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Communicating with Emotional Intelligence

Table of Contents

Introduction.................................................................................................................... 2

Learning Outcomes.......................................................................................................2

Module Topics...............................................................................................................2

Intrapersonal Communication for Leaders.....................................................................3

Interpersonal Communication Principles........................................................................9

Conflict Management...................................................................................................15

Practical Activity...........................................................................................................23

Required Reading........................................................................................................24

Additional Resources...................................................................................................24

2 Academic Leadership for Course Coordinators Program

IntroductionHello and welcome to Communicating with Emotional Intelligence.

In this module, we explore communication from an ‘intrapersonal’ perspective by looking at our internal thinking and how this influences our leadership. Understanding your internal dialogue, in turn, helps you with interpersonal communication and your ability to work with emotional intelligence.

Please Note: There are a number of weblinks throughout this module which are current at the time of publication, if any are broken or fail to open, please advise your Program Coordinator or post a message to the Academic Leaders’ Café in Blackboard in the forum titled, ‘Help us to help you!’ Thank you.

Learning OutcomesOn successful completion participants will:

Develop strategies to monitor self-talk and its influence on personal performance. Use a range of processes to reframe and manage interpersonal conflict. Recognise key communication competencies for leadership.

Module TopicsThis module looks at Emotional Intelligence and its relationship to self-talk and interpersonal communication, including conflict management.

The topics to be covered are:

Intrapersonal Communication for Leaders

Managing Negative Self-Talk – Part 1. Managing Negative Self-Talk – Part 2. Gaining Control of Our Feelings. The House of Change. Faulty Thinking. A Model of Change.

Interpersonal Communication Principles

Introduction. The Johari Window. Effective Listening. The Feedback Process: Obtaining Information. Non-Verbal Messages.

Conflict Management

Introduction. Mapping Strategy. Communication in Conflict Situations - Assertiveness. The Purple Rhinoceros Head.

Let’s look at each one in detail.



Intrapersonal Communication for LeadersManaging Negative Self-talk – Part 1Mark Twain said, "I have had a great many troubles in my life, and most never happened." There is great wisdom in this quotation with respect to self-talk as it illustrates that our own thinking can at times be our own worst enemy.

What do we mean by negative self-talk? Stop for a moment and do nothing for about 20 seconds. Can you hear a little voice in your head talking to you? Probably not, but you probably noticed that you had thoughts running through your head. These are examples of self-talk and sometimes they can be positive, and sometimes they can be negative. The best way to illustrate an example of self-talk (in this case negative self-talk) is to provide an example.

Situation: Susan is a Course Coordinator (CC) and is packing up to leave to go home and pick up her child from day care. A student comes to her office door and asks if they can speak to her about their unit grade. Susan informs the student that she is about to leave and that the student will need to make an appointment during office hours. The student gets angry and says "I can't wait until Wednesday; I want to talk about this grade I received now!" Susan curbs her anger and agrees to see the student for a short time. She advises the student if it is going to take longer than 5 minutes they will have to reschedule.What might be percolating through Susan's mind....?

Inner Thoughts: "I just want to go home. I have worked hard all day. How dare he speak to me like that! What does he think I do here all day...wait to serve him? Doesn't he realise I have so much on! I am the person who is right here, he is wrong for barging into my office and demanding my time. You have no right to be rude, you should always be polite and respectful and not hurt people's feelings."

Feelings: More than likely there would be some feelings of irritation fuelled by this negative self talk ("how am I going to get this student out of my office"), irritation and anger, perhaps even a bit of fear.

You may feel in reading this example that Susan is right and has every reason to feel the way she does. Well yes, and no. The feelings are legitimate but you can see how holding on to these feelings reduces the Course Coordinator's personal effectiveness, power and well being. What the CC needs to do is to overcome the negative feelings and to eliminate any irrational thoughts or beliefs about this experience. For example, the CC feels that all people should be polite and respectful. While a lovely concept, it is irrational in that people aren't always polite and respectful. To get upset and have negative feelings as a result of what somebody else 'should have done', makes you the victim in this situation.

The CC needs to let go of judgements, feelings, attitudes and expectations, and basically act appropriately in terms of what is best for the CC, the student, and the organisation. Otherwise, getting caught up in a cycle of negative self-talk reduces personal effectiveness and outcomes. This concept is illustrated in the following diagram from Grant & Green (2001, 90).



Managing Negative Self-talk - Part 2Susan and ourselves can develop our self-talk management skills so that we become more competent in our role as a Course Coordinator. We do this by being more proactive with respect to identifying negative thoughts that reduce our effectiveness, and by replacing them with more positive thoughts.

By actively intervening in the development of your self-image, you can influence, in a positive way, how you deal with situations. It requires work, however, and you must choose to participate in this transformation. Self-awareness is necessary as you must have the ability to reflect upon situations in a way that enables you to identify, explore and manage your self-talk. This was addressed in Goleman's (1995) emotional intelligence model. Self-awareness is the first component. Managing negative self-talk is a key component of emotional intelligence and an important leadership skill.

Negative self-talk usually develops over years as a result of experiences in our life, eg. failures, criticisms etc. Grant & Green (2001) provide a comprehensive review of negative self-talk. Their ideas are summarised in the following paragraphs.

At our highest level of consciousness we are quite aware of what we say to ourselves, eg. "I'm a great cook, I'm not very good at mathematics." At the next level is automatic self-talk. Normally we are not aware of what is going on at this level but every now and then these thoughts surface into our consciousness. We can train ourselves to become more aware of these thoughts. For example, you may have to give a presentation at a meeting and thoughts that may pop into your head now and then are, "I'm going to do a terrible job", "I'm going to forget important things". Usually there are a series of thoughts that occur together as well. These negative thoughts come from deep underlying beliefs we have about ourselves which are normally subconscious and are linked very closely to our world view. For example:

"I'm not good enough" "Life is so unfair and hard" "Its important that people like me" "Nobody respects me" "I'm not very smart".

By holding on to these self-limiting beliefs as ‘truths’ you can be sure that you will never be good enough, life will be hard, nobody will like you, nobody will respect you! This is the self-fulfilling prophecy in action and it is these thoughts that are not in our immediate awareness that exert the greatest and most consistent influence on our behaviour!!!!

