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Developing an Effective Professional Writing Style(Sentence Edition)
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One guess: what best characterizes the intended audience for professional communication?
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Thus: concise, appropriate and readable you must be.
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Unnecessarily long words
Redundancy
“Deadwood”
Unnecessary passive voice
General Principle 1: BE CONCISE.
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1. Eliminate unnecessarily long words.
Instead of…
Approximately
Demonstrate
Utilize
Subsequently
Construct
Assistance
Competencies
Initiate
Use…
About
Show
Use
Next
Build
Help
Skills
Start, Begin
(pg 69-73)
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2. Eliminate redundancy.Examples of redundancy:already existing
alternative choices
each and every
at the present time presently
continue to remain
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3. Reduce “deadwood” (empty phrases).• it is my intent to show that• in my opinion• as a matter of fact• in fact• it may be said that• very• really• it is evident that• as is well known• it is noteworthy• the presence of• currently
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4. Eliminate unnecessary passive voice.PRO TIP: if you can add the phrase […by zombies] after the verb, and the sentence makes sense, then the sentence is passive voice.
e.g. “It was requested [by zombies] that this memo be submitted to the project leader by 1:00 p.m. today.”
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5. Write in “plain English” wherever you can. (Avoid jargon, buzzwords, cliché, and “The Official Style.”)Learned “Official Style” (bureaucratese):
“A romantic relationship is ongoing between Sarah and Bill.” OR “One can easily see that an interactive romantic relationship is currently being fulfilled between Sarah and Bill.”
Why not: “Sarah and Bill are dating.”?
(pp 89-93)
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General Principle 2: BE DIRECT.-Eliminate “zombie nouns” (aka nominalizations) where possible.-Replace “vampire verbs” (to be, to have) with more active, specific ones.
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6. Make the verbs carry the weight of the sentence.
Cut out “to be” and “to have” as often as possible. Use active, specific verbs instead.
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When the interplanting of garlic chives with tomatoes is performed, bacterial wilt is suppressed.
The church had a door that dated back to the 14th century. The door had weather-bleached wood and pitted iron bindings.
FIX:
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7. Use the simplest, most active form of the verb.
(pp 674-76)
We are taking forward leapsWe are leaping forward
Many people are resistant to reading on screen Many people resist on-screen reading
The company’s sales figures usually rise substantially in the first quarterCompany sales usually soar in the first quarter
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MAKE THESE VERB PHRASES STRONGER AND MORE CONCISE:
• is capable of
• is composed of
• is used to detect
• makes a decision
• makes a measurement of
• performs the development of
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8. Replace “zombie nouns” with strong, specific nouns.
If it ends in…-tion -ism-ity -ment-ness -age-ance/ence
-ship
-ability -acy
…it’s probably a “zombie noun.”
efficiency
reliability
attention
relationships
performance
knowledge
functionality
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What verbs are at the root of these commonly used “zombie nouns”?RelationImprovementObservationReferenceApplicationDevelopmentConnectionAnalysisUtilizationVariabilityConformity