Defacto couples who marry have a 50% Higher divorce rate than those who just
marry
46% of Australian marriages break down46% of Australian marriages break downWomen initiate divorce 4 in 5 casesWomen initiate divorce 4 in 5 cases
75% of De facto couples separate after 4
years 25% separate after 1st 12 months
AUSTRALIAN EXAMPLE:AUSTRALIAN EXAMPLE:
30% of all marriages are likely to break down after 20 years
10% after 6 years…
Over the past decade, more than 75,000 marriages in Australia lasted less than 2
years.
Canada/USA…50% & 60% subsequent
DIVORCE ISSUESDIVORCE ISSUES…currently 43% to 50%
Declining stability of relationshipDeclining stability of relationship
Communication
Intimacy/FeelingsIntimacy/Feelings
Solving of issues
Engaging in difficult timesEngaging in difficult times
Feelings of Future
Parenting…Discipline & Values
Divorce Issues
Declining stability of relationship
Communication
Intimacy/Feelings
Solving of issues
Engaging in difficult times
Feelings of Future
““Marriage is not about romance. Marriage is not about romance.
It’s about reality.It’s about reality.
It is about lost car keys and lost jobs,
fuses blowing in the middle of breakfast,
children who get into trouble at school and
the untold trivia that make up the life of two
people together.”
Source: Sunday Life, The Sunday Age, April 1, 2001
TIPS FOR LONG TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIPRELATIONSHIP
GOALS - Short Term:GOALS - Short Term:
WeekendsWeekends
Movies Once a MonthMovies Once a Month
Kids…baby sitterKids…baby sitter
Work FutureWork Future
Renovations…improvements to you & Renovations…improvements to you & homehome
TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)
GOALS - Medium Term:GOALS - Medium Term:
Trips AwayTrips Away
Romantic WeekendsRomantic Weekends
Buy Something For ThemBuy Something For Them
Investments TogetherInvestments Together
House/WhereHouse/Where
Plan 5 Years Ahead For General StuffPlan 5 Years Ahead For General Stuff
TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)TIPS FOR LONG RELATIONSHIP (cont.)
GOALS - Long Term:GOALS - Long Term:
Semi RetirementSemi Retirement
RetreatRetreat
Overseas TripOverseas Trip
Trip Around AustraliaTrip Around Australia
GrandchildrenGrandchildren
TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPSTIPS FOR RELATIONSHIPS
Make Love…Good sex regularlyKiss your partner with Passion Romance your partner X 2ayear Dinner with Family once a week Timeout from work for SELF & Family
YES…YES…means Relationships GROWmeans Relationships GROW
TIPS FOR MORE SEXTIPS FOR MORE SEX
Use Mobile…ET Phone HomeUse Mobile…ET Phone Home
DinnersDinners
SurprisesSurprises
Flowers
Date
Plan Little Things
Attend Kids Sport/FunctionsAttend Kids Sport/Functions
Stuff Around The House Stuff Around The House
eg: Vacuum, Ironingeg: Vacuum, Ironing
www.cyberkisses.cowww.cyberkisses.comm
Males Play an Important Role
Parenting ..... Is a PartnershipParenting ..... Is a Partnership
Don’t undermine each other
Set ... Rules...Standards
& Expectations Together
TIPS FOR PARENTINGTIPS FOR PARENTING Clear Rules Clear Standards Set Standards Set Attitudes Set Parenting Limits
Helps to make Parenting Easier... Helps to make Parenting Easier... even for Separated Parentseven for Separated Parents
Remember All Kids need Boundaries
...Kids see Parenting as...LOVE...Kids see Parenting as...LOVE
PositiveDiscipline
ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT HOMEHOME
We are responsible for changing
and modifying unacceptable
behaviour.
We are responsible for developing
good social behavioural
outcomes.
RELATIONSHIPSRELATIONSHIPSWhat’s ImportantWhat’s Important• Communication• Connection• Understanding the other person• Real feelings• Mateship• Friendship• Supportive But not always Fixing• Consideration• Affection• Above all….. that they know your LOVEAbove all….. that they know your LOVE
Divorced Parenting Divorced Parenting
Don’t undermine the other parent
Set ... Rules…Standards
Plan stuff/holidays/their space
Keep to the rules
Have fun with the kids
Understand their CONFUSION
Remember…it will be hard
ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT
HOMEHOME
The Fridge...& Teenager
Rules for Going Out
…MUM & DAD rules
ROLE MODELLING AT ROLE MODELLING AT
HOMEHOME
The Fridge...Great Place
for Writing Up…
Rules & Outcomes
The GoodThe Good
The The BadBad
And... The The UglyUgly
Do with kids…What they think…Accept & Work through..NO Debating
The Thoughts of our kids
ADOLESCENTSADOLESCENTS
Our FutureOur Future
Top 10 Issues - ComparisonTop 10 Issues - Comparison CENTRAL VICTORIA & CANADA…BOYSCENTRAL VICTORIA & CANADA…BOYS
CentralVictoria
Issue Canada Issue
1 Sex 1 Relationships2 Relationships 2 Sex3 Dating 3 Social Skills4 Dealing with girls 4 Dating, Jobs for Me5 Sexuality / intimacy 5 Drinking6 Drinking 6 Sexuality/Intimacy7 Jobs for me 7 Living together8 Social skills 8 Talking to Teachers9 Career Paths 9 Knowledge
10 Being a bloke 10 Emotions/Depression
Year 10 Boys and Girls Experiences
87%
69%
40%33%
19% 18%
87%80%
52%
31% 29%24%
0%
20%
40%
60%
80%
100%
% o
f Y
es
resp
on
ses
Boys
Girls
CENTRAL VICTORIACENTRAL VICTORIACombined Boys and GirlsCombined Boys and Girls
Unsafe Sex ….Unsafe Sex ….
Reasons For Not Practicing Safe Sex
48%
21%
9%5%
17%
48%
22%
7% 8%
15%
0%
10%
20%
30%
40%
50%
60%
Affected bydrink / drugs
Forgot a condom Pressure not to Think it’s betterw ithout acondom
Other
% o
f R
es
po
ns
es
Girls
Boys
MESSAGE FROM KIDSMESSAGE FROM KIDS
Know your Kids
Know their Friends Names
Invite Their Friends Over
Family Dinners
Timeout Together