"do or die" starring: (in alphabetical order) tom amandes as
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TRANSCRIPT
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"Do or Die"
Starring: (in alphabetical order)
Tom Amandes as Doctor Harold Abbott Junior
John Beasley as Irv Harper (not in voice-over) and Narrator (in
voice-over)
Vivien Cardone as Delia Brown
Debra Mooney as Edna Harper
Stephanie Niznik as Margaret Nina Feeney (aka Nina) {ONLY IN
OPENING CREDITS}
Chris Pratt as Bright Abbott
Gregory Smith as Ephram Brown
Emily VanCamp as Amy Nicole Abbott
Treat Williams as Doctor Andrew Brown
Also Starring: (in alphabetical order)
Marcia Cross as Doctor Linda Abbott
Sarah Lancaster as Madison Kellner
Special Guest Star:
Philip Baker Hall as Doctor Donald Douglas
Guest Starring: (in alphabetical order)
Merrilyn Gann as Mayor Rose Abbott
Jess Wexiler as Nikki Sleeze
Co-starring: (in alphabetical order)
Cali Carlin as Mindy Devick
Spencer Farr as Bud Green
Jan B. Felt as Louise
Haley McCormick as Susie Clark
Katie Millar as Page
Megan Munroe as Cheryl
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Everwood is produced by Everwood Utah, Inc. in association with
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by Greg Berlanti and Mickey Liddell in association with Berlanti &
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This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry
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episode's teaser was transcribed by Gaby in its entirety and
everything else was transcribed by Rosemary in its entirety.
ADDITIONAL NOTES BY GABY: None currently.
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{TEASER}
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[Open outside Peak County High. We pan as Irv narrates. We see a
sign for Prom, this Saturday 8:00 pm.]
NARRATOR: There are things that go without saying.
[We see Amy and Ephram walking towards school.]
AMY: Prom.
EPHRAM: The inevitable nightmare.
AMY: Like finals.
EPHRAM: No. You see, the finals are a nightmare you can predict.
Pass, fail. These are options. The prom is like a big pimple at the
end of your nose.
[Amy laughs.]
EPHRAM: (CONT'D) Or a giant disaster the entire world can see
with one of a million possible outcomes.
[Amy and Ephram walk some more.]
NARRATOR: And there are things better left unsaid.
[Amy bumps into Page's backpack. Page is with a group of girls.]
AMY: Sorry.
[Amy turns around.]
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PAGE: Oh Amy. I'm so bummed. I just realized that when I booked
Mr. Hollandbag's limo that you and I weren't really...
AMY: Talking.
PAGE: Yeah. So I told Melissa, Robin, and Erin they could have the
extra spots 'cause I thought it would be OK because you know they
were going stag but then...
AMY: They started dating the twins. It's totally fine. No worries.
[Bell rings.]
PAGE: You're the best. I'll, I got the decoration committee so I'll see
you in first. OK. Bye.
[Page walks off.]
EPHRAM: Majoring in sampling her little brother's Ritalin again?
AMY: Something about prom freaks people out. I don't know what it
is.
EPHRAM: I do. Prom.
[Amy smiles. We hear a horn beeping. Amy and Ephram turn
around. We see a Winnebago pulling up. Bright's driving.]
AMY: Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.
[Bright parks and is psyched. He does a gesture to his sister and
Ephram like "What do you think?"]
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AMY: (CONT'D) Oh my God.
[Bright steps out of the Winnebago with the steps that come out.]
BRIGHT: Check it out.
EPHRAM: Uh, it's kinda hard not to.
AMY: Bright, did you rent this?
BRIGHT: For maximum prom enjoyment, ladies and gentlemen, I
give you the Promebago!
[Bright gestures to the RV. Amy and Ephram skeptically follow
Bright.]
AMY: Oh no.
BRIGHT: An innovation in prom transportation. Fully loaded,
reclining bucket seats, tinted windows, DVD, CD, VCR, TV,
refrigerator.
AMY: You're going to prom in this?
BRIGHT: Uh, we're going to prom in this. No need to thank me, you
two. Just get your dates lined up 'cause I've got four seats in this
baby with your names on.
EPHRAM: Uh, you know, I was actually...
BRIGHT: No. Zip it. Nuhuh. None of that. Don't give me that. Don't
give me any of those tears why this is lame. OK? This is my senior
prom. You two are going to rally.
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AMY: Maybe we could rally for something else.
[Bright shakes his head.]
EPHRAM: Yeah, like senior graduation. Which actually requires less
rallying and more sitting and watching.
AMY: Perfect. There you go.
BRIGHT: No, you don't get it. My life is about to start to suck. Big
time. I'm going to be that weird guy who graduates and never
leaves. Like Johnny Richter.
AMY: That guy who works at Sal's?
BRIGHT: See, he doesn't even work there. You just think he does
'cause he hangs out there so much. C'mon, guys. I need this night
to be awesome.
NARRATOR: There are things that should never be uttered aloud.
[Bright gets his backpack out of the Promebago and closes the
door.]
BRIGHT: So, uh, hurry up and get your dates, alright? Slackers.
Time is of the essence.
[Bright playfully taps Ephram's arm as he walks by to go into
school.]
EPHRAM: Hey, uh, Bright. Don't you want to move your RV?
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BRIGHT: Oh no, bro. I got a pass.
NARRATOR: And there are things you got to hear to believe.
[We can see a pass that says PCH on the RV in red background and
gold letters.]
AMY: So what are you going to do?
EPHRAM: What can I do? Go?
NARRATOR: But the ones that stay with us...
AMY: I mean it could be fun maybe under the right circumstances.
EPHRAM: Sedated? God, what am I going about a date? I'm going
to have to hire one or import.
AMY: Well, if you're really worried about it...
NARRATOR: ...are the things we long to say...
EPHRAM: No, it's OK. I mean, I can just pick up some of Bright's
leftovers.
NARRATOR: ...but don't.
EPHRAM: See ya.
[Ephram turns to go into school.]
AMY: Yeah. See ya.
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[Amy's slightly sad and we stay on her watching Ephram go into
school.]
