A year has passed since our family became engulfed in a horrific tragedy. My father-in-law, Harris Teel, was stabbed in the heart

two days before Thanksgiving while sitting in a waiting room at the Good Shepherd day surgery center in Longview. Nurse Gail Sandidge died on the scene, and three others were wounded. Mr. Teel — who was 82 and in good health at the time — died nine days later. A suspect awaits a capital murder trial, another ordeal this family will have to face. My wife and her three brothers lost their father; our daughter and her cousins lost their Papa. The one thing I am more certain of than ever is that none of us will ever be the same.

A number of stories were written at the time about this incident, so Google it if you wish.

I want to talk about how this has affected us, and how the well-meaning but careless words of others can cause even more pain. Maybe someone reading this will think before saying something silly to someone reeling from such a loss.

In the weeks and months after this occurred, the four words any of us — but especially Mr. Teel’s children and grandchildren — hated to hear were, “How are you doing?” Or, to me, “How are they doing?” meaning the family.

There is no good way to answer this. The truth was — and is — we are not doing well at all; that is to be expected. But for the most part, people don’t want to hear that. It

reminds me of a line from “The Late Show,” a Jackson Browne song: “Maybe people only ask you how you’re doing, cause that’s easier than letting on how little they could care.”

That might seem a bit harsh in this situation, but so often when I replied to the question, “How are they doing?” by saying, “Not well,” or simply, “Terribly,” people would recoil, change the subject, or find an excuse to slip away. Especially in the first days and weeks after, when asked that question I wanted to say, “How do you think they are doing? How would you be doing?”

But I didn’t.Other thoughtless remarks and questions

followed in the following months. “She (or he) will feel better when she (or he) goes back to work and things get back to normal.” “Time heals all wounds.” “Are they getting over it yet?”

Here is the thing. There is no “normal” for this family, or for any family of a murder victim. Time does not heal all wounds. Some wounds simply do not heal. You just learn how to live with them. And nobody ever, ever gets “over it.”

Really, there is very little that one can, or should, say to people facing this type of tragedy. I was the primary caregiver for my parents in their final years. Both died in the past five years. As much as I loved them, the pain of their dying from natural causes pales in comparison. That is very hard for others to understand, so please take my word for it.

The more thoughtful responses invariably came from the people who knew us best, and in a few instances from people who have suffered similar losses. All that really needs to be said to someone is that you are sorry for the loss and can’t imagine what they are going through. And is there anything that you can do, any way to help?

Anything else is superfluous and, as I said, often unintentionally hurtful. In the past, at some point I have probably said something similarly ill-thought to someone grieving. It will never happen again.

It was an eye-opener to be on the other side of media scrutiny. Naturally, the newspaper and area television stations wanted to talk to us. We decided from the beginning that there was nothing to say, that the questions would be invariably, inescapably inane. So we watched helplessly as a Tyler station lifted quotes from one of the few pieces I wrote and implied they had directly interviewed me. Just a couple weeks ago, the local newspaper announced to our shock that a trial date had been set for early next year. The story was completely wrong, apparently fabricated out of whole cloth, and required a correction. It only enforced our decision to stay silent, save for what I have written, which has never been about the case. It compels me to be even more vigilant that what we report where I work is accurate, because I personally know how it feels when what is printed or broadcast gets it wrong.

We are a family of strong faith, and for at least some of us it has been sorely tested. I still grapple with trying to understand why this happened, and I guess I always will. I continue to pray for guidance and for at least a small measure of relief for these people I love so dearly, especially as we endure the holidays. And I pray for anyone else who is facing a similar situation, for nurse Gail Sandidge’s family in particular.

It is a hard season.

Gary Borders is editor and publisherof the Daily Tribune.

Email: gborders@dailytribune.net.

The first-ever female ticket for Texas governor and lieutenant governor – Democratic state Sens. Wendy Davis of Fort Worth and Leticia

Van de Putte of San Antonio – couldn’t win the Nov. 4 election.

They couldn’t buck Texas’ Red-State Republican habit of the past two decades. But both are obviously staying active in politics.

Van de Putte has decided to run for mayor of San Antonio, to succeed Julian Castro after President Barack Obama named him Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

The personable pharmacist, mom and grandma is a familiar figure around the Texas capitol, after spending 14 years in the Senate following nine in the Texas House.

She is, of course, still a senator – for now. She drew a four-year term in 2011 following redistricting, and thus did not have to sacrifice her Senate job in 2014 to run for lieutenant governor.

