CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
FassetFasset
CPE L4 - Personal and Social MasteryDelegates’ Workbook 2005
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
Table of Contents
1. Introduction................................................................................................................................................................................. 4
1.1 The Changing World of Work............................................................................................................................................ 5
1.2 Skills Required in the New World of Work........................................................................................................................ 9
2. Social Responsiveness and Intelligence.............................................................................................................................. 162.1 Exercise - Are You a High or Low-Self Monitor?............................................................................................................. 16
2.2 Self-Awareness Assessment.......................................................................................................................................... 17
2.3 Benefits of Self-Awareness............................................................................................................................................. 20
2.4 Ways of Becoming More Self- Aware............................................................................................................................. 21
2.5 Self-Awareness through Feedback from Others............................................................................................................. 23
2.6 How to Give Constructive Feedback............................................................................................................................... 23
2.7 Role Play – Providing Corrective Feedback.................................................................................................................... 26
2.8 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 27
3. Differing Personality Types and Their Impact on Colleagues............................................................................................ 283.1 Personality Type Questionnaire...................................................................................................................................... 28
3.2 People-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance............................................................30
3.3 Power-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance.............................................................30
3.4 Precision-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance.........................................................31
3.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 32
4. Emotional Intelligence and Maturity..................................................................................................................................... 334.1 What is “EQ”?................................................................................................................................................................. 33
4.3 What Is Your EQ At Work?............................................................................................................................................. 34
4.3 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 35
5. Valuing Diversity.................................................................................................................................................................... 365.1 How Skilful in Relating to Diverse Individuals Are You?................................................................................................. 36
5.2 My Attitudes Towards Diversity....................................................................................................................................... 37
5.3 Stereotypes and Prejudice.............................................................................................................................................. 38
5.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 38
6. Social Maturity, Objective Reality and Social Control......................................................................................................... 396.1 What is “Social Maturity”?............................................................................................................................................... 40
6.2 What Are the Benefits of Being Socially Mature?........................................................................................................... 42
6.3 There is No Objective Reality, Only Perception.............................................................................................................. 42
6.4 Social Control: Controlling Our Attitudes to Events – the Story of Victor Frankl............................................................43
6.5 Developing an Internal Locus of Control......................................................................................................................... 44
6.6 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 45
7. Social Responsibility............................................................................................................................................................. 467.1 What is “Social Responsibility”?...................................................................................................................................... 46
7.2 How Can We Be More Socially Responsible?................................................................................................................ 46
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
7.3 The Benefits of Being Socially Responsible, As An Individual and An Organisation.......................................................46
7.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 47
8. Interpersonal Relationships - Dealing Positively and Constructively with Co-Workers..................................................488.1 Responding to Another Person’s Problems.................................................................................................................... 48
8.2 Five Ways of Listening and Responding......................................................................................................................... 50
8.3 Helping People Solve Their Problems............................................................................................................................ 51
8.4 Reflective Listening Skills............................................................................................................................................... 53
8.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 53
9. Goal Setting............................................................................................................................................................................ 559.1 Developing SMART Goals.............................................................................................................................................. 55
9.2 The Seven Step Process in Goal Setting........................................................................................................................ 56
9.3 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 62
10 Time Management Through Prioritisation............................................................................................................................ 6310.1 The Benefits of Time Management – Individual, Team and Organisational....................................................................63
10.2 The Impact of Poor Time Management........................................................................................................................... 63
10.3 Major Sources of Time Wasting and How to Manage Your Time More Effectively.........................................................64
10.4 Four Steps to Saying “No”.............................................................................................................................................. 65
10.5 Planning to Improve Time Management Through Prioritisation......................................................................................66
10.6 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 69
11. Delegation............................................................................................................................................................................... 7011.1 What Can Be Delegated and What Should Not Be Delegated........................................................................................70
11.2 How To Delegate Tasks.................................................................................................................................................. 71
11.3 Monitoring and Evaluating Delegated Tasks................................................................................................................... 73
11.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 74
12. Stress Management............................................................................................................................................................... 7612.1 Sources of Stress and Typical Symptoms...................................................................................................................... 76
12.2 Consequences of Not Dealing with Stress Effectively..................................................................................................... 79
12.3 Measuring Stress and Making Plans to Manage It.......................................................................................................... 81
12.4 Eight Tips for Avoiding Stress Overload at Work............................................................................................................ 87
12.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery..................................................................................................................... 88
13. The Top 200 Secrets of Success and The Pillars of Self-Mastery......................................................................................89
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
1. INTRODUCTION
Welcome to this two-day course in Personal and Social Mastery, we trust that you will find the content useful and
enlightening.
Before we begin with the course material, a few points to note:
o Language – we recognise that not everyone’s home language is English. Should you at any point during
this session, not understand a word or a concept that is used, please feel free to ask for clarification.
There is nothing embarrassing about asking questions. It is only embarrassing to fail to ask a question when there are people who would be pleased to assist you with an answer.
o One of the very important objectives of the training sessions is to encourage the delegates to network with
each other. You are all facing similar challenges at work, the more people you get to know during this
training, the more colleagues you will be able to contact next time you have a difficulty.
o This is an interactive course, by this we mean that you will not just be sitting and listening to the trainer,
but will be required to participate fully in the programme. You will complete some exercises individually,
others in groups, you will role play situations and analyse scenarios. A lot of learning will occur.
However, the training room is a safe environment. This means that we will respect each other’s opinions,
listen as well as speak, and understand that we are all in a learning process.
o The course will ask that you look hard at look long and hard at yourself, your behaviour and your
attitudes. This will not always be easy or enjoyable. However, the intervention is about self-development and we ask that you be committed and honest during the process. This is a course where
the more you put in, the more you will get out of it.
This workbook is designed to get you to write down your ideas so that you can refer to them in the future. It is yours to
take away with you. Please add notes to it as we go through each section for your reference purposes.
1.1 The Changing World of Work
1.1.1 Globalisation and Competitiveness
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Changing times always pose a challenge for people and organisations. Global competition is a leading force driving
change at work. Competition in South Africa has increased significantly during the past decade – customers can now
buy products and services from all over the world. This has resulted in cost and performance pressures that have a
ripple effect on people and their behaviour at work. Competition may lead to downsizing and restructuring, however, it
can lead to revitalisation and innovation too. Too much change can lead to chaos; too little change to stagnation and
falling behind the times. Globalisation implies that the world is free from national boundaries and that it really is a
borderless world.
1.1.2 Workforce Diversity
In the last decades the profile of employees in organisations has changed dramatically, in South Africa until recently
one would not frequently find women and people of colour in positions other than manual or clerical workers. With the
introduction of legislation such as the Skills Development Act and the Employment Equity Act this has changed
dramatically, and companies are now pressurised to employ a more representative workforce. Additionally, due to the
increasingly technical nature of work, younger people are becoming managers and finding themselves directing older
people – this too can often lead to conflict.
This change is accompanied by its challenges as different cultures, age groups and genders are now expected to work
together and perform well. Can you think of some of the challenges posed by working in a diverse workplace?
Different ways of thinking e.g. male vs. female
Different cultures e.g. importance of male initiation ceremonies
Variety of languages of opportunities for miscommunication
Problems of older people taking instructions from younger people
Different value systems e.g. women should be at home with children vs. ambition and career aspirations
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1.1.3 Technological Change
The world is becoming more technology-focused, due to the internet people can now order airplane tickets, buy books,
do their banking and conduct business around the globe from their desks. Additionally, the work we do has
dramatically changed due to technology – accounting systems are now computerised; the steel making business no
longer requires manual workers, consultants can do their work from home, the clients office or in airports.
Technological innovations bring about changes in employees’ work environments, and change has been described as
the ultimate stressor.
How has technology changed the work you do and how you do it?
1.1.4 Focus on Ethics
Of recent times there is a drive for organisations to conduct business in an ethical manner and to be seen to be acting
beyond the interests of profit alone, by taking into account their customers’, employees’ and the environment’s
wellbeing too. Businesses such as Enron who have been exposed as violating the rights of the other parties have
faced devastating consequences, however, organisations who have upheld the rights of others have found this to be a
competitive advantage.
Can you think of South African businesses who are known to support ethical objectives including community upliftment
programmes, “employer of choice” objectives and environmental campaigns? Do you think that this gives them a
competitive advantage in the marketplace?
Nedcor – green cards where a % of money spent goes on environmental issues
Elizabeth Anne baby products who sponsor mentally retarded children
Rand Merchant bank attracts and retains talent due to their “employer of choice” status
Woolworths who has a “no questions asked” goods return policy
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This ethical stance gives them a competitive advantage in the market when all else is equal
Can you think of new ethical issues in the workplace regarding the treatment of employees that employers and
managers have been forced to consider in recent times?
Sexual harassment
AIDS
Employee rights e.g. to a fair dismissal and performance counselling, EAP programmes
Whistle blowing
Treating employee information as confidential
1.1.5 How Change Resilient Are You?
As we have seen from these discussions, the world of work is changing rapidly and we all need to be “change-resilient”
in order to succeed and avoid mental anguish, as well as falling performance levels. Everyone perceives change
differently. Think of a change situation you are currently experiencing which requires significant alteration to your
attitude or behaviour; it can either be at work or in your personal life. Rate your feelings about this change using the
following scales. For instance, if you feel the change is more of a threat than an opportunity, you would circle 0, 2 or 4
on the first scale.