{END OF TEASER / OPENING CREDITS / COMMERCIAL BREAK}
{ACT ONE}
[Fade in – Mama Joy’s – Dr. H. Abbott and Dr. L. Abbott are sitting at
a table.]
DR. L. ABBOTT: So you’re coming to my dinner tomorrow night,
right, Harry?
DR. H. ABBOTT: Well, I would envision so since you’re serving it at
my house.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, I didn’t have enough chairs.
DR. H. ABBOTT: That’s because you don’t entertain. And did I hear
correctly, you’re not only inviting the guest but cooking for them as
well? I fear unemployment has induced dementia?
DR. L. ABBOTT: Just be there, okay, Harry?
DR. H. ABBOTT: So is there some occasion? Hardly seems the time
for festivity and extra expenditures.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Just want to cook dinner for my family, how about
that?
[Dr. Brown walks in and goes to the counter.]
DR. BROWN: Coffee to go please.
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[Dr. Brown sees Dr. L. Abbott and they make eye contact. Dr. Brown
walks over to them. Dr. H. Abbott sees him come over and scoffs.]
DR. BROWN: Hello, Linda. Harold.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Hey, Andy.
DR. BROWN: [to Dr. L. Abbott] You look good.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Well, thank you. Roxanne just cut my hair. We went
a little shorter for Spring.
DR. BROWN: Well, I guess I should be getting back to the office.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Yes. Good. Shoo.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Bye.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Bye.
[Dr. Brown leaves.]
DR. H. ABBOTT: The man should be forceably removed from the
town.
DR. L. ABBOTT: For what – withholding affection?
DR. H. ABBOTT: For being an idiot.
DR. L. ABBOTT: It doesn’t matter, Harry, umm, I’m gonna go but I
was thinking of, uh, stopping, by the office tomorrow and loading
up a few boxes if that’s okay?
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DR. H. ABBOTT: What’s your rush? The office as I recall is already
closed.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, for one I don’t work there anymore.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Do not let one Andrew Brown siting tilt your whole
world perspective into doom and gloom.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Harry, this is my situation. I am not a practitioner of
this community in good standing anymore and I am not dating
Andy Brown anymore. That’s the reality and it’s not gonna change.
[Dr. L. Abbott gets up and leaves.]
[Cut to Dr. Brown’s office. Dr. Brown walks in and sits in front of
Edna who is sitting at her desk.]
DR. BROWN: Think I made a mistake? With Linda? I just saw her
and, uh, I think… Well, you know, I mean, I acted so hastily and…
EDNA: I think you should let it be.
DR. BROWN: Well, what if I’m wrong?
EDNA: You weren’t.
DR. BROWN: How do you know?
EDNA: Because I’m older and smarter than you are and better
looking.
DR. BROWN: I agree with the last part, but, uh, I miss her.
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EDNA: I know you do, Sarg, but Linda doesn’t need anymore
heartbreak in this lifetime, so, back off, okay?
[The telephone rings. Edna picks it up.]
EDNA: Doctor’s office… It’s for you.
DR. BROWN: Take a message. I don’t wanna talk to anybody.
EDNA: Can he return your call? … He says no. It’s a Dr. Donald
Douglas.
[Dr. Brown gets up from the chair and takes the phone from Edna.]
DR. BROWN: Donald, how are you?
[Cut to show Dr. Douglas in an airport.]
DR. DOUGLAS: Andy?
DR. BROWN: Is everything all right?
DR. DOUGLAS: Oh, yeah, no, everything’s fine. Umm, I’m, umm,
I’m in Denver.
DR. BROWN: Denver?
DR. DOUGLAS: Yeah, uh, for a conference. I, uh, thought I might
just drop by for a visit.
DR. BROWN: Well, I’m gonna be honest with you, Donald, now is-is
not a good time.
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DR. DOUGLAS: Oh, no, no, no. I… Sure, I-I understand. But, you
know, I thought I might just stop by.
DR. BROWN: Stop by, it’s-it’s a two hour drive.
DR. DOUGLAS: You know, Andy, it would be great to see you.
DR. BROWN: Of course. Of course. Come on up. You got a pencil.
I’ll, uh, I’ll give you directions from the highway. It’ll be good to see
ya.
[Cut to cafeteria at Peak County High. Amy is sitting at a lunch
table in her own world and Bud is talking to her.]
BUD: And, umm, I was wondering, if you don’t already have a date
which you totally probably do, if you’d like to go to prom…with me.
Go to prom with me.
AMY: That’s-that’s-that’s really nice, uh, just… Actually somebody
I’m-I’m planning on asking.
BUD: Oh. That’s okay. Cool.
AMY: I’m sorry, Bud.
BUD: But if he’s says no or gets in an accident or something?
AMY: Okay. Thanks.
[Bud walks off and Amy looks frustrated and lays her down on the
table. Bright walks up with his lunch and sits next to her.]
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BRIGHT: Man, you got a higher kill rate than the Marines. None of
these guys are good enough for ya.
AMY: None of these guys are thing about prom going to be
anything other than depressing and long.
BRIGHT: What about Todd Jackson? He ask you yet?
AMY: Twice.
BRIGHT: Look, I don’t care who you go with just hurry up and pick
someone, okay?
AMY: Why do you even care? You’re gonna have an amazing time
whether I’m there or not. Speaking of which, have you picked a
date yet?
BRIGHT: I got it narrowed down to my top 6 choices. Today after
lunch, the girls compete in the final challenge – tying Maraschino
cherry stems with their tongues and we wrap it up tomorrow with
the interview.
[Amy gives Bright a look of “for real”.]
BRIGHT: What?? This is not a small choice. I’m taking careful
consideration so nobody’s overlooked.
AMY: Well, I’m sure Mindy Devick will appreciate your
thoroughness. One in which she probably won’t even know what
that means.
BRIGHT: Ha. Ha. Laugh it up, but I’m gonna have the ideal date,
meanwhile, you’re not even gonna have any date. What are you
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holding out for anyways?
[Amy gives Bright another look of “don’t you know”.]
BRIGHT: Ephram. You’re holding out for Ephram. Look, I thought I
told you this whole you and Ephram thing.
AMY: It’s not a thing. I just… I like him.
BRIGHT: I’m just saying it’s not gonna end well. You know, it-it’s-it’s
gonna end with you guys like dividing me up when it all falls
aparts.
