dont waste your 20

7/28/2019 Dont Waste Your 20

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Dont Waste Your Twenties

Part 1: Taking Advantage ofthe Unique Powers of the

Twentysomething Brainby Brett & Kate McKay|February 4, 2013At age 20: Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and cofounded Microsoft, and Sir Isaac

Newton began developing a new branch of mathematics.

At age 21: Thomas Alva Edison created his first invention, an electric vote recorder, Steve

Jobs co-founded Apple Inc., and Alfred Tennyson published his first poetry.

At age 22: Inventor Samuel Colt patented the Colt six-shooter revolver, and Cyrus Hall

McCormick invented the McCormick reaper, which allowed one man to do the work of five

At age 23:T. S. Eliot wrote The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, John Keats penned Ode on

a Grecian Urn, and Truman Capote published his first novel, Other Voices, Other Rooms.

At age 24: Johannes Kepler defended the Copernican theory and described the structure of

the solar system.

At age 25: Orson Welles conscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane, Charles

Lindbergh became the first person to fly alone across the Atlantic, New York farmhand

Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, John Wesley began

planting the seeds for Methodism at Oxford, and Alexander the Great became the King of

Persia.

At age 26: Albert Einstein published five major research papers in a German physics journal,

fundamentally changing mans view of the universe and leading to such inventions as

television and the atomic bomb, Benjamin Franklin published the first edition ofPoor

Richards Almanac, Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin, and Napoleon Bonaparte conquered

Italy.
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An impressive list of accomplishments to be sure. And despite how many might interpret this

kind of precociousness, I would argue that these men accomplished what they did

not despitetheir age, but because of it.

A Disposable Decade?

Maybe youve heard it said, or even said it yourself: Thirty is the new twenty.

Things that were once markers of maturity in the past finishing school, landing your first

real job, getting hitched, having kids, buying a house are getting pushed back later in life.

Instead of hitting these milestones in ones early or mid-twenties, as our parents and

grandparents did, economic, sociological, and cultural factors have postponed these steps

for many until the latter part of the decade, and into ones thirties.

This has opened up an unprecedented period of time and development for young adults.

The twenties have been relabeled emerging adulthood or extended adolescence, and

because of its nascent nature, there arent a lot of guideposts on how a man should spend

this new stage of life.

In the absence of such guidance, the twenties have come to be seen as a time to dabble,

drift, and adventure, with the idea that you can get serious about stuff later once you hit

thirty. Thus, the twenties have been branded as disposable an inconsequential holding

period between two decades of schooling and becoming a real adult.

But the idea that ones twenties are unimportant couldnt be farther from the truth. In fact,

thirty is the new twenty is one of the biggest lies of our age.

In this two-part series, well explain why.

This Is Your Brain in Your Twenties

The prevailing view these days is that people used to get started in life earlier simply because

the economy allowed it, or that the Man shamed people into quickly becoming a grown-up

instead of spending time being free, having fun, and exploring, and, since these factors are

no longer in effect, there arent any good reasons for making important and consequential

decisions and commitments in your twenties anymore.

While that explanation of why milestones have been delayed has truth to it, there does in

fact remain very compelling reasons for beginning to shape lifes most important elements

while still in your twenties and they dont have anything to do with culture or economics.

Rather, theyrebiological, and thus timeless they apply just as much to the 1950s as to

today. Now we could delve into one aspect of biology as it concerns delayed adulthood

that of reproduction as it isnt just affected by age for the ladies; aging male sperm is


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thought to beresponsible for mutations that lead to things like autism and

schizophrenia.But well cover that important topic another time.

Today I want to center our discussion on something that transcends fatherhood, and

affects all the big life decisions youll make particularly as it concerns things like career andrelationships, even faith. And thats the twentysomething brain.

The human brain develops from bottom to top and from back to front. At the bottom-center

sits the limbic system, in which resides some of the more primitive parts of our brain, areas

that are responsible for things like sleep, hunger, emotions, sex, and pleasure.

Located at the front of the brain is the prefrontal cortex. Last to develop, it is often referred

to as the CEO of the brain the executive of the mind. It helps you do things like process

probability, regulate emotions and impulses, delay gratification, handle uncertainty and

abstract goals, plan for the future, and make good decisions and judgments.

