dilbert versus godzilla - how to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in the workplace

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Dilbert Versus Dilbert Versus Godzilla Godzilla How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in the workplace...

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Who hasn't encountered someone agressive, nasty, or mean in the workplace? This presentation provides proven techniques for dealing with monsters...even if that monster is you!

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Page 1: Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in the workplace

Dilbert Versus GodzillaDilbert Versus Godzilla

How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in the workplace...

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Warning SignsWarning Signs Threatening posture

(in-your-face) Red face Lowered voice Talking through

clenched teeth Condescending tone Balled fists Slamming doors or

drawers

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Underlying Causes of ConflictUnderlying Causes of Conflict

Hurt Shame Frustration

Embarrassment Fear

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10 Conflict Fears10 Conflict Fears

1. Harm2. Rejection3. Loss of relationship4. Anger5. Failing6. Being seen as

selfish

7. Saying the wrong thing

8. Hurting someone else

9. Getting what you want: success

People avoid conflict because they fear....

10. Intimacy

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7 Conflict Choices

1. Avoidance2. Giving in3. Bully4. Compromise

5. Honor6. Passive-aggressive7. Problem solve

together

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BreakoutBreakout

Organize into small groups of 4-5. Take about 3 minutes each to highlight your most horrific work-related conflict and how you reacted

Decide among yourselves whose story is the most awesome and be ready to share with the room

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Horror Stories RevisitedHorror Stories Revisited Let’s hear from

each table. Which is the

most awesome story?

How could the situation have been resolved differently?

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Recognizing GodzillaRecognizing Godzilla

What happened or was the catalyst? What were you saying to yourself that

upset you? How did you feel about the event? What did you do in response to the

event? Is your mental response to the event

helping or hurting?

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Techniques for CopingTechniques for Coping Face the conflict Other’s perceptions are more

important than our reality Think your way through doing and not

doing something Circumnavigate facing the conflict

directly Build on small successes Be courageous and tenacious

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5 P’s of Group Escalation5 P’s of Group Escalation

1. Prevent further escalation by listening first

2. Provide an organized and timed forum for discussion

3. Present possible options for resolution

4. Project confidence in the group’s ability to reach a resolution

5. Produce by promising and delivering

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““Vent If You’re Bent...”Vent If You’re Bent...”

1. Offer to listen to a 2-minute rant.2. If needed, offer another minute.3. Don’t interrupt the person.4. Don’t tell them to calm down.5. Be empathetic...”You might be right.”6. Paraphrase what they’re saying.7. Don’t take responsibility for something that

isn’t yours.

According to Michael Staver, practice the following technique to defuse anger...

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Playing RefereePlaying Referee

Ask permission before getting involved or you may become the focus of the anger

Stay detached and remain neutral Focus on issues, not just the signs Don’t assume you know the answer Formulate an action plan

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Conflict ManagementConflict Management

Acknowledge responsibility

Seek help andchange your behavior

If you’re Godzilla:

Avoid excuse making

Forgive yourselffor being human

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Conflict ManagementConflict Management

Look and listen for escalations

Maintain confidence and assertiveness

If they’re Godzilla: Report all threats Continue normal

work patterns Allow discussion

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ConclusionConclusion

Responding to conflict effectively can bring peace and promote better

relationships

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ReferencesReferences “Dilbert” by Scott Adams www.dilbert.com “Barry’s Temple of Godzilla” www.godzillatemple.com Mastering Your Message – Conflict Resolution by Dr.

Tony Alessandra Lifescripts: What to Say to Get What You Want in

Life's Toughest Situations by Stephen M. Pollan and Mark Levine

21 Ways to Defuse Anger and Calm People Down by Michael Staver

A Coward’s Guide to Conflict by Tim Ursiny, Ph.D. Problem Solving and Decision Making – Handling

Conflict and Dealing with Change by Thomas J. Winninger, CPAE

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Contact InformationContact Information

Mary R. Van Brink Van Brink Systems, Inc. Cell: 678-313-6200 LinkedIn:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/mary-van-brink/0/8b9/835

Email: [email protected]