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The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
GUILDS PROF CRUSHES RCSU RAID Professor Anderson, one of the
guests of honour at the Elec Eng
Freshers ' D i n n e r , prevented
R C S U from making away with
Spanner and Bolt when he held on
of the raiders in a deadlock and
refused to release him until after
the attackers had withdrawn.
Professor Anderson: the next
Spanner bearer?
G o r d o n Bowser , the Elec tr i ca l
E n g i n e e r i n g D e p a r t m e n t a l
R e p r e s e n t a t i v e , h a d a c t i v e l y
dissuaded freshers f r o m b u y i n g
t i c k e t s f o r the d i n n e r , a n d
c o n s e q u e n t l y o n l y f o r t y - e i g h t
people were present in the Senior
C o m m o n R o o m when the C i t y
a n d G u i l d s ' mascots, Spanner
and B o l t , arr ived by van . A team
f r o m t h e R o y a l C o l l e g e o f
Science U n i o n attempted to steal
them as they were unloaded but
o n being confronted by superior
numbers they were forced, by
mascotry rules, to retire.
L a t e r , a larger group o f about
s i x t y c h a r g e d the S C R , a n d
d u r i n g the ensuing scuffle a glass
d o o r was shattered showering
D r C o r y a n d the student sitt ing
next to h i m wi th broken glass.
The student received several cuts
for w h i c h first a id was a d m i n i
stered. B u t the attackers were
again repelled.
RED KEN IN
SOUTH KEN G L C Leader K e n Liv ings tone
delivered a red-hot attack on
T o r y po l i cy , and in part i cu lar its
c r u s h i n g o f the F a r e ' s F a i r
scheme and its attitude to C i v i l
Defence, when he spoke as a
guest o f the Social ist Society to a
packed G r e a t H a l l on Tuesday.
M r L iv ings tone spoke for an
h o u r and then answered ques
tions f r o m the audience. ' R e d
K e n ' is a n expert speaker and
w i t h a l l the facts a n d figures at
N o . 6 2 4 B H M M f l B H H B J i
his f ingertips he was wel l able to
deal with the points raised.
M r L iv ings tone described the
convo luted legal b a c k g r o u n d to
the L a w - L o r d s ' quashing o f the
Greater L o n d o n C o u n c i l ' s fares
po l i cy ; the legal precedent used
was the suppression o f P o p l a r
C o u n t y C o u n c i l ' s a t t e m p t to
give women equal wages in 1900.
M o r e r e c e n t l y the A t t o r n e y
continued on back page
The f ina l attempt was made
j u s t b e f o r e t h e a f t e r d i n n e r
s p e e c h e s , w h e n s o m e f o r t y
students gained access through
two previous bolted doors . It
was then that Professor A n d e r
son demonstrated his hitherto
unsuspected wrest l ing prowess.
D r C o r y was later heard to
remark that he wished that a l l
f ormal dinners were as entertain
ing .
A s a result o f the damage
c a u s e d d u r i n g the r a i d , I C U
P r e s i d e n t S t e p h e n G o u l d e r
s u m m o n e d t h e t h r e e C C U
P r e s i d e n t s a n d d r e w t h e i r
attention to exist ing mascotry
rules, notab ly that there s h o u l d
be n o w a n t o n v i o l e n c e o r
destruct ion. A n agreement was
also reached that there s h o u l d be
no speeding by C C U vehicles on
the campus and that a l l damaged
a n d injuries sustained d u r i n g
mascotry raids s h o u l d be re
p o r t e d i m m e d i a t e l y t o t h e
U n i o n .
The R o y a l Co l lege o f Science
U n i o n has accepted- responsi
b i l i t y f o r the d a m a g e t o the
door , for w h i c h they are ex
pected to receive a b i l l f r o m the
Estates section.
|Friday, October 2 2 , 1982|
Mines & Ents Dear Sir
On reading F E L I X on Friday
I was astounded to discover a
letter concerning the Mines lack
of involvement in F r e s h e r s '
Week—this being the first I'd
heard of it. Now the idea of
Freshers' Week was, that for the
first time, there would be a co
ordinated set of activities and
entertainments in the first week
involving all three C C U s , I C U
and IC E n t s . A meeting to
arrange details was held in mid-
June last term at which the
relevant Mines Ents Officer,
John McPherson, was present
along with the other C C U Ents
O f f i c er s , the I C U Exec and
myself and other interested
p a r t i e s . T h e result o f this
meeting was that Ents would be
responsible for booking two gigs
and a film double bill with other
p e o p l e w o r k i n g as a g r e e d .
U n f o r t u n a t e l y , the p e r s o n
responsible for the s m o o t h -
running of this event was Phil
Greenstreet, so whilst I was at
home, happily booking bands
with Phil's failure there was no-
one to look after the other
details and chaos was unleashed.
Meanwhile I C U Exec began to
assume that Freshers' Week was
solely an Ents function, as I
suppose did the C C U s and in
particular Mines . The events
organised by Guilds and R C S in
Freshers' Week showed at least
that they were aware of the
concept but unfortunately Mines
arranged a week of Freshers'
events. I can't blame my old
mate John Eagleson, I suppose,
but as Mines V P he ought to
have known where to go tiddly-
winking this weekend without
relying on me to tell him.
Byll Waterson
I C U Ents Officer
Wellsoc Sexism Dear Martin
As Publicity Officer for the
H G Wells Society, I feel bound
to reply to the letter from the
WIST Officers published in last
week's F E L I X .
In many ways I agree with
what they had to say, and I
accept that some people may
have found the poster offensive.
The reason for using the poster
in q u e s t i o n was to a t t r a c t
people's attention, make them
read the poster and make them
come along to Freshers' Fair. In
these respects it has been a
resounding success.
I believe, however, that the
students of Imperial College do
not wish to pass a U G M motion
which would effectively censor
College posters. It is gross to
suggest, as do the ladies of
WIST, that a publicity officer
should not use pictures which
are "totally irrelevant to their
society in order to advertise its
existence".
In c o n c l u s i o n , Wel lsoc is
indeed the society where every
one's face fits, no matter what
their interests, creed or colour or
political allegiance. I can see
nothing in any poster that I have
produced that contradicts this
admirable ideal.
David Rowe
Dear Martin
So the Wellsoc poster was
offensive to WIST et al. It was
meant to be publicity and to
stand out amongst the junk that
most societies adorned College
with over Freshers' Week. What
with U G M motions and F E L I X
articles Wellsoc seems to have
obtained more attention than
could ever have been hoped for,
with the added bonus that WIST
have taken a free trip on our
publicity bandwagon.
I should like to point out that
Wellsoc used a poster with a pair
of bare breasts last year to
advertise a lecture on vampires.
There were no U G M motions on
that one—perhaps it was thought
more artistic than the last! Given
this sort of ambiguity in reaction
how is a motion calling for
almost random, public censor
ship going to solve any problems?
We will probably have running
continued on page 4.
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Poge2| | October 22,19821 IFELIX
A Grand Wink The long-awaited Tiddlywinks
Rag Stunt on Saturday was a
great success, raising £980 for
charity. None of the expected
problems from police or Chelsea
College arose.
Near ly a hundred and fifty
students f rom the three C o n
stituent College U n i o n s started
f rom The V a l e and t i d d l y w i n k e d
u p K i n g ' s R o a d t o S l o a n e
Square. T h i s represented a break
f rom t r a d i t i o n , as u n t i l this year
t i d d l y w i n k i n g has always taken
place a l ong O x f o r d Street, but
after warnings f r o m police a n d
s o m e t r o u b l e o v e r c o l l e c t i n g
licences the event was twice put
of f a n d a new venue f ound .
I n k e e p i n g w i t h t r a d i t i o n ,
however, the contingent f rom
t h e R o y a l S c h o o l o f M i n e s
w i n k e d t h e i r t i d d l e s s i n g l e -
minded ly d o w n the middle o f the
r o a d , while the more cautious
members o f C & G and R C S used
the pavements. The route took
t h e m p a s t C h e l s e a C o l l e g e ,
w h i c h w a s e x p e c t e d t o be
regarded by their students as an
infringement o n their terr i tory ;
but there was no visible reaction
f r o m w i t h i n . F u r t h e r m o r e ,
pol ice presence 'was l imi ted to a
discreet inspector, two sergeants
and three constables w h o raised
no legal objections unt i l Sloane
S q u a r e was r e a c h e d . A t t h i s
po int the students were asked
n o t to p r o p e l t h e i r c o u n t e r s
across the pedestrian crossings,
as they had already caused a
certain amount o f traffic c o n
gestion.
The event drew to a close with
r i n g - o - r o s e s a r o u n d S l o a n e
S q u a r e . T h e s t u d e n t s t h e n
d e s c e n d e d e n m a s s e o n the
R o y a l C o u r t tavern , where some
customers compla ined o f being
h a r a s s e d b y o v e r - e a g e r c o l
l e c t o r s . R a g C h a i r m a n J o h n
Ferguson has written an apology
Guilds, RCS and HM constabulary were all represented on Saturday.
to the l a n d l o r d on behal f o f the
U n i o n .
Because the money was de
l ivered direct to M E N C A P on
the same day, i n d i v i d u a l totals
f o r the three C C U s are n o t
avai lable .
Insecurity
F o u r bicycles, w i th a n estimated
tota l value o f £600, were s to len
f r o m the Col lege o n Wednesday :
two f r o m i n front o f the Science
M u s e u m L i b r a r y , one from in
front o f M e c h E n g a n d one f r o m
b e h i n d the M i n e s B u i l d i n g s -
were a l l fastened w i t h l ight cha in
or cables w h i c h were cut with a
s m a l l p a i r o f b o l t - c u t t e r s . It
seems l i k e l y t h a t t h e t h i e v e s
carr ied out a t h o r o u g h recon
naissance o f the Col lege before
selecting suitable targets.
N o n e o f the machines h a d
been registered w i t h securi ty ; all
students wi th bicycles who have
not yet done so are asked to go
to the security officer o n level
one o f the Sher f ie ld B u i l d i n g
w i t h details o f the f rame number ,
make and co lour o f their bicycle .
Small Ads •Personal computer ZX81 16K Ram-
pak and printer, £100 ono. Contact Deborah Prince, Zoology PG. •1 Radiomobile car radio, manual tuning, £12.50, good working order, ring 582-6773 (eves 6:00-8:00). •Honda Camino moped, T reg with indicators and top-box, years MoT and tax, excellent condition, £135, phone 648-4737.
• Pioneer stereo turntable, semi automatic with strobe, as new, inc cartridge, only £45. Contact W Steen, ME3 or ring 736-5526.
•2 man ridge lent, 8 wks old, £25ono. Contact Fraser Simpson int 3655 or RSM letter-rack.
•Ladies bike 26" wheels, £25, D E King, Mech Eng UG3.
•Rega R100 cartridge, £15, apply Nick Hunt, Mech Eng 3.
•Bootleg tapes (early punk): HGFs, N ismoids , Thermburns , etc, S W Nield, Aero 2.
• A n y o n e wishing to sell a judogi
contact G Shields, EE2 with size and cost. Ta!
• Wanted: Ed inburgh Fr inge T o u r Manager for Dramsoc. Your chance to beat cable TV in bringing art to the masses. Come to the Green Comm Rm at 7:00pm on Tuesday October 26, or to the Storeroom any time.
•Are you an athlete? (S)training on your own? If so we meet 12:30, Thursdays in gymnasium, or contact R Flynn, Physics 2. •Cou ld the PG who has had a year's dancing at York and who was goig to come to the lesson last Monday but didn't, please come to this Mondays lesson to contact Rebecca May or through Physics 3 letter-racks. •Dear Naunton can I borrow your pink ballet shoes and swan outfit, love the Green Hippo.
•Tours of the Donatello Collection in the Vanda (very nice in tomatoe sauce)? Contact the Italian Renisance Art Soc c/o Queintin Fontana FK.