Negative self-talk often emerges because we have preconceived notions or expectations of how things should or must be. For example, self-fulfilling prophecies about impending potential negative consequences that lead us to actually create the prophecy in the end. In other situations we jump to incorrect conclusions or distort reality through the faulty processing of our perceptions. What we



believe exists, in fact, doesn't exist at all. Nonetheless, our version of reality drives the way we think and act. This is similar to distorting the real evidence. For many, we already have a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts or believe that people are being negative. This is the 'glass is half empty' perspective. We can change faulty thinking and reduce stress by changing our thoughts and self-talk (our internal communication). Replacing them with rational and positive thoughts increases our personal effectiveness and has been shown to stimulate the neurological centres in the amygdala and left prefrontal cortex of the brain, the centres responsible for 'good feelings' (Goleman, Boyatzis, McKee, 2001).

Gaining Control of Our FeelingsIn order to become more masterful in managing our self-talk we need to gain better control of our feelings, the second part of Goleman's (1995) emotional intelligence model. Dealing effectively with academic staff, professional staff and students can be difficult if your negative feelings get in the way. It may feel impossible. Believe it or not, you choose your feelings just like you choose your behaviour. Cognitive behaviourists state that our beliefs influence how we feel and behave, rather than the actual events. (Zeus and Skiffington, 2000)

Events by themselves are just events (think about this statement for a while!)

How we evaluate and interpret these events, however, determines our response. For example, all that happened in our example is that a student was rude and demanded some of the Course Coordinator's time. Everything else the Course Coordinator 'felt' was created by their own thinking about the event.

Figure 1 The above diagram illustrates this concept further. When an event takes place we interpret it with our senses. We generate a set of beliefs about what has happened and this influences our thoughts. Our emotions and feelings kick in at this point and influence our reaction or behaviour to the situation. This emotional response occurs quickly and stems from the limbic system in our brain, the more primitive but more immediate emotional response centre. If we can intervene at the 'thought' box, using our neocortex, which is the more recent evolutionary aspect of our brain, and interpret the event in a more positive and rational manner, the negative emotions that were generated initially by the limbic system can be altered. A more productive response with more powerful and effective reaction behaviour ensues.

If our thoughts or negative self-talk limit or sabotage our reaction, they will create a blockage towards dealing with situations productively. If you have ever heard of the term, 'self fulfilling prophecy', it stems from negative self-talk. If you believe that you are going to fail, you probably will. If you believe it is going to be too difficult, it probably will.



The House of Change

In order to heighten your leadership effectiveness as a Course Coordinator, the art of managing your self-talk is largely about getting your house in order. This is illustrated in the diagram by Grant & Green (2001). Here you can see the connection between your emotions (feelings), images (thoughts) and beliefs. These drive your behaviour in specific situations. When considered collectively, they are the underlying factors that allow or prevent you from reaching your goals. So, managing your self-talk is in essence like ‘putting your house in order’. Once you can do this, reaching your goals are more likely to result. How can we apply The House of Change to Susan's predicament? By focussing on the negative thoughts and monitoring one's emotional state, looking at the situation and best behaviour, a positive goal can be attained. Susan must recognise the negative thoughts she is having (this student is rude and shouldn't behave like that) and the concommitant emotional state (frustration) and change them. She wants to leave, so if she is more pleasant she will calm the student down and manage the situation better. While it would be nice if all students were pleasant and understanding, this is not reality, so it is in Susan's best interests to smile, ask the student some questions, and appease their concerns.

The example of the student and the Course Coordinator highlights a key component of negative self-talk, that is, faulty thinking. Zeus and Skiffington (2000, 207) describe several styles of faulty thinking that influence self-talk. See if you can recognise which ones had gripped Susan our Course Coordinator.

Black and white thinking, which excludes any grey areas and seriously limits our interpretations and options.

Setting unrealistic expectations and thereby setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure.

Selective thinking, such as only thinking about the negative aspects of a situation rather than looking at it from all sides.

Catastrophising, such as always thinking of the worst possible scenario. Mistaking feelings for facts. Minimising successes and maximising failures.

Some of the irrational thoughts that we have that influence the generation of negative self-talk and feelings are described in Figure 2 below. Can you identify any of these irrational thoughts that influence your own self-talk?

You may not agree that they are irrational, but if you sit down and really think about them, they are. For example, does everyone have to love/like you? Are mistakes really terrible? Think of all the stress you could eliminate in your role as Course Coordinator if you could release some of these irrational



thoughts that cause negative self-talk which then free you to look at the situation with a more rational lense.

Figure 2In order to manage your feelings more effectively you need to differentiate between wanted and unwanted feelings. Wanted feelings help you deal effectively with the situation and to act constructively. Unwanted feelings get in the way, make it difficult to think clearly and make difficult situations worse. You also have to convince yourself that you alone decide what you feel. Once you have this understanding, you can start to change the way you think to create more wanted feelings. Look at the irrational thoughts you are having and change them. Select more positive emotions to feel. Interrupt some of your old patterns of behaviour or reflexes by recognising that you have a choice in how you feel. Remember, 'feelings' don't solve problems, 'actions' do.

Faulty Thinking Albert Ellis did a substantial amount of work on cognitive behaviour and the link to thinking systems. The items below illustrate some features of faulty thinking adapted from the work of Ellis (1995).

Again, when examining your own self-talk see how often you apply these faulty cognitive processes. Again, what examples can you point to in our Course Coordinator example?

Exaggeration: generalise from one or two aspects or qualities about a situation or person into a totally negative judgement. Overgeneralisation: jump to a conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens you expect it to happen over and over again. Shoulds/Musts: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break your rules anger you or you feel guilty if you break your own rules. Having to be right: Continually concerned to prove that your actions and opinions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate that you are right. Catastrophising: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start to say 'what ifs' to yourself.



Awfulizing: if something doesn't go the way you expected you feel it's absolutely awful and tell yourself that you can't stand it. Self-blaming: you blame yourself for every problem or set-back and mentally put yourself down. Mind-reading: you assume you know what other people are thinking and feeling without their saying so. In particular, you think you know exactly how people are feeling towards you. Fallacy of fairness: you assume you know what is fair and what is not and you feel resentful if other people don't agree.

One way of being in more control of your negative and delimiting self-talk is to actively manage your thoughts. This is now being called, ‘mindfulness’ in the psychological literature. Mindfulness is being aware of one’s thoughts, actions and motivations. These mindfulness strategies come from the area of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and are used in many counselling situations to help people overcome anxiety and depression but they can equally be applied to healthy functional individuals to improve their leadership performance, for example. The steps to actively managing your self-talk and challenging your beliefs seem quite simple. HOWEVER, it is not as easy as you think and takes a lot of PRACTICE.

A Model of ChangeWith this background on negative self-talk and faulty thinking, you should find now that it is possible to actively manage thought processes in a more positive manner. The A - F Model for Challenging Beliefs (Zeus and Skiffington, 2002, 187) is a very useful framework for working through negative thoughts and feelings that interfere with your effectiveness as a Course Coordinator. The example of the CC and the Student is used here as an example.

