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R o b i n P o r e c k y
A P a t h l e s s L a n d
Austin Macauley
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Copyright R o b i n P o r e c k y
The right of Robin Porecky to be identified as author of
this work has been asserted by him in accordance with section 77
and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 188!
A"" rights reser#ed! $o part of this pub"ication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrie#a" system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means, e"ectronic, mechanica", photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the
pub"ishers!
Any person who commits any unauthori%ed act in re"ation to thispub"ication may be "iab"e to crimina" prosecution and ci#i" c"aims
for damages!
This book is a work of fiction! $ames, characters and e#ents are
the product of the author&s imagination! Any resemb"ance to
actua" persons, "i#ing or dead, is pure"y coincidenta"!
A C'P cata"ogue record for this tit"e is
a#ai"ab"e from the (ritish )ibrary!
ISBN 978 1 905609 581
www!austinmacau"ey!com
*irst Pub"ished +--8.
Austin / 0acau"ey Pub"ishers )td!
Canada 23uare
Canary 4harf)ondon
516 )(
Printed / (ound in reat (ritain
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D e d i c a t i o n
To my fami"y, who in their own, #ery specia" ways,ha#e gi#en me the support ' needed so much!
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A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S
' wish to acknow"edge my debt of gratitude to
0y friends, (o and uni""a 5ricsson, for drawing myattention to 9Through Arctic )ap"and& by Cutc"iffe
:ines +A/C ("ack! 188., the e;traordinary accountof two 5ng"ishmen who in 187, the year in which myno#e" is set, succeeded in crossing part of )ap"anddespite being "udicrous"y i""okkmokk, on 2ami kni#es!
Patricia A""eridge&s book 9(eth"ehem :ospita" 167iddu @rishnamurti +18
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CHAPTER 1
The snow was "ate that year in )ap"and, but the chi"" wind across
the height was a reminder it wou"d not be "ong de"ayed! The
mountains, from where it came, had ne#er comp"ete"y yie"ded to
the summer, and the white streaks in the protected gu""ies were
conspicuous against the greyness of the bare ridges, as though the
peaks had been c"awed, "ea#ing b"eached scars! (eneath these
agged ramparts which fanned out around the distant hori%on, the
fe""s stretched themse"#es, empty and decepti#e"y f"at! The two
men, diminished by this uninhabited #astness, wa"ked in
procession, the ranking senior first, the younger unior behind,
their paces in#o"untari"y fo""owing the drumbeats which broke a
si"ence that might otherwise ha#e been unbearab"e for them! They
were accustomed to a "ife of cities, bui"dings, roads and carriages,
the noise of socia" intercourse! Their ci#i"i%ed ignorance of thewi"derness made it especia""y threatening, for they preferred
man&s taming fingerprint to be upon the "and, and they were
dressed in b"ack frock coats and pa"er trousers as if they had
ne#er "eft the (ritish 5mbassy in 2tockho"m! Their winged co""ars
stiffened their necks against the unknown, and on"y the awkward
way in which they fumb"ed their top hats re#ea"ed the uncertainty
each tried to concea" from the other! 2hou"d they be on their heads
as some protection against the insects sti"" remaining from the
summer heat, risking the indignity of a chase when, as seemedine#itab"e, the wind wou"d send them bow"ing across the steppeE
=r shou"d they carry them against their breasts as might be more
proper on a so"emn occasionE
0orris, the younger man, fina""y "ooked to the :ead of
Chancery for guidance and 4ainwright did not "et him down!
Combing his white whiskers with the fingers of one hand to
dis"odge something a"i#e which had become entang"ed there, he
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c"asped his hat to his chest with the other and strode forward!
0orris, two steps behind him, admired his reso"ution! :e knew
that 4ainwright, on the brink of his retirement, considered the
who"e e;pedition a "udicrous impropriety and in his heart he
doubt"ess b"amed it a"" on 0orris! (ut the Ambassador had sided
with the unior man and had demanded c"osure of a matter that
had become unfortunateF and when 0orris recei#ed the message
from the )app, 4ainwright agreed to o#ersee a proper reso"ution!
