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Allies in the Fight
Working for Justice with Clients
and Communities
Dr. Sheila Addison, LMFThttp://www.drsheilaaddison.com
Presented at AAMFT 2017, Atlanta, GA
Including slides from Sara Smollett & Valerie Aurora w/permission - https://frameshiftconsulting.com/ally-skills-workshop/
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Who am I?
• MFT working with clients for 20
years, specializing in couples, sex, &
diversity
• Teacher & trainer on LGBTQIA+
issues, sexuality, & diversity
• Completed “Train the Trainer” for the
Ally Skills Workshop; trained at
companies including Google Dr. Sheila Addison
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Learning Objectives
• Based on the content of the session, I am able to…
• Describe the effects of recent political rhetoric on
vulnerable clients and families.
• Articulate strategies for identifying and addressing overt
and covert fears of vulnerable clients in session.
• Generate specific strategies for engaging in allyship in
my communities when more vulnerable people are the
targets of discrimination, marginalization, or abuse.
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People are feeling vulnerable
http://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMms1702111 https://csbs.csusb.edu/sites/csusb_csbs/files/Levin%20DOJ%20Summit%202.pdf
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People are feeling vulnerable
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Focus: On Allies
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Terminology
Privilege: an unearned advantage given by society to some people but not all
Oppression: systemic, pervasive inequality that is present throughout society, that benefits people with more privilege and harms those with fewer privileges
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Terminology
Target: someone who suffers from oppression (also called "a member of a marginalized group")
Ally: a member of a social group that enjoys some privilege that is working to end oppression and understand their own privilege
Actions
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Example
Privilege: The ability to walk into a convenience
store and have the owner assume you are
there to buy things and not steal them
Oppression: The self-reinforcing system of
stories, TV, news coverage, and legal system
stereotyping Black people as criminals, that
benefits non-Black people and harms Black
people
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Example
Target: Any Black person who wants
to enter a convenience store
Ally: A non-Black person who
donates to legal system reform
organizations, publicly opposes
racist policies and actions, votes in
anti-racist ways, & reads articles
about this privilege to understand it
better
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Diversity & inclusion
Diversity: The state of having people in a
group who differ along race, gender,
sexuality, age, disability, religion, class,
caregiver status, etc.
Inclusion: Everyone in a diverse group is
valued, included, and respected, without
unfair discrimination or bias
CC BY Steve Garry
https://flic.kr/p/2TTztX
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Diversity & inclusion
An individual can’t be “diverse” -
diversity exists only in the
context of a group
Many efforts focus on increasing
diversity without also
increasing inclusion
CC BY Senorhorst Jahnsen
https://flic.kr/p/5QSiBv
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Diversity & inclusion
• Volunteer-run affinity groups
• Minority scholarships
• Advice books aimed at targets
• Volunteer-run mentoring programs
• Recruiting outreach
• Conferences or discussion boards for marginalized groups
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Diversity & inclusion
Most work is aimed at changing
behavior of targets
Less work is aimed at changing
behavior of targeters & allies
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Changing targets’ bx?
• Targets:
• Directly benefit from change and are more
self-motivated
• Are often more aware of oppression
• Are often lower status and easier to tell
what to do
• Are seen as the cause of the problem
• Avoids confronting feelings of guilt
in privileged people
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What about the targeters?
• Targeters:
• Have “something to lose” if their behavior has to change
• Are able to ignore others’ oppression
• Are often higher status and harder to tell what to do
• Are good at deflecting blame… and backed up by institutional inertia
• Calls for change make powerful people feel bad
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What about the targeters?
• E.g. Sexual harassment
• Let’s make a safe space for victims
• Let’s educate them on their rights
• Rather than let’s change the bad
behavior of powerful people
• And let’s get other powerful people to
call them out on it
• Targets are easier to… target!