Threat 0 2 4 6 8 10 Opportunity
Holding on to the past 0 2 4 6 8 10 Reaching for the future
Immobilised 0 2 4 6 8 10 Activated
Rigid 0 2 4 6 8 10 Adaptable
A loss 0 2 4 6 8 10 A gain
Victim of change 0 2 4 6 8 10 Agent of change
Reactive 0 2 4 6 8 10 Proactive
Focused on the past 0 2 4 6 8 10 Focused on the future
Separate from the change 0 2 4 6 8 10 Involved with change
Confused 0 2 4 6 8 10 Clear
How positive are your perceptions of this change?
What can you do to alter these perceptions and see the change as something positive and a growth opportunity?
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In your groups now take 10 minutes to discuss the following questions:
1. What changes are currently occurring in your workplace?
2. What are the forces that are driving the change?
3. What signs of resistance do you see in yourself and your colleagues?
Poor morale
Lowered performance
Loss of staff to other organisations
Depression
Accidents and absenteeism
4. What can you do about lowering this resistance and showing the changes to be necessary and positive?
Discussing what is changing, why we must change and the problems of staying the same
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Getting feelings out in the open and acknowledging them as normal
Planning a “way forward”
Getting buy in to the changes and creating a new future
Creating certainty and positivism
1.2 Skills Required in the New World of Work
Considering all the changes in the world of work, what new skills do you think that successful employees will need to
have? These skills may be technical or personal. In your groups spend 10 minutes developing a list of these
competencies.
Project management
Computer skills
Team work
Change resilience
Emotional intelligence
Communication, interpersonal skills
Dealing with diverse people
Customer care
Strategic thinking and planning
Financial skills
Your lists may include some of the following personal attributes:
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1.2.1 Motivation
Being able to motivate yourself, and others, is one of the key competencies of a successful individual in the new world
of work.
Why do we motivate our team members?
Increase performance
Ensure staff retention
Create a positive working environment
Why do people work, what are their goals in working?
Money
Advancement
Self-development etc.
Is money the greatest motivator?
Depends on position on Maslow’s hierarchy and personal goals
Yes for some people, not for others
What is most typically noticed and commented on in your workplace?
People doing things wrong
Errors
Behavioural problems
Why is this the case?
Most obvious and noticed
What would happen if leaders focused on the positive?
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Higher motivation
Understanding of what desired behaviours are – role models
Increased performance
“Catch them doing it right!” - Blanchard
A policy of focusing on the positive, paying attention to those who do the best work and get the best results, tends to
cause:
More of those wanted behaviours
A more positive work atmosphere.
More energy and enthusiasm
Improved attendance
Higher performance
1.2.2 Exercise: Motivation Case Study
Review the work situation currently facing Margo Williams, Project Engineering Director in a large construction
company. She schedules projects, meets customers, reports on progress on projects, controls costs and develops
subordinates. A total of 20 men and 8 women report to Margo. All of them are college graduates with at least eight
years of project engineering experience. Margo believes that people are paid to do their work and that it is not part of
her job to encourage them or praise them for jobs well done. She feels that peoples’ private and work lives should be
kept totally separate and discourages people in her team from meeting socially or forming friendships.
Her biggest problems involve the lack of respect and response from her subordinates. Margo’s supervisor has
considered these problems and assumes that her moderate record of success could be improved if she could correct
the situation. Margo is considering a course of action that could motivate her subordinates to show more respect,
respond more favourably to her requests and perform better.
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1.2.3 Assessing the Work Rewards You Personally Value
What work-related rewards have the greatest value to you? Completing this questionnaire will help you answer this
question. Below are ten work-related rewards. For each, circle the number that best describes the value that a
particular reward has for you personally. Use the following scale to express your feelings:
1 = no value at all
2 = slight value
3 = moderate value
4 = great value
5 = extremely great value
Good pay 1 2 3 4 5
Job title 1 2 3 4 5
Holidays 1 2 3 4 5
Job security 1 2 3 4 5
Recognition 1 2 3 4 5
Interesting work 1 2 3 4 5
Pleasant working environment 1 2 3 4 5
Chances to advance 1 2 3 4 5
Flexible schedule 1 2 3 4 5
Friendly co-workers 1 2 3 4 5
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Questions for Discussion
1. Based on your answers, which rewards do you value most? Which do you value least? Do you think these
preferences will change as you get older and perform different jobs? If so, how?
2. Do you believe that the rewards you value most are also the ones valued by other people? Are these reward
preferences likely to be the same for all people everywhere, or at least for all workers performing the same job in the
same company?
3. Do you ever find yourself thinking about these rewards while on the job? Are you aware of these rewards most of
the time, or do they only come to your attention when they are not received?
4. How can you begin to try to motivate your team members if you do not understand what motivates them? Would
there be value in repeating this exercise with your colleagues?
Non-Financial Motivators
It is often not possible to motivate people financially. What other motivators or rewards are available to you in the
workplace?
Praise and recognition
Awards and certificates
Personal development goals
Career paths
Mentoring, coaching and training etc.
1.2.4 Empathy
What do you understand by the term “empathy”?
Having empathy for others is a vital 21st century skill and includes behaviours such as treating others’ ideas respectfully
and non-judgementally and accepting them for who and what they are. This does not mean that you need to agree with
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what they are thinking, feeling or doing. It only means that you suspend judgement about the rightness or wrongness
of their thoughts and actions. This is especially different when interacting with individuals whose beliefs, attitudes and
values are profoundly different from your own.
In your experience, what behaviours may we have to have empathy for in a diverse workplace?
Gender issues e.g. having to get home to make dinner
Differences of opinion re; marital status and having children
Work / life balance priorities
Religious and cultural values
Behaviour norms – what is and is not important to uphold in the workplace
1.2.5 Social Skills
Use good manners when interacting with others. Manners and etiquette refer to behaving in a refined and socially
acceptable manner. People who are considerate to the feelings and dignity of others are more likely to lead happy and
fulfilling lives. Manners and etiquette include being polite to people in person (such as saying “good morning”, “please”
and “thank you”), using good table manners (such as chewing with your mouth closed, swallowing the food in your
mouth before talking, remembering the names of people), dressing appropriately, not gossiping and ignoring insults.
Today, as much as ever, high quality relationships, both personally and at work, are characterised by good manners.
1.2.6 Exercise – Am I Being Rude?
Form a pair. Rate each of the following actions on the degree of its rudeness. Discuss each question and arrive at one
answer that both agree is correct.
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Behaviour Very rude
Very polite
I eat or drink while talking on the phone 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I carry on side conversations while talking to someone else 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I tell other people what I am told in confidence 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I make negative comments about a person’s appearance or clothes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I ignore people who want to talk to me when I am in a hurry 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I do not return messages or e-mails promptly 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I mispronounce other peoples’ names 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I say nothing when a person achieves something worthwhile 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I push in line when I am late 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I pass a person without saying hello 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
When I get angry I insult other people and call them names 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
What did you learn from this exercise?
1.2.7 Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation
Other crucial skills to the modern worker are the abilities to be self-aware and regulate one’s own behaviour. We will
look at these behaviours in the following section.
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2. SOCIAL RESPONSIVENESS AND INTELLIGENCE
We cannot possibly begin to develop ourselves, and others, unless we know what our personal strengths and
development areas are. Self-awareness helps you to identify the actions that you need to take to behave competently
in different situations. The more self-aware you are, the more able you are to control your behaviour and the greater is
your ability to adapt your behaviour to changing circumstances. Self-awareness helps you to present yourself
appropriately and create the impression that you want in differing social situations. High self-monitors seem to have a
variety of selves from which to draw, they are ready to modify their behaviour according to the demands of the situation.
They often act like very different people in different situations and with different individuals. Low self-monitors are low
less concerned about situations and express themselves in the same way from one situation to the next, showing their
true and honest self.
2.1 Exercise - Are You a High or Low-Self Monitor?
For the following items circle T (true) if the statement is characteristic of your behaviour. Circle F (false) if the
statement does not reflect your behaviour.
Statement True False
I find it hard to copy the behaviour of others
At parties and social gatherings, I do not attempt to say or do things that others will not like
I can only argue for ideas that I already believe
I can make speeches without preparation even on topics where I have little information
I put on a show to impress or entertain others
I would probably make a good actor
In a group of people I am rarely the centre of attention
In different situations with different people, I often act very differently
I am not particularly good at making other people like me
I am not always the person I appear to be
I would not change my opinions or behaviour to win other peoples’ favour
I have considered being an entertainer
I have never been good at games like charades or acting
I have trouble changing my behaviour to suit different people and situations
At a party I let other people keep the jokes and stories going
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I feel a bit awkward in company and do not show up as well as I could
I can look anyone in the eye and tell a lie if it is for a good cause
I may deceive people by being friendly when I really dislike them
Scoring:
To score this questionnaire give yourself one point of each of the following items that you answered T (true):
4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 17 and 18
Now give yourself one point for each of the following answers that you marked F (false):
1, 2, 37, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15 and 16
Add both sub-totals to find your overall score. If you scored 11 or above you are probably a high self-monitor. If you
scored 10 or under, you are probably a low self-monitor.
