Download - The Holy Spirit and Marriage
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Experiencing the Power
of the Holy Spirit in YourMarriage (and Family)
Enrich It Gods Way
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The Holy Spirit and Life
I do not need to tell you that the
main difference between Christianity
and all other religions is that Christlives in us. Paul said in Colossians
1:27 To them God has chosen to
make known among the Gentiles the
glorious riches of this mystery,which is Christ in you, the hope of
glory.
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Effects of His Presence
To have a Christian Marriage a
person has to be a Christian
We must be able to confess with our lipsthat Jesus is Lord and believe in our
heart that he has been resurrected from
the dead and we will be saved. (Romans
10:9-10). This begins the journey that
leads us on the way to become an
authentic Christian
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Effects of His Presence
William James did not say this in his
writings on salvation, but the
authentic Christian loves everybody The song Give me That Old Time
Religionhad a verse in it that says
It makes you love everybody. Its
true. It does! Especially our spouse
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Love?
They reveal their vices and virtues
Their perfections an imperfections
Their Assets and liabilities Now this process takes place both
verbally and by observation
The best places to observe it is in
the loved ones family and socialsettings
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Why Know Them?
Because we have two
personalities
We have:
A public personality
And a private (or intimate)
personality
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Public and Private
It is the private personality thatwe have to live with when we
marry Unfortunately our personalities
are often disparate
Some men and women may becharming and delightful in publicand devilish in intimaterelationships
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Public and Private
My mentor used to describe somewomen as drawing room (public)angels and house devils
Men can be the same The only way to find out all about a
person is to know them for a sufficientlength of time and in different social
situations It takes at least a year to know them
intimately
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Love?
As we learn about one another we
psychospiritually install the other
person And when this process is complete
we are one. This is what God meant
when he told us to leave our father
and mother and become onewithour mate. (Genesis 2:24)
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Back to Effects
Just as we install our mates inourselves We also install the
Lord in our lives We love because he first loves
us, and when he does our livesare transformed
He gives us a new personality
We have:
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Effects of His Presence
A happy mood that comes from Hisindwelling love
There is a loss of worry We have an understanding of truths
not perceived before
There is changed behavior
The world is objectively changed There is a sense of cleanliness both
inside and out
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Effects of His Presence
In our post conversion life weare more likely to:
Live longerHave better health
Heal more quickly
Have better marriagesRear children of worthBe better citizens
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Effects of His Presence
Be more likely to communicate
with God regularly
Live by Gods commandments andlive moral lives
Be persons of integrity
Have stronger support
communities
Be more altruistic
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Why?
The answer lies in the presence
of the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit lives in us as acontroller that is over our mind
and guides our human nature into
Godly pursuits
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Why?
The acts of the sinful nature are
obvious: sexual immorality,
impurity and debauchery; idolatryand witchcraft; hatred, discord,
jealousy, fits of rage, selfish
ambition, dissensions, factions
and envy; drunkenness, orgies,and the like. Gal 5:19-21
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Why?
But the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.
Galatians 5:22,23a
He provides these in ourmarriages
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Fruit and Marriage
Love is enhanced
Joy comes from living together
and having children
Peace comes from the security
we have in loving one another
Patience comes as we work
toward the same goals
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Fruit and Marriage
Faithfulness is a fruit because we
have become one with our mate and
have promised to be faithful and areexpected to be
Gentleness is a derivative of love for
we do not want to hurt the object of
our love Kindness is also a derivative of love
as is goodness
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Fruit and Marriage
When we love someone we put
their best interests and welfare
above out own We live our lives for them
We deny ourselves, and are no
longer selfish and self centered We become their servant
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Exercise
I want you to take one sheet ofpaper and write a love letter to yourspouse listing all the things that
make you love them. Write only onepage. You may go over a little bit butkeep it short and concise
It can be as mushy as you want tomake it
We will take a 30 minute break whenyou have finished
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What do we want in our
Marriage We want to be able to
communicate with one another
We want to love one another We want a good sexual
relationship
We want children We want to share recreational
interests
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What do we Want?
We want intellectual stimulation
Shared religion
Having an orderly home
Having in laws we can like
Good food
Possessions
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Building Spiritual
Strength Spiritual strength comes from
regular encounters with The Spirit of
God. We encounter God
In our music
Our prayer
Our Bible study
In the Eucharist
And in the personal testimony of others
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Building Spiritual
Strength Personal testimony is what
Jesus commanded us to do in
Acts 1:8, But you will receivepower when the Holy Spirit
comes on you; and you will be
my witnesses in Jerusalem, andin all Judea and Samaria, and to
the ends of the earth."
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Building Spiritual
Strength Witness is always relating what
we have seen and heard
A testimony to the works of Godreveals his love for us and thus
he inhabits that testimony
This is why we encounter Himin witness
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Building Spiritual
Strength We need to encounter God because
our power leaks out
Our encounters renew the power of theSpirit in us and we are able to serve God
and witness for him
We can tell of his wondrous works
But we can also be be more lovinghusbands, wives, fathers and mothers,
pastors, teachers and friends
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Why?
Those who live according to
the sinful nature have their
minds set on what that naturedesires; but those who live in
accordance with the Spirit have
their minds set on what theSpirit desires.