A: Activating event or situation: student demands to see CC outside of office hours.

B: Self limiting beliefs: I want to be liked by everyone, I can't stand conflict, people should not be rude, and students must respect authority.......

C: Consequences of these beliefs: frustration, anger, defensiveness.

D: Disputing the self-limiting beliefs. It is unreasonable to think everyone must like me. In fact, I have lots of feedback from students saying I am really fair and equitable. This is more important than being liked. Besides, it’s okay if some students don't like me, I can't please everyone and uphold academic standards at the same time. Conflict isn't pleasant, but it’s not awful, I actually can stand it. In fact, I dealt with some really difficult cases before and they resolved very well. And as far as people should not be rude...well that would be nice....but it’s pretty unrealistic.

E: Effective new beliefs: I can be pleasant to this student even though they have been rude. It’s okay if I’m not liked by all students. Conflict isn't that bad, I have been able to solve most conflicts. I know I can make the right decision and ensure that my commitments don’t get overtaken by this individual.

F: New feelings: More confident, able to approach the student as a challenge rather than an ordeal, and in a more professional manner.

Of course this change doesn't come easily and a lot of practice is necessary. It may look really simple and straightforward but overcoming years of conditioning in your subconscious intrapersonal communication can be quite challenging. However, with practice, and developing your emotional intelligence, you will find that you will be more able to actively manage your negative self-talk during and after events. This opens doorways for the next level of communication, which is interpersonal. With your self-talk in order, you can then begin to communicate more effectively with others. Not surprising, this is the third component of Goleman's (1995) Emotional Intelligence Model.

An excellent way to challenge your negative self-talk is by keeping a journal or diary on your negative feelings and associated thought processes, and then applying the A - F model of analysis and faulty



thinking system framework to see if you can alter your thinking. Keep a diary for just a couple of weeks.

Interpersonal Communication PrinciplesIntroductionCommunication skills are one of the most highly ranked attributes employers look for in individuals and the Course Coordinator role is no exception. Not surprisingly, most people need to develop their communication skills further. It is a lifelong learning challenge. The problem is that most people feel they are already effective communicators and that communication problems rest in others. While information technology has done a lot to improve the speed and accuracy of communication, the interpersonal aspects of communication have not improved at the same pace. Some may argue that the advent of communications technology has actually caused a regression in communication competency.

Robbins et al. (1998:356) provide a model of communication which is illustrated in Figure 3. This conceptual model is the framework for the information in this module. A source is required to encode or produce a message and directs it to a receiver, via a channel such as the spoken word, written memo etc..., who then decodes the message.

Figure 3: Communication ModelA variety of problems can interfere with the delivery of the message along the pathway which influences how the parties produce and interpret the communication. This is called noise or feedback. One aspect of miscommunication that often causes problems is the fact that no two people are the same. The same message delivered to two different people may elicit a different response. Part of this stems from the fact that each person has their own 'code' of past experiences which influences how they perceive the world. People also have different wants and needs and these fuel their desires and listening. Hence, people often hear what they want to hear, especially if it serves a particular interest or value.

In this section on interpersonal communication, therefore, we will look at methods to improve the reliability and validity of your communication both in regular and conflict laden situations. The intent is to create congruent communication. Congruent communication ensures that your verbal and non-verbal messages match what each of you is thinking and feeling.

Communication should also validate people and not make people defensive. This can be carried out in part by ensuring that the information you send out is of the appropriate quality. For example, high quality information is important in situations where the stakes are high, or conflictual. Low quality communication may be more appropriate in more friendly or social situations to help break the ice for example.

The Johari WindowThe Johari Window is a conceptual model for describing, evaluating and predicting aspects of interpersonal communication (Luft & Ingham, 1955). It is a useful process for understanding communication and how, for example, conflicts might evolve. Through each of the four panes in the window we present and receive information about ourselves and others. The data flows are dynamic between each window pane and move back and forth, as trust ebbs and flows between individuals as they exchange information.



Figure: The Johari Window (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Johari_Window.PNG)

The arena/open window represents the free and open exchange of information between yourself and others. It is public behaviour available to everyone. The pane increases in size as the level of trust increases between yourself and others. This is the window you want to maximise in your interpersonal relationships as Course Coordinator. This is particularly important with peers and in shared power relationships. It is the pane that reflects the democratic leadership style noted in Goleman's 6 leadership styles.

The façade/hidden window represents your private self. For one reason or another you keep your information hidden. One reason for your facade, for example, could be that you do not feel supported at work and want to protect yourself from being criticised. Unless these assumptions are tested, however, your assumptions may be incorrect. On the other hand, you may keep certain kinds of information secret. ‘Privacy’ may protect you and others. Uncontrolled leaks, however, may damage your relationships with colleagues if they discover that you have been holding back information. Leakage may also occur non-verbally. Your manner, fore head, tone of voice may contradict the content of your message. Withholding information in the hidden window, therefore, can damage interpersonal relationships and cause you to lose trust with your peers. Leadership development also requires that you give up some of the information about yourself in this hidden window so you can learn. By sharing your doubts and weaknesses with your peer coach and perhaps supportive members of your network, you can grow professionally and improve your leadership skills.

The blind spot window represents an important area with respect to personal development. Many of us know and realise that others find things we do/say difficult or puzzling. Precisely what aggravates others will depend upon their overall attitude towards you and their capacity for accommodating your behaviour (their tolerance and flexibility). If they feel some affection for you, their threshold of tolerance will be high. If they have no affection they distance themselves. In a working relationship with low affection/esteem for the other, blind-spot behaviours are a recipe for interpersonal conflict. Course Coordinators can be very helpful to their team by providing developmental feedback


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Johari_Window.PNG


about performance. This information reduces the blind spot and provides people with valuable information on how they might improve their performance. However if there is no trust or affection in the relationship, or the person lacks self-awareness, feedback on a person's blind spot may be received defensively leading to interpersonal conflict. There are ways of providing this information in a way that preserves the relationship which is covered in the material on coaching.

As a Course Coordinator you will also have blind spots. Getting your colleagues to share information about your performance, perhaps through a 360 degree review, can help reduce this blind spot and support your leadership development. It is only through reducing our blind spots, through sharing information in the open window that we grow and develop our leadership capability.

The unknown window represents things that neither you nor the other party know about yourself. As things emerge, the concept moves to either the blind, hidden or open window and is managed within the dimensions of that window pane.