(oth had assumed they wou"d be conducted by a person, but the
message, 9fo""ow the drum,& had pro#ed more "itera" than
e;pected! As soon as they had reached the ochre
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they were there! 5ach stared at the other in momentary
bewi"derment before each face assumed its usua" passi#ity! Then
they stared at the rocks, twice their height, and cautious"y began
to circ"e them!
(efore they reached the edge where the water began its "ong
descent, a sing"e rock had been mo#ed aside and they cou"d see
into the dim interior of what they now rea"ised was a carefu""y
constructed ho""ow cairn of significant si%e! The f"owing water
had scored a channe" through its centre, "ea#ing the areas on either
side dry and forested with pa"e dead birches, wedged upright
between the ape; and the rock f"oor "ike some magica" fairy story
i""ustration! 4here the bark had been pee"ed there were primiti#ei""ustrations of gods, sun symbo"s, hunting and fishing scenes and
other e#ents to be rememberedF and suspended from the branches,
and sometimes from the trunks, there were other obects, possib"y
ritua" or ta"ismanic! (oth saw at once what they were meant to
see!
2acri"ege,B said 4ainwright with weary disgust! 't was, '
suppose, to be e;pected!B
't is certain"y bi%arre,B said 0orris guarded"y, "ooking more
c"ose"y!' suppose there is no doubtEB
$one!B
4ainwright stepped from the entrance and ha"f turned away!
' wonder what rea""y happenedEB he mused!
' doubt if we sha"" e#er know,B said 0orris, oining him!
The ourney must ha#e been horrific, and it may be fortunate for
a"" who knew them that the detai"s wi"" remain obscure!B
' cannot concei#e how anybody in his right mind wou"d
want to come to such a godforsaken "and!B0orris "ooked at him, and 4ainwright nodded s"ow"y! Ges, '
see,B he said! $o one in his right mind wou"d!B There was a
pause and then he added, Gou were in#o"#ed in organising the
rescue, were you notEB
' was,B admitted 0orris, and it sti"" troub"es me! 4e had to
act, the 2wedes were adamant, but he was at schoo" with me and '
regret that ' in#o"#ed him!B
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4ainwright frowned, instincti#e"y disappro#ing of tardy
regret which was of its nature unproducti#e! They were "ost a
"ongish time, and one, as you reminded me, was 3uite unstab"e!
Perhaps both, in #iew of what we now know! (ut that is no e;cuse
for this,B and he gesticu"ated behind him at the rocks!
Their Christianity is sti"" on"y on the surface,B answered
0orris awkward"y! :owe#er we may #iew it, it is possib"e this
was intended as a mark of their respect! 't is e#en possib"eHB :e
paused, uncertain that he shou"d continue!
Gou&d better say it,B 4ainwright muttered, sighing! 4e
ha#e to make our decision on a"" the e#idence!B
This isn&t e#idence,B said 0orris, somewhat embarrassed!The 2wedes wi"" not want to know, and it wou"d need"ess"y upset
the church hierarchy if they were to"d! The )apps, '&m certain,
wi"" ne#er speak of it, at "east not open"y! (ut ' fancy by now that
both, or one at "east, may ha#e become part of their mytho"ogy,
e#en inc"uded in the pantheon of their deities!B
4ainwright stared at him in a"arm, and he added 3uick"y,
They do not "ook for perfection in their gods, they ust accept
that they are there!B
And we are here,B rep"ied 4ainwright with some asperity,brushing aside his unior&s inappropriate de"#ing into paganism!
A decision is re3uired! =ur masters want no comp"ications, so in
my #iew the simp"est way is best! Are we agreed upon the
answerEB
0orris nodded! Agreed,B he said! (ut do you not fee" we
shou"d mark in some way that we were hereEB
That what we represent was here,B corrected 4ainwright,
and 0orris opened his pocket knife and car#ed into a short "ength
of fa""en birch Iictoria Dei ra! (ritt! ReginaB and added 187!4ith 4ainwright&s appro#a" he p"aced it inside the opening, and
both men brief"y bowed their heads to mark it as an officia"
ceremony!
