Don’t fall down !!!

A little girl is hanging on a tree and the concerning mother reacts immediately

Hold on tightly !!!

What do you think is the difference in both scenes ??

Similar sort of scene but this time, the mother reacts with different words …

Scene # 1 Scene # 2

Similar instructions resulted in different results

Ooops

Human Brain thinks in pictorial form and it is extremely difficult for it to process a negative image

To process the instruction of “Don’t fall down”, the brain has to first imagine the falling down and then try not to do it.

What happens when you instruct the children “not “ to do anything ??

# 1 – Non Communication

“That’s not how we do it” – It teaches nothing

# 2 – Destructive & causes defensive-ness

“That’s not right” or “It won’t work” – The recipient stops listening or reading

# 3 – Difficult to achieve closure

“No comments” – in-conclusive and open ended

Negative language is the language of losers. Positive language is the language of leadership

Negative language is not negative intent – but it is the choice of negative words even in a positive statement. The likely impacts are:

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.

Try: Presupposes failure.

If: Presupposes that you may not.

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Can't/Don't: force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want.

Don’t hesitate to call

Not a problem

Not a bad idea

There’s no reason why we can’t

There’s nothing you can’t achieve

Can’t do it without your help

I’ll try

Please call me whenever ..

You are welcome

It’s a great idea

There is every reason for us

You can achieve more

Your help would enable us to ..

I’ll give it my best shot

Negative Language Positive Language

Identify the opportunities

•Go through the latest mails/communications and identify any negative language/phrases used

•Replace them with positive phrases to see how it is a lot more effective

Practice

•Practice at work with colleagues or kids at home

Implement

•Implement in mails / calls.

•Observe other team members and point out any misses

Thank - You