A good understanding of the Johari Window is critical to your success as a Course Coordinator as it illustrates the core dimensions of communication between individuals. You can use the window to analyse interpersonal relationships and to develop strategies to move communication towards the open window. Communication that prevents movement towards hidden or blind spots is the key to being successful as a leader.

Effective ListeningListening is one of the most important leadership skills you can possess to facilitate your effectiveness. Effective listening is the heart of supportive communication. Most of us, however, do not listen effectively. Listening is an active process and we often only retain a small part of what is actually heard. Hearing is not listening! The brain can handle a speaking rate much faster than the average speed of the speaker. Hence, there is lots of time for idle mind wandering when we are listening to people talk. A variety of traits also affect listening effectiveness. These have been described by Pearce, Barker and Johnson (1992) and are listed in the table below. See which personal traits describe you!

Personal Traits that Affect Listening Effectiveness (Pearce, Johnson and Barker, 1993)

Objectivity staying neutral and not getting involved emotionally enhances listening

Age listening increases with age, until you get very oldOpen Mindedness having an open mind improves your ability to listenLevel of self-centredness over-preoccupation with self image, knowledge or importance

reduces effective listeningFocus don't do multiple tasks when trying to listenIntelligence moderate relationship between intelligence and listeningLevel of anxiety and stress stress lowers our ability to listenManagerial risk managers tend to listen better than subordinatesPresence of problems diminish hearingGender women generally considered better listeners; men prefer to listen to

the general, women to the details

Covey (1989) also discusses several aspects of listening. For example: Ignoring - this is obvious. Pretending - this usually involves hearing but not processing the information. Selective listening - which involves processing only parts of the message. Attentive listening - involves paying attention and focusing on what you are hearing. Active listening - is the same as attentive listening with the added components of

paraphrasing, checking and summarising. In other words, actively working on ensuring you have heard the correct message.

Empathetic listening - is discussed by Davis (1998) and involves listening with the intent to fully experience the message and the other person's feeling. This means taking on



board all the emotional and non-verbal signals that accompany communication. You often find yourself in harmony with the other person.

Active listening is a core competency for leadership. Features of active listening involve: Looking interested - face the speaker, eye contact, stay relaxed, lean forward slightly,

maintain open posture. Inquiring without questions or judgment - clarify meanings, get the full story, if you

start to disagree you start to make mental arguments to counter the message, and then of course miss what is being said.

Staying on target - stick to the point, listen for the central theme, think ahead, wait for the complete message, don't interrupt.

Testing your understanding - paraphrase, "Can you rephrase what has just been said?" Evaluating the message - analyse what is said - reasoning, fallacies, generalisations,

cause linked to effect, emotional appeal, evidence, facts or assertion, information source, reliable, language, jargon, body language, voice related indications; your feelings: stay calm, don't get emotional, keep an open mind.

Obviously this section is looking at active listening in the workplace environment during face to face interactions. We can extend this concept of 'listening' to the virtual world of email and online communications as well (e.g. chat rooms, discussions, virtual teams). We can illustrate listening through email by responding in a timely manner to requests for information, acknowledging receipt of data and using emoticons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoticon) to illustrate the message we are trying to communicate. Take a moment to think about how well you manage your communication through the electronic medium!!!!

The Feedback Process: Obtaining InformationIt was no mistake that active listening preceded this section on giving feedback. Giving and receiving feedback is a critical role of a Course Coordinator and coach and has a major influence on work performance. It brings people from the blind spot into the open window. Listening is an integral part of the feedback process. Before you provide feedback it is important to let the receiver of the feedback provide an interpretation based on their own perspective. When this interpretation is combined with appropriate questioning, the required feedback becomes clearer for both parties. As a result, the receiver of the feedback is more receptive to the final message that is being delivered and more importantly, the relationship is preserved. There are a variety of factors that need to be taken into consideration when giving feedback. These are described below.

1. Be specific rather than general.2. Focus on behaviour rather than attitudes - not the 'why' but the 'what'.3. Immediate feedback is better than delayed feedback.4. Be descriptive so that people can find solutions to their own problems. Encourage

dialogue not a monologue.5. Balance feedback so there is both positive and negative elements - what did they do

well/not well. Balanced feedback is more constructive and less likely to cause resentment.6. Provide both formal and informal feedback - the latter supports the former.7. Make sure your feedback is regular and not sporadic.

When you must give negative or developmental feedback, focus on these additional considerations.1. Avoid historical references - focus on the present.2. Don't give negative feedback in public.3. Avoid undue emotion - don't lose your cool or over-react. Otherwise the recipient will be

defensive - monitor your negative self-talk.4. Support the person's self-image while offering constructive feedback. - remember, they

have negative self-talk too.5. Don't overload the person - focus on a single behaviour or issue.6. Avoid premature judgments - actively listen, ask questions, have the person explain the

rationale behind their actions FIRST. This will preserve your image as a fair and reasonable Course Coordinator. Avoid the use of the word ‘you’ as this sounds accusatory. Instead of saying, "Why did you do that?" Ask, "Tell me what happened?" Poor performance is often caused by poor systems. Having people explain their actions


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoticon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoticon


may give you some insights into why academic staff, sessional staff or students are not performing to their optimum.

Why do people dislike giving feedback? Well one of the major problems with giving and receiving feedback is that it is couched within a power relationship. Power complicates feedback by causing people to retreat to hidden windows. Leaders generally have higher power and status than those receiving the feedback. Hence, the power distance gap in itself makes giving and receiving feedback a sensitive issue. This is why peers who support one another through feedback sharing often feel more empowered and will often disclose more to each other than to their superiors - because they have shared power and status.

You can lessen your 'power and status' as a Course Coordinator through your communication. Actively listening to staff and asking open ended questions gets you the information you need to support your team. (e.g. What were your reasons for doing it that way? What do you think the reasons are for the results that were obtained?) You can also use questions to help them discover how they might resolve the situation. While this takes longer, the receiver of the feedback discovers the outcome themselves, through your artful coaching. This keeps the relationship affiliative and supportive in nature and moves the relationship to the open window because the 'feedback' session is non-evaluative. It is this sharing of power and status that is the essence of leadership and for developing a strong network of individuals who support and are willing to work with you. McMaster and Grinder (1980) describe an approach to communication that can help improve the quality and outcome of feedback sessions. Quite often the information that is exchanged in a feedback session is of low quality because people are trying to retreat to the hidden window to preserve self-esteem. Low quality information isn't a bad thing. It occurs, however, more appropriately in social situations or where one is trying to build rapport. When developmental feedback is being provided, however, high quality information is needed to prevent misinterpretation. This is particularly important in difficult interpersonal situations or where problem solving is required. High quality information is risky, however, because it can destroy rapport because it asks for specific details and accountability.