During adolescence, both parts of the brain swing into action and interact as they move you

towards adulthood. The limbic system revs up your feelings of emotion, motivation, and the

craving for reward, causing your teenage self to feel restless and increasing your desire to do

big things, take risks, experience everything, forge friendships, and become independent

from your parents. At the same time, your prefrontal cortex begins its final maturation and

starts to act as a check to these new surging impulses, attempting to keep you from doing

anything too stupid. (The New York Times has a neat interactive webpage showing your

brain maturation from childhood to young adulthood.)

This is why young adults often seem capable of great maturity at some times, and then do

bone-headed things at other times the impulsive and CEO parts of their brains are having a

tug-of-war, and sometimes one wins, and sometimes the other does. For this reason, your

personality is kind of uneven during this period.

In your early twenties, your prefrontal cortex is almost finished maturing, but not quite.

It used to be thought that the prefrontal cortex finished developing during the teen years,

but we now know that its maturation isnt complete until aroundage 25. What this means isthat from approximately ages 15-25, youre walking around and experiencing the world with

an adolescent brain. This is why almost all of us can look back at episodes not only from

high school, but also from college, that make us shake our heads and ask: What was I

thinking?!

Now, you might gather from all this that its best to wait until your thirties to make big

decisions after all until your prefrontal cortex is fully formed and mature. But this isnt the

case, for as one neurobiologist put it, your twenties are not simply a time of enormous risk,

but also one of enormous opportunity.
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What are those enormous opportunities that your twentysomething brain offers you? There

are two big ones and they only come around once in a lifetime. First is the opportunity to

passionately and uninhibitedly go after big goals, figure out lifes big questions, and make

important commitments. Second, is the opportunity to take an active role in the

development of the executive part of your brain in order to create a foundation for lastingsuccess. (These brain advantages apply to teenagers too, obviously, but twentysomethings

have a lot more leeway to make their own decisions and thus exercise their brains special

powers. Theyre at the crossroads of opportunity and independence.)

In todays post well be focusing on the first advantage of the twentysomething brain;

tomorrow, well delve into advantage numero dos.

Twentysomething Brain Advantage #1: The passionate, uninhibited

motivation to fearlessly go after your passions, figure out lifes bigquestions, and make important commitments.

It may seem like a cruel twist of nature that at the same time you are feeling motivated to

take risks and seek rewards, are experiencing a surge in emotion, and are beginning to

grapple with the complexities of adulthood and make decisions that will influence your

whole future, the executive part of your brain isnt up to speed yet as if youre driving a

car with faulty brakes. And indeed, thats how researchers long saw it that the adolescent

brain was broken recklessly and pointlessly impulsive.

But more recent research has shown that the same qualities of the adolescent brain that can

be liabilities, can also be distinct advantages not accidents of nature at all, but purposeful

evolutionary adaptions. That purpose is to get a young adult to venture from home, strike

out on his own, explore new turf, and take chances in the search for success. Those able to

successfully harness the unique energies of youth have, from time immemorial, gained an

edge over their peers. As neuroscientist B.J. Casey put it, the unbalanced nature of the

adolescent brain is exactly what youd need to do the things you have to do then.

What kind of powers does the adolescent brain give you that you need as you venture into

adulthood? There are three:

Fervent passion Fearlessness in the face of risk A keen and thoughtful curiosity about people and the world

Deep Passion

As weve discussed, during adolescence the limbic system of the brain starts amping up your

feelings of emotion and motivation, while at the same time the prefontal cortex begins to

develop its capacity to check the impulses the former generates. And again, the frontal lobes


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complete their maturation around the mid-twenties. Before that time, the limbic

system, particularly the amygdala, reacts more strongly to stimuli than it does in adults.

While the frontal cortex generates a thinking response, the amygdala produces a more

emotional, gut-oriented reaction.

Neurobiologists arent sure of the exact relationship between the amygdala and the

prefrontal cortex in the adolescent brain (and remember, this is the brain from ages approx.

15-25), beyond the fact that the latter becomes more strongly activated as it matures and

begins to act as a greater and greater check to the former.