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Targets are overworked
© RKO Pictures
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Targets are under more stress
• Stereotype threat
• Discrimination
• Harassment
• Abuse
• Assault
• PTSD
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Targets have less money
87%: Asian women vs. white men
79%: Lesbian couples vs. men married to women
78%: white women vs. white men
73%: Black men vs. white men
73%: mothers vs. fathers
66%: trans women vs. their pre-transition income
65%: Black women vs. white men
63%: people with disabilities vs. those without
58%: Latinas vs. white men
More likely to have unpaid caregiver responsibilities
CC BY Tax Credits
https://flic.kr/p/bZwHv5
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Targets are retaliated against
"[...] Ethnic minority or female leaders who engage in diversity-valuing behavior are penalized with worse performance ratings; whereas [white] or male leaders who engage in diversity-valuing behavior are not penalized for doing so."- Hekman, Johnson, Yang & Maw Der
Foo (2016)
Does valuing diversity result in worse performance ratings for minority and female leaders? http://amj.aom.org/content/early/2016/03/03/amj.2014.0538.abstract
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Targets have less power & influence
• < 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs are people of color
• < 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women
• “Smurfette Principle” – K. Pollitt
• TV shows have all-male casts with one woman
• “The probability that a woman occupies a top management team position is 51 percent lower if another woman holds a position on the same team.” – Deszo, Ross, & Uribe, 2015
• Small programs “can’t have two” (queer people, POC, people with a diversity focus, etc.) CC BY-SA Bruno Girin
https://flic.kr/p/4Mv4o2
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Targets are demeaned for speaking out
A response to an article I wrote on my blog about using privilege
to make things better for targeted people:
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“Just be peaceful.” And yet…
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Allies have more time and energy
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Allies have more money
CC BY Pictures of Money https://flic.kr/p/s6895e
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Allies are often in the majority
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Allies have more power & influence
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Allies aren't harmed for valuing diversity
CC BY Vic https://flic.kr/p/8v6v22
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Allies = “altruistic, giving, kind”
CC BY Kat Ter Haar https://flic.kr/p/8ugZks
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Why are allies needed?
• Even in 2017:
• Our workplaces, training programs, and
conferences can still be sites of injury,
exclusion, and silencing for vulnerable people.
• While many therapists, supervisors, and faculty
understand the effects of oppression, few are
prepared to directly intervene as allies in the
moment when others experience it
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Why are allies needed?
• What are some examples of
exclusion, micro- or macro-
aggressions, harmful policies,
bullying/hurtful interaations, etc.
you’ve seen or heard about in your
professional settings?
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A theory of allies
• Privileged people have advantages in fighting oppression
• “Difference” models de-emphasize power• Better than “colorblindness”
(sameness)
• Not all have equal access
• Not all are equally impacted
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A theory of allies
• Crenshaw’s intersectionality
suggests: most people have some
identities that are privileged, even
as others are devalued
• Therapists, faculty, and supervisors
all occupy positions of power
relative to clients, students, and
supervisees… so…
• Strategies for ally work
should be part of all family
therapists’ skill sets
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Ally = action?
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Ally = action
The active ally uses their relative power to block, frustrate, and underminesystems that harm those who are less powerful
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Ally development
Dr. Karen Bradberry
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An ally self-educates
CC BY mer chau https://flic.kr/p/e2n2zi
• Investing time and $
• Doing the work to
“keep up”
• Not asking to be
“spoon fed”
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An ally listens
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An ally listens
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An ally gives credit
• Women get less credit with tenure
committees for co-authoring, even as
first author!*
• Example: Whenever possible, credit
legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw by
name when using the term
"intersectionality" (the concept that
people can be subject to multiple,
overlapping forms of oppression, which
interact and intersect with each other)
* http://scholar.harvard.edu/sarsons/publications/note-gender-differences-recognition-group-work
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An ally gives credit
https://storify.com/cisnormativity/the-genderbread-plagiarist
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An ally gives credit
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Allies ask for consent from targets
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Allies ask for consent from targets
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Allies ask for consent from targets
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Allies ask for consent from targets
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Allies ask for consent from targets
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… and follow their lead
• Want to start something? See
who got there before you
• You might not get the credit
• You might give up control
• Allies aren’t the
experts – targets are
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… and follow their lead
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Allies keep the focus on helping targets
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… even when it’s uncomfortable
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… even when it’s uncomfortable
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An ally uses their energy wisely
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Charles’ Rules of Argument
1. Don't go looking for an argument
2. State your position once, speaking to the audience
3. Wait for absurd replies
4. Reply one more time to correct any
misunderstandings of your first statement
5. Do not reply again
6. Spend time doing something fun instead
http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Charles%27_Rules_of_Argument
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An ally spends money
CC BY-SA Japanexperterna.se https://flic.kr/p/srsFmV
• Donate $
• Pay people
• Train people
• Fund scholarships
• Money flows toward
marginalized people
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… including for invisible/emotional labor
• Review an org’s office forms to see if
they’re LGBTQ+ friendly
• Serve on the “diversity committee” in
addition to the job duties I shared with
everyone else in the org
• Do a training on sizeism and fat-phobia
for everyone, and then work my normal
hours the rest of the day
• Serve on dissertation committees while
working as an adjunct, for no pay,
because no one else had my “special
expertise”
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An ally uses connections & social capital
• Professional
connections
• Friends & family
• Social media
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An ally sacrifices personal gain
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An ally makes mistakes - & apologizes
CC BY butupa https://flic.kr/p/95iJuo
“Sorry about that. Thank you.”
