difficult peopleslideswebinar

Team Leader’s Toolkit for Handling Difficult People

December 20, 2012

High Stakes Meeting Facilitation Team & Facilitator Training Conversational Keynotes, Breakouts and Panels Specializing in

Kristin J. Arnold, MBA, CMC, CPF, CSP © 2012 All Rights Reserved

  Tel: 480.502.2100 or 800.589.4733

Fax: 480.502.2102 or 888.884.9132

Email: [email protected]

President, QPC Inc. – The Extraordinary Team

11890 E Juan Tabo Road, ScoSsdale, AZ 85255

www.ExtraordinaryTeam.com

Who Comes to Mind?


NLM


About 98% are just different and the reason we think they are difficult is because they are

not like us.

The best way to influence anyone is to enter the conversaHon going on in the other

person's head. That would require we take Hme to understand how they think.

Most of us are too busy trying to get the other person to enter the conversaHon going

on in our own head.

Kit Grant

Don’t Agree with You

They are "difficult" in they are not "rowing in the same direcHon" as [you or] the organizaHon.

Joe Zuccaro

Beyond Consensus

3 LiKle Known Secrets to Achieving Solid Agreements Among Your Team Mates

October 18, 2012



DisrupTve


I find the most difficult people to deal with are not willing or able to see the other's perspecHve on criHcal issues.

Ken Boxer

•  Overbearing “Know it all” •  Blocking others ideas “Nit Picker”

•  ASacking “Sniper” •  ImpaHent “The Rusher”

•  “The Dominator” conversaHon

•  Talking on the side

•  Withdrawn •  Avoid •  Stalling •  Complain

•  Talk on the side

Disciplinary ConversaTons

hKps://secure.confertel.net/tsregister.asp?program=JeKReplay


DisrupTve Behaviors

Your Goal: Minimize the disrupTons

dream designs / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2 Strategies

Time Topic Process Leader

Kick Off

Content

Closure

•  Leader •  Facilitator/Process Observer

•  Timekeeper

•  Recorder/Scribe


•  Honor Time Limits •  All parHcipate…no one dominates

•  Have an abundance mentality

•  Seek first to understand, then to be understood

•  Don’t just “give in” to avoid disagreements

•  Avoid “Thumbs up/down” or bargaining

•  Team leader? •  Expert in the room?

•  Loudest voice? •  Majority vote?

•  Consensus? •  Unamimous?

•  New members can catch up

•  Retrace steps •  Reminder of earlier decisions

•  Easier to prepare for a presentaHon

•  “Check out” •  What worked? What didn’t?

Worked Well Do Differently

1.

2.

3.

1.

2.

3.

•  Can vs. must •  You are not alone •  Escalate unHl resolved – Low level –  Involve the team – Take it offline

– Confront

DisrupTon Happens


•  Can vs. must? •  Eye contact •  Gestures •  Movement


•  Refer to agenda/reaffirm the process •  Refocus/rephrase/reframe toward the goal

•  Ask them to “headline” what they have said

•  Remind/refer to ground rules


•  “Reflect” ‐ Verbal redirect •  Invite parHcipaHon e.g. round robin •  “Park it” •  Define or “operaHonalize” key terms

•  Suggest a more construcHve path forward

•  Give feedback to the team

•  A moment of silence/reflecHon Hme


•  Take a break •  Meet privately to talk to the disrupter

•  Point out disrupHve behavior – Be specific and descripHve – No judgment

•  Ask for cooperaHon •  Agree on the next step


•  Confront the person gently before the group •  Appeal for cooperaHon •  Ask, “How can we move forward?”

•  Ask the group to help in resolving the problem

Key: Maintain their self‐esteem


•  Check out our learning resources available – www.ExtraordinaryTeam.com

•  Connect on Linked In, TwiSer, Facebook •  Watch how to videos – www.YouTube.com/user/QPCinc


•  FacilitaHon, Team & PresentaHon Skills Training •  High Stakes MeeHng FacilitaHon®

•  MainStage ConversaHons™

•  Team ConsulHng & Coaching



TBD I’ll be looking for your input soon!


© 2011 All Rights Reserved High Stakes Meeting Facilitation Team & Facilitator Training Conversational Keynotes, Breakouts and Panels Specializing in

Kristin J. Arnold, MBA, CMC, CPF, CSP © 2012 All Rights Reserved

  Tel: 480.502.2100 or 800.589.4733

Fax: 480.502.2102 or 888.884.9132

Email: [email protected]

President, QPC Inc. – The Extraordinary Team

11890 E Juan Tabo Road, ScoSsdale, AZ 85255


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