Self-awareness increases your social sensitivity. The more self-aware you are the more effort you make to learn about
other people and to evaluate social situations. You may pay more attention to information you have about people and
tailor your behaviour accordingly.
2.2 Self-Awareness Assessment
Exercise – Who Am I?
Take 10 minutes individually to begin to consider this question using the following prompts:
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What is it difficult for you to do?
How do you define friendship?
What value is most important to you?
When do you feel most comfortable?
If you weren’t what you are, what would you be?
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How do you deal with your anger?
Whom do you trust the most and why?
What are your key strengths?
What are your key weaknesses / development areas?
Under what circumstances would you tell a lie?
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What is your major life goal?
What is the worst thing that your colleagues would say about you?
What is the best thing that your colleagues would say about you?
Are you a high or low-self regulator? Justify your answer to yourself.
2.3 Benefits of Self-Awareness
Did you discover more about yourself when answering these questions?
What do you think the personal benefits to you would be of becoming more self-aware?
Able to act in a conscious manner
Know own strengths and use them more
Address self-development areas
Act in a more reasoned manner
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Interact with people more thoughtfully
Understand what is important to me able make long-term goals
2.4 Ways of Becoming More Self- Aware
Given the many benefits of self-awareness you would do well by working hard to know yourself. There are a number of
ways of becoming more self-aware:
1. Introspection
You can look inward and examine the “inside information” that you, and you alone, have about your thought, feelings
and motives. Unfortunately, self-scrutiny is not always present, possible or accurate. The reasons we feel or behave
the way we do may be hidden from our conscious awareness. In trying to understand their behaviour, people
sometimes make up reasons for their behaviour that come to mind easily, blame others or seem plausible but are
incorrect. Introspection is almost always a good idea, but has limits.
2. Observe Yourself
By “watching” what you do, you become aware of what you are like as a person, much as outsiders form judgements of
you on the basis of what they see. Often your behaviour is a reliable guide to your feelings. When you become aware
of one aspect of yourself, you typically evaluate it, and consider how this aspect compares to what you would like to be
like. This can allow you to improve your behaviour in order to meet your own personal goals.
3. Explain Your Feelings, Perceptions, Reactions and Experiences to Another Person
when you put your feelings and reactions into words, they become clearer and better organised, and take on new
meanings. It can also lead to insights into yourself and your experiences. This can take the form of psychotherapy, or
more simply exploring your behaviours with colleagues, friend and people close to you in order to become more self-
aware.
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4. Compare Yourself to Others
Gauge your own attitudes, emotions, behaviours and abilities by comparing them to other people. Some comparisons
are easy to make. There is little room for error in deciding whether you are shorter or taller than the next person.
There are no objective standards though for determining how kind you are, how enjoyable it is to work with you,
whether you are empathetic or socially flexible. To make such judgements you need to honestly compare yourself to
others and evaluate your own objectives. From knowing others you know yourself.
5. Interact With a Wide Variety of Diverse People
Much of your self-awareness arises from your experiences and interactions with other people. As you get to know
others, you get to know yourself. You learn very little about yourself by interacting with only similar people or hiding
away. The wider the variety of your experiences with many different people, the better you get to know yourself. By
having friends and colleagues from different backgrounds and cultures, you become more aware about their beliefs and
the person that you are.
Think of 3 practical ways that you can work on becoming more self-aware. Detail them in the table below, state whose
help you will need in this endeavour and when you wish to complete the activity by. Be sure to revert back to this
action plan within the next month and monitor the progress you have made towards its implementation.
3 Ways in Which I Can Become More Self-Aware Whose Help Will I Need? By When?
2.5 Self-Awareness through Feedback from Others
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You can increase your self-awareness by requesting feedback from other people as to how they see you and how they
are reacting to your behaviour. This feedback can (a) confirm your view of yourself or (b) reveal to you aspects of
yourself and consequences of your behaviour that you did not know. Your self-awareness is especially increased when
you receive feedback from others who have different perspectives and see you differently to you see yourself. A useful
starting point may be to answer the following questions about yourself:
Who am I?
What are my responsibilities at work?
What am I like to work with?
How do I deal with conflict?
Do I welcome and use alternative inputs or do I stick to my own ideas?
Am I a positive force to work with? Do I add value to a team?
Do I have good people skills?
How do others perceive me?
What are my strengths in a team?
In what areas do I need to develop greater skills?
What could I do better?
Once we have answered these questions for ourselves, we can ask colleagues to respond to them about us, preferably
in an anonymous manner so that they are as honest as possible. This feedback may show a difference between how
we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us – what we do with this information is up to us.
2.6 How to Give Constructive Feedback
Giving a person positive feedback is usually a pleasure to both the speaker and the receiver, it is something that we do
easily and is well received. However, giving less positive or constructive feedback is an issue that many people avoid
and prefer to ignore the problem, rather than address it directly. The challenge is how to provide people with feedback,
which is useful and gives them specific details on what they need to improve in the future in order to enhance their
performance. Providing a person with feedback can be highly motivating if it is done in a meaningful and constructive
manner. A “sandwich” approach to providing feedback is often recommended.
The Sandwich Approach:
1. Start the interaction with a positive, but sincere, comment, which will open up communications and reduce
anxieties or tension. For example, “ Thank you for coming today, I really appreciate you taking the time to
meet with me.”
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2. The “sandwich filling” then is discussed – the performance improvement areas evidenced; specific problems
that have been encountered; the effects / results of the behaviour evidenced, your expectations for the future
and the results you would like to see.
3. End the discussions on a positive note, which looks forward to the future, assures the listener of your
confidence in their ability to meet your expectations and to address the problem evidenced.
Consider the following factors when giving feedback:
Is this the right time to give this feedback?
Is this the right place?
Is this the appropriate person to whom I should give this feedback?
What is the best way to communicate my message?
Is the feedback well thought out and valid?
What problems might my feedback create?
Will my feedback damage the relationship?
Focus on the behaviour, not the person.
Avoid globalising the behaviour.
Use I instead of you language.
Steps to Providing Corrective Performance-Based Feedback
Present the facts of alleged poor work performance to the employee and allow the employee to respond.
Review standards; discuss what is expected of the employee. Consider the job description, if available, and
review the required standard or level of performance.
Identify the reasons for poor performance and agree on reasonable assistance to enable the employee to
achieve the required standards. List chronologically, if possible, all instances of sub-standard performance
and the reasons why it is considered as sub-standard. Compare the performance to what is required in terms
of the job description. Give the employee an opportunity to respond to each instance of poor work
performance and record the employee’s response. Reply to the employee’s representations and provide the
employee with the reasons management should disagree with the employee.
Investigate reasons for poor performance. Attempt to reach consensus on all issues. Present the perceived
reasons for the sub-standard performance. Give the employee an opportunity to present his / her reasons for
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the poor work performance. Reply to the employee’s representations and disclose the reasons management
should disagree with the employee. Determine and record the reasons for sub-standard performance.
Get a commitment from the employee to achieve the standards.
Determine the assistance (training, counselling or guidance) that will be provided by the organisation to ensure
that the employee is able to perform in accordance with the required standard. If possible agree on an action
plan.
Give the employee instructions on the required performance standard and what is required in the future.
Inform the employee how he / she should go about attaining the required standards. Where appropriate,
suggest specific steps or plans to assist the employee. Invite the employee to give an undertaking as to the
steps and commitments that will be implemented in order to accomplish the required standard. Any such
undertaking should be recorded.
Decide on a reasonable review period (not less than a month and not more than three months) during which
the employee will be granted an opportunity to achieve the required standards. The period must be long
enough for the manager to evaluate whether the employee has achieved the expected standards.
Set a date for the next counselling meeting
Give feedback throughout the review period and keep notes to use at the next counselling meeting
2.7 Role Play – Providing Corrective Feedback
Providing corrective feedback in a constructive manner is never as easy or as pleasant as providing positive feedback,
however, it must be done. In groups of three people you will role-play the scenario below, with one person providing
the feedback, the other being the employee and the third functioning as an observer. Each person is to take 5 minutes
prior to the role-play to prepare for the role by reviewing the steps for providing feedback and what they will say during
the interaction. You will then conduct the role-play in 5 minutes, during this time the observer will merely watch the
interaction and make notes on:
What was done well during the role-play
What could be improved upon when providing positive feedback to the employee
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The observer will then provide feedback to the role players on the above points, and together the three group members
will discuss their performance and possible improvement areas and learning points to consider when providing
feedback.
Situation:
Your employee has been late for work for the past two days. Being late had been a problem for several days earlier in
the month, but you resolved the situation. The last two weeks the employee has been on time every day until
yesterday and today. You want to correct the situation before it gets out of hand.