•Kawasaki Z200, 1978, 12,100 miles, 12mths, M o T and tax, vgc, £175 . Contact M Nobel, Pet Geol or ext 2156.
•Physics Wanderers challenge anyone for matches on Sundays. We have a pitch. Contact D Warner via Physics letter-racks, PWRUA1.
• D o u b l e r o o m , flat 21b Hamlet Gardens, apply singley or as pair, 741-7095 or contact Helen Bolt via Civ Eng letter-racks.
•Young lady required to share flat (Head Tenancy) in Shepherd's Bush (non-smoker), please contact Caroline Low, Chem 3 pigeonholes. •Single room to let in flat for two in SW12, centra l hea t ing , l o u n g e , kitchen and bath, £23pw. Bing L Hui, Man Sci (MSc) thru letter racks. •Two people needed to share double room in flat in Putney, nearest tube: Putney Bridge, attractions: telephone,
deep freeze, two TVs (one colour with teletext), video, large garden, kitchen, bathroom, nice district and millions of shops within spitting distance, rent £22pw, 4 Burstock Road, SW15, phone 785-6952.
•Shared room to let for male student, 12mins walk from IC in Gledhow Gdns, fully furnished, sharing with ex-IC student and one other in basement flat, £110pcm.
•Flatshare for one male in 204 Hamlet Gardens, rent £18.50pw. Flat includes lounge with colour TV, two bathrooms and washing machine. Contact M Tyrrell, Chem Eng 2 or ring 748-7503.
•Gir l required to share flat for eight in Hamlet Gardens, large double room overlooking Ravenscourt Park, rent £17pw. Contact Helena Branwell, Biochem 2 or ring 728-3291 and ask for flat 207.
• For sale: Five tickets for Ju l io Iglesias concert at Albert Hall on Wed Oct 27, £1 .50 each. Contact Paul McNamara, Mech Eng 2. •Gir l required to share double room with Julio Iglesias on Wed Oct 27. For further details contact Albert Hall, Mech Eng 2 or phone 327-4891 and ask for 'H'.
•Part-time job evening/day, £2 per hour, for details ring Debbie, 278-0891.
• T o whom it may concern: Thank you for returning my wallet. Jane Glasco-dine.
•Found at Willis Jackson House Party last Friday, one pair of ladies red heels. Contact Gerard Livett, Chem 2.
• Neil: Thanks for the honourable mentin. Pity you're such a prick. Or
was it Matt ?
•Nicola C I admit it was me all along J
W. PS: no moping or groping.
•Covent Garden Tragedy performances: Holland Club Thurs Oct 28; Southside Bar Fri Oct 29. An evening in an eighteenth century brothel, with Dramsoc's Edinburgh Fringe production.
• T o all British Council Sponsored Students:
Please could you take your British Council health card to the Health Centre before the end of October.
• F o u n d in the J C R : Unpleasant b rown, ye l low and b lue h o o p e d sweater, please collect A M P , Chem 3. • R S M : Many thanks to those who attended the tiddlywinks in the drizzle on Saturday.
A quick note of some things to come: Met & Mat Sci Freshers' Dinner, 7:00pm, Fri Oct 22, meet Union Bar; Paint Your Face Disco, 8:30pm. Sat Oct 23, JCR; Min Res Eng Freshers' Dinner, Fri Oct 29, meet Union Bar. •Bike Club meet for their regular Sunday run at 10:00am, Beit Arch. We'll be doing 40-50 miles into some nice countryside (and a nice nosh-house half-way). Anyone welcome (you can join there!). •Welfare Officer is available in the Union Office 12:45-1:30, Monday, Tuesdays and Thursdays for almost anything!
•Want to learn to fly? Then come along to the Gliding Club, meetings in Aero 254, every Thursday at 5:30pm.
FELIX lOctober 22, 1982 P a g e 3
Letters
continued from page 2.
b a t t l e s b e t w e e n the v a r i o u s
sectarian societies in Col lege as
they attempt to have each other
removed f rom the U n i o n ' s list o f
' approve i l advertisers ' .
Yours
M i c h a e l M a c C l a n c y
Wel l soc C h a i r m a n
P S : W h o said the figure wi th the
h a n d on the z ipper was a man?
News Reporting Dear Martin
Off ic ia ls f r o m several societies
have c o m p l a i n e d recently that
c e r t a i n n e w s a r t i c l e s h a v e
inc luded too l i t t l e / t o o m u c h /
i n c o r r e c t / t o o e m b a r r a s i n g l y
correct i n f o r m a t i o n about their
act ivit ies , while they have taken
no measures to supply F E L I X
wi th i n f o r m a t i o n . Whereas I can
s o m e t i m e s c o n t a c t s o c i e t y
o f f i c i a l s w h o h a v e i n t e r n a l
t e l e p h o n e s , f i n d i n g u n d e r
graduates on a T h u r s d a y after
n o o n when there are six other
news stories to write up is just
not possible .
C o n t r a r y to p o p u l a r b e l i e f
a n d established precedent, we do
try to pr int news as accurately as
possible. In the case o f the W I S T
article o f a fortnight ago, my
i n f o r m a t i o n was s u p p l i e d by
W e l l s o c (a v e r y p u b l i c i t y -
c o n s c i o u s o r g a n i s a t i o n ) a n d
f r o m t h a t b o t t o m l e s s p i t ( o f
in format ion ) the U n i o n Off ice ,
in the absence o f any attempt by
M e s d e m o i s e l l e s N a h o n a n d
Watts to contact me.
H e n c e f o r t h , any compla ints
f r o m s o c i e t i e s w h i c h h a v e
per formed some vaguely news
worthy feat and made no attempt
to supply us with i n f o r m a t i o n
w i l l be s t u d i o u s l y i g n o r e d .
A n y o n e w h o believes that it is a
reporter 's funct ion to seek out
i n f o r m a t i o n shou ld apply to the
F E L I X O f f i c e f o r t h e j o b
(people w h o have had to look up
more than three words in this
letter need not apply) . U n t i l I
have a news staff o f more than
two people (wi l l they breed in
captivity?) you w i l l have to put
up with what 1 write.
Your raving reporter
A d r i a n James
News E d i t o r
R C S Thuggery Dear Sir
W e have reason to c o m p l a i n
o f the R C S U lackeys and minions
w h o organised the Ch e mi s t r y
Freshers ' D i n n e r on Tuesday
October 19.
I , a n d t h r e e f r i e n d s , were
h o l d i n g a conversat ion in an
isolated part o f the J C R — a w a y
f rom the ' a c t i o n ' — w h e n we were
a p p r o a c h e d by M r C h a r l e s
F u l l e r , R C S H o n Sec, and to ld ,
n a y o r d e r e d , t o l e a v e t h e
premises. O n our reluctance to
c o m p l y — d u e to our rights to
remain in the J C R under U n i o n
r u l e s — C h a s brought over his
'heavies ' and threatened us with
violence, te l l ing us l o ' F u c k O f f
and i f we d i d not leave we w o u l d
be f o r c i b l y e jec ted f r o m the
r o o m .
We began to leave peacefully
but harassment cont inued and
m y t h r e e c o l l e a g u e s a c t u a l l y
pushed through the doors .
We believe that this behaviour
was unjusti f ied and offensive.
E v e n o n e o f the ' b o u n c e r s '
admit ted that we had the right to
be there but he wanted a pint so
we had to get out.
We d e m a n d a printed apology
and a c ommitmen t that this w i l l
never happen to us or any other
students again .
Yours sincerely
J o n C l a r k
C Burgess
Robert Reynolds
Pau l G r i f f i n
Glass-handed
Dear Sir
O K I let M a r k S m i t h get away
wi th it once but now he has
repeated his error . The classic
Outer Limits episode ' F i e n d with
a G lass H a n d ' by Ray B r a d b u r y
does not exist. The classic Outer
Limits episode ' D e m o n wi th a
Glass H a n d ' by H a r l a n E l l i s o n
does. T h i s was the episode about
an a n d r o i d , Trent , who had to
save the e n t i r e h u m a n r a c e ,
stored on a bit of fuse-wire in his
h a n d , f rom a m a r a u d i n g gang of
th ird rate actors wearing black
balac lava helmets. It is a classic
because it is the only episode not
featuring an alien with a head
like a melon .
I always preferred The Twilight
Zone series.
Yours
R o y G r a i n g e r
Phil Nathan—
the true facts
revealed
Dear Martin
W i t h reference to your editor
ial in last week's F E L I X con
d e m n i n g my so-called ' h y p o
cr isy ' , here are a few facts which
I feel 'deserve a wider audience ' .
1. T h e ' w o n d e r f u l ' l e t t e r
which you quote f rom the R C S U
Broadsheet as written by Debb ie
C o o p e r , was, so 1 have been
i n f o r m e d , not actual ly written
by her, nor d i d she k n o w that
any such article was go ing to be
i n c l u d e d i n B r o a d s h e e t . It
appears that the letter was a
f a b r i c a t i o n — a forgery.
2. The contents o f the letter
are s imply not true, ie they are
either lies or the result o f some
immense mistake on the au ' hor 's
part . I in no way encouaged Ms
Debbie C o o p e r to dress up in
" n o t h i n g but a sweatshirt and
u n der w ear " . I was not present
when it took place and d i d not
Phil Nathan:
Sexist stocking filler?
f ind out that this had happened
unti l a l ter the event.
F o l l o w i n g your ' s t rong c o n
d e m n a t i o n ' o f my hypocrisy and
y o u r a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h e
m o t i o n on the Jez Queen at the
R C S Freshers ' U G M . I realise
how much the above wi l l d is
appoint y o u ; but there you go.
T h e r e c a n be n o e x c u s e f o r
p r i n t i n g l i b e l l o u s s t a t e m e n t s
however reliable the source, and
a little bit more care w i l l earn
F E L I X m u c h greater respect.
Yours 'hippo'-critically
P h i l i p B N a t h a n
B i o c h e m 3
Dear Sir
P h i l N a t h a n is not a hypocr i te
as you c la im in your ed i tor ia l .
D e b C o o p e r d i d not write a letter
i n B r o a d s h e e t c l a i m i n g P h i l
e n c o u r a g e d h e r t o a d v e r t i s e
sweatshirts by parad ing herself
in no th ing but a sweatshirt and
underwear , someone else d i d .
The truth is that I and Debb ie
b o t h d e c i d e d t o m o d e l the
sweatshirts (we both paraded in
s w e a t s h i r t s a n d ' u n d e r w e a r ' )
and we d idn ' t tell P h i l t i l l later.
Y o u r ed i tor ia l has unwit t ing ly
played into the hands o f those in
R C S w h o w o u l d discredit P h i l
N a t h a n and his (and others in
L i f e S c i ' a t t e m p t to c h a n g e
R C S U to a form more desirable
to its members , and the crude
a n d d i r ty tactics they employ .
P h i l N a t h a n r e m a i n s a most
respected ex -L i f e Sci D e p Rep
amongst L i fe Scientists if not the
rest o f the Co l l ege , many of us
f ind his attempts to change R C S
from wi th in laudable and sincere
if perhaps in v a i n .
G e o f f Evans
L S 2 Soc Rep
Since I had checked the
facts with Debbie before I
wrote the Editorial, I felt
it only fair to allow her
the right of reply -Ed.
Dear Martin
H a v i n g read the letters for
F E L I X this week I w o u l d l ike to
comment further on one or two
points :
1. T h e letter in Broadsheet
though not personal ly penned
was written under my instruct ion
and on info received f rom me. I
certainly had knowledge o f its
inc lus ion in Broadsheet before
Broadsheet was produced .
2. I r e p e a t t h a t P h i l h a d
knowledge o f this ' m o d e l l i n g ' o f
L i f e S c i T - s h i r t s b e f o r e i t
occured ( though the idea was
p r i n c i p a l l y G e o f f s ) a n d P h i l
suggested we might l ike to repeat
the per formance for L i f e Sc i 2!