Here are two examples illustrating the difference in low quality and high quality information feedback.

Low Quality Information: "I don't feel you are putting much effort into this unit.

High Quality Information: "What sort of things are you doing to keep up with the development of your online unit?"

The second message provides much higher quality information, and more clearly states the issue and the outcome that is needed. It is also less likely in this case to cause ill will and focuses on the behaviours needed. The low quality statement is much more personal and more likely to cause ill will because it is very judgemental.

Similarly, people during feedback sessions may speak in generalities which reduce the quality of information during discussions. These may be attempts to retreat to the hidden window. A variety of techniques can be employed to 'break' this fuzziness or lack of clarify.

During conversation, if a noun doesn't make sense, ask a noun blockbuster question. For example:

Unspecified Nouns Noun buster question:

We are concerned about how the project is progressing?

Who specifically is included in ‘we’?

What precisely are your concerns?

To get better information from this statement, 'who' or 'what' is combined with 'specifically' or 'precisely' to force the person to restate their message with better quality information.

Action words are verbs; they too can give low quality information. During a conversation, if a verb doesn't provide adequate information, ask a verb blockbuster question. For example:



Unspecified Verb Verb buster question: I tried to obtain that information from the organisation.

How specifically did you try to obtain this information?

By incorporating 'how specifically' in the question, greater insight can be gained into the action that was taken. This also helps both parties to improve their understanding of the situation and coaching can then be designed that is more appropriate.

It is not unusual when something hasn't worked out for people to feel responsible. Often people will speak in generalities to avoid blame or to minimise guilt or shame. These generalities, however, don't facilitate understanding or problem-solving and generality busters are needed to get better quality information. For example, people often say, "I tried everything.", "It always turns out that way.", "Nobody was there to help me.", "It has never happened before." These are generalities and can be broken by basically repeating the same statement as a question with emphasis placed on the generality word. For example, if a staff member states "I tried everything and still the listing didn't get into the courses directory in time for publishing." Your response as Course Coordinator in trying to understand the situation so that you can provide appropriate feedback would be, "You tried everything to get it into the directory in time?" A pause would then follow, indicating to the other person that they must provide more information.

Another form of generality statement that is frequently used to avoid responsibility or to force an issue are ones that imply consequences. For example, "It is impossible and can't be done that way.", "It is critical that it happen tomorrow." Consequence blockbusters again turn the statement back on the creator. For example, if a staff person said, "It is critical that these unit outlines get posted tomorrow .....", your response may be, "What would happen if they didn't get there in time?" "How do you know that will happen?"

All of these techniques are useful strategies for extracting higher quality information out of your team or students so that you can more effectively use feedback to lead and coach them towards organisational objectives. Again, while this information looks at face to face communication, think about how you might apply this to virtual communication. How many times have you received virtual communication and have not fully comprehended the nature of the message? Can you use probing questions, noun and verb blockbusters to improve the quality of the information?

Non-Verbal MessagesThe other significant component of communication is the monitoring of your non-verbal messages. Have you ever been to a meeting where, even though the facilitator said they wanted high participation, they stood at the end of the table and ‘talked at’ the participants seated silently down both sides? It's unfortunate, but true, people who don't plan for real participation won't get it, no matter what they say they want. Standing at the end of a long table sends a strong nonverbal message: DON'T TALK, LISTEN. It's a good setup if you want to discourage participation. This is one example of how non-verbal signals (proxemics) can ruin your best intentions during a meeting.

Dickson et al. (1989) notes that the purpose of non-verbal communication (NVC) is to replace speech and to complement the verbal message. Several examples of non-verbal communication are listed below. Think about how you might use each of these concepts to increase the congruency of your verbal and non-verbal messages to your peers. Also think about how your flight and fight reactions might alter these non-verbal aspects of your communication.

TouchPosture

Gaze/Eye ContactProxemics (space)

Body language/movementsAppearance

Orientation (status)Facial Expression

Para-language



Don't believe me? Well in his book Silent Messages, Albert Mehrabian (1981) reports on the processing percentage of a message communicated through our different communication channels. Generally speaking, Mehrabian says people only hear about 7 per cent of the words that are said. The tone of voice (paralanguage) you use conveys about 38 per cent of the meaning people attribute to your message. Lastly, your body language conveys 55 per cent of the meaning that people interpret from your message. Think about it. If you take the phrase, "I was really unhappy with the quality of that report." Think about how you could change the meaning of that message to someone if you used an angry tone, a supportive tone, an indifferent tone. Add to that body posture that dominates, appears indifferent. Imagine the message being delivered to you from someone on the other side of a big table in a big chair who is looking down on you. Can you now see why miscommunication is common and why it often leads to conflict?

One of the difficulties of online communication is the lack of non-verbal communication. At times this has its advantages because more dominant people can't use their body language to control or steer conversation towards themselves. This enables the more meek or timid individual to get their information into the pool. However, human beings as they are, have invented other ways of expressing themselves outside of the printed word. These of course are emoticons. Visit the Fingertek Web Design (http://www.fingertek.com/smilies.htm), a site that provides some information on emoticons that you can use to expand your knowledge of 'non-verbal communication' in virtual discussions.

There is extensive information on the Internet on strategies to improve your communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Here are a couple of sites you can look at to provide you with examples of how you can elevate your performance as a Course Coordinator in terms of public speaking, meeting management and one on one conversations.

Visit the Select, Assess & Train website (http://www.selectassesstrain.com/hint5.asp), while there, have a look at the other topics on the left hand menu.

After reading Non-verbal communication (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-verbal_communication), scroll to the bottom of the page and have a look at other links on non-verbal communication.

Also checkout Six Ways to Improve Your Nonverbal Communications (http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/commun-1.htm) for tips to improve your verbal and non-verbal communication in the classroom.

Conflict ManagementIntroductionConflict is part of being human and is ever-present in our personal and work lives. Despite this fact, most people have a low tolerance for disagreement which stems from a variety of factors such as family background, culture, personality, religion. Robbins et al. (1996) notes that people recognise that conflict in some cases is good; nonetheless, their actions indicate that they avoid conflict. Conflict can be seen as harmful (old days), good (human relations view) or as neither good nor bad but situational specific (Interactionist view).

Managing conflict is one of the most challenging skills for leaders. Quite often we attribute conflict in the workplace to personality clashes. In reality, it is rarely personality but usually some other issue we can't identify or choose to ignore. There is some inherent blaming in this belief as one assumes that the other party is 'bad' and you're the 'good' person. In fact, it is usually some other system or work issue that often creates the conflict. For example, communication systems may be poor leading to misunderstanding, roles may be incompatible between people or departments, goals may differ between parties, or change and fiscal pressures are increasing stress.