Lessons learnt from this role-play:
2.8 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Social Responsiveness and Intelligence and that make sense
to you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your
schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
3. DIFFERING PERSONALITY TYPES AND THEIR IMPACT ON COLLEAGUES
3.1 Personality Type Questionnaire
WHEN YOU ANSWER THE QUESTIONS ON THIS PAGE, THINK ABOUT SITUATIONS AT WORK, AT HOME AND WITH FRIENDS, BUT ALWAYS THINK OF SITUATIONS WHERE THINGS ARE GOING WELL AND YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF
1. I enjoy things most when I am …..
Helping others do what they want
to do
Getting others to do what I want to do
Doing what I want to do without
having to count on others
2. Most of the time I am likely to be …..
A feeling person who is quick to
respond to other people’s needs
An energetic person who is quick to
see opportunities and advantages
A practical person who is
careful not to rush into things
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before I am ready
3. When I meet people for the first time I am most likely to be …..
Concerned with whether or not
they find me a likeable person
Actively curious about them to learn
if there is something in it for me
Politely cautious until I’ve
learned what they might want
from me
4. Most of the time I find myself being …..
The nice one on whom others can generally count on to lend a helping hand
The strong one who supplies the
direction for others
The thinking one who studies
things carefully before acting
5. I feel most satisfied when …..
The major decisions have been
made by others and how I can
help is clear
Others count on me to make the
major decisions and tell then what to
do
I’ve had time to study a major
decision and determine my
own best course of action
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6. People who know me best see me as a person who can be counted on …..
To be trusting of them and loyal
to them
To be full of ambition and initiative To be unswerving in my
convictions and my principles
7. It is most like me to …..
Do the best I can and trust in
others to recognise my
contribution
Take the lead in developing
opportunities others miss
Be patient, practical and sure
of what I am doing
8. I would describe myself as a person who most of the time is …..
Friendly, open and who sees
some good in almost everyone
Energetic, self-confident and one
who sees opportunities others miss
Cautious and fair and who
stands by what I believe to be
right
9. I find those relationships most gratifying in which I can be …..
Of support to a strong leader in
whom I have faith
The one who provides the leadership
others want to follow
Neither a leader nor a follower
but free to pursue my own
independent way
10. When I am at my best, I most enjoy …..
Seeing others benefit from what I
have been able to do for them
Having others turn to me to lead and
guide them and give them purpose
Being my own boss and doing
things for myself and by myself
Column 1 Total Column 2 Total Column 3 Total
SUM OF TOTALS FROM COLUMNS 1, 2 AND 3 MUST EQUAL 100
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3.2 People-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance
Can you think of a people-focused person that you work with? What is the impact of his / her personality type on his /
her colleagues?
What is the impact of his / her personality type on his / her work performance?
3.3 Power-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance
Can you think of a power person that you work with? What is the impact of his / her personality type on his / her
colleagues?
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What is the impact of his / her personality type on his / her work performance?
3.4 Precision-Focused People – Their Impact on Colleagues and Work Performance
Can you think of a precision person that you work with? What is the impact of his / her personality type on his / her
colleagues?
What is the impact of his / her personality type on his / her work performance?
The morale of the story is that we all need to balance people, power and precision focuses in the new world of work. If
we neglect one or two of these aspects we will be less effective and produce lower results.
What personality traits do you need to exhibit more of at work? People, power or precision?
3.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
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Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Differing Personality Types and Their Impact on Colleagues
and that make sense to you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to
incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
4. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND MATURITY
4.1 What is “EQ”?
What do you understand by the term “emotional intelligence”?
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It has been suggested that effective leaders possess emotional intelligence, which is the ability to recognise and
manage emotion in oneself and others. Emotional intelligence is made up of several competencies including, self-
awareness, empathy, compassion, calm under stress, being a great motivator, ability and self-confidence. These are
learned abilities and they can be developed.
Trust has been stated as an essential element in leadership. Trust is the willingness to be vulnerable to the actions of
another. This means that followers will act with the followers’ welfare in mind. Trustworthiness is also one of the
competencies in emotional intelligence.
Think of someone you trust. Why do you trust them? What have they done to build your trust in them?
What can you do to build your colleagues’ trust in you?
EQ, the social equivalent of IQ, is complex, in no small part because it relies on many variables, including your inborn
compatibility, or lack of it, with the people who happen to be your co-workers. But if you want to get a rough idea of
how your EQ measures up, this quiz will help.
4.3 What Is Your EQ At Work?
As honestly as you can, estimate how you rate in the eyes of peers, bosses and subordinates on each of the following
traits, on a scale of 1 to 4, with 4 representing strong agreement, and 1 strong disagreement.
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Question Rating
I usually stay composed, positive and unflappable even in trying moments
I can think clearly and stay focused on the task at hand under pressure
I am able to admit my own mistakes
I usually or always keep commitments or promises
I hold myself accountable for meeting my goals
I am organised and careful in my work
I regularly seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of sources
I am good at generating new ideas
I can smoothly handle multiple demands and changing priorities
I am results-orientated, with a strong drive to meet my objectives
I like to set challenging goals and take calculated risks to meet them
I am always trying to learn how to improve my performance, including asking advice from others
I readily make sacrifices to meet an important organisational goal
The company’s mission is something that I understand and can identify with
The values of my team / division / department / company influence my decisions at work
I actively seek out opportunities to get others to help me meet organisational goals
I pursue goals beyond what is required of me in my current job
Obstacles and set backs may delay me a little, but they don’t stop me
Cutting through red tape and bending outdated rules is sometimes necessary
I seek fresh perspectives, even if that means trying something totally new
My impulses or distressing emotions don’t often get the best of me at work
I can change tactics quickly when circumstances change
Getting new information is my best bet for reducing uncertainty and finding better ways of doing things
I usually don’t attribute setbacks to a personal flaw (mine or someone else’s)
I operate from an expectation of success, rather than failure
Total score
A score below 70 indicates a problem. If your total is somewhere here don’t despair. EQ is not unimprovable.
Emotional intelligence can be learned, and in fact we are all building it, in varying degrees, throughout life. It is
sometimes called maturity! EQ is nothing less than a collection of tools that we can sharpen to enhance our own
performance in our personal lives and at work.
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4.3 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Emotional Intelligence and Maturity and that make sense to
you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your
schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
5. VALUING DIVERSITY
Interacting effectively with colleagues from different cultures, ethnic groups, social classes, genders, religions and
historical backgrounds does not come naturally to humans. For 200 000 people lived in small hunting and gathering
groups, interacting infrequently with other small, nearby groups. Today we are expected to communicate and work
effectively with people across all of these barriers, no wonder this feels uncomfortable at times, we have never had to
deal with such diversity before!
Make a list of the differences among people that you work with:
Age, physical abilities
Race, tribal differences
Religion, social status
Background, economic differences
Gender, culture
5.1 How Skilful in Relating to Diverse Individuals Are You?
The following steps are a framework for understanding how to interact effectively with diverse individuals. Rate yourself
on a scale from 1 (low skills) to 5 (high skills). The higher you score, the more you see yourself as having the skills to
interact effectively with diverse individuals.
Statement Rating
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I recognise that diversity exists, and I value it as an important resource
I can create a co-operative context in which I work with diverse individuals to achieve mutual goals
An important part of my identity is my historical and cultural heritage
I recognise, respect and value the historical and cultural heritage of others
I highlight the over reaching goals that unite us as a team
I work constantly to reduce my internal barriers (such as stereotyping) so that I can work better with others
I know how to resolve conflict constructively and am skilful in using them
I am committed to all peoples’ rights to live their own goals and dreams, whatever form they take
Total
How well do you interact with diverse people? What can you do to enhance your interactions with diverse others?
5.2 My Attitudes Towards Diversity
On the lines that follow, list at least 5 things that you like and dislike about working in a diverse environment.
Things I Like About Working in a Diverse Environment Things I Dislike About Working in a Diverse Environment
5.3 Stereotypes and Prejudice
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Everyone is socialised to be prejudiced and to stereotype others, nowhere is this as true as in South Africa. We are
now going to look at the stereotypes that we each hold. This exercise is aimed at clarifying:
What stereotypes you have been taught about other groups
What stereotypes they have been taught about you
You will now be split into groups and provided with a number of words from the following list:
Male Teenager Blind
Low income Female Over age 70
Deaf High income Black
Coloured Asian White
Rural Urban Professional
Each team member is to read the various categories allocated to your group, and write one stereotype that he or she
has heard (you do not have to believe it) under each heading on a piece of flipchart paper. Each participant should be
careful not to repeat anything that has already been written down. Nor should participants make anything up. After the
exercise is completed a representative from each group will stick up the group’s flipcharts and read out all the
stereotypes they have listed under each category. The other groups will then discuss:
Their personal reactions to these stereotypes
How accurate the stereotypes of their identities are
What they have learned about stereotyping others
5.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Valuing Diversity and that make sense to you and can be
implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
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Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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6. SOCIAL MATURITY, OBJECTIVE REALITY AND SOCIAL CONTROL
6.1 What is “Social Maturity”?
People who had been bankrupted at least one were prime candidates for management positions when Bill Gates
started Microsoft. One wonders how such a successful business could have been built on the back of other peoples’
failures. If they couldn’t run their own businesses how could they contribute? But there was a method in gates’
seeming madness. People who have made a come-back from personal devastation are strengthened by the
experience. If they’ve picked themselves up from failure once, they’ll never fear it again. They can take risks because
they’ve proved to themselves that they can rely on their own resources. This is the essence of social maturity.
Emotional development happens in the following five stages and growth depends on our ability to learn the lessons
from all of our experiences. These stages are all appropriate at certain ages, but some people grow faster and mature
quite young, while others stay stuck and may never reach the final stages.
6.1.1 Stage 1 – Acceptance
In the early part of our life our emotions control our behaviour, we accept whatever we are told and believe it to be true.