Therefore , apparent ly condoned
the idea.
3. P r i n c i p a l l y t h i s was not
intended as a personal d i g at
P h i l ' s p o l i t i c s , m e r e l y h i s
irresponsible attitude by put t ing
f o rward such a m o t i o n at the
Freshers ' U G M .
Debbie C o o p e r
L i f e Sc i 2
Page 4 October 22, 1982 IFELIX
News Reporting
I've moaned about this before
(as have editors since F E L I X
was conceived) but so much
criticism is flying at the moment
that I'd like to straighten out a
few points, particularly in view
of the letter from Adrian James,
my news editor, which is printed
opposite.
News editing is probably the
most difficult job on the staff of
F E L I X . T o s top the news
sounding stale, almost all the
research and all the writing has
to be done on W e d n e s d a y
afternoon (when undergraduates
are next to impossible to con
tact), and then the sub-editing,
typesetting, past ing -up a n d
printing are all done in one mad
rush on Thursday.
Secondly, people often exag
gerate the facts (you should have
heard the R C S U version of the
mascotry raid and compared it
with Guilds'; I scarcely believed
they were telling me about the
same event!) or tell deliberate
untruths. We do try our best to
present the facts as they happen,
but the news editor is less than
omnipresent and we have to rely
on oral reports from members of
College who (and here's the rub)
are p r e p a r e d to p h o n e the
F E L I X Office and tell us the
news.
Thirdly, an enormous amount
of news is 'of a sensitive nature'.
In five issues of F E L I X so far
produced, including two post
graduate issues, there have been
f o u r s t o r i e s w h i c h I h a v e
withheld at the request of the
various people involved, and a
further one which perhaps I
would have withheld had I
EDITORIAL received enough information in
time. But it isn't possible even to
seek out all the people who
know the facts about a story, let
alone find all those likely to
know some reason why it should
not be printed; and, apart from
this, people must take responsi
bility for their decisions and
actions, and if they do or say
something in public which they
later regret, am I to be blamed
for reporting it in a way which
brings out the features of their
actions which have mass appeal?
The news pages are supposed to
be interesting; after all.
D o I need to spell out the
conclusion of this outburst? We
need more news staff. Anyone
who has any aspirations at all in
this direction, be it interviewing,
researching, writing or whatever,
should come and find either me
or Adrian in the F E L I X Office,
preferably on Fridays or M o n
days to introduce yourself, or on
Wednesday afternoons to work.
Also, we need news. If anything
of interest, however" s l ight ,
h a p p e n s in y o u r l a b , y o u r
lectures, your committee, your
C C U or whatever, we need to
hear about it. A n d finally, the
responsibility for what I publish
rests with me. The responsibility
for y o u r words and deeds,
reported accurately in F E L I X ,
rests with you.
F E L I X Staff
New reporting aside, we are still
very short-staffed on F E L I X ,
and will welcome anyone who is
prepared to give up some time,
however irregularly, to help
produce this newspaper. N o
previous experience is necessary
(in the case of collating it's not
even desirable) as we will teach
' you all the various skills involv
ed in graphics work, layout,
design, or whatever turns you
on, as they say. We particularly,
u r g e n t l y , d e s p e r a t e l y need
people to help on Thursdays
between 2:30 and 5:30pm when
the paper is finally put to bed,
but most of the regular staff
have lectures, practicals, and so
forth. If anyone is even remotely
interested, come to the F E L I X
Office anytime today or early
next week and introduce your
self.
We a lso need c o l l a t o r s .
Collating consists of slipping the
folded sheets of F E L I X inside
one another and needs no skill
w h a t s o e v e r ( e v e n S t e p h e n
G o u l d e r has been known to
help.) Just turn up on Thursday
evening and join in the convivial
social atmosphere, and help the
other staff members calm the
Editor as the folding machine
breaks down yet again. Collating
usually starts at around 7:30pm
and goes on late, but come for as
much or as little as you like.
U G M
Although you might not have
guessed it from the appalling
lack of publicity, there is an
important Union General Meet
ing next Tuesday at 1:00pm in
the Great Hall . At this meeting,
the v a r i o u s c a n d i d a t e s for
Deputy President of the Union
will make their hustings speech
es, so come along and find out
who you want to administer
your finances next year.
IF and R C M
If anyone from the Institut
Franpais or the Xoyal College of
Music would like to act as a
semi-official representative of
their respective college on the
staff of F E L I X (even if all they
do is collect a bundle of copies
every Friday,) would they please
get in touch.
Impossible Without
Lee Paddon, Mark Smith, Nick
Bedding and Nick Willson for
r e v i e w s , T i m N o y c e , Peter
Rodgers, Dave Rowe for pasting
up and generally being helpful,
Hugh Southey for What's O n ,
P i n o c c h i o a n d W a l k a b o u t -
Looksee for their respective
columns, Carol ine Foers for
offering to do anything within
reason (!), Adrian James f o r the
news, Dave W Parry for photo
graphs, Chr is M a l l a b a n d f o r
sport, Nick Pyne for the centre
spread, Maz, Peter, and anyone
I've forgotten in the rush.
Martin S Taylor
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 l " —̂—(
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
t=3, 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 t=3, M A R Y F R E E M A N may be one
of the most hardworking Honor
ary Secretaries the Union has
seen in recent years, but she is
not, it has to be said, one of the
most wildly popular. Whether it
is her insistence on sticking to
every minutest tittle of the
statute book (not in itself a bad
thing) or the curious stony-faced
expression she wears as she
quotes verbatim long extracts
from Union regulations Idon't
know, but nevertheless she is
becoming rather disliked by
several members of the Union,
and it was a close-run thing
when she was ill last week and
Council agreed to send her a Get
Well Soon card by fourteen
votes to twelve with three
abstentions.
One of the Honorary Secre
tary's jobs is the allocation of
parking permits, and it was
brought to my attention that
some malicious wit had sub
mitted an application in the
name of a fictitious student;
furthermore, this student had
been deemed worthy of a much-
coveted permit. After a little
research I managed to track
down the application in quest
ion, and feel it is worth reprod
ucing in full:
T am devout muslim and I have
come to college because there is
mosque on the College premises.
As for this I have to stay in
College in evening to pray before
I go away to home. So I have to
bring my prayer carpet into
College and it cannot go on the
i i i i i i •J-4.CCOICC 111 I I l"~l~l~|~
I I I I I I I
~ i ~ C i ~ i ~ i ~ r l _ J _ l I I I I I I I L I I I I I
• j j i i i i r i T i T r f i • i i i i i
i i i i i i i i " i j ~ i ~ r i ~ i - i " i ~ r j ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i " i ~ i ~ r ~i i p i —t i — i t i —
i i i i • i i
i i i i
~ r , i ~ r r
FELIX I October
train I am told this is so. My
unc le P a t r i c k who l ives in
Manchester pays for me and I do
not get money to travel publicly.
There is no money out of Iran
which I can lay my handes on.
But the most important reason I
think is that I have a chronic
sufferer. I have a disease called
Bilharzia which attacks. So I
have to get to College quickly. I
was lucky to get from Tehran
and if I cannot stay at College I
may be sent home so I pray to
the holy Imam and Allah my
Light and Savioiur that you will
grant this simple wish. May the
holy Allah be blessing you with
many children.'
F U N N Y H O W the practical
jokers, the rumour-spreaders,
the gossip columnists of this
world find it so difficult to
swallow a taste of their own
medicine. In last week's column
22,1982
I r e l a t e d s e v e r a l less t h a n
complimentary tales concerning
ex-Editor Steve Marshall. This
week I found him supposedly
working in the F E L I X Office on
his own. Being naturally curious,
and wondering what had in
duced him to lend his talents so
generously, I took a look at the
page he was working on, and
discovered, to no great surprise,
that he had been switching
round the signatures o n the
Letters to the Editor.
IT H A S almost become tradit
ional to criticise Victor Mooney
in this newspaper; how refresh
ing,' then, that his first mention
in this column is to commend
him for his humility last Satur
day when, in the absence of three
of his staff, he tied an apron
round his ample girth and spent
most of the afternoon washing
up.
|Poge5
Feast of Terror Danton's Death by Georg Biichner, in a version by Howard Brenton. Directed by Peter GUI, the Olivier, National Theatre.
T h e t u m u l t u o u s e v e n t s o c c u r r i n g in
revolutionary France in the year 1794 provide
the setting for Buchner 's Danton's Death. The
period of 'The Terror ' , when the guillotine
se ldom stood idle, provides a very fertile
ground for Buchner 's penetrating observation
of two opposing forces of man.
The two central characters are Danton
(p layed by B r i a n C o x ) a n d R o b e s p i e r r e
(excellently portrayed by T o m Georgesonk as
a very sinister character). Danton is a one-time
national hero who stands for freedom and
sensuality, but whose passivity against the
sweeping tide of the revolution hastens his
death at the hands of Robespierre. The latter
personality, who led the revolution at the time,
represents virtue and social order . B u t a
knowledge of the French Revolution is not
r e q u i r e d to a p p r e c i a t e B u c h n e r ' s s u p e r b
analysis of two opposing ideologies, attitudes
to life and personalities. The work is profound
and cooly analytic, turning over all kinds of
philosophical stones, but the epic drama an
a l m o s t s c i e n t i f i c o b j e c t i v i t y . T h e p l a y
r e p r e s e n t s qu i te a n i n t e l l e c t u a l feast , but
above all the National Theatre production is
very successful at sowing the seed of doubt.
O n e finds oneself quest ioning dearly held
beliefs, and in this respect the play is one of the
most disturbing one is likely to come across in
WALKABOUT-
LOOKS EC �� ������ ��� Inc.
Getting There
T h i s w e e k ' s o u t i n g i n v o l v e s a b i t m o r e
walkabout than the last one: the Tate Gallery,
Mil lbank. In true Brit ish style, as you emerge
from the tube station there are several well-
meaning signposts to the Tate, but the area is
currently full of roadworks and after a couple
of hundred yeards the useful signposts are
r e p l a c e d by b r i g h t y e l l o w o n e s s a y i n g
' D i v e r t e d T r a f f i c ' . . . n o m e n t i o n o f t h e
whereabouts of the Gallery. So I've drawn a
sketch map; it's about a three minute walk.
. The Tate houses a British Col lect ion of
works from the sixteenth century to around
1900 and the National Col lect ion of Modern
A r t : this consists of works by British artists
born after 1850, and of foreign works from
the Impressionists onwards.
T h e G a l l e r y a lso o rgan i ses t e m p o r a r y
e x h i b i t i o n s , b o t h major ones a n d s m a l l e r
displays. I went along this week to see two of
the small exhibitons.
Howard Hodgkin's Indian Leaves
These were made by Howard Hodgkin whilst
he was staying in Ahmedabad in November
1978. Every day he received leaves of specially
handmade paper, still wet from the factory, on
which he painted before they dried. The paints
used were the traditional vegetable dyes used
to coloukr Indian textiles: he asked for a
Mughal red, Indian ochre, as many different
greens as possible and so on. His 'Indian
Leaves ' have a tropical richness and intensity
of colour that convey most vividly the hot,
steamy-jungle atmosphere and the dust and
brightness of smarkets and fruits.
Each image is painted in two versions: they
REVIEWSLondon at the present time.
The play is all the more remarkable in that it
was written in 1835 when the author was a
m e r e t w e n t y - o n e - y e a r s - o l d . B u c h n e r is
perhaps more famous for his Woyzeck, but
Danton's Death shows not traces of its being
hastily written, composed as it was under great
pressure in less than five weeks (while he was
under close police surveillance for his political
activities).