' wonder whether the drummer is sti"" watching usEB 3ueried
4ainwright when they had strugg"ed up the s"ope and begun the
tiring wa"k towards the shimmering ribbon of the recent"y "aid
rai"way "ine!
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' e;pect he wi"" watch us unti" we are safe"y on our way to
2tockho"m!B
Gou knew him, ' supposeEB
:e was he"pfu" to me in bringing them together!B
4e shou"d ne#er ha#e "et ourse"#es become in#o"#ed,B said
4ainwright ref"ecti#e"y! ' can say it now that it is o#er! The
)apps are a 2wedish prob"em and, e#en if an 5ng"ishman
becomes embroi"ed with them, the 2wedes shou"d take
responsibi"ity!B
(ut wou"d it be right for us to turn our backs upon a difficu"t
situationEB
'sn&t that precise"y what we ha#e been doing here, thisafternoonEB answered 4ainwright brus3ue"y, and without a
g"ance behind him he 3uickened his pace towards the sma"" red
f"ag where in an hour the train from @iruna wou"d stop for them,
and start them on their "ong way south to the order"y comforts of
the (ritish 5mbassy!
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CHAPTER 2
There had been so many beginnings, but the one which remained
in 0artin >anow&s mind was 0r 2nowba""&s b"ush! :e was a dry
and dusty man, drooping, "ike his moustache, in a dry and dusty
room tucked to one side of the rand 2taircase in the (ritish
0useum, and b"ushing was un"ike him! =fficia""y he was
Assistant in the Department of (ritish and 0ediae#a" Anti3uities
and 5thnography, but he had been shunted sideways so often he
had become uncoup"ed from that department and e#entua""y, to
e#eryone&s surprise, not "east his own, had himse"f ac3uired an
empire! 't was a sma"" empire, and "itt"e #isited, for some cu"tures
were not popu"ar, and they became the care of 0r 2nowba""! =f
these, (y%antine shou"d ha#e been at "east a "arge co""ection, but
typica""y the finest of the artefacts were spread around! >ewe"s and
go"d went to the Room of o"d =rnaments and ems, i#orycar#ings to the 0edie#a" Room, and the most attracti#e items
bearing symbo"s of Christ found a "egitimate p"ace in the
Christian Room! This encouraged the 5gyptian and Assyrian
Anti3uities to appropriate the many nostic gems, whi"e the
e;tensi#e co""ection of (y%antine "ead sea"s was conured away by
the Department of 0anuscripts! *ina""y, embo"dened by the
success of such ethnographic "ooting, the Department of reek
and Roman Anti3uities c"aimed a"" the mosaic pa#ements! The
"ea#ings, or 0inor Arts as they were ca""ed, inc"uding pottery"amps, bron%e weights and stone sepu"chra" monuments, passed to
0r 2nowba"", housed in a "itt"e room without the new e"ectric
"ighting that had b"a%ed in the 5;hibition a""eries since 18-!
And there for years he tended them, and studied them, and "arge"y
passed from the memory of his co""eagues! Then, to their
consternation, he "aid before them a short paper, inf"uenced by
5uropean thinking, which cha""enged )ecky&s (ritish udgement
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that (y%antium constituted the most thorough"y base and
despicab"e form that ci#i"i%ation has yet assumed!B :e fo""owed
this with a monograph about the pieces in his care, and though it
was read on"y by the @eeper and the Principa" )ibrarian, and was
ne#er pub"ished, it occasioned a faceewish bastard son of a Po"ish count! 0ore difficu"t
sti"", in front of 0r 2nowba"", was his assertion that he was atra#e""er of much e;perience, in contrast to the fact that he had not
once "eft 5ng"and since he had oined his father there at the age of
eight! (ut 0r 2nowba"", in his eagerness to demonstrate the
difference between a 0atabe"e spear and one that wou"d be
carried by a Ju"u, noticed nothing about his #isitor any more than
0artin, obsessi#e"y concerned about himse"f, had scrutinised him!