Our thoughts are not alone and we model ourselves on the people around us. Some people may get stuck in this stage
and still use the negative aspects of childhood to manipulate their worlds. Characteristic behaviours of such people
include: blaming, critical, prone to frequent emotional hijackings, helpless, manipulative, negative, speak without
thinking, making unrealistic demands, unresourceful and victim behaviour.
Do you see any of these behaviours in yourself?
6.1.2 Stage 2 – Rebellion
Questioning moves us out of the acceptance phase and into teenage rebellion. It is healthy as it means we have learnt
to test our thinking and stand on our own two feet, the world as we’ve known it through other peoples’ eyes begins to
crumble. Instead of complying with other peoples’ beliefs we begin to take risks and challenge ourselves. By facing
the consequences of our actions we become aware of behaviours that work for and against us. Rebellion shows us
how we can operate in our world. People who don’t experience this stage do not have a deep understanding of who
they are. But some people never leave this stage either, they are stuck because they have developed habits that work
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for them but are unacceptable in adult life. Characteristic behaviours of such people include: arguments, attention
seeking, disorganised, egocentric, embellishing, lacking commitment, low frustration tolerance, need to be right, poor
social skills, not punctual.
Do you see any of these behaviours in yourself?
6.1.3 Stage 3 – Transparency
The workings of the world become transparent when we increase our knowledge base and begin to understand the
bigger picture. We get to this stage from learning from our life experiences and coming up with new ideas. We have
learnt to manage our power and manoeuvre situations to our advantage, we have social skills , are in control of our
emotions and have confidence in ourselves. People at the transparency stage are robust, they can take knocks
because they know how to bounce back and revive themselves. They ask openly rather than manipulating other
people. Characteristics of transparent behaviour include: caring, creative, curious, flexibility, innovation, inspiring, high
social skills, optimism, resourcefulness, spontaneity and warmth.
Do you see these behaviours in yourself?
6.1.4 Stage 4 – Contribution
People at this stage actively seek to make a difference to the world around them. They are no longer plagued by
childhood difficulties and have a deep understanding of their world. Often individuals fluctuate between Stage 3 and
Stage 4 as their circumstances alter.
6.1.5 Stage 5 – Wisdom
This is the final stage in our growth quest. It is the stage when we are comfortable with the contribution we have made
and have contentment gained through sharing with others.
What stage are you currently at? What can you do to move into the next developmental phase?
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6.2 What Are the Benefits of Being Socially Mature?
In your groups come up with a list of the benefits of being socially mature. When compiling the list consider all the
attributes that we have discussed during the course and the advantages of practicing them in your lives.
6.3 There is No Objective Reality, Only Perception
There is no reality, only perception, no matter what happens in your life, how you interpret it and what you get out of the
experience is up to you. Following on from this, how I view an event may be vastly different from how you see it. Both
of us might look at the same picture, I might like it, you may not – there is no reality as to whether it is good or not.
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. The differences in perception from one individual to the next as each person
is unique. No matter how much you think you are like another person, the meaning you give to what takes place in
your life, or between you, is yours alone. This “incongruency of perceptions” can lead to frustration, confusion and
disharmony.
For example, men tend to think of taking the rubbish outside as a duty, women, on the other hand see it as an act of
love. They see taking the rubbish out as a distasteful event, “if he loved me he would do it, so I would not have to. If
he does not care about this he does not care about the quality of my life, and therefore I conclude he does not love
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me.” By contrast the man sees the rubbish as just one of his many duties, if he does not get round to it today he will do
it tomorrow. The rubbish has nothing at all to do with love!
There is nothing to be gained by asking who is right and who is wrong in this situation. Neither person is right or wrong.
There is no reality; only perception. How you view an event is what determines it’s meaning for you. The key point is
that where your perceptions are concerned you have the ability to choose differently from what you are currently
choosing, if you wish. When it comes to how you see things you have a choice.
6.3.1 Exercise – How Can You Change Your Perceptions?
Now look back to the exercise we completed in Section 1.1.5 – How Change Resilient Are You? Looking at the change
you considered here, how could you alter your perception of this event in order to see it in a more positive manner?
6.4 Social Control: Controlling Our Attitudes to Events – the Story of Victor Frankl
One of the harshest imaginable tests of the truth that there is no reality, only perception. Occurred in the life of Dr Victor
Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist who was captured by the Nazis during World War II and held prisoner at the Auschwitz
concentration camp. The SS had murdered his wife and parents, and now, subjecting him to every indignity possible,
held his life in their hands. Writing afterwards of his experiences of the camp, Dr Frankl described the obsessive
control that the guards exercised: each day, he and his fellow prisoners were told when to sit, when to stand, when to
work, when to eat, and when to sleep – they were told whether they were allowed to live or die.
In his fascinating book, “Mans’ Search for Meaning”, Dr Frankl noted that in the face of these unending atrocities, he
discovered one very important aspect of his existence that the SS guards could not control. They could not control
what attitude he took to his suffering. They could not force upon him how he would interpret and react to his treatment.
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At a particular moment of his imprisonment, Dr Frankl made a life decision. He saw that if he were made to suffer
these terrible events in his life for no meaning, he would go insane. He decided, instead, to live by the principle that
“we only know and experience this life through the meaning or relevance of perceptions that we give to it.”
There are two lessons that we can learn from Dr Frankl. The first is his realisation that you can, in any circumstances,
choose your reaction. He chose to see his situation as a challenge, from his suffering came his commitment to survive
and to deliver his discovery to the world. The events in our daily lives have only the meaning that we give to them.
There is not good news and there is no bad news, there is only news. You have the power to choose your perceptions.
And you exercise this power of choice every day and in every circumstance.
6.5 Developing an Internal Locus of Control
An individual’s general belief about internal (self) versus external (situation or others) control is called locus of control. People who believe they control what happens to them are said to have an internal locus of control, whereas people
who believe circumstances or other people control their fate have an external locus of control. Internals have been
found to have higher levels of job satisfaction and performance, to be more likely to assume managerial positions, and
to prefer participating in the future of their organisations. Because internals believe they control what happens to them,
they want to exercise more control in their working environments, they do not react well to being closely supervised.
External, in contrast, prefer a more structured work setting and may be more reluctant to participate in decision-making.
Are you an internal or an external?
How can one go about developing an internal locus of control?
6.6 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Social Maturity, Objective Reality and Social Control and that
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make sense to you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them
in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
7. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
7.1 What is “Social Responsibility”?
Corporate social responsibility is the obligation of an organisation to behave in ethical ways in the social environment in
which it operates. Current concerns include upliftment of disadvantaged individuals, employing a representative
workforce, protecting the environment, promoting worker safety, supporting social issues like AIDS and education and
investing in the community.
What behaviours does social responsibility at an individual level include?
Giving to charity (time and money)
Assisting the people who work for you
Supporting organisations that assist social causes
Coaching, training and mentoring staff
Recycling refuse and preventing pollution etc.
7.2 How Can We Be More Socially Responsible?
How can we become more socially responsible?
Being more aware of social issues
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Developing an action plan for helping others and implementing it
Encouraging our organisations to be more socially responsible and participating in drives etc.
7.3 The Benefits of Being Socially Responsible, As An Individual and An Organisation
What do you think the benefits of being socially responsible are to the individual?
What you give you get back
Make the world a better place
Invest in the future
Address feelings of guilt
Move into social maturity Step 4: Contribution
What do you think the benefits of being socially responsible are to an organisation?
Supported in the marketplace
Attract and retain customers
Establish a favourable reputation
Gain a competitive advantage
Potential profit increase
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7.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Social Responsibility and that make sense to you and can be
implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
8. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS - DEALING POSITIVELY AND CONSTRUCTIVELY WITH CO-WORKERS
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8.1 Responding to Another Person’s Problems
When someone is talking to you about something distressing or of real concern to themselves, how should you listen
and respond in order to be helpful? How do you answer in ways that will both help the person to solve the problem or
clarify their feelings, and at the same time help build a closer relationship between yourselves?
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you cannot solve peoples’ problems for them. No matter how
sure you are of what the right thing to do is, the other person must come to their own decisions about what they should
do. So how do you listen and respond to ensure that the other people will make their own decisions and gain their own
insights?
8.2 Five Ways of Listening and Responding
When other people want to discuss a problem or concern of theirs with you, there are at least five ways in which you
can listen and respond:
Advising and Evaluating
Analysing and Interpreting
Reassuring and Supporting
Questioning and Probing
Paraphrasing and Understanding
8.2.1 Advising and Evaluating
Giving advice and making a judgement about the “rightness” of what the sender is doing and thinking are amongst the
commonest responses we make when trying to help others. This can be threatening to other people and make them
defensive, closed-minded, resist your influence or stop exploring solutions. Thus, if you wish to be helpful and further a
relationship, you should usually avoid phrases such as:
“If I were you…”
“One good way is…”
“Why don’t you…”
“You must…”
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8.2.2 Analysing and Interpreting
When analysing or interpreting the sender’s problems and difficulties, we are trying to teach, tell the sender what he
really feels about the problem or share our psychological knowledge and insight of the sender. We imply that we know
what the sender ought to think and understand some deep, hidden reasons for the way the sender acts. Statements
such as “Ah, ha! Now I know what your problem is…” or “The reason you are upset is…” convey this message. Most of
us react negatively when someone else implies that he knows more about us than we do. People will usually respond
better when you help them think about themselves and their feelings.