M a n y of the cast have come straight from
the production of The Prince of Homburg by
von Kleist at the Cottesloe Theatre. Buchner
and von Kleist show remarkable similarities;
both had a scientific training, both wrote their
works when they were very young, and both
their style sare analytic and objective but
intensely dramatic. For those of you who ahve
seen The Prince (it is now finished), Danton's
Death makes an interesting comparison.
N i c k Bedding
picn/wiu A C C E P T ^ •Wt MARKET fftCfc 7 r
fdi. YooR. IAB90R, HHPCowUiNEtW
are hung as pairs. Variations are due to the
state of drying of the paper and the fact that
paper dried so rapidly in the heat of India,
decisions about composition and colouring
had to be taken almost instantly and there was
no time for reinterpretation between the two
versions. Another effect of working with wet
paper is that the dyes actually penetrate the
paper. They do not all mix equally well, giving
outlines either sharp or fuzzy and a surface
finish which shines like lacquer or is softly
matt. It's a fascinating process and the end
product is most evocative in India.
Prints in Gallery 61
T h e fifty-five pr in ts and w o r k s on paper
showing in Gallery 61 were mostly acquired by
the Tate in the last two years.
T h e w o r d ' p r i n t ' is a m u d d l i n g o n e
embracing anything from the pattern on a
piece of cloth, to the cheap copy of a V a n
G o g h painting. In this context it applies to the
g r a p h i c p r o c e s s e s of l i t h o g r a p h y , rel ief - ,
intaglio-, and screen-print ing. Rather than
painting directly on canvas or paper, the artist
first makes a 'tool ' and then uses it to produce
an 'edition' of identical impressions.
Seventeen different artists are represented,
and as many different approaches to 'art' .
What is the most minimal visual information
House of Wax Certificate AA, starring Vincent Price, Phyllis Kirk, now showing exclusively at ABC Fulham Road.
Following the unexpected success of Comin
at Ya (a rather poor Western) in Amer i ca ,
there has been a recent revival in 3-D films.
Not only are Jaws 3 and possibly Halloween 3
being filmed in the process, but also Friday the
13th, part 3 which has already opened in
Amer i ca .
O n the tail of the surge Warners have wisely
decided to revive the earliest and perhaps best
k n o w n 3 -D f i lm House of Wax ( w h i c h
catapulted Vincent Price to stardom in 1953).
Filmed in 'Natural Vis ion ' and 'WarnerColor ' it
is a beautiful and strangely atmospheric horror
film, which contains a few genuine shocks and
uses the process fairly effectively.
Vincent Price (in a part he has constantly
reprised during his career) plays Henry Jarrod ,
a brilliant wax sculptor who idolises his artistic
creations and resists his partner's attempts to
start a C h a m b e r of H o r r o r s . W h e n sa id
p a r t n e r b u r n s d o w n t h e i r u n s u c c e s s f u l
business for the insurance Jarrod disappears
and is presumed to be dead. The scene is set
A sample from Further Down on Maggie's
Farm by Steve Bell (Penguin £2.95). These two
frames are from the Adventures of L o r d G o d
Almighty, who joins Steve's other victims (the
government, Freddie Laker , the S D P , etc, etc)
in another of his very funny cartoon books.
necessary to define a work of art? This is the
question answered by Sol LeWitt ' s 'Lines in
Four Directions' and by the series of distorted
squares within circles of Robert Mangold: his is
a f a s c i n a t i n g e x p e r i m e n t in see ing v e r s u s
perceiving.
O t h e r w o r k s c o n c e r n n o t p e r c e p t u a l
abstraction but images grown from figures and
identifiable objects. Eduardo Paolozz'i's Heads
are delimited by struts and scaffolding. Their
internal workings are those of robots or space
stations and bear no relation to a dissection
class.
A n d some works are just plain witty. In
'Farm Animals ' , Marce l Broodthaers has given
county-show-specimens of cattle the names of
B M W , M e r c e d e s , e tc ! A t ongue - in - cheek
manipulation of the literal meaning we attach
to brand images created in glossy ads.
This little exhibition will appeal to anyone
with a visual sense of humour.
Where, when £?
B o t h exhibit ions are at the Tate G a l l e r y ,
Mil lbank, open Mon-Sat 10:00am-5:50pm, Sun
2:00-5:50pm. Howard Hodgkin's Indian Leaves
until N o v 7. Prints and W o r k s on Paper until
N o v 21. Both are free.
P o g e 6 | | O c t o b e r 2 2 , �� �� |
'Mango' (1978), one of a pair from 'Indian
Leaves'.
H n B B H B M H H H H H I I H P E U X
All it takes is a twist: Michael Caine explains to Christopher
Reeve how to escape from Houdini's handcuffs.
for his revenge and finally his grisly end.
The story (a cheeky rework of Phantom at
the Opera) stands up well as a period piece
and is hugely enjoyable as such. Price 's tones
are suitably Shakespearian and Phyllis K i rk
scurries away from the mysterious figure in
black with commendable haste, but melodrama
occasionally degenerates into farce. O n the
whole the film is a remarkable achievement—
even more so considering that the director was
blind in one eye and could never appreciate
the 3-D process itself.
This process is used well (especially when a
streetcaller advertising the waxworks bats
elasticated balls into the audience) and is more
effective than later efforts such as Parasite or
Dynasty. A s it is filmed in 'color' (sorry!) it also
beats other 3-D favourites like It Came From
Outer Space.
If you've never seen a 3-D film, then this is
the one to try. But a word of advice. The
exclusive presentation at A B C Fulham Road
means that seats tend to sell quickly, so book
in advance (especially at weekends).
Mark Smith
Deathtrap, featuring Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve.
When Ira Levin's stage play Deathtrap was
first produced in the West E n d it was widely
criticised as a blatant attempt to write another
Sleuth: an ingenious thriller with two acts, one
set, and five characters. The accusation could
never be denied, but this was no reason to
r e j e c t t h e p l a y as w o r t h l e s s , a n d i t s
subsequent record-breaking run proved this.
The film version demonstrates another facet of
Levin's play which it shares with Sleuth: it
doesn't work too well on the big screen.
There are several reasons for this. Primarily,
one of the main features of the plot is that
Sidney Bruhl (Michael Caine) is a playwright
working on a play called Deathtrap, which is in
two acts, one set, five characters, etc, and as
the story unfolds it becomes clear that the play
he is writing (within the play) is not only based
on a murder which has taken place in his own
house (ie the play Bruhl is writing is based on
Bruhl 's experiences) but at a different 'meta-
level' he is writing the Ira Levin play Deathtrap
i n w h i c h he is on ly one of the f i c t i t i ous
characters. Confused? Y o u won't be in the
film, because this element is partly missing.
Couldn't it have been rewritten to make Bruhl
a film director?
A s I mentioned, Deathtrap is a one set play,
and so when it is staged, every part of Sidney
Bruhl 's living room is continuously on view,
and so the audience becomes obsessed with
Bruhl 's impressively displayed collection of
weaponry, and when characters in turn reach
for gun or knife or whatever, there is a definite
thrill as you realise ' M y G o d , he's actually
going to use that thing.' In the film we are only
given occasional glimpses of the weapons
(since the camera is naturally focussed on the
acto'rs for most of the time) and so the effect is
considerably weakened.
M y final criticism is that the big surprises
d o n ' t w o r k , n o t a b l y o n e v e r y d r a m a t i c
entrance which is one of the most effective
shocks I have experienced in the theatre; in
the cinema it just isn't possible to startle an
audience in the same way merely by the
entrance of one character; cinema audiences
are used to so much more.
O n the credit side, special effects make
murder rather more effective than on stage
the director has taken the opportunity to wri (
in a chase around the home, and rhi ra
weak original ending has been completely
rewritten to allow one final twist Wnn c >uld
never be effectively portrayed on siuge. More
than this cannot '•„. - • d without revealing
FELIX • • • • • • • • B H H H I B B 9 I
details of the plot!
Conclusion? Despite the film's weaknesses,
the strength of the plot holds up, and it is
worth a visit if you missed the play. If, like me,
you saw the play, you'll know just what's
coming and will find the film something of a
letdown.
Martin S Taylor
Plague of
Graffitti Plague Dogs; Fast Times
Ever since Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin, man's best
friend has often been made the heroic subject
of a film, but rarely so poignantly as in Plague
Dogs, which has just opened at the Odeon
Haymarket . Richard Adams has recently fallen
out with the powers that be at the R S P C A , and
resigned as President because the hierarchy
weren't prepared to put a few noses out of
j o i n t o v e r a n i m a l r e s e a r c h . T h i s l a t e s t
adaptation of one of his books firmly puts his
case.
A n y o n e w h o saw Watership Down w i l l
recognise the animation style; Richard Adams
has brought together the same team once
again, and the result is a very polished style of
animation, with the bonus of an all-star cast
i n c l u d i n g J o h n H u r t a n d J a m e s B o l a m
providing the voices and the perennial Percy
Edwards for the sound effects; and we are
s p a r e d A r t G a r f u n k e l w a r b l i n g o n the
soundtrack.
O u r canine heroes escape from trie mental
a n d p h y s i c a l t o r t u r e of t h e r e s e a r c h
establishment and quickly have to come to
terms with life in the wild, living off livestock,
attracting the unfriendly attention of the local
farmers, until a rumour circulates that the
dogs may be infected with bubonic plague,
which was the subject of a top secret M o D
project at the lab.
A likeable, affectionate, if rather downbeat
film, which I'm sure' will be enjoyed by those
who liked Watership Down, so when your
unspeakable ten-year-old cousins are dumped
on you this Christmas, there are many worse
ways to keep them quiet for an afternoon. I'd
like to think that it would stimulate public
debate into animal research and vivisection,
but !': is almost too nice for this crusading tag.
My other f i lms theme isn't cruelty, unless
it's cruelty to the reviewer. If it wasn't for the
jolly nice seats in the review cinema and a
misplaced sense of duty to you, dear reader,
H H H B H October 22 , 1982 WKBBBBM
I'd have joined the rush for the door during
A m y Heckerling's Fast 1 Times which has just
opened at the Plaza, Leicester Square.
There have been innumerable attempts by
the cinema industry to reproduce the success
of American Graffitti but all have failed for
various reasons. This latest offering is an
adaptation of a book by C a m e r o n C r o w e who
claims to have attempted a piece of serious
sociological research into the modern teenage
culture by going back to high school 'under
cover' to observe his subject in its natural
habitat (I wonder if anyone spotted him).
What emerges is the usual self-indulgent
'boy did you ever miss out' view of adolescence.
'The Kids ' are precocious, promiscuous, and
provocative while at the same time vulnerable
and misunderstood. Are all American kids like
that? If so I'm glad I spent my formative years
this side of the Atlantic.
Where the film fails in comparison with •
American Graffitti is that the characters are
too thin; it fails to concentrate on a small group
of people, trying instead to explain the many
motivations and fantasies of its stereotypes as
it ridicules and dissects them. The warmth and
sympathy which worked so well in Graffitti is
somehow missing here and the soundtrack is a
rather mixed bunch of instantly forgettable
A m e r i c a n r o c k tunes r a t h e r t h a n d r i v i n g
rhythms.
The X certificate this film has attracted
because of the amount of time devoted to the
examination of Jennifer Jason Leigh's rather
non-descript figure, must somewhat lessen its
appeal, since it excludes those most likely to
identify with the central characters. But , those
of you who enjoyed Porkys will probcibly lap it
up.
Lee Paddon
IICU COUNCILI F E L I X proudly presents the:
Bluffers Guide to
IC Union To the uninitiated, the Union may appear to be nothing more than a
meeting place for hacks, a chance for self-glorification for a few
pompous individuals. The truth is somewhat different: much of the work
of the Union is concerned with the day-to-day administration of all the
clubs and societies and such 'hidden extras' as academic and social
welfare. Since there is often considerable misunderstanding or just
plain bewilderment about the various committees, Nick Pyne has set out
a brief account of how they function, their membership,'their
responsibilities, and some of their failings.