AMY: That’s not gonna happen, ‘cause he’s not gonna ask me. I
thought he might because he broke up with Madison and that
whole thing, but he hasn’t and he’s not going to, so…
BRIGHT: So fine, ask him. I don’t care.
AMY: I’m not asking for your blessing, Bright. There’s just no point.
If Ephram wanted to go with me, he would ask me.
BRIGHT: No, he wouldn’t.
AMY: Yes, he would.
BRIGHT: You think he’s a glutton for punishment – a total glutton
for punishment. You rejected the guy like 600 times last year, he’s
not gonna go out on a limb and ask you even if he was dying to.
AMY: Ah, I don’t know.
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BRIGHT: Things always come too easy for you. Now you have to
work a little harder.
[Cut to the Brown house – Amy rings the door bell. Ephram is
coming down the stairs inside and hears it.]
EPHRAM: I’ll get it.
[Ephram goes and opens the front door.]
EPHRAM: Amy?
AMY: Hi.
EPHRAM: Come on in.
[Ephram closes the door behind her and they stand in the foyer.]
EPHRAM: So what’s up?
AMY: I was thinking about this whole prom thing.
EPHRAM: Yeah, actually me too. My dad might let me borrow the
car that night. Could be a good way to get out of the Promebago?
What do you think?
AMY: I think Bright’s kinda into it.
EPHRAM: Yeah, you’re right. It’s probably hopeless, huh?
AMY: But I was actually thinking about what you said – about not
having a date – and I thought that, umm, you know, maybe we
could… It wouldn’t be horrible if we just, you know, went together
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as friends that way we wouldn’t have to have dates or ask dates.
What do you think?
EPHRAM: You know, I know what you’re doing. And you don’t have
to feel bad for me because I can’t get a date.
AMY: Oh, no, Ephram, that’s-that’s not…
EPHRAM: No, I-I know that the like entire school has asked you. And
you know for me, I mean, if I can’t go with Madison, I, uh, just
assume go stag anyways, so…
AMY: Right.
EPHRAM: So, you know, I mean, go on. Go with whoever you want.
Have fun, I mean, don’t worry about me, really. I’ll-I’ll be fine, but,
uh, thank you.
AMY: Oh, no problem. Umm, yeah.
EPHRAM: Yeah, umm, you know, I should probably go.
AMY: Yeah, Good night.
EPHRAM: Good night.
[Amy walks to the door and Ephram lets Amy out and closes the
door behind her.]
{END OF ACT ONE/ COMMERCIAL BREAK}
{ACT TWO}
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[Open in Amy’s bedroom. Bright is at the door and Amy is getting
ready for school.]
BRIGHT: Okay, we are so set. I just lined up Johnny Rickers to drive
the Promebago.
AMY: Oh my God.
BRIGHT: He got his license back like a week ago. He’s willing to do
it for like three bucks an hour plus snacks.
AMY: Nice.
BRIGHT: So what about you?
AMY: What about me?
BRIGHT: Operation Ask a Geek. How’d it go?
AMY: Umm, kind of didn’t.
BRIGHT: What? What? The E-man said no.
AMY: Umm, yeah, kind of, but I don’t even know if he knew what I
was asking him.
BRIGHT: You did use the word “prom”, didn’t you?
AMY: Yes, but I think he might of thought that I meant just as
friends.
BRIGHT: Oh, no, you didn’t go that route did you? Geez, man, give
someone a simple set of instructions. Now I know exactly how my
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teachers feel.
AMY: Look, it doesn’t even matter, because it was like he didn’t
even hear me asking him.
BRIGHT: Because you didn’t ask him. You have got no technique.
Look a guy doesn’t want to be asked like that. That’s gonna make
him feel like he’s a unick or something.
AMY: Look, he doesn’t see me the way he used to.
BRIGHT: He just got the one two punch from Madison, okay. He’s..
His eyes are swollen shut. He can’t see anything. You just got to
ask him again, but for real.
AMY: No way.
BRIGHT: Look, you ask him and then he’ll go with you, okay? And
then that night he’ll see you with your hair all up and your dress all
whatever, and you know, all that girlie stuff. He’s gonna be totally
whipped again.
AMY: No, if I ask him again then he’s gonna know that I like him.
BRIGHT: So?
AMY: So… He’s gonna feel all bad for me that I want him to feel
something that he doesn’t feel anymore. Look, I’m just not ready
for him to know, okay? So lets just drop it.
[Cut to Dr. Brown’s office. Dr. Douglas and Dr. Brown walk into his
office.]
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DR. DOUGLAS: Oh, I like the mural.
DR. BROWN: Umm, Linda says she remembers it from when she
was a little girl when this place was still a train station.
DR. DOUGLAS: She really gotcha, didn’t she?
DR. BROWN: It’s the first time I felt that way since Julia. I was like a
teenager half the time – younger than when you met me.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, you did what you came here to do.
DR. BROWN: Oh, really? And what was that?
[Dr. Brown goes and sits behind his desk and Dr. Douglas sits in a
chair in front of his desk.]
DR. DOUGLAS: Do a one-eighty. Sweep out the old life. Invent a
new one.
DR. BROWN: Well, I didn’t really throw out the old life.
DR. DOUGLAS: Your wife died that was a tragedy beyond your
control. Then you left the field – another tragedy.
DR. BROWN: Hardy comparable.
DR. DOUGLAS: Um, hardly, but a tragedy nonetheless. And then
after Colin…
DR. BROWN: I didn’t do anything wrong with Colin – not a thing.
And if a bunch of paycheck surgeons who couldn’t tell a scalpel
from a spatula want to cast dispersions just because I made a
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moral choice…
DR. DOUGLAS: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Easy tiger. A case
blew up on ya. I mean, when you stand on a pedestal that high,
you have a long way to fall, but there’s always a way though to
climb back up again.
DR. BROWN: You didn’t come here because of the conference in
Denver because there was no conference in Denver, was there?
DR. DOUGLAS: No.
DR. BROWN: So why don’t you pull that puppy out of the briefcase
you’ve been carrying around for two hours and show me why
you’re really here?