8.2.3 Reassuring and Supporting
Supportive and reassuring responses indicate that the receiver wants to reassure, be sympathetic or reduce the
intensity of the sender’s feelings, this often denies these feelings. Statements such as “It’s always darkest before
dawn”, and “Things will be better tomorrow” often end up communicating a lack of understanding or interest. Rather
listen carefully and help clarify the causes and potential solutions.
8.2.4 Questioning and Probing
Probing by asking questions indicates that the receiver wants to get further information, guide the discussion along
certain lines, or bring the sender to a certain conclusion he has in mind. Questioning is however, an important skill in
helping people who wish to discuss their problems and concerns with you. In using questioning skilfully it is important
to understand the difference between and open and a closed question.
An open question encourages people to answer at greater length and in more detail. The closed question usually only
demands a simple yes or no answer. An example of an open question is “Where would you like to be in five years
time?”, while a closed question would be, “Do you like your job?” Because open questions encourage people to share
their feelings they are usually more helpful.
8.2.5 Paraphrasing and Understanding
An understanding and reflecting response indicates that your intent is to understand the sender’s thoughts and feelings.
In effect, this response asks the sender whether you, the receiver, have understood what the sender is saying and how
she is feeling.
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8.3 Helping People Solve Their Problems
8.3.1 Listen
Instead of arguing when you hear a point you disagree with, listen attentively to the person’s main points. Let people
vent their feelings. Look interested and concerned. Say any of these things:
“Tell me more. That’s interesting. Uh huh.
I’m not sure I understand. Could you go over that again?”
8.3.2 Empathise
Accept the views of this person even if you don’t agree with them.
Let people know you understand their feelings. Say:
“I don’t blame you for feeling that way. I see what you mean.
I understand how you feel. I’m sure I’d feel the same way if…”
8.3.3 Clarify
Delve deeper to ensure that you have a clear understanding of what the other person is saying to you. Say:
“Let me see if I’ve got it straight; what you’re saying is …
Is it possible that… The idea you’re proposing is …”
8.3.4 Seek Permission
Tell your side after the other person has expressed all of his or her concerns and feels clearly understood. Say:
“Now that I understand your views, can I explain mine?
It seems that this would be a good time to bring up a few points you haven’t mentioned.”
8.3.5 Resolve the Issue
Once you have both heard each other, this is the time to start dealing with the problem together.
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8.4 Reflective Listening Skills
Reflective listening is a skill that you can practice and learn. Here are ten tips to help you to become a better listener:
1. Stop talking. You cannot listen if your mouth is moving.
2. Put the speaker at ease. Break the ice to help the speaker to relax. Smile.
3. Show the speaker that you want to listen. Put away your work. Do not look at your watch. Maintain appropriate eye
contact.
4. Remove distractions. Close your door. Do not answer the telephone.
5. Empathise with the speaker. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes.
6. Be patient. Not everyone delivers messages at the same pace.
7. Hold your temper. Do not fly off the handle.
8. Go ease on criticism. Criticising the speaker can stifle communication.
9. Ask questions. Paraphrase and clarify the speaker’s message.
10. Stop talking. By this stage, you are probably very tempted to start talking, but do not. Be sure the speaker has
finished.
8.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Interpersonal Relationships – Dealing Positively and Constructively with Co-workers and that make sense to you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them
below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
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How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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9. GOAL SETTING
At this point most of you will have goals that you want to achieve. Having a goal is good, however, we need to be clear
about what, when, how and where we need to act in order to achieve our personal visions. At this point we need to
reflect on how to set goals and the plans we need to put in place to achieve them. First, your goals must be SMART -
SMART means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-framed.
9.1 Developing SMART Goals
Specific – goals are no place for waffle. They are no place to be vague, unclear goals produce unclear results.
Incomplete goals produce unclear futures. “Specific” means detailed and focused, it means spelling out the details of
the goal, for example:
“Increased skills” is too general for a goal statement because it does not provide specific information about what is to
be accomplished.
“Increase my typing speed to 40 words a minute” specifies the desired improvement and leaves no doubt about what is
to be accomplished.
Measurable – always set goals that are measurable e.g. attain an average of 75% in my assignments; complete an
Intermediate Level Microsoft Word course. Measurable goals are quantifiable and indicate when the desired result is
achieved. Doing something “better” or “more accurately” does not provide the necessary measurement to determine
when the goal has been achieved.
Attainable – do not set goals that are so high that you will be unable to accomplish them
Realistic – the root of the word realistic is “real”. A goal has to be something that we can reasonably make real or a
reality in our lives. A very challenging goal is realistic, you can make it happen, it is not impossible. Realistic goals are
practical, achievable and possible. Impossible goals demotivate but they should not be too easy either. Easy goals do
not motivate any more than unattainable goals.
Time-framed – every goal should have a time attached to it. One of the characteristics of a great goal is that it has an
end, a time by which you set out to accomplish it. As time goes by you work on it as you do not want to get behind.
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Accountability
When someone knows what your goals are, they hold you accountable by asking you to “give an account” of where you
are in the process of achieving that goal. If a goal is set and no one else knows about it, does it have any power?
Many times, no. At the very least, it isn’t as powerful as if you have one or more people who can hold you accountable
to your goal.
Who are you going to share your goals with? Who will you be accountable to?
9.2 The Seven Step Process in Goal Setting
1. Know what you want
2. Know when you want it
3. List the rewards and consequences
4. Identify potential obstacles
5. Determine the skills and knowledge that you must acquire
6. Compile a list of people, groups and organisations that you need to associate with
7. Design a clear, step-by-step action plan
9.2.1 Know what you want
Describe what you want so clearly and accurately that you are able to vividly picture the object of your goals
A critical part of achieving a goal is the ability to visualise yourself having already achieved it
What do you want from your career? Take 5 minutes to carefully think through this point.
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9.2.2. Know when you want it
Commit to a clear deadline. The deadline must be specific
This creates motivation, urgency and expectation which provides the drive to follow through on the goal
Vague deadlines result in procrastination
Tight deadlines result in pressure resulting in being productive
When do you want to achieve each of your goals? Take 5 minutes to carefully think through this point.
9.2.3 List the rewards and consequences
List the real motivating rewards and your reasons why you want to achieve your goals
Also list the consequences of not achieving these goals
9.2.4 Identify potential obstacles
Know the things that can delay you or stop you from reaching your goals
This information will save you time, money and heartache
Prepare a plan to overcome the obstacles
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Obstacles are stepping stones and not stumbling blocks
Obstacles to me meeting my goals How I will overcome these obstacles
9.2.5 Determine the skills and knowledge that you must acquire
Personal development is always a requirement of effective goals
Ensure that you are equipped for the job
Theoretical, practical and life skills will probably be needed
Take 5 minutes to list the theoretical, practical and life skills you will need to acquire in order to meet your goals
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9.2.6 List the people, groups and organisations you need to associate with in order to advance your goals
The above can assist us to reach our goals
They provide information, support, contacts, markets and networks
Who will you need in order to meet your goals and how will you get them to “buy in” to helping you?
Who I will need How I will get them to support me
9.2.7 Design an action plan
Consider the outcomes of the previous six steps
Identify what you will need to do to reach your goals
Identify all the major tasks you will need to perform to achieve your goals and the activities of each
Each task must have a timeframe and deadline
Look back at your goals. Take each one in turn and break it down into its major tasks. For each task identify the
activities and allocate timeframes and deadlines.
For example: one of my goals is to be employed by the bank at the end of this learnership. To do this I will need to:
(tasks)
i) Get good marks for my post-learning tests and assignments
ii) Create a good impression with my manager
iii) Learn all about the department I am allocated to and contribute positively to it
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Then, for each task detail what activities this involves specifically and when you will need to do this by, for example:
i) Get good marks for my post-learning tests and assignments
Activities Timelines
Study for the post-test the night before I complete this for Module 1 28 April
Complete Module 1 assignment 05 May
Show it to my mentor and discuss it 06 May
Make any improvements discussed and submit 07 May
i) Now you need to break each of your goals down into tasks
ii) When you have done this break each task further down into activities
iii) Allocate timeframes for each activity
This process will allow you to be clear on what needs to be done and by when. It will also allow you to track your
progress from time to time in order to ensure that you are doing what is necessary to achieve your goals
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9.2.9 Record Lessons Learnt
Each attempt to achieve a goal brings about valuable lessons regardless if you achieve what you wanted to or
not
Failures and mistakes result in experience
The value of recording lessons learnt and successes is that you can reflect on them in the future and be
encouraged, it also assists in avoiding the same mistakes again
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9.3 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Goal Setting and that make sense to you and can be
implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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10 TIME MANAGEMENT THROUGH PRIORITISATION
10.1 The Benefits of Time Management – Individual, Team and Organisational
What would be the benefits to you if you were able to manage your time better?
What benefits would accrue to your working team if you all managed your time more effectively?
If all people in your organisation managed their time better what benefits would result?
10.2 The Impact of Poor Time Management
What impact does poor time management have on your life? If you had an extra hour a day what would you do with it?
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10.3 Major Sources of Time Wasting and How to Manage Your Time More Effectively
What are the major time contributors to your wasting time at work?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Compare your list to the following researched causes of wasted time and try and come up with solutions to each of
these issues.