But I like to imagine the set-up in this (totally unscientific) analogy: The prefrontal cortex is

like a sieve. In the adolescent brain the holes in the sieve are large, so that stimuli from the

outside world mostly goes right through, and lights up the amygdala, creating an emotional,

gut reaction. As the frontal cortex matures and strengthens, the holes become increasingly

small the net catches and analyzes more and more of the stimuli before it hits the

amygdala, giving the brain the chance to come up with a rational, measured response.

Indeed, the prefrontal cortex is also known as the area of sober second thought, as it is the

part of the brain that weighs the consequences of a choice.

This is why in your teen years, up through your early twenties, you experience things

reallyintensely relationships are intense, spiritual experiences are intense, emotional highs

are high and lows are low. New experiences feel amazing; thrills give you more of a rush.

Stimuli from the world goes directly into the brain instead of being caught in the cortex sieve

and dryly analyzed first. Experiences are able to light up your emotional amygdala, allowingyou to feelthings deeply. Here you have the neurological reason behind the famously fervent

passion of youth.

The intensity of the adolescent brain can make our teenage years and early twenties feel

overly dramatic. But this passion also allows twentysomethings to feel strongly about issues,

causes, people, and spirituality. It can drive you to start movements, take action, and make

commitments steps which are then facilitated by the next twentysomething brain power.

Fearlessness in the Face of Risk

In addition to the intensity and emotion the amygdala brings to the equation, the reward

centers of the brain are also highly sensitive during this time. This drives you to take more

chances.

Contrary to popular belief, adolescents actually overestimate some risks those of the

known variety, like the risk of getting pregnant or getting an STD. But they underestimate

unknown risks anything where the likelihood of winning and losing is ambiguous.

Adults will often shut down the idea of such risks as soon as they cross their minds, but an

adolescent will take time to really consider them.


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Obviously, this penchant for risk-taking can have a down-side theres a reason the

mortality rate for adolescents is triple that of grade-school children. But, fearlessness in the

face of risk can also be absolutely necessary in getting you to go after your dreams and

ideals.

Making any big decision or commitment involves risk will my business fail, is she the one,

will I be happy a thousand miles from home? And risk kicks the prefrontal cortex into high

gear What if this happens? What about x,y,z? Obviously, rational analysis is a great thing,

but there are some things in life where you just have to push down your fear and take the

plunge. The twentysomething brain gives you the fearlessness to do so. But as the prefrontal

cortex gathers strength, it starts to talk you out of doing anything risky and is more inclined

to maintain the status quo. Paralysis by analysis sinks in.

A Keen and Thoughtful Curiosity About People and the World

Now you may be thinking, Sure, twentysomethings have the passion and the courage to

make big decisions, but theyll probably make the wrong ones, because theyre naive and

impulsive! Better to wait until youre older. And its true that researchers have found that

sometimes the reward-seeking adolescent brain does make more reckless decisions, like

choosing to engage in binge drinking or unsafe sex. But thats typically because of social

pressure (the young adult brain is also more sensitive to the judgment of their peers).

Researchers have actually found that in other, less peer-driven and heated situations, when

a reward is at stake, a young adultdesires to get something right, and will actually

take longerto decide, andgather more information before doing so, than adults. Whichmeans, researchers say, that there are scenarios where adolescents will potentially

make betterdecisions than grownups.

The sensitive reward centers of the adolescent brain not only motivate the process of

gathering and pondering information, they also facilitate the learning of new information,

which is why adolescents (when it comes to a subject they enjoy, anyway) can find studying

more pleasurable and satisfying than adults.

All this makes sense: who spends more time willingly examining questions like whats the

true religion and whats the best political philosophy college students or their parents? The

latter often cannot be bothered, while the former cant get enough of delving into lifes big

questions. Because of the sensitive reward system of the adolescent brain, things that feel

like drudgery to grownups, like seeking truth, are deeply rewarding to young adults.

Taking Advantage of the Tripartite Powers of the Twentysomething Brain

I like to think of things like starting your own business, landing your dream job, getting

married, committing to a faith, and even catalyzing a cultural or political movement, as akin

to traveling to space. Once your rocket leaves the earths atmosphere, it can orbit there


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indefinitely. But to reach outer space in the first place, you need a huge, powerful force in the

form of rocket thrusters in order to overcome the earths strong gravitational pull.