[Dr. Douglas pulls the X-Ray out of his briefcase and hands it to Dr.
Brown. Dr. Brown walks over to his light board and puts the X-Ray
on it to examine. Both doctors look at it together.]
DR. BROWN: How old?
DR. DOUGLAS: Mid-sixties.
DR. BROWN: History?
DR. DOUGLAS: Oh, nothing significant. Some bouts of high blood
pressure treated with medication. The, uh, tumor is a benign
Meningioma.
DR. BROWN: Yeah, I can see that. It’s dangerously close to the
parietal lobe.
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DR. DOUGLAS: Yeah, dangerously close not impossibly close.
[Dr. Brown heads back to his desk for his coffee.]
DR. BROWN: I’d tell the guy to take his chances.
DR. DOUGLAS: That’s not what he’s asking.
DR. BROWN: Why don’t you do it yourself then?
DR. DOUGLAS: Because I can’t; because 99 out of 100 surgeons
can’t; because you can.
DR. BROWN: Well, give it to Frick or Carlson?
DR. DOUGLAS: I tried; they turned it down.
DR. BROWN: Oh, so that’s what it’s come to. I’m the guy you call
when you got one you can’t win. I remember those guys, I just
didn’t think I’d be one someday.
DR. DOUGLAS: Do this, Andy? Get your place back.
DR. BROWN: I don’t want my place back.
DR. DOUGLAS: Your reputation?
DR. BROWN: I don’t care what people think of me.
DR. DOUGLAS: Then do it because this patient needs you and you
need him.
[They walk back to X-ray.]
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DR. BROWN: It’s too close to the parietal lobe.
DR. DOUGLAS: And the pressure is going to paralyze him
eventually.
DR. BROWN: Maybe, but I’d probably do more damage and sooner
with a resection.
DR. DOUGLAS: No. No. Not you.
DR. BROWN: Look, I’m not God, Donald. And I’m not predatory
about medicine – not anymore.
DR. DOUGLAS: Okay, I, uh, I promised him I’d make a try.
DR. BROWN: And try you did. You’re just gonna have to dug a little
deeper for this kind of bottom feeder.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, I better get going. Oh, I still have time though
to trounce you at a couple games of chess before I head back.
[Cut to the library at Peak County High. Bright is interviewing the
final girls for his prom date. Amy and Ephram are watching and
listening at a table in the background.]
NIKKI: Which is why I think I would make an incredible prom date.
BRIGHT: That was amazing, Nikki. I never knew that about you and
your brother. You guys raising rabbits competitively to cover his
medical costs.
NIKKI: Thank you. We also raised lambs.
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BRIGHT: Wow. All right, girls, it’s that time. So, Nikki has 16 points.
Mindy has 16 points.
MINDY: Yes.
BRIGHT: Susie has 15.
[Susie's face falls.]
BRIGHT: (CONT'D) Wait, no, 16. Forgot about the double tie on the
stem.
[Susie's happy again.]
BRIGHT: (CONT'D) And Cheryl has 16 points. I can’t believe it. It’s a
four-way tie. You all win.
[The girls look at each other and then scream with excitement. The
camera goes over to Amy and Ephram sitting at the table watching
what Bright was doing.]
EPHRAM: How does he do it?
AMY: What? Act like a moron? It comes naturally.
EPHRAM: Why would all those girls settle for just one date?
AMY: Maybe he’s the only one that they want to go with.
EPHRAM: Well, that’s what blonde hair and a physique will get you.
I got five firls competing not to go with me.
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[Bright walks up to them.]
BRIGHT: I can’t believe it – a four-way tie. I couldn’t let any of the
ladies down now, could I?
AMY: Bright, that’s enough. I just ate.
BRIGHT: But now that I have three extra dates there’s only two
seats left. There’s no room in the Bago. Uh, I’m sorry, but you guys
have to go together.
EPHRAM: Well, I guess it’s kind of the same thing, right? I mean, we
could sit next to each other or we could sit next to each other. I
could get you a corsage.
AMY: Yeah, I guess we could go together.
EPHRAM: Okay. Cool.
[School bell rings.]
EPHRAM: Uh, I gotta go. What color?
AMY: Hmm?
EPHRAM: Corsage? I’m not going through this again.
AMY: Oh, uh, light pink.
EPHRAM: All right. See ya.
[Ephram leaves and Bright sits down.]
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BRIGHT: So did I style you or what?
AMY: Yes, you styled me.
BRIGHT: Okay, I did my part. At prom, you have to tell him how you
feel.
AMY: Bright?
BRIGHT: I did my half, little sister. Now you do yours. Can you
believe it – four dates? God, I rule.
[Cut to the Abbott house. Amy, Bright, Dr. H. Abbott, Dr. L. Abbott,
Rose, Irv, and Edna are sitting at the dining room table.]
ROSE: Linda, this is just lovely.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, thank you for lending me the table and the
chairs and the place.
IRV: It all looks too pretty to eat.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, you better taste it. We might be better off just
looking at it.
EDNA: This is such a good idea. Whatever inspired you?
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, I don’t know, I…
DR. H. ABBOTT: Yes, why don’t you tell them what’s the occasion,
Linda?
DR. L. ABBOTT: There’s no occasion.
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DR. H. ABBOTT: No occasion. None at all. Not for instance, oh, say a
bon voyage party. Goodbye party in which you’re the only one who
knows you’re leaving.
EDNA: Leaving?
AMY: Where are you going?
DR. L. ABBOTT: I’m not – I’m not going anywhere.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Tell us what’s on the, uh, itinerary, Dr. Abbott?
DR. L. ABBOTT: Harry?
DR. H. ABBOTT: Because, uh, Doctors Without Borders seems to
think they’ll be seeing you quite soon in Namibia.
IRV: I hear Namibia has some, umm, very interesting indigenous
art.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I’m not going to Namibia. I’m thinking about going
to Namibia.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Yeah, a meaningful distinction, I’m sure, in a mind
of a thoughtful person.
ROSE: Well, let your sister speak, Harold.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Why should I? What on earth could she possibly
have to say that we have not heard before?
EDNA: [to her son] Sshh. [to her daughter] What is this all about,
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Linda?