Van de Putte, in announcing Nov. 19 her candidacy to be San Antonio’s next mayor, said she loves the Senate, and was prepared to stay. But she began to get a lot of phone calls.

“I was ready for the new challenges and ready to work with our new lieutenant governor and my colleagues just like I always

have,” Van de Putte told reporters in San Antonio. “I’m going to terribly miss that, but I’m answering the call and the outcry to come home and to continue my public service in the city of San Antonio.”

Faced with being one of just 11 Democrats in the 31-member Senate, to be presided over by Dan Patrick, the far-right Republican senator who beat her for lieutenant governor, running to be mayor of her home city where she is quite popular seemed a pretty obvious choice.

Van de Putte says she’ll continue to serve as a senator until a successor is elected and sworn in, to avoid diluting the Democratic minority even further.

Van de Putte acknowledged that she had earlier said she wouldn’t run for mayor.

“When asked some time this summer would I consider, I was so focused… on the position of lieutenant governor and winning that race that I said, ‘Absolutely not. It’s not entering in my mind’,” she said. “I didn’t even think about it.”

She’s not the only San Antonio legislator running. State Rep. Mike Villarreal, who had replaced her in the House after she won her senate seat in 1999, has been running since May.

Villarreal said he never expected “a cakewalk” in running to be mayor of the nation’s seventh-largest city.

Villarreal, re-elected Nov. 4, plans to resign his new term immediately after the Legislature convenes Jan. 13.

San Antonio State Reps. Trey Martinez Fischer and Jose Menendez say they’ll seek Van de Putte’s senate seat. Since it will

be a special election, they don’t have to relinquish their House seats to run.

As for the special election to fill Villarreal’s House seat, San Antonio City Councilman Diego Bernal and public relations consultant Melissa Aguillon have said they’ll run.

Sen. Davis does not have the luxury of being able to continue as a senator. She had drawn a two-year term for the 2012 election, and thus had to relinquish her senate seat to run for governor.

But two weeks after the election, Davis e-mailed subscribers to her governor campaign, pushing “Ready for Hillary,” the effort to draft Hillary Clinton to run for president in 2016.

“Ready for Hillary just announced a huge online organizing goal to find 100,000 new grassroots supporters who are ready to see Hillary get into this race - and help her when and if she does,” Davis wrote.

The draft effort for the former First Lady, New York senator, and secretary of state “started nearly two years ago with just two volunteers and a post office box,” Davis said. “Today, Ready for Hillary is more than three million Americans strong and this grassroots network continues to build every minute of the day.”

Davis said she was “grateful” for Hillary’s support in her governor’s race, and said she has already signed the Ready for Hillary pledge of support.

Dave McNeely is a veteranTexas political writer.

Email: davemcneely111@gmail.com

Texas environmental regulators have an opportunity to show leadership on controlling methane emissions from natural gas production. If

they don’t step up, they’ll have no one else to blame when the federal government steps in with a one-size-fits-all policy.

Natural gas is a cleaner alternative to oil and coal, but it also produces methane, a greenhouse gas that arguably is a greater contributor to climate change than carbon dioxide. While the warming impacts of carbon dioxide buildup take longer to reverse, methane leaks are more intense and warm the atmosphere 80 times as fast as carbon

dioxide. Carbon dioxide will heat the planet; methane leaks will heat it faster.

As the nation’s biggest gas-producing state, Texas is responsible for about 30 percent of the nation’s methane emissions, much of them from leaky pipes and valves along the gas production and storage process.

So far, the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality has stayed on the sidelines instead of working with the industry and environmentalists to reduce this waste. That’s a big mistake. The federal government

is expected to produce rules on methane emissions within a few months. It is in the best interests of Texans that the oil and gas industry, environmentalists and regulators beat Washington to the punch in the hopes of influencing federal rules.

Texas doesn’t have to look far for examples of forward-thinking state leadership. Colorado this year became the first state to require the oil and gas industry to monitor and fix leaky valves and other points that could allow methane to escape. Wyoming, Ohio and Pennsylvania — other states with gigantic gas-producing fields — have followed Colorado’s example.

In Texas, these simple steps to prevent methane leakage would have the same environmental impact as shuttering 13 coal-fired power plants and would add virtually nothing to the overall price of natural gas, says the Environmental Defense Fund, a market-based environmental group.

As a major oil and gas producer, Texas has an obligation to be part of the solution. Now it must show the will...