2o, each b"ind to the rea"ity of the other, a curious bond was
formed! 0r 2nowba"" took the ro"e of earnest deferentia" teacher,
0artin the wea"thy seeker after know"edgeF and each, thinkinghimse"f a fai"ure, was warmed by the esteem the other he"d him
in!
A year "ater, 0artin was #isiting him again! :e had been
se#era" times after his return from Africa to pass on e;aggerated
and occasiona""y not e#en truthfu" accounts of his ourney, but 0r
2nowba"" had recei#ed them a"" with gratitude, together with the
knobkerrie and (antu shie"d which 0artin presented to the
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museum and thus to 0r 2nowba""! (ut now he re3uired
know"edge again, and had chosen one of the 2unday afternoon
openings in 0ay which wou"d a""ow 0r 2nowba"" the time to
prepare a sma"" disp"ay of )app artefacts! *or 0artin had decided
he wou"d #isit northern 2weden ne;t, "ater in the summerF and as
he sprang up the rand 2taircase, forgetting for a moment that he
was o"der than he was, he fe"t an eagerness that was rare for him!
'n genera" he fe"t his "ife was empty, and so a day with a specific
aim in#igorated him! 0r 2nowba"" awaited him with an
enthusiasm that matched his own, though deep inside there was a
fear he might ha#e compromised the re"ationship, and knew that
confession of an o#er
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the "ate se#enteenth century! The drums were an anathema to the
Christians, who fe"t that they were magic, and probab"y b"ack
magic at that!B
4ere they destroyedEB
0any were, not ust by the priests but by the 2hamans
themse"#es in preference to gi#ing them up! (ut others were
mere"y confiscated, and se#era" 2wedes co""ected them, inc"uding
the botanist Car" #on )innaeus!B
2o there are none "eft nowE ' shan&t see anyEB
0r 2nowba"" put his finger beside his bony nose and "owered
his #oice! ' be"ie#e they are made in secret, and used, but the
church is sti"" against them!B:ow were they usedEB
The drumming put the 2haman into a trance which enab"ed
him to tra#e" to the wor"d of the spirits to get he"p for his peop"e,
or information about the weather, sources of food, predators
threatening their herds, the chances of success in the hunt! 't is
e#en said he cou"d #isit the rea"m of the dead!B
Gou don&t disappro#e of heathen be"iefsEB
0r 2nowba"" "ooked at 0artin carefu""y, as though he were
weighing the trust he cou"d put in him!=#er many years of study ' ha#e come to respect be"iefs that
may be contrary to my own,B he answered fina""y!
Did the )apps become ChristianEB
$ot wi""ing"y, but to an e;tent it has been accomp"ished! The
2wedes used an interesting system of con#ersion, taking )app
chi"dren away from their parents, putting them into boarding
schoo"s and bringing them up as )utherans, then sending them
home to con#ert their fami"ies!B
2o ' am un"ike"y to see rea" )app "ife and customsEB'n the far north where you are going their "ife wi"" not ha#e
changed as much as many be"ie#e! 't sti"" is centred round the
reindeer, as it a"ways has been, and gi#en such continuity it&s hard
to ob"iterate a cu"ture!B
'&m g"ad to hear that,B said 0artin more warm"y than he had
intended, for he was thinking of the >ews!
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0r 2nowba""&s face "it up! ', too, am g"ad,B he confided
3uiet"y! Then, as if 0artin&s admission had fina""y gi#en him the
courage to admit his own transgression, he added, ' hope,
sincere"y, that ' ha#e not o#erstepped the mark, but ' had two
#isitors "ast week, interested in 2wedish )ap"and, and ' took the
"iberty, the considerab"e "iberty, ' fear, of mentioning your
forthcoming tra#e"s there! ' did not, of course, gi#e them your
name, ' do assure you of that, but simp"y to"d them you were a
gent"eman of discretion, with much e;perience of the wi"der
regions of our wor"dB
And did they think ' was a madmanEB
$o, no, they were e;treme"y interested! 5specia""y the young"ady!B And it was at this moment 0r 2nowba"" b"ushed a sunset
red!
