Lisa Fields & Associates

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Having the Tough Conversations

without the

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Smart Start of Davidson County Early Childhood Professional Educators Conference

March 26, 2011

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Why Me?

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Introductions

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3 Learning Objectives:

Describe respectful ways to communicate in amanner that is beneficial to both parties.

Use easy methods to discuss “sensitive” topics.

List 3 methods to establish healthy boundaries.

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I will not accept The Jerry Springer Show behavior.

Period8

Unfortunately, we see it so often.

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I’m the “No Drama Momma.”

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Respectful ways to communicate

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I need to remember:

Different Stories: We each see theworld differently.

We have different information.

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I need to remember

We have different interpretations.

We are influenced by past experiences.

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Method to Discuss“Sensitive” Topics

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This is a Pattern

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Different Fabrics17

But still a Dress 18

When People & Turtles feel endangered what do they do?

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They Hide20

or21

They might Snap22

My Student 23

What to do?24

Time for the Pattern.

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Don’t use this when:

When a person is under the influence of Alcohol & or other Drugs.

When a person has serious, chronic mental illness and they are not presently stable.

When a person is presenting domestic violence patterns.

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Let’s Go!28

When you....Short, Sweet, Specific

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I’m(The Feeling)

The word Concerned works nicely

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Because(The Thinking)

This explains the Feeling

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So,....(Ask for what you want)

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This is what I said:

When you pull your shirt up to here

I’m concerned

Because I’m having a hard time concentrating and I really want to Listen to you

So, could you put your shirt down?

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Practice makes Perfect

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Knowing when Enough is Enough

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When children see adults with little or no boundaries our work

becomes so challenging.

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People with healthy boundaries have

developed an identity separate and

distinct from others and are not

dependent upon others to nurture their

personal and spiritual growth.

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“I’m not going to have a discussion with the Grandmother regarding the words she used and how she pointed her finger in my face

even though she did this in front of the children in our classroom.

I want her to like me.”

“It’s just not worth going down this road.”

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“I didn’t ask one of my questions during our training because I didn’t want the teacher/class to think I was stupid”

“I thought I made a really greatconnection with those parents, but they didn’t say speak to me when I saw them

in the mall.”

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Find out from your bosswhat behavior you will

or will not accept.

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Identify when the problem is “theirs” and when the problem

is ours.

“I didn’t cause the problem and I’m trying to help.”

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Lessons Learned. 43

Thank you for the work you are doing to help create smart, healthy and wise children.

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