Major Time Wasters Solutions for Dealing With Them
Telephone interruptions
Switch off your cell
Hold calls until an agreed time
Use e-mail instead of the phone
Drop in visitors
Close your office door
Stand up when they come to talk to you
Do not offer them a drink
Meetings
Make sure you need to attend the meeting
Ensure there is a clear agenda and it is stuck to
Avoid unnecessary meetings
Crises
Manager your time to avoid fire-fighting
Take 5 mins to think clearly about what needs to be done and then
delegate to capable persons
Lack of objectives
Have clear personal and work goals
Develop “to do” lists every day
Organise yourself so that you can work more efficiently – file, index,
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Cluttered desk and personal disorganisation make templates, save relevant information
Ineffective delegation
Coach people so they can be delegated to
Know what can and cannot be delegated
Follow up on delegated tasks
Too much work attempted at once
Prioritise your workload
Understand what is important, and what is a “nice to have” only
Delegate efficiently
Unrealistic time estimates
Learn from previous experience
When estimating add in some leeway
Do not be pressurised into committing to unrealistic deadlines
Indecision and procrastination
Decide to look at everything only once
Consider the alternative courses of action and take a well-reasoned
decision
Confused responsibility and authority
Make sure that everyone is very clear on what needs to be done and
who will do it
Hold team meetings to clarify actions and expectations
10.4 Four Steps to Saying “No”
1. Listen. This lets the requesting person know that you are giving full attention to the request and lets you fully
understand what is being asked.
2. If your decision is no, say no right away, politely but firmly. Don’t build false hopes with wishy-washy answers.
3. If appropriate, give your reasons such as priorities, your schedule etc. this reinforces your credibility
4. If possible, offer alternatives, such as someone else or a different time. Demonstrate your good faith by
suggesting other ways to meet the person’s need.
If a request catches you off guard, don’t say anything until you count to 10 first.
10.5 Planning to Improve Time Management Through Prioritisation
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Setting priorities is easy. You decide on your goal, and then work out what activities must be done to reach the goal.
These activities are your top priorities, the things you do before anything else.
When you seriously think about it, it is not too difficult to determine how to master your time. You ought to do the things
that are most important, those valuable activities that contribute to your goals. However, we don’t always o it that way.
We often prefer to work at tasks that we like or find interesting.
10.5.1 Important vs. Urgent
Priorities refer to important things. In order to get better results, you need to spend more time on doing important tasks.
Unfortunately, most of us are still in the habit of responding not to importance, but to the urgency of things.
Important things are those that contribute significantly to our objectives – they have high value. The more direct the
contribution, the more important the activity. Important things also tend to have long-term consequences. They make a
difference.
Urgent things may only have short-term consequences. They must be done now, they won’t wait. They may or may
not relate to our objectives or make significant contributions. But urgent things are far more compelling than important
things.
We live in constant tension between the urgent and the important. Our problem is that important things must seldom be
done today, or even this week. Urgent things however, call for our attention, applying pressure every hour, every day.
Many of us believe that virtually everything that we do is important. Even if that were true, all certainly are not equally
important. Even though it may be painful to admit it, we spend much of our day engaged in relatively unimportant
activities.
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Work To Do2
Time WastingWork 4
Crisis1
Trivia Work3
URGENT
Yes
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Every activity you do has some degree of both urgency and importance. Generally, activities fall into 4 categories:
1. Crisis – important and urgent
2. Work to do – important, but not urgent
3. Trivia work – urgent, not important
4. Time wasting work – neither important not urgent
One of the key principles for mastering time is to understand that you will always have time for the most important
things… but not if you fill the day with unimportant things first. Your challenge is to decide what are the most important
things, and then to focus on those and ignore or work around others.
10.2 The Pareto Principle
This is the so-called 80-20 rule: 80% of the value comes from 20% of items, while the remaining 20% of the value
comes from 80% of the time. This 80-20 rule can be related to the important-urgent concept. Important, but not urgent
items, are usually part of the 20% that contribute 80% to your results.
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10.3 My Action Plan for Setting Priorities
1. The old habits I want to change or eliminate:
2. The new habits that I want to develop:
3. The steps I will take to be sure I begin strongly:
4. To keep myself from deviating from new habits I will:
5. Which people will I ask to help me, and what will I ask them to do?
6. My priorities for this week / month / year include:
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10.6 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Time Management Through Prioritisation and that make sense
to you and can be implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your
schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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11. DELEGATION
11.1 What Can Be Delegated and What Should Not Be Delegated
Consider the following, which of these tasks should be delegated and which should be retained?
Statement Delegate Do Not Delegate
Projects or tasks that expand the capabilities of the individual X
Selection of staff X
Projects in areas in which you are particularly competent X
Preparation of budgets X
Salary increases X
Recommendations for future activities X
Restructuring department work flow X
Employee discipline X
Performance appraisals X
Developing suggestions for department policies and procedures X
Confidential or sensitive work X
What then do you consider are the guidelines to using when deciding if a task can, or cannot be, delegated?
Confidentiality / sensitivity
Long-term consequences of errors
Development opportunities
Areas in which delegates have insight and experience
Issues in which participation and new ideas are welcomed
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11.2 How To Delegate Tasks
11.2.1 Think and plan first
What do you need to do during this step?
11.2.2 Clarify the responsibility and results intended
How can you achieve this objective?
11.2.3 Select the right person
What characteristics will you be looking for?
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11.2.4 Decide on the authority level
General levels of authority:
Level 1: Get the facts and I will decide
Level 2: Suggest alternatives and I will decide
Level 3: Recommend an alternative and I will decide
Level 4: Decide, wait for my approval
Level 5: Decide, act unless I say no
Level 6: Act, report results
Level 7: Act, report if unsuccessful
Level 8: Act, reporting not needed
11.2.5 Decide on controls and checkpoints
11.2.6 Create a motivating environment
How will you do this?
11.2.7 Hold them accountable
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How will you do this?
11.3 Monitoring and Evaluating Delegated Tasks
The final step in assigning work is following up to ensure that the task or project was implemented or completed
effectively. Following up on work assignments is essential if you are to assure that tasks are completed on schedule
correctly. Naturally, with more competent people the frequency with which you follow up would probably be less than it
would with those who are less competent.
In following up several approaches are possible:
Check periodically to determine progress on the assignment. This can involve the use of informal
questions or a formal review should you feel that it is necessary
On more complex or lengthy assignments, you may wish to have written progress reports submitted
periodically to provide you with regular updates
On more complex assignments you may even wish to establish checkpoints at certain predetermined
dates during which you and the employee would review the status of the assignment.
You may not check at all and decide, because of the nature of this assignment, that it is best to wait until
the employee brings it to you and, at that point, you would review the completed assignment and
determine if any additional work may be necessary. This approach would probably be used only in a
situation where you felt completely confident that few difficulties would arise with the project or where the
task is so simple that it would be foolish to require any close follow up.
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Another important point to consider when planning how to delegate is the set of guidelines you will use to evaluate the
delegate’s performance on the project. Performance guidelines must, of course, take into consideration the complexity
of the project, the abilities and experience of the delegatee, and the situation.
Performance standards can be developed in many areas – for example:
What is the quantity of work expected from this assignment?
What is the quality of work expected?
When should the project be completed?
How much help will the delegatee receive?
What is the budget for the project?
What major performance problems emerged and could they have been overcome if the delegatee had
analysed them thoroughly?
Was the project objective achieved?
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11.4 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Delegation and that make sense to you and can be implemented
in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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12. STRESS MANAGEMENT
12.1 Sources of Stress and Typical Symptoms
12.1.1 Sources of Stress
Stress can have a variety of causes that vary from person to person. Let’s try to think of some sources of:
(i) Personal stress
What personal factors may cause a person to stress?
(ii) Societal stress
What about our society may cause stress in an individual?
(iii) Work-related stress
Causes of stress at work often differ according to the level of post that the person occupies. Managers may be
stressed from trying to make difficult decisions, dealing with people problems, too much responsibility or a heavy
workload. Other workers may suffer from the stress of too little responsibility and not enough control over their work.
Stress can also be caused by the physical demands of the work such as carrying heavy equipment or long hours.
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Stress at the workplace may have a variety of causes including:
Unclear job descriptions
Lack of communication
Poor working conditions
Lack of advancement opportunities
What other causes of workplace stress can you come up with?
12.1.2 Recognising the Symptoms of Stress
There is no single symptom that can identify stress; a common factor in stressed individuals is the presence of a
number of symptoms.
Physical signs:
High blood pressure
Inability to sleep (insomnia)
A feeling of constantly being tired
Headaches
Skin rashes
Digestive problems
Ulcers
Loss of appetite
Overeating
Cramps
Nausea
Breathlessness
Dry mouth
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All of these symptoms may be caused by factors other than stress so beware of jumping to inaccurate conclusions.
However, it is often quite easy to spot signs of stress in the people that you work with. Some of the more common
symptoms include a decline in personal appearance, a quick temper, changes in eating habits and a withdrawal from
social activities.
Which of these physical symptoms have you experienced when you are stressed?
Emotional signs:
Irritability
Anxiety attacks
Depression
Loss of a sense of humour
Inability to concentrate
Becoming unnecessarily emotional or aggressive in conflict situations
Sadness, guilt, a feeling of helplessness or failure
A loss of confidence
Poor concentration, difficulty in remembering and an inability to make decisions
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Which of these emotional symptoms have you experienced when you are stressed?