— Dallas Morning News

Gary Borders

Dave McNeely

Other Views

Opinion

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MALLARD FILMORE ® by Bruce Tinsley

With a new slate of statewide elected officials taking office in January, and the Legislature going into

session, it is a good time for the state to abandon the stubbornness displayed under Gov. Rick Perry and to negotiate an expansion of Medicaid that would allow more of the state’s poor people to receive free Medical care.

The state could collect $100 billion in federal funds over the next decade if it expanded Medicaid eligibility to cover those whose income is one-third higher than the poverty level. That is roughly $31,322 for a family of four. In Mount Pleasant, according to clresearch.com, that would affect approximately 19 percent of the households whose income is higher than the federal poverty level of $23,850 but below $31,322. Titus County has a median household income of $40,909, so chances are high a similar percentage outside the city would fall under the Medicaid expansion umbrella.

Texas has the highest rate of uninsured people in the nation, more than six million. Many of those folks work for a living, but they make too much to qualify for Medicaid — but not enough to pay for medical emergencies. The fact the state is leaving $100 billion on the table might appear to some to be a matter of principle. What it actually means is that hospitals and taxpayers end up footing the bill when someone shows up at the emergency room. Hospitals in Texas and across the nation write off billions of dollars in uncompensated care each year, but the amount dropped by $5.7 billion nationally with the expansion of Medicaid. That in turn lowers insurance costs for the rest of us (or at least helps keep them from rising as fast). When a hospital is publicly owned, taxpayers eventually end up paying for all those unpaid visits and procedures that could have been covered by Medicaid.

Several states with Republican leadership have made deals with the feds, often by coming up with a customized approach. In Texas, the Perry-appointed Texas Institute of Health Care Quality and Efficiency has recommended allowing the state health commissioner to do the same, but only using the federal funding.

In other words, the state could greatly expand Medicaid without spending any state money and help an estimated 1.5 million Texans. That sounds like a win-win to us, and we hope with new leadership the state will quit leaving money on the table.

Our ViewWith new leadership,

expand Medicaid

Some tragedies you don’t get over

Democratic top of ticket moves on

The state’s wasteful methane habits

Mount Pleasant Daily Tribune • www.dailytribune.net • Saturday & Sunday, November 29-30, 2014 • 5A

Our judicial system is no longer what it was intended to be. The selection pro-cess of those who are to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court is nothing more than a

farce now. The nominees are only selected if they are “supportive” of the views and agenda of the sit-ting president and his political party. They, for the most part, have become activists for

the party in power and in so many instances hand down decisions favorable to the sitting president.

This is not their duty. As is known, they are to interpret the law and rule by their interpretation, whether it is as wanted or not. However, as we

observe so many rulings from them now, there is almost a certain divide among them and mostly because of their political association. These nine people are supposed to be the (although it’s ques-tionable) most knowledgeable of our laws and should surely understand their duty and obliga-tion.

We have judges appointed to the lower courts who practice the same thing. Some even elevate themselves above the law. There has been a num-ber of occasions where the people of a state (or states) have voted against certain things (such as same-sex marriage) being accepted in their state only to later have their voice muted by a liberal ac-tivist judge who places his power above morality and the decision of and by the people.

Why are they allowed to nullify the voice of the people? We have allowed parts, if not all, of the ju-dicial system to gain too much authority and pow-er. We are on the verge of collapse as a nation and there are those who seem to be unconcerned about it. Why?

Bobby JohnsonCookville

4A • Mount Pleasant Daily Tribune • www.dailytribune.net • Saturday & Sunday, August 9-10, 2014

Letter to the editor

OpiniOn

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MALLARD FILMORE ® by Bruce Tinsley

The Texas Water Development Board on Thursday voted to delay making a decision on whether to include the Marvin Nichols Reservoir in the state’s

water plans, kicking the can down the road on this controversial issue. Two water-planning groups are at odds over the issue. Region D, the Northeast Texas planning group, opposes building the 70,000-acre reservoir because it would flood valuable timberland and also take additional land out of use for environmental protection. Marvin Nichols Reservoir would be built entirely in Region D, which includes Titus, Franklin and Cass counties. Region C, the North Texas planning group, represents the Dallas area and favors including the reservoir in the state’s water plan, arguing that it will be needed to meet the growing water needs of the Metroplex.