Union General
Meetings This is the sovereign body of the Union, and
can dictate policy to any Union committee.
U G M s are infrequent, and usually bogged
down in proceedure, so a smaller body exists
to fulfil this function in mundane matters—
the Union Council,
Union Council IC Union Council, 1' which consists of the
people whose mug shots you see here, has a
similar raison d'etre to U G M s . The idea is to
have representat ives of the v a r i o u s
viewpoints likely to be prevalent in College
so that a reasonable discussion of any points
of relevance to the Union in general can take
place, and not simply be decided by the
executive.
Council is supposed to meet regularly two
or three times a term to monitor some of the
th ings too m u n d a n e to be
brought to a U G M , as well as to
fill gaps in policy until further
policy can be formed at a U G M .
In practice, Council suffers
from much the same maladies as
does the U G M — p r o c e d u r a l
wrangles abound and towards
the end of the year Council is
rarely quorate. The situation is
aggravated by the fact that most
people know the others present,
and there are usually few there
who are totally sober, so meet
ings tend to d r a g on u n t i l
boredom or inquoracy (or just
occas ional ly there being no
further business) terminates the
meeting.
The Executive
S T E P H E N G O U L D E R
I C U P R E S I D E N T
7 I C U D E P U T Y
P R E S I D E N T
2* � � � Y � � � � � � N
I C U H O N � � � � � � � � Y
S T E P H E N B I S H O P
C I T Y � � D G U I L D S
U N I O N P R E S I D E N T
� ! L S C H M I D T " # $ % L C O L L E G E O F
S C I E N C E U N I O N
P R E S I D E N T
N I G E L & � ' ' S " # $ % L S C H O O L O F
M I N E S U N I O N
P R E S I D E N T
Major Subcommittees
� � � � ( � W T O N K S ) * +B � ( � , � � � N
S o c i e t i e s
Debating
Drama
Jazz
Opera
Film
Music
Choir Orchestra
M I K E P R O S S E R
P U B - . � � D � ( � , � � � N
IC Radio
STOIC
FELIX
The Phoenix
Handbook
Alternative Prospectus
/ 0 1 2 3 4 0N M I L L E R
S C C � ( � , � � � N
S o c i e t i e s
SDP H G Wells
UN Soc S F Soc
Ami-Apartheid
PATA FFF
Amnesty ICNAC
CND Vegsoc
Pimlico Connection
Catholic
Polish
Islam
Christian
Jewish
Chaplaincy-
Methodist
WIST
Industrial
Socialist
Labour
Conservative
Liberal
, � N B U L L C O L I N B U T T U R 5 6C � ( � , � � � N R C C � ( � , � � � N
C l u b s C l u b s
Bowling Badminton Riding Hamsoc
Volleyball Squash Chess Billiards
Karate Tennis Graffltti Mountaineering
Wing Chun Table Tennis Micro Scout and Guide
Sailing Football Model Aircraft Caving
Yacht Hockey- Gliding Surf
Boat Bridge Balloon
Swimming & Water Polo Real Ale Dancing
Angling Cricket Audio Youth Hostelling
Boardsailing Rugby- Canoe Hang Gliding
Cross Country- Judo Photographic War Games Ski Fencing Astrosoc
Cycling Rifle
Sporting Motorcycle
The Executive Because of size (not to mention the incredible tedium and frequent
inquoracy!), neither the Union Council, nor the U G M or available to
formulate Union policy on every point that may arise in the normal
running of IC Union. This task is fulfilled (to a greater or lesser
extent) by the U n i o n Executive Committee. This committee,
consisting of the sabbatical officers (not the F E L I X editor) and the
Constiuent College1 Union Presidents meets roughly weekly (or was it
weakly?) to decide on such points, but when necessary individual
members of the Executive will make decisions without consultation.
Al l members of the Executive are responsible to Union Council and
the U G M on matters concerning IC Union (though many C C U
matters are dealt with internally).
Union Finance
Committee This is independent of Council, and holds
the purse strings for the Union. Its members
are elected by a U G M specifically to sit on
this committee which allocates grants each
year to the various subcommittees and
O S C � ( � , � � � N
S o c i e t i e s
Pakistan
Afro-Caribbean
India
Chinese
Cypriot
Hellenic
Iranian
Latin American
� 7 8 � � W � ( � 9 9 � � D
S I L W O O D 9 � � K
C O M M � ( � , � � � N
Dr Ken Weale ICU Hon Senior Treasurer
C C U s . It also considers extra claims for
funds throughout the year, and generally
monitors the state of the Union's finances.
Other Subcommittees
JIM B O U C H E R
ICU A C A D E M I C
AFFAIRS OFFICER
SIMON R O D A N EXTERNAL AFFAIRS
OFFICER
J O N BARNETT
W E L F A R E OFFICER
J O H N F E R G U S O N
RAG CHAIRMAN
J O H N PASSMORE
POSTGRADUATE
AFFAIRS OFFICER
KEN Y O U N G
ICCAG CHAIRMAN
B Y L L WATERSON ENTERTAINMENTS
OFFICER
NICK H I L L PWP CHAIRMAN
BRIAN SHINDLER
C & G U AAO
H A Z E L C H E E S B R O U G H
R C S U AAO
J A M E S D E V L I N
R S M U AAO
Old Students' Representatives
FRED CANN
RCSA REP
KEN WILKINSON O L D CENTRALIANS
REPRESENTATIVE
P E T E LEWIS
RSMA REP
Subcommittees These are generally classified
into ' M a j o r Sub-Committees '
and 'Other Sub-Committees ' .
The distinction seems to be
based m a i n l y o n f i n a n c i a l
g r o u n d s — the m a j o r s u b
committees spending most of the
money—than on any qualitative
decis ion as to their relative
importance.
Each subcommittee is headed
by a chairman (or officer for
Welfare, External Affairs and
Academic Affairs) who repre
sents the views of the committee
to Council.
Poge8] | October 22,1982| |Poge9
LICU COUNCILI Bluffers Guide
continued
Major Sub-Committees
Athletics Clubs Committee
(ACC) is concerned with the
administration of the sports
clubs, dealing with individual
club's monetary allocations and
forming a source of positive
feedback on the sports needs
within College.
Social Clubs Committee (SCC)
has a similar function to A C C ,
dealing mostly with religious
and political societies, although
it encompasses other societies
which are 'social' rather than
'active' in aim.
Recreational Clubs Committee
(RCC) is again a similar idea,
although dealing mostly with
'games and hobbies' clubs. Often
the distinction between S C C and
R C C clubs is difficult to see!
Overseas Students Committee
(OSC) is not only concerned
with the running of the overseas
students ' societies, but also
provides a platform for making
the views of the Union known
about such matters as overseas
students fees, etc.
Social, Cultural and Amuse
ments Board (SCAB) deals with
anything that .could come under
the heading of 'performing arts'.
It continas the Music Society
which is an umbrella for the
Orchestra and the Choir.
P u b l i c a t i o n s B o a r d (Pub
B o a r d ) is p e r h a p s s l i g h t l y
misnamed, since it is concerned
with not just publications, but
with al l the student media ,
including IC Radio and S T O I C
as well as the publications side
(FELIX, The Phoenix, etc). It
should , of course, provide a
regulatory influence on publica
tions, but there seems precious
little evidence of this!
Silwood Park Committee. Sil-
wood Park is the College's field
station near Ascot , and this
committee is intended to repre
sent the views of the students
there to the bulk of the students
at Imperial, as well as covering
just about all the functions of the
Union at the Silwood Park Site.
Other Subcommittees
Academic Af fairs tries to
attain/maintain a high standard
of lecturing and practical work
throughout the departments at
College, as well as providing a
campaign platform for opposi
tion to cuts, etc.
Welfare is concerned with
provisions within College of
' w e l f a r e f a c i l i t i e s ' : H e a l t h
Centre, Student Services, etc.
Postgraduate Affairs forms the
basis for social interaction of
postgraduates (eg P G Plough-,
Page 10 I H B I H B f f i H B f f l H H B
man's Lunches) and a forum for
the d iscuss ion of problems
which refer explicitly to P G s —
timing of PhDs, grants, etc.
External Affairs deals with the
interaction between the Union
and outside bodies, principally
U L U and other London colleges,
the N U S (yes, we do still talk to
them sometimes) and so on.
Entertainments Committee
(Ents) is responsible for catering
for the entertainment of Joe
student. Less of a committee and
more of a clique, and to some
extent if your likes and theirs
don't coincide, then tough!
Rag Committee co-ordinates
the activities of C C U Rag as well
as deciding on the charities for
the year and (occasional ly)
organis ing stunts. It is res
ponsible for the paperwork:
p r o d u c i n g accounts , getting
. l i c e n c e s , etc, w h i c h it has
miserably failed to do in the past
few years!
Permanent Working Party
(PWP) is a kind of a Union
think-tank. The six (or less)
m e m b e r s get together a n d
brainstorm the boring things no-
one else can be bothered to
discuss. May be mandated (or
sometimes chose of its own
accord to stick its nose into
anything that happens at College
(or outside), and to deliver its
considered opinion to Council.
Other Important Independent
Union Committees
House Committee allocates
money to be spent to make the
Union less of a tip. It is res
ponsible for such monstrosities
as the U n i o n Lower Lounge
partition (an ill-fated monolith
of less than a year's duration),
the new Union Lower Lounge
and so on. Considering how
much money they spend, it's
amazing that there's never any
difference!
Internal Services deals with
things like Southside S h o p ,
B o o k s h o p , Games Machines ,
Haldane Library, Refectories,
etc. Rarely quorate and a real
pain at times this committee has
the potential to really get things
done. A pity really!
Transport Committee deals
with the failing health of the four
U n i o n vans and perpetual ly
moans that we can't afford new
ones. Suffers particularly from
the recession!
Safety Committee Notable by its
absence. Under the Health and
Safety at Work Act, the Union
has a legal obligation to have
one of these. Ooops, what a slip!
Other Committees
You may hear about such other
committees as Bar Committee,
Refectories Committee. Student
Residence Committee, and so
on. These are all part of College
administration and, although
the Union has representatives on
all of these, they are not directly
under Union control.
Departmental Representatives
Not the most keen and active
members of Union Council. Dep
Reps have few responsibilities
outside their C C U s . There is at
present a move underway to
remove them from Council.
So that's it. If you wish to
complain, you now know how, or
at least to whom it should be
done. I hope this has made the
mechanics of the Union a little
more understandable, and that
you might now choose to play a
part!
Pictured from left lo right the
Dep Reps are:
Top Row: Mines Res Eng
Gaynor Lewis: Elec Eng Gordon
Bowser.
Bouser.
Middle row: Met & Mat Sci
Charlotte Soulhall: Mech Eng
Raphael Tory: Aero Philip Adey:
Chem Eng Andrew McAuslan.
Bottom row: Maths Fiona
Whitelaw: Physics David Parry;
Chem Ged O'Shea; Life Sci Peter
Burl. ,
Percival Sydney, cool sedate
Poet presumptive, tool of fate,
Seeking as ever, ideas new,
Decided to stroll through a nearby zoo.
Laurie the lion, resting, still,
Dreaming of days of chase and kil l ,
Just one more rend, just one more splurge,
Savage, relentless, ancient urge.
A careless keeper, an opening prised,
A n d two ambitions were realised,
For Percival Sydney, cool sedate
Became the Poet Laurie-ate.
Geoffrey Reeves
The poem above was published in last year's edition of
The Phoenix, the magazine of IC Union.
D O Y O U H A V E A R T I S T I C OR L I T E R A R Y U R G E S ?
C A N Y O U C O N T R I B U T E IN A N Y O F T H E S E A R E A S ?
photographs - short stories - articles - poems
drawings - sketches - anecdotes
IF SO WE'D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU NOW!