12.2 Consequences of Not Dealing with Stress Effectively
12.2.1 The Effect of Stress on the Individual
When the human body is under stress it produces chemicals that result in changes to heart rate, blood pressure and
physical activity. Although these physical reactions help you to function more effectively when you are under pressure
for short periods of time, it can be extremely damaging to the body in the long-term. Long-term stress is one of the
primary causes of common conditions like high blood pressure and heart disease; it can also cause mental sicknesses
such as drug or alcohol abuse.
People who are stressed are far more likely to act in a destructive manner, which can have a high cost to themselves,
to employers and to society. Typical symptoms such as mood swings and unpredictable behaviour may distance
colleagues, friends and family. In some cases, this can start a vicious circle of decreasing confidence, leading to more
serious emotional problems such as depression.
Suffering from stress can also cause people to lose their ability to make good decisions, especially if their self-
confidence is low. This affects their health, family and work, since stress in one area of life normally affects all others
too. Bad decisions made in the workplace and at home may lead to accidents, arguments, financial problems or even
the loss of a job.
Can you think of any other effects of stress on the individual?
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12.2.2 Family, Friends’ and Colleagues’ Health
Stress can break up homes and families. High divorce rates can be linked to an increase in stress in the workplace,
especially where both partners work full-time. It is difficult to find the energy to support your family and friends if your
work is very difficult or you are afraid of losing your job.
Can you think of any other effects of stress on the individual’s family, friends and colleagues?
12.2.3 The Effect of Stress on Society
The costs of stress to society are already high – and are increasing. Society bears the cost of public services such as
healthcare for people made ill by stress and disability benefits for accidents caused by stress. Stress also makes
people irritable and often this affects the quality of everyone’s lives.
Can you think of any other effects of stress on society?
12.2.4 The Effect of Stress on Organisations
Stress costs businesses millions of Rands a year due to absenteeism and reduced levels of performance by people
who are physically present but their minds are elsewhere. It is thought that up to 60% of absenteeism is caused by
stress. Workplace stress is often evidenced through:
High absenteeism rates
High staff turn over
Poor workplace relations
Poor quality of work
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All of these problems cost an organisation money in different ways:
Low quality service – an increase in complaints received and customers lost costs time and money.
Complaints take time to deal with, and replacement products or services cost money. Loss of customers
endangers a company
High staff turn over – both time (for re-training) and money (to recruit new staff) are spent on replacing
unhappy workers
Poor reputation – an organisation with unhappy customers is going to have to pay for changes to restore
confidence in its products and services
Dissatisfied workers – valuable time is spent arguing with management over terms and conditions of
employment
Can you think of any other effects of stress on an organisation?
12.3 Measuring Stress and Making Plans to Manage It
Although stress can be measured by factors such as heart rate, it is more to do with how differently a person is
functioning to usual. Since everyone has a different heart rate and blood pressure no national stress figures can be
produced. Also, people react to stress differently – some may suffer nausea, while others experience a lack of sleep
or an inability to concentrate. Men and women often have different responses too. Women often become withdrawn or
depressed, men are more likely to become aggressive, irritable or develop addictions.
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Measuring Stress Levels
Type of Stress Aspects that can be measured
Societal stress –
This is visible in society as a whole and is shown by
declining behaviour
Increased crime figures
Increase in unemployment rates
Educational results
Levels of emigration and immigration
Personal stress –
This causes people to suffer a lack of control and
reduces their ability to function well
Inability to sleep well
Rashes, cramps, headaches
Changes in eating patterns
Increase in cigarette, alcohol and drug use
Organisational stress –
This affects the morale of an organisation which results in
financial and human resource problems
Increases in absenteeism
Decline in quality of work
Increase in work-related accidents
Increase in sick leave
12.3.1 Measuring Your Stress Levels – How Stressed Are You?
The first step to beating stress is to recognise that you have it. Measure you level of stress by responding to the
following statements and mark the option closest to your experience. Be as honest as you can.
If your answer is:
“Never” - mark 1
“Hardly ever” – mark 2
“Often” – mark 3
“Always” - mark 4
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Statement 1 2 3 4
1. I blame myself when things go wrong at work
2. I bottle up my problems and then feel like I want to explode
3. I concentrate on my work to forget my personal problems
4. I take out my frustration and anger on the people closest to me
5. I focus on the negative, rather than the positive, aspects of my life
6. I feel that I do not play a valuable role in my organisation
7. I arrive late for work
8. I do not respond well to criticism
9. I feel rushed even when I am not under pressure
10. I do not have enough time to do the things I enjoy
11. I demand attention or service immediately
12. I do not express my true emotions at work or at home
13. I do not like to take advice from co-workers and superiors
14. I put off dealing with difficult situations when they arise
15. I find it difficult to say “no” to people
16. I get impatient if things do not happen immediately
Analysis:
Now add up your total score and check your stress level by reading the evaluation.
16 – 32: You manage stress very well. Too little stress is also not positive so try to get a balance between
positive and negative stress
32 – 43: You have a safe level of stress but certain areas need improvement
43 – 64: Your level of stress is too high. You need to develop strategies to reduce it.
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12.3.2 Means of Reducing Personal Stress and Preventing Stress Build Up
Once you have identified your stress levels you can start to make plans to either reduce it, or to ensure that it does not
increase. Below is a list of tips on how you may do this:
Learn how to spot your stress warning signals and then do something about them
Talk about what you find stressful with your friends and family
Take a walk or do something you enjoy when stressed
Learn from those who do not suffer from stress
Use travel time to plan your day or switch off and relax
Eat healthily
Set yourself realistic goals so you do not feel stressed by a failure to meet deadlines
Create a “to do” list and cross off each item as you complete it
Do not ignore your problems, address them as they arise
Exercise can be a short-term solution to anger
What other ideas do you have for reducing stress levels?
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12.3.3 Implementing Stress Management Plans
Devising a Five Step Stress Management Plan
Once you recognise that you are stressed the following steps can be taken:
1. Identify what makes you stressed
2. Find out what you can do to reduce these causes
3. Design a solution to your problems and stick to it.
What Makes Me Stressed? What Can I Do to Reduce These Factors?
The Five Step Plan
1. Establish what you really wantUse the table below as a guide, identify what you can do to reduce your stress and list two or more goals per heading.
Be specific and realistic.
2. Add a specific start dateStagger your start date so you can gradually introduce changes. Under “challenges” list the factors that may stand in
the way of you reaching your goals.
3. Take actionNow. This is the most difficult area of goal achievement. Be sure not to postpone action. Be committed to reducing
your stress and getting balance in your life.
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4. Change your life in order to meet your goalsLearn to work smarter, not harder; learn to say “no”; share the workload at home if possible; make time to do things that
you enjoy; manage your time more efficiently – do what it takes to make the changes you need in your life to find
balance.
5. Review your progress against your plan at least once a monthReview your progress against your plan at least once a month and see how you are doing. Praise yourself for
improvements made and come up with new ideas to address areas that still need improvement.
Areas Requiring Change
Goals Start Date Challenges
Look after myself Attend a training course
Read for half an hour a day
Dec 04
Today
Find a suitable course
Find something I want to read
Look after my family Have a picnic with my children once a week
Spend an hour talking with each family
member each week
10 Oct
15 Oct
Work schedule, weather
Their work schedules and
willingness
Sort out finances Save 10% of my salary
Pay off my Edgars account
31 Oct
By Feb
Need a budget and savings
plan
Look after my health Have my blood pressure checked
Walk 20 minutes three times a week
01 Nov
Today
Make appointment
Time constraints
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
12.4 Eight Tips for Avoiding Stress Overload at Work
Staffing organisation Kelly says you can recover from job burnout by following these eight tips:
Stop denying that you are suffering from stress overload. Listen to the wisdom of your body and take the
necessary steps to beat physical and emotional exhaustion.
Avoid isolation. It's easy to cut yourself off from friends and family when you're feeling exhausted and
despondent. But that's exactly when it's most important to focus on developing or renewing intimacies with
friends and loved ones.
Change your circumstances. If your job, your relationship, a situation or a person is dragging you under, try
to alter your circumstances - or leave.
Diminish intensity and anxiety in your life. Prioritise your workload. Develop outside interests that you enjoy,
to bring balance and fun back into your life. Keep your sense of humour.
Stop over-nurturing. If you routinely take on other people's problems and responsibilities, learn to gracefully
disengage.
Learn to say no. An inability to say no may result in you regularly taking on additional tasks when your
schedule is already overcrowded. This is one of the greatest causes of stress.
Begin to back off and detach. Learn to delegate, not only at work but also at home and with friends.
Learn to pace yourself. Try to take life in moderation. Remember that you only have a certain amount of
energy each day.
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CPE L4 – Personal and Social Mastery
12.5 Exercise – The 200 Pillars of Self-Mastery
Refer to the 200 pillars of self-mastery contained at the end of this module. Identify three “pillars” that relate directly to
the principles we have just covered in this Section on Stress Management and that make sense to you and can be
implemented in your daily life. Note them below and how you plan to incorporate them in your schedule.
Pillar 1
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 2
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
Pillar 3
How I will incorporate this in my schedule:
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13. THE TOP 200 SECRETS OF SUCCESS AND THE PILLARS OF SELF-MASTERY
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