Have you ever had a problem and felt like this? I'm confused. I can't work out what's really going on. I'm stuck. There seems to be no way out of the problem.


http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/commun-1.htm

http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/commun-1.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-verbal_communication

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-verbal_communication

http://www.selectassesstrain.com/hint5.asp

http://www.selectassesstrain.com/hint5.asp

http://www.fingertek.com/smilies.htm




There are too many factors involved. Where do I start? Something else was going on, but I don't know what it was. The situation is hopeless. How inconsiderate! How could somebody behave like that?

Quite often we find the experience of being involved in a conflict overwhelming. The following steps and mapping strategy are a good start to help you work through messy, ill-defined conflicts. After all, how can you start to work through a conflict if you can't define the nature and extent of the conflict?

Typically conflict involves having to deal with another person, and they are not necessarily always angry. There are three general types of individual that sometimes result in difficult interpersonal reactions. Recognising these types and the management strategies for dealing with them can lessen conflict and stress. The three types are: hostile-aggressives; super-agreeables and complainers (Bonner, 2003) and their characteristics and management strategies are described in the table below.

It is important to note, however, that you should be cautious in labelling people with these attributes. People may be under stress, or acting out because of your own leadership decisions. Recognise that you play a part in the person's behaviour. Labelling them as 'difficult' is ‘scapegoating’ and ignores your responsibility as a leader for creating a productive relationship with the staff you work alongside.

Hostile-AggressivesCharacteristics

Abusive, abrupt, intimidating and overwhelming. Critical and make others defensive or helpless. Often stems from their own perceived lack of power or self

esteem.Management Strategies

Acknowledge their anger if angry. Be assertive, let them run down. Get their attention by involving them early, using agendas or

coalitions and then focus on facts. Use problem-solving strategies to neutralise discussion.

Deal with them one on one so their ego is less vulnerable.

Super-AgreeablesCharacteristics

Funny, personable, outgoing and sincere. Want to be liked. Don't produce what they say they will and often make

unrealistic statement or promises. Stems from or a lack of confidence in abilities.

Management Strategies Let them know you like and value them Ask questions to surface any concerns - be assertive. Anticipate that they may not deliver and develop

contingencies.

Understand their aversion to conflict.ComplainersCharacteristics

Gripe but never make changes or take responsibility for action.

Strong opinions about others and use complaints to raise low self esteem and power.

Management Strategies Listen for the 'real' problem while they let off steam -

don't apologise, agree or argue. Focus on solutions by asking questions.



Encourage them to take action, "What action should we take?"

Is it always the other person who is the problem?

While classifications can sometimes help us with figuring out what to do with a certain individual in a conflict scenario, often the true cause of the conflict has nothing to do with the 'personality' of the person. Here are some common features within workplaces that may cause conflict and difficult interpersonal differences. Looking for these possible causes, before labelling a person as 'difficult', is an important first step in your role as a leader in attempting to map out the reasons behind the conflict.

1. Work Overload - too many or too varied tasks - work restructuring is needed.

2. Work Underload - if staff don't have enough to do they feel unimportant and can cause problems by looking for work in other staff areas. They may also be seen as lazy by other staff which creates bad morale and escalates conflict.

3. Conflicting Demands - frustration emerges when there are conflicting demands. For example, having to produce at a high level at the same time the system needs maintenance or a review.

4. Responsibility without Control - being given a project to manage but not having any control or accountability for the team involved in executing the project can lead to conflict. Incorporating accountability structures can help reduce this conflict. Gaining support of formal leaders is critical.

5. Win-lose situations - while competitive systems of reward may be useful, they can result in even excellent performers feel like losers. Many schemes reward top performers, but leave out individuals who have performed at exceedingly high levels, but just not as high as the winner(s). Resent and frustration emerge as a result which leads to conflict.

6. Line and Staff Conflict - line staff have authority for their staff and often have more prestige and authority over budget. Staff positions often don't and may lead to resentment particularly if the staff positions involve high levels of education and problem solving experience. Similar to item 4, clarifying when a Staff person may have authority over operations may help to reduce this conflict.

7. Dead End Jobs - positions without potential for promotion, raises in pay or change of routine may cause conflict because of the frustration and boredom they create. Individuals become forgetful or careless out of boredom which may cause conflict. As a result, they may seek opportunities for recognition and become difficult in their work with others.

Mapping StrategyHaving explored some possible sources and reasons for conflict, the next step involves trying to understand the nature of the conflict and the underlying issues. If you can achieve this deeper understanding, the more likely you will be able to facilitate a positive outcome. Mapping the conflict is an excellent strategy building your understanding and is similar to mind mapping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindmapping).

Step 1: What's the Problem?Using the following example let’s take a conflict between a student, a sessional lecturer and the unit coordinator. The student feels that the grade they have received for the unit is unfair and that the staff member is out to get them. The sessional staff member feels the mark is fair and also states the student has not attended classes regularly and deserves the mark. The unit coordinator is mediating the conflict between the two individuals because the student wants to appeal the grade, and the sessional staff member is angry that the student is trying to play the system. You have been asked to help the unit coordinator resolve the problem.

In this example, there is no need at this point to focus on or analyse the nature of the problem. In this step, you want to identify and explore the issue. For example, who is not being reasonable or fair? The label you might write down is 'fair treatment'. Is there a personality clash and communication


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindmapping

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindmapping


problems? The label could be 'communication'. Don't get anxious about whether or not it is exactly right; simply get down the nature of the issue to be mapped. Keep the problem definition open-ended.

Step 2: Who is Involved?Decide who the major parties are in the conflict - you might list each individual (each member of a team), or whole teams, sections, groups or organisations. In this case you have a student, a sessional staff member and the unit coordinator. As long as the people involved share needs on the issue, they can be grouped together. A mixture of individual and group categories is fine too.

Step 3: What Do They Really Want? What are the needs? What are the fears?

For each major party, you then list the significant needs and fears that are relevant to the issue. The student wants a good grade, they don't feel they have to attend class to still learn and complete the assignments. The sessional staff member believes the only way a student can learn is to attend class and participate in the discussion; they may also fear that they are not an engaging lecturer which is why the student did not attend. The unit coordinator wants to keep the sessional staff member because it is hard to find staff to teach, they fear having to try and find and train up another person. By clarifying some of the motivations behind the issue, and understanding that people are motivated by what they want and move toward, and what they don't want and move away from, you can broaden the picture and the possible options for solutions to be addressed when the map is complete.