We applaud TWDB’s decision to request that officials in the Dallas-Fort Worth plan-ning region provide the agency a quantitative analysis of what economic and environmental impact the reservoir would have, as reported by the Texas Tribune. The D-FW group did not provide that analysis as required by law.

We are opposed to building the reservoir, even though doing so is decades away. The impact on timber production and the area economy is simply too great. One timber owner estimates that $87 million to $215 million of annual timber production would be lost if the lake were built. International Paper opposes the reservoir because it would affect its operations by reducing the flow of the Sulphur River.

A wiser solution would be increased con-servation efforts so that the Metroplex’s water needs are lessened. In addition, three existing lakes — Wright Patman, Toledo Bend and Lake Texoma — can be tapped to meet DFW’s future water needs.

As Bill Ward, who owns Ward Timber in Linden and has been an outspoken opponent of the reservoir said at an April hearing, “It is state law that this state and regional water planning must protect agriculture and natural resources.” Flooding 70,000 acres of valuable timber and pastureland that has in many cases been in families for generations is hardly good steward-ship. TWDB took a needed first step in delaying putting Marvin Nichols in the state plan. We hope that it will make that decision permanent when it takes the matter back up in November.

Our ViewTWDB made right

decision on reservoir

An unhappy customer called me the other day. He had every reason to be displeased, because we had given him poor service. His approach was to use foul language, which

I endured. I figured he would eventually settle down and then maybe we could reason together.

I don’t like getting cussed out any more than the next person, but sometimes that just goes with the territory. In my younger years, I might have bowed up and told the fellow to quit using words we don’t print in a family newspaper. But with age occasionally comes wisdom, so I generally let angry customers blow off steam. Eventually, they calm down and realize they have used some language and said some things they should not have said. Apologies follow, we try to figure out how to keep what went wrong in the transaction from happening again, and move on from there.

Being in the newspaper business, as in any business that deals with the public, means one is going to deal with angry people. Being around angry people both fascinates and appalls me. It seems to me that public outbursts of anger are more common these days. Last week, I watched a young woman with pink hair get in a screaming match downtown with her partner/boy-friend/husband. He was parked on the street, and she

leaned in the window and unleashed a loud torrent of curse words and threats. After about 30 seconds, he sped off, nearly knocking her over. It was not dissimi-lar to watching a car wreck — horrifying but impos-sible to turn your gaze.

My hometown of Longview several years ago was named the Angriest City in America a title almost certainly unfairly bestowed upon it. Having lived there and elsewhere behind the Pine Curtain over many years — plus a couple stints in Austin and so-journs to Kansas and West Texas — it doesn’t seem to have a higher quotient of trigger-tempered people than anywhere else. And surely the pollsters must have neglected to ask about New York City. Fuggeh-daboutit.

However, it does appear to my unscientific eye that many of us are far more willing to vent our spleen and use harsh language toward someone who has done us wrong, actual or perceived. I blame the Internet, which has loosened the bounds of what folks will say to and about one another, as well as the overall coars-ening of popular culture.

People get online and leave comments that most would not dare say to someone’s face. After a while, that type of discourse, if you can call it that, becomes so commonplace that it somehow seems OK to treat a sales clerk who is too slow in ringing up a purchase as if she is a lowly serf who can be tongue-lashed with crude language.

When films and television shows use foul language and portray folks pitching a hissy fit, cussing people

out, and losing their tempers over small matters as normal, even accepted behavior, then it increasingly does become accepted behavior in real life. And our society ends up becoming a less congenial place in which to interact.

I rarely get angry, unless someone messes with my family. If I receive poor service, I either attempt to get the situation resolved, or I quit doing business with that company or service. I worked my way through college as a waiter, cooking steaks at Bonanza, as a pizza delivery driver, animal control officer, in a poul-try processing plant, janitor, a movie projectionist and finally at the newspaper. So I remember what a grind those types of entry-level jobs can be, and try to cut some slack when the people with whom I come into contact do not exactly provide stellar service.

Maybe they were up all night with a sick baby. Or they’re worried about how they are going to make next month’s rent. Whatever the reason, my yelling at them won’t make the service or the situation any bet-ter. A kind word of encouragement almost always gets a better result than haranguing someone, I figure.

That fellow I was talking about? After a few mo-ments, he indeed calmed down and apologized for cussing. He promised to stop by and meet me in per-son sometime.

I look forward to it.

Gary Borders is editor and publisher of The Daily Tribune.

Email: gborders@dailytribune.net

Have we become an angrier society?

