costs you have written down are only known or
predictable costs, there will also be some surprises when you actually start living your
decision, be ready to face that as well.
Now, based on your value systems, analyse each cost and choose which looks
feasible for you, such that you will pay it happily and courageously. Your values will
play a big role here, hence you need to make this choice without taking help from
anybody. Please do not talk to each other, just read your notepad and check your
feelings. Which cost looks feasible for you, one that you will pay happily? Remember
the cost has to be paid happily and courageously not just today but forever, to keep
your decisions right. Whenever the thought of this decision comes to you, you should
have a smile on your face and you should be able to say to yourself that you made a
right decision.
You should be proud of your decision, and that will happen only if you are satisfied
with the cost of the decision.
After today, your life will change and you will start living these decisions, which you
are making today. Make your choice very carefully and from your heart, after
considering your most important values.
Once you have decided which cost you are ready to pay happily, please tell me and
convince me about it.
John, what is your decision?
If we are making our
decisions by choosing
the cost courageously
and happily, based on
our values, then at
that given moment it
is always the right
decision.
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John: I have decided that I will make another investment in the stock market and take
another risk in my life. I am not married and have very few responsibilities. If I run
away from taking risks now, then when will I take the risk? I am ready to risk all my
money to recover my losses. I will pay my cost happily even if I lose my money
again. I am happy with my decision and will always be happy with it.
Mitesh: If you lose the money then you said you will have to sell your current
business. Would you be happy to sell your business as well?
John: I wont say I will be happy to sell my business, but I will face the situation
courageously and will never regret this decision of investing extra money.
I will courageously start my new life, if I ever have to do that. I know I can make it.
One failure cannot stop me from being successful.
Mitesh: I knew you would make that choice because risk taking is your highest
value.
John: If you knew that, then why did you not tell me that right at the start!
Mitesh: I wanted you to make the decision, not me. And then you wouldnt have
taken any interest in learning this beautiful process. You will now be able to use this
technique all your life, for all your decisions in life.
In fact, let me share with you how this knowledge of making decisions can help you
in the stock market, even in the long run.
Everybody was interested to hear this unexpected new
piece of information.
Mitesh: Warren Buffet, the man who made the largest amount of money in the stock
business says, We never manage money, we manage our decisions. This is not his
exact words, but what I have understood of his philosophy.
Lets take an example here. If we decide to buy 100 stocks of Reliance Industries
today for Rs. 500 each, then as per this technique we learned today, we must first
analyse the cost involved. In the stock market this is known as Stop Loss and Stop
Profit. You must decide how much money you can risk if you were to lose it, and
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how much money you want to make as profit from Reliance Industries. This analysis
should happen before buying the stock, not after buying it.
Most people who invest in the stock market, work on tips or rumours. But people, like
Warren Buffet, who are good investors, study and understand all aspects of the stock,
which includes the history of the organisation, political influences, the leaders in the
organisation, etc. Based on their study they answer the following two questions,
What is the maximum cost/loss that I am willing to pay?
What is the maximum profit I want to make from this stock?
Based on the study, they derive answers, and based on the answers they decide the
Stop Loss and Stop Profit for each stock they buy.
Before buying 100 stocks of Reliance Industries, we must study the market and
analyse the Stop Loss and Profit margin. Say we conducted the study and decided to
keep Rs.10 per stock as Stop Loss and Rs.50 per stock as Stop Profit.
After a month, this stock touches Rs.550 and we decide to sell this stock and make
our profit as planned. But a friend advises us to hold on to this stock for few more
days as he feels this stock will go higher.
Based on the information provided by this friend, we must again study the stock. Say
we studied the matter and found no reasons for this stock to grow further. In this case
what should we do?
John: We should decide whether we want to take the risk of waiting or book the
profit in hand.
Mitesh: Correct. We should ask, After a few days, this stock can grow as well as
deteriorate. Am I willing to pay the cost of losing my profit margin? Nobody can
predict the stock market with 100% accuracy.
If the answer is no, then we should sell the stock and make the profit.
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Now lets imagine we did that, we sold our stock and made our Rs.50 profit per stock.
And after 10 days as predicted by this friend, the stock grows as high as Rs.700. What
would you say to yourself? Would you regret your decision?
John: Well, I think we should not regret our decision, but consider our decision right
because it was not guaranteed that the stock price would go high and thus it could
have also gone down to Rs.400. Besides since we had decided to pay our cost happily
and courageously, even if the stock price goes high, our decision is still right.