A young "adyEB 3ueried 0artin de"icate"y, pretending to
study the drum again to a#oid embarrassing him further by
watching his discomfiture!
The daughter of the re#erend gent"eman, whom she was
accompanying!B 0r 2nowba"" e;p"ained! :e reached into his
waistcoat pocket and produced a card! Canon 4armouth asked
that ' shou"d gi#e you this, and hoped, hoped #ery earnest"y, thatyou wou"d #isit him in )inco"n, or a""ow him to come to you in
)ondon!B
Did the Canon a"one hope this, or did the young "ady, his
daughter, hope it tooEB
The young "ady, and ' reca"" it #ery c"ear"y, was e#en more
persistent! ' formed the impression that meeting you was a matter
of great importance to her! ' may, of course, ha#e been mistaken!B
(ut you do not think you wereEB
$o!BAnd this young "ady, was she, perhaps, if ' may put it
de"icate"y, rather un"ike the many worthy daughters of the c"ergy
that one seesEB
'n this du"" room she seemed to me to be a beam of
sunshine,B said 0r 2nowba"", hushing his #oice as he mo#ed onto
the unfami"iar ground of poetry! 2o fu"" of youth and beauty, so
golden!B
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Gou recommend, then, that ' take up their in#itation, and
#isit them in )inco"nEB
=h yes,B said 0r 2nowba"" earnest"y, ' do indeed!B And
then he smi"ed and added, The cathedra" there is of particu"ar
interest!B
Then ' sha"" go there,B answered 0artin, throwing himse"f
into a chair and taking out his notebook and a penci"! And now
you must prepare me for my )ap"and ourney!B
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CHAPTER 3
During his ourney to )inco"n on the second day of 0ay 0artin
was so busy thinking about the Canon&s daughter and imagining
romantic episodes that he did not once consider ways to end his
"ife, his usua" preoccupation when tra#e""ing by coach! :e
enoyed the "urching motion that was often #io"ent, and a
substantia" tip a"ways ensured he had a forward facing corner seat!
There, maintaining the air of coo" dignity he had cu"ti#ated to
keep others at a distance, he wou"d stare at the passing
countryside and "et his mind escape into imaginings! Recent"y he
had obsessi#e"y searched for areas suitab"e for suicide, a
cha""enging task because the ru"es, his own, "aid down that either
his death must be undisco#ered or attributed to natura" causes! A
ri#er bank, deep"y undercut, wou"d suggest the possibi"ity of
forcing his foot between the underwater tree roots and drowning"ike a moored =phe"iaF a particu"ar"y tang"ed thicket wou"d a""ow
him to craw" ginger"y into the centre and there open his wrist
#eins with the pocket knife he kept honed to a ra%or edgeF an
e#ergreen tree with thick and drooping branches wou"d permit a
death by hanging in comp"ete sec"usion! :e cou"d not bear the
thought of peop"e knowing he had ki""ed himse"f, for then a""
those who had derided him, within his fami"y and at schoo",
wou"d fee" entire"y #indicated! A c"iff abo#e the sea, sheer down
into turbu"ent water, might be the best so"ution, especia""y if he"oaded his pockets with hea#y stones, but he was not keen on
heights! $or did he know whether he was serious"y considering
ending his "ife, or p"aying with the thought to gi#e himse"f the
comfort of a possib"e way out from a "ife that was increasing"y
meaning"ess! $othing he was, and nothing he did, was rea"! (ut
since the on"y way he wou"d disco#er whether he were serious
was to undertake the deed, he "eft the uncertainty in his mind
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where it aggra#ated the irreso"ute state that had been growing
since his father&s death! :e had not "o#ed him, or mourned his
passing in any way at a""F but ha#ing "ooked forward to his death
so eager"y, be"ie#ing it wou"d free him, he had been stunned to
disco#er that it made so sma"" a difference! The money he had
inherited ga#e him the socia" esteem he cra#ed, for unti" then he
had a"ways fe"t an outcastF but now that was rep"aced by the
suspicion he was "iked for his wea"th, and sti"" not for himse"f!