Gary Borders

Gov. Rick Perry sending 1,000 National Guard troops to the border might not stem the flow of Central American kids flocking across it.

But the deployment press conference July 21, ac-companied by Perry’s harsh criticism of Obama, who had turned down Perry’s invitation to visit the bor-der, did accomplish one thing: it swung the political spotlight back to Perry’s presidential campaign.

It may be having some impact. A Fox News poll of Republican voters, taken July 20-22, showed Perry up from 5 percent in April to 12 percent – a tie with former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.

A half dozen other candidates were within the poll’s margin of error of plus or minus 5 percent: Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul (11 per-cent), New Jersey Gov. Christie (10 percent), Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan (9 percent), Florida Sen. Marco Rubio (9 percent) and Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (9 percent).

The troop deployment to the border didn’t come at the recommendation of either the Texas National Guard or the Department of Public Safety.

Both Maj. Gen. John Nichols and DPS Director Steve McCraw told a special committee of the Texas House of Representatives, exploring costs of the bor-der situation said the children don’t pose a threat.

Nichols said the Guard’s mission “has almost zero to do” with the 57,000-plus Central American kids who’ve flooded across the border since October.

The kids, some with their families and some by themselves, turn themselves in to the first Border Patrol officer they see. Law enforcement authorities along the border reportedly say they haven’t seen an increase in crime.

The governor’s office says the problem is that the

kids distract the Border Patrol officers from their usu-al duties while they deal with humanitarian needs for the children.

Among those criticizing Perry for political grand-standing was U.S. Rep. Joaquin Castro, a San Anto-nio Democrat, who served for a decade in the Texas House.

Texas on the Potomac, a Washington-based blog for the Houston Chronicle, reported that Castro had ear-lier said that Perry “should be sending the Red Cross to the border, not the National Guard.”

That triggered a letter from Perry accusing Castro of “a basic misunderstanding” of the National Guard’s role.

Castro’s return letter to Perry pointed out he is on the House Armed Services Committee, represents a city that is “Military USA,” and values the Guard. But “in this humanitarian situation,” he disagreed with Perry’s action, “which appears to be rooted in politics more than in sound public policy.”

He said Rio Grande Valley leaders think the $12 million a month Perry will spend on the National Guard could be better spent supporting local police and sheriffs.

When Obama had side-stepped Perry’s invitation to visit the border – figuring Perry and other Repub-lican pols wanted to use him as a piñata – Perry also ignored Obama’s suggestion the governor lobby Texas Republicans in Congress.

Then, when the immigration bill stalled on Thurs-day, July 31, when Republican House members couldn’t agree in advance of their August recess, the governor chided Congress and Obama.

“It’s beyond belief that Congress is abandoning its post while our border crisis continues to create hu-manitarian suffering, and criminal aliens still rep-resent a clear threat to our citizens and our nation,” Perry statement said.

“While Texas has taken what steps it can to mitigate the damage caused by a porous border, Congress and

the President have a duty to address our border secu-rity issues without further delay. Congress should not go into recess until the job is completed.”

The House Republicans on Friday hammered out a weak compromise, allocating less than a fifth of the $3.7 billion Obama had asked for, and went on vaca-tion. The Senate had already left town.

In a press conference Friday afternoon, Obama said Republicans are not “actually trying to solve the prob-lem,” but passing a bill he’s said he’ll veto “so they can check a box before they leave town for a month.”

Obama said Congress is basically requiring him to take executive action.

“I’m going to have to act alone,” Obama said. “We’ve run out of money.”

| ———|How To Help. . . . Democratic state Sen. Kirk Wat-

son used his periodic campaign newsletter “Watson Wire” July 28 to list ways to help in the “significant humanitarian crisis” of the Central American child refugees.

“Not surprisingly, our community and folks across Texas are responding with compassion. People are do-nating time, money, and expertise to help these chil-dren in need,” wrote Watson, Austin’s former mayor and one of the most solution-oriented lawmakers in the capitol. “My office has been tracking ways to get involved.”

The on-line newsletter lists resources and websites for organizations, including the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, Catholic charities, how attorneys can be of assistance, the Texas Chap-ter of the National Association of Social Workers, and others.

If you’re interested, check www.kirkwatson.com/watson-wire/.

Dave McNeely is a veteran Texas political writerEmainl: davemcneely111@gmail.com

Different approaches to the refugees

Dave McNeely

Our judicial system is seriously flawed

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