DR. L. ABBOTT: I was talking to an old supervisor and he mentioned
there was a clinic there that needed some support and I…
DR. H. ABBOTT: You thought why don’t I just volunteer. Why don’t I
a woman with a chronic illness and a family that depends on me
just up and go back to Africa where my health can deteriorate and I
can be far away from all the people who love me. Good thinking.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I have to have a job, Harry. I have to have a life.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Yeah, and you’re just so bored. We are just so
uninteresting to you.
DR. L. ABBOTT: What are you talking…?
DR. H. ABBOTT: A family isn’t a life. Oh, forgive me, for getting
confused.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I haven’t decided anything. I’m-I’m just considering
it. You know, it’s been a really rough couple of weeks.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Well, you think it hasn’t been hard for me. You
know, not once did I consider abandoning you to get my practice
back. We’re in this together. Gah, why am I even wasting my
breath?
[He gets up.]
DR. H. ABBOTT: (CONT'D) Explaining loyalty to you is like describing
colors to the blind. You just never get it. Just run like you always do.
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[And he finishes as he leaves the dining room.]
DR. H. ABBOTT: (CONT'D) I never though you’d stay anyway.
[Cut to the Brown house. Dr. Douglas and Dr. Brown are coming
down the stairs. Delia is in the foyer waiting on them.]
DR. BROWN: You sure we can’t get you to stay a little longer,
Donald?
DR. DOUGLAS: No, I’m afraid not.
DR. BROWN: Well, next time, it’s gonna be a proper visit.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, I’ll try. [to Delia] Delia, it’s been a pleasure as
always. And I must say you are growing up to be a lovely young
lady.
DELIA: Thank you.
[Dr. Douglas hugs Delia.]
DR. DOUGLAS: Now, you be sure and tell your brother that I said
goodbye, okay?
DELIA: You can leave him a note.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, I-I-I rather that you told him, okay?
[Delia nods.]
DR. DOUGLAS: [to Dr. Brown] Andy, hope that everything works out
for you here.
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DR. BROWN: Meaning?
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, I hope everything…
DR. BROWN: Well, you are very gracious in defeat, Donald, of chess
and other things.
DR. DOUGLAS: That I am. And I want you to know that I-I respect
the decision that you’ve made.
DR. BROWN: Oh, I’m sure we’ll live to argue it another day. Where’s
your, uh, briefcase?
DR. DOUGLAS: Umm, I think I left it in the kitchen.
[Dr. Douglas heads toward the kitchen to get his briefcase.]
DELIA: Hey, Dad, when Uncle Donald comes next time, can we go
to the conference too?
[Dr. Brown and Delia hear Dr. Douglas collapse in the kitchen and
run in there. Dr. Brown rushes to the floor beside Dr. Douglas.]
DR. BROWN: Get me the phone, honey. Dial 911, Delia.
[Delia dials the phone and hands it to Dr. Brown.]
DELIA: What happened to Uncle Donald?
DR. BROWN: He’s sick, sweetheart. [into the phone] Yes, hi, this is
Dr. Andy Brown. I need an ambulance at my house right away.
That’s 2719 Dearborn.
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[Fade out as Dr. Brown is checking his mentor.]
{END OF ACT TWO / COMMERCIAL BREAK}
{ACT THREE}
[Fade in. We're inside the Promebago. Bright, Mindy, Nikki, Susie,
Cheryl, Amy, and Ephram are sitting in there. It's the night of
prom.]
NIKKI: I can’t move my seat.
CHERYL: Maybe you should try pushing the button.
NIKKI: Maybe you could help me move it. You’re bigger.
CHERYL: I think you got more experience with trailers.
EPHRAM: I should have brought a camcorder.
BRIGHT: Hey, uh, pull in here, Johnny. Okay, so which one of you
ladies would like to volunteer for the job of procuring?
EPHRAM: I’ll do it.
AMY: I’m coming.
[Ephram and Amy get out of the RV.]
EPHRAM: Is it just me or is that one Susie exactly like Jerri from
Survivor?
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AMY: Yeah, but that’s Cheryl. She’s just pure evil. I saw her steal
Nikki’s lipstick and replace it with an ugly one.
EPHRAM: Oh, that’s low.
[They walk in the store.]
AMY: Yeah, but the worse was that when Mindy tried to get dibs on
the first dance.
EPHRAM: I thought she was gonna whip out a contract.
AMY: All right, I’m on snack patrol. You’re on drinks.
[Amy takes off down an aisle and Ephram heads toward the drink
case.]
MADISON: Ephram?
EPHRAM: Madison, wh-what are you?
MADISON: Just, uh, getting some munchies. Studying for finals.
EPHRAM: Of course.
MADISON: So, prom?
EPHRAM: Yeah, you know. Umm, whatever.
MADISON: Did you get Mr. Hollenbeck’s limo?
EPHRAM: No, uh, we, uh, we-we got something else. Bigger, but
weirder.
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[Madison looks behind her and see the RV.]
MADISON: That’s great.
EPHRAM: It’s the kind of thing that will be great when you’re tell
the story at 35, but…
MADISON: Did you bring a date?
EPHRAM: Yeah.
[Amy comes around the corner.]
AMY: Ephram, do you think we should have slurpies?
[Amy stops when she notices Madison.]
MADISON: Hey, Amy. You look beautiful.
AMY: Thanks.
[Awkward silence with Ephram, Amy, and Madison.]
AMY: Umm. I will go get these.
EPHRAM: No. I’m… I can-I can get…
MADISON: I gotta go, so.
EPHRAM: No. No. No. Wait. Wait, please.
AMY: Uh, that’s okay. Umm, I’ll get this.
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[Amy takes off toward the cash register. Ephram and Madison look
at each other.]
MADISON: I’ll see you later, Ephram.
[Ephram watches Madison walk away and then looks depressed.]
[Cut to hospital. Dr. Brown walks into Dr. Douglas’ room.]
DR. BROWN: You look good.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, it’s-it’s hard to look worse than chrome.
DR. BROWN: You know, you gave us a scare.
DR. DOUGLAS: Yeah, well, I’m sorry about that. I forgot how
shocking it is.
DR. BROWN: When did, you, umm, first realize that?