NeedsUse this term lightly - it could mean; wants, values, interests or the things you or the other parties care about. Simply ask the question: “Around the issue of X, what are your/their major needs?” You may be asking it of yourself, of another person, or about another person or party. Needs might include:

satisfying and secure work acknowledgement and understanding having everything legal and above board academic standards.

Sometimes the same need applies to several or all groups. What are some of the needs you can identify for the student, sessional staff member, unit coordinator and the Course Coordinator?

Sometimes it's difficult for people to stop thinking about their solutions. For example, each party will want an outcome. However, it may be useful to go and explore their needs again because it is here where a solution may appear.

FearsFears are acknowledged by mapping. These can be concerns, anxieties, and worries. You do not have to debate whether or not the fear is realistic before it is listed. For example, you may have a fear about something your rational mind knows is very unlikely to happen, yet the fear still lurks underneath, wanting to be recognised. These are important to have on the map. One of the real benefits of mapping is the opportunity to air irrational fears and have them acknowledged on the map.What might be some of the fears of the student, sessional staff member and Course Coordinator?

Fears might include: failure and loss of face doing the wrong thing financial insecurity, being rejected, disliked loss of control being judged or criticised uninteresting work being ordered around having to start all over again.

Listing the Right Needs and Fears



The most important thing to remember is to focus on the needs and fears of all parties until the map is complete. Don't be sidetracked into implications, 'what abouts?' or solutions. If the group persists in sidetracks, capture the issue on a separate piece of paper. Stick doggedly to: 'What are the needs? What are the fears?' You may have to sift out solutions being offered as needs.

When someone makes a comment about something in the conflict that isn't working or makes them unhappy or dissatisfied, use your skill to find out what is behind the comment and reshape it as a need or fear. For example, a comment like 'meetings are a waste of time, they go on and on.' You could ask 'What do you need?' 'To spend less time in meetings?' You could also ask 'What are your fears?' 'Not enough time to get my work done.' This broadens the issue from what might otherwise be a digression on whether meetings go on too long or should go on at all. Keep to the whole picture of what people do and don't want out of meetings.

By exploring the needs and fears of all the parties in this conflict, some possible outcomes may emerge which help everyone. For example, could the student resubmit an assignment or do extra work? Can the sessional staff be given some coaching to improve his/her teaching style? Can the unit coordinator be supported to redesign the unit and assessment so students are more likely to attend classes?

You Can Make A Map Any Time, Anywhere and With Anyone!It is best to do your map on a large piece of paper. At a meeting, clip butcher's paper onto an upright whiteboard and write with thick pens. Try to use several colours - one colour for the issue and the parties, another for needs, another for fears. You don't need to have a conflict for mapping - use it to prevent conflict. A conflict mapping template is given below in Figure 4. If you are not going to bring all the parties together, use the map to help yourself manage the conflict and to collect information.Maps can be used before drawing a plan. For example, if a course is going to be redesigned, a mapping exercise with all concerned can make a huge difference to implementing the changes and to the attitudes of those concerned. A good change management technique!

You can do a map by yourself. At times you'll only be guessing how it is for the other parties, but the process broadens your perspective. It will probably highlight some areas you want to know more about, which will give you some good questions to ask others about their needs before you head into solutions.

You can make a map with other people. You can initiate a mapping session in your work or any other group activities you are involved in. It's quite simple to say: 'Let's get a clear picture of the situation before we go further. Let's hear everyone's needs and concerns on this issue.' Maps can be productive for the following:

preparations for negotiations teams or work areas where communications are difficult factions not working well together planning meetings impending change.



Figure 4: A conflict mapping template

Communication in Conflict Situations - AssertivenessAssertive communication is another important aspect of being able to communicate effectively, especially during times of conflict or disagreement. Although the concept is simple, speaking assertively is difficult and takes a lot of practice. Not only must you say the correct words, you also have to ensure your non-verbal signs aren't resulting in mixed messages being communicated. When you are angry, subtle changes in your posture, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language take place. These are much more difficult to control but readily observable by the other party. You need to be able to keep these physical reactions to a minimum so that the verbal message you articulate is 'congruent' with the non-verbal message you are delivering. Congruency is imperative for effective communication. There are two extremes of non-assertive communication.

Non-Assertive <----------------- Assertive -------------------> Aggressive

Non-Assertive Communication In non-assertive communication people fail to communicate what is important to them. They let others violate their rights or infringe upon what is important to them personally. Non-assertive communication does not express needs and allows others to 'take advantage' of you. While this type of communication may be appropriate in some situations (eg. personal relationships - letting your partner get their own way now and then) over time it creates resentment, anger and/or anxiety because personal needs are not being expressed.

Aggressive CommunicationIn aggressive communication people generally stand up for their own rights. However, this is done in such a way that the rights of another are violated. The communication humiliates and dominates the



other person. It is blaming and angry and not just an expression of one's own thoughts. Quite often such communication is the result of pent up hostility or frustration. It often follows a period of non-assertive communication.

Assertive CommunicationAssertive communication, therefore, is about stating your point of view helpfully. Assertive statements are unlikely to do much harm, often move dialogue in the right direction, inevitably changes the current situation in some way, and often open up possibilities that you did not consider.

There are 3 steps or components to assertive communication.

1. Actively listen (refer to earlier notes).

2. Say what you think or what you feel by using the term "I": "I think that...." or "I feel that...." The use of the 'I' word keeps the message neutral and non-threatening and tells the other party that these are your observations. They are not blaming statements and encourage the other party to dialogue around the conflict so that you can develop a shared understanding.

3. Say what you want to happen. After you have said what you think or feel, follow up with what you would like to see happen. This is an opportunity for you to express a tentative outcome or option to the other party for discussion.

Being assertive is not about getting what you want, but about being able to communicate in a way that enables you to present your ideas and opinions in a non-blaming and non-aggressive manner. It builds bridges and opens up communication.

Here is an example of how assertive language works....Mary was upset when John was late for their regular meeting again. It seemed as if John didn't find Mary's time important. Mary was getting angry about having her time wasted by John. She had raised the late arrival to meetings before in a roundabout way but didn't want to hassle him and make things worse. Yet, Mary was not able to use her time efficiently because she was often left waiting for John every Monday afternoon when they had their project meeting. Mary decided she would raise it again but this time using assertive communication.

Mary: "John, when we don't start our meetings on time, I FEEL frustrated that my time is not being used efficiently and WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN is for us to have a commitment about starting on time."

John immediately reacted with some anger...

John: "We had this discussion before, I always try to get here on time, I am busy too you know, I have all sorts of deadlines to meet!"

