PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION:
VERBAL JUDO AND THE ART OF GENTLE PERSUASION
Washington Area Lacrosse Officials Association
The Truth about Customers
The customer isn’t always right.
But they are always the customer.
What We Provide as Officials:
• Safety• Direct Customer Contact• Supervision• Management
You are the RepresentativeAt the point of impact,
a single employee “represents”the whole organization for better or worse.
What kind of representative do you want to be remembered as?
Who is Watching?
• How many people are told about a negative interaction?
• It has been estimated that seventeen persons are told about a single negative interaction that is seen by only one person
Verbal Judo• Public events have the potential for getting
out of hand
• Verbal Judo is a well established method of providing personnel with professional communication skills
• Knowing how to “redirect a person’s behavior with words” is an important tool for keeping everyone safe
Universal Truths
People want to be treated with respect and dignityPeople would rather be asked than toldPeople want to know why they are being askedPeople want to make their own choice, given options instead of threatsPeople want a second chance
We treat people like ladies and gentlemen,
not necessarily because they are,
BUT BECAUSE WE ARE.
Principles Of Verbal JudoPrinciple of Judo itself-using the energy of others to maintain control of the situation
Enables officials to safely manage the game using appropriate presence and words as options
Communication principles and tactics to generate cooperation and gain voluntary compliance under stressful situations
Key Actions Making Initial Contact
Active Listening
Managing Verbal Resistance
Moving Beyond Words
Golden Rule:
Treat others asyou would like to be treated
under the same circumstances
To Implement the Golden Rule, we need to eliminate certain behaviors & language:
Physical• Facial Expressions• Attitude• MannerismSpeech• Profanities• Tone and Volume• Verbal Parting Shots
Initial ContactAn appropriate greeting-ask for their time
“May I speak with you?”Explain why you are initiating contact
“I want to talk to you about…”If they are doing something they shouldn’t be doing, find out why
“You seem to be doing…., is there a reason why?”
Keys To Active Listening
Be open and UNBIASEDHear literallyInterpret accuratelyAct appropriately
Active Listening: LEAPSListen-Let them finish their statement
Empathize-See it from their point of view
Ask-Clarify with questions
Paraphrase-Tell them what you understand, repeat LEAP if necessary
Summarize-Put all the info together in context
GVCGenerate Voluntary Compliance
when we have to… Generate Voluntary Cooperation
on a good day…Generate Voluntary
Collaboration on a great day
Words that Escalate:Calm down!What’s your problem?You people…Come over here!I’m not going to tell you again!Because that is the rule!
Non-Escalation Phrases:May I talk with you?What can I do to help you?May I ask you…Will you assist me?Will you work with me?Do you have a question?
Anyone can talk someone into being ejected but it takes a
professional to talk someone out of being ejected
Non-escalation vs. De-escalation
If we spend more time onnon-escalation,
we won’t need to de-escalate.
GVC Example in Action
Ask – Requesting tone of voiceSet Context -- Tell them why, explain reason for contactGive Options – Positive first then negativeConfirm – Is there anything that I can say… to get you to… I would like to think that… Act – Disengage and/or escalate
Professional Civility
You have to be nice …Until its time not to be nice … Then you have to be nice again
BenefitsReferee SafetyEnhanced ProfessionalismDecreased Customer ComplaintsDecreased Vicarious Liability
Court Power (no one wants to be seated at the table labeled defendant)
Less Personal StressIncreased Morale
Use all of the InformationListen to what the person is saying,
watch what they are doing, put everything in “context” of the
current situation
Otherwise, you may never see the argument or complaint coming
Empathic ListeningEmploy active listening skills to understand the situation from their point of view
Attempt to learn what a person is thinking in order to generate voluntary:
ComplianceCooperationCollaboration
GVC: 5 Step Concept
• Ask• Set Context• Give Options• Confirm Noncompliance• Act – Disengage and/or Escalate
RespectProfessional respect is given• When you walk onto the field in uniformPersonal respect is earned• Through actions, communication,
and professionalismExpect the first, strive for the second
Verbal Judo MaximsLet attitude drift … Focus on behaviorWe don’t need the last word, we have the last actionIt’s not enough to BE good, you have to LOOK good & SOUND good, or it’s NO goodNever step on one’s personal faceThe goal is to attain personal respect, not just professionalPeople are like steel - When they lose their temper they are useless!