Please send your contributions to the Felix Office
[October 22, 19821 I FELIX
I
ICLUBS & SOCIETIESI Science Fiction
N o w that you've all seen Blade Runner I can
reveal that ten seconds—and what is more
outrageous—the most vital ten seconds of the
whole film were missing.
Perhaps one of the gravest flaws in the film
(apart from the voice over) was the. ending.
Originally, before the sponsors shreaded the
celluloid, threw it in the air and stuck it back
together again in the name of commerciality,
the film ended with D ec k ard and the girl
replicant getting into the lift, after Deckard had
found the little paper unicorn on the floor
outside his flat. The significance of the unicorn
is lost until one discovers that the missing ten
s e c o n d s s h o w e d D e c k a r d d r e a m i n g of a
unicorn in the landscape seen at the end, just
after his encounter with Leon . The doubts (if
you had them) about Deckard 's identity are
confirmed and the ending, to my mind, is much
more satisfying.
Miranda F Smith the Anti-clone
Gliding Club G l a d to see a good t u r n out at the two
meetings we've had so far this term. Even
more pleasing is that a large proportion of
those present made the journey to the airfield
(Lasham nr Basingstoke) for that first taste of
this exhi larat ing sport : the air experience
flight. If you are not included in the above
category and you want to learn to fly, then
come and find out about the Gliding C lub . W e
meet every Thursday at 5:30pm in A e r o 254.
P S : Congratulations to Sue, our first solo
pilot of the term.
Film Society A r e you interested in film? W h y not join Fi lm
Society then; membership (includes all films
this term) is only £2.00. If you don't fancy
joining, why not come along just to see a
programme or two, membership for the night
will vary from 70p to 25p.
This week we are showing a film called The
Flicker, made in 1966; here are some reviews:
"The ultimate to date in the non-objective
film..Jt has only black and white frames...the
resulting strobe effect can...cause the illusion
of colour, of a spreading of light. Seeing the
Flicker will cause one in every fifteen thousand
to have an epileptic seizure."
—Sheldon Renan, An Introduction to the
American Underground Film
"...a sort of visual LSD, including
hallucinations...Some of these cats were
sitting stewing...as if watching Beethoven
himself play the 5th Piano Concerto."
-The Evening Star, Washington
P S : If anyone is interested in making film
come along and tell me—we may be able to get
a grant from the Union if enough people are
interested.
Jewish Society IC Jewish Society plans to host a series of
'very informal' Friday night meals; grace before
and after meals will be recited and whenever
possible there will be a guest speaker to
encourage discussion during the meal. The
first of these meals will be held Today, October
22 (see What 's O n for details). If interested
please bring, if at all possible, about £1 worth
of dairy or vegetarian kosher food to Beit A r c h
at 6:00pm, from there we shall go to a nearby,
r oom for the meal. A l l the food will be put
together on the table so that, with luck there
will be a large variety of foods to eat. The lively,
v i v a c i o u s a n d a t t r a c t i v e D a n n i e l l a , who-
happens to be a student Reform Rabbi as well,
will be joining us tonight.
Audio Society
How many r e c o r d s did you buy last y e a r ?
If the answer is one or more, then reading this
article could save you money! The fact is that
r e c o r d s a r e o v e r p r i c e d — p a r t i c u l a r l y in
L o n d o n where although the big names offer
attractive prices on Top 60 albums they make
all their profits on non-chart albums.
N O M O R E , the Aud io Society is proud to
offer t h r o u g h its new r e c o r d c l u b , A L L
currently available albums at the cheapest
prices possible. See below and calculate how
much you can save. Membership is only £1.60,
so come along to the Upper U n i o n Lounge
( n e x t to the U n i o n O f f i c e ) o n T u e s d a y
October 26 at 1:00pm.
Join us, order records and save money.
Typical Prices (Single Albums)
Aris ta , Char isma, Chrysal is
Decca , Phonogram, Polydor "£3.60
A & M , C B S , M C A , Pye,
V irg in , W E A £3.80
E M I , United Art ist , Island £3.85
R C A . £3.95
Independents £2.35 to £3.60
Audio Society Record Club-too good to miss!
&opal i§>tf)ool
of fflmt$
present
Paint Your Face
Discotheque Saturday 23 October 830 till late at
Imperia I College JCR
Tickets iTOO for painted faces all others X.1 40
Tickets available from ICU & C C U offices and at the door
Bookshop News
|| I have been tolerant, polite, even humorous. It
obviously doesn't have any effect on the small
number of people who think that because the
Bookshop is owned by the student union, they
can just walk in and help themselves.
If we catch anyone taking Bookshop stock
without paying, we will have no alternative but
to call the police.
It is because of the past history pilfering
within the College, that we have had to
Iunfortunately install Entry and Exit turnstiles,
a security guard, goods must be put in bags,
receipts must be given. I don't like any of it but,
as trie media says, it's a sign of the times. If
anyone sees people stealing from the
Bookshop, tell me. If they steal from us, they
could steal from you.
New Titles
Good food fromk Farthinghoe - Nicola. Cox,
Gollancz £8.50
Bosh & Nonsense - Edward Lear, Allen Lane
£5.95
Space Time & Medicine - Dossey, Shambhala
Pub £5.95
Nicholas Nickleby - Dickens, O U P £1.95
My Sweet Audrina - Andrews, Fontana £3.95
George Orwell, A Life - Crick, Penguin £2.95
Experiences of an Irish RM - Sommerville &
Ross, Dent £2.95
Card Games - Roberts, Foulsham £1.95
Wedding Speeches & Toasts - Jeffery, Foul
sham £1.00
High Pressure - Cooper & Davidson, Fontana
£1.95
The Hidden World - Leonard Cheshire, Fount £1.75
Spray It Loud - Sosener, RKP £2.95
History of Persian Earthquake - Ambraseys &
Melville, C U P £35.00.
Cycl ing
Dramsoc
Next Wednesday (see What's On) at 2:00pm
we shall be starting weekly workshops. These
should be a lot of fun, cons is t ing of
improvisation, acting, games, projection
training, make-up classes, etc.
The first will be in the Concert Hall, but all of
the rest will be held in the Upper Lounge.
Everyone is welcome to come along, even
Oliviers need practice!
Those of you more interested in the
technical side of stagecraft should also come
along to the Storeroom on Wednesdays to
help build sets for our forthcoming produc
tions.
Chris
Do you ride a bicycle or have you a bike which
you would like to ride? Ever wanted to do
more than ride it to College, or just make your
ride to College a little more comfortable? If it's
yes to any of the above you should consider
joining the newly formed IC Cycle Club.
The main activities relating to actual riding
are weekly runs for those who want just to
cycle for pleasure, race training and racing
itself for those who want to cycle for pain. The
weekly Sunday runs are already happening,
the others will follow when we get more
organised. Other plans include longer trips,
say for weekends, with this possibly including
cross -Channel excursions (when better
weather arrives).
The other main function of the club is to
provide members with the abilitiy to maintain
and improve their machines. To this end we
are already in the process of obtaining over
£300 worth of tools. This will allow members to
do anything from tightening loose nuts and
replacing broken spokes to building wheels
Hopefully the club will also soon be able to
acquire track bikes, essential for the racing
side of the club.
If you are interested, drop a note to our
esteemed Captain, Ronan McDonald (Maths
3) or come along to our regular Sunday ride
(Beit Arch at 10:00am).
Ric Jones (Vice Captain)
Cricket
Tour
B r i l l i a n t t o u r ! F i v e games
played, one was — the rest were
either...lost or drawn. No great
cricket but John Wints scored
two 50s and Jimmy Hutton did
the bowling honours including a
hat-trick. (God knows how with
his slow left-hand crap!) First
fixture cancelled due to rain,
drove directly to Torquay on the
last Tuesday of term. Presence
was felt—booted out of 'The
Musicians Bar', picked up by.the
police when we proved very
difficult to remove from a 'night
c l u b ' e s p e c i a l l y when P h i l
E a s t l a n d was a d a m a n t on
finishing the pint that he had
bought. Between arriving and
Sunday night J immy Hutton
and Chris Thomason downed the
fifty pint mark. A couple of
others requiring a little longer.
One night after the boys had
been on the beer—it was the
general consensus is that Garath
Fish should have a haircut.
Using nail scissors half of his
hair was removed—thanks to
being locked out of Garath's
room the job was left incomplete.
Neil Clarke was the unfortunate
subject of a classic comment
which was passed as he strode
in to bat against Plymstock:
" C o r ! Don't they grow worms
big in L o n d o n ! "
Rifle & Pistol
Despite a large turnout during
the first two weeks of term, good
shots are still required for both
internal and inter-university
teams. New features this year
include a club knockout compe
tition, ladies league and num
erous s h o u l d e r - t o - s h o u l d e r t
duels (Time Higgs' organisation
permitting). Some high scores
have already been registered this
term with Tim Higgs shooting a
magnificent '96' despite a poor
start to the season. (He said "It
would have been a '100', but
Steve Harrison was talking to
me!").
T o potential markspersons
who may have been put off by
the crowds in the range, please
make the effort to come along.
' E x p e r t ' t u i t i o n is a l w a y s
available.
Members are invited to attend
the open pistol competition and
c lub d i n n e r , to be held on
December 1. Don't worry if you
can't shoot , Steve H a r r i s o n
(Club Captain, contact via Elec
Eng letter-racks) could only
manage 4 out of 100 at his last
attempt. There will also be a
club social division pub visit on
Wednesday October 27 (next
week) see range officers for
details.
Squash
The club already anticipates a
very successful year following an
astonishing turnout at Freshers'
Fair, both in terms of potential
membership and depth of new
talent. At the league's A G M last
week this prompted us to enter
an IC V team into the newly
formed U L U S L 6th Division,
thus hopefully enabling more
players to compete in matches
during their time at IC. Partly
commensurate with this, but
also due to other considerations
the club is actively seeking ways
of increasing its share of the
total court time available at the
Sports Centre.
T h e first matches of this
season were played this week;
first r e s u l t — b e l o w strength
ladies team lost narrowly to
Bedford College 3-2.
The men's and ladies' ladders
are being established and will be
put up after the weekend; see
noticeboard at Sports Centre for
details.
Cross Country
The club had a very promising
start to the season competing in
the Southern Universities Cross
Country League on the first
Saturday of term. Running for
London Univ, we finished fifth
out of twenty-two teams (four of
the six scoring runners were
from IC), with newcomer Andrew
Griffiths finishing a creditable
fortieth despite r u n n i n g the
muddy six mile course in training
flats. In the ladies race Mandy
T i n d a l l s h o w e d that ear ly
morning training pays dividends
by finishing second to take the
London side into sixth position.
Not bad for a 1-member team.
Last Saturday on a very wet
H a m p s t e a d H e a t h the c lub
fielded two teams in the Univer
sity College Relays. G r a h a m
Harker and Hugh Dixon got the
first team off to a good start but
it took a fast last leg run by Jon
Lea to bring us into the top ten,
giving it plenty of time to get
back for the all-important cross
country tea.
ISPORT
^ Hockey
Firsts
I C vs U C L 7-0
A rainy day . but a p r o m i s i n g
start for the first eleven in their
first game of the season. W i t h
four new players in the side,
Imper ia l began the game eager
to show the f o rm that has w o n
us the Col lege league for the past
few years.
A f t e r a t e n t a t i v e s t a r t , I C
s t a r t e d s t r i n g i n g s o m e g o o d
passes together creating good
w i l l on the field a n d covering
back wel l . T h i s possession was
soon converted to a wel l - taken
goal by Garme- . a n d by hal f - t ime
the score was 3-0 U C L were
denied several chances in the
first ha l f by a good first per
formance by T o n y A t k i n s w h o
was substituted to a l l ow another
sweeper A n d y Stuart to play his
first game for Imper ia l .