You don't always get the response you want with your first attempt and using the 'broken record' technique is a good strategy to let the other person really hear your message. Often they don't really hear it the first time because they are dealing with their emotional response.

Mary: "I hear what you're saying John but what I am saying is I am FEELING frustrated too. My time is also not being used efficiently waiting and WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN is for us to discuss some strategies so we can commit to starting on time."

John suddenly heard what Mary was saying and realised that she was eager to find a solution and wasn't blaming or being angry. Assertive communication with good non-verbal congruency diffuses anger and brings people to your level. This is the fourth element of Goleman's (1995) emotional intelligence model, the application of skills to harness more resonant communication. John calmed down and together they were able to discover why John was unable to always start their meeting on time. A new solution that worked for both parties could be discussed. The relationship is preserved and they are able to continue to work productively.



The best "I" statement is free of expectations. It delivers a clean, clear statement of how it is from your side and how you would like it to be.

The Purple Rhinoceros Head Up to this point there has been a lot of information presented on intra-personal and inter-personal communication. Understanding this information is important as it represents the fundamental information for managing difficult interpersonal situations. The following analogy using The Purple Rhinoceros Head (PRH) illustrates how all this material applies to real life conflict.

The PRH is an analogy that illustrates the concept of how people withhold saying things that interfere with the development of productive working relationships. Being able to communicate around a PRH is an important skill for your leadership effectiveness as a Course Coordinator as it helps to keep team relations positive. It is part of the affiliative leadership dimension in Goleman's 6 leadership styles and part of the facilitator role in the Competing Values Framework.

Imagine a big head of a rhinoceros between you and another person. Big and cumbersome and a major barrier between the two of you. Quite ridiculous indeed! A purple rhinoceros head (PRH) is a thought, a feeling, or an intention that we withhold from a person which then inhibits the way we are or what we do around that person.

We can tell if a PRH is present if: We feel uncomfortable and can't be ourselves fully with that person. We avoid a subject or skate around the issue. We worry if we say something about ‘it’, that it may hurt the other person’s feelings. We are critical of the other person and their actions, but do not discuss these issues face to

face with them.

For example, say you have a ‘with-hold’ with your Head of School as a result of an old conflict that never was completely resolved. If these negative feelings or the PRH remains with you, a continual sense of frustration leads to stress and the relationship between the parties starts to deteriorate. If we use our example, let’s say the conflict was around timetabling units and course design. You did not get your preferred structure for the course and as a result the timetable increased your workload. Every time timetables have to be set up for the following year, you feel hurt, have some resentment and feel like you can't share your ideas with your Head of School during this process. This ongoing tension can cause a further break down in communication, potentially escalate conflict and perhaps even waste time. This PRH is a 'with-hold'. In other words, one or both parties are withholding information that impairs honest and full self-disclosure.



Negative self-talk can also cause a PRH to develop. In interpersonal communication, negative feelings often inhibit the way we communicate or what we communicate. We often withhold thoughts or feelings about others because of the possible consequences related to self disclosure. When we don't share what we feel, it results in wasted time, a wrecking of ideas or projects and puts you into an agitated state. This is the cost of a ‘with-hold’. By not feeling that you can be completely open and honest with your Head of School about your time tabling concerns, you may again find that the schedule does not work well for the following academic year.

Managing a ‘with-hold’ involves harnessing your self-talk, using assertive communication, actively listening, mapping the conflict, and at all times monitoring your non-verbal behaviour. You will have the opportunity to work through a ‘with-hold’ in the practical activities section of this module.

Practical Activity

In the Practical activity you will have the opportunity to implement many of the principles of communication covered in this module. The focus will be on active implementation and discussion to reveal issues around communication and leadership effectiveness in the Course Coordinator role.

1. Intrapersonal communication for leadersParticipants work through examples of personal negative self-talk with peer coaches. Faulty thinking systems are identified and positive self-talk strategies initiated.

2. Interpersonal communication for leadersParticipants explore active listening, questioning and feedback principles to build powerful communicative relationships with colleagues and students.

3. Conflict managementParticipants work through a current with-hold with another colleague. Using principles of neuro-linguistic programming and conflict mapping, participants will develop a strategy managing conflict more effectively.

Go to the 'Practical activity & seminar materials' online to access the materials.

If you are completing the Program online, complete the activities and then post your answers to the following questions:

1. Self-Talk exercise. How you might be able to alter the negative self-talk experience?

2. Self-Talk coaching. What outcomes did you achieve for yourself, for the situation?

3. Managing your emotions. What was your result? How are you similar? How are you different?

4. Barriers to effective listening. What barriers to effective listening have your identified?

5. Feedback skills. How effective are you in giving feedback?



Required ReadingBraiker, Harriet B. 1989. The power of self-talk. Psychology Today vol. 23, no. 12, pp. 23-27.

This article provides an excellent and applied overview of negative self-talk and what you can do to start thinking more positively.

Neck, Christopher P. and Barnard, Annette W. H. 1996. Managing your mind: what are you telling yourself? Educational Leadership 53 (6): 24-27.

This article has a focus on educational administration and the principles of managing your self-talk are very well laid out.

Cloke, Kenneth and Goldsmith, Joan. 2000. Conflict resolution that reaps great rewards. The Journal for Quality and Participation Cincinnati 23 (3): 27-30.

This is article provides a 'positive' perspective on conflict and suggests several strategies for dealing with organisational conflict.

Additional ResourcesWebsitesVisit the Vhi Healthcare (http://www2.vhihealthe.com/article/gale/100084360) website and read the article on Cognitive-behavioral therapy. It is a technique that is used to help individuals with maladaptive or faulty thinking patterns. It is a form of psychosocial therapy from which the concept of positive self-talk and managing your emotions evolves. The article is interesting and while it has a clinical focus, you will see the parallels to what is covered in this module. The concepts can be used for 'healthy' people to assist them in further managing their negative self-talk.

Work Teams. This article talks about conflict and teams. As organisations continue to restructure to work teams, the need for training in conflict resolution will grow. Conflict arises from differences, and when individuals come together in teams, their differences in terms of power, values, and attitudes contribute to the creation of conflict. To avoid the negative consequences that can result from disagreements, most methods of resolving conflict stress the importance of dealing with disputes quickly and openly. Conflict is not necessarily destructive, however. When managed properly, conflict can result in benefits for a team.

(These links are current at the time of publication, if they fail please advise your Program Coordinator or post a message on the discussion board in the 'Help us to help you!' forum.)


http://www.workteams.unt.edu/old/reports/Townsley.html

http://www2.vhihealthe.com/article/gale/100084360

http://www2.vhihealthe.com/article/gale/100084360

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