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, uh, the first time when I dropped a cup and I
cursed myself for the clumsiness of it. But the second time I knew
something. It took me over a month to go in. You know, the old
adage about doctors, it’s true. But there it was my old friend
Meningioma, come home to roost. I could have laughed about it,
but I-I was so damn mad about the inconvenience of it all.
DR. BROWN: Why didn’t you tell me the truth?
DR. DOUGLAS: I wanted you to consider the case on its merits.
DR. BROWN: Your case has no merits. Any surgeon good enough to
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perform this operation would be smart enough to know that he
shouldn’t, except me.
DR. DOUGLAS: No. No. Oh, no.
DR. BROWN: I’ve made my decision.
DR. DOUGLAS: No, well, then, I-I-I’m reconsidering my request.
DR. BROWN: Come on, don’t do that.
DR. DOUGLAS: Look, don’t patronize me. When you thought it was
an anonymous patient, you said no. Just because it’s someone
whom you want to survive doesn’t give the case itself any more
value.
DR. BROWN: Your life has value to me.
DR. DOUGLAS: Look, I’m not gonna let you operate on me for
purely sentimental reasons. That is Colin all over again and that’s
what got you into this situation to begin with.
DR. BROWN: Well, it’s lucky for you that I’m in it.
DR. DOUGLAS: Well, I think I taught you a little better than that.
DR. BROWN: Well, maybe you taught me wrong. Look, it’s not your
fault, Donald. You saw that I was good at something. You knew I
could be great at it. You knew that I wanted to be and like any
respectable teacher you exploited that hunger. I learned from you
how to be as cold and as calculated and as brutal as greatness
requires. But I don’t have the luxury of greatness any more and
you don’t have the luxury of pride or time. I am doing this surgery.
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[Cut to Prom. Students are dancing. Bright is dancing with all his
dates. Nikki is particularly vying for Bright's attention. Ephram and
Amy are sitting at a table in the back.]
AMY: You want to talk about it?
EPHRAM: Talk about what. How the lamest suckiest high school
event in the entire world was actually made worse by running into
my ex-girlfriend.
AMY: Yeah, that.
EPHRAM: Whatever. Par for the course.
AMY: Do you want to go get something to drink?
EPHRAM: No. I’m all right.
[Cut to the dance floor with Bright and his dates.]
ANNOUNCER: Can I get your attention, please. Peak County
graduating class welcome your prom court. Prom Queen – Nikki
Sleeze.
[Nikki jumps for joy and goes up on stage.]
SUSIE: Bitch.
CHERYL: Ho.
MINDY: I hate her.
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ANNOUNCER: And your Prom King – Bright Abbott.
BRIGHT: Yeah. Yeah.
[Bright gets on stage and is being draped with his cloak.]
BRIGHT: Wow, Well, uh, Prom King. Wow, what an honor.
[Cut back to Ephram and Amy sitting at the table.]
EPHRAM: Well, at least somebody’s having a good time.
AMY: Yeah, such a good time that he wouldn’t realize that his peeps
are gone.
[Cut to Dr. L. Abbott’s house. Edna is talking to Dr. L. Abbott while
Dr. L. Abbott is packing.]
EDNA: I’m not trying to talk you out of it.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, that’s good because I haven’t decided yet.
EDNA: Yes, you have. I just want to know why. You know, it’s all
right if you need a new adventure. I’ve always envied that part of
your life. From the beginning I wondered if this town would ever be
enough for you, but for the first time I’m wondering if you’re
running from rather than to. Is this about Andy?
DR. L. ABBOTT: I don’t know, partly, I guess. I mean, it’s hard to be
here with him and not be with him. Certainly feel pretty alone.
EDNA: You’re not.
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DR. L. ABBOTT: I know, it’s just…
EDNA: I know, feels that way.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Yeah.
EDNA: Maybe if you give it some time.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Yeah, maybe.
EDNA: You know, we love having you here. I love having you here. I
thought maybe standing still would be good for you – knowing my
own inclination for running all the time. Sometimes it takes
someone forcing you to set down roots.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I feel like I tried to set down roots and they all got
dug up.
EDNA: Not all. Just do this for me, okay? Don’t go without making it
right with your brother. Don’t leave that way again.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Mom, you know Harry. He’s never gonna see my
side of it. He’s-he’s just like Dad was. He’s stubborn and thick-
headed and relentlessly unforgiving and just plain mean
sometimes.
EDNA: And lost without you.
[Cut to inside the RV. Ephram and Amy are sitting at the table.]
AMY: Sorry about you seeing Madison. That sucks.
EPHRAM: Nah, that’s all right. To tell you the truth, I know there’s
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not that-that much humiliation left, I sorta bottomed out back at
the whole getting dumped thing.
AMY: You really loved her, didn’t you?
EPHRAM: I don’t know. I mean, you remember last year when I was
totally into you and I’d never felt that way before.
AMY: Yeah.
EPHRAM: Well, I thought that meant something, but I mean, to-to
feel that way about somebody and to have ‘em feel that way back,
it’s…
AMY: It was better.
EPHRAM: It was just more. And not to mention the whole…
AMY: What?
EPHRAM: Nothing. Nothing.
AMY: Sex, right?
EPHRAM: It just changes things, you know, like with you and Colin.
AMY: Yeah, except…
EPHRAM: Well, I-I always just…
AMY: No. Nope.
EPHRAM: But you loved him, right?
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AMY: Yeah. Yeah, a lot. But it gets better in time once you’ve…?
EPHRAM: Yes and no. I think it might be kinda like when my mom
died, you know, it’s one of those things that just changes you. I
mean, ‘cause once you’ve had that once you’ve felt that way about
somebody and they’ve felt that way about you, and-and then it
ends, and-and they don’t feel that way about you any more; it’s
like you’re more alone than before you ever met ‘em. Like the most
along that you’ve ever been.
AMY: Well, maybe someone will come along and you won’t feel that
way any more.
EPHRAM: Yeah, I guess.
AMY: You know, Ephram, what we were talking about earlier. I did
love Colin and so I couldn’t feel that way about you.
EPHRAM: Yeah, I know.
AMY: But it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have.
EPHRAM: No, I-I Get it.
AMY: No, wha-what I mean is.
