Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
April/May 2016
Manager, Training and DevelopmentOffice of Human Resources
Presented by Kevin R. Thomas
Can We Talk?Creating the Conditions for
Dialog
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• Initiate and conduct productive conversations aboutuncomfortable topics with coworkers, to:– Increase trust– Solve problems– Create a positive work environment
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Objectives
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• Participation• Listening• A Note on Confidentiality
Ground Rules
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• What kinds of conversations are difficult?• What makes them
difficult?
You Write the Slide
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
The Fight/Flight Response in the Workplace
• Social needs are primary needs• We experience a “threat response” to the prospect of
risking damage to social relationships.• Threats trigger our brains’ flight or fight response.• We are likely to experience a desire to avoid or delay
these conversations –OR- “Have it out” with people in a way that is counterproductive.
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• Start with safer topics and safer people• Learn from experience• Develop confidence• Work your way towards
more difficult conversations
Practice Makes Perfect
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
Difficult Conversation Done RightWhat strategies were used?How did they handle emotions?
http://youtu.be/R_SeQQTpVeE
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
“Can we take a minute to talk to something that’s a concern to me? I think we’d both benefit from the discussion.”
Open an Inquiry
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
“I don’t want to do it needlessly either …. If you see it differently, I’d like to hear your view.”
Demonstrate Support
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
Ladders of Inference
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
“We’ve been over these points before, you don’t seem to disagree with them. That makes me wonder if the reason you want to forgo the limo is to avoid having to justify the expense to corporate, even if it might be a wise decision.”
Share Your Ladder of Inference
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
“Is that part of what’s going on here, or am I jumping to conclusions? … If you see it differently I’d like to hear your view.”
Invite them to share their perspective
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• Often people rush to solutions too quickly.
• Focus on small steps that could make things a bit better.
• Ensure both parties are generating ideas.
• Make commitments clear and concrete.
• Schedule a time to check in about progress.
Solutions focused conversations
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
• Break into groups • Read the case study• Should the protagonist
talk to anyone?• Who?• How should the
protagonist start the conversation?
Case Study Discussions
1Lunch Room
Trouble
2Little Help?
3Awkward Meetings
4Odd
Coworker
Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for DialogKevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · [email protected] · 413-597-3542
Links coming via email:
Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542or email [email protected]
Can We Talk?
Questions?
• Course page link to all course materials• Program evaluation link, feedback welcome
Creating the Conditions for Dialog