T h e s e c o n d ha l f f o u n d I C
p lay ing more good open hockey
but the lack o f fitness was very
evident as the game progressed
(hmmm.. .Geof f . ' ) . H o w e v e r , a
f u r t h e r l o u r g o a l s — g i v i n g
G a r m e s a h a t t r i c k — e n d e d a
promis ing game. It won ' t be as
easy on Saturday . D o n ' t forget
t r a i n i n g . T u e s d a y 1 2 : 3 0 p m
U n i o n G y m .
T e a m : Ayres (2). Parker,
Riley. Bell (2). Garmes (}), Jones.
I-rank /in, Atkins. Hope, Stuart,
Bansal. Pitkethley.
Seconds
I C vs Amersham 1-1
The stench of the sti l l unwashed
f i r s t t e a m s h i r t s c i r c u l a t e d
a r o u n d the worr ied laces o f the
second team. W h o w o u l d go in
goal i f Skitter d i d not appear?
E ldr idge was the reply , at least
the mask w o u l d keep h i m quiet.
But then a flash o f light and the
goalie entered stage right. So out
into the w i n d and rain went the
brave bunch and f ound t h e m
selves immediate ly dominated
by a n A m e r s h a m t e a m w h o
rewarded any s k i l l on the part o f
I C with a tactless stick in the
legs. The team battled hard with
Slatter p lay ing a b l inder in goal .
( F o r once commented an u n k i n d
voice). Unfor tunate ly though we
were unable to stop the o p p o s i
t ion g rabb ing a short corner
goa l .
A tactical rearrangement at
hal f - t ime and also dec id ing to
d r o p to the oppos i t ion ' s level
produced a gritty a n d a mighty
phys ica l per formance . The I C
f o r w a r d s n o w r e m e m b e r i n g
where the goal was actual ly put
some shots in that d i rect ion and
somehow D u b l o n s k i managed
to slot in an equaliser through a
forest o f players.
So another good result for the
seconds main ly due to inspired
leadership (?) and a faultless
C u n n i n g h a m performance, but
then again Sweeper is such an
easy pos i t i on to p lay !
T e a m : Rolf, Pete, Andy, Tony,
Duncan, Pete, Chaz, Roger, Paul,
Simon, David, Nigel.
Thirds
In order to encourage a fast,
open game, I C 3rd X I chose to
play wi th only eight men on
S a t u r d a y . T h i s b r a v e t a c t i c a l
gamble n a r r o w l y fai led to pay
o f f d e s p i t e a s p i r i t e d p e r
formance f rom a l l concerned.
F i n e d e f e n s i v e w o r k f r o m
Bai ley and M o d l e y a n d a penalty
flick save f rom H e p p e r kept IC
in the game early on and gave
rise to numerous spir i ted charges
d o w n the field f rom W a r d , Jones
and act ing captain Purdy . C lose
to the oppos i t i on goa l , however,
I C f ound it di f f icult to break
d o w n a tight defence, a l though
Salter came close to scor ing on
several occasions.
I C s posit ive approach led (on
occasion) to a lack o f cover in
defence and O C ' s l ook advantage
o f the oppor tun i ty to score four
times d u r i n g the game. The fine
spirit in which the match was
p l a y e d was g r a p h i c a l l y i l l u s
trated when a mis-hit shot f rom
L y o n s was generously helped
into the goal by an oppos i t i on
defender—thus ensuring a well
deserved conso lat ion for I C at
the end of a strenuous afternoon.
Rugby
Firsts
I C vs St Thomas's 12-10
The match against St T h o m a s '
was played in the m o r n i n g d i u
to the I n t e r n a t i o n a l in the
a f ternoon , and as a result many
were s t i l l s u f f e r i n g f r o m the
n i g h t b e f o r e e s c a p a d e s . O n e
person even had make -up o n !
A n y w a y . St T h o m a s ' won the
toss and played with the w i n d .
A s a consequence I C were
immediate ly put under pressure
by the l ong k i cks o f their f l y -
h a l l . T h i s resulted, in them going
Breaking loose at Harlington. Photo: Steve Bishop
over for a try in the corner ;
p u t t i n g a p e n a l t y o v e r ; a n d
d r o p p i n g a goa l , in the first ten
minutes . 0-10. The I C forwards
now started to p lay , a n d the
front five were push ing their
o p p o n e n t s a l l o v e r the p a r t .
T h u s , at hal f - t ime I C were st i l l
on ly 10-0 d o w n .
In the second hal f the forwards
cont inued their d o m i n a n c e , a n d
I C spent the major i ty o f the t ime
in St T h o m a s ' 25 . T h i s was
rewarded wi th a try under the
post by W K i n g , after a for
w a r d s ' d r i v e ; a n d a p e n a l t y
w h i c h w a s c o n v e r t e d b y H
M c D o w a l l . The score was now
9-10 and though I C came close
on many occasions they c o u l d
not get the last score. H o w e v e r ,
in the last seconds of the match
I C were given another penalty in
front o f the posts. H M c D o w a l l
converted this , and IC won 12-
10.
T e a m : M Thompson. W Chap
man. H McDouall. G Pike. R
Fly nil. P Clarke. S Johns. I'
Richards, E Smith, J Manzoni, P
Verity, D McGee, J Davies, A
Ralph, II' King.
Seconds
I C vs Q E C 21-10
Wednesday October 13 saw I C
2nds kick o i l a brand new season
with their annual r o u n d L o n d o n
mystery tour . First stop on this
epic journey (organised by W
K i n g ) was C o l l i e r s W o o d , a
pleasant little suburb at the end
of the N o r t h e r n L i n e , apparently
l a ck ing in both pubs and rugby
teams. A f ter a quick spin of the
compass (and a few phone calls)
it was back up the northern line
and off to R i c h m o n d . A t this
point there were several remarks
to the tune o f ' O r a n g e Tree ' and
' Y o u n g s Special" , and even the
casual 'get pissed".
A f te r a r r i v i n g at R i c h m o n d it
was taxis tok Petersham a n d legs
the rest o f the wav. A generally
r i p - r o a r i n g game esult ing i n a
2 1 - 0 w i n f o r I C w i t h P e t e
Hardee , B i l l H i n m e r s a n d M a r k
S i m m o n s scor ing the tries.
Special awards go to E d ' I 've
left my kit in the t a x i ' O ' C o n n o r
and T i m ' I ' m not p l a y i n g any
more ' C a r r .
Puke of the week goes to W i l l
C h a p m a n , a nice effort straight
t h r o u g h t h e d o o r w a y f r o m
about five yards.
T e a m : Bell, Edwards, Scabies.
Carr, H ughes-N arborough,
Hinmers, O'Connor. Pierce,
Hutchinson. Clarke, Winsor.
Hardee. Chapman, Simmonds,
Eastland.
Football
Thirds
I C vs Kings ' 4-1
The 3rd X I ' s first league game
of the season, against K i n g s ' 2nd
X I at H a r l i n g t o n . d i d not begin
as we had hoped a n d by hal f -
t ime we were 1-0 d o w n . H o w e v e r
wi th increased organisat ion a n d
effort in the second ha l f we got
back into the game. G o a l s by
J o h n H e a l y a n d T o r s e n B e h l i n g
put us into the lead , before the
highl ight o f the game: a powerfu l
t o e - p o k e f r o m J o h n , f i r e d
straight at the goalkeeper , which
was somehow fumbled over the
l ine. A n o t h e r close range shot in
the last few minutes sealed our
first w in of the season.
Golf? It is extremely impor tant that
some member(s) o f the A C C
G o l f C l u b sees the A C C C h a i r
man as soon as poss ible , a v a i l
able in the U n i o n Off ice every
luncht ime . F a i l u r e to d o so by
F r i d a y N o v e m b e r 5 may result
in the suspension o f G o l f C l u b ' s
account .
FEUX lOctober 22, 1982 Page13
We're happy to Include all your events and fixtures In What's On, but please remember the deadline, 5:30pm, Monday.
J C R
1230h
Angling Club meet ing to a r
range a trip to W a l t h a m s t o w .
1300h U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l
Islamic Society F r i d a y p r a y e r s '
1800h B e i t A r c h
J e w i s n Society Sabbath meal.
The cost of the kosher food will
be approximately £1
1930h U p p e r L o u n g e .
Latin-American Freshers' Party
RSM Paint Your Face on Satur
day.
2000h U L U
B u i l d i n g
ULU Ball M a n W i l l s o n is the m a i n at tract ion at this a l l -n ight
party. A d m i s s i o n £6.50 inc
even ing meal .
-With Carnival only three
weeks away this is probably not
worth attending unless you are
either a great fan of Mari
Willson or have absolutely
nothing to do.
2030h U n i o n
B u i l d i n g
IC Film Soc present The Flicker
(a short , but we i rd f i lm). 30p
a d m i s s i o n (free to m e m b e r s ) .
2200 3 0 1 m / 9 9 9 k H z
S o u t h s i d e B a r s
2 Pints...lC R a d i o ' s Fr iday
e v e n i n g p r o g r a m m e
-Is this really a radio programme?
2230h F a l m o u t h K i t c h e n s
Soup Run
mm**.
Mari Wilson who will be appearing at ULU tonight
A A A A I 3 0 1 m / 9 9 9 k H z Z U U U n S o u t h s i d e B a r s
Atomic Rock o n IC R a d i o
-// you haven't got anything
else to do, listen to Neil Collin's
programme featuring the new
Michael Schenkar Group al
bum.
Offbeat Classics Fancy an enjoyable day hearing various forms of 'classical'
music conducted by half-wits, blown on hosepipes and
generally mangled to pieces? If so it's time to raid the current
account and turn up at the Royal College of Music (the red
brick building between Aero and Mines) sometime after
10:00am on Saturday for Musithon, the highlight of the RCM
Centenary year. For the princely sum of fifty pence you get
admission to the building where you will be greeted by the
sounds of buskers, pipers and a computer. For the main
attractions of the day you will have to dig a little deeper into
your pockets, and you will then be, able to assail your ears
with 'Ten Harps, Ten Cellos, Ten Green Bottles' (RCM
olavinn around again?), 'Taling about Musithon', Musicmagic,
a concert by Peter Skellern, Musithon Cabaret and a concert
of Dixieland jazz.
'Talking about Musithon' features Antony Hopkins, one of
Radio Three's most popular music critics, talking about
Tchaikovsky's Fourth Symphony as never before.
'Conduct it Yourself allows absolutely anyone to try to
conduct the RCM orchestra or just to turn up and suffer as
others are conducting.
'Musithon Cabaret' is the event of the evening, Sir David
Willcocks hosts a multitude of stars from the musical world,
including Julian Lloyd-Webber, Jennifer Partridge, the Light
Blues, Raimund Herincx, Peggy Spencer, Tim Brooke-
Taylor (?) and many more.
Whether you want to just turn up and browse around the
RCM, or go to as many concerts as possible pick up a leaflet
with more details from the RCM foyer as soon as possible..
Satu rday
G900h
Rag Mag Trip to Oxford
G u i l d s U n i o n
Of f i ce
2030h JCR
RSM and Institut Frangais present Paint Your Face. £1
a d m i s s i o n for pa inted faces ,
o thers £1.40.
-Girls from the Institut Frangais
wi l l be there.
Sunday
100Qh C o n s o r t G a l l e r y
Communion Service
1100h Beit
A r c h
Cycling Club run to the L e a Val l ey a n d E p p i n g Forest .
Definitely not for those with a hangover.
1300h U n i o n S C R
Wargames Club p lay D u n g e o n s
a n d D r a g o n s .
1930h U n i o n
U p p e r L o u n g e
Cricket Club c h e e s e & wine . A d m i s s i o n £1.50 for freshers ;
others £ 2 .