Mitesh: Superb John! You are now getting hang of this technique. But tell me, what
if I said that maybe I should have analysed the market better, because I really may be
wrong.
John: In that case our decision still remains right, as we are still paying our costhappily and courageously. Also, in that moment we could analyse the market based
on what we saw and knew, it was and is not possible to see and predict everything as
we are not God.
Thus, I would not regret my decision, instead I would be happy with my decision.
However, if we feel we could have done a better analysis, then we are simply saying
that our decision was right in that moment and now we see that we could make it
even better next time. This way we get better at making more right decisions in the
future.
Mitesh: Great! That was the perfect answer! I wanted to hear that. What you said in
the end is the final and most important part of the decision making process.
We are human beings and cannot see everything and cannot predict the future
accurately each time. Thus, if we are making our decisions by choosing the cost
courageously and happily, based on our values, then at that given moment it is always
the right decision. Just like it was the right decision to sell off the stock at the planned
Stop Profit of Rs. 550.
This way, by making our decisions right we also learn from them, instead of
regretting the past forever because of wrong decisions.
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John: Yes Mitesh, I do see now that by making right decisions using the technique
you taught us, we can make more right decisions in the future.
Mitesh: Correct! And if we would have regretted our cost and thereby making our
decision wrong, then?
John: Then we would have weakened our decision making power, and instead of
learning from our past we will always be stuck and disturbed about our past.
Mitesh: Exactly! All we need to learn and understand is this, using this technology
can strengthen your decisions and make you learn faster from your past. Whereas
regretting the cost and making your decisions wrong will only weaken your decision
making strength. Also, you will feel stuck and disturbed by your past and this will
never let you move on.
Observe people in the stock market, they buy and sell stocks without conducting
market research, analysis, or even understanding their own emotional ability to pay
the cost happily and courageously. Thus, when the time comes to pay the cost of their
decisions, they regret it and make their decisions wrong. After repeating this process
a few times and making their decisions wrong a few more times, at one point they
stop investing in the stock market.
John: This is very clear now, because this is exactly what happened to a lot of my
friends in the stock market. But I am going to be different as I will implement this
technique to make right decisions even in the stock market. This sounds great,
Mitesh!
Mitesh: Amazing John! Now you understand the meaning of right decisions and how
to make them. What about you Raj, what have you decided to do?
Raj: I have chosen the option of doing a full-time Masters degree from IIM. The first
step is to talk to my family. If they are ready to pay their part of the cost, i.e. if they
are ready to take care of themselves financially, then I will go ahead.
Mitesh: Very good, will you be able to see your family struggling?
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Raj: I wont say I will be happy to see my family struggling, but I will be happy
because after two years I will be able to give them a better lifestyle for the rest of my
life. Those two years I will face the cost of our struggle with courage.
Mitesh: All the very best, and I am sure your family will support you. However, if
they refuse to support you, then what?
Raj: I thought about this as well. I am sure my family will support me and let me
fulfil my dreams, because they have always supported me. However, if they feel they
are not in a position to support me, then I will continue with my job and drop the idea
of doing the degree, till they are ready. I will be happy in both situations, since I will
pay the cost courageously, and make my decision right.
Mitesh: Excellent, I can see the confidence. I am sure your family will support you.Your cost is also aligned with your values. Your values were family and career right?
Raj: Right!
Mitesh: Tina! Have you reached a decision?
Tina: Yes Mitesh, I have decided to live in the current relationship, because the cost
of leaving the relationship is very high and I do not think I can pay that cost happily. I
will continue in the current relationship and will find different ways of having funwithin it.
Mitesh: What if the thought of having no romance in your life haunts you again?
Tina: That is almost certain, but then I will stop indulging in those thoughts and find
different ways of finding fun in my relationship. I will face the thought courageously
and happily. I know that my husband loves me, and I just need to acknowledge the
way he loves me, rather than being stuck about how I want it.
Besides, I have realised that even if I get married to someone else, I shall have some
costs to pay there as well. The cost will be different, but my habit of regretting the
cost will make my decision wrong again in the next relationship also.
So, I would rather learn and train myself to pay the cost courageously. I know that my
husband is not as romantic as I want him to be. But I am sure I am not as perfect as he
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wanted me to b