BAD ROMANCE f

Sure, we all love contemplating glistening Adonises, swashbuckling buccaneers, and loincloth-straining savages — but not as much as Uncle Walter does. Like feverish

magpies, Uncle Walter and his co-conspirator, The Wife, gather up the greatest pectoral excesses ever to grace a supermarket paperback and put them on display for all the

world to revel in at rottenromance.com. For our V-Day extravaganza, Uncle Walter has been kind enough to smear a little bit of that magic coconut oil on our humble rag. Behold,

some of his favorite romance-novel covers. For more bodice-ripping atrocities, check in with Uncle Walter and crew at their online haunt: covers.unclewaltersrants.com and

romance.unclewaltersrants.com, both havens for “disturbing, frightening, and completely real” covers and quotes from romance novels.