EPHRAM: No, it’s-it’s like now, I mean, I couldn’t feel that way
about whoever, because, I mean, it’s nothing personal; it’s just, I
mean even though it’s over doesn’t mean that I’m not in love with
her any more, you know?
AMY: Yeah. Yeah. I know.
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{END OF ACT THREE / COMMERCIAL BREAK}
{ACT FOUR}
[Fade in. Dr. Abbott’s office. Louise and Dr. H. Abbott are moving
boxes around.]
LOUISE: So cross-cataloging every patient file by type of visit is
going to help us work more efficiently.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Yes, Louise, we can compare ailments, results,
medications. Furthermore, this way we can do longitudinal studies
of various ailments that present seasonly.
LOUISE: Right. So do you think we might have patients some time
soon?
DR. H. ABBOTT: Louise, we are making wise use of this temporary
work stoppage to improve our minds and our medical practices.
LOUISE: Yes, Dr. Abbott.
DR. H. ABBOTT: We are very fortunate to have this let up in what is
normally an onerous level of patient demand.
[Dr. L. Abbott walks into the office.]
DR. H. ABBOTT: Linda?
DR. L. ABBOTT: Hey, Harry.
LOUISE: I’ll go start on your office files.
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[Louise heads toward the back of the office.]
DR. H. ABBOTT: So mother tells me your mind is made up.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, I just…
DR. H. ABBOTT: Louise is available to help you remove the rest of
your things.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Harry, I need you to know that it’s not that I want to
go.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Oh, I know. I know. Just the wonderless is-is it’s too
powerful for you special folk, you explorers.
DR. L. ABBOTT: No, I don’t think I’m special. I want to stay. I want to
be here foe every little thing that unfolds in your life and in Mom’s.
But I can’t be the Spinster Aunt and move in with you and spend all
my time at your family functions. I have to have something of my
own to go home to at the end of the day or the week. I mean, don’t
you see having watched you and Rose for a year now, I want it so
much. But that’s not what I came here to tell you. I came here to
tell you that I will stay if you need me to.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Oh, come on. Don’t.
DR. L. ABBOTT: No, I mean it. I will. I-I don’t want to abandon you or
Mom. I want to do what’s right and I really can’t see straight now
so I’m asking you as my big brother what I should do.
DR. H. ABBOTT: Go. Go with my blessing. Do what you need to do.
Fine peace wherever it may be for you. I know you’re not leaving
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us.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Thanks, Harry.
[They hug.]
[Cut to the Abbott house. Rose is at the kitchen window and Amy
and Bright are eating at the kitchen island.]
ROSE: Bright, you really must return that Winnebago, it’s an eye
soar.
BRIGHT: An eye soar or a souvenir of the greatest night ever?
ROSE: Either way, I’m afraid the Sullivans are gonna call the police.
Make sure it gets back to Phil’s today, all right?
BRIGHT: Okay.
[Rose leaves.]
AMY: So is that girl, Nikki gonna be okay?
BRIGHT: Um, Hmm. It was just a scratch, but that Susie lost a
clump of hair. Man, I can’t believe those girls can fight.
AMY: Is it really the best night of your life?
BRIGHT: Yes, the best. I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever have that much
fun again.
AMY: What do you mean? What about when you get married and
have kids?
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BRIGHT: I don’t mean like that. Like life changing events. I mean
fun, you know, young, stupid fun. So what’s with holding out with
me? What happened with you and Ephram? Spill it.
AMY: We talked in the RV.
BRIGHT: What? So you told him? Was he like? Did he freak out? Did
he jump for joy? Did he jump you? What happened?
AMY: No, he, umm, he’s not into it.
BRIGHT: What? He’s not into it? He said that?
AMY: Pretty much.
BRIGHT: Wow, big surprise. I never knew that kid had it in him to be
such a bonehead. Kinda sucks, I’m sorry, Ame. But, you know, you
guys are like really different anyways and you know, this way you
could still be friends and we can all hang out. That’s-that’s way
cool that you had the guts to tell him, you know. Way to go.
AMY: Thanks.
BRIGHT: Maybe I’ll, uh, swing by there, see if I can’t take him to
Phil’s with that boat of his.
AMY: Bright, I kinda told him that I wouldn’t talk to you about him
so?
BRIGHT: Hello, I’m not Page. I can keep my mouth shut.
AMY: No, I mean, so don’t even bring it up or hint at it or anything,
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okay?
BRIGHT: Dude, I am a locked safe. I didn’t tell him about Nikki when
I told her I wouldn’t.
AMY: Nikki? I thought you did it with Cheryl.
BRIGHT: Heh. Heh.
[Cut to the Brown house in the kitchen – Dr. Brown is on the phone
and Ephram walks in and gets a water out the refrigerator.]
DR. BROWN: [on the phone] Well, we want to do it as soon as we
can get the OR and personnel. And, uh, I’d like to use Saunders
again. Well, if you could ask him to, uh,… Actually, you know what,
I’m gonna ask him myself. The longer we wait, we… Yeah, exactly.
Okay, well just let me know when you’re gonna slot it in… Thanks,
Jeff. B-Bye.
EPHRAM: Is that about Uncle Donald?
DR. BROWN: Yeah, I think Deborah’s gonna get us in pretty soon,
so…
EPHRAM: Is that weird operating on somebody who’s like family?
DR. BROWN: Yeah, it is weird.
EPHRAM: Isn’t there some sort of rule against that?
DR. BROWN: Yes. I can’t operate on someone, like say you.
EPHRAM: But if it’s like one step removed.
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DR. BROWN: Well, yeah, I mean, it’s all pretty fuzzy. In-in a perfect
world, Uncle Donald could get an equally decent surgeon who he
didn’t have a personal relationship with, but he can’t.
EPHRAM: If he doesn’t do it, will he die?
DR. BROWN: Possibly. Probably.
EPHRAM: If the surgery doesn’t go well, will he die?
DR. BROWN: Well, death and paralysis are the major risks.
EPHRAM: Are you sure you want to do that after?
DR. BROWN: Well, I have no choice.
EPHRAM: Man, I could never be a surgeon. Seems like most of the
time all the possible outcomes are bad.