-Not going to Australia with Mr
Willis
Monday
1230h R a g
Off ice
Community Action Group
Meeting
1245h U n i o n
U p p e r L o u n g e
Debating Society 'Th is H o u s e bel ieves that H u m a n N a t u r e is
not one of G r e e d , Se l f i shness ,
a n d V i o l e n c e ' . T h e r e wi l l be
free sherry for those with a
m e m b e r s h i p c a r d .
Pagel4 | October 22,1982] : FELIX
1900h E l e c
" o l Wellsoc general meeting fol
lowed by Doppelganger.
-An astronaut, played by Ian
Hendry, discovers a mirror
image earth on the other side
of the sun. The effects are by
Gerry Anderson of Thunder-
birds.
1930h J C R
Dancing Club Advanced Class
Tuesday
1245h Chemistry 231
Catholic Mass with lunch
provided for 30p.
1300h Chem
Eng LT2
Industrial Society present a
talk 'Exporting to J a p a n -
Mission Impossible?' given by
Mr Eddie Ripley from the
Department of Trade.
TV
Lounges 1300h STOIC broadcast
-If they would send me some
details I could tell you all about
it.
1300h Union Upper Lounge
Audio Soc Record Club Meet
ing
1300h Physics
LT2
MOPSOC present Prof Michael
Seaton of U C L who will talk on
'Quantum Defect Theory'.
IC Radio have three important
programmes this week
_ _ . Read Theatre
1330n Sherfield Building
Richard Dickins ends series on
the 'Evolution of the Orchestra'
with 'The Modern Orchestra'.
4 o o n u Pippard Theatre l O O U n Sherfield Building
Exploring the Uninhabitable
Tom Sheppard talks on 'Solo
Exploration in the Sahara'.
What a pity this excellent
series must come to an end.
Don't miss this last talk.
1730h Brown Committee Room
Amnesty International meeting
1730h Volleyball Court
Women's Volleyball Training
Session
1800h Union
Concert Hall
Socialist Society present a
speaker from the Ecology Party
-A must for all those who want
to hear an interesting talk on
whales, bicycles, etc.
1800h Union SCR
Wine Tasting Society claret
tasting. Admission £1 for
for members.
-All SDP members welcome.
1800h TV
Lounges
STOIC repeat the lunchtime
broadcast.
1900h Committee Room
Oramsoc brainstorming ses
sion to plan the sequel to last
•year's Edinburgh Fringe tour
1930h Opp Old
Chemistry
Ski Club dry slope skiing.
£2.50 for two hours skiing,
with free instruction.
1930h J C R
Dancing Club beginners class
j A o n u Q u i e t R o o m
lifOUn Sherlield Building
ICNAC present a slideshow of
the U S A and tell you how you
can go to the States next year.
Industrial Society are meeting at 1300h on Thursday to hear a talk
on Land Rover
2230h Falmouth Kitchens
Soup Run
Wednesday
1230h Southside
Upper Lounge
Scout and Guide Club trip to
the Sobell climbing wall and
sports centre.
-This wall is reckoned to be the
hardest climbing wall in
London.
1230h Under Union Clock
X-Country Club league match
Runners of all standards wel
come.
1230h Chem Eng E400
Methodist Society communion
service All Christians are
welcome.
1315h Beit Arch
Industrial Society visit to a
Sunblest bakery. Members
only.
Union
1400h Concert Hall
Dramsoc acting workshops
-Whether you want to act like
Koo Stark or Lord Olivier,
Dramsoc will be able to help
2000h 301m/999kHz
Southside Bars
IC Radio present Alfred
Freudenberger—the sound of
America in South Ken.
Thursday
1230h Southside Upper Lounge
ICYHA butties meeting
Jolly yomping chaps.
1230h Mines
303
Scout and Guide Club present
a talk on natural history.
1240h Upper Southside Bar
Model Aero Club meeting
1300h Chem Eng
LT2
Industrial Society present
Mr R H Turner, director of
finance Land Rover, who will
talk on 'The Land Rover—A
Success for British Industry'.
- / fee/ sure Mr Turner will take
pleasure in explaining how the
Land Rover has clobbered
overseas competition.
1300h Green Committee Room
Sci Fi Club quiz
1415h
FEUXI |October22,19821
Royal
Albert Hall
Presentation Ceremony to
mark Commemoration Day.
Students without tickets will be
admitted before 2:15pm on
production of their unioncard.
-This is the annual presenta
tion of awards by each of the
three constituent colleges. This
is perhaps not the most ex
citing event of the week and
will not attract a vast attend
ance despite the fact it is quite
interesting to see where you
will hopefully be in years to
come.
1730h Aero 254
Gliding Club meeting.
| Page. 5
continued from front page
G e n e r a l , not w ish ing to take the
b lame for the u n p o p u l a r fares
rise, gave the G L C a dispensa
t i on to keep their fares increase
b e l o w 5 0 % . M r L i v i n g s t o n e
rejoices in future possibi l i t ies for
L a b o u r governments: dispensing
local authorit ies f r o m c o m p l i
ance with hangovers o f T o r y
legis lat ion. H e mainta ins that
t h e c o u r t c a s e w a s ' W a r i n
P r i n c i p l e ' a n d that legal au thor
i t i e s were d e v a s t a t e d by the
a d v e r s e r e s u l t . M r s T h a t c h e r
w o u l d r a t h e r g i v e i n t o t h e
Argent in ians than give in to the
G L C , he sa id . F u r t h e r fare cuts
are apparent ly i n the pipel ine
after the end of the financial year
despite government demands for
a t w e l v e p e r c e n t r i s e . K e n
L iv ings tone believes that there
w i l l h a v e to be a d r a m a t i c
t u r n a r o u n d in pub l i c transport
to prevent v i ta l business being
sucked out o f L o n d o n by the
new orbit M 2 5 motorway .
O n C i v i l Defence the speech
moved f r o m black h u m o u r , to
deadly seriousness. I f there is a
n u c l e a r w a r , M r L i v i n g s t o n e
w o u l d be required to help the
m i l i t a r y t o r o o t out C N D
a c t i v i s t s ( n o d o u b t i n c l u d i n g
himself) . H e described in graphic
detai l the horr i f y ing six m i l l i o n
d e a t h r o l l o f a t w o m e g a t o n
strike. Protect and Survive he
described as a monumenta l t o n
descr ibing the whole exercise as
a d e l i b e r a t e l i e . T h e G L C
intends to go into open conflict
w i th the government over the
N u c l e a r Free Z one for L o n d o n
a n d h o p e s to f o r c e a n o p e n
P a r l i a m e n t a r y d e b a t e o n the
conf ident ia l Queens Order T w o
p lan to seal off L o n d o n .
There were several questions
after the speech. The question o f
rates was raised, f rom several
a n g l e s , a n d M r L i v i n g s t o n e
po inted out that the Fare ' s F a i r
po l i cy wi th a comparable gov
ernment subsidy cou ld put 15p
on the rates; without subsidy it
w o u l d cost £1.50.
Debsoc
Comes Out
The newly reconstituted D e b a t
ing Society held its first event for
f o u r years o n M o n d a y . T h e
m o t i o n ' T h i s H o u s e believes that
Mul t i la tera l i s t s live in a D r e a m
W o r l d ' , proposed by M i c h a e l
N o r m a n a n d seconded by L a
Ia t rou , was defeated by N i c k
Sketch , who was seconded by
Stephen C u r r y .
W i t h the Dossible exception o f
M i s s Ia t rou , o f a l l the speakers
h a d o b v i o u s l y h a d p r e v i o u s
d e b a t i n g e x p e r i e n c e . M o s t
impressive was M r C u r r y , whose
technique a n d use o f c h a r m i n g
metaphors complemented M r
Sketch 's so l id arguments. In the
vot ing at the end, the oppos i t i on
received three times as many
votes as the proposers .
M e m b e r s h i p o f the s o c i e t y
now stands at over fifty, most o f
w h o m are expected to speak at
l e a s t o n c e e v e r y y e a r ; t h e
o r g a n i s e r s are d e t e r m i n e d t o
a v o i d regular speakers. Future
e v e n t s i n c l u d e a d e b a t e o n
P u b l i c S c h o o l s w i t h e x t e r n a l
speakers, i n c l u d i n g a C o n s e r v a
tive M P and the C h a i r m a n o f the
I L E A . Free sherry w i l l be on
offer next week as an added
inducement to attend the debate
o n the H e a l t h Service.
P I N O C C H I O • mmmmammmmmammmm in order to make some money and relieve the
burden on the hard-pressed taxpayer, British
Rail intend to operate some special excursions
on the scenic route between the resorts of
H i g h e r P a y r i s e a n d K i H i n b u c k t o n . K i l l i n
buckton is a terminus (the last resort?), and
the train will have to be turned around. The
train is to comprise the steam locomotive 'the
F ly ing P i c k e t ' , one s e c ond class car , one
restaurant car, and a Pullman observation car,
with windows in the rear.
The layout of track at Ki l l inbuckton is in the
form of a triangle, as shown. The figures
indicate how many vehicles will fit in each
section of track.
The problem, then, is this:
1. The train arrives from Higher Payrise in
the order: locomotive, second class coach,
restaurant car, Pullman car; it must leave in
the same order, but facing in the opposite
direction.
2. The locomotive and the Pullman car
must have been turned around when they
leave, the restaurant car and the second class
coach need not be.
3. Ki l l inbuckton is entirely flat, hence no
rolling of vehicles is allowed.
4. Nothing can move without being coupled
to the locomotive.
5. Everything must be at a standstill for
c o u p l i n g or u n c o u p l i n g to take p lace (no
'pushing').
What is the minimum number of moves
required to turn the train (the first move
starts with the train standing on the line from
Higher Payrise; a move ends whenever the
locomotive has to stop for coupling, uncoupling
or a change of direction)?
Solutions, comments,criticisms to me at the
FELIX Office by Wednesday, 1:00pm. £5 from
Menda-Bike for a randomly selected entry.
The terminus at Kil l inbuckton
Last Week's Solution
Last week's problem was rather trivial, but
for those of you who failed to obtain the
solution,
Quent in went with M a r y
Richard went with Mungo
Steve went with Mandy
T i m went with Midge
Of the sixteen entries, the winner was, for
the second time, J i m W a r d of C h e m Eng 1 (I
a s s u r e y o u I d o n ' t k n o w h i m ! ) , w h o can
collect his prize on Monday (after 1:30pm
please).
General Reisenschein
A l l right, I'm sorry, in the second statement
of General Reisenschein's problem I did use
the word 'congruent'. What I meant was, the
same size and shape, and I was just saving
space, and unfortunately, making a mistake at
the same time. Also , I shall admit that the
dissection is not terribly convenient for offices,
consisting as it does, of two rooms, but here
you are, the moment you've all been waiting
for.
General Reisenschein's Offices
O n the second try, nineteen people solved
the problem, and the winner(s) chosen at
r a n d o m was G a r y S m i t h , C i v E n g 3, in
collaboration with Susan Griffiths, and Gary
can pick up the cheque on Monday from the
F E L I X Office.
Banana's Revenge
Congratulations to anyone who managed to
solve this problem. A solution, and, I suspect,
the unique solution, is
1. P-K4 N - K B 3
2. P - K B 3 N x P
3. Q - K 2 N - N 6
4. Q x P c h Q x Q c h
5. K-B2 N x R mate
If you want to advertise any event by use of
a puzzle in this column, then drop me a note,
saying what prize you're going to donate (eg
the orchestra will be giving away two tickets
for their concert), and what you'd like the
puzzle to be about. About three weeks notice
(or more!) would be appreciated, but 1 must
know at least a fortnight before the event. If
you wish to take advantage of this special offer
(before it runs out!) drop a line to me in the
Pinocchio box in the F E L I X Office.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB.
Tel. Oi-589 5111 Ext 1048 or Internal 288/. Editor: Martin S Taylor; Business Manager: Peter A Rodgers: Advertising Manager: Nick Thexton. Copyright FELIX 1982.