The con#iction that he wou"d ne#er be unhappy again was e3ua""y
short
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because of 0r 2nowba"", had brought him some re"ief! (ut there
was sti"" so much of each year to be fi""ed!
>ourneying to )inco"n, therefore, had been a new e;perience,
a ourney with a rea" purpose, to meet someone he did not know,
who wanted to meet him! Two peop"e, in fact, but he thought
more about the daughter than the Canon! The card he had been
gi#en indicated that 4armouth was the Principa" of 2aint
0atthias, a co""ege training Christian teachers, and 0artin cou"d
not concei#e why such a man wou"d wish to meet him, nor why
his daughter wou"d be so insistent that he come! 't suggested more
than a genera" interest in )ap"and, and he contented"y whi"ed
away the ourney time imagining count"ess possibi"ities, eachmore un"ike"y than the one before but a"" romantica""y intriguing!
:e conured up their "ikenesses, sketching them in his mind, then
a"tering, refining, and, a"ways dissatisfied, beginning again! :e
e#en had con#ersations with them in which he was unfai"ing"y
erudite and witty, arousing the Canon&s admiration and his
daughter&s shy and modest adoration! (y the time he saw the
distant si"houette of )inco"n, dominated by its cathedra" g"ittering
in the e#ening dri%%"e he had con#inced himse"f a new and
happier phase of "ife was dawning!:e got down at The 4hite :art, where, by "etter from
)ondon, he had booked the best rooms, and he ce"ebrated his
arri#a" with champagne, a fine dinner and a f"irtation with the
p"ump and cheerfu" chambermaid who seemed to promise more
than he cared to pursue that night, his mind being fu"" of the
daughter he wou"d meet ne;t day!
:e woke to sunshine, the noise of whee"s on the cobb"es, and
the cheerfu" chatter of #oices in the street outside! :e e;ercised
before the mirror, reassuring himse"f that his nose had on"y anaristocratic Po"ish prominence, and that his father&s tendency to
fat was, in his case, he"d in check! :e breakfasted, and pondered
his course of action! :e had not forewarned the Canon of his
arri#a", fearfu" as usua" that a"" might not be as it seemed, and
a""owing himse"f the possibi"ity of a change of mind! (ut now, his
new confidence undimmed, he took one of his cards and wrote
that he had recei#ed the message from 0r 2nowba"" and as he was
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in )inco"n #isiting the cathedra" he wou"d happi"y ca"" upon the
Canon at any time he cared to nominate! The porter to whom he
ga#e it for de"i#ery informed him that the co""ege was on"y up the
road, and he wou"d go at once and bring back a rep"y!
:e&s a fine gent"eman,B he added chatti"y, e#erybody
speaks we"" of him, and there&s not many round here you can say
that about!B
' sha"" #isit the cathedra",B said 0artin! Gou can gi#e me
his rep"y on my return!B
Gou&"" probab"y see his daughter there,B said the porter! 2he
passes the hote" on her way there a"most e#ery morning at this
time, and you can&t he"p noticing her, she&s such a bright andhappy young "ady!B
0artin nodded and went back to his rooms to make sure he
was "ooking as presentab"e as possib"e! :e then wa"ked to 0inster
Gard in some e;citement, "ooking at the bystanders instead of
a#oiding their ga%e, con#incing himse"f that what they saw was an
5ng"ishman, ta"" and strong"y bui"t, and not the frightened
schoo"boy who sti"" "urked within! 'n the fu"" g"are of the sun the
e;terior of the cathedra" seemed careworn, as if it had seen o#er
the centuries too much crue"ty, into"erance and greedF but onceinside he was gratified to find it fu"" of g"ory! There was that
formidab"e sense of god"y 3uietness engendered by eight hundred
years of prayer, the stones themse"#es impregnated with cease"ess
cries for bountifu" grace and abundant mercy, for charity that is
the bond of peace, and for unfai"ing "o#e! 2"ow"y he wa"ked
eastwards to the Ange" Choir and stationed himse"f beneath the
car#ed stone imp, the proper p"ace, he fe"t, for someone who had
so often sinned with chambermaids! The imp was seated at roya"
ease, one ank"e crossed casua""y on the other knee, an attitude hefre3uent"y himse"f assumed! :e fo""owed its "ustfu" ga%e across
the eight
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de"icate ears! 5ntranced, he rested in the serenity of her face, so
open to his ga%e, so pri#ate in her prayer, con#incing himse"f that
this must be the gir" who had occasioned 0r 2nowba""&s b"ush!