DR. BROWN: Does that mean I don’t have to start saving for med
school?
[Dr. H. Abbott knocks on the kitchen door. Dr. Brown goes and
answers it.]
DR. BROWN: Harold?
DR. H. ABBOTT: Here.
[Dr. H. Abbott hands Dr. Brown a train schedule.]
DR. BROWN: What’s this? A train schedule?
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DR. H. ABBOTT: I want you to know that this should in no way be
construed as a gesture of friendship, rather a moral imperative.
DR. BROWN: You brushing up on your philosophy, Harold?
DR. H. ABBOTT: I’ve done my duty. Now what you do with this
information is up to you.
DR. BROWN: But I don’t know what this information is.
DR. H. ABBOTT: You’re a bright man at least by reputation. Figure it
out.
DR. BROWN: Harold, this is a…
DR. H. ABBOTT: Just be there, Brown.
[Dr. H. Abbott leaves.]
[Outside Phil’s Garage. Bright and Ephram are walking away from
the RV toward Ephram’s car.]
BRIGHT: I gotta say; I’m really gonna miss that ole girl.
EPHRAM: Well, I have a feeling she’ll still be there if you’ll ever
want to rent her again.
BRIGHT: Yeah, it’s not the same. It’s like Cinderella, you know, she’s
only the Promebago one night, now she’s just a pumpkin.
EPHRAM: You know, that’s king of how I feel about the whole prom.
A big orange vegetable that you couldn’t pay me to eat.
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BRIGHT: Yeah, I gotta say I had a higher expectation for you, bro.
EPHRAM: Uh, it’s a little different when you got four girls competing
to go with you.
BRIGHT: Instead of the girl that you’ve always wanted to go out
with.
EPHRAM: Used to always want to go out with.
BRIGHT: Look, I kinda told Amy, we wouldn’t talk about this, but?
EPHRAM: Talk about what?
BRIGHT: So, it’s just not there for you any more, huh? That sucks, I
mean, don’t take this personal or anything, but, uh, I think you
have bad relationship karma. First, you fall for a girl whose
boyfriend’s in a coma, I mean, that’s like hopelessly bad timing.
Then you go for a girl who’s twenty, again another timing problem.
But now Amy’s back and she’s got like this total thing for you and
she tells you about it the same night you run into the other girl.
What exactly did you tell my sister anyways? Told her that?
EPHRAM: I told her it was bad timing.
BRIGHT: Like I said. Let me in, Dude, I’ll take you to MJ’s for some
cheese fries, you need like help. Hey, do not tell my sister we
talked about this, okay? She’d kill me, but, you know, guys got to
talk about this stuff too, you know, we’re not as dumb and clueless
as they think we are.
[They get in the car. Bright first, not knowing he just spilled the
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beans.]
[Cut to outside train station. Edna and Irv are dropping over Dr. L.
Abbott.]
IRV: Now you call us if you get stuck. I heard there’s some snow in
Chicago.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I will.
EDNA: And I’m gonna ship those boxes as soon as you have
somewhere for me to ship them to.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Thanks, Mom.
EDNA: And you got the food I packed for ya?
DR. L. ABBOTT: Right here.
EDNA: Well, I guess, that’s all then.
IRV: But she can think of some other stuff if she thinks it’ll keep you
here an extra five minutes. I’m gonna say goodbye now, Linda, and
give you two a minute alone.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Okay. Goodbye, Irv.
[Irv and Dr. L. Abbott hug.]
IRV: It was wonderful having you here. You come back soon.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I will.
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IRV: I’ll be in the truck, Edna.
[Irv leaves.]
EDNA: You said you thought you might come back for a visit in
summer.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Oh, more likely fall. Thanksgiving for sure.
EDNA: Don’t forget.
DR. L. ABBOTT: How could I forget?
EDNA: No, I mean, don’t forget when you’re far away and leaving is
inconvenient how much it means to us to have you back.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I won’t forget, Mom.
EDNA: Of course, you’ll have a postcard from me everyday
reminding you, so…
[Dr. L. Abbott starts to put on her backpack.]
EDNA: Here. You want me to help you.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Yeah.
EDNA: Here. Here ya go. You okay? All right, I’m gonna leave now
before I start blubbering, unless you want me to wait until the train
comes.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Uh, uh. I’m okay.
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EDNA: I’m really going now. Goodbye.
[Edna and Dr. L. Abbott hug.]
DR. L. ABBOTT: Bye.
[Dr. L. Abbott starts to head inside and turns to look at Edna. They
wave at each other. Edna is crying.]
[Cut to inside the train station. Dr. L. Abbott walks in and looks at
the train schedule board and turns and sees Dr. Brown and walks
over to him.]
DR. L. ABBOTT: How? How did? Did my mom tell you?
DR. BROWN: Harold came to my house.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you. I wanted you to come
and say goodbye though.
DR. BROWN: I never would have forgiven myself. I wish you told me
that you were considering this.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I didn’t know how and I-I didn’t want you to…
DR. BROWN: Ask you to stay.
DR. L. ABBOTT: And if you did, it would be for the wrong reasons
and I was afraid if you asked me, I-I might stay.
DR. BROWN: I can’t ask you.
DR. L. ABBOTT: I know.
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DR. BROWN: You are the most amazing thing that has ever
happened to me. You gave me my life back.
DR. L. ABBOTT: You already had a life.
DR. BROWN: No. NO. You-you gave me living back. I was just
surviving and-and then I met you and now I wake up every morning
wondering if I made the wrong choice.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Well, it’s a good thing there’s two of us then, ‘cause
I know you made the right one.
DR. BROWN: Maybe, you should.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Sshh.
DR. BROWN: Stay safe, all right? Stay healthy.
DR. L. ABBOTT: Yeah.
[They hug. Dr. Brown kisses Dr. L. Abbott on the cheek.]
DR. L. ABBOTT: Okay, now please go, ‘cause if you stay and watch
me leave, I’ll fall apart.
[Dr. Brown releases Dr. L. Abbott and walks away. Dr. L. Abbott
walks over to a bench in the train station and sits down and starts
to cry. Fade out.]
{END OF ACT FOUR/ COMMERCIAL BREAK}
THE END
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