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Why?
The mind controlled by thesinful nature is death, but the
mind controlled by the Spirit islife and peace. The sinful mindis hostile to God; it does notsubmit to God's law, nor can it
do so. Those controlled by thesinful nature cannot pleaseGod. Romans 8:5-8
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What effect does the Holy Spirit
have on marriage?
The answer is that it makes anenormous difference 50% of marriages in our country end in
divorce In the general church the divorce rate is
about 45%
When two born again Christians marry it
is only 10% And when two Spirit filled Christians
marry the divorce rate is only1%
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Why the Disparity?
The answer lies in the fact ThatGods presence in the lives of bothspouses enhances their love for one
another and they are able to use thebiblical guides to right living to beone
God began his instruction in the
beginning. For this reason a manwill leave his father and mother andbe united to his wife, and they willbecome one flesh. Genesis 2:24
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What more does God say about
marriage and family?
The Bible says that the
scriptures are a guide to right
living They clearly address Marriage
an family with principles of
relating to our husbands, wivesand children
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Principles
First it says that married and
later family life should have love
and order Ephesians 5:21-33The love should be unconditional
And spouses should be submitted
to one another
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Principles
Second there should be welldefined roles
The husband is the breadwinnerHe is to be the protector of the
home
The primary disciplinarian
An the head of the house
Attending to all his duties in love
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Principles
The husband and father is alsoto be:
HardworkingTrustworthy
Generous
Wise and knowledgeable
Frugal
A kind and fair disciplinarian
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Principles
The wife is to be the homemakerand nurturer of the children
She is to be one with her husbandin disciplining the children
Her primary job is to socialize thechildren
She may also contribute to breadwinning, but her primary duty ishomemaker
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Principles
There should be open and honest
communication Ephesians 4:17-32
There should be agreement on: Management of finances
John Wesleys principles
Sexual activity
Child nurturance And social and recreational activity
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Communication
Rules Listen
Hear them out
Talk only when it is your turn
Try to understand how the other
person feels
Dont defend yourself
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Communication Rules
Continued State in love what you think and
feel
Bring every argument to aconclusion
After the argument is over and
the emotion is out of itSETTLE IT!
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Communication Style
In marriage the couple shouldlive an assertive life style of
communicationThis means that they confess theirthoughts and feelings
The do not express their thoughts
and feelings nor do theyRepress their thoughts and
feelings
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Communication
A simple mnemonic to help you
remember how to be assertive
isWhen
I think and I feel
I would like
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Communicating Love
Gary Chapman Says that love is
communicated in ways other than
talking. It is important, but other
things are necessary.
We are to love our wives and
husbands unconditionally
Do not be critical Do not condemn
Heed Ephesians 4:29-32
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Communicating love
Do not let any unwholesome talk comeout of your mouths, but only what is helpfulfor building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen.And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,with whom you were sealed for the day ofredemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rageand anger, brawling and slander, along
with every form of malice. Be kind andcompassionate to one another, forgivingeach other, just as in Christ God forgave
you.
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Communicating Love
Spend Quality time together
It should be free of distractions
It should be a time for unrestrictedcommunication
It should be a time where you canhave fun
You should not have the kidsalong. Park them with someoneelse
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Communicating Love
A third method ofcommunicating love is to give
and receive giftsThese do not have to be expensiveThey should be something that
your mate can use and be
reminded of your loveThey should be something that
your wife or husband will like
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Communicating Love
Have non sexual physical contact Men should hold their wives so that they
feel protected and secure
They should be hugged and kissed andnot dragged off to bed
Hold their hands, put your arm aroundthem when possible while seated
Pats on the fanny, kisses on the neck,stroking their head, and other nonsexual gestures qualify. Spouses shouldreceive these with appreciation
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Communicating Love
Perform acts of service Women have a tough time raising and
nurturing kids
Husbands should help them as much aspossible especially if the wife works
Cleaning the table, loading thedishwasher, Putting clean dishes away
Taking out the trash Bathing the kids if necessary
And many other things that show youcare
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The Holy Spirit and the
Family Application of Christian
principles in marriage should:
Create stability in the homeCreate children of worth
Bring happiness to all members
And glorify God, for that is manschief aim (Westminster Shorter
Catechism--Question 1)
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What else do we need to do to
create a spirit guided family life
We should affirm our children, i.e.
love e hof them unconditionally. Icannot emphasize this enough
We should teach them biblical
values. Deuteronomy 4:9,10; 6:6-9;
31:10-13
We should be role models of spiritualmen and women
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Family Life
Communicate our faith through
personal witness and example
Teach Bible in a simple way through
Bible story telling and limited verse
memorization
Teach children how to pray by praying
with them
Teach Gods rules of moral behavior by
explaining why we obey them
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Family Life
Demonstrate your faith by living it
Go to a church where Christ is
regularly encounteredBe excited about your faith
Make it seem desirable
Communicate the benefits through
thanksgiving
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Conclusions
Having a marriage and family in
the Spirit requires continuing
spiritual growth of both parents Both parents need to actively
use the means of grace to
facilitate their growth. Theyneed to pray together, study the
bible and worship together.