Well, your twentysomething brain is that rocket thruster.

Twentysomethings are less daunted by unknown risks, and become more motivated and

thoughtful by the prospect of reward, while adults are the opposite. During your twenties,

youre passionate and ready to learn, and your greater tolerance for risk pushes you

to acton that passion and knowledge.

Unfortunately, your brains rockets fuel is leaking out as you approach thirty.The time for lift

off is now.

Why Your Parents Are Such Squares

Now you finally have an explanation to an observation you probably made growing up:

Man, my parents are so boring. They dont seem to ponder deep things or be that

passionate about anything. They always stick to their routine and are still listening to the

same music they did in college! Ill never end up like that. You probably thought their steady

lameness was a function of their actively deciding to settle, or the result of the way their

responsibilities had worn them down. These things are certainly factors in Adult Boring

Disorder (ABD). But its also because of changes in their brains, changes thatwill happen to

you, too.

Most adults are so boring and risk-averse and dont experience life as intensely because

the sensitivity of the reward centers in their brains have dulled and their mature prefrontal

corti have put the lid on their emotional passions. Your parents musical tastes ended in

college (at least this is my personal theory on the matter) because music doesnt produce the

same intense, penetrating emotional reaction that it did in their adolescence (You gotta

hear this song!) so it doesnt hold their interest as much.

Now it seems to me the frontal cortex/limbic system balance varies from individual to

individual artists and other sensitive types seem to maintain a little more of the emotional

intensity of youth, and of course some devoted listeners do stay passionate about music

their whole lives through. Plenty of people strive to maintain their curiosity and sense of

adventure throughout their lifetime as well so dont get me wrong youre definitely not

destined to become a totally lame-o adult. But after the prefrontal cortex finishes

maturing, everybodymellows out, to one degree or the other.

In some ways, this mellowing of ones intensity seems like a real loss. People have often

wondered why so many talented musicians have died from suicide or drug overdose at age

27 (the so-called Forever 27 Club). Musicians often produce some of their best songs early in

their career songs they wrote in their youth that were fueled by the emotional intensity oftheir adolescent brain. Twenty-seven is right around the time the frontal cortex would finish


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maturing. Is it possible the drop off in the intensity that once fueled their creativity and the

emotion of their songwriting creates a deep despondency in artists? Maybe. Just a personal

theory of mine.

But heres the good news not only will the completion of your brain development notmake the vast majority of us suicidal, youll in fact experience it as a good feeling and

positive change! You can actually feel it happening. There will be a time around your mid-

twenties when you notice a change in yourself. You start to notice that you feel more stable,

more steady, more secure. Youll think about the drama in your life just a few years prior and

wonder what you were thinking you will feel like youve changed a lot since then and

would now handle things much differently than you did then. When you feel this, youll know

your prefrontal cortex has finished maturing.

The pre- and post-stages of the limbic-to-prefrontal-cortex shift in power are neither

bad nor good; each has powers suited to a different stage in life. In your twenties, when

youre making big, important moves and decisions, you need emotion and intensity to spur

you to study and ponder lifes big questions, and the strong motivation to take risks, venture

out, and make commitments. Then, in your thirties and beyond, you need confident

steadiness to overcome your counterproductive impulses and mood swings, and to build the

things you launched in your twenties to grow your business, expand your movement, head

a family.

The trick is simply to take advantage of each power in the season it is given: The twenties are

for launching, while the thirties are for building what you launched.

Conclusion

Todays post highlighted some of the unique powers of the twentysomething brain

namely its propensity for deep passion, fearlessness in the face of risk, and a keen curiosity

about others and the world. But what kinds of things should you channel these powers

towards? Tomorrow well discuss the second once-in-a-lifetime opportunity offered by the

twentysomething brain the chance to train the builder to whom you will be handing

over the reins once the launch of your start-up is complete.

