Download - Adec slide show ver2 2
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Susan Abel Lieberman, Ph.D.
Partner in the Y Collaborative
www.ycollaborative.com
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Before a crisis Loss and grief
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“Hanging on the edge of a precipice, engulfed in terror is
not the time or place
to learn about emergency rock climbing
procedures; you have to learn them before you start the
expedition.”
~Virginia Morris in TALKING ABOUT DEATH
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“Laying down synaptic pathways early shapes our thinking and helps us when we face circumstances that draw on those pathways. It would turn
out that short-term memory involves transient changes of the connections between the cells. There is no anatomical change. Long-term memory
involves enduring changes that result from the growth of new synaptic connections.”
~ Eric Kandel NYT 3/6/12
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• Paperwork of Dying
• Medical Issues Related to Dying
• Emotions/Desires/Wishes
• Spiritual Issues
• How to Talk with Doctors
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• WillWill
• Advance DirectiveAdvance Directive
•Health Care ProxyHealth Care Proxy
• Fioancial ProxyFioancial Proxy
• Funeral InclinationsFuneral Inclinations
• And, perhaps, a supplemental letterAnd, perhaps, a supplemental letter
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“Everybody becomes enormously selfish. They don’t know they are selfish. They are all thinking they’re doing what’s best
for the dying person. But what each member of a family does and what the doctor does is always try to figure out
what seems the best from his own point of view.”
~ Sherwin Nuland, How We Die
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Five Ways to Start a Conversation
1. Using your paperwork
2. Asking for conversation as a gift
3. Telling a story about friends or acquaintances
4. Using family legacy as a jumpstart
5. Five Wishes
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• We remember the old saying: Si vis pacem, para bellum. If you desire peace, prepare for war.
• It would timely thus to paraphrase it: Si vis vitam, para mortem. If you would endure life, be prepared for death.
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• If you deceive to your doctor, may your doctor then deceive you?
• Be clear in the conversation about what worries you.
• Remember, no good doc will object to a second opinion. If your doctor objects to questions, consider a new doctor if possible.
• You can direct the tenor of your conversations by speaking authentically but always politely.
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Spiritual intelligence is acting with our
highest level of intellect and our highest
level of compassion while maintaining
inner and outer equanimity regardless
of circumstances.~
Cindy Wigglesworth, Deep Change
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