“I’ll try to do better next time.”
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An ally practices cultural humility
• Humility: “Having a sense that one’s own knowledge is limited as to what truly is another’s culture.” (Hook et al. 2013)
• Life-long commitment to self-evaluation & critique• Staying open to new information
• Wrestling with the tendency to view one’s own beliefs, values, and worldview as superior
• Willingness to hear “you don’t get it”
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The Ally Skills Workshop
• Co-founder and executive director of the Ada
Initiative, non-profit for women in open
tech/culture
• Founder: Frame Shift Consulting
• 10+ years volunteer work with international
groups such as Geek Feminism, etc.
• Taught Ally Skills workshop in Spain, Germany,
Australia, Ireland, Canada, Mexico, and U.S.
• Linux OS & file systems developer for 10+ years
Valerie Aurora
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This is not the Ally Skills Workshop!
• This is a one-hour talk
about why it’s valuable
to act as allies
• The Ally Skills
Workshop is 3 hours
long, mostly group
discussion
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Ally models – Ally Skills Workshop
• Developed to combat sexism in tech
workplaces & conferences
• Now can address: racism,
homophobia & heterosexism,
transphobia & cissexism, fatphobia &
sizeism, caregiver discrimination,
religious & cultural stereotyping,
ageism, etc.
• Skills practice for intervening in
situations as an ally, not as a target
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Ally models – Ally Skills Workshop
• ASW process:
• Real-world scenario
• Small group discussion of what actions to
take
• Group report-out
• Discussion led by the facilitator.
• Each workshop discusses around 6-8
customized scenarios.
• Participants learn ally skills by practicing them
during the discussion: listening, amplifying
voices, identifying patterns, and more.
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Ally models – Ally Skills Workshop
• Get in groups of 4-6
• Next birthday: note taker
• Most recent birthday: reporter
• Most ribbons: facilitator
• Best shoes: timekeeper
• Goal: discuss what actions you would
take in this scenario
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Ally models – Ally Skills Workshop
• A woman you don’t know who is
wearing a headscarf is standing near
your group at a conference. She is
alone and looks like she would
rather be talking to people.
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Ally models – Ally Skills Workshop
• Materials freely reusable; train-the-trainers
also available
• More about the ASW here:
• http://drsheilaaddison.com/allyskills/
• https://frameshiftconsulting.com/ally-skills-
workshop/
• Follow @frameshiftllc on Twitter for
book-related news
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Ally models - SURJ
• SURJ: Showing up for Racial Justice• National network of groups &
individuals organizing white people for racial justice
• Identifies links between racial injustice and other forms of injustice
• Raises funds for POC-led organizations & actions
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Ally models - SURJ
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Ally models - SURJ
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Ally models - SURJ
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Ally models - SURJ
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Ally models - SURJ
• See: “SURJ Kaepernick Conversation Guide” in
your handout
• In groups of 2-4, discuss:
• What objections to “taking a knee” have you heard?
• Which of these responses might be helpful?
• What would that be like for you?
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In conclusion
• Most diversity and inclusion efforts focus on targets
• Targets have less time, energy, power, and influence
• Allies have more ability to make change
• Ally skills can be learned
Let’s focus on allies