As "ong as he dared, he stayed and watched, and then
retreated, tremb"ing, to the Choir! :e kne"t and prayed that this
was true, that this was the daughter who was awaiting him! As if
awaking from a trance he opened his eyes and saw before him the
gir" again, car#ed on a misericord where an aged standing pre"ate
wou"d ha#e propped his posterior to keep him upright when his
"egs began to fai" in an e;tended ser#ice! The car#ing, ne#er a
sacred subect in #iew of the indecorous f"esh which it supported,
depicted her as a #irgin from the (estiary enticing a unicorn to "ayin her "ap his head, and thus his freedom! :e stood and with a
seeming casua"ness turned his eyes towards the chape" again, but
it was empty!
:e fe"t 3uite weak, and began to wa"k about! 5motions had
been stirred in him that he be"ie#ed had died when he betrayed his
mother! :e kept to the dimmer areas as he strugg"ed with this new
being a"most born inside himse"f, someone who cared and
yearned, and ached with oy and misery, and mo#ed between the
two e;tremes ashamed of neither! :e knew one person cou"d notbe mother, father and sweetheart to him, for such an idea" wou"d
a"ways be a #isionF but if he cou"d draw her to him by any
sacrifice at a"", the spark which had gone out of him might reanow,B he added
re"uctant"y, as if he had hoped to speed 0artin on his way without
it but his conscience now forbade such curtnessF and he "ed the
way across the "awn towards the Principa"&s residence! 0artin&s
heart began to beat with uncomfortab"e speed, for here he thought
he wou"d meet the daughter and know the truth! (ut it was the:ousekeeper who ser#ed the tea!
' was not frank with you,B said 4armouth when she had "eft!
' ha#e a friend who is among the )apps, and because ' hoped to
contact him ' rash"y "eft the message for you! (ut ' rea"ise now
the chances of you, or any other tra#e""er, actua""y meeting him,
when ' do not know where at a"" he is, are minima"! ' must
apo"ogise, therefore, for wasting your time so unforgi#eab"y and
hope you wi"" put it down to an o"d man&s foo"ishness!B
' am dismissed, thought 0artin bitter"y! ' was not what hewanted, he cou"d see the f"aws in me as if ' had written them on a
piece of card and pinned them on my acket! :e forced a smi"e,
put down his cup, shook hands whi"e murmuring there was
nothing to forgi#e, turned and saw the i#ory miniature which
seemed to ha#e a "ikeness to the gir" who fi""ed his thoughts! :e
paused by it, staring, forgetting a"" e"se!
0y wife,B said 4armouth gent"y! 2he died two years ago,
and now my daughter 0ary cares for me!B
' think ' may ha#e seen her in the cathedra" this morning,B0artin b"urted out, terrified he was about to b"ush as much as 0r
2nowba""!
2he is often there,B said Canon 4armouth, and then 0artin
was outside and wa"king despondent"y back toward The 4hite
:eart! :e to"d the porter to book him on the )ondon coach
tomorrow morning and, going to his rooms, he threw himse"f
upon the bed and wondered how such a promising start cou"d
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ha#e so miserab"e an ending! And then a rap upon the door roused
him from his thoughts, and he was informed a "ady was awaiting
him downstairs!