discipline and punishment. a common dilemma think of your own child, a child you have cared for, or...
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Discipline and Punishment
A Common DilemmaThink of your own child, a child you have cared
for, or a child that you have observed someone else caring for.
Think of a time that the child misbehaved.
How did you (or the adult in charge respond)?
What is discipline?
What is punishment?
Discipline is…
To teach; to disciple; to lead by example
Encourages children to internalize standards for behavior
Is positive guidance; teaches child HOW TO behave rather than HOW NOT TO behave
Provides healthy structure/rules/routines for a child
Reciprocal Discipline
Related to the misbehavior
It “fits the crime”
Involves making restitution of compensation for the misbehavior
Punishment is…Punitive, harsh
Demeaning
Focuses on stopping misbehavior but fails to teach positive behavior
Induces anxiety or arousal (fear, sadness, anger) in child which may interfere with child’s ability to learn from punishment
Effective in the short-term, but not in the long run
Often does not work unless the “law enforcement officer” is present
Does not teach positive behavior
Does not help children internalize values
Expiatory PunishmentPunitive measures that are unrelated to the
child’s misdeed
Punishment does not fit the crime
The Hot Topic:Corporal PunishmentAny intentional infliction of pain in response to a
child’s unwanted behavior or language
AKA physical punishment, and physical discipline
Can range in frequency, severity, quickness of administration, and duration across childhood
Common forms Slapping on the leg, arms, or rear (spanking) Hitting with a hand or an object Pinching Washing mouth out with soap or making the child
taste hot sauce as a punishment
Approval of CPMajority of parents approve but approval rating
has declined during the last few decades (Straus, 1996) Over 94% in 1968 68% in 1994 International Parenting Study analysis currently in
progress
Even parents who do not approve of corporal punishment may use it at times
Prevalence of CPMost children receive some form of corporal
punishment at least once during childhood
In the United States (Straus & Stewart, 1999): 35% of infants prior to age 1 Between 80 and 90% of preschoolers Roughly half of 12 year old children About 25% of children between the ages of 14 and
17
Variations by…Gender of parent
Parents own experiences
Socioeconomic status
Race of parent
Religious beliefs of parents
Geographic location of parent
Number of children in the family
Age of child
The Controversy:What’s the Big Deal?Many parents rely on corporal punishment
Belief that it is for child’s own good and not harmful Belief that they received it and “turned out fine/OK” Cite religious scripture and common sayings (spare
the rod, spoil the child)
Research has found that CP is effective for achieving immediate compliance (Gershoff, 2002)
Research has also found that CP poses several threats to children’s development which has called its use into question (Gershoff, 2002)
An Overview of the Research Findings Immediate compliance
Lower moral internalization
Greater aggression
Greater externalizing behavior problems
Greater risk of depression later in life
Greater risk of abuse of spouse or child
Greater risk of sexually deviant behavior
Regardless of the Research… It is very unwise for professionals to
recommend corporal punishment—you never really know who you are talking to
Many school settings and childcare settings prohibit CP
Even parents who do use CP would like to be aware of alternative strategies
There are some non-physical strategies that can also pose a threat to children
Strategies for Effective Guidance: Making Discipline WorkBe nurturing and responsive on a regular basis—
stay connected
Begin with age-appropriate expectations! We all need a little grace at times
Promote positive behavior
Attempt to understand the child’s motivation—how are they conceptualizing the situation?
Value each child’s uniqueness
Begin early
Encourage children to think and reason through a problematic situation
Be consistent! (But still be age-appropriate)
Recognize that nothing is effective all of the time—it’s a process
A Few Good StrategiesRedirection
Natural Consequences
Logical Consequences
Making and Enforcing Rules
Emotion Coaching
Problem Solving Discipline
Time Out with a Problem Solving Approach
Take a Parent’s Time Out
RedirectionGreat for infants and toddlers, and good for
older children, too!
Attempt to view the situation through the child’s eyes.
Simply help the child to focus their attention on something else.
Create an environment that enhances positive behavior.
Be a thinking parent and anticipate problematic situations when possible.
Natural ConsequencesParent does nothing and lets the situation
teach the lesson.
The easiest option (well sometimes).
Do nothing. Let the consequence of the misbehavior teach the lesson.
Logical ConsequencesParental enforcement is required.
Do something, but make it related to the misbehavior.
Guide the child in making the situation right.
Include them in the discipline process. What do you think I should do in this situation? What do you think you should do in this situation?
Follow through with your discipline plan.
Make Rules and Enforce ThemInvolve child in making rules.Ask the following…
What are you doing? (Bring attention)What is the rule? (Help them to
remember and articulate)Why do we have this rule? (Helps child to
understand the reason for the rule)What is the consequence for breaking the
rule? (Reinforces that misbehavior has consequences)
Follow through with the consequence!
Emotion CoachingAddress the misbehavior.
Discuss the misbehavior with the child to determine the cause.
Focus on helping the child pinpoint his or her negative feelings.
Encourage the child to think of alternative ways to deal with those feelings.
Problem Solving DisciplineDiscuss the misbehavior with the child.
Encourage the child to identify the problem. Help the child to understand their misbehavior. Encourage the child to generate alternative ways
to deal with the problem in the future. The more possibilities that the child generates, the better.
Time Out: A Better WayPut the child in a designated area to think
about what they did wrong and what they could have done differently.
Use an age appropriate timeline (about a minute for each year of age).
Before removing the child from time out, discuss how they misbehaved and what they could do next time.
Take a Time Out for Yourself If you are feeling overwhelmed, ensure that the
child is in a safe place and take a break.
Use humor when appropriate.
Take care of yourself!
Spend positive time with your child.
Further Reading“Hands-On”Applied Sources
The Discipline Book by William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N.
www.askdrsears.com
Parenting Assistance Line: www.pal.ua.edu
Attachment Parenting International: www.attachmentparenting.org
Families Count: www.familiescount.net
Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others by Myrna Shure & Theresa DiGeronimo
Research Articles and Sources
Beating the Devil Out of Them by Murray A. Straus, Ph.D.
Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors an experiences: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128(4), 539-579.
Smith, A. B. (2004). What do children learn from being smacked: Messages from social science theory and research. Childrenz Issues, 8(2), 7-15.
Straus, M. A., & Stewart, J. H. (1999). Corporal punishment by American parents: National dataon prevalence, chronicity, severity, and duration, in relation to child and familycharacteristics. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 2, 55-70.
Mulvaney, M. K., & Mebert, C. J. (2010). Stress appraisal and attitudes towards corporalpunishment as intervening processes between corporal punishment and subsequentmental health. Journal of Family Violence, 25, 401-412.