Dont Waste Your 20s Part

2: Train Your Brain for Lasting

Success
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by Brett & Kate McKay|February 5, 2013In Part I of this two-part series we explored the first once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of

the twentysomething brain: its propensity for deep passion, a keen curiosity about others

and the world, and fearlessness in the face of risk. But these qualities are only advantages if

theyre used in the way they were designed: as the motivation to takeintentional, forward-

looking ventures ones that lead to greater learning experiences, personal development,

and independence. Taking a risk to see what its like to shotgun a beer wont get you any

closer to your ideal future.

Rather, at the same time youre launching your passions, you should also be taking

advantage of the second great opportunity of the twentysomething brain: the chance to

take an active role in shaping the development of the executive part of your mind.

If your twenties are for launching, and your thirties are for building, then this is the

opportunity to train your builder, the prefrontal CEO to which youll be handing over the

reins to your start-up post-twenties. Moving from your twenties to your thirties is indeed

very much like launching a company that you know youre eventually going to leave; at the

same time that youre getting things going, you also need to train the guy whos eventually

going to take your place, giving him the skills and abilities hell need to steer the ship once

youre gone. The quality of this training will greatly determine the future success of the

endeavor, i.e., the rest of your life.

Synaptic Pruning in the Orchard of Your Brain

Yesterday we talked about a hugely important process happening in your brain in your

twenties thats crucial for young adults to understand: the simultaneous revving up of the

intense, emotional, risk-taking limbic system, and the maturation of the steady, rational,

impulse-checking prefrontal cortex. But how exactly does the prefrontal cortex mature?

The majority of our brain development happens in two stages: overproduction and pruning.

First, the brain overproduces millions of synapses, more than it could ever use it over-

prepares for whats to come. Then it organizes and prunes this abundance of neural

pathways, getting rid of those not in use and strengthening and stabilizing those that are

much like an arborist prunes dead branches off a tree.

It has long been known that this overproduction/pruning process occurs during an infants

first eighteen months of life. The brain ramps up production of cells to prepare the tot for

learning an enormous amount of information about language and the world around him in a

short period of time. After age three, it begins slowly pruning away the pathways not in use,

so that the human brain is 95% developed by age six.
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What scientists have more recently discovered is that a secondround of overproduction and

synaptic pruning begins in adolescence and extends into a personsmid-twenties. This time,

the brains overproduction of synapses is not centered on things a baby needs to know like

language and motor skills, but rather on the abilities essential to navigating adulthood

rational thought, reasoning, impulse control, goal-setting, and planning. Synaptic pruning isthe process through which the maturation of the prefontal cortex actually happens the way

in which you train your CEO.

Use It or Lose It

So how exactly does synaptic pruning work?

While the completion of the prefrontal cortexs maturation will happen for everyone, not

everyones cortiwill set in the same way. The development of your brain is not simplyshaped by age, but also very much by experience.

Your brain does not prune its excess synapses in a willy-nilly fashion. What gets retained and

what withers away is determined by what gets utilized and what is allowed to lie fallow.

As Meg Jay, author ofThe Defining Decade explains:

In a use-it-or-lose-it fashion, the frontal lobe connections we use are preserved and

quickened; those we dont use just waste away through pruning. We become what we hear

and see and do every day. We dont become what we dont hear and see and do every day.In neuroscience, this is known as survival of the busiest.

Or as neuroscientist Dr. Jay Giedd puts it:

If a teen [or twentysomething] is doing music or sports or academics, those are the cells and

connections that will be hardwired. If theyre lying on the couch or playing video games or

watching MTV, those are the cells and connections that are going to survive.

Basically, what this means is that the education, experiences, and relationships you choose to

pursue in your twenties will determine the course of your brains synaptic pruning process.

This means you need to be intentional about tuning your prefrontal cortex for optimal

performance in the decades to come! What training do you want give to your prefrontal

CEO? What skills and abilities do you want to train your brain to deftly perform for the rest of

your life?

Some folks downplay the importance of the twenties by saying its simply a dress rehearsal

for whats to come. But if thats the case, you need to ask yourself what role it is youre

preparing to play. If youre eventually hoping to nab the role of loving, loyal husband, does

rehearsing by having only casual hookups prepare you for that? If youre hoping to win the


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part of independent business owner, what kind of practice are you getting for that role right

now?

Strike While the Iron Is Hot, and the Metal Is Pliable

This final development of your brain is akin to getting a wiring upgrade after its

completed, the prefrontal cortex will run faster and more efficiently. But what you gain

in speed, you lose in flexibility.

This makes the period before the wiring job is complete a time of enormous opportunity.

While your brain is still flexible and malleable, you can and must take an active role in

shaping how the wire is laid. Never again will it be so easy to shape yourself, learn new

things, and become the man you want to be.

Now dont get me wrong, brains are plastic throughout our lives. We can always change

our habits and behaviors, whether were 20 or 60. But once the adolescent brain finishes

developing and sets, changing our course becomes harder to do. The plastic of the

adolescent brain is more malleable, while the plastic of the older brain is of a harder variety

it takes more kneading and heat to mold it.

Or think of it this way: up through your mid-twenties, molding your behavior is like making

trails through a grassy field. Once your brain is finished developing, it will want to take the

path of least resistance the trails youve already made, the neural pathways that youve

already forged. Creating a new trail, post-twenties, will mean hacking a path through a fieldthat has transformed from gentle grass into a dense, weedy jungle that requires a great deal

more effort to plow through. Its doable, but difficult.

Throughout adolescence and into the mid-twenties, gray matter is pruned as neural

pathways not in use atrophy, while those being utilized are consolidated and organized

more efficiently. As the graphic alludes to, addictions that begin in adolescence get wired

into the brain as it sets, making them hard to shake off in adulthood.

This is why researchers have found that after age thirty, your thoughts, feelings, behaviors,

and personality become relatively fixed and stable. There actually isnt much debate among

experts on this point: some say almost no changes are possible after thirty, while other

say smallchanges are, and thats about the extent of the divide in viewpoints. What they all

agree on is that the majority of who you are is crystallized by age thirty, and as Jay explains,

Our personalities change more during the twentysomething yearsthan at any time before or

after. In our thirties, we simply continue with, or correct for, the moves we made during our

twentysomething years.

The reason there are thirtysomething men (and women) who are still head-scratchingly

immature, is that they figured they could spend their twenties drifting and partying and thenone day when they turned thirty things would magically come together for them and theyd


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be ready to shift into another gear. But when their brains set the plastic hardened the

things that were going on in their lives at the time waking up on someone elses floor and

working at Starbucks had been etched into their corti.

If you dont want to be the guy whos living like hes twenty-three at age forty-four (evenwhen he himself is tired of that life and is ready for a different stage) sculpt your prefrontal

cortex in your twenties by seeking out experiences and commitments that will exercise and

challenge your ability to plan, set goals, and discipline yourself. Stretching yourself now will

solidify the best neural pathways, strengthen and season your prefontal cortex, and create a

cognitive foundation thats prepared not simply for a few years of fun, but for a lifetime of

happiness and satisfaction.

Dont Waste Your Twenties

Understanding more about how the brain works shows that contrary to the idea that these

years are disposable and inconsequential, the pursuits you undertake, the relationships you

form, and the decisions you make during this decade can in fact have an enormous, outsized

impact on who you become and how the rest of your life turns out.

This knowledge, coupled with an understanding of the special powers of the

twentysomething brain we discussed last time, has hopefully convinced you that thirty is the

new twenty is indeed a bunch of baloney. People who tell you: Dont worry. Youve got all

the time in the world, may mean well, but are wrong the twenties are not

interchangeable with every other decade to come. They are certainly not disposable.

Your twenties truly represent a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A confluence of factors

creates a powerful, but short window of time, and you owe it to yourself to make the very

most of it.

But what does that mean? Must you forego exploring and adventure in your twenties and

settle down as soon as possible? Hardly.

Your twenties are in fact the perfect time for adventure and exploration, but the experiences

you choose should have an element ofintentionality. They should not only let you see and

try new things, but also broaden your horizons, impact your character, and help you learn

and grow. Seek experiences that both harness your passions andexercise and stretch the

executive faculties of your mind.

Theres room in your twenties for a season working the ski lift at a resort, but you should also

make room for a season of leading troubled teens on wilderness expeditions. Theres a place

in your twenties for an aimless backpacking trip through Europe, but there also needs to be

a place for a well-building mission to Africa. Its a good time to date, but its also an ideal

time to get hitched.
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Basically, the more of your pursuits that point, however indirectly, towards your end goals,

the better. Its not that you mustcomplete all your goals in your twenties. When I say the

twenties are the perfect time for launching big things, launching does not mean finishing it

meansbeginning.

While I started off the last post by listing some of the notable accomplishments made by

men in their early twenties, I did so in order to showcase the vast, and often overlooked

potential of young men. But just as telling as that kind of list is one that shows the things

twentysomething men were doing that didnt bring themimmediate success, but put them

on the path towards it:

At age 20: Plato became a disciple of Socrates, This relationship paved the way for Plato to

develop new ways of thinking that would eventually become cornerstones of Western

thought.

At age 21: Jack London set sail for the Klondike with the first rush of gold-seekers. His

adventure in the North would create the fodder for many of his most popular articles and

books.

At age 22:Charles Darwin signed on as the HMS Beagles naturalist for a five-year voyage to

South America and the Galapagos Islands. Although his father had told him not to go, saying

it would be a waste of time, the copious notes and observations Darwin made and the

collection of specimens he gathered on the journey would lead him to develop his theory of

evolution.

At age 25: Future mythologist Joseph Campbell rented a shack in Woodstock, NY and

engaged in rigorous and intensive independent study, reading the classics for nine hours a

day, for five years straight.

At age 26:Johnny Appleseed brought apple seeds to the Ohio Valley. Yes, he was literally

planting seeds in his twenties.

At age 27: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. quit his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer and

Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond.

The twenties are not about checking off all of your goals, but rather creating a foundation

that will allow you to build towards them for the rest of your life. As Jay puts it: Theres a

big difference between having a life in your thirties and starting a life in your

thirties.Starting your life and creating a solid foundation involves seeking education,

experiences, and pursuits that align with your goals, challenge you, and thus produce what is

called identity capital. Identity capital includes resume entries like degrees and jobs and

volunteer work, but also our people skills, the ability to be resilient in the face of setbacks,

the ability to solve problems under stress, and an understanding of culture, the world, and

human nature. Studies have shown, Jay writes, that Twentysomethings who take the time to


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explore andalso have the nerve to make commitments along the way construct stronger

identities. These identities are associated with higher self-esteem, perseverance, realistic

expectations, a clearer sense of self, greater life satisfaction, better stress management,

stronger reasoning, and resistance to conformity. All qualities that will stand you in good

stead no matter where lifes journey takes you. Identity capital acts as the currency of careersand relationships; the more you accumulate the richer you become, and the more and

more doors you can open as you move into your thirties and the rest of your life.

Wait Brett! Im Over Thirty and This Series Has Seriously Bummed Me Out! Is

There No Hope for Me?

I definitely noticed that were quite a few comments on the first post to the effect of: Well,

this is depressing. I wish I had read this earlier in my life. Now its too late for me.

Cheer up ye thirty and fortysomethings (or ye spry, tech-savvy seventysomethings). This

series was designed to inspire guys in their twenties to gain an understanding of how much

potential this decade of their life holds, and that it should be taken full advantage of. But I

dont want older folks to walk away from this feeling like theres no hope for them and theyll

just have to settle for wherever they are in life.

I do truly believe that the twenties are the ideal time to make important decisions, start big

things, and make commitments the unique but waning properties of the adolescent brain

make it easier to do so than it will ever be again. But doing big things and making changes

post-twenties isntimpossible, its just harder. There are plenty of examples from history of

men who made their greatest contribution to society later in life (we plan to put together a

list of these late bloomers one of these days as well as cover steps you can take to turn

things around). I also know several regular Joes who turned their lives around after 30 after

spending their 20s drifting and now lead happy, fulfilling, and successful lives. For the

disciplined and the dedicated, the gate to greatness is always open.

So to sum up: if youre a youngin, I beseech you to strike while the iron is hot and not let the

opportunity of your twenties slip away. And if youre a little longer in the tooth, dont wish

for what could have been, but push forward with your might. No matter what your age, astrong and wise captain can always turn